anxious-nights

[anxious-nights]

Howling at the moon.

Loputyn

[anxious-nights]

Rob Bowyer

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“I think that inside every adult is the heart of the child. We just gradually convince ourselves that we have to act like an adult.” - Shigeru Miyamoto

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Beautifully cruel in so many ways.

It’s hard to be just one thing and not another. Occasionally we become someone else, and that’s okay too.

— Fragments

[anxious-nights]

Dear me,

Hi been a while I just wanted to say “shut up” everything is fine.

reblog this with a message to your future self

[anxious-nights]

The Dying Poet

It feels different now

Unlike those first passionate days

When I followed heart,

And there was rhythm in the pen.

Every curve was like a wave

Ripples in rhymes

Rhymes in every line

And now, my mind stale

And these ideas, like a blur

Unclear.

[anxious-nights]

Comfort in our darkest times.

2020 June 21

[anxious-nights]

“In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” Martin Luther King Jr.

[anxious-nights]

Dear you,

how have you been?

I hope your well, I am still living.

Life was difficult. I’ve lost myself in the journey and lost sight of things I held dear, like you.

I’m sorry that I haven’t contacted you earlier but it’s been hard for me to wake up. It has been hard to breath. It has been hard to love and to hate. It has been hard to just live in the moment.

This life took a lot and gave me a lot of things I hold dear but I’m still blinded by the shadows which surround me. Numbed my sight and my voice.

But change was on the run. He grabbed me and pulled me into his arms. Embraced me and protected me from this agony I’ve felt. I don’t know if he stays but I hope he does.

I hope that Change will get to you too and show you how to find your voice. Scream from your lungs, laugh your loudest laughter and smile your brightest smile.

Change may find you and I hope you embrace her. Embrace the life ahead of you. Hug the people she changed on her journey to find you. She will get you. Sooner or later so don’t be afraid to hold her hand, because she will be kind to you. She will be with you in the process and embrace you. You are precious for me and her and him.

Change will get you so be prepared. Don’t hide because they will find you. Be open minded because they try to help you. They show you a better way of life and may also show you your better self.

I’ve missed you and may Change get to you.

Sincerely,

Anxious Nights

[anxious-nights]

hydrangea blooms.

update

2019.06.15

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I guess I can be happy

My brain in the morning

[anxious-nights]

Trapped

We lay in bed 

hugging, kissing, enjoying our time 

But I’m trapped in the darkness 

Tears fill up my eyes 

My heart feels like ice 

Inhale

Exhale 

Tears won’t stop 

STOP PLEASE 

Your worried 

Your sad 

But I’m trapped in the darkness 

I open my mouth 

BUT the words are stuck 

I want to tell you 

I’M SAD

I’M HURT 

I’M LONELY 

But I’m trapped in the darkness 

You keep asking 

You keep telling me everything is gonna be fine 

But I’m trapped 

I cry till I fall asleep 

NEXT MORNING 

You look sad 

You haven’t slept

You were worried that I would be gone 

I look at you 

Red eyes 

Sadness 

Loneliness 

I’m crying 

Still trapped 

But a sun-ray creeps up 

You hug me 

You kiss me 

You cry 

And I wonder 

Will there be another morning?

[anxious-nights]

As you may know, Post it Forward was created to reinforce something Tumblr users had been doing on their own for years: being open, being kind, and offering support. For many people—particularly young people—it has been a safe haven for openly discussing issues that matter, especially issues pertaining to mental health. From Issue Time question and answer segments with licensed psychiatrists to celebrating Mental Health Month year after year, we’ve been committed to talking about things that matter since 2015.

That’s why we’re so excited to honor World Mental Health Day on Wednesday, October 10.

This year we paid homage to the day by partnering with Made of Millions, a grassroots mental health platform, for Seen: A Mental Health Exhibition. Featuring photography of Rose Cartwright by artist Yumna Al-Arashi, the premiere of their short film Mindstory, and incredible AR-enabled work from some hand-picked Tumblr Creatrs (@creatrs), this exhibit aimed to explore how the digital world can keep people from suffering in silence. You can see some of the pictures of the event above.

It’s important to be seen. And we see you, Tumblr. Stay tuned here to @postitforward. We’re going to reblog some posts that speak to mental health and self care all day long. Want to join in the discussion? Tag your posts with #postitforward so it’s easy for the rest of the community to find you and interact.

And remember, there are resources out there if you need them. It’s okay to use any help you can get.

Ditch the Label (@ditchthelabel) is one of the largest international anti-bullying projects. It offers free support for anyone who signs up for their community. It’s free, it’s easy, and it’s there for you.

It Gets Better (@itgetsbetterproject) gives support for members of the LGBTQ+ community who want it.

It’s Ok To Talk is a safe space to share your experiences with mental health, mental illness and wellbeing.

And of course, Made of Millions is an amazing new 501c3  grassroots mental health non-profit launching on World Mental Health Day.

Take care of yourself, Tumblr. You deserve it.

[anxious-nights]

Colors

Life isn’t something easy

Waking up, to breath in and out, to move and to talk

Life is grey and to be normal means to do everything all over again

Maybe I’m crazy to try being different

To see this grey world in a different perspective

to fill it with color, little splashes that let me endure this emptiness

Just little sparks of color and light that might surround my tiny world

Surround me and my dearest memories and the people I love…

But the grey invades me, tries to capture me and ink me

I feel it slowly invading my deepest memories

My color fades, my tiny world is slowly turning grey

Life isn’t something easy

I wake up in a grey world

Dark, normal and colorless

I breath in and out

I’m scared to be normal

To do things all over again till they turn into a habit

Maybe I’m crazy

But my craziness is nothing compared to normal people

They are crazy to be able to endure this grey world that fills them with emptiness

fills them with the acceptance of being one in a million

I’m crazy to try breaking out even if the grey, normal world won’t let me

My colors are still there somewhere, somehow they survived

Sometimes I walk around in this grey world and see them

They are bright and so beautiful

Maybe I’m crazy but that’s fine

I’m more scared to be normal,to turn into one in a million

„Dear colors,

Please don’t lose to this grey world. I don’t want to lose myself in this normal world so keep up being my hallucination. Remind me being crazy and different and that this world isn’t just tough it also can be colorful and filled with wonders even if it doesn’t seems so.

With love My hopeful self.“

That’s my only wish

Life isn’t easy but I try to see it in a different perspective

A crazy one with hallucinations and colors

Maybe I’m dreaming but If I do don’t wake me up

I’m crazy and that’s fine

It makes me special and not normal

I will save this lost color so I won’t turn grey

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Thoughts

The night passed by

I‘m sick of the silence

Sick of The Never ending torture

Invading my whole being

All thoughts drifting

As I close my eyes

Infecting all senses I hold dear

Memories replaced by silence

As I try to remember the noise of life

Dear silence what do you want?

Can’t you see that I’m on my knees?

Set my mind free and corrupt me

with noisy thoughts

Loud unbearable fantasies

Keeping me awake

Fighting this embracing silence

As I try to think

[anxious-nights]

“Last night, I had a dream. I was standing at the edge of a flimsy wooden boat, the black ocean surrounding me, in its depths, a whale sang beautifully. I felt drawn towards the world that was below me, and for the first time in my life, I felt as though I was home. There was a moment, I remember it so clearly, in which I thought, this is where I belong, not there, but here, maybe these creatures will understand me better.”

— R. Jacob (via r-jacob)

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“Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.”

— Ellen DeGeneres, Seriously… I’m Kidding