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Surprise Diagnosis: A Mental Health Update

Surprise Diagnosis: A Mental Health Update

I’ve got something on my mind, and I’m not quite sure how to go about sharing it with you all here.  You see, something happened and I kept it inside for 6 weeks.  I didn’t even tell my best friend or my husband, and I never, ever keep secrets from those two people.  I’m embarrassed… I’m ashamed… I’m scared of what it all means and how everyone will react and what they will think of me.  There’s…

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Facing Reality

Today has been a very trying day for me, and I need somewhere to release it all so here goes…  Last night, my best friend was rushed to the hospital via ambulance.  Her oxygen was dropping fast and she was dizzy.  We called 911 and they transported her to the local hospital, which unfortunately, does not allow ANY visitors due to COVID-19 requirements.  Once she was there, they ascertained that…

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The High Price of a Good Day

The High Price of a Good Day

I had three great days in a row!  My pain was almost non-existent and my mood and energy were pretty good, too.  Unfortunately, my autoimmune diseases decided to come back with a vengeance and I’m now lying in bed begging the Universe for some relief.  This is the sad reality for me and millions of other Americans that suffer and struggle with autoimmune disease and/or chronic illness.  We have…

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Still Grateful: My Very Late Update

Still Grateful: My Very Late Update

After taking a writing hiatus, I’m back with an update… well, kind of…  Honestly, I don’t have much of an update.  I have been in hiding from my doctors, avoiding tests and procedures and falling further and further into my depression.  My head has been in a dark place ever since my rheumatologist prescribed the Methotrexate for my Scleroderma.  Realizing that my diseases are progressing to a…

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Killing Me Slowly: A Rheumatology Update

Killing Me Slowly: A Rheumatology Update

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted an update, so I guess it’s time for one.  I’ve been quiet on here for a couple of weeks, but that’s really because of the Hell that my new medication has caused me.  My rheumatologist, Dr. Courtney, put me on Methotrexate, which is low-dose chemotherapy, about a month ago.  This medication has caused nothing but chaos for me since the very first dose.  To say…

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An Unexpected Good Day

An Unexpected Good Day

All too often, I get on this blog to whine, moan or complain, but today I have positive news for the first time in a very long time.  My methotrexate dose day was yesterday, and I’m feeling rather decent today.  I didn’t wake up with my usual amount of joint pain and inflammation, which is giving me a bit of hope that this medication is working properly.  I know that it may seem small to most…

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Dose Day Blues

I had my second dose of Methotrexate today, and I am questioning my decision because it has made me rather sick this time.  It didn’t kick in for the first several hours, but when it hit me it about knocked me down.  I’m nauseous and shaky.  I feel weak, like my legs aren’t strong enough to hold me up anymore.  I feel like I’m as fragile as a glass rose and the slightest bump might crack me into…

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Random Thoughts: My Weird Day

Random Thoughts: My Weird Day

I’ve had a weird day, and I need somewhere to process it all, so here goes.  It all started out with a very long night with little sleep, high pain and anxiety out the wazoo!  I tossed and turned and cried half the night, struggling with a crippling depression that was threatening to rip me away from my sanity.  Sleep finally found me around the time the Sun was coming up, but I only got a few…

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Medical Anxiety: Lab Day

Medical Anxiety: Lab Day

My medical calendar just got so full that it’s overwhelming me and I think I need to write it out.  Vent.  Rant.  Who knows, but I definitely need an outlet.  I had my first of several weekly lab appointments to draw my blood to monitor for damage caused by Methotrexate, the new medication that I am on for my Scleroderma.  I have severe, extreme medical anxiety and even the simplest of…

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The End of My Silence

The End of My Silence

There’s something that is on my mind and I think it’s high time I write about it.  Everybody knows that writing is my only outlet, so let me apologize in advance for anyone who might be offended by what I have to say.  I will not stay quietly uncomfortable in my life anymore just to keep the peace in my life.  I’ve stayed quiet with many issues that I have with more than one person, but this…

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Sick Forever: A Rheumatology Update

Sick Forever: A Rheumatology Update

I went to my rheumatology appointment yesterday, and I left the visit feeling very overwhelmed and rather upset, too.  Dr. Courtney went over all of my recent tests, labs, symptoms and quality of life since my last visit 6 months ago.  She became quite concerned while we were going over my symptoms and how bothersome they are becoming.  It was decided that we need to add an additional immune…

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My Torrid Autumn: 2021

My Torrid Autumn: 2021

My torrid autumn is rearing its ugly head early this year. Usually I have until November before she hits me, but this year the calendar matters not. She’s pumping my head and heart full of sadness and anxieties and other things I’d rather forget. She has no regret nor remorse for how her bitterness leaves me. This is our yearly dance and certainly is not new to me. This is life with bipolar…

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Life has gotten crazy lately, but I’m still trying to keep everyone updated on here.  It’s hard to keep up with my own life sometimes, let alone remembering to blog about it for my followers and family members on here!  Medically, I’m still a wreck and emotionally I’m even worse off.  My family has been dealt a lot of blows in the last month.  We’ve lost a few people to COVID-19 and others to…

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Emotional Overload

Like most of the world, I hate COVID-19 and this last month has been so full of COVID-19 crap that I’m about to spill over with it all.  My heart is very sad tonight as I sit here thinking about all that this virus has taken from us lately.  The whole world has been suffering and struggling with this pandemic, and my family has not been spared the heartache. I’ve got a friend who is more like…

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My Time to Whine

My Time to Whine

I need to whine a bit today, and since this is my blog, that is exactly what I’m going to do… you’ve been warned!  Ha!  So… my Interstitial Cystitis flare is back with a vengeance today.  Very rarely does my IC keep my up at night, but last night I was in a living Hell with it.  All night long I tossed and turned, waking up in constant pain all throughout the night.  My sleep was so terribly…

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Pharmacy Frustrations: A Vent Post

Pharmacy Frustrations: A Vent Post

After a year of letting my local Walmart Pharmacy treat me like crap, I finally left them.  It took a lot to get me to that point, but I finally got there.  My husband had been trying to order my pain medication through them for a week and a half.  At first they said it would be there Wednesday, so he called on Wednesday and was told that it would be there on Friday.  So, he called again on…

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My Other Chronic Illness: Bipolar Disorder

My Other Chronic Illness: Bipolar Disorder

Usually I limit my topics on this blog to those that are related to my autoimmune life.  Well… today the things that are bothering me aren’t necessarily medical but rather mental.  I’ve really been struggling with my Bipolar Disorder lately and I’m going to take the chance here and open up about some things that I don’t usually share with anyone, let alone the whole world.  Y’all don’t know how…