anattractional-safe-space

[anattractional-safe-space]

ancute / acuteexi culture is getting confused and feeling like something is missing bc i dont find things cute. i dont get it guys why are you all attracted to this

Thank you for sharing your experience.

Asks are always open for other experiences or questions.

[anattractional-safe-space]

Being greyaesthetic and asexual is so weird sometimes because most of the time I can't say if anyone or anything looks good. So many aces have the experience of mistaking aesthetic attraction for sexual attraction, but I never had that. There was never enough of it to latch on to. Either nothing at all or extremely weak to the point I wasn't sure if it wasn't the aesthetic equivalent of staring at a word for so long that you're unsure it was ever even a word in the first place. I had known since a very early age that I didn't understand beauty, which wasn't a good thing for (someone who was supposed to be) a girl, so I had to hide that "defficiency" to the best of my ability even before sexual attraction became an important factor socially. On one hand it made my asexuality fairly easy to accept when I learned of its existence, but on the other it made sure that there wasn't a time in my life where I didn't feel weird and othered to some extent. I feel like the intersection of asexuality and anaestheticism should be discussed more often in a-spec spaces.

Thank you for sharing your experience ans insight.

If anyone else wishes to share, ask box is always open.

[anattractional-safe-space]

hi so this is less of an experience and more of a question

so im kind of new to the community and was just wondering what different "types" (for lack of a better word) of aspec there are. like i knew about aro and ace people but im knew to learning about other identities. or if its not the kind of blog that explains this kind of thing do you have any good resources for me to look into? sorry if this isnt the purpose of this blog im just kind of lost where i can look thanks

No worries! Questions are always welcome. Sorry for not answering right away, I rarely check tumblr. 😅

There's so many different ways people can fall under the anattractional spectrum, so I feel that rather trying to explain them all to you, I'll just provide some helpful links that you can read through.

Links are under the "show more" cut.

Of anyone has any other questions or experiences to share, asks are always open!

[anattractional-safe-space]

i read wikipedia articles abt emotions and social stuff and the way any mention of not wanting to interact with humanity is because of fear makes me wanna rip my hair out!!!! also just seeing friendship propaganda from big platonic/j

i learned i was anattractional the other day and it just clicked instantly

also one time my dad tried that whole family sticks together lecture and he was making wolf pack analogies and like, bbg, u used 2 hit me. wtf r u talking abt'

anyways byeeeeeeeeeee have an evil day(good day but its evil)!

Thank you for sharing your experience.

I can understand the struggle of seeing how others refer to not wanting to interact with others and anattraction, and the immense misunderstandings that surrounds them. Regardless, I am glad that you have determined the label that fits you through anattraction.

Also, I know it's not the centre of your experience, but I'm sorry that your father did such things to you. I don't know what else to say in reference to that, my apologies.

I hope you also have an evil day! Thank you for the ask.

(Ask box is always open! ^^)

[anattractional-safe-space]

do you guys ever have that once in a blue moon attraction and when it happens its MASSIVE. maybe im anattractionalspike idk (do tell me im not quite sure myself) but like it feels weird. its like extreme liking. from my 2 events of this happening its usually like i start to like. Indulge in a lot of content about them? Idk its hard to diffrienciate from liking a character (which i do w anyone i don't really feel any attraction for then except for the few aesthetic attractions) and like liking a character (what is mentioned here)

If you feel comfortable with the label anattractionalspike, then feel free to use it. I'm not sure how your situation works exactly, as I'm not well informed on fictoattraction and, based on my understanding,your identity is centred around this.

To clarify the Spike label, does your attraction to the individuals stay or does it randomly begin and then randomly disappear? Is it a fluid beginning of attraction or an immediate hit? Asking yourself these kinds of questions may help you feel more comfortable with your label.

My apologies, as I cannot guide you through your self discovery and the labels you choose to describe yourself. In the end, only you know who you are and what feels right. Regardless, you are valid in your emotions and experience.

If I misunderstood, or if there's anything you would like clarification with, please feel free to send a follow up ask. I'm willing to help however I can.

(Ask box is always open. ^^)

[anattractional-safe-space]

I've read an anon ask if growing up/being an adult and anattractional changes anything. For heads up, I'm 21 and an AUDHD adult.

Unfortunately, this society is build in societal expectations, attraction, and relationships. Ppl would try to befriend me but I'll always be sincere with them and smts I feel guilty for being anattractional and not feeling the same as ppl who call me their friend. We are not heartless, we are just like this, not everything is love, relationships or attraction.

When it comes to surgeries and looking for ppl to share rooms to live, I just prefer being sincere and telling them that I'm not looking to befriend or a close relationship bc even the thought of being in relationships disgust me and make me uncomfortable.

I try to keep it sincere, there will be ppl who will understand but theyll still be calling you their friend or even family, it's complicated honestly. I've isolated myself when I was 18-19 from ppl that call me friends, but I couldn't isolate from family as I still live under their care bc of being autistic and having constant shutdowns bc of socialization and relationships.

I wanted to share my experience and I hope that my story helped even a little or just entertained you at least...

Thanks💖

Thank you for sharing your experience. I hope this reaches the previous asker.

(Askbox is always open!)

[anattractional-safe-space]

i say im aroace because its easier for most people to get than me telling them im only attracted to computers, romantically and sexually.

i dont experience any (i think its called tertiary) attraction outside of that tho so ya

Thank you for sharing your experience! You are perfectly valid for doing so!

(Askbox is always open for any questions or experiences.)

[anattractional-safe-space]

Would I still be considered anattractional and be valid even if i self-pleasured in the past? Im questioning my identity but that is my only thought that is detaining me in validating myself

Thanks‼️

Sorry for answering this really late! As with the previous ask, yes, even if you have engaged in self pleasure, you are still valid with your label. As long as you feel comfortable with your label, that is all that matters.

Thank you for the ask! The ask box is always open for more questions or experiences.

[anattractional-safe-space]

Can I still be Apothiattractional, anattractional and sex repulsed even if I've engaged in self pleasure? I'm feeling insecure if having done that and liking it makes me less valid or not sex repulsed/Anattractional.

Yes, you can. Labels are simply what you feel best describes you. If you feel that those labels feel the best, despite having previously engaged in self pleasure and enjoying it, they are valid. People make a really big deal out of labels, when really all that matters is that you feel comfortable with the ones you use.

Thank you for the ask, and I hope that helps. The Askbox is always open if anyone else has any questions or experiences they want to share! ^^

[anattractional-safe-space]

It's strange having a relationship with someone based off of nothing but pure attachment...

No attraction of any kind; not platonic, I'm frayplatonic; not romantic, I'm aromantic; Not sexual for certain, and definitely not alterous or queerplatonic unless we wanna talk about that attachment being modified by him being a PIC.

It's such a strange thing, especially as it's mutual, and we've been bonded for years (10+, elementary school friends to... whatever this is)

Does anyone else deal with this? If you do, would you say it's comforting?

Thank you for sharing your experience! I'll let other people share their takes on this, as I personally have never experienced something that is exactly like that situation.

If anyone else wants to share any experiences or ask any questions, feel free to do so. The askbox is always open.

[anattractional-safe-space]

do you guys ever like. misuse words for attraction w/o realising ur a(attraction). like u used to use "platonic" for years b4 i realized i was apl

Thank you for sharing your experience! I'll let others respond to this as well, but if you want my opinion, it is below.

(Mod's response: I can't talk for anyone else, but I used to just categorise myself as ace, despite being almost entirely on the anattractional spectrum. Now I just don't deal with the specifics and just call myself anattractional, and otherwise am unlabeled. Not sure if that's exactly what you're referring to.)

If anyone has any questions or experiences to share, feel free to do so in the ask box. ^^

[anattractional-safe-space]

Beautiful designs and flags. Absolutely adore the aspec one, especially with the dragon. Needed to reblog this to share with the other aspecs and to give this more attention.

Time to provide more queer designs! This time its some intersex and a-spec designs :)

Everyone is free to use these designs on shirts, stickers, pins, whatever they'd like, as long as they are using it for inclusive purposes! Just don't claim it as your own, please.

First up, our simple intersex design! The first is transparent, the second has a background for easier viewing.

Next up, some a-spec designs!

The silhouettes on the background were provided by the lovely Eldritch Dumpster Rat from The Void (our friend, who wishes to remain anonymous.)

From left to right, across the wings, the flags go as follows:

-Ace-spec (asexual spectrum) -Asen-spec (asensual spectrum) -Anae-spec (anaesthetic spectrum) -Afam-spec (afamilial spectrum) -Apl-spec (aplatonic spectrum) -Aqp-spec (aqueerplatonic spectrum) -Aro-spec (aromantic spectrum)

On the head is the analt-spec (analterous spectrum) flag. In the background is the anattractional flag.

-----

Check out our other designs!

I support equality always

Attraction is individual, not societal

Queerness is natural

Gender and sex are spectrums

Racial equality matters

All disabilities matter

Support all neurodivergence

[anattractional-safe-space]

I've been feeling so lonely. It comes and goes. Today it was bad because I have to get my Catcher in the Rye homework done. I was reading over questions about the theme of loneliness and alienation and my heart kind of dropped. I tried to go on a bike ride to the park to see if there was anyone I could talk to. Unfortunately it feels like 4°F out there and I had to come back.

But I guess it's good that I had to come back. Because I don't know what I would have done if I had actually seen a real person. Once having any kind of connection with people went outside the range of mental fantasy. That's how it is. I fantasize about someday hooking up with someone. But I can't think of a single person who I've thought of as attractive in that way, who I would actually trust to do that. I fantasize about friendships. But I have never looked at someone and ever envisioned being their friend, ever thought about any kind of connection with them at all. I already identify as an afamilial loveless aro and I fantasize about abandoning my family and living alone.

I know I have serious trust issues. I know that. Is this that? Because I don't understand what's going on or why I'm like this.

Your experience is valid. Nothing that you are going through is inherently a problem, but I understand the struggle of trying to understand why you are the way you are. I feel like self discovery or just digging deeper is the only way to do so, but idk if that'll help all the time.

(Honestly, I'm not sure if you want an actual answer to this question, or to leave it as a rhetorical one. It feels more like an experience, so I wanted to leave it on its own to speak for itself. Sorry. If you want to discuss anything else, please send another ask. Thank you.)

Asks are always open! Feel free to send in any questions or experiences!

[anattractional-safe-space]

Absolutely beautiful flags and great meaning. Sorry for such a late reblog. ^^

I was sad seeing the ‘inclusivity flag’ did not mention disabled people at all. Disabled people are often left out of pride events due to a lack of accessibility, being thought of as being unable to communicate their queerness and infantalisation of disabled people.

I propose this flag which includes zigzag stripes and more muted colours as a reference to the disability flag. Because queer, disabled people are so often left out from pride events it is important we be remembered.

[Alt text two versions of the inclusivity flag - one of which includes the intersex flag. 

Both of these inclusivity flags have been made to have more muted colours and the rainbows zig-zagging down the flag, akin to that of a disability flag. 

There is a dark grey background in the gaps at the top and bottom of the flag.]

[anattractional-safe-space]

Re-reblog because of a grammar fix. Sorry for the late answer, I reblogged this on my main by accident^^'

After creating our "I support equality always" design and "Gender and sex are spectrums" design, we are on a roll!

Again, everyone is free to use this design on shirts, stickers, pins, whatever they'd like, as long as they are using it for inclusive purposes! Just don't claim it as your own, please.

The transparent version:

A second version with a background, for easier viewing:

From left to right on the top row, there's:

-Non-binary/genderqueer x women (using the trixic flag & maedic flag) -NB/GQ x men (using the toric flag & adonic flag) -NB/GQ x NB/GQ (using the enbian flag) -WLW (using the sapphic flag) -MLM (using the achillean flag) -WLM/MLM (using the duaric flag)

On the left in the middle segment, there's:

-Objectum (with the red picket fence objectum symbol, using the objectum flag) -Auto-spec (with the heart & circle arrow symbol, using the auto-spec flag)

In the very middle, theres the a-spec compass, using the aspec flag

On right in the middle segment, theres

-The monogamy rings -The ethical non-monogamy heart, using the polyamory colors

On the bottom row, from left to right, theres

-The bi- symbol, using the bi flag -The poly-/ply- symbol, using the poly/ply flag -The pan- symbol, using the pan flag -The omni- symbol, using the omni flag -The abro- symbol, using the abro flag

[anattractional-safe-space]

After creating our "I support equality always" design and "Gender and sex are spectrums" design, we are on a roll!

Again, everyone is free to use this design on shirts, stickers, pins, whatever they'd like, as long as they are using it for inclusive purposes! Just don't claim it as your own, please.

The transparent version:

A second version with a background, for easier viewing:

From left to right on the top row, there's:

-Non-binary/genderqueer x women (using the trixic flag & maedic flag) -NB/GQ x men (using the toric flag & adonic flag) -NB/GQ x NB/GQ (using the enbian flag) -WLW (using the sapphic flag) -MLM (using the achillean flag) -WLM/MLM (using the duaric flag)

On the left in the middle segment, there's:

-Objectum (with the red picket fence objectum symbol, using the objectum flag) -Auto-spec (with the heart & circle arrow symbol, using the auto-spec flag)

In the very middle, theres the a-spec compass, using the aspec flag

On right in the middle segment, theres

-The monogamy rings -The ethical non-monogamy heart, using the polyamory colors

On the bottom row, from left to right, theres

-The bi- symbol, using the bi flag -The poly-/ply- symbol, using the poly/ply flag -The pan- symbol, using the pan flag -The omni- symbol, using the omni flag -The abro- symbol, using the abro flag

[anattractional-safe-space]

Spreading this around! Fantastic Design. Very important meaning behind it too. : D

Equality design!

Everyone is free to use this design on shirts, stickers, pins, whatever they'd like, as long as they are using it for inclusive purposes! Just don't claim it as your own, please.

The transparent version:

A second version with a background, for easier viewing:

The design includes the following:

-The adoption heart, for people who have been adopted -Religious symbols (Christianity/catholicism, Jewish, Muslim, Ba’hai, Buddhist, Jainist, Hindu, Confucianist, Shinto, Toaist, Zoroastrianist, and Pagan symbols) -A symbol for blindness -A symbol for deafness -The plurality rings, for all types of systems -A brain for neurodivergent people -The alterhuman, pet regression, and age regression symbols -A symbol for mutism -A symbol for physically disabled people -A sunflower symbol, which represents people with invisible disabilities -A plus-sized symbol, for people who are fat/chubby -A racial equality fist -The abuse survivor flag, with fire rose (which represents people who survived sexual abuse) -The feminism symbol -The polyamory symbol -The a-spec flag -The rainbow flag -The m-spec flag -The altersex symbol -The intersex symbol -Trans & genderqueer colors