aprilthearcher
aprilthearcher
april!
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aprilthearcher · 6 months ago
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do you want me to DIE of sweetness???? i loved this, it's so cute!!
MEETING REMUS LUPIN𓂃 𓈒 ❀
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synopsis – after years in hogwarts being rejected by your everyone there for being too much, you meet remus lupin.
a/n – this is really long but please give it a try 😭
c/w – bullying
requested by @boromoony <3
angst. fluff
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the morning of september 1st, the sun was barely rising, but you were already dressed and ready to go with your hogwarts letter tightly in your hands. the excitement made it impossible to sleep at all last night. the moment albus dumbledore himself walked through your door months ago, your world changed forever. the words you’re a witch echoed in your mind constantly.
—all those strange things you’ve noticed about her, —dumbledore said, addressing your parents, —the lightbulbs bursting when she’s upset, how she always seems to know when someone’s at the door before they knock... those aren’t accidents. they’re signs of magic.
before dumbledore left that evening, he reached into his robes and pulled out a small stack of books and put them down on the table in front of you. —these, —he said with a twinkle in his eye, —are just a taste of what you’ll be learning at hogwarts.
you reached out hesitantly, your fingers brushing over the covers. magical drafts and potions, one thousand magical herbs and fungi, but it was the third book that completely caught your attention: fantastic beasts and where to find them by newt scamander.
—ah, that one’s a favorite of many, —he said. —the magical creatures of our world are both fascinating and, sometimes, a bit mischievous. that book should keep you entertained until term begins.
the moment you opened the book, you were hooked. the pages were filled with sketches, notes, and stories about creatures you never imagined could exist—bowtruckles, hippogriffs, nifflers... that night, you stayed up late, devouring every word about the beasts and their habitats. could hogwarts have any of these creatures? you flipped through the book again, your heart racing at the possibilities.
so when you stood on the platform 9 ¾, your heart was pounding so hard you thought it might burst and you balanced yourself on your feet out of excitement. newt scamander's book was under your arm, as a kind of lucky charm, during the summer you had memorized as much as you could about the creatures within and you couldn’t help but look at your future classmates, wondering what kind of magical creatures they might be fascinated by.
FIRST YEAR
when the sorting hat called your name and announced you as a slytherin, you didn’t know exactly what that meant, but you loved green, it reminded you of nature, of the forests and trees, and even the slithering snakes you had read so much about. you were so full of excitement, so eager to make friends, hogwarts felt like a fresh start.
you had always struggled with friendships before, feeling like you never quite fit in.
you laughed loud, shared everything on your mind, and tried your best to connect with the girls in your dormitory. you spent your days with them, following the girls around, chatting and laughing. well, they chatted and laughed, because every time you did, they’d look at each other, exchanging glances you couldn’t quite understand. the air would shift, like you had said something wrong, but you had no idea what it was.
you’d share something you thought was funny or interesting and they’d just stare at you, and then their voices would drop into low murmurs. maybe they were into other things like potions, herbology, or the history of magic, maybe they weren't interested in what you had to say about magical creatures.
during lessons, the girls were always so nice to you, especially when it was time for group projects, and you were so naive to even realize that they were just using you. they’d smile at you, pat your shoulder, and invite you to sit with them. it felt like a relief, like maybe you had misunderstood those looks and laughs but when the class ended, they'd leave without a second glance, their arms linked as if you had never been part of the conversation at all.
your first year at hogwarts ended in a bittersweet way. you loved the subjects, truly. you devoured every lesson, every spell, your grades were unmatched, if only broom flying had gone as smoothly, but even that felt like something you could improve with time. on the other hand, you felt the loneliness through the corridors and back to the slytherin dormitory. on the last day of term, the girls in talked about writing to one another over the summer.
but day after day, you checked and no letter came.
SECOND YEAR
the train ride to school felt heavier than the year before. as you walked through the corridors, searching for a compartment, the familiar laughter of your roommates caught your attention. and you sat with them and suddenly all the laughter stopped. not once did anyone ask what you did over the summer.
the more you tried to fit in, the more it felt like you were out of place. you tried to brush it off at first, thinking maybe when you appeared, you just interrupted them or spoken at the wrong moment. but after a while, it became clear that it wasn’t a coincidence. you realized you didn’t have to limit yourself to them. you could meet other people, even outside of slytherin so, you decided to try.
but things didn't go quite well. you overshared about your special interests, waiting for the other people to do the same, but it seemed that your excitement only pushed people further away. you'd dive into conversations eagerly, sharing everything you knew about magical creatures, but they’d blink at you, nod politely, or look for an excuse to leave.
you tried to blame yourself, maybe you were saying too much or maybe you weren’t asking the right questions. you started holding back, answering their questions in shorter sentences, nodding along but it didn’t change anything.
you discovered why no one wanted to be near you, the rumors that had spread far beyond your dormitory. twisted stories, each more absurd than the last—that you talked to yourself late at night, that you were a secret animagus, that you collected dangerous creatures and were plotting to release them in the castle. they made you sound lunatic, something to be avoided. for a moment, you considered fighting back, telling people the truth, but what was the point? you had learned long ago that the more you tried, the worse it became.
maybe there was something wrong with you. maybe you were too much, too strange, too difficult to be around. maybe you didn’t belong anywhere, no matter how hard you tried.
THIRD YEAR
by the third year you stopped trying. you didn’t hang out with them anymore, didn’t laugh too loudly or share too much about the things you loved.
you made a habit of leaving class last and the library became your refuge. you stayed there as long as you could, around books that didn’t judge you, didn’t whisper about you when your back was turned. you poured yourself into your studies and it gave you an excuse to stay out of your room instead of sitting silently on your bed, listening to your roommates complain about how much they hated sharing a room with you.
some of the teachers noticed something was off, but even the ones who suspected something was wrong assumed it was just teenage drama. girls will be girls, you heard professor mcgonagall say.
other teachers just assumed you liked studying. you volunteered for extra work, you stayed late to help clean up after lessons, your essays were always meticulously detailed. so they began giving you extra tasks—not as a punishment, but because they thought you enjoyed it. they called it encouraging your ambition, and you welcomed the work because it kept your mind occupied.
one day, you were sitting near the edge of the lake, your back pressed against a tree, a book about animagi on your legs. you spotted the book on the floor of your favorite section of the library. it wasn’t normal for books to be left lying about yet there it was, dropped by someone in a hurry or someone really careless. you wondered who might have been reading about animagi, a subject that complex.
you’d spent hours flipping through the pages when something small landed in your book. you blinked and looked down. a small twig had fallen from above, landing right between the pages. you reached out to brush it away, but a soft whine reached your ears and it moved.
the twig shuddered and let out another whine, this time a little louder. you stared at it, it wasn’t a twig, it was a tiny creature with thin body and tiny limbs trembling as it struggled to move. a bowtruckle. you gasped fascinated, recognizing the creature instantly from your books. you had read about them, studied their sketches in newt scamander’s book, but you had never seen one in real life. until now.
the little bowtruckle looked up at you with wide, beady eyes. you could see a faint crack along one of its delicate limbs, it was hurt.
—it’s okay, i’m not going to hurt you, —you whispered. carefully, you set the book aside and cupped your hands around it, creating a little shelter for it. it didn’t flinch or run away. —poor thing, —you murmured. you glanced around, you couldn’t see any other bowtruckles and you wondered how this one had ended up here. you pulled out your wand, thinking back to a section of fantastic beasts that described how to soothe and heal bowtruckles. you improvised, muttering a soft episkey and focusing on the tiny crack along its limb. the crack was gone. the bowtruckle blinked up at you, its expression almost... grateful. it climbed onto your finger, its tiny claws gripping your skin. for a moment, you just stared at it and it let you admired it. it felt like magic in its purest form. you stood carefully, and you gently lifted your hand, guiding the little creature back to its home. —here you go, —you whispered softly, holding your finger close to the tree. but instead of jumping, it clung to your finger and its tiny claws gripped your skin. it let out another faint whine, its small body trembling. you froze, unsure of what to do. its wide, dark eyes looked at you, and you could feel its fear. —you’re safe now. this is your tree, isn’t it? —it let out another tiny whimper, it wasn’t just hurt, you realized. it was scared. —do you not want to go back? —you asked softly, as if it could answer you. the bowtruckle gave a tiny shake of its head or at least, that’s what it looked like. —alright, —you said gently, your voice barely above a whisper. —you can stay with me for now.
and it stayed with you, not just for the rest of the day, but in a way that you never expected—forever.
you worried that it wouldn’t adjust to school life but, to your amazement, it adapted quickly. during classes, it would hide in your robe pocket or tucked against your sleeve. sometimes it would peek out to watch whatever you were doing. in herbology, its excitement was hard to contain. but potions was another story. the cauldrons’ fumes made it irritable, and once or twice, it sneezed and made your classmates glance around.
for the first time, you didn’t feel so alone.
FOURTH YEAR
through the glass door, you saw them—your roommates. the girls stood in the corridor, their heads tilted toward one another as they whispered and glanced inside. there weren’t many seats left on the train, and you knew they’d see your compartment as the last resort. the bowtruckle ran into your jacket pocket, and you instinctively placed a hand over the fabric to reassure it.
you heard them talk outside, do we really have to sit there? one of them whispered, i don't want to sit with her. a short, awkward silence followed, then, one of them said, the boys’ compartment isn’t full yet. let’s go there instead. and you let out all the air in your lungs, relieved. the bowtruckle jumped out of your jacket and stared through the window again. but all of a sudden, the door opened and two gryffindor boys stood there.
—hi, —one of them said. the bowtruckle ran scared inside your jacket again. —hi, —you answered back, caught off guard. the boy who spoke looked familiar, not someone you’d ever talked to, but someone you’d heard about. people whispered about him in the corridors, pointing him out as he passed. black, was his last name though you couldn’t recall his first name. beside him stood another boy, quieter, his expression neutral. you didn’t recognize him at all. —was that a bowtruckle? —he asked, his tone with curious. —no, —you replied immediately, your voice sharper than intended. you clutched the front of your jacket where it was hidden, your fingers tightening defensively. the boy raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced, as he leaned casually against the compartment door, his posture relaxed as if he had all the time in the world to coax the truth out of you. —i saw it, —he said again, his tone teasing but firm. —i don't know what you're talking about. the quieter boy next to him, with brown messy hair, face decorated with some silvery scars, and a book tucked under his arm, looked at his friend and gave a subtle shake of his head. —sirius, don’t, —he said softly, his voice calm carrying a note of exasperation. sirius shrugged, completely unbothered. —what, remus? i'm just being friendly, or maybe i have a thing for mysterious bowtruckle-less compartments, —he said, then he turned his attention back to you, tilting his head slightly. —don’t worry, i’m not going to tell anyone. i think it’s kind of cool, actually. —there’s nothing to tell, —you muttered. sirius nodded slowly. —okay, but if you happen to see a bowtruckle, let us know. we’re in the compartment over there. and just like that, sirius left. the quieter boy stood there, his gaze flickered to the stack of books next to you. he seemed hesitant, his hand halfway to pointing at them before he stopped and cleared his throat. —good books, —before you could say anything else, remus left, a faint flush coloring his cheeks. you couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed yourself, like you'd missed an opportunity to actually have a real conversation.
from that moment on, it seemed like something shifted. you’d catch glimpses of remus during breakfast, his shy gaze drifting over to the slytherin table where you always sat alone. at first, you thought it was just coincidence, but it kept happening. subtle moments where you’d look up, only to find his eyes already on you, before he’d quickly look away and distract himself with his toast or whatever book he was reading that day. it wasn’t mocking, like the looks from the girls in your dormitory. it was... different, quiet and curious.
during classes, you began to notice his presence more and more. sitting a few rows ahead in defense against the dark arts, in potions you’d glance across the room and see him stealing quick looks your way and once, during herbology, you caught him staring and when your eyes met, he quickly looked down at his gloves, pretending to busy himself with adjusting the cuffs.
the bowtruckle noticed too and it'd tug on a strand of your hair or nuzzle against your neck, as if sensing the strange mix of confusion and warmth. you were used to catching people’s attention, not for good reasons, it was usually the kind of attention that came with whispered jokes behind your back and judgmental stares but when he looked at you, it was soft and steady, as if he was trying to figure out a puzzle but didn’t want to rush it.
and that made you uncomfortable. not knowing what he was thinking left you second-guessing everything, was he like everyone else, taking his time before making a joke?
one day, as you walked out of your class, clutching your books to your chest, you heard his footsteps behind you. you stopped and turned to him, catching him off guard. the bowtruckle peeked out of your jacket pocket, but you pressed it lightly to keep him hidden.
—quit it, —you said, your words sharper than you intended. remus blinked, taken aback. —quit what? —the looks, —you said quickly, shifting your books in your arms. —you keep staring at me in class, at breakfast. it’s... —you trailed off, searching for the right word, —weird. —i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, —he said, his voice lowering slightly. you pressed your lips together, not knowing how to respond. he wasn’t defensive, he wasn’t laughing or rolling his eyes like the girls in your dormitory. instead, he seemed... sincere. and for some reason, that sincerity annoyed you more than if he’d just been another person to laugh at you. so you huffed and turned on your heel without another word. the bowtruckle peeked out from your pocket, its tiny head tilting, confused by your reaction. it tugged at your hair with a stubborn little click, his leafy fingers curling like he was scolding you.
even after your sharp words, remus couldn’t just look away. he noticed too much—too many little things that others ignored or pretended not to see. he noticed how those girls whispered behind their hands as you walked by, how they sweet-talked you into doing all the work, only to share smirks once they’d left you behind.
no one knows how, but somehow, remus convinced lily to sneak into your room and pour some of that infamous itchy powder into the girls’ beds. the next morning, the slytherin dorm was filled with chaos and the girls spent a couple of days in the hospital wing. for the first time, your room felt like a peaceful sanctuary. the bowtruckle, took full advantage of the empty space and at night, it curled up next to you on the pillow, chirping softly as if sharing secrets only you could understand. the chirps felt deliberate, like it was scolding you in its own quiet language. its tiny fingers tugged at strands of your hair, like it was trying to pull your thoughts into the right direction.
—i know, —you murmured. —i've been awful to him.
the bowtruckle gave a sharper chirp, almost triumphant, as if it had been waiting for you to admit it. the bowtruckle chattered again, softer this time, before curling up against your neck. it had been with you long enough to sense things—your unease, your fear, the way you flinched away from kindness like it was something dangerous. you weren’t used to people noticing you in a way that wasn’t cruel. but remus did. he saw you and you had been pushing him away
you exhaled slowly, —i'll try to be nicer next time.
and you did, you tried to be nicer. when you caught him looking at you in class, instead of just looking away, you pressed your lips together in a small smile, when he held the door open for you, instead of brushing past, you murmured a quiet thanks, even if your voice was barely above a whisper.
one night, you were alone in the library as the bowtruckle scurried up the bookshelf, its tiny claws clicking softly against the wood as it reached for the book you had pointed out earlier. it reached the spine of the book, tugging it out inch by inch until the book hit the floor, and it chirped triumphantly before coming back down and climbing into your pocket.
you picked up the book as you heard the faint creak of footsteps on the wooden floor. your heart jumped, and you froze. from around the corner of the shelf, remus appeared, his eyes slightly widened as they met yours.
—oh, —he said, clearly startled to see you. —sorry, i didn’t mean to interrupt. —you didn’t, —you said quickly, trying to sound casual even though your pulse was racing. remus chuckled softly, his laughter. he tilted his head toward the book in your hands, the title unmistakable: “the care and keeping of bowtruckles.” —you know, —he said, —if you’re trying to convince me you don’t have a bowtruckle, maybe carrying around that book isn’t your best defense. you noticed the book he was carrying: "the art of becoming an animagus." —that's dangerous, you know? remus glanced at the book in his hand and then back at you, the faintest trace of a smirk curling his lips. —and having a bowtruckle in your pocket isn’t? you raised an eyebrow. —bowtruckles aren’t illegal. animagi without proper registration, though? pretty sure the ministry has a field day with that. remus chuckled, holding the book up as if in surrender. —it’s just research. i'm not planning on becoming an animagi. you nodded and smirked, looking him up and down. —yeah, i know that. remus frowned. —what's that supposed to mean? —without answering, you simply passed by his side and left him standing there, puzzled.
and from that day on, remus didn’t just glance at you from afar anymore, he started to approach you.
whenever you crossed paths in the corridors, he’d give you a small wave or a warm hi. at first, it caught you off guard because you weren’t used to people greeting you so casually, especially someone like remus, always with his big group of friend who were kind of intimidating. sirius and james would raise an eyebrow at remus or smirk at him when they caught him slowing down in the corridor to greet you. it wasn’t the kind of attention you were used to. one day, you muttered to the little creature, why does he keep doing that?, and it just tilted its tiny head, its bright eyes blinking up at you as if to say, why not?
those waves gradually became more—small, quiet moments where remus would sit across from you at the library, or casually move to your spot during potions to ask you a question about the assignment.
in another occasion, you'd do everything you could to avoid it because you told yourself whatever he was doing, it couldn’t possibly be genuine. but now, you were trying to be different, kinder. so, you’d find yourself replying to his questions during class more often, even offering him advice on the potions he was brewing and when he appeared at the library, you let him sit across from you, even though there were plenty of other empty chairs around.
but doubts remained, people didn’t just decide to spend time with you. it was probably some kind of joke or a challenge his friends had come up with. you could almost hear it now: “bet you can’t get the quiet slytherin to talk to you.” maybe they were all waiting for him to come back with stories about how weird you were, ready to laugh behind your back like everyone else. that thought burned in your chest, making it harder to concentrate.
while everyone else was watching the quidditch match, you sat in the library, flipping through a book on herbology. these were the best moments, when the rest of the school was caught up in something else, and the library was left almost entirely to yourself. just as you turned the next page, you heard footsteps approaching, and remus appeared, carrying a cup of tea. —figured you’d been here, i don’t think you particularly enjoy quidditch, —he said, placing it gently on the table next to you. —thought you could use this. you stared at the cup, your stomach twisting. —why are you doing this? —you blurted out before you could stop yourself. remus looked genuinely confused. —doing what? —this, —you said, gesturing between the two of you. —the tea, the sitting with me, the… the talking. what do you want? his expression softened. —i don’t… want anything, —he said, his voice quiet but firm. —i just thought… well, you seemed like someone worth knowing. your heart clenched at the words, because they didn’t make sense. they couldn’t. you looked down and remus did too. —i think i should leave now. —wait, —the words left your mouth before you could stop them. —do you... want to stay? remus blinked, clearly not expecting that. there was a pause, and for a second, you thought you’d made a mistake, that he’d laugh or make an excuse to leave anyway. —oh, i mean, yeah. if you don’t mind. you swallowed, feeling that unfamiliar warmth in your chest again. —maybe you’d rather watch the match, —you added quickly, as if giving him an out. —that’s fine, really. remus shook his head, a soft smile pulling at the corner of his lips. —i’d rather stay.
after that day, you and remus started hanging out more, you’d catch him waiting for you after class, pretending he just happened to be heading the same way. during lunch, he'd move from the gryffindor table, claiming it was too loud, and sit beside you at the slytherin table, drawing a lot of curious glances.
your conversations grew longer. you’d talk about magical creatures, books you loved, spells you found fascinating and he’d listen, really listen. sometimes, in the middle of an excited rant about a rare magical creature, you’d catch yourself embarrassed by your own enthusiasm but he never seemed annoyed. instead, his expression would soften, confusion flickering in his face as if he couldn’t understand why you’d feel the need to apologize.
the bowtruckle would peek out from your pocket, growing bolder around him. you’d gently nudge it back down with your fingers whenever it got too brave, muttering under your breath, “not now,” or “stay hidden.” it would chirp softly in protest, tugging at the fabric with its tiny claws as if scolding you for keeping it a secret. remus never pushed. he’d occasionally glance at the faint movement in your pocket with a knowing smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, but he never asked.
you sat beside remus under the shade of a tree near the black lake, the exact same tree where you found your bowtruckle. —since we’re friends now, —you started, your voice barely above a whisper, the word friend felt strange in your mouth, —there’s… there’s someone i wanted to introduce you to. —someone? you nodded and looked inside your pocket. —it’s okay, —you whispered softly, your voice more tender than you realized. —you can come out. he’s not gonna hurt you. i… i trust him. it slowly poked his little head out of your pocket, eyeing remus cautiously from the safety of your robes. his dark eyes studied remus for a long moment, trying to figure out if the gryffindor boy could be trusted. —hey there, little guy, —remus murmured, his voice low and calm, offering him a finger so it could climb. it hesitated for a moment but after a beat, the little creature stepped onto his finger, its tiny claws gripping softly as it crawled up his hand. remus smiled. he didn’t pull away, his attention completely on the small creature. —it’s so nice meeting you finally, —he said softly, still looking at the small creature with genuine curiosity. his voice held that familiar kindness. you watched the exchange, feeling a strange sense of relief. it was a small thing, really, showing him the creature you’d kept hidden for so long, but it felt significant, like peeling back a layer of yourself. remus’s gentle reaction, the warmth in his smile as he greeted the bowtruckle like it was something precious, made your chest ache in a way you couldn’t quite explain.
each time you met remus and without fail, after greeting you with a casual, hey, he’d lower his voice just a fraction and add, hey there, little one. how’s it going? at first, it caught you off guard, not used to someone remembering small details, let alone treating them with care. the bowtruckle seemed to enjoy the attention. it'd poke its head out slightly, blinking up at remus with those curious eyes, sometimes chirping softly in response as if answering his question.
so after that, it seemed only fair that he’d return the gesture. he wanted you to meet his friends, not just in passing, not just as faces in the crowded hallways of hogwarts, but really meet them.
your bowtruckle was climbing up remus’s arm with ease, using the folds of his sweater like a ladder. it paused at his shoulder and darted into his hair, playing with his messy curls. you were both having a good time, playing with the little creature. remus cleared his throat and said, almost too casually, —i was thinking… maybe you’d like to meet my friends? —why? —you asked, your voice quieter than you intended. remus blinked, caught off guard, but then his face softened with a small smile, as if he’d expected you to respond that way. —i don’t know… i thought you might like to. they’ve been curious about you, and i think you’d get along. they’re… a lot, but they’re good people. you looked at him, meeting his gaze. —curious about me? remus chuckled, shaking his head. —not in a bad way. they just… they’ve noticed i spend time with you, and, well, they’re nosy. the bowtruckle ran from his hair to your shoulder and gave excited little hops on, its enthusiasm was undeniable, chirping softly as if voicing its own opinion on the matter, which, clearly, was a firm yes to meeting remus' friends. traitor, you muttered to it. —look, we’re hanging out tomorrow in the gryffindor common room, —he said, casually leaning back against the tree, like he hadn’t just invited you to meet his friends, which, in its own right, was an enormous step. —we’re gonna play some board games, talk… you’re welcome to come. no pressure. you picked at a loose thread on your sleeve, your thoughts tangled. you nodded slowly, —i'll think about it.
the next day arrived before you knew it and remus greeted you with a big smile, happy that you finally decided to join them. as you stepped into the common room, the atmosphere was warm, cozy, filled with an easy laughter that echoed off the walls. the bowtruckle nestled comfortably in your pocket, feeling more and more like a little cheerleader with each step you took into the room.
all eyes turned to you—three boys sitting around a table and the only girl, standing up eagerly with a wide grin. she had that spark of excitement in her eyes, and before you could fully process what was happening, she was already moving toward you.
her enthusiasm was infectious, and despite your nervousness, you couldn't help but feel a little lighter in her presence. she reached out to give you a hug, and you hugged her back. lily’s reminded you of the person you were when you first entered hogwarts. the way you were before the walls you’d built around yourself became solid. before the loneliness, the whispers and the isolation. seeing lily now, the way she embraced you so openly, without hesitation and any judgment, made you realize how much you'd changed.
sirius smirked as he leaned back in his chair, his eyes moved to you before narrowing with a mischief. the memory of that day on the train, when he'd caught a glimpse of you and your bowtruckle, seemed to still linger in his mind. he couldn't resist a bit of teasing, just to let you know that you were more than welcome in the group.
james shook your hand with that familiar, confident grin, and peter followed him, giving you a more nervous but warm handshake.
remus watched you from across the table and felt a wave of relief wash over him as he saw how easily you fit in with the group. the teasing from james and sirius had been lighthearted, playful—nothing malicious—and you handled it effortlessly, laughing along with them instead of retreating into your shell. it was a small victory in his mind.
you found yourself drawn into their orbit more often than you ever expected. it started with small things, lily casually saving you a seat in the library, peter waving you over in the great hall, james sharing his quidditch knowledge with you and sirius tossing playful remarks your way in the corridors. they had their own way of making space for you without demanding anything in return. they didn’t expect you to be louder, funnier, or different. they just… accepted you.
the bowtruckle adjusted too and it grew bold around the group, perching on sirius’s (who was completely fascinated by the creature) head when he wasn’t looking, sneaking sips from james’s pumpkin juice, and even nestling in lily’s hair once.
with remus, everything flowed easily. your hands would brush as you walked side by side through the corridors, he stopped sitting across from you and instead slid into the seat beside you and the space between you grew smaller, yet it never felt suffocating. it felt right, like the closeness had always been meant to happen, you were just catching up to it. when you laughed, he felt like the sun breaking through a cloudy sky, and your conversations deepened, no longer just about magical creatures or classwork but hopes, fears... and that's how he ended up telling you.
you were both curled up on the couch in the gryffindor common room, the warmth of the fire casting a soft glow around you. at this point, you spent more time there than in your own common room, and the gryffindors had grown used to the sight of your green robes among them. it was late, the marauders went to bed, leaving just you and remus, sitting in comfortable silence, the crackling of the fire filling the silence between you. but there was something unspoken. you could feel it—an unease in the way remus fidgeted slightly, in the way his lips parted as if to speak only to press together again and though he hadn’t said it yet, you already knew what he was struggling to tell you. —i have something to tell you. now that you're part of the group, i think you should… you should know something about me, why i sometimes disappear... —remus, —you said softly, not looking at him. —i know. he turned to you sharply, his expression freezing mid-thought. —you… you know? how? —his voice was almost a whisper, low and cautious, as if he feared the answer. his heart felt heavy inside his chest. he imagined this moment countless times, played it out in restless dreams and waking nightmares. in those versions, your face twisted in fear, your steps quick as you turned to leave, your voice sharp with rejection. he’d wake up with a cold sweat, heart pounding, the taste of dread bitter on his tongue. —your scars, —you murmured, —i’ve been studying magical creatures for years. i know how werewolf scars look. there was a pause before he spoke again. —aren't you scared of me? you shook your head. —i’ve been afraid of people for most of my life. but not you. not ever you. —i’ve had nightmares about this, you know? —he admitted suddenly, the confession slipping out before he could stop it. —about telling you. i thought… i thought it’d be the end of everything. you shook your head again, a small smile in your lips. slowly, you moved your hand across the couch until your fingers brushed against his, then gently curled around them. his hand was tense, but he didn’t pull away. —it’s not the end of anything, —you whispered. —not even close.
EXTRA - FIRST KISS
christmas came, and the idea of going back home crossed your mind but then remus mentioned that he was staying at hogwarts over the holidays. the other marauders were all going home, and though he had brushed it off with a casual smile, you could see the truth behind it, he would be alone.
before leaving, james and sirius had cornered remus in the gryffindor common room, arms crossed and identical smirks plastered on their faces. —so, —james said, —you and her are staying for christmas? alone? —how scandalous, —sirius added. remus sighed, rubbing his temples. —it’s not like that. —sure it isn’t, —sirius teased. —mate, you can’t tell me this doesn’t mean anything. you’ve been pining for months, and now you get hogwarts all to yourselves? it’s practically a fairy tale. james grinned. —just don’t forget to thank us in your wedding speech.
remus didn’t remember a better christmas. every day, you woke up a little later than usual and you'd go to the gryffindor common room, where you waited for him, your heart light with anticipation. you shared breakfast and then you'd both rush out into the snow, the cold air crisp on your skin. you'd play throwing snowballs, laughing as the flakes danced around you.
you’d walk hand in hand to hogsmeade, enjoying the quiet of the village while the snow continued to fall gently, almost like magic itself. even one day during the holidays, remus followed you into the slytherin common room for the first time and you couldn't help but laugh at his face when he saw that it was nothing like gryffindor's.
one evening, you were searching in the gryffindor common room for your mischievous bowtruckle. it loved the common room and to hide in it, and its love for mischief often drove you crazy. after scanning the room, you finally spotted it, hanging above you and remus’ heads. a tiny red bow was tied to one of its arms. —for merlin's bear! —you called out, exasperated. —what are you doing up there? come down! you're gonna hurt yourself! remus hummed, the bowtruckle with the red bow reminded him of something. it chirped loudly, as if to say, no way, and made no move to obey you. you sighed while remus finally recalled what the bowtruckle looked like. —i think, hmm... it's playing to be a mistletoe. the bowtruckle chirped again, giving remus the right. your eyes opened wide. remus cleared his throat, his voice low and slightly hesitant as he spoke. —well, i suppose... we don’t have much of a choice, do we? your heart skipped a beat as you shook your head to his question and before you could overthink it, you stepped a little closer to him. you stood face to face for a few seconds as remus's hand brushed gently against your cheek and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear. he seemed to hesitate for a second, searching your face as though waiting for permission, for you to say something or do something. but you didn’t need to say anything. in that moment, he closed the distance between you both, his lips brushing yours gently. it was soft, hesitant at first, but it was everything you’d been feeling since the first time you met him, all the small, quiet moments, the shared glances, the laughter, it all came to this shy kiss, and as he pulled away, your heart was already racing. you both awkwardly laughed as the bowtruckle let itself fall from its perch, landing softly on your shoulder. it gave a satisfied chirp, as if pleased with its dramatic entrance. the little creature let the strand of hair that remus had tucked behind your ear to fall right back in front of your face again and it chirped, as if telling remus to do it again and kiss you one more time. you laughed, taking the bowtruckle off your shoulder and keeping him in your pocket while remus pushed your hair out of your face again.
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aprilthearcher · 7 months ago
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forgot to mention reader is into tarot because lately i’ve started to study it and it’s HIGHLY interesting
covered in you
harry potter x slytherin!fem!reader ― Harry doesn't know it yet, but the crush he has on a certain Slytherin Chaser is reciprocated.
part 2 of replaying your laughter.
slightly inspired by 'ivy' by Taylor Swift. the first part was through Harry's POV, this one is from the reader (1st person). if you enjoyed this 2nd part, you can always like, reblog, or write a comment!
word count: 3k
#masterlist!
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His eyes are the same colour as my tie and it feels like a punch to the throat every single time that I’m reminded of it, which occurs any time he’s mentioned. Unfortunately, that happens more often than not – even in the Common Room of the house that proudly swears to hate him. 
Though I was determined to forget him, I can't help myself from watching him sitting with his friends who brandish the same deep and vibrant colour on their robes, laughing at their jokes, smiling kindly – and awkwardly – at the kid with the camera and toothy grin. Though I was determined to forget him, my mind refuses to stop showing me his face every time I close my eyes at night. Though I have resolved that I must forget him, it is hard to do so when his presence haunts my dreams. 
He’s ruining my life. The image of him, his smile, his eyes, his voice, all creep into my head, covering what is deemed unimportant – almost anything that isn’t him – like an ivy climbing over a stone wall, trapping me to the point where it is suffocating. But the worst part is he doesn’t even know.
Peeling my eyes away from his back (it is a shame he didn’t sit on the other side of the Gryffindor table), I catch Luna’s eyes. I smile at her and raise a hand as a greeting. She mirrors my action, though more enthusiastically, and the scarlet and golden flecks of the lion hat she’s wearing move from one side to the other. I giggle at her creation, remembering how she came up to me a few days ago explaining how she would support Gryffindor at the upcoming match.
“I just thought it’d be nice to tell you. I don’t want you to feel bad because of me,” she had said while we were on our way to our first class of the day.
“Luna, you could never make me feel bad,” I had answered, truth embellishing every word. “But, I do expect you to support Slytherin when we play against Hufflepuff.”
A pair of tender eyes suddenly grew curious about Luna's actions, following her line of vision by turning his head and finding me. Our eyes meet for a brief second, but I look away, going back to eating my toast and remembering the plays that Urquhart had prepared for today’s match. For a moment, my mind tricked me into believing I saw what resembled a smile on his face. It couldn’t have been. 
The walk-back to the castle after the match and that conversation felt surreal. There was a massive and unforeseen flock of emotions that seemed to want to rip up my body, especially my mind by how fast it was racing. I was angry for the lost, conflicted because of the fight with Urquhart, surprised by my own magic after making him fly away several paces, irritated at the fact that I had to face Snape tomorrow for a detention that I didn’t deserve, confused as to why had Harry Potter even approached us; and just utterly elated. 
For some reason, Harry had seen it fit to come near us – me? No, it couldn’t be. I was already spiraling –. For some reason, he’d called me a great Chaser. Not good, but great. Could it be…? No, I was going further down the rabbit hole. He was being nice, because that was who he was. Harry Potter was nice – and charming, and funny, and heroic, although Snape had only said it to mock him –, therefore, it was simply because of him being such a good person that he would compliment my skills as a Chaser. 
That night, a single question kept me from resting. No matter how sore my muscles were from the match, how tired I was of simply thinking, I didn’t sleep a wink. It kept me up all night, and even when the sun was already rising, my mind insisted on repeating it.
Could it be? 
It had taken an insane amount of willpower to not yawn in front of Professor Snape while we – he – discussed the terms of my detention, though the bags under my eyes did little to take away the attention from the fact that I hadn’t slept at all. The whole time I was thinking about how Harry Potter was really ruining my life, because I didn’t know how I would manage to go through all of my classes after spending the night thinking about him. 
I was leaving Snape’s office with my bag, a stomach ready to devour breakfast, and a two-week more or less decent detention on my back, when he called me. Salazar, if he’s thinking about adding up a week…
“That display of wandless magic was… quite efficient.” Were my ears deceiving me? “Never use it against your Slytherin peers again.”
Should I use it against Gryffindors, then? The remark died in my throat. I did not want more detention. I accepted whatever sort of compliment – because Snape didn’t use the word efficient, even less with a quite in front, offhandedly – was that and left the room, not without uttering a ‘thank you’ and ‘of course, Professor, it won’t happen again’. 
My pace, and my mind, were a little lighter as I made my way to the Great Hall. A small smile settles on my face, proud of myself and my magic, as I walk towards my usual place at the Slytherin table. Most students have already had breakfast, making the long table not as crowded, and that is why Harry Potter decides, on a whim, to approach it quickly with a half-eaten toast in his hand and crumbles scattered across his robes. 
For one or two seconds, I stare at him – it seems to be all I do these days –. 
For two or three seconds, he stares at me, surprised, perhaps, that he’s even here. 
“How did your conversation with Snape go?” Why was he asking me that? Before I can answer, though, he appears to have realised something because it is all stretched out on his face. “Sorry- Hi, good morning. How did your conversation with Snape go?”
A laugh wants to escape my mouth, but I don’t let it in case Harry thinks it’s because I’m laughing at him. Instead, I remind myself to breathe and act cool, or at least casual. 
“Morning.” I didn’t think it’d be this hard but the kind expression he has on his face stuns me for a moment. “Well- it, it went well. I’ll have to help Madam Prince at the library for two weeks, but I don’t mind it too much. I like it there.”
“I know.” His response, too quick to his liking depending on his widened eyes, causes a giddy feeling to spread through my body. “I- I meant… I’ve seen you there… only when I go with Hermione, from time to time.”
I nod, choosing not to say anything that would spur the redness that has overtaken his cheeks and neck. Instead, I mention something else. “He called my wandless magic ‘quite efficient’, as well.”
“Did he? Wow, you must be his favourite for saying something that sounds so much like a compliment.” I laugh at Harry’s response, closing my eyes and missing the way his are twinkling. “I think he basically called you gifted.”
Suddenly, Luna is right beside Harry, a beam on her face as she sees our interaction. “Quibbler?” She asks us. I nod at the same time I grab a toast from the table. “This one includes a section on different Tarot readings and spreads, (Y/N).”
“Nice! Thank you, Luna.”
“No problem,” Luna whispers. Now, looking up at Harry, she furrows her eyebrows. “What happened to you, Harry? Your face and neck are all red.” My lips are etched on a sheepish smile on my face, and my heart beats just a tiny beat faster at the prospect that I could be the cause of his blush.
The next time I see Harry, he doesn’t actually see me, and it’s not like I’ve planned it so it doesn’t count as spying or stalking. I had been sitting on the crook of one of the many archways that the castle had to offer, reading a muggle book that I’d brought from home, when I heard three different sets of footsteps, each accompanying a different voice. From the sound of it, they had stopped a few metres away from me, and based on the fact that they started talking about me, I assumed the big column blocked me from their view.
“Why are you suddenly friends with that Slytherin?” Ron had asked, his face set on a scowl from the way his voice sounded.
“I think she is… nice, and kind… and friendly.”
“Friendly? Harry, she’s a Slytherin! She cannot be friendly! None of them are.” Ron’s words would have hurt me in First Year. Now, I had learned to ignore whatever people had to say about my house. It’s not as if he didn’t have a reason, though. Unfortunately, the ones that were not nice were also the loudest, making themselves look big and threatening by spitting insults, and, in the process, giving the rest of us a bad reputation. Moreover, the fact that He Who Must Not Be Named once brandished the same colours didn’t help. “Is this… some kind of plan to find out whatever you think Malfoy is up to?”
My eyebrows furrowed instantly after hearing Ron’s question. My heart, instead, trembled, getting closer to breaking apart while my mind began to come up with doubts, ‘I told you so’s’, and inquiries. 
Had Harry truly approached me only because he thought he’d get information about Malfoy from me? I wasn’t even friends with that arsehole! And speaking of him, did Harry believe he was planning something? I mean, sure, he was acting stranger than usual, but at the end of the day, it was Malfoy we were talking about here! He’s always scheming and he’s prone to acting weirdly. I could try to pry something from Zabini… Nah, that would never work out.
“No! No! I- I hadn’t even thought of that…” In the middle of my mental war, I heard Harry’s answer, catching myself almost too late to sigh in relief. They couldn’t know I was listening in to their conversation. That would surely make me more suspicious in Ron’s eyes. “She’s…”
Silence passed between the trio while Ron and Hermione waited for Harry to finish his sentence.
“Well, she’s Luna’s friend. And I trust Luna, so I trust her.” A smile grew on my face.
“Trust is a big word for a Slytherin.” The smile almost, almost, faltered. 
“You know what, Ron? I think you’d actually be good friends if you gave her a chance.” This was Hermione’s first contribution to the discussion, which surprised me quite a bit. I knew my housemates hadn’t been exactly friendly towards her, especially Malfoy and his gang of illiterate fools, so the fact that she would defend me in some way shocked me. 
“Sure, we’d be best mates.” I could picture Ron’s disgusted face perfectly on my head. I giggled quietly at it. It was a shame, we would make good friends.
Sipping my drink quietly, I looked at the different faces round the wooden table. Sitting idly between Professor Slughorn and Zabini, I avoided Marcus Belby devouring his food by locking eyes with Hermione. Her face almost made me cackle, Zabini’s wasn’t helping my case either. Sitting on the other side of Slughorn was Cormac McLaggen, the most obnoxious Gryffindor I had ever met, sending furtive glances towards Hermione. Salazar, I’d never want to be in her place. Neville Longbottom, seemingly just enjoying the fact that he had been invited, and Harry stood on each side of her. I forced myself not to stare at Harry – or at least, not so much as usual. The twins I had encountered a few times, though I had to avoid them daily because their stares and questions creeped me out; but I’d never seen the boy beside Harry. Only one was missing, Ginny Weasley. 
I jump at Slughorn’s sudden call of my name. “I hear you’ve got a business going on. Tarot readings, isn't it?”
My ‘business’, as Professor Slughorn called it, was always supposed to be secret. Particularly, because I had never bothered to check if it was permitted for a student to offer such ‘services’ at Hogwarts. I guess the mortified look on my face amused Professor Slughorn enough to laugh soundly. “Oh, do not fret, Miss. No one will expel you for that. But do tell me, are you thinking of doing it professionally?”
“Well -” Usually, I was not the shy kind, but I knew that if I moved my eyes towards the other side of the table, I’d see Harry looking at me because I could feel his green eyes observing me. Also, I felt the need to impress Professor Slughorn. He was a great teacher in my eyes, I enjoyed his classes, and he had good connections in the Wizarding World. “In a sense, I think I’d like to do it professionally, maybe even try my luck in the muggle world. But, I’ve always wanted to explore other branches of Divination, maybe even research them in depth.”
“You said something about the muggle world, muggles are aware of these practices, aren’t they?”
“Yes, they are, sir. It was actually my muggle grandmother who taught me how to read the cards.”
Professor Slughorn hummed content. Pleased with my answer and his nod of approval, I let myself relax and smile. “That is certainly interesting, Miss. When I’m no longer your teacher, I shall ask for a reading for myself. What do you think, Mister Potter? Do you think we can predict the future?”
Finally, I looked up, linking my eyes with his. He had already been gazing at me, his green eyes fixing on mine the moment I moved my head towards him. 
“Well, only if the person predicting the future is an exceptionally gifted witch or wizard, sir.” There was a boyish beam on his face that pushed me to grin back at him.
Slughorn’s Christmas party looked more promising than I was expecting it to be. Perhaps it was due to the lavishly decorated room, the music playing in the background, and the never-ending incoming of trays filled with food. The guests who weren’t classmates were also interesting. It was hard sometimes to imagine a life outside of Hogwarts, especially with a war brewing, but seeing all these witches and wizards gave me a sense of comfort. 
I start roaming around the room alone a few minutes after I arrive. It had been some sort of beneficial agreement for both me and my date. Neither of us would've wanted to show up at this party alone – I knew it even if he hadn’t necessarily told me so –, but we didn’t tolerate each other enough to spend the night attached to the hip. 
It’s not as if I’m searching the room for him specifically, still I flinch a bit when I find him on the other side of Slughorn’s office. He hasn’t seen me, so I take this small moment to compose myself and to think of my next move, playing with the purple heart-shaped pendant that matches the deep hues of my long dress. The fabric is rich in colours and the tiny rocks that are sewn into the bodice seem to reflect the warm light that illuminates the room. 
Taking a deep breath, I let my eyes wander across the room once more, looking at everything except at where he is. A handful of guests are chatting with each other, some are hoarding the food, and others are just arriving. Finally, our eyes meet for the first time tonight. He appears to have forgotten the fact that he was just talking with someone because he starts moving towards me without even saying anything to the guest he’d been entertaining. In the middle of his walk, as a greeting, he raises his right hand, which stays for barely one or two seconds hovering over his heart when he’s putting it down. 
When he reaches me, alone in one of the corners, I can only describe the expression on his face as dumbfounded. He struggles to keep his eyes set on my face and not let them scan the way this dress is hugging my body. “H-Hi!” His excitement is heard through his voice. Also his nervousness. “You- you look…” His mouth opens and closes, and I giggle at the way he reminds so much of a fish right now. “You look… Godric, beautiful doesn’t do you any justice.” He whispers this as if he hadn’t wanted me to hear, but I do.
I want to scream. I want to start dancing around the room. I want to cry. I want to grab his face and kiss him until we’re both suffocating. I don’t do any of those things.
“Who, um, who did you come with?” He asks.
“Seeing as someone asked Luna before I got the chance, I had to resort to other… options.” My eyes settle on Zabini, chatting up a guest across the room.
Harry laughs sheepishly, “Right, sorry. It was either Luna or one girl who wanted to give me a love potion.”
“Oh! Then I’m glad you got to Luna first.”
There’s a moment of silence that, surprisingly, does not feel awkward. 
“I, uh, I was about to ask you, actually, but,” Harry turns his face towards me and I see him gulp “I didn’t know if you would’ve been up to it.”
I look at him, gazing at him in this warm-lighted room makes my head dizzy. His black robe is elegant and fitting, and there is something, just something, that seems to be calling me to run my fingers through his hair. But I control my urges and save myself the embarrassment. 
“I would’ve.”
“That’s good to know.”
Two weeks after, I find myself having a laugh over a butterbeer in the Three Broomsticks with Harry Potter. My cheeks hurting from smiling so much and my stomach flipping because of something that I know has nothing to do with my drink, I choose to ignore the nasty feeling in my gut warning me about how this might not last long. Whatever time I can spend with him, I’ll take it.
thank you for reading!
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aprilthearcher · 7 months ago
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2nd part is already out! >> covered in you
replaying your laughter
harry potter x slytherin!fem!reader ― Harry has a crush on a Slytherin, which could collapse the entire school, but he doesn't seem to care much.
slightly inspired by 'message in a bottle' by taylor swift. there could be a second part if anyone's interested in it. don't forget to like, or reblog, or leave a comment! those are always appreaciated.
word count: 1.4k
part two (covered in you)
#masterlist!
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Harry was sure that half – maybe even more than half – of Gryffindors House would never forgive him for having a crush on a Slytherin. Yet, Harry couldn’t really bring himself to care. The lot of them had called him a liar just last year, and none of them, friends or not, had the right to tell him who was appropriate enough or not to go on a date with. 
It was hard not to miss her when she was one of the few Slytherins in Harry’s year who had never insulted him nor any of his friends. As a half-blood, she didn’t care about ‘blood traitors’ or muggleborns nor was she a member of Malfoy’s gang. Also, the fact that she was best friends with Luna Lovegood made her trustworthy in Harry’s eyes. 
Although they had shared many classes during their years at Hogwarts, Harry didn’t know when he’d started to feel this way towards her. Had it been during their third year, after he’d seen her yell curses at Marcus Flint because he didn’t want girls in the Slytherin Quidditch Team? Had it been during their fourth year, after he saw her in an elegant, deep blue gown at the Yule Ball dancing with a Ravenclaw a year older than them? Had it been during their fifth year, after he’d seen her comfort two first years from Slytherin and Hufflepuff that had spent their afternoon in Umbridge’s office? Had these feelings been there since he’d met her on the train in their first year after she couldn’t find her older sister? 
Has he always been so clueless? 
Now, despite the fact that this recently discovered crush made Harry’s heart almost burst out of his chest any time he’d see her – whether in real life or in his dreams –, it didn’t mean that he would easily hand the victory to Slytherin in the match they were about to play. 
Standing face to face with Urquhart, Slytherin’s new Quidditch Captain, Harry tried to avoid her eyes and how imposing she looked dressed in the deepest hue of emerald green. Still, when Madame Hooch blew the whistle, Harry couldn’t help but raise his head in her direction. Her eyes quickly settled on his, and Harry almost punched himself for being the first one to look away. 
Up in the sky, a hand on his broom keeping him steady, he thought he’d have a moment of peace from her. But, in his defence, flying round the pitch looking for the snitch and making sure that his team was playing well eventually led him to find the force of nature that was her on top of a broom. Watching the speed at which she flew, Harry was somewhat relieved that she had never intended to become a Seeker. Yet, as magnificent as she was with a Quaffle in her hands, Ron’s confidence that there was Liquid Luck running through his system managed to block all of the shots she’d thrown at him. Anyone could tell from the look on her face and her stance on her broom that she wanted to rip off Ron’s head, probably use it to mark a few points as well. Her kindness, Harry realised then, did not make her less of a competitive hothead.
The match finished with the snitch in Harry’s hands, granting yet another win to Gryffindor. A smile on his face, he let his eyes trail over his team, each with a grin on their faces as big as his. He saw Ron lifting both of his arms, celebrating with the scarlet and gold crowd, and Ginny dive-bombing into the podium from where Zacharias Smith had been calling the match. 
Harry looked for her once more, finding her already on the ground with the rest of the Slytherin Quidditch Team. He’d started descending when he saw what seemed to be a fight between her and Urquhart. The Slytherin Quidditch Team had a finger pointed to her chest, which she quickly dismissed with a jab of her hand and a hissed that Harry got to hear as a ‘Don’t fucking touch me’. This infuriated Urquhart more, making him get closer to her face, but with only a stamp of her foot, she sent him flying backwards. 
Madame Hooch’s whistle blew loudly across the pitch, and the crowd finally caught on what was happening. Harry saw them go from celebrating, or sulking in the case of the silver and green sea of people, to whispering excitedly about the tussle. Urquhart was now marching in her direction, though Harry noticed some hesitation on his pace when the determination settled on her face. He had known, not that Harry spent a lot of time observing her, that she was very capable at wandless magic. In Urquhart’s case, he was always ready to start a brawl, yet he never saw through; opting, instead, to play it cool when he realised that he wouldn’t come out triumphant. 
Because of some kind of instinct, Harry drew closer to the Slytherin Quidditch Team, standing a few paces behind her. Zabini observed him, his eyes were narrowed and his arms were crossed; it was clear he wasn’t there to stop his teammates from fighting each other. Suddenly, Snape stood between Urquhart and (Y/N). His face was rougher than usual and with only a few words he sent the Slytherin Captain back to the castle. Then, Snape turned to them, raising his eyebrows at the sight of Harry.
“Potter, shouldn’t you be celebrating?” Said Snape. The mere mention of the word ‘celebrating’ added a layer of disgust to his face. “Or is it that you cannot bear that the attention is not on you?”
Before answering, he looked at her. She had glanced back at him at the mention of his name, clearly surprised that he was here. Their eyes met for a brief second, one in which Harry noted the colour of his eyes was similar to that of her robes. 
“I was only making sure that none of the players of your house got hurt. Seeing as Malfoy wasn’t here to play today, to get yet another replacement would surely affect the team.”
“How… heroic. Always ready to save the day, Potter.” Harry smiled sarcastically at Snape’s comment. “Miss, I expect to see you at my office tomorrow morning. We will discuss your detention.”
“Detention? Urquhart was the one to start the fight. He was the one yelling at me and getting all over my face.” Harry was certain that weren’t for the fact that Snape was a professor and the Head of her House, he would have suffered the same fate as Urquhart, thrown back across the pitch. He stopped himself from laughing at the mental picture of that. 
“It’s not up to discussion, but if you keep complaining you will do a month of detention rather than two weeks.” With her silence and the matter already settled, Snape started walking towards the castle, Zabini and the rest followed him.
Now that the two of them were alone, Harry didn’t know what to say. The bleachers were emptying, some members of his team had already left the pitch. 
“Um, thanks for that, I guess,” she mumbled. It seemed she didn’t know what to say either. 
“Uh, yeah, no problem.”
There was another moment of silence where both of them avoided each other’s gaze, looking at their shoes or the brown gloves on their hands.
“What did- What did Urquhart say to you?” Harry asked. He was curious, but he also wanted to keep talking to her. 
“He basically blamed the loss on me, saying I wasn’t fast enough or my aim was off, which could be true, but it’s not as if the rest of the team got the same. He said it to me because I’m the only girl, so…”
“So he’s a prick and no better than Flint.”
She laughed at that, softly and probably reminiscing that time she cursed him for not wanting to put her on the team. Harry swore that if he could hear that laugh play in the back of his mind forever, he wouldn’t need anything else. It would be her laugh that’d spurred him on. He thought about running to Dumbledore’s office and using the pensieve to replay this moment over and over again.
“Yeah, at least Montague would yell at all of us.” She mentioned while beginning to play with the strap on her gloves. “Anyways, I think it’s time for me to get back, and you have a win to celebrate.”
“Yeah, yeah, I do. But, um, you played well today. You’re a great Chaser.”
She whispered a small ‘thanks’, biting her lower lip in an attempt to contain the grin that was about to erupt in her face. 
thank you for reading!
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aprilthearcher · 7 months ago
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covered in you
harry potter x slytherin!fem!reader ― Harry doesn't know it yet, but the crush he has on a certain Slytherin Chaser is reciprocated.
part 2 of replaying your laughter.
slightly inspired by 'ivy' by Taylor Swift. the first part was through Harry's POV, this one is from the reader (1st person). if you enjoyed this 2nd part, you can always like, reblog, or write a comment!
word count: 3k
#masterlist!
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His eyes are the same colour as my tie and it feels like a punch to the throat every single time that I’m reminded of it, which occurs any time he’s mentioned. Unfortunately, that happens more often than not – even in the Common Room of the house that proudly swears to hate him. 
Though I was determined to forget him, I can't help myself from watching him sitting with his friends who brandish the same deep and vibrant colour on their robes, laughing at their jokes, smiling kindly – and awkwardly – at the kid with the camera and toothy grin. Though I was determined to forget him, my mind refuses to stop showing me his face every time I close my eyes at night. Though I have resolved that I must forget him, it is hard to do so when his presence haunts my dreams. 
He’s ruining my life. The image of him, his smile, his eyes, his voice, all creep into my head, covering what is deemed unimportant – almost anything that isn’t him – like an ivy climbing over a stone wall, trapping me to the point where it is suffocating. But the worst part is he doesn’t even know.
Peeling my eyes away from his back (it is a shame he didn’t sit on the other side of the Gryffindor table), I catch Luna’s eyes. I smile at her and raise a hand as a greeting. She mirrors my action, though more enthusiastically, and the scarlet and golden flecks of the lion hat she’s wearing move from one side to the other. I giggle at her creation, remembering how she came up to me a few days ago explaining how she would support Gryffindor at the upcoming match.
“I just thought it’d be nice to tell you. I don’t want you to feel bad because of me,” she had said while we were on our way to our first class of the day.
“Luna, you could never make me feel bad,” I had answered, truth embellishing every word. “But, I do expect you to support Slytherin when we play against Hufflepuff.”
A pair of tender eyes suddenly grew curious about Luna's actions, following her line of vision by turning his head and finding me. Our eyes meet for a brief second, but I look away, going back to eating my toast and remembering the plays that Urquhart had prepared for today’s match. For a moment, my mind tricked me into believing I saw what resembled a smile on his face. It couldn’t have been. 
The walk-back to the castle after the match and that conversation felt surreal. There was a massive and unforeseen flock of emotions that seemed to want to rip up my body, especially my mind by how fast it was racing. I was angry for the lost, conflicted because of the fight with Urquhart, surprised by my own magic after making him fly away several paces, irritated at the fact that I had to face Snape tomorrow for a detention that I didn’t deserve, confused as to why had Harry Potter even approached us; and just utterly elated. 
For some reason, Harry had seen it fit to come near us – me? No, it couldn’t be. I was already spiraling –. For some reason, he’d called me a great Chaser. Not good, but great. Could it be…? No, I was going further down the rabbit hole. He was being nice, because that was who he was. Harry Potter was nice – and charming, and funny, and heroic, although Snape had only said it to mock him –, therefore, it was simply because of him being such a good person that he would compliment my skills as a Chaser. 
That night, a single question kept me from resting. No matter how sore my muscles were from the match, how tired I was of simply thinking, I didn’t sleep a wink. It kept me up all night, and even when the sun was already rising, my mind insisted on repeating it.
Could it be? 
It had taken an insane amount of willpower to not yawn in front of Professor Snape while we – he – discussed the terms of my detention, though the bags under my eyes did little to take away the attention from the fact that I hadn’t slept at all. The whole time I was thinking about how Harry Potter was really ruining my life, because I didn’t know how I would manage to go through all of my classes after spending the night thinking about him. 
I was leaving Snape’s office with my bag, a stomach ready to devour breakfast, and a two-week more or less decent detention on my back, when he called me. Salazar, if he’s thinking about adding up a week…
“That display of wandless magic was… quite efficient.” Were my ears deceiving me? “Never use it against your Slytherin peers again.”
Should I use it against Gryffindors, then? The remark died in my throat. I did not want more detention. I accepted whatever sort of compliment – because Snape didn’t use the word efficient, even less with a quite in front, offhandedly – was that and left the room, not without uttering a ‘thank you’ and ‘of course, Professor, it won’t happen again’. 
My pace, and my mind, were a little lighter as I made my way to the Great Hall. A small smile settles on my face, proud of myself and my magic, as I walk towards my usual place at the Slytherin table. Most students have already had breakfast, making the long table not as crowded, and that is why Harry Potter decides, on a whim, to approach it quickly with a half-eaten toast in his hand and crumbles scattered across his robes. 
For one or two seconds, I stare at him – it seems to be all I do these days –. 
For two or three seconds, he stares at me, surprised, perhaps, that he’s even here. 
“How did your conversation with Snape go?” Why was he asking me that? Before I can answer, though, he appears to have realised something because it is all stretched out on his face. “Sorry- Hi, good morning. How did your conversation with Snape go?”
A laugh wants to escape my mouth, but I don’t let it in case Harry thinks it’s because I’m laughing at him. Instead, I remind myself to breathe and act cool, or at least casual. 
“Morning.” I didn’t think it’d be this hard but the kind expression he has on his face stuns me for a moment. “Well- it, it went well. I’ll have to help Madam Prince at the library for two weeks, but I don’t mind it too much. I like it there.”
“I know.” His response, too quick to his liking depending on his widened eyes, causes a giddy feeling to spread through my body. “I- I meant… I’ve seen you there… only when I go with Hermione, from time to time.”
I nod, choosing not to say anything that would spur the redness that has overtaken his cheeks and neck. Instead, I mention something else. “He called my wandless magic ‘quite efficient’, as well.”
“Did he? Wow, you must be his favourite for saying something that sounds so much like a compliment.” I laugh at Harry’s response, closing my eyes and missing the way his are twinkling. “I think he basically called you gifted.”
Suddenly, Luna is right beside Harry, a beam on her face as she sees our interaction. “Quibbler?” She asks us. I nod at the same time I grab a toast from the table. “This one includes a section on different Tarot readings and spreads, (Y/N).”
“Nice! Thank you, Luna.”
“No problem,” Luna whispers. Now, looking up at Harry, she furrows her eyebrows. “What happened to you, Harry? Your face and neck are all red.” My lips are etched on a sheepish smile on my face, and my heart beats just a tiny beat faster at the prospect that I could be the cause of his blush.
The next time I see Harry, he doesn’t actually see me, and it’s not like I’ve planned it so it doesn’t count as spying or stalking. I had been sitting on the crook of one of the many archways that the castle had to offer, reading a muggle book that I’d brought from home, when I heard three different sets of footsteps, each accompanying a different voice. From the sound of it, they had stopped a few metres away from me, and based on the fact that they started talking about me, I assumed the big column blocked me from their view.
“Why are you suddenly friends with that Slytherin?” Ron had asked, his face set on a scowl from the way his voice sounded.
“I think she is… nice, and kind… and friendly.”
“Friendly? Harry, she’s a Slytherin! She cannot be friendly! None of them are.” Ron’s words would have hurt me in First Year. Now, I had learned to ignore whatever people had to say about my house. It’s not as if he didn’t have a reason, though. Unfortunately, the ones that were not nice were also the loudest, making themselves look big and threatening by spitting insults, and, in the process, giving the rest of us a bad reputation. Moreover, the fact that He Who Must Not Be Named once brandished the same colours didn’t help. “Is this… some kind of plan to find out whatever you think Malfoy is up to?”
My eyebrows furrowed instantly after hearing Ron’s question. My heart, instead, trembled, getting closer to breaking apart while my mind began to come up with doubts, ‘I told you so’s’, and inquiries. 
Had Harry truly approached me only because he thought he’d get information about Malfoy from me? I wasn’t even friends with that arsehole! And speaking of him, did Harry believe he was planning something? I mean, sure, he was acting stranger than usual, but at the end of the day, it was Malfoy we were talking about here! He’s always scheming and he’s prone to acting weirdly. I could try to pry something from Zabini… Nah, that would never work out.
“No! No! I- I hadn’t even thought of that…” In the middle of my mental war, I heard Harry’s answer, catching myself almost too late to sigh in relief. They couldn’t know I was listening in to their conversation. That would surely make me more suspicious in Ron’s eyes. “She’s…”
Silence passed between the trio while Ron and Hermione waited for Harry to finish his sentence.
“Well, she’s Luna’s friend. And I trust Luna, so I trust her.” A smile grew on my face.
“Trust is a big word for a Slytherin.” The smile almost, almost, faltered. 
“You know what, Ron? I think you’d actually be good friends if you gave her a chance.” This was Hermione’s first contribution to the discussion, which surprised me quite a bit. I knew my housemates hadn’t been exactly friendly towards her, especially Malfoy and his gang of illiterate fools, so the fact that she would defend me in some way shocked me. 
“Sure, we’d be best mates.” I could picture Ron’s disgusted face perfectly on my head. I giggled quietly at it. It was a shame, we would make good friends.
Sipping my drink quietly, I looked at the different faces round the wooden table. Sitting idly between Professor Slughorn and Zabini, I avoided Marcus Belby devouring his food by locking eyes with Hermione. Her face almost made me cackle, Zabini’s wasn’t helping my case either. Sitting on the other side of Slughorn was Cormac McLaggen, the most obnoxious Gryffindor I had ever met, sending furtive glances towards Hermione. Salazar, I’d never want to be in her place. Neville Longbottom, seemingly just enjoying the fact that he had been invited, and Harry stood on each side of her. I forced myself not to stare at Harry – or at least, not so much as usual. The twins I had encountered a few times, though I had to avoid them daily because their stares and questions creeped me out; but I’d never seen the boy beside Harry. Only one was missing, Ginny Weasley. 
I jump at Slughorn’s sudden call of my name. “I hear you’ve got a business going on. Tarot readings, isn't it?”
My ‘business’, as Professor Slughorn called it, was always supposed to be secret. Particularly, because I had never bothered to check if it was permitted for a student to offer such ‘services’ at Hogwarts. I guess the mortified look on my face amused Professor Slughorn enough to laugh soundly. “Oh, do not fret, Miss. No one will expel you for that. But do tell me, are you thinking of doing it professionally?”
“Well -” Usually, I was not the shy kind, but I knew that if I moved my eyes towards the other side of the table, I’d see Harry looking at me because I could feel his green eyes observing me. Also, I felt the need to impress Professor Slughorn. He was a great teacher in my eyes, I enjoyed his classes, and he had good connections in the Wizarding World. “In a sense, I think I’d like to do it professionally, maybe even try my luck in the muggle world. But, I’ve always wanted to explore other branches of Divination, maybe even research them in depth.”
“You said something about the muggle world, muggles are aware of these practices, aren’t they?”
“Yes, they are, sir. It was actually my muggle grandmother who taught me how to read the cards.”
Professor Slughorn hummed content. Pleased with my answer and his nod of approval, I let myself relax and smile. “That is certainly interesting, Miss. When I’m no longer your teacher, I shall ask for a reading for myself. What do you think, Mister Potter? Do you think we can predict the future?”
Finally, I looked up, linking my eyes with his. He had already been gazing at me, his green eyes fixing on mine the moment I moved my head towards him. 
“Well, only if the person predicting the future is an exceptionally gifted witch or wizard, sir.” There was a boyish beam on his face that pushed me to grin back at him.
Slughorn’s Christmas party looked more promising than I was expecting it to be. Perhaps it was due to the lavishly decorated room, the music playing in the background, and the never-ending incoming of trays filled with food. The guests who weren’t classmates were also interesting. It was hard sometimes to imagine a life outside of Hogwarts, especially with a war brewing, but seeing all these witches and wizards gave me a sense of comfort. 
I start roaming around the room alone a few minutes after I arrive. It had been some sort of beneficial agreement for both me and my date. Neither of us would've wanted to show up at this party alone – I knew it even if he hadn’t necessarily told me so –, but we didn’t tolerate each other enough to spend the night attached to the hip. 
It’s not as if I’m searching the room for him specifically, still I flinch a bit when I find him on the other side of Slughorn’s office. He hasn’t seen me, so I take this small moment to compose myself and to think of my next move, playing with the purple heart-shaped pendant that matches the deep hues of my long dress. The fabric is rich in colours and the tiny rocks that are sewn into the bodice seem to reflect the warm light that illuminates the room. 
Taking a deep breath, I let my eyes wander across the room once more, looking at everything except at where he is. A handful of guests are chatting with each other, some are hoarding the food, and others are just arriving. Finally, our eyes meet for the first time tonight. He appears to have forgotten the fact that he was just talking with someone because he starts moving towards me without even saying anything to the guest he’d been entertaining. In the middle of his walk, as a greeting, he raises his right hand, which stays for barely one or two seconds hovering over his heart when he’s putting it down. 
When he reaches me, alone in one of the corners, I can only describe the expression on his face as dumbfounded. He struggles to keep his eyes set on my face and not let them scan the way this dress is hugging my body. “H-Hi!” His excitement is heard through his voice. Also his nervousness. “You- you look…” His mouth opens and closes, and I giggle at the way he reminds so much of a fish right now. “You look… Godric, beautiful doesn’t do you any justice.” He whispers this as if he hadn’t wanted me to hear, but I do.
I want to scream. I want to start dancing around the room. I want to cry. I want to grab his face and kiss him until we’re both suffocating. I don’t do any of those things.
“Who, um, who did you come with?” He asks.
“Seeing as someone asked Luna before I got the chance, I had to resort to other… options.” My eyes settle on Zabini, chatting up a guest across the room.
Harry laughs sheepishly, “Right, sorry. It was either Luna or one girl who wanted to give me a love potion.”
“Oh! Then I’m glad you got to Luna first.”
There’s a moment of silence that, surprisingly, does not feel awkward. 
“I, uh, I was about to ask you, actually, but,” Harry turns his face towards me and I see him gulp “I didn’t know if you would’ve been up to it.”
I look at him, gazing at him in this warm-lighted room makes my head dizzy. His black robe is elegant and fitting, and there is something, just something, that seems to be calling me to run my fingers through his hair. But I control my urges and save myself the embarrassment. 
“I would’ve.”
“That’s good to know.”
Two weeks after, I find myself having a laugh over a butterbeer in the Three Broomsticks with Harry Potter. My cheeks hurting from smiling so much and my stomach flipping because of something that I know has nothing to do with my drink, I choose to ignore the nasty feeling in my gut warning me about how this might not last long. Whatever time I can spend with him, I’ll take it.
thank you for reading!
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aprilthearcher · 7 months ago
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2nd part is finished and will be posted at midnight (GMT-3)!!
thank you so much for your support!!
replaying your laughter
harry potter x slytherin!fem!reader ― Harry has a crush on a Slytherin, which could collapse the entire school, but he doesn't seem to care much.
slightly inspired by 'message in a bottle' by taylor swift. there could be a second part if anyone's interested in it. don't forget to like, or reblog, or leave a comment! those are always appreaciated.
word count: 1.4k
#masterlist!
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Harry was sure that half – maybe even more than half – of Gryffindors House would never forgive him for having a crush on a Slytherin. Yet, Harry couldn’t really bring himself to care. The lot of them had called him a liar just last year, and none of them, friends or not, had the right to tell him who was appropriate enough or not to go on a date with. 
It was hard not to miss her when she was one of the few Slytherins in Harry’s year who had never insulted him nor any of his friends. As a half-blood, she didn’t care about ‘blood traitors’ or muggleborns nor was she a member of Malfoy’s gang. Also, the fact that she was best friends with Luna Lovegood made her trustworthy in Harry’s eyes. 
Although they had shared many classes during their years at Hogwarts, Harry didn’t know when he’d started to feel this way towards her. Had it been during their third year, after he’d seen her yell curses at Marcus Flint because he didn’t want girls in the Slytherin Quidditch Team? Had it been during their fourth year, after he saw her in an elegant, deep blue gown at the Yule Ball dancing with a Ravenclaw a year older than them? Had it been during their fifth year, after he’d seen her comfort two first years from Slytherin and Hufflepuff that had spent their afternoon in Umbridge’s office? Had these feelings been there since he’d met her on the train in their first year after she couldn’t find her older sister? 
Has he always been so clueless? 
Now, despite the fact that this recently discovered crush made Harry’s heart almost burst out of his chest any time he’d see her – whether in real life or in his dreams –, it didn’t mean that he would easily hand the victory to Slytherin in the match they were about to play. 
Standing face to face with Urquhart, Slytherin’s new Quidditch Captain, Harry tried to avoid her eyes and how imposing she looked dressed in the deepest hue of emerald green. Still, when Madame Hooch blew the whistle, Harry couldn’t help but raise his head in her direction. Her eyes quickly settled on his, and Harry almost punched himself for being the first one to look away. 
Up in the sky, a hand on his broom keeping him steady, he thought he’d have a moment of peace from her. But, in his defence, flying round the pitch looking for the snitch and making sure that his team was playing well eventually led him to find the force of nature that was her on top of a broom. Watching the speed at which she flew, Harry was somewhat relieved that she had never intended to become a Seeker. Yet, as magnificent as she was with a Quaffle in her hands, Ron’s confidence that there was Liquid Luck running through his system managed to block all of the shots she’d thrown at him. Anyone could tell from the look on her face and her stance on her broom that she wanted to rip off Ron’s head, probably use it to mark a few points as well. Her kindness, Harry realised then, did not make her less of a competitive hothead.
The match finished with the snitch in Harry’s hands, granting yet another win to Gryffindor. A smile on his face, he let his eyes trail over his team, each with a grin on their faces as big as his. He saw Ron lifting both of his arms, celebrating with the scarlet and gold crowd, and Ginny dive-bombing into the podium from where Zacharias Smith had been calling the match. 
Harry looked for her once more, finding her already on the ground with the rest of the Slytherin Quidditch Team. He’d started descending when he saw what seemed to be a fight between her and Urquhart. The Slytherin Quidditch Team had a finger pointed to her chest, which she quickly dismissed with a jab of her hand and a hissed that Harry got to hear as a ‘Don’t fucking touch me’. This infuriated Urquhart more, making him get closer to her face, but with only a stamp of her foot, she sent him flying backwards. 
Madame Hooch’s whistle blew loudly across the pitch, and the crowd finally caught on what was happening. Harry saw them go from celebrating, or sulking in the case of the silver and green sea of people, to whispering excitedly about the tussle. Urquhart was now marching in her direction, though Harry noticed some hesitation on his pace when the determination settled on her face. He had known, not that Harry spent a lot of time observing her, that she was very capable at wandless magic. In Urquhart’s case, he was always ready to start a brawl, yet he never saw through; opting, instead, to play it cool when he realised that he wouldn’t come out triumphant. 
Because of some kind of instinct, Harry drew closer to the Slytherin Quidditch Team, standing a few paces behind her. Zabini observed him, his eyes were narrowed and his arms were crossed; it was clear he wasn’t there to stop his teammates from fighting each other. Suddenly, Snape stood between Urquhart and (Y/N). His face was rougher than usual and with only a few words he sent the Slytherin Captain back to the castle. Then, Snape turned to them, raising his eyebrows at the sight of Harry.
“Potter, shouldn’t you be celebrating?” Said Snape. The mere mention of the word ‘celebrating’ added a layer of disgust to his face. “Or is it that you cannot bear that the attention is not on you?”
Before answering, he looked at her. She had glanced back at him at the mention of his name, clearly surprised that he was here. Their eyes met for a brief second, one in which Harry noted the colour of his eyes was similar to that of her robes. 
“I was only making sure that none of the players of your house got hurt. Seeing as Malfoy wasn’t here to play today, to get yet another replacement would surely affect the team.”
“How… heroic. Always ready to save the day, Potter.” Harry smiled sarcastically at Snape’s comment. “Miss, I expect to see you at my office tomorrow morning. We will discuss your detention.”
“Detention? Urquhart was the one to start the fight. He was the one yelling at me and getting all over my face.” Harry was certain that weren’t for the fact that Snape was a professor and the Head of her House, he would have suffered the same fate as Urquhart, thrown back across the pitch. He stopped himself from laughing at the mental picture of that. 
“It’s not up to discussion, but if you keep complaining you will do a month of detention rather than two weeks.” With her silence and the matter already settled, Snape started walking towards the castle, Zabini and the rest followed him.
Now that the two of them were alone, Harry didn’t know what to say. The bleachers were emptying, some members of his team had already left the pitch. 
“Um, thanks for that, I guess,” she mumbled. It seemed she didn’t know what to say either. 
“Uh, yeah, no problem.”
There was another moment of silence where both of them avoided each other’s gaze, looking at their shoes or the brown gloves on their hands.
“What did- What did Urquhart say to you?” Harry asked. He was curious, but he also wanted to keep talking to her. 
“He basically blamed the loss on me, saying I wasn’t fast enough or my aim was off, which could be true, but it’s not as if the rest of the team got the same. He said it to me because I’m the only girl, so…”
“So he’s a prick and no better than Flint.”
She laughed at that, softly and probably reminiscing that time she cursed him for not wanting to put her on the team. Harry swore that if he could hear that laugh play in the back of his mind forever, he wouldn’t need anything else. It would be her laugh that’d spurred him on. He thought about running to Dumbledore’s office and using the pensieve to replay this moment over and over again.
“Yeah, at least Montague would yell at all of us.” She mentioned while beginning to play with the strap on her gloves. “Anyways, I think it’s time for me to get back, and you have a win to celebrate.”
“Yeah, yeah, I do. But, um, you played well today. You’re a great Chaser.”
She whispered a small ‘thanks’, biting her lower lip in an attempt to contain the grin that was about to erupt in her face. 
thank you for reading!
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aprilthearcher · 7 months ago
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“His head remained bowed, his knee pressed to the uneven cobblestones, the hand holding your handkerchief resting against his heart.” [this] says more than i love you in my books!!!!
an imperial command a knight!choso fic
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pairing ⸺ knight/warrior!choso x princess!reader
summary ⸺ you, the princess of the nation, and choso, the son of your father's most trusted general, have been inseperable since birth. but after many deem it inappropriate for him to be so close to you, the distance between you and him only deepens after he leaves for war. when he comes back older and a more handsome, bigger version of the choso of your childhood, you both grapple with love, duty, and test the bounds of propierty.
warnings ⸺ smut, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, fem!reader, reader has a vagina, classism? not really, reader may seem pushy at times, not edited, very sweet love confession, happy ending, fingering, breast worship, virgin reader, mutual loss of virginity, mentions of sexism and archaic beliefs about virginity, pathetic choso, soft dom choso, p i v sex, gentle choso :(, me being really horny about his HAPPY TRAIL
a/n it's something about a hot decorated warrior that crumbles at the thought of you...
general masterlist
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You and Choso had been inseparable since birth.
As the princess of the realm and the son of the general—your father’s most trusted advisor and sworn brother—it seemed ordained by fate itself that you should become steadfast companions. And companions you were; as babes, you darted through the royal gardens, frolicked in the halls of the palace, and devised schemes to escape the ever-watchful eyes of your tutors. Only the constraints of your education would separate you. You were confined to lessons in the classical tongues, the harp, and courtly diplomacy, while Choso immersed himself in the arts of the sword, the strategies of war, and the unyielding discipline of a soldier.
“Choso!” you squealed, your laughter ringing through the royal gardens as you fled from an imagined dragon. You ran toward him, your skirts billowing behind you, and found him poised and ready. His knees were bent, his gaze unwavering, and his small wooden sword clutched tightly in his hands. He glared past you at the phantom threat with the solemnity of a true knight.
“I will save you, Your Highness!” he roared and lunged, hacking away at the demon passionately. You cheered him on, giggling at his act.
“You’ve done it!” you cheered, clapping your hands in delight. But then your eyes widened in feigned terror. “Look, another one approaches!”
Choso spun around at your warning, his attention diverted just as you had planned. Seizing the moment, you imagined the dreadful beast closing in on his unguarded back.
“Watch out!” you exclaimed, grabbing a fallen branch to defend him. With a bold leap, you placed yourself between Choso and the imagined peril, brandishing your twig as though it were a knight’s blade.
“I’ve got you!” you declared, laughing as you swung your newfound weapon, the pair of you lost in the unrestrained joy of childhood.
Of course, while the king, your father, appreciated you so closely acquainted with his general’s son, your mother did not seem to think it wise that you become estranged from the daughters of nobles; after all, you would need to forge relationships early on to strengthen your future court. This led to many a playdates being interrupted.
“You didn’t need to save me!” Choso whined, pouting while crossing his arms. 
However, you held out a pudgy hand, patting his hair as if to soothe him. “It’s okay, Choso. If you ever need saving, I’ll always be there—” “YOUR HIGHNESS!” You heard footsteps running towards where the both of you were sitting idly. When parrying the imaginary monster’s attacks, you had tumbled on top of Choso, your dress and limbs entangled with his and both of your hair unruly. Hearing your governess’ voice led you to pout, for you were sure to earn a scolding for fooling around with Choso rather than practicing the violin for the nth time. Alas, you couldn’t escape her—as well as Choso’s nannies, who had appeared—and you both looked sheepishly at their horrified faces.  
Frowning, Choso’s nanny stomped towards the both of you, untangling you both impatiently and, once you were both standing, giving Choso a light smack on his head while bowing towards you. “Your Highness, I apologize, but the both of you mustn’t do such things anymore. You both are far past the age that this is appropriate.”
“What?” You pouted, disappointed in having to back to your room, confined to practice your violin with those dreadful, boring tunes. “What isn’t appropriate about this? We’re just playing—”
“Your Highness,” your governess began, her strained smile barely masking her displeasure. “It is not fitting for a princess to engage in such… undignified behavior. You must remember your station. A young lady of your rank is expected to conduct herself with grace and decorum at all times.”
Choso’s nanny, now tidying his tousled hair with brisk, efficient motions, added in a sharper tone, “And you, young master, should remember your place. You are not her equal but her servant’s son. Such familiarity is unbecoming.”
At her words, Choso’s face turned pale, his gaze dropping to the ground. His hands clenched into small fists at his sides, but he said nothing, his lips pressed tightly together. You could see the effort it took him to remain still, his shoulders stiff with tension.
“Choso?” you called softly, tilting your head to catch his eye. 
However, he did not look up, though his voice came, quiet and steady. “I’m sorry, Your Highness. I… I won’t do it again.”
Your brows furrowed, your chest tightening at the sight of his downcast expression. “What are you apologizing for?” you demanded, your voice sharper than you intended. “You’ve done nothing wrong! We were only playing.”
“Your Highness!” your governess interjected, her tone scandalized. “Such defiance is unbecoming. You must understand—”
“I understand perfectly,” you snapped, cutting her off. “I understand that I don’t care for these rules. Choso is my friend, and I decide what is and isn’t proper!”
Choso’s nanny inhaled sharply, but he quickly stepped forward, shaking his head fervently. “Please, Your Highness,” he murmured, his voice almost a whisper. “Don’t… don’t say such things for me. I’ll… I’ll do as I’m told. I promise.”
“Choso!” you exclaim, betrayed as the sting of his words settling in your chest. His gaze still refused to meet yours, fixed instead on the ground between you.
Your governess, sensing her victory, straightened. “Your Highness, you must return to your chambers immediately. Your music tutor is waiting. And as for you, Master Choso, your training will resume at once. I trust there will be no further disruptions.”
Neither of you spoke as the governess and the nanny ushered you away in opposite directions, their sharp voices ringing in your ears. Yet, as you glanced over your shoulder, you caught one last fleeting glimpse of Choso, his hesitant gaze finally meeting yours for the briefest of moments. It held a quiet resolve that only deepened your frustration.
“Wait and see,” you muttered under your breath as you were dragged back toward your chambers. “I’ll change this someday.”
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That was the last time he ever spoke your name aloud; now, you were only Your Highness and The Royal Princess. It irritated you to no end; you were his friend, not his superior. But he insisted, falling deeper and deeper into the depths of social proprietary and hierarchy his nannies and parents were no doubt pressuring him into. You could only take what you had; if he was refusing your affection, he would at least not refuse royal commands of rendezvous.
Years had gracefully unfolded since that day, and now, as teenagers, your clandestine meetings in the royal gardens had blossomed into cherished rituals beneath the cloak of night. The gardens, adorned with that glowed under the moon's gentle gaze, became the sanctuary where you and Choso could momentarily escape the rigid expectations of courtly life.
As you approached the secluded alcove near the ancient marble fountain, your heart fluttered with a mixture of anticipation and nervous excitement. 
And there he was.
Choso waited beneath the willow tree, his dark eyes darting between the swaying branches and the dimly lit path beyond. The shadows stretched long in the garden, and the faint sound of patrolling guards put a furrow in his brow. He shifted on his feet, arms crossed tightly as though bracing himself for some reprimand.
When you finally appeared, dressed in your lighter night robes, he let out a small breath of relief. “Your Highness, you shouldn’t—”
“Can you stop that?” You whine, brushing him off and making a move to sit in the swing right by the tree. You lightly swing your feet, establishing a gentle rhythm while you grin mischievously at him, meeting your lighthearted eyes with his furrowed, slightly worried ones. “Don’t be such a spoilsport, Choso. No one’s going to catch us.”
He can only shake his head, for after years of friendship had led him to know one universal truth: if there was one thing, it was that your mind, once resolute, could not be changed. “I don’t know how you keep wanting to risk them discovering this.” Then, he sighs, lamenting weakly, “and why I have to dragged into this.”
You flash him an innocent smile, about to give a cocky response about how you’re the princess and it’s not like Choso doesn’t want this…right? but both of you pause, deadly still, when you hear the undeniable clinks of armor.
Patrolling guards.
Choso’s head snapped toward the sound, his body going rigid. It kind of dazes you, in a way, how his curriculum as a warrior leads him to be so alert. It’s also this moment that you realize how grown you both are becoming; it feels as if you’re stuck as a dainty princess, while he’s steadily growing taller and bigger, a smaller picture of his formidable father.
“Someone’s coming,” he whispered, his voice barely audible over the rustling leaves.
You froze, exchanging a wide-eyed glance with him before instinctively ducking behind the grand marble fountain. The cold stone pressed against your back as the guards’ footsteps grew louder, accompanied by the bobbing light of their lanterns.
“Who’s there?” one of them called out, his voice sharp and commanding.
Choso shifted beside you, his breath quick and shallow. Your hand brushed against his arm in reassurance, but it did little to ease the tension radiating off him. The guards’ lanterns swept methodically across the gardens, their shadows flickering on the trees.
“Stay still,” Choso mouthed, his dark eyes fixed on the approaching light.
The guards drew closer, their boots crunching against the gravel path. You could feel your pulse hammering in your ears, each second dragging on unbearably.
Then, a faint rustle to your left—a squirrel darting across the underbrush. The guards turned toward the noise, their lanterns swinging wide.
“Must’ve been an animal,” one muttered, though he sounded unconvinced.
“Keep looking,” the other replied gruffly. “The king’s orders were clear—no one’s to linger in the gardens after dark.”
The pair continued past, their voices fading as they moved toward the far side of the grounds.
You let out a shaky breath, but before you could fully relax, Choso grabbed your hand, pulling you to your feet. “We need to go deeper,” he said urgently, his voice low.
Without waiting for your agreement, he led you away from the fountain, weaving through the hedges and into the denser parts of the forest. The shadows thickened as the soft glow of the garden lanterns disappeared behind you. Branches brushed against your arms, and the earthy scent of moss and damp leaves filled the air as you ran.
“Choso!” you whispered breathlessly, struggling to keep up with his longer strides. “They’re gone!”
“Not far enough,” he replied, glancing back at you. “We can’t risk them doubling back.”
The forest grew darker the deeper you went, the canopy above blocking out most of the moonlight. Finally, when the sound of your own breathing seemed louder than anything else, Choso slowed to a halt beneath a towering oak.
“We should be safe here,” he murmured, releasing your hand.
You both sank to the ground, the soft carpet of moss cushioning your fall. For a moment, neither of you spoke, too winded to do anything but sit there, catching your breath. Then, a stifled giggle bubbled out of you, unable to contain the absurdity of the chase.
Choso shot you a warning look, but his resolve cracked when you pressed your hands over your mouth, failing to muffle your laughter. A small laugh escaped him in turn, and soon you were both doubled over, trying in vain to quiet yourselves.
“Shhh!” Choso whispered, though he was grinning. “You’ll get us caught.”
“You’re the loud one,” you whispered back, nudging him playfully.
Soon, the laughter slowly subsided, leaving only the sound of rustling leaves and the distant hoot of an owl. Choso leaned back against the tree, his expression softening as he glanced up at the canopy. His eyes caught on something above, and he pointed. “Look—fruit.”
Following his gaze, you spotted the cluster of small, round pomengrenates hanging from a low branch. Choso stood, brushing dirt from his trousers, and reached up to pluck one. He examined it briefly before biting into it, his movements unhurried and deliberate.
“Are you just going to eat that without offering me one?” you asked, crossing your arms.
He smirked, holding another pomengrenate aloft. “You want it?”
“Obviously.”
But instead of handing it over, Choso lifted it above his head, his smirk widening. “Come and get it.” You stood up, moving closer to him to make a motion to grab the fruit. Alas, the effort was not fruitful. 
“Choso!” you hissed, glaring at him as he kept the fruit just out of reach. You try many things: you grab his shoulder, tickle him on his stomach, and arms. However, it all is in vain.
“You’re the one who wants it,” he said, his head peering down at you in amusement.
You stood, determination written all over your face. “Fine. If you think I can’t—”
You leapt, swatting at his hand, but he easily moved the fruit higher, his height giving him the upper hand.
“You’re insufferable!” you said, laughing despite yourself as you tried again, this time jumping with more force. Still, you missed.
“Perhaps you should’ve been born taller,” he teased, a mischievous glint in his eye.
“Or perhaps you should stop being such a—” Before you could finish, he lowered the fruit suddenly, pressing it into your hand.
“There,” he said, smirking. “Satisfied?”
You took a triumphant bite, your glare softening into a grin. “For now.”
Settling back down, you both shared the fruit in companionable silence, the earlier tension of the night dissipating in the quiet forest. Yet, as you sat side by side, something about the way his gaze lingered on you—or perhaps the warmth blooming in your chest—made you wonder if these late-night meetings were becoming something more.
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And then, years later, he left for war. Choso left for the battlefield, summoned to serve alongside his father as the general’s son. 
The morning he departed was etched into your memory with painful clarity. The air was crisp, the kind that stung your lungs when you breathed too deeply, and the courtyard was alive with the sounds of preparation. Soldiers moved with purpose, their boots striking against the cobblestones in rhythmic determination. Horses snorted and pawed at the ground, their breaths rising like smoke in the cold air.
You stood at the edge of it all, your hands clasped tightly in front of you, trying to keep your expression composed. This was no place for a princess to display her feelings, no matter how tightly they knotted in her chest. Your father was nearby, speaking with the general in low, serious tones, his gaze sweeping over the troops with pride. Your mother was absent, as always, too preoccupied with courtly matters to concern herself with the departure of soldiers—even one who had once been your constant companion.
When Choso emerged from the crowd, his figure clad in the red, utilitarian uniform of a soldier, it was as though the rest of the scene blurred. The boy who had once darted through the gardens with you, his hair wild and his hands dirtied by mischief, now looked every inch the man his father had raised him to be. His hair was tied back, his face set in an unreadable mask of calm, and he carried himself with a solemnity that felt foreign.
He always did make you feel like a child. While you were still delaying acceptance of your fate as the princes—future queen—-he had grown into a man, fated to be a war general. 
He approached slowly, each step deliberate. When he stopped before you, he did not smile. Instead, he bowed low, his dark eyes briefly meeting yours. “Your Highness—”
But you had enough of that godforsaken title. “Why must you leave?” You cried, your voice breaking as Choso stood before you in the courtyard.
The image of the steeled soldier crumbled as his eyes softened in fondness and melancholy. “You know I must.”
You shook your head fervently, as if to vehemently deny what was undeniably the truth. “You know that’s not true.” And it wasn’t, for it would only take an imperial command of yours to bar him from ever entering the battlefield.
But it was his dream; you saw the way he looked at his father. To deny Choso the sword and the glory he was destined for was to chain him down, and you knew that. So instead, you shook off the idea, then blurted, “You’ll write to me, won’t you?”
The question hung in the air between you, heavy with expectation. He hesitated, a flicker of something—guilt, perhaps—crossing his face before it smoothed back into neutrality. “If time allows.”
That was all he offered. No promises. No reassurances. Just a vague, distant answer that left your heart sinking.
Outraged, and a bit petulant, you exclaimed. “What do you mean if time allows? Will you be so busy that you won’t have time? Are you not at least going to grant me some peace of mi—what is that?”
In the corner of your eye, you see something in his hand catch the sunlight, and glimmer. He hesitates, his hand clenching before inevitably opening his palm. A timid, “For you, Your Highness.”
An instinctual don’t call me that dies out in your throat as he shows you what he was hiding. In it he uncovers a small, delicate object—a pin shaped like a blooming flower, its petals carved with meticulous detail and painted in hues of white and gold.
You stared at it, your hands trembling as you took it from him. “What is this for?”
“It’s a symbol,” he explained, his voice quieter now, almost hesitant. “Of where I’ll always be, even if I’m not here. Keep it with you, and you’ll know that... that I’ll do everything I can to return.”
“Oh, Choso.” Your bottom lip trembled as tears welled in your eyes, threatening to spill over. Your fingers closed around the pin, the intricate craftsmanship biting into your palm. Somehow, the weight of it felt heavier than it should’ve been. “I don’t want a pin, Choso,” you whispered, voice cracking. “I want you to stay.”
His expression softened, and for a moment, it seemed like he might reach out to you. But then he stilled, the rigidity in his posture a clear reminder of the boundaries he refused to cross.
Even so, you didn’t want to seem ungrateful. The gift, despite your pain, was beautiful, and its meaning wasn’t lost on you. You sniffled, brushing a tear from your cheek with a trembling hand. “But it is beautiful, regardless,” you murmured, holding it up to the light. The golden edges of the petals gleamed softly, like sunlight captured in metal. “Put it in my hair?”
Choso blinked, caught off guard by the request. His gaze flickered between you and the pin, uncertainty etched into his features. “Your Highness, I—”
“Please,” you interrupted gently, tilting your head slightly toward him. “Just this once.”
He hesitated for a long moment, his fingers flexing at his sides as though he were battling some internal conflict. Finally, with a barely audible sigh, he reached out and took the pin from your hand.
You held your breath as he stepped closer, his presence steady and grounding despite the whirlwind of emotions inside you. His hand brushed against your hair and your neck as he carefully gathered a small section, his touch warm and deliberate. You could feel the calluses on his fingertips, earned from countless hours of swordsmanship, yet his movements were painstakingly gentle.
“There,” he said softly, stepping back to examine his work. His gaze lingered on you, and for the first time in what felt like forever, his formal mask cracked ever so slightly. There was something in his eyes—something raw and unspoken—that made your chest tighten.
You reached up instinctively, your fingers brushing against the cool metal of the pin now nestled securely in your hair. “How does it look?” you asked, trying to keep your voice light, though the lump in your throat made it difficult.
Choso’s lips parted, but no words came. He swallowed hard, his gaze darting away as if he couldn’t bear to look at you any longer. “It’s beautiful,” he finally said, his voice barely above a whisper.
The horn sounded again, louder this time, breaking the fragile moment between you. Choso stepped back, the walls of propriety rising between you once more.
“Thank you,” you managed, your voice steady despite the ache in your chest.
He bowed deeply, avoiding your eyes. “Goodbye, Your Highness.”
And then he was gone, leaving you alone with the faint scent of earth and steel, the pin in your hair a bittersweet reminder of the distance that now separated you.
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For weeks after, you found yourself restless, wandering the garden paths where you had once talked and laughed together. You scribbled letter after letter, pouring out questions and updates, recounting bits of palace gossip and even sending sketches of the places you’d been. But no reply ever came.
At first, you tried to excuse it—surely, he was too busy, too occupied with the rigors of war to respond. Still, you kept writing, sending your letters to the front lines with the faint hope that one day, you’d receive one in return.
“Any news of the general’s son?” you would ask your father over dinner, feigning casual interest.
“He’s doing well,” your father would reply, distractedly cutting into his meal. “His tactics in the northern campaign have earned him commendation. A fine young soldier.”
You pressed further, ignoring the disapproving look your mother shot you. “And... is he safe?”
Your father raised a brow but indulged you. “Of course. The reports say he’s advancing quickly through the ranks. A promotion to captain is already under consideration.”
Your chest swelled with pride at the thought, but it was quickly eclipsed by frustration. If he was receiving such accolades, surely he could find the time to write a simple letter?
“Why do you trouble your father with such questions?” your mother chided later, her tone clipped. “The general’s son is serving the nation. You should focus on more important matters, like preparing for your duties.”
But your concern for Choso only grew. Whenever news from the front lines arrived, you would listen intently, hoping to hear his name mentioned. When you did, it brought a fleeting sense of relief, but it never lasted long.
The silence from him felt heavier with each passing month. You couldn’t understand it—how could someone who had once been your closest companion, who had sworn to always protect you, sever that bond so easily?
And yet, you never stopped writing. Each letter was folded with care, sealed with your personal wax stamp, and sent off with the same unwavering hope. Even if he didn’t reply, even if you didn’t understand why, you couldn’t bring yourself to stop.
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The city was alive with celebration, a symphony of cheers, music, and the occasional crackle of fireworks that lit up the night sky. The soldiers had finally come home after a long winded war, and you just couldn’t miss out on the excitement. After Choso’s departure, you had grown. Before you were a gangly teenager, but now you were a young woman. With this came you forming your own opinion, independent of our parents, and had developed a habit of frequently sneaking out of the palace.
You couldn’t bear to stay confined to the palace, not when the air was thick with excitement and the news of the army’s triumphant return had set the entire city alight. The soldiers, clad in polished armor that gleamed even in the dim light, strode through the streets in small groups while the people cheered on the sidelines. They carried themselves with the confidence of men who had seen battle and emerged victorious.
Young ladies lingered at the edges of the crowd, their eyes alight with hope as they watched the soldiers pass. Some called out to them, their voices playful and lilting, while others merely smiled shyly, clutching kerchiefs or flowers they clearly longed to offer. The soldiers, for the most part, maintained a stoic demeanor, though a few exchanged grins or nodded in acknowledgment, their faces betraying a mix of pride and exhaustion.
Children darted between legs, waving tiny flags and shouting in delight, while their parents looked on with a mix of relief and gratitude. The scent of roasted chestnuts and spiced wine wafted through the air, mingling with the faint metallic tang of the soldiers’ armor. It was a night of unity, of celebration, where the lines between commoner and noble blurred in the shared joy of victory.
Draped in a simple cloak to conceal your identity, you slipped past the guards at the palace gates, your heart pounding with both exhilaration and trepidation. The anonymity of the cloak felt liberating as you merged with the crowd, the world suddenly vast and unguarded in a way it never was within the palace walls.
Laughter surrounded you, the contagious energy of the revelry lifting your spirits as you wandered farther from the familiar confines of royal life. You paused to admire a street performer juggling flaming torches, your cloak billowing slightly in the breeze. But before you could move on, a sudden gust snatched the handkerchief tucked into your cloak.
You gasped, your fingers grasping for it, but the delicate fabric was already airborne, dancing above the heads of the crowd. You watched helplessly as it soared higher, carried by the playful wind. Instinctively, you gave chase, weaving through the throng of revelers as your heart raced with the thrill of pursuit.
The handkerchief drifted out of sight, disappearing beyond the swell of people. Your steps faltered, and you stood on tiptoe, scanning the crowd in vain. It was only then that a firm hand shot up above the sea of heads, catching the fluttering fabric mid-air. The sight of your handkerchief, caught in a strong, gloved grip, sent a jolt through you.
Your gaze traveled upward, and there he stood—a figure that was at once familiar and startlingly different. His broad shoulders and proud stance were unmistakable even before he turned, his dark eyes locking with yours.
“Your Highness?” His voice was deep, steady, and entirely too familiar. Then, his eyes went to your hair—you, still wearing the hairpin he gave you that day—and they filled with a conflicted, longing sort of expression.
Your breath hitched, and for a moment, you froze. He looked so much…bigger. He always had muscles due to his frequent physical lessons, but he was so much taller now, his face a lot more sculpted. Before you could interpret what the lurching in your heart meant, he took a step towards you. But before he could take another step toward you, you turned and ran instinctively, the sound of his voice chasing you as surely as his footsteps.
Fuck, fuck, FUCK! If Choso knew you had sneaked out, he would send you right back, citing useless things about duty and protecting you. While your traitorous heart started beating faster as soon as you saw him—different, but still undeniably Choso—you knew your liberty was at an end if he sent you home and informed your parents of what you did.
You bolted as fast as you could, your cloak billowing behind you as you darted into a narrow alley. Footsteps echoed against the cobblestones, heavy and deliberate, chasing you down. You reached the end of the alley and stopped, your chest heaving, unsure whether to keep running or face him.
“Your Highness,” the voice came again, closer this time.
You spun around, and there he was. Choso. But he wasn’t the boy you remembered—he was a man now. Broad shoulders filled out his uniform, the insignia of his rank glinting on his chest. His hair was tied back, revealing a face hardened by battle and time. Yet his eyes, dark and intense, still held the same quiet depth you’d known as children.
He dropped to one knee, his hand over his heart. “Your Highness.”
You gaped at his display. Since when did he start kneeling? “What are you doing?”
His voice came out, devoid of the warmth you had once known. “It’s protocol, Your Highness.” His head remained bowed, his knee pressed to the uneven cobblestones, the hand holding your handkerchief resting against his heart.
But you were in denial, scrambling to pull him up by his arms. It was futile; he was way stronger than you, and at your touch, he jumped back, as if stung. Wounded, you urged him. “Get up,” you stepped closer, “Choso, it’s me. You don’t need to—”
“I must, Your Highness.” His tone was calm but resolute, his gaze fixed on the ground. “Unless you are issuing an imperial command, I have no choice but to honor the rules set forth by your station.”
You stared at him, your chest tightening. “An imperial command?” The words tasted bitter on your tongue. You didn’t want commands; you wanted familiarity, the easy camaraderie you once shared.
“Yes, Your Highness.” He finally lifted his gaze to meet yours, his dark eyes steady and unreadable. “If you do not wish me to kneel, then say it as such. Otherwise…” He lowered his head again. “This is my place.”
“Your place?” You felt a flicker of anger rise in your chest. “Choso, your place is by my side, as it always has been! Don’t—don’t treat me like some distant monarch.”
His shoulders tensed, and you thought you caught a flash of something—guilt, perhaps?—in the way his fingers tightened around the handkerchief. But still, he didn’t move.
Frustrated, you stepped even closer, your voice rising despite your efforts to remain calm. “Get up,” you said, reaching out and tugging at his arm. “I said, get up!”
“I cannot,” he said softly, the words cutting through your frustration like a blade. “Not unless you order it as my superior.”
You stared at him, a mix of hurt and disbelief swirling in your chest. “Fine,” you said, your voice trembling. “If that’s what it takes, then I command you—get up, Choso. I command you to stand!”
For a moment, the tension lingered in the air, thick and suffocating. Slowly, reluctantly, he rose to his feet, towering over you with a presence that felt both familiar and foreign.
But as you looked up at him, your frustration only grew. “This isn’t you,” you said, your voice softer now, tinged with sadness. “You’re treating me like I’m just your princess, like I’m someone you barely know. Do you even know how much it hurt when you never wrote back to me? I kept sending letter after letter, but it was like you didn’t care. Like you forgot about me.”
Choso’s jaw tightened, his eyes flickering with something unreadable. “It wasn’t my place to respond, Your Highness.”
It was that damn phrase. “Your place?” you echoed, now even more bitterly. “You were my friend, Choso. My closest friend. Now you stand here, calling me Your Highness like I’m a stranger, like we never ran through the gardens or talked under the stars. I don’t even know who you are anymore.”
For a moment, his expression softened, but it was fleeting. He straightened, his demeanor distant once more. “It’s dangerous for you to be here,” he said quietly. “I need to call for a carriage to take you back to the palace.”
Your heart sunk to your derriere. If Choso did indeed send you back, your parents would undeniably discover that you’ve been sneaking out. “No!” you snapped, stepping forward. “You can’t. If my parents find out I was here, they’ll—”
“They’ll ensure your safety,” he interrupted, his voice steady but firm. “And that’s what matters.”
You stared at him, now anger bubbling in your chest. “So you’ll just hand me over like I’m some burden to be dealt with? What about you?” Then, in a strong fit, you bursted out. “Are you going to stay here and fool around with girls while I’m locked away in the palace?”
His eyes widened briefly at your accusation, a flicker of surprise breaking through his stoic mask. But then his expression hardened, and he took a step back. “That’s not fair,” he said quietly.
“Fair?” you shot back, your voice trembling. “What’s fair about any of this, Choso? You’re not even trying to fight for us—for the friendship we used to have.”
He hesitated, his hands curling into fists at his sides. “It’s not that simple,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Then make it simple!” you demanded, your heart aching with every word. “Stop pushing me away. Stop acting like I don’t matter to you anymore.”
For a moment, you thought he might say something—something real, something that would bridge the growing chasm between you. But instead, he turned away, his voice steady and distant as he said, “Wait here. I’ll call for the carriage.”
You watched him walk away, the ache in your chest spreading until it felt like it would consume you entirely. The handkerchief in your hand trembled as you clenched your fingers around it, your anger and sadness swirling into a storm of emotion.
And yet, even as he disappeared into the bustling streets, a part of you refused to believe this was the end. You couldn’t let it be.
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Ever since his return to the palace, Choso has been ignoring you.
It’s not that you were spending every hour and every minute with him before, when he was just your childhood friend. However, you would meet everyday, whether it to be sneak off into the gardens at night, or meet for lunch or dinner. Even a request of yours could’ve secured a visit to town, the both of you going to town to eat pastries and street food while accompanied by a chaperone. Of course, that was due to your incessant pleas to your disapproving mother, but you could score an occasional playdate outside the palace every month or so.
But it feels…different. And he feels different.
You oft find yourself daydreaming about him, older and a decorated soldier. And before you can catch yourself, you find your cheeks heated and your heart set aflutter. It’s a bit mind-boggling, really. Ever since Choso left, none of the future dukes and lords had ever caught your attention, even at balls. Their gentle, weak disposition didn’t compare to your Choso, you always thought. Back then, you had always thought of it as pride for your best friend, but now…..
Musing aside, you’re tired of this distance Choso has created between you. So you choose to seek him out.
The castle courtyard was alive with the sharp clang of swords and the rhythmic stomp of boots on hard-packed dirt. You leaned over the balustrade of the upper terrace, concealed behind a stone pillar, watching the soldiers below. It wasn’t the sparring or the strategy that captivated you—it was Choso.
The sun bore down on him as he moved with precision and power, his blade a silver blur as he sparred with one of the veteran knights. His whole torso is bare; damp with sweat, the sun shines against the cords and cords of muscle that then lead to a string of hair that trails into his trousers. The muscles in his arms ripple with every swing and parry. You bite your lip, feeling a warmth creep up your cheeks that you stubbornly attributed to the summer heat.
He had changed so much. Gone was the boy who had laughed with you under the willow tree and run with you through the gardens. In his place was a man who carried the weight of war on his broad shoulders, his every movement deliberate, his expression unreadable. And yet, despite the distance he put between you, you couldn’t tear your eyes away.
When the sparring session ended, Choso handed his sword to a squire and wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand. You straightened as he turned, half-expecting him to glance up and spot you. But he didn’t. Instead, he spoke briefly to the knight, his gaze fixed firmly on the ground.
You took a deep breath, steeling yourself. You couldn’t keep hiding and watching from afar. You had to speak to him, to demand answers for why he had been avoiding you since the day in the alley.
Quickly, you made your way down to the courtyard, your pulse racing as you rehearsed what you would say. But when you reached the training grounds, Choso was already heading toward the barracks.
“Choso!” you called out, your voice echoing across the courtyard.
He froze mid-step, his shoulders tensing before he turned slowly to face you. His expression was neutral, guarded, but there was a flicker of something in his eyes—something he quickly masked.
“Your Highness,” he said, bowing his head. “What brings you here?”
You frowned, frustrated by the formality in his tone. “I wanted to speak with you,” you said, stepping closer. “You’ve been avoiding me.”
He shook his head, his dark hair falling into his eyes. “I haven’t been avoiding you. I’ve been busy with training and my duties.”
“That’s a lie,” you said, crossing your arms. “You always find a reason to leave whenever I try to approach you. You didn’t even look at me after the alley—”
“Your Highness,” he interrupted, his voice firm but not unkind. “You shouldn’t be here. It’s not proper for you to be seen in the training grounds.”
“Proper?” you repeated, anger flaring in your chest. “Since when do you care about what’s proper? You didn’t care when we were sneaking out or when we were running through the gardens—”
“That was different,” he said, his tone softer now. “We were children. Things aren’t the same anymore.”
“Why not?” you demanded, your voice trembling. “Why are you pushing me away?”
He hesitated, his gaze flickering to the soldiers milling about in the distance. “I’m not pushing you away,” he said finally. “I’m doing what’s best for you.”
“What’s best for me?” You laughed bitterly, shaking your head. “How can ignoring me and avoiding me be what’s best for me?”
Choso didn’t answer. Instead, he bowed his head again, his hands clenched at his sides. “Forgive me, Your Highness. I need to return to my duties.”
And before you could stop him, he turned and walked away, leaving you standing in the middle of the courtyard, your heart aching with every step he took.
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You paced the length of your chambers, clutching the skirts of your dress. It’s been two times that Choso dismissed since his arrival. Did he abhor you so?
It was as if an invisible wall had been erected between you, the builder of it Choso for some mysterious reason. Proprietary aside, it would be okay for the occasional chat, would it not? After all, he was still a noble in his own regard, and a conversation or two wouldn’t be frowned upon. So why was he ignoring you entirely?
You couldn’t take it anymore. If he wouldn’t come to you, then you would ensure he had no choice but to stay by your side. If he truly detests it, you will let him go, no matter how painful it would be and how ardently you would mourn your friendship. But you needed to know.
Resolved, you marched to your parents’ audience chamber, where they were seated in quiet discussion. Your father looked up first, his brows furrowing slightly at your abrupt entrance. “What is it, my dear? You seem troubled.”
Your mother glanced at you as well, seated right next to the king, her sharp gaze assessing. “Has something happened?”
You straightened your shoulders, facing them both, willing your voice to remain steady. “Father, Mother, I have a request.”
Your father tilted his head, curious. “Go on.”
You hesitated for only a moment before speaking. “I would like Choso to be assigned as my personal guard.”
The queen blinked, her lips pressing into a thin line, and questioned, “Choso?”
“Yes,” you said quickly to prevent your mother from getting a word in. “He’s proven himself in battle, hasn’t he? He’s been promoted several times for his skill and loyalty. Who better to protect me?”
Your father leaned back in his chair, stroking his beard thoughtfully. “It’s true he’s risen quickly through the ranks. He’s a fine soldier.”
“And he’s someone I trust,” you added, stepping closer. “He’s been by my side since we were children. I feel safer with him than with anyone else. With me growing into adulthood, there would be no one better to be by my side.”
Your mother’s gaze sharpened. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with his recent return to the palace, would it?”
You met her eyes, refusing to back down. “It has everything to do with the fact that I need someone I can rely on. Someone who knows me.”
Your father exchanged a look with your mother, his expression unreadable. Finally, he nodded. “Very well. I will speak to the general about the arrangement.” Then, a little wryly, he adds, “Although, I did hear that it was him that reported you when you were sneaking out in public. Perhaps it would be a fine match.” At that, your mother visibly bristled at the memory of hearing that you were out, unguarded.
At the king’s words, relief washed over you, but it was quickly tempered by your mother’s stern voice. “This is highly unusual, you know. A princess requesting a specific guard. People will talk.”
Inwardly, you rolled your eyes, but showing sass to your mother would mean that she would argue further.  Instead, you went and showed her your pride. “Let them,” you said, lifting your chin. “I don’t care what they say.”
Your father chuckled softly, knowing you would say something of the sort. “Spoken like a true princess.”
“Thank you,” you said, bowing your head. “Both of you, Father and Mother.”
As you left the chamber, your heart raced with a mix of excitement and nervousness. This was your chance—your chance to bring Choso back into your life. Whatever walls he had built between you, you were determined to tear them down.
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The water was warm, steam curling gently around you as you leaned back in the large marble tub. The golden light of the setting sun streamed through the stained-glass windows, casting vibrant patterns across the tiled floor. It was one of the few moments you had to yourself, free from the watchful eyes of attendants and the endless constraints of royal duty. You closed your eyes, sinking deeper into the water, allowing yourself to relax—until the door to your bathing chamber slammed open.
“Your Highness, why did you—” At first, Choso raised his voice slightly, storming in. Then, he stopped right in his tracks as he noticed you, and your face, your neck and then the rest of your body engorged in soapy, steamy water. Blushing furiously, he turned, scrambling for the door. “My apologies, I didn’t mean to—”
He was rigid as he stormed toward the exit, and you couldn’t help but stifle a giggle at the sight. “Choso, wait,” you called, your voice laced with amusement. He stopped abruptly, halting awkwardly in his tracks. “While I appreciate your enthusiasm for your new title,” you teased, “I’d prefer if you didn’t barge into the bathing chamber. Let us count ourselves lucky that you had not seen… more.”
It was nearly impossible not to laugh now. Even the back of his neck was flushed a deep crimson, and it struck you as absurdly endearing. The aloof and stoic soldier who had spent weeks ignoring you had crumbled into a shy boy at the mere sight of you in a tub. You supposed it made sense—he’d likely not had much interaction with women, what with his rigid dedication to the army. Still, his reaction felt... exaggerated.
Choso let out a shaky exhale, his voice strained when he finally spoke. “I apologize,” he said, his tone clipped as though to mask his discomfort. “But I must ask—why did you instate me as your guard?”
The answer was simple, and you played absentmindedly with a soap bubble as you replied, “Because there is no one I trust more than you.”
For a moment, the room was silent save for the faint dripping of water. Then, Choso spoke, his voice low and almost pained. “Why must you do this to me? Why must you torment me so?”
What?
His words pierced through the lighthearted atmosphere, leaving you stunned. A pang of hurt welled in your chest at the sharpness of his tone. “Does it torment you to be in my company?” you asked, laughing scornfully to hide the sting.
When he didn’t answer, the silence was louder than any words could have been.
“If it torments you,” you continued bitterly, “then so be it. You have already had my one liberty stripped away. Mother and Father have doubled the surveillance on me, all thanks to you.” The memory of your recent restrictions only added fuel to the fire of your frustration. “Is this not fair? An eye for an eye, then. Perhaps your torment will teach you to stop pretending you know what’s best for me.”
Still brimming with anger, you lifted your chin and gestured to the door. “You may leave now.”
For a moment, he stood there, the weight of his presence filling the room. Then, with a stiff nod, he turned to the door. “Your Highness,” he murmured, his voice cold and formal.
And then, he was gone.
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You really do abhor dinner parties.
There’s much wrong with them, and if you had to, you could do a systematic rundown of every single grievance. The first and foremost was the absurd inability to properly enjoy the food. The chefs’ hard work deserved to be indulged in, not nibbled delicately with those ridiculous little spoons. And then there was the matter of breathing, which you could barely manage with your waist cinched so tightly and your bodice forcing your chest up like some cruel display. Sitting down practically demanded you forgo the simple luxury of air.
But the worst part? Having to entertain men.
“And I have acquired double the profits of Lord Gojo,” Lord Naoya declared, puffing his chest like a rooster preening in the henhouse. His voice boomed with self-importance, his words spilling out in a showy, rehearsed cadence.
You couldn’t help yourself—you smiled. And while it appeared to him as admiration, it was born of pure amusement. The man clearly thought you were too dim to know better, but you were well-versed in state finances. Lord Naoya’s exaggerated claims were as transparent as glass.
On your right, Choso sat silently, his role as your personal guard justifying his unusually close position. He had been quiet all evening, his eyes scanning the room more than his plate.
“And surely, a woman as lovely as yourself would agree that business acumen is the truest mark of a man’s value,” Naoya continued, leaning closer to you with a smirk you found utterly punchable.
You giggled, not at his words, but at the sheer absurdity of them. You bit your lip to stifle a laugh, but your amusement couldn’t be fully hidden.
When you finally turned to glance at Choso, however, your mirth faltered. He wasn’t looking at Naoya anymore—his dark eyes were locked on you, his brows furrowed, lips pressed into a thin, disapproving line.
He looked very upset.
You blinked, confused, before glancing back at Naoya, who was still prattling on, utterly oblivious. Was Choso… angry at you?
It didn’t make sense. After you had initiated him as your guard, he’d been resigned after that confrontation in your bathing chambers. Ever since, you’d seen him stoic, protective, and even exasperated, but this—this was different. The weight of his gaze lingered on you like a reprimand, and it unsettled you in ways you couldn’t quite explain.
“Your Highness, I trust you’d agree,” Naoya pressed, oblivious to the charged air.
“Agree?” you echoed, snapping back to attention. You hadn’t been listening, too distracted by Choso’s silent brooding. “Oh, of course,” you said vaguely, waving your hand with a polite smile. “I couldn’t agree more.”
Naoya looked pleased with himself, but you barely noticed. Your focus shifted back to Choso, who had turned his head forward, his jaw tight. You leaned closer to him, lowering your voice so only he could hear. “Is something the matter?”
He didn’t look at you, his tone curt. “Nothing, Your Highness.”
Your stomach twisted at the formality. The night had already been exhausting enough, and now Choso was acting like you’d personally offended him.
“Choso,” you pressed, your voice softer now, “if I’ve done something to upset you—”
“It’s not my place to say,” he interrupted, finally looking at you. His gaze was sharp, cutting through your defenses. “But if I may offer counsel, I’d suggest not wasting your smiles on men like him.”
You blinked, taken aback. His words weren’t loud, but they struck with the force of a hammer.
“What does that mean?” you whispered, your amusement long gone, replaced by confusion—and something else you couldn’t quite name.
“It means,” Choso said, his voice low, “that he’s not worth it.”
His words hung in the air between you, heavy with implication.
Before you could respond, the clinking of glasses drew everyone’s attention, and you were forced to look away as a toast was made. But even as the room filled with polite applause and laughter, your thoughts were consumed by Choso’s quiet but pointed remarks.
When you glanced back at him, his focus was elsewhere, his expression carefully neutral. Yet something about the tension in his shoulders told you that the conversation wasn’t over—not really.
And for the rest of the evening, Naoya’s words became nothing more than background noise, drowned out by the quiet storm brewing in Choso’s eyes.
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The air in your chambers was warm, the faint crackle of the fireplace soothing you as your maid finished tugging the laces of your nightgown into place. The fabric was delicate, thin enough to feel the cool evening breeze against your skin despite the room's warmth. With a bow, the maid excused herself, leaving you alone with your thoughts.
Ever since that dinner party with Naoya, Choso had been more distant than ever. Before, it had seemed that he had warmed up to the task of being your guard; whenever you walked through the garden, you eventually warmed him enough that the both of you could converse during the stroll. Of course, it hadn’t returned to what it was like before, but it was still progress. However, now it seemed that all he had to offer was curt responses and avoidant stares. 
The change grated on you, more than you cared to admit. You weren’t naïve; you knew something had shifted that night. The way he had looked at you, the way his words had cut—it all lingered, a splinter in your chest that you couldn’t pull free.
Still, tonight was meant to be routine, a brief reprieve from the emotional turmoil. You always ended your evenings with a massage, a small luxury that helped soothe the tension from the day. Summoning Choso to your chambers, you intended for him to call for the maid who usually performed the task.
When he arrived, his expression was as stony as ever. “You called for me, Your Highness?”
“Yes, Choso,” you said, smoothing your hands over the hem of your nightgown. You lazed back on your chaise lounge, head against pillow as you looked at him. “I need the maid for my massage. Could you fetch her?”
He hesitated. “The maids have retired for the night. Shall I summon someone from the servants’ quarters?”
You frowned. The thought of disturbing anyone at this hour felt excessive. Then, your gaze drifted to Choso, his broad shoulders rigid, his hands clasped behind his back in his usual formal stance. An idea struck you, and you spoke before fully thinking it through.
“Then you’ll do it.”
His dark eyes snapped to yours, wide with disbelief. “Your Highness, I—”
You tilted your head, feigning innocence but unable to fully hide the mischief in your smile. “Oh, come now, Choso. You’re stronger than any maid. Surely, your hands would be better suited for the task.”
For a moment, he simply stared at you as though you’d just declared the sky was green. His lips parted, but no words came out, his gaze darting nervously around the room before settling back on you. “I don’t think that’s… appropriate,” he said carefully, his voice low and strained.
You leaned back slightly, arching a brow. “And why not? It’s just a massage. Surely, as my personal guard, it’s your duty to ensure my comfort, no?”
“Your Highness—”
“Choso,” you interrupted, your tone softening as you leaned forward slightly, letting your hair cascade over one shoulder. “You’ve sworn an oath to protect me. Are you really going to deny me such a simple request? Besides,” you added with a teasing smile, “I trust you. Who better to take care of me?”
His jaw tightened, and he looked away, his shoulders visibly tensing. It was rare to see him so uncharacteristically flustered, and you found it almost endearing. Still, you could see the war waging behind his eyes—the struggle between his rigid sense of propriety and his inability to deny you.
“Choso,” you said again, gentler this time, “it’s just us here. No one else needs to know. Please?”
The word seemed to undo him. After a long, weighted pause, he exhaled sharply, his hands clenching at his sides before he gave a stiff nod. “As you wish, Your Highness.”
You smiled in satisfaction and shifted, lying down on the chaise lounge with your head resting on your folded arms. The thin fabric of your nightgown clung to your back and shoulders, leaving little to the imagination, but you paid it no mind. Choso, however, hesitated, his gaze flickering over you before he finally moved to kneel beside you, his movements almost painfully hesitant.
You settled onto the chaise lounge, lying on your stomach and pulling your hair over one shoulder to expose the curve of your neck. The thin fabric of your nightgown clung to your body, leaving little to the imagination, but you paid no mind to it. Choso, however, lingered for a moment longer than necessary, his dark eyes flickering over the exposed skin before quickly darting away.
The tension in the room was palpable, and though you couldn’t see his face, you could feel his hesitation. The silence stretched, heavy and awkward, until finally, he knelt beside you, his movements stiff and deliberate. His hands hovered just above your shoulders for a moment, as if he were debating whether to go through with it, before he finally made contact.
The first press of his palms was firm, his calloused hands warm against your skin. He worked in silence, but his touch was tentative, almost reluctant, as though every movement was a battle against himself. His fingers found the knots in your shoulders, but his grip tightened slightly as you let out a soft sigh of relief.
“You’re good at this,” you murmured, your voice languid. “I should’ve asked you sooner.”
Choso didn’t respond, but his hands stilled for the briefest moment, his jaw tightening. He resumed a beat later, his touch growing more confident as his fingers moved lower, kneading along the length of your spine. Yet, there was something almost possessive in the way he worked, his hands lingering at the curve of your back, brushing the edges of your nightgown with an intimacy that felt deliberate, even if unspoken.
You couldn’t see his expression, but you could sense the conflict in him—the way his movements wavered between duty and something else entirely. There was a tightness to his breathing, a subtle shift in the way his hands hesitated when they strayed too close to the hem of your gown. It was as if he were fighting an invisible war, one you were only beginning to understand.
Heat pooled in your belly, but the mood shifted when Choso spoke, his voice low and edged with something that made your breath catch.
“Do you let all your guards do this to you?”
Your eyes snapped open, the sharpness of his tone cutting through the haze. You turned your head to look at him, frowning. “What?”
He straightened, pulling his hands away, anger visible on his face. “Do you let all your guards touch you like this, or am I just the special fool?”
The accusation in his voice stung. You sat up on the chaise lounge, clutching the fabric of your nightgown to your chest. “What are you implying?”
“I’m implying,” he said, his eyes dark and filled with something unnameable, “that you smiled at Naoya like he was the only man in the room. That you entertained his nonsense—his lies—like you actually enjoyed it.”
A sharp laugh escaped you, incredulous and hurt. “You think I was flirting with Naoya? That I would ever entertain a fool like him?”
“You did tonight,” Choso shot back, his jaw clenched tightly. “You smiled and laughed at him, as if he deserved it. As if you weren’t above him. The you I knew wouldn’t have entertained someone like Naoya for a second. It’s like I don’t even know you anymore.”
That cut deeper than it should have. Your breath hitched, and frustration welled in your chest, bursting free before you could stop it.
“You don’t know me anymore?” you echoed, your voice trembling with emotion. “Well, Choso, I don’t know you either! You’re the one who left me without a word. You’re the one who never answered my letters, who pushed me away for no reason. You didn’t answer them for years, Choso. For years! How can you stand there and talk about me changing when you’ve done everything you could to shut me out?”
He flinched, as if your words struck a nerve. His gaze fell to the floor, his hands curling into fists at his sides. “I didn’t answer because I thought it was better that way,” he said quietly. “Because I knew… whatever this was—whatever we were—it couldn’t last. I didn’t want to make it harder for you.”
Your heart cracked at his words, tears threatening to spill over. “You didn’t want to make it harder for me?” you repeated, your voice rising. “You made it unbearable, Choso! You didn’t just leave me, you abandoned me. Without explanation, without closure. You were my friend, my closest ally, and you just… disappeared!”
“I was avoiding the inevitable,” he said, his tone low and bitter. “I was saving us both from something that could never be.”
“And why not?” you demanded, stepping closer. “Why couldn’t we have stayed friends? Why couldn’t you have stayed as someone I trusted, someone I could rely on?”
Choso let out a harsh, incredulous laugh, his head bowing as his hands rose to rub at his temples. When he looked back at you, his eyes burned with an intensity that sent a shiver down your spine.
“You think I just want to be your ally?” Choso’s voice cracked, his tone harsh and trembling, a storm barely contained within him. He stepped closer, his shadow stretching toward you in the dim light. His dark eyes blazed, raw and unguarded, piercing straight through you.
“Do you think I want to spend the rest of my life standing at your side, pretending it doesn’t destroy me every time you smile at another man?” he continued, his voice rising with emotion. “Do you think I want to be some nameless figure in your life, someone who exists only to bow, to nod, to follow orders while the rest of the world gets to bask in your warmth?”
Your breath hitched as he took another step, the space between you shrinking.
“I don’t want to be your ally, your friend, or some loyal servant,” he said, his voice dropping to a rough whisper. “I want you. I have always wanted you.”
His confession struck you like lightning, setting every nerve ablaze. You could see the anguish etched into his features, the way his hands shook as if he was struggling to hold himself back.
“I want to touch you without wondering if it’s inappropriate,” he went on, his words tumbling out, unrestrained. “I want to kiss you without the weight of the crown between us. I want to wake up beside you every morning, knowing you’re mine—truly mine—and not just some unattainable dream I’ve been foolish enough to carry.”
“Choso…” you whispered, but he didn’t stop. He couldn’t.
“I want to tear apart every damned rule, every line drawn between us,” he continued, his voice thick with frustration and desire. “I want the world to see that you’re mine—not Naoya’s, not some prince’s, not anyone else’s. Mine.”
He let out a bitter laugh, running a hand through his hair, his composure unraveling further. “But that’s not what the world allows, is it?” he said, his tone laced with venom. “Because I’m not a prince or a duke or anyone worthy of you. I’m just a man—a soldier. And the world says I can’t have you.”
His chest heaved with the force of his confession, and his eyes—God, his eyes—burned with a pain so deep it was almost unbearable to witness.
You swallowed hard, your heart pounding as his words sank in. “You could have had me,” you said, your voice trembling, tears stinging your eyes. “If you’d just stayed, if you’d let me in instead of shutting me out. We could have figured this out together, Choso. I would have fought for you.”
His expression faltered, a flicker of vulnerability breaking through his anger. “And what would you have me do?” he asked hoarsely. “Stand beside you while everyone whispers that I’m unworthy? Watch as suitors line up for your hand, knowing I can’t stop them because it’s my duty to protect you, not love you?”
“I don’t care what the world says!” you burst out, stepping closer, your voice rising with desperation. “I don’t care about duty or station or rules. All I ever wanted was you, Choso. You, as my friend, my ally, my—”
“Your what?” he interrupted, his voice low and rough. “Say it. Say what I’ve been longing to hear and dreading all at once.”
Your breath hitched, tears streaming down your face as you met his gaze. “My everything,” you whispered.
For a moment, the tension between you hung thick and electric, the weight of years of unspoken words pressing down on you both. Then Choso stepped back, his hands clenched into fists at his sides, his jaw tight.
“That’s why I stayed away,” he said quietly, his voice breaking. “Because I knew if I didn’t, I’d lose myself in you completely. And I wouldn’t be able to let you go. This is why I must stay away.” 
For a moment, he lingered there, his hand flexing at his side as if fighting some invisible force. His gaze dropped, and when he finally turned away, it was slow, deliberate, each step a struggle. He didn’t look back as he crossed the threshold, the heavy sound of the door closing behind him echoing in the silence.
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The silence in your room was suffocating. Curtains drawn tightly, the dim flicker of a single candle cast wavering shadows on the stone walls. Plates of untouched food sat on a tray near the door, abandoned by the maids you had dismissed hours ago. The only sound was the faint rustle of your gown as you shifted on the edge of your bed, your arms wrapped around yourself as if trying to hold your broken pieces together.
A soft knock broke the stillness, tentative and almost hesitant. You didn’t answer. You didn’t want to see anyone, let alone speak. Whoever it was would surely leave if you didn’t respond.
But the door creaked open.
Your heart twisted. “I told you all to leave me be,” you said hoarsely, your voice barely louder than a whisper.
“I’m not one of your maids,” came a quiet reply from a voice that was all-too-familiar.
Your head snapped up, breath catching in your throat as Choso stepped into the room, closing the door softly behind him. His dark eyes, always so steady and unreadable, now held an uncharacteristic uncertainty.
“Get out,” you said, your tone sharper than you intended, though the hurt behind it was impossible to mask. “I have nothing to say to you.”
“I know,” he murmured, taking a hesitant step forward. He held something in his hands—a small stack of parchment, edges worn and yellowed. “But I have something to say to you.”
You frowned, your gaze darting to the papers he carried. “What is that?”
“Letters,” Choso said, his voice thick with emotion. He swallowed hard before continuing, “The ones I wrote to you but never sent.”
You stiffened, your heart lurching painfully in your chest. “Why are you showing me this now?”
“Because I should have given them to you a long time ago,” he said simply. “And because I need you to know… what I couldn’t say before. But what I feel I must say now, for I am done with pretending I am not a selfish, selfish man.”
He stepped closer, setting the letters on the bed beside you. For a moment, he hesitated, then knelt before you, his hands resting on his thighs as he looked up at you with a mixture of guilt and determination, as if he had made a decision. And you fight desperately to not yourself believe that, perhaps, he has changed his mind, that he will finally take you in the way you desire.
But you steel your heart as you cautiously look at him. 
“Read them,” he said quietly. “Please.”
Your fingers trembled as you reached for the stack, the paper cool and rough beneath your touch. The first letter was dated years ago, the ink slightly smudged, as if his hand had lingered too long on the words.
My dearest friend,
I’ve written and torn up this letter a dozen times. How do I explain the ache I feel every night I march under foreign stars? How do I explain that even on the battlefield, amidst the chaos, my mind drifts to you? I think of our secret meetings in the garden, the way you’d laugh as you dared me to meet you in the willow tree every night. Do you remember that night we barely escaped the guards? Your laughter, your gown splayed across the forest floor. I dream of those nights—of you leaning close to steal the fruit in my palm, staring up at me, the world disappearing, and wishing I could ask for more. For you close to me not under the pretense of stealing the pomegranate in my hand, but for something more.
Your voice broke as you read, tears pooling in your eyes. Choso remained silent, his head bowed, but you could see the tension in his shoulders, the way his hands curled into fists at his sides.
You moved to the next letter.
The scent of jasmine haunted me on the journey here. Every step of the way, I remembered you crouched beneath the trellis, daring me to pluck the flowers despite the gardener’s wrath. When I handed you the bouquet, your smile made me feel invincible, as though I could conquer kingdoms just to see it again. I wished then that I could have told you the truth—that every reckless moment we shared was a reprieve from the weight of duty. I wanted to kiss you in the moonlight, to tell you that you were more than a dream to me. I tried to, in part, with the hairpin I gave you, one that amplified your gentle beauty even more than I thought possible. But how could I ruin what little time we had?
“Choso,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “Why didn’t you send these?”
“I was a coward,” he admitted, his voice barely audible. “I thought… I thought it was kinder to stay away. To bury how I felt. But it wasn’t kinder, was it?”
You shook your head, unable to speak as you continued reading, each letter peeling away the walls you’d built to protect yourself from the pain of his absence.
When you reached the last letter, your breath hitched.
If I were braver, I’d tell you this to your face: I love you. I’ve loved you since the first time we ran barefoot through the gardens, laughing until we couldn’t breathe. I’ve loved you since you bandaged my hand after my sparring lessons, scolding me and treating me gently as if I weren’t a warrior, as if my rough, damaged hands were worth your care. I love you with a desperation that terrifies me, that kept me awake in camp as I replayed your smile over and over. If I lose you now, it will be my own doing. But still, I love you.
Your tears fell freely now, soaking the parchment. Choso rose slowly, his hands lifting as if to touch you but stopping just shy of your skin.
“Say something,” he pleaded, his voice raw.
Instead, you surged forward, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him down to meet you. Your lips found his in a kiss that was fierce and unrestrained, pouring every ounce of longing, anger, and love into the connection.
Choso froze for a heartbeat before melting into you. The kiss deepened, his lips moving against yours with a hunger that matched your own.
His hands moved to grasp your waist, as if afraid you might vanish. Before they could touch you, he paused as if doubting his ability to be able to touch you. To your frustration, the heat of his almost-contact pulled away. “Your Highness—”
“Choso,” you pleaded, grasping his hands in yours and placing them on their rightful place: your body. You dragged his hands down your torso, helping him explore your curves sensually, intimately as he squeezed his brows together, eyes shut, conveying his inner turmoil. His resolve almost cracked as you begged him, “Take me. Please.”
With agitation, he withdrew his hands from your grasp, painfully clenching them by his sides as he groaned. “Your Highness, you’re playing with fire. I mustn’t. Your body is of a thousand gold, and I would never dare to touch you with my hands—”
But you interrupted him by snorting. “If it is of a thousand gold, or whatever archaic term the royal legends have invented, then you are a thousand gold richer.” You gently took his face in your arms, kissing his forehead. “I am yours, and if you believe that anyone will have my heart after you, then you are most grievously mistaken.” 
He still looked at you, both kneeling on your bed, with a conflicted expression. You gave him a reassuring look before pressing another gentle kiss to his lips. Then, you teased him softly. “Will you not fight for my hand? Will you truly let me be promised to another man after this?”
His eyes darkened in a possessive manner, as he joined his lips against yourself furiously. “I would never,” he punctuated his interruptions with a searing kiss. “let anyone have you after this.”
With tender hands that heavily contrasted his desperation, he slipped the shoulder of your dress, dragging the hem down and down until your breasts were bare to the air. “So, so beautiful,” he whispered before enclosing your nubs in his mouth, kissing them both tenderly.
You could only but gasp, victim to his ministrations as he sneaked another hand up your legs, gently caressing your thighs until he met your core. He groaned, louder than ever, when he was met with the bare heat, wet with your desire and arousal all for him. With painstaking gentleness, he eased a finger in, drinking in your moans and sounds of pleasure. 
He couldn’t help but smile at the small scream that escaped you when he curled his fingers up. It seemed he had found the place that pleasured you most, one that you had stayed unbeknownst to. And he definitely couldn’t stop himself from torturing and repeatedly hitting against it with the way squeals of his name left your mouth whenever he did so.
Before you knew it, an unknown feeling washed over you as Choso kept continuing his touches, one that seemed like worship with how he was looking for your reactions, for your pleasure. A gush of slick escaped you, and Choso kissed your breasts one final time before drawing out his finger.
You peered down at him, flushed, as his eyes stayed trained on you while he slowly drew his finger inside his mouth, seeming to savor your taste. At last, he pulled it away from his mouth and asked, voice hoarse, “how are you feeling?”
You laugh bashfully and look away, blushing. “You know you don’t need to ask that. But,” and you pause, looking at him through your lashes, “you know I want more.”
The flush that was only apparent on his cheeks spread to his entire face and neck and he whines as he buries his face in your breasts once more, now to evade eye contact. “Don’t say things like that. It makes holding back even more arduous.”
You stroke his hair, smiling softly. “Would you have any qualms about taking my…maidenhood if you were my husband.”
His answer is immediate. “Absolutely not.”
“So you want to…make love with me?” You heat up at your own words, nervously looking at him in fear of his rejection.
He pauses, but then slowly nods. “Well, yes, but—”
“Then we shall put archaic traditions aside. Choso,” and you look at him mischievously as he squints at you, “I command you to make love to me.”
The reaction is immediate. As if animated again, he pins you down against your mattress, eyes feral as he takes your lips with his once more. With both hands, a riiiip echoes across the room as he entirely tears your shift in his bare hands. Mind you, it was not weak material, and you lay dumbfounded as he strips his shirt off.
You don’t even have time to admire his bare torso, muscled as you knew it would be. Your eyes automatically trail down to the string of hair that leads down to his v-line as he rids himself of his trousers. 
What gets uncovered makes you pray for your life, and you gasp, eyes wide. “How is that even supposed to go inside—”
He says your name, reassuringly, as he presses a soft kiss to your forehead. “I will take the utmost care of you. I promise.” He lines his length with your entrance, and, with another kiss, he pushes in gently.
When his member first breaches you, you gasp, dizzied by the fullness. Then, as he slowly bottoms out, you whine while impaled on his cock. “More.”
Basking in the euphoria of your clenching heat around him, at your request, he curses. He pulls out his length—slowly, gently—and then slams back in, and you squeal, whispering a breathless utter of his name once more. 
He continues making love to you, the sounds of his devotion echoing across the room. When you both climax, it is down with a prayer of the other’s name, as a promise. That you are both each other’s, and no qualms about proprietary and status could any longer apprehend either of you.
When the both of you settle down, him having gently cleaned you with a cloth, he collapses next to you in bed, bare arms engulfing you and pulling you closer. As you both lie there, skin to skin, you giggle at your own thoughts.
At the sound, Choso perks up, looking at you in soft amusement. “What’s the matter, my love?”
Ignoring the way your heart fluttered at the nickname, you replied, “I daresay you will be the strongest prince consort in the history of our kingdom.”
The mention of the weak nobles that had ascended the throne in centuries past makes him snicker smugly. “I would agree,” he muses, amused like you. “They would not have been as tall as me, or as strong, or as good in bed—-”
“Choso!” you squealed, grabbing a pillow and smacking him with it.
Grinning like a devil, he dodged with ease, catching your wrist and pulling you down onto the bed. Before you could protest, he wrestled himself on top of you, pinning your arms above your head and smothering you in kisses.
After his barrage was over, he turned solemn once more. “I’m serious,” he murmured, his tone softer, more sincere. His dark eyes searched yours, and his voice dropped to a near whisper. “I’ll protect you, stand beside you, love you until my last breath. You’re my queen in every way that matters. And no matter what, I’ll never leave your side again.”
Your breath hitched, his words settling deep in your chest. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, but you smiled, warmth flooding your heart. “And I’ll hold you to that, my love.”
He leaned down, capturing your lips in a kiss that was equal parts promise and devotion. It wasn’t hurried or frenzied, but slow, a tangible declaration of everything you both had endured to reach this moment. Here, in the quiet of your chamber, with his weight grounding you and his lips marking you as his, you found the only place you wanted to be—by his side, now and always.
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a/n AHH HI POOKIES!! I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKED MY FIRST CHOSO FIC?? let me know if i do him justice this was written with my pussy and me having a specific hyperfixation :3 anyways i really enjoyed writing this and i hope you guys did too :')
comment and reblog to let me know ur thots ;3
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aprilthearcher · 7 months ago
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replaying your laughter
harry potter x slytherin!fem!reader ― Harry has a crush on a Slytherin, which could collapse the entire school, but he doesn't seem to care much.
slightly inspired by 'message in a bottle' by taylor swift. there could be a second part if anyone's interested in it. don't forget to like, or reblog, or leave a comment! those are always appreaciated.
word count: 1.4k
part two (covered in you)
#masterlist!
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Harry was sure that half – maybe even more than half – of Gryffindors House would never forgive him for having a crush on a Slytherin. Yet, Harry couldn’t really bring himself to care. The lot of them had called him a liar just last year, and none of them, friends or not, had the right to tell him who was appropriate enough or not to go on a date with. 
It was hard not to miss her when she was one of the few Slytherins in Harry’s year who had never insulted him nor any of his friends. As a half-blood, she didn’t care about ‘blood traitors’ or muggleborns nor was she a member of Malfoy’s gang. Also, the fact that she was best friends with Luna Lovegood made her trustworthy in Harry’s eyes. 
Although they had shared many classes during their years at Hogwarts, Harry didn’t know when he’d started to feel this way towards her. Had it been during their third year, after he’d seen her yell curses at Marcus Flint because he didn’t want girls in the Slytherin Quidditch Team? Had it been during their fourth year, after he saw her in an elegant, deep blue gown at the Yule Ball dancing with a Ravenclaw a year older than them? Had it been during their fifth year, after he’d seen her comfort two first years from Slytherin and Hufflepuff that had spent their afternoon in Umbridge’s office? Had these feelings been there since he’d met her on the train in their first year after she couldn’t find her older sister? 
Has he always been so clueless? 
Now, despite the fact that this recently discovered crush made Harry’s heart almost burst out of his chest any time he’d see her – whether in real life or in his dreams –, it didn’t mean that he would easily hand the victory to Slytherin in the match they were about to play. 
Standing face to face with Urquhart, Slytherin’s new Quidditch Captain, Harry tried to avoid her eyes and how imposing she looked dressed in the deepest hue of emerald green. Still, when Madame Hooch blew the whistle, Harry couldn’t help but raise his head in her direction. Her eyes quickly settled on his, and Harry almost punched himself for being the first one to look away. 
Up in the sky, a hand on his broom keeping him steady, he thought he’d have a moment of peace from her. But, in his defence, flying round the pitch looking for the snitch and making sure that his team was playing well eventually led him to find the force of nature that was her on top of a broom. Watching the speed at which she flew, Harry was somewhat relieved that she had never intended to become a Seeker. Yet, as magnificent as she was with a Quaffle in her hands, Ron’s confidence that there was Liquid Luck running through his system managed to block all of the shots she’d thrown at him. Anyone could tell from the look on her face and her stance on her broom that she wanted to rip off Ron’s head, probably use it to mark a few points as well. Her kindness, Harry realised then, did not make her less of a competitive hothead.
The match finished with the snitch in Harry’s hands, granting yet another win to Gryffindor. A smile on his face, he let his eyes trail over his team, each with a grin on their faces as big as his. He saw Ron lifting both of his arms, celebrating with the scarlet and gold crowd, and Ginny dive-bombing into the podium from where Zacharias Smith had been calling the match. 
Harry looked for her once more, finding her already on the ground with the rest of the Slytherin Quidditch Team. He’d started descending when he saw what seemed to be a fight between her and Urquhart. The Slytherin Quidditch Team had a finger pointed to her chest, which she quickly dismissed with a jab of her hand and a hissed that Harry got to hear as a ‘Don’t fucking touch me’. This infuriated Urquhart more, making him get closer to her face, but with only a stamp of her foot, she sent him flying backwards. 
Madame Hooch’s whistle blew loudly across the pitch, and the crowd finally caught on what was happening. Harry saw them go from celebrating, or sulking in the case of the silver and green sea of people, to whispering excitedly about the tussle. Urquhart was now marching in her direction, though Harry noticed some hesitation on his pace when the determination settled on her face. He had known, not that Harry spent a lot of time observing her, that she was very capable at wandless magic. In Urquhart’s case, he was always ready to start a brawl, yet he never saw through; opting, instead, to play it cool when he realised that he wouldn’t come out triumphant. 
Because of some kind of instinct, Harry drew closer to the Slytherin Quidditch Team, standing a few paces behind her. Zabini observed him, his eyes were narrowed and his arms were crossed; it was clear he wasn’t there to stop his teammates from fighting each other. Suddenly, Snape stood between Urquhart and (Y/N). His face was rougher than usual and with only a few words he sent the Slytherin Captain back to the castle. Then, Snape turned to them, raising his eyebrows at the sight of Harry.
“Potter, shouldn’t you be celebrating?” Said Snape. The mere mention of the word ‘celebrating’ added a layer of disgust to his face. “Or is it that you cannot bear that the attention is not on you?”
Before answering, he looked at her. She had glanced back at him at the mention of his name, clearly surprised that he was here. Their eyes met for a brief second, one in which Harry noted the colour of his eyes was similar to that of her robes. 
“I was only making sure that none of the players of your house got hurt. Seeing as Malfoy wasn’t here to play today, to get yet another replacement would surely affect the team.”
“How… heroic. Always ready to save the day, Potter.” Harry smiled sarcastically at Snape’s comment. “Miss, I expect to see you at my office tomorrow morning. We will discuss your detention.”
“Detention? Urquhart was the one to start the fight. He was the one yelling at me and getting all over my face.” Harry was certain that weren’t for the fact that Snape was a professor and the Head of her House, he would have suffered the same fate as Urquhart, thrown back across the pitch. He stopped himself from laughing at the mental picture of that. 
“It’s not up to discussion, but if you keep complaining you will do a month of detention rather than two weeks.” With her silence and the matter already settled, Snape started walking towards the castle, Zabini and the rest followed him.
Now that the two of them were alone, Harry didn’t know what to say. The bleachers were emptying, some members of his team had already left the pitch. 
“Um, thanks for that, I guess,” she mumbled. It seemed she didn’t know what to say either. 
“Uh, yeah, no problem.”
There was another moment of silence where both of them avoided each other’s gaze, looking at their shoes or the brown gloves on their hands.
“What did- What did Urquhart say to you?” Harry asked. He was curious, but he also wanted to keep talking to her. 
“He basically blamed the loss on me, saying I wasn’t fast enough or my aim was off, which could be true, but it’s not as if the rest of the team got the same. He said it to me because I’m the only girl, so…”
“So he’s a prick and no better than Flint.”
She laughed at that, softly and probably reminiscing that time she cursed him for not wanting to put her on the team. Harry swore that if he could hear that laugh play in the back of his mind forever, he wouldn’t need anything else. It would be her laugh that’d spurred him on. He thought about running to Dumbledore’s office and using the pensieve to replay this moment over and over again.
“Yeah, at least Montague would yell at all of us.” She mentioned while beginning to play with the strap on her gloves. “Anyways, I think it’s time for me to get back, and you have a win to celebrate.”
“Yeah, yeah, I do. But, um, you played well today. You’re a great Chaser.”
She whispered a small ‘thanks’, biting her lower lip in an attempt to contain the grin that was about to erupt in her face. 
thank you for reading!
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aprilthearcher · 7 months ago
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“aren’t i lucky,” remus murmured wistfully, “to have an angel say that about me”
i’m fucking dizzy, HE makes me dizzy!!!
did my heart love till now?
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remus lupin x fem!reader | she’s a hopeless romantic who loves halloween. he loves her. or at least he very, very, strongly likes her in a way he’s never liked anyone else. enough to wear matching costumes
upcoming content: fluff! mentions of alcohol. lmk if you think i missed anything
authors note: i hope you like this! romeo & juliet is my favorite play and the 1996 film is my favorite movie! and remus is my favorite boy :’)!
word count: 2k
masterlist
remus had been staring at himself in the mirror for so long his reflection was starting to blur, like a watercolor painting made up of the soft brown of his hair, his pale complexion, and shining silver. he felt like a fool. “a lovesick fool,” james would say, but in this moment, he just felt like a fool. period.
“hey moony, have you decided what you’re going to be for halloween yet?” sirius asked as soon as he and james barged into their shared apartment. remus tore his gaze from his book at the sound of his best friend’s unnatural sounding greeting, loud and jilted as if he’d been practicing it.
“…no, wh-“
“well look no further!” james very enthusiastically exclaimed, pulling a brown bag out from behind his back which promptly fell to the ground, the contents now hanging between him and sirius. it was a knights armor. metal shoulder pads atop a slinky silver long sleeve top with chains resting across the chest.
“what the fuck is that?”
“your halloween costume!” james said as if it were obvious.
remus could do nothing but look at his two friends, who he cared for very deeply, as if they were right idiots.
“don’t you get it?” sirius asked, “it’s romeo!”
remus then felt his face red, heat rising to his cheeks all the way to his ears and he knew he couldn’t play dumb to get out of this.
last week at dinner you had said that you were planning on dressing as juliet for halloween. “from the movie of course!”
“isn’t that part of a couples costume?” marlene asked, “are you bringing a mystery man with you to my party?”
at that, remus tensed, his shoulders instinctively rising to his ears and his heart quickened waiting for your response. he hung out with you pretty much every day, you’re tight knit friend group always sharing at least one meal together. he felt like he would know if you had a boyfriend, but he was still feeling queasy waiting for your answer.
“no mystery men with me! i guess it could be a couple’s costume, but it’s so pretty, i don’t mind doing it solo.”
remus felt his body relax and continued to pick at his food, stealing glances at you whenever he could, missing the mischievous looks being traded between james and sirius.
“i am not wearing that,” remus said resolutely.
“why not? girls love this stuff!” sirius responded, tossing the costume on remus’ lap. he refused to touch it, as if any sign that he openly had feelings for you would somehow come back to bite him in the ass. it rested on his legs like an anchor.
“you want me to surprise her with a matching costume? that’s pathetic.”
“it’s sweet!” james stressed.
“yeah, and she’s always so heart eyed over that gooey romance shit, you show up in this and she’ll be begging for it!”
sirius’ crude comments was met with a smack in the head from james and an unimpressed stare from remus.
“remus, i’m telling you, this is a perfect idea! she’s single and dressing as one half of the greatest couples in history, if you show up as the other half, oh it’ll be like straight out of the pictures!” james swooned. remus felt his heart soften at his overdramatic friend, who he knew was just trying to help him be happy, but his nerves overpowered any convincing.
“you do know they both die at the end, right? kill themselves, even. not sure that’s a message i want to send.” remus muttered, standing up from the couch to go to his room, tired of his friend’s antics.
“you’ll never get a date by just staring at her, mate!” james called out, “and she’s well fit, too! you’re time is running out and you know it!” sirius added as remus walked down the hall, the metal costume in tow, only to be shoved in his closet.
but as halloween inched closer and his feelings for you only grew stronger, james and sirius’ words echoed in his head. he could never get the thought of your soft voice and sweet smile out of his mind, he liked you. so much.
you were always the one who kept listening to him when whatever he was saying was drowned out by the group. always spoke to him in dulcet tones, especially when you felt he had a headache. you were smart and funny and kind, not to mention beautiful. beautiful in a way that reminded him of the princesses and angels he would read about in books when he was a child. soft and warm, a glow seemingly always emanating from your figure.
remus would be content with just looking at you for the rest of his life, he thinks (deep down in the back of his brain, terrified of the strength of his own feelings) but it would be nice to do it without the feat of getting caught by your stare, or his friends taking the mick out of him afterwards.
so here he stood, his torso slightly weighed down by the heavy detailing, but it fit him well nonetheless. it was almost time for them to leave for marlene’s and remus could hear his friends in the living room. he had to make a decision soon.
“y’coming, moony?” james asked through the door.
remus took a deep breath, biting off a square of chocolate. he could do this. it was halloween! you’re supposed to be in a costume. and the film was popular enough, he figured, that he could play it off as a coincidence if things went south.
“…yeah, i’m coming.” he stepped out the door and walked down the hall, rolling his eyes at james’ loud gasp.
“oh my god you’re wearing it!” james practically screeched.
“don’t make me change my mind.”
“oh remus, you’re so handsome!” sirius teased in a high pitched voice, “please be my romeo!”
“for it is the east, and juliet is the sun!” james recited.
“that’s it, i’m changing!” remus exclaimed, only to be dragged back by his waist and walked out the door.
remus was hit by the noise of the party as soon as marlene swung the door open. her eyes trailed down james’ superhero outfit, sirius dressed as patrick bateman, and then remus, her face exploding in an open mouth smile. “reeeeemussss!!!!” she squealed, clearly already on her way to drunk, “you’re such a sweetheart!” she cooed, remus’ cheeks reddening more than he thought possible.
“isn’t he just? now let us in marls, it’s fucking freezing out here!” sirius said, and with a pat on the back, he and james were emerged in the crowd.
“she isn’t here yet, remus, but oh my god she’s going to love it,”
as the night went on remus had practically glued himself to marlene’s increasingly wasted side all night, no sign of james or sirius (who he would bet money are upstairs with dates, or each other), and more importantly no sign of you. he was feeling more foolish by the minute, the metal top growing uncomfortable against his sweaty skin.
disappointed was pooling in his stomach as marlene was nodding off on his shoulder, or so he thought, but he was brought out of his thoughts when a loud yelp escaped her. “you’re here! finally!”
marlene jumped up and stumbled over to a vision in white. flowing silk draped over your body, delicate, feathered wings pinned to your back. excess fabric tied around your waist, framing you beautifully. stunningly. remus felt like he was having an out of body experience, watching himself stand frozen in the middle of the living room, mouth slightly agape, willing himself to do anything other than stare.
“REEEEMUS LOOK! LOOK WHO IT IS!” marlene shout-whispered, shoving you towards him.
you felt your breath escape you at the sight. remus, tall and sweet, looking down at you, his tussled hair dancing across his forehead and his long fingers reached up to brush it out of his eyes, hand trembling. you weren’t fully convinced you weren’t dreaming.
“she, she’s pretty out of it,” he spoke softly, referring to marlene who was now dancing with a lamp.
“y-you look, i-i really like your costume, obviously” you murmured, fiddling with your hands, resisting the urge to run your hand down his sculpted cheeks.
ever since you met him, you believed remus was one of the most beautiful people you’ve ever seen. and then once you got to know him, got to experience first hand his limitless kindness, his witty remarks that always put the boys teasing to shame, and his rare barking laugh that only comes out when he finds something really funny (you elicited it from him once and have spent forever chasing that high).
all your friends said he had a thing for you. that he was always staring at you with soft, hooded eyes, move his plans around for you whenever you asked to study together, rest his jacket on the seat next to him so it would appear taken so no one else would sit down it it until you came.
but you were both famously mild-mannered, shy to a fault, and your feelings never rose to the surface, but the same couldn’t be said for right now.
“oh, thank you,” remus responded, “i thought it would be nice if we could match.”
a giggle escaped you at that and you looked down, unable to meet his eye, you both wearing twin smiles.
absolutely thrilled with your reaction, remus bent his body in half, tilting his head up to catch your gaze, eyes filled with hope, “what’d y’think?”
“i think you look very dashing, rem, i didn’t know you were a shakespeare fan.”
“hmm, not so much,” with a deep breath he let out, “i’m a fan of you, though”
the neon lights flashing over you both contributed to the bubble you found yourselves in. the rowdy guests nothing but white noise as you felt your heart pound against your chest over the soft spoken boy.
“really?” it slipped out. deep seeded insecurity worming it’s way to the forefront as you were positively overwhelmed with confronting your feelings… and that who you had them for.
remus’ heart splintered a little at your warbling ask, “yes” he let out, easy as breathing, “of course.” he placed a large hand on your shoulder, his thumb dancing on the edge of your collarbone.
“i’m a fan of you, too. more than anyone else,” you whispered with a step closer, your white ballet flats lightly knocking against the tips of his black boots, the space between you dwindling.
“aren’t i lucky,” remus murmured wistfully, “to have an angel say that about me”
with that you couldn’t take it anymore and pressed your lips to his, immediately getting lost in the sparks. unsure of what to do with your arms, you awkwardly placed them on remus’ forearms, as if you were holding him still in place. he smiled against your lips, the breath escaping from his chuckle dancing across your face as he lightly dragged your hands up his chest to rest on his shoulders.
you melted as he pulled you in, you gasped as he ran his tongue against your bottom lip, you chased after his lips when he pulled away with a stuttering breath. “y’have to give me a minute angel, or m’heart’s going to give out,”
you giggled, knowing exactly how he felt as he tucked his face into your neck.
“oi oi, c’mon lupin! what did i tell ya! i knew you could do it!” sirius shouted from across the room, thrusting his cup in the air in congratulations.
“oh christ,” remus muttered, his annoyance dissipating with your laugh.
“you are a lover, moony! borrow *hic* cupid's wings and soar with *hic* them above common ground!” james, although very drunk and hiccuping, recited.
all remus could do was roll his eyes, he had everything he wanted right in front of him. after he was done kissing you until the sun came up (and a little bit more after that), he could figure out when the fuck james seemingly memorized romeo and juliet.
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aprilthearcher · 7 months ago
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shut up this is so cute!!!! 😭
pahinga (rest)
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remus lupin x fem!reader | 1.7k
summary: remus can’t sleep again. luckily, you come to save him, and he finds his rest in you. cw/tags: self-deprecation, slight anxiety (?), three little eepy bois and one (1) insomniac, peter pettigrew appears (he’s not corrupted here), hurt/comfort <3 note: 'pahinga' means rest in filipino. its root word, 'hinga,' means 'to breathe/breath.' the 'pa' part can make it literally mean, 'let me breathe.' also, u can never have too much “reader patches up remus after a full moon” fics 🥰🥰 p.s. the vibes are inspired from isa lang (only one) by arthur nery <3
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It’s way past midnight in the Hospital Wing, and Remus knows this because his friends are knocked out around him; James is sprawled out like a starfish on a cot to his left, Sirius laid asleep at the edge of Remus’ own cot, and Peter had long since made himself comfortable in the cot on the right, curled up in a blanket. 
Usually, they’d be up late with Remus. Something about boys being boys, having an endless amount of energy surging within themselves. But they were also only human at the end of the day, despite being unregistered Animagi. 
Remus also knows that he should be asleep himself alongside his best friends, but this particular night had taken a toll on him. Sure, he’s had full moon nights happening every month, every year, ever since he was turned at four years old. But regardless of how frequent they took place, it never became easy to deal with for the lycanthrope. Especially not now while he’s unable to sleep.
Poor Madam Pomfrey—she’d given Remus countless potions to aid him in his condition, time and time again. But it seems like even the Sleeping Draught that was brewed for him earlier just couldn’t work on him either.
Thinking about failing to fall asleep is ironically keeping him from falling asleep. Remus Lupin is, quite frankly, stressing out about not being asleep yet. He knows he needs it, so why can’t he do it? He almost feels immensely envious of how easy it was for his own friends to have fallen asleep quicker than he did, and he was the one who turned into a werewolf that night. 
Remus turns his head to get a look at Sirius’ slumbering face where it lay at the edge of his cot. Sirius is a handsome being, whether asleep or not. But right now, his wide-awake friend doesn’t know whether to be glad because he gets to appreciate his friend’s company because he’s asleep, or if said friend should be frustrated for the very same reason.
Before Remus even gets to decide however, he hears footsteps scurrying towards the entrance of the Hospital Wing. He perks up at the sound, attempting to sit up in his cot but failing, wincing as he was reminded of his injuries.
He doesn’t know which comes first: the sound of the double doors being pushed open or the bags of chocolate falling to the ground, coming from your arms.
Remus’ bleary eyes flicker over to your incoming presence - how he knows you’re here for him is needless to say with the bags of chocolate you’re re-gathering in your arms presently. He sees you throw an apologetic glance, mouthing “sorry,” but Remus receives it with a lazy smile, more amused and fond than it was teasing.
“Hope I didn’t wake them,” You whisper to him as you approach his cot, looking warily at the three slumbering boys surrounding him. Remus feels compelled to follow your gaze towards them, address that you didn’t actually wake them (and he’s certain that you didn’t, the lads sleep like a log), but his eyes remain on you as well as his smile.
“What’re you doing here?” He murmurs.
You scoff quietly, giving him an incredulous look. “What, not even a ‘hello, how are you?’ You’ve changed, Lupin.” 
Remus’ smile widens at your words, the familiar banter bringing a lighthearted feeling in his chest. He doesn’t know if it’s because of his fatigue mixed with frustration that’s making him feel lightheaded, but he finds himself momentarily entranced by the sight of you as you start to near him in his cot. The moonlight which filtered through the windows finally landed on your features, and Remus was convinced at that moment that he’s met an angel in person: you.
“Anywho, I come bearing gifts,” You perch yourself on the edge of his cot, setting down the array of chocolates beside him. Remus shifts so that there’s more room for you in his bed.
He looks down at the sweets, the corners of his lips quirking up into a lazy smile, then looks back up to you. 
“Dark or milk?” Remus asks.
You furrow your eyebrows, giving him an incredulous look to which the boy grins at. “Milk, duh. I’m not dumb, Remus. You only go for dark when you’re feeling fancy.”
It’s true; Remus doesn’t like dark chocolate as much as he likes milk chocolate, which is a classic and a whole lot sweeter than the former. He tries not to think too hard about how you knew that about himself like it was just sitting casually in the place of your mind. He wonders, then, about what else you knew about him, and took care to remember and save for times like this. His heart races at the thought. 
“Did you come all the way here to butcher me for my taste in chocolate? Flattering, really,” Remus quips, reaching for one of the chocolates.
“No. I came here to do just that and more actually,” You mirror his actions, unwrapping the chocolate from its plastic shell, popping the whole treat in your mouth all in one go. 
It’s a lot more attractive than Remus would like to admit - you being so unapologetically yourself, uncaring about being seen as prim and proper. Here you are, sitting in front of him, munching on the chocolates you’ve brought him and looking like a squirrel stuffing nuts in its mouth for the winter. Adorable, he thinks.
But then your eyes narrow at him, and he’s caught in the act of shamelessly staring at you. It’s only then that he realizes that he has been staring at you.
“See something you like?” You wriggle your eyebrows suggestively, reaching for another chocolate from the dwindling bunch on the bed.
“No,” His voice comes out a little breathy, an octave a tad higher than what’s normal. Remus clears his throat. “Just- it’s amazing how you keep going.”
You pause mid-bite into another chocolate drop, putting it back inside its plastic wrap with a sheepish smile. “Right, I brought these for you. Not for me.”
“S’alright,” Remus smiles fondly at your suddenly shy expression. “I couldn’t finish them all by myself, anyway.”
A soft chuckle falls from your lips, shoulders relaxing from his reassuring words. Even in such a state, Remus still goes out of his way to make sure people are cared for in his own, heartwarming ways. But rarely does he ever take the time to inflict the same kind of treatment to himself. 
And, speaking of which—
“I thought you’d be asleep, you know,” You blurt out all of a sudden, fidgeting with the unwrapped, uneaten chocolate in your hands. “coming here. So… why aren’t you?”
“Dunno,” Remus lets out a deep sigh, his fatigue finally coming through in his expression. Your chest tightens at the sight and sound of it.
Finally, he finishes, saying, “I just… can’t.”
Almost instantly, a knot forms between your brows at the same time the corners of your lips turn downwards into a slight frown. Remus hates being pitied. He’s had enough of people apologizing on his behalf, as if he had been a mistake in the first place long before he was given this unfortunate tragedy, a weight he has to bear on his shoulders for the rest of his life. 
But with you, it’s never pity that he sees in your eyes when you look at him. It’s something warmer, something that’s coming from a deeper place of intent. Something like care—genuine care, and concern. Perhaps there’s more than that, but Remus is already dizzy enough as it is right now, and he doesn’t want to render himself unconscious just because he’s feeling a little lovesick by you. 
“Oh no, I’m keeping you up, aren’t I?” You say, and Remus is a bit startled by it. You don’t notice. “Should I leave? I– I feel like I should leave—”
“No, no. Just—” Stay.
Remus reminds himself to be very careful with his next words, lest he betrays his true feelings and ruins one of the few good things he has in his godforsaken life. 
Another thing that he hates is owing people something, or anything really. It’s no big deal for him to go out of his way and be the giver rather than the receiver out of a pair, but it bothers him to no end to think that he’d actually have people do something—anything just for him. 
For some reason, it just feels… wrong for him. Almost as if Remus believes that he doesn’t deserve that kind of treatment. 
But for the love of Merlin, he’d really like to get some sleep, and he really likes you being here with him. And if you walked right out of the Hospital Wing right now, leaving him alone, Remus is certain that he’d be getting no sleep at all. 
So, just this once, he’ll be selfish. 
“Just… just talk to me. Tell me about your night.” 
You furrow your eyebrows, a slightly amused smile coming alive on your face as you ask, “My night? Well, my night’s going pretty well right now.”
Remus rolls his eyes, but the smile on his face betrays his true emotions. “Tell me about your day, then.” 
Now, a full-blown grin takes place on your face. “Now that I can do.”
And so, you start telling him about your day in a hushed voice, careful not to be too loud as you recount something that had made you happy during the day so as not to wake the other three boys you’re surrounded by. 
Far along the way as you’re speaking to him, your hands—yours and his—drift closer and closer to each other. Remus wonders if you notice this, even as you’ve taken ahold of it now and started to play with his fingers absentmindedly.
Before he knew it, he was on the way to dreamland by the ticklish yet gentle feeling of you tracing the lines of his palm, coupled by the soft timbre of your voice, low and sweet. 
It is then that Remus realizes that he finds his absolute rest in you. 
A shame that he managed to miss the featherlight kiss you leave on his forehead as you bid him a good night, though. 
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aaa thank you for reading! (づ ̄ 3 ̄)づ as always, likes, replies, and reblogs are very much appreciated !! <3
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aprilthearcher · 7 months ago
Text
I'll be on my way
remus lupin x fem!reader - set during the events of the First Wizarding War, Remus has a hard time accepting the truth: his partner has been captured by Death Eaters during what was supposed to be a 'low-risk' mission.
inspired by 'If It's True' and 'Wait For Me' from the musical Hadestown, (specifically Dónal Finn's Orpheus).
reader is Moody's cousin because why not?
warnings: angst but happy ending, mentions of torture, violence, death.
#masterlist.
The ringing in his ears overpowered every scream, discussion, or sob that was currently haunting the kitchen of one of the Order’s safe houses. He could feel his eyes watering, yet no tears soared his cheeks. His blurry eyes could barely distinguish the figures moving round the small room. Two shadows were sitting at the wooden table, one with their head between their arms while the other was staring at him, waiting. More shadows were entering and exciting the kitchen through the same door she had walked through just a few hours ago. It was chaos. All of it. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to react.
  It was not that he was feeling nothing. On the contrary, it was that he was feeling so much at the same time that he could hardly move. His troubled emotions had taken control over his mind, body, and soul; the confusion and the grief and the pain and the lack of belief, they all paralyzed his body. 
Someone’s hand grabbed his shoulder, shaking him hard. They must have realised he was in some state of shock. 
But how could he? How could he be in shock? It wasn’t true what they had said. 
How could he not be in shock? 
Was it true what they had said? 
He could feel himself spiraling.
He could hear someone calling him from a distance, whispering his name with hesitation at first. It grew louder, it became clearer, it was firmer. Then, he noticed it was not from a distance that he was being called, but that the voice belonged to the same person who was grabbing and shaking his shoulders. James’ voice was powerful and grounding. James’ voice was a beacon casting its shining light on the dense darkness that now plagued his mind. 
“I know it’s fucking hard, brother, but I need you to be on your right mind,” James looked him in the eyes. He waited for Remus’ eyes to focus before he spoke again. “Some of the others don’t want me to do this, you’re too compromised or whatever,” – He began to understand what James was trying to get at, yet before he did something that would prove their point, James shook his head and with a hand raised between them that was telling him to calm down, and Remus listened because it was James. He knew he could trust him with his own life as well as hers. “I want to ask you if you’re up to it, but for that you need to clear your head. It’s true that you’re too compromised for this, but if… if it… if it were Lily who had been t-taken, then I know,” James breathed hard through his nose. “I know I’d want to go and do anything, everything, to get her back. So I’m giving you the choice.”
James didn’t really need to hear the answer come out of Remus’ mouth. Some part of James was truly asking, some other part was screaming at him that he was just wasting time while his best friend was probably being tortured; some big part of him knew he needn’t have asked. Some part of him still wanted to. James couldn’t lose the two of them, yet he knew some part of Remus was breaking inside. He could feel Remus’ mind or consciousness, even Remus’ soul, leaving him the moment he heard the news. It had taken some minutes to pull it back in him. James had begun to think he was not strong enough to help his friend. 
“Is - Is it true?” It took a second or two for James to realise that Remus had spoken, he had probably never sounded this vulnerable since that night the boys had discovered the truth behind the lies that slipped from his lips every month. The truth was darker this time around. “James, tell me.”
Suddenly, it was James who could no longer speak. He only closed his eyes and that was all the confirmation Remus needed. 
Remus had never felt such rage invade his body, nor such motivation and adrenaline pumping in his veins. It was hard to keep the anger from lashing out, but it would do more harm than good. He tried to think of her, what she would say in a moment like this, where his instincts and his rational mind were battling to gain the control of his actions; where he could feel himself slipping back into this almost catatonic state, as mentally lost as she physically was. Where there is a will, there is a way. Her words rang loudly in his head.
Where there is a will, there is a way, he repeated. 
“I want the Prewetts to come with us. Dorcas too.” Remus said. James nodded at the same time Remus was getting up from his position against the kitchen counter, it was where he had found support enough to keep himself on his feet when he heard Moody’s grave tone. She hasn’t sent her Patronus. She was supposed to cast it an hour and a half ago. Remus forced himself to forget Moody’s crestfallen expression when he announced the news or else he was sure he was going to be sick.
If it had been up to Remus, he would’ve dashed through the door and gotten his girl back the minute he had regained his senses. Yet, the Order liked to follow certain procedures that, for Remus, were wasting his time rather than helping him. Nevertheless, Moody would’ve never agreed to leave the house without a (more or less) established plan, even when it seemed to be engraving his youngest cousin’s peril; especially, because of her peril would he make a plan that wouldn’t end up with one of them dead. Remus, though, could not seem to wrap his head around planning, and route escapes, and more planning; he was antsy to leave, believing that it didn’t matter how many plans Moody could come up with, they were all going to end up being useless because these days something always seemed to go wrong. 
Remus hoped, prayed, begged for things to go right this time. She would have to wait for him, to survive until he got there. He hoped there was some part of her that was still able to wait. He ignored, or tried to, the vivid images of her being tortured that were conjured up by his own mind. Instead, he thought of her shining smile, her bubbly laugh, her kind eyes, her soft lips. Godric, he hoped there was some part of her that knew he was on his way.
James knew better than to say something, but he also knew that her being missing was already costing Remus’ sanity. He didn’t fully comprehend the concept of praying — Lily had tried to explain to him how ‘religions’ worked in the Muggle world — still, James closed his eyes and requested to whomever was listening that she was alive and well. He did not want to lose two of his best friends tonight. 
━━━━━━✧❂✧━━━━━━
It had been a gruesome fight. 
After hours of searching, Remus had found her. She had been unconscious when Remus and the rest of the group entered the basement where the Death Eaters had been keeping her. It was not far from where she had been stationed during her mission. Never again would Remus allow Dumbledore or any other member of the Order to send her on a solo mission. It was not that he did not trust her abilities, it was that he did not trust himself after knowing what it felt like to almost lose her forever. He didn’t want to think how different all of this could’ve turned out, how he would’ve felt if…
The tears in his eyes had stopped falling now that he was assured she was going to recover. Yet, Remus knew deep, deep down that the sight of blood running down her temple, of the bruises in her arms, of her busted lip and the ragged sound of her breathing would haunt his nightmares and thoughts for many days and nights to come.
James’ hand on his shoulder kept him steady while he limped his way up the stairs and out of the dark house. Sirius, who had come back from his own mission minutes before the group left but had refused to stay behind, carried her in his arms while Moody kept watch of any other Death Eaters that might show up to finish the job. Remus’ whole body itched to be closed to her, to be the one to carry her, but his hurt leg and ankle made it impossible. Nonetheless, he knew his injuries had all been in an effort to protect her from further harm. He would’ve endured many more. Dorcas had done as much as she could to heal him, but the pain didn’t appear to be in any rush to vanish. 
At the end of the street, he could decipher the figure of the Prewett twins, each with a Death Eater to be handed to the Ministry, wands pointed to their chests. What good would it do? Remus thought bitterly, but he had already dealt with at least three of them. A fucking ambush. James had found him in a feat of blind rage once the group had realised Remus decided to follow his own plan. 
The house had belonged to a Muggle family that hadn’t been as lucky. The group had agreed on splitting into smaller groups of two, with Remus joining Dorcas and Moody’s unit. Remus knew Moody wanted him close to supervise him. He didn’t need a fucking nanny, he needed to find her, make sure she was alright, and get the hell out. As it was expected, Remus ditched the group at the first chance he got. He discovered the basement door because of a noise that sounded like boots stepping on gravel. Either it was a setup or a screwup from one of the Death Eaters. He didn’t care. And it might’ve been the most idiotic thing he had done in his life, but he charged straight on. 
Later that night, James would ask him what exactly he had done and how he had been able to not get himself killed. Where there is a will, there’s a way, Remus would think.
Before they could all gather together to apparate near the safe house’s grounds, Remus looked back at her. She was still in Sirius’ arms. She hadn’t disappeared as he’d feared. With the help of the street lamps illuminating the sidewalk, he saw her eyes opening. He was all smiles, sobs, and tears. Not of grief, but relief.
━━━━━━✧❂✧━━━━━━
Back at the safe house, Moody’s eyes inspected him while his mouth was set in a vicious and stern scowl. Everyone else had gone home, and only Remus, Moody, and her remained. She was resting on the main room while Remus cleaned her skin and tended to her wounds.
“Lupin,” said Moody from the doorway, his eyes as hard as stone, “you pull that shit again and rest assured that I will kill you myself.”
Once he disappeared into the dark hallways of the cottage, Remus felt her fingers grasping his wrist. Her eyes were opened and it was clear that she was about to question him on what had made Moody so mad, not that he was known for his unserious character though. 
Remus kissed her temple first, then her cheeks, and lastly, her lips. There was nothing any of them could say to him that would stop him from saving her, again and again.
━━━━━━✧❂✧━━━━━━
The End
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aprilthearcher · 7 months ago
Text
published!
i really enjoyed writing this one, i guess because i just combined my two obssessions: remus lupin and hadestown.
I'll be on my way
work in progress (will probably be published in the evening).
remus lupin x fem!reader - set during the events of the First Wizarding War, Remus has a hard time accepting the truth: his partner has been captured by Death Eaters during what was supposed to be a 'low-risk' mission.
inspired by 'If It's True' and 'Wait For Me' from the musical Hadestown, (specifically Dónal Finn's Orpheus).
warnings: angst but happy ending, mentions of torture, violence, death.
7 notes · View notes
aprilthearcher · 7 months ago
Text
I'll be on my way
remus lupin x fem!reader - set during the events of the First Wizarding War, Remus has a hard time accepting the truth: his partner has been captured by Death Eaters during what was supposed to be a 'low-risk' mission.
inspired by 'If It's True' and 'Wait For Me' from the musical Hadestown, (specifically Dónal Finn's Orpheus).
reader is Moody's cousin because why not?
warnings: angst but happy ending, mentions of torture, violence, death.
#masterlist.
The ringing in his ears overpowered every scream, discussion, or sob that was currently haunting the kitchen of one of the Order’s safe houses. He could feel his eyes watering, yet no tears soared his cheeks. His blurry eyes could barely distinguish the figures moving round the small room. Two shadows were sitting at the wooden table, one with their head between their arms while the other was staring at him, waiting. More shadows were entering and exciting the kitchen through the same door she had walked through just a few hours ago. It was chaos. All of it. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to react.
  It was not that he was feeling nothing. On the contrary, it was that he was feeling so much at the same time that he could hardly move. His troubled emotions had taken control over his mind, body, and soul; the confusion and the grief and the pain and the lack of belief, they all paralyzed his body. 
Someone’s hand grabbed his shoulder, shaking him hard. They must have realised he was in some state of shock. 
But how could he? How could he be in shock? It wasn’t true what they had said. 
How could he not be in shock? 
Was it true what they had said? 
He could feel himself spiraling.
He could hear someone calling him from a distance, whispering his name with hesitation at first. It grew louder, it became clearer, it was firmer. Then, he noticed it was not from a distance that he was being called, but that the voice belonged to the same person who was grabbing and shaking his shoulders. James’ voice was powerful and grounding. James’ voice was a beacon casting its shining light on the dense darkness that now plagued his mind. 
“I know it’s fucking hard, brother, but I need you to be on your right mind,” James looked him in the eyes. He waited for Remus’ eyes to focus before he spoke again. “Some of the others don’t want me to do this, you’re too compromised or whatever,” – He began to understand what James was trying to get at, yet before he did something that would prove their point, James shook his head and with a hand raised between them that was telling him to calm down, and Remus listened because it was James. He knew he could trust him with his own life as well as hers. “I want to ask you if you’re up to it, but for that you need to clear your head. It’s true that you’re too compromised for this, but if… if it… if it were Lily who had been t-taken, then I know,” James breathed hard through his nose. “I know I’d want to go and do anything, everything, to get her back. So I’m giving you the choice.”
James didn’t really need to hear the answer come out of Remus’ mouth. Some part of James was truly asking, some other part was screaming at him that he was just wasting time while his best friend was probably being tortured; some big part of him knew he needn’t have asked. Some part of him still wanted to. James couldn’t lose the two of them, yet he knew some part of Remus was breaking inside. He could feel Remus’ mind or consciousness, even Remus’ soul, leaving him the moment he heard the news. It had taken some minutes to pull it back in him. James had begun to think he was not strong enough to help his friend. 
“Is - Is it true?” It took a second or two for James to realise that Remus had spoken, he had probably never sounded this vulnerable since that night the boys had discovered the truth behind the lies that slipped from his lips every month. The truth was darker this time around. “James, tell me.”
Suddenly, it was James who could no longer speak. He only closed his eyes and that was all the confirmation Remus needed. 
Remus had never felt such rage invade his body, nor such motivation and adrenaline pumping in his veins. It was hard to keep the anger from lashing out, but it would do more harm than good. He tried to think of her, what she would say in a moment like this, where his instincts and his rational mind were battling to gain the control of his actions; where he could feel himself slipping back into this almost catatonic state, as mentally lost as she physically was. Where there is a will, there is a way. Her words rang loudly in his head.
Where there is a will, there is a way, he repeated. 
“I want the Prewetts to come with us. Dorcas too.” Remus said. James nodded at the same time Remus was getting up from his position against the kitchen counter, it was where he had found support enough to keep himself on his feet when he heard Moody’s grave tone. She hasn’t sent her Patronus. She was supposed to cast it an hour and a half ago. Remus forced himself to forget Moody’s crestfallen expression when he announced the news or else he was sure he was going to be sick.
If it had been up to Remus, he would’ve dashed through the door and gotten his girl back the minute he had regained his senses. Yet, the Order liked to follow certain procedures that, for Remus, were wasting his time rather than helping him. Nevertheless, Moody would’ve never agreed to leave the house without a (more or less) established plan, even when it seemed to be engraving his youngest cousin’s peril; especially, because of her peril would he make a plan that wouldn’t end up with one of them dead. Remus, though, could not seem to wrap his head around planning, and route escapes, and more planning; he was antsy to leave, believing that it didn’t matter how many plans Moody could come up with, they were all going to end up being useless because these days something always seemed to go wrong. 
Remus hoped, prayed, begged for things to go right this time. She would have to wait for him, to survive until he got there. He hoped there was some part of her that was still able to wait. He ignored, or tried to, the vivid images of her being tortured that were conjured up by his own mind. Instead, he thought of her shining smile, her bubbly laugh, her kind eyes, her soft lips. Godric, he hoped there was some part of her that knew he was on his way.
James knew better than to say something, but he also knew that her being missing was already costing Remus’ sanity. He didn’t fully comprehend the concept of praying — Lily had tried to explain to him how ‘religions’ worked in the Muggle world — still, James closed his eyes and requested to whomever was listening that she was alive and well. He did not want to lose two of his best friends tonight. 
━━━━━━✧❂✧━━━━━━
It had been a gruesome fight. 
After hours of searching, Remus had found her. She had been unconscious when Remus and the rest of the group entered the basement where the Death Eaters had been keeping her. It was not far from where she had been stationed during her mission. Never again would Remus allow Dumbledore or any other member of the Order to send her on a solo mission. It was not that he did not trust her abilities, it was that he did not trust himself after knowing what it felt like to almost lose her forever. He didn’t want to think how different all of this could’ve turned out, how he would’ve felt if…
The tears in his eyes had stopped falling now that he was assured she was going to recover. Yet, Remus knew deep, deep down that the sight of blood running down her temple, of the bruises in her arms, of her busted lip and the ragged sound of her breathing would haunt his nightmares and thoughts for many days and nights to come.
James’ hand on his shoulder kept him steady while he limped his way up the stairs and out of the dark house. Sirius, who had come back from his own mission minutes before the group left but had refused to stay behind, carried her in his arms while Moody kept watch of any other Death Eaters that might show up to finish the job. Remus’ whole body itched to be closed to her, to be the one to carry her, but his hurt leg and ankle made it impossible. Nonetheless, he knew his injuries had all been in an effort to protect her from further harm. He would’ve endured many more. Dorcas had done as much as she could to heal him, but the pain didn’t appear to be in any rush to vanish. 
At the end of the street, he could decipher the figure of the Prewett twins, each with a Death Eater to be handed to the Ministry, wands pointed to their chests. What good would it do? Remus thought bitterly, but he had already dealt with at least three of them. A fucking ambush. James had found him in a feat of blind rage once the group had realised Remus decided to follow his own plan. 
The house had belonged to a Muggle family that hadn’t been as lucky. The group had agreed on splitting into smaller groups of two, with Remus joining Dorcas and Moody’s unit. Remus knew Moody wanted him close to supervise him. He didn’t need a fucking nanny, he needed to find her, make sure she was alright, and get the hell out. As it was expected, Remus ditched the group at the first chance he got. He discovered the basement door because of a noise that sounded like boots stepping on gravel. Either it was a setup or a screwup from one of the Death Eaters. He didn’t care. And it might’ve been the most idiotic thing he had done in his life, but he charged straight on. 
Later that night, James would ask him what exactly he had done and how he had been able to not get himself killed. Where there is a will, there’s a way, Remus would think.
Before they could all gather together to apparate near the safe house’s grounds, Remus looked back at her. She was still in Sirius’ arms. She hadn’t disappeared as he’d feared. With the help of the street lamps illuminating the sidewalk, he saw her eyes opening. He was all smiles, sobs, and tears. Not of grief, but relief.
━━━━━━✧❂✧━━━━━━
Back at the safe house, Moody’s eyes inspected him while his mouth was set in a vicious and stern scowl. Everyone else had gone home, and only Remus, Moody, and her remained. She was resting on the main room while Remus cleaned her skin and tended to her wounds.
“Lupin,” said Moody from the doorway, his eyes as hard as stone, “you pull that shit again and rest assured that I will kill you myself.”
Once he disappeared into the dark hallways of the cottage, Remus felt her fingers grasping his wrist. Her eyes were opened and it was clear that she was about to question him on what had made Moody so mad, not that he was known for his unserious character though. 
Remus kissed her temple first, then her cheeks, and lastly, her lips. There was nothing any of them could say to him that would stop him from saving her, again and again.
━━━━━━✧❂✧━━━━━━
The End
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aprilthearcher · 7 months ago
Text
I'll be on my way
work in progress (will probably be published in the evening).
remus lupin x fem!reader - set during the events of the First Wizarding War, Remus has a hard time accepting the truth: his partner has been captured by Death Eaters during what was supposed to be a 'low-risk' mission.
inspired by 'If It's True' and 'Wait For Me' from the musical Hadestown, (specifically Dónal Finn's Orpheus).
warnings: angst but happy ending, mentions of torture, violence, death.
7 notes · View notes
aprilthearcher · 8 months ago
Text
fucking love oliver wood!
all's fair in love and war (2)
oliver wood x female!reader
wc: 7.87k
warnings: enemies to lovers, still so damn much pining, set in poa, timeline is a bit wonky, limited use of y/n, archie being my fav oc, cheese fest
an: literally fell asleep on my laptop last night editing this, i was so exhausted from school so i’m sorry it’s late !!! but i had the most fun in the world writing this and i hope everyone enjoys :)) don't forget to comment and repost your favourite writers
summary: Oliver is still impossibly miserable, maybe more uncooperative than before, except now when you look at him: you can't think of much else beyond how sweet his lips tasted.
part one
You can’t sleep.
You're not sure you'll find sleep ever again.
“I knew it, I knew it—“ Cherry had bounced the whole way to your dormitory, howling into your ear. “I knew it!”
The image of Oliver’s fluttering eyes swum around your brain as you blinked into the darkness of the poster bed. The taste of his tongue and his words still right against your lips.
It was a riddle of a calibre that you can’t seem to detangle. More than anything, you try to remember how strong has he tasted of Firewhisky - was he so drunk to really dismiss it to nothing at all?
You lingered on it all weekend.
Cherry didn’t help at all — he’s been in love with you forever, that’s literally so obvious — and Enzo even less so once he’d been filled in: Oliver doesn’t seem a bloke who let’s alcohol make his decisions for him, something about Scottish genetics I think.
The interaction plagued you: digging a wide hole in the base of your stomach. You mourned the thought that you may never have the opportunity to kiss those soft lips again, more than anything: preparing yourself for the feud between yourselves to worsen.
There’s barely enough time to make sense of your situation before you’re racing down over the grassy hills of the grounds, bag swinging violently over your shoulder and extraordinarily late for your Herbology lesson in the greenhouse.
Your morning alarm had rung right into one ear and out the other, a product of the tossing and turning you’d been doing for the last two nights.
When you swing the greenhouse door open, panting and face flush from the beating sun, the whole room turns to you. Sprout pauses where her hands are flailing in explanation.
“Sorry I’m late professor,” you wheeze, readjusting your strap over your shoulder.
Cherry is smirking at you from her bench, sidled up with Jane Emmet.
It hadn’t escaped you that you’d be sharing the lesson with the Gryffindors, but you’d precious little time to worry about it in the five minutes you had to pull a robe over your head and stick a toothbrush into your mouth.
Your eyes are purposeful in not looking over the room. Scared to catch the wrong eyes.
“Not a problem peach, we’re just repotting some Fire-Seed Bushes.” She brings a stubby hand to her chin, “uhm … well, Mr Kumar there in the corner doesn’t have a partner. Go join him by his pots.”
Archie has a lopsided smile on his face when you approach, a thick black curl drooping over his left eye.
“Hey.” He nudges gently.
You set your bag down and grab a pair of gloves, chuckling. “Hey Archie.”
The soil is warm when you stick your fingers into the dirt, shifting it gently enough not to mess over the edge of the bucket. There’s a Fire-Seed Bush sitting tentatively at the end of the bench, spitting sparks and emitting smoke.
“So …” Archie speaks first, the back of his hand bumping yours between the black soil. “How was your weekend?”
It’s a veiled question, a poorly veiled one at that. The question draws a laugh from the base of your stomach.
You shrug, adamant on missing the point. “It was alright, I guess. How about yours?”
He shrugs right back. “Wasn’t the greatest. Penelope Clearwater rejected me for Percy Weasley.”
You don't mean to, you really don't, but it draws another bout of laughter out of you - you clap your hand over your mouth. “I’m sorry—“
“No, I get it. Percy bloody Weasley?” His brow is creased, dirt-stained hands rising messily from the soil to swipe at a fallen piece of hair in his face. “Dead sure that bloke's own mother can't say he’s handsome. I’m better looking than him, surely?”
There’s the hanging insinuation that it was rhetorical, but you reply anyways: “you’re definitely more handsome than Percy Weasley, Archie.”
His head cocks down at you, stained paws finding his waist and pressing black fingerprints into the red jumper. “You really think so?”
“Without a doubt.”
Archie smiles, bumping your side against his. You think he might be blushing. “You’re very charming. I understand what Oliver sees in you.”
You jolt involuntarily, spilling some black soil over the edge of the pot.
Swiping at the mess lazily, you play the comment off with another crumbly chuckle: hoping it convinces him more than it does yourself. “Oliver sees in me what a bull sees in a red cape.”
Archie’s reaching timidly for the Fire-Seed Bush, lifting it off the counter and holding the dangerous botanical at arm’s length. “Not true. The boy’s half in love with you.”
This conversation is getting awfully uncomfortable awfully quickly. It picks at your curiosity nonetheless.
“He said that?”
He’s quick to shake off the question, eyes still trained on setting the roots of the bush into the gap in the soil. “Oliver doesn’t have to say anything. He spends practically every fucking mealtime mooning over at your table, and he talks about you way more than necessary—“
“That’s just because I work on his nerves. Oliver doesn’t love me, he barely tolerates me.”
The boy turns on you, confusion set in his brow. “Why is this news? Last I saw you, your tongue was halfway into his stomach.”
Zachariah Smith and his Gryffindor partner look up at that. Your face goes hot all over - Archie doesn’t seem to notice.
“We were drunk.” You say softly, eyes stuck on a loose leaf crackling against the wooden counter.
There’s a special kind of fear that's crawling into your heart where you stand. The fear of putting too much faith into the words of Archie Kumar.
That it’s an elaborate ruse. A set-up, canons of confetti and a banner screaming “you’ve been fooled!” if you were to indulge his words. The danger of allowing your mind to drift too far off into the possibilities of a world wherein Oliver Wood doesn’t hate you - at least not as much as he lets on.
Archie looks at you out the side of his eye, you can feel it, but says nothing. He hands you a miniature yellow-handled spade.
Instead you fill the space. "I heard Isla Flynn has a crush on you."
He perks: "really?"
Across the room, Oliver is bumping elbows with Poppy Davis.
"Ow!"
A loose spark has evidently landed on her exposed arm. The sparks that Oliver was supposed to be watching for, the ones that he is intent on ignoring with the constant glancing back over his shoulder to where you and his best mate are in the corner of the room fucking giggling at each other like toddlers with a box of matches.
“Oliver — can you just focus for five seconds!” Poppy isn’t impressed.
Oliver isn’t either, with the situation as a whole. The pads of his fingers are blistered from the repotting of the bush and Poppy’s careless bumps and his general indifference to the task at hand.
It eats at his brain. What are you guys talking about? Is it about him?
You laugh again and it’s loud enough that it draws his shoulders all the way taut. There’s another snap of a spark and Oliver feels where it lands at his wrist, but he doesn’t react.
“Just pass me the bloody spade.” He grumbles.
-
The lesson passes more slowly than Oliver could swim shoulder-deep through molasses.
It feels like years later when he tosses his gloves into the box with the rest, when the class shuffles to return tools and begin slinging half-open bags over their shoulders.
Oliver doesn’t think he’s ever packed up faster - Poppy is still scowling at him, he doesn’t care - before he’s knocking through yellow and red tied students to find Archie’s head of curly black hair.
“Hey!” He catches him by the wrist, tugging on it like a dog with a bone. Archie jumps, eyes winding down to find his friend. “What did she say?”
You’re far ahead, Oliver can make out the back of your head: hips bumping with Cherry’s up the hill towards the castle.
Archie grins. “She said Isla Flynn has a crush on me.”
Oliver groans, “Not about that, you prat. About— wait, really?”
"Yeah!" He hikes his bag higher on his shoulder. "Can you believe it? She's got that hot Irish accent and everything."
Oliver nods, "Yeah ... yeah. Good on you, mate."
He's trying desperately not to steal this moment from his best friend, but he's fucking itching to know what else you and Archie had been giggling about.
"Did she ... say anything else?" He presses, more gently than his character usually allows. "Like about me?"
Archie shrugs without looking down. "I asked her, but she seemed tense about the whole thing."
"Tense?"
"Yeah, she said something about a bull and a cape, and went like all quiet when I told her you like her--"
At that, Oliver's stomach leaps up into his throat. He grabs his best friend by the arm, jolting him to a short stop. Some Hufflepuff bumps into their halted figures, grumbling before shuffling around them.
"You told her what?" His eyes flare erratically.
Archie shrugs, an innocuously confused look painting his features. "Well I said Oliver's half in love with you, or something like that and she looked all confused about it--"
Oliver's grip on his friend's wrist tightened to a degree that a ring was sure to form on his dark skin. "You fucking pinhead! You told her I liked her?"
Pulling his arm violently from his grip, Archie has the nerve to look affronted. "You don't?"
The morning sun shining over Oliver's head feels like it's growing hotter by the second, there's a dribble of sweat running down his spine.
"That's -- that's not the point. Even if I do, which I'm not saying is the case, she doesn't need to know that."
"Were you two obliviated in your sleep last night?" Archie's eyebrows are pressed down against his eyes, slouching down to meet his friend's face. "I caught you two making out like the world was ending less than three days ago! Surely she has to figure that you feeling something for her, she's not stupid."
Oliver struggles between his thoughts, worse around his words. "That was ... we'd been drinking. For all I know, she only kissed me back cause she was trollied off Dragon-Barrell--"
"She said that, too."
Eyeing him, Oliver's hands find his hips. "Said what, exactly?"
"That you were drunk, I mentioned the kiss and she said we were drunk."
A sensation he can only identify as closest to guilt seeps up into Oliver's chest from his stomach. "She thinks I kissed her just cause I was drunk?"
Archie's hand finds Oliver's shoulder. "You should probably talk to her, mate."
He sighs, eyes drifting over the silhouette of the castle in the distance. He shakes his head like it'll rattle the plaguing thoughts loose. "We're gonna be late for Transfig."
-
"I mean, Archie is his best friend." Cherry is trying to rationalise the whole story. "I don't see why he'd lie about it?"
You shake your head, knocking shoulders with a Ravenclaw girl trying to pass through the corridor. "I'm not entertaining it, Cherry."
"Come on," she sighs, practically skipping to keep up with the furious pace you've set. "Would it be so terrible if he likes you?"
"Yes." You don't look at her.
The redhead's eye-roll is practically audible, "Let me rephrase, would it be so terrible if he likes you back?"
You meet her eyes for the first time since you'd entered the corridor.
She sighs, "we're gonna see him in Muggle Studies in five minutes. I think you should say something."
"Forget I said anything, Cherry." Heat flares at your neck again, prompted by the embarrassment of even imagining how such a conversation might go.
The rest of the walk is quiet, but you feel Cherry's gaze warming the side of your face.
Burbage's classroom is over-populated with Gryffindors by the time you drop your bag against the marbled floor beside your desk. In the corner of your eye, your brain has already fixated on Oliver's silhouette leaned against the edge of his own desk. You flush hot all over again, as if your thoughts were transcribing into subtitles and floating above your head for the whole class to read.
The click of Burbage's heels prompt the lingering students to find their seats, "Please take out your copies of Muggle Wars: Cause and Effect. We left off on page eighty-seven--"
You suddenly regret snapping at Cherry. Wishing for the comfort of her presence, your eyes glazing over where she's perched in the first row of desks closest to the chalkboard.
Unusually, the class trickles on without disruption. There's a few glances over at your direction, like everyone is waiting for another outburst from the grade's most volatile duo. They're sure to be let down, you're adamant to not even breathe in the direction of Wood.
Burbage comments on it, too, nearly ten minutes from the bell.
"It's suspiciously quiet in your corner today, captains." she looks down through her fingerprint-smudged frames, brushing over you and then Wood three seats away. "Something the matter?"
You shrug, refusing to acknowledge the boy. He seems to be doing the same: completely unfairly, the thought that he wouldn't look at you made the hair on your arms stand straight. "We can start up if you'd like, professor?"
Her face contorts into that irritated look that you'd grown accustomed to when Professor Burbage addresses you. "You're flirting dangerously with another session of detention, miss."
"She's just answering your question, professor."
Nobody in the class seemed more surprised than Burbage, although that in itself was a feat. The two Gryffindor boys in the row ahead of you swivel all the way around in their seats to look at Oliver, who'd just spoken.
You fight the twitching urge to look at him.
"Detention for two, it seems. I'll be seeing you both Friday afternoon."
A calm air settles again over the class, as if order had been restored. You and Wood had lost the interest of the room and students shift back to the board where WHAT IS A PRIME MINISTER? is sprawled across it in chicken-scratch handwriting.
Sighing, your eyes find the clock against the wall. Eight minutes left.
You pick at the end of your quill irritably: electing to dip it into the ink at the edge of the desk and entertain yourself quietly by drawing a miniature snowman at the corner of your page, trying not to think about another Friday afternoon in too close of a proximity to Oliver Wood. There's a soft whir, barely audible if you weren't so focused on outlining pebble eyes, and a tiny paper-airplane whizzes quietly from under your desk: landing squarely on the nose-less head of your snowman.
Fear prickles at you. You don't look up for the source, lest a suspicious sideways glance earns you another weekend with the party-animal Charity Burbage.
Instead, you carefully undo the intricately folded wings of the plane. It's barely big enough to fit into your palm once open, the top of the little note marked in black ink.
It was the same handwriting that marked the sign-out sheet for equipment in the Quidditch storage rooms down at the pitch.
'Thanks for that one, smart-mouth.'
Your eyes flicker up to Burbage, who's back is turned, before you dip your quill into the ink and scribble out a response. In your peripheral, Oliver is leaned back in his stool: biceps folded over each other. There's an unexplainably airy-fairy, fuzzy feeling warming your rib cavity.
'Believe this one was your fault, dickhead.'
You quietly refold the creased edges, before tapping it lightly with the end of your wand: then watch how it takes off the airstrip of your page and zips quietly under the cover of desks to land back in front of the sender.
There's a long pause - enough for Burbage to draw out a whole flow diagram of something called "parliament" - before the edge of the paper wing grazes at your calf again. It lands quietly again.
'Maybe.
We good?'
There's a gentleness to the sentence. Like you can hear it from Oliver's mouth, like he's avoiding your gaze when he whispers it.
You hunch over the note again.
Oliver's knuckles are turning white, twisting his wand in his hands under the table. He shouldn't have said anything. He's regretting the whole fucking idea of the stupid paper-plane now.
He's trying not to watch you write, not to notice how long you stared at his writing before you picked up your own quill. He does anyways.
When the airplane flutters down into his palm, Burbage is already excusing the class. Stools are scraping against cold tile, the clutter of textbooks being crammed back into bags.
'Never :)'
His eyes run over the word once, twice, three times over. A smile is tugging at the edge of his lip, he forces it taut - but his eyes are still shining unusually brightly when Archie knocks his shoulder to his.
"What you looking so damn happy about?"
Oliver tucks the note into the pocket of his robes. "Don’t know what yer talking about."
-
"But professor, why can't Hufflepuff take Saturday?"
"Well, Hufflepuff already gave up our practice days for Gryff--!"
Hooch sighed so deeply she almost melted back into her armchair. "The decision is made, Oliver. The pitch is being cleaned out on Wednesday, your team can take Saturday for any extra training."
He could practically hear the smile creeping onto your face, the smug crossed-arm look he'll no doubt find when he turns to you.
Irritation bubbles up in his throat, a familiar companion in your presence, and just as he prophesied: you are grinning.
In the weeks that followed that day in Burbage's class, it seemed that both parties decided that the topic of their shared kiss outside the Ravenclaw common room was best left undiscussed.
The arrangement is working. At least Oliver thinks so.
You still bait him and he still snaps, rising to your taunts. He still finds himself in detention more Fridays than he spends free, and his body ripples with anger when you roll your eyes at him.
But it was in moments, like this now, where your little self-satisfied grin doesn't quite vex him to the degree it once did. It's now harder to find a retort, to snap at you with a sharp-edged comment. Not when amusement crinkles at the corners of your eyes where your black lashes kiss so prettily.
Hooch swivels in her chair to find a document between one of her cluttered drawers, you take the opportunity to stick the tip of your tongue out childishly at him.
Oliver draws a tight breath, he hopes his face is still taut in annoyance, because his heart has slipped like a stone down into his stomach. That's the other issue, the tiny little obstacle in these recent weeks: he can't stop looking at your mouth. It's distracting, disarming - paralysing at the best of times.
He strips his gaze away, before he can be outed by anyone in the room. "Whatever." He mumbles.
You seem disappointed in his lack of a real response, but it passes quickly - like a shadow - over your face.
"Thanks professor." You grab up your roster from her desk and turn to the door, practically skipping out into the corridor.
He huffs.
Somehow, you and Archie have become fast friends. Mornings around Fire-Seed Bushes and Venomous Tentaculas in the heat of Greenhouse Three seems to do wonders for a friendship.
It prickles at Oliver's nerves when you pass in the corridors, when you perk up with a high "hey Arch!" and he grins down from his towering height right back at you: "hey Y/n!"
You don't look at Oliver. He's notably sour the rest of the walk.
Alright, maybe the whole arrangement wasn't really working. You were a distraction to him before, no doubt, but somehow your powers of beguilement had tripled. Especially since you seem to be behaving perfectly normal: like you hadn't given Oliver the best snog of his life outside the Ravenclaw common room that night.
Maybe it was just alcohol, maybe he is the only one plagued by the knowledge of the other's taste.
The castle has turned impossibly colder, the bitter bite of winter stinging at the loose cuffs of his robes on walkthroughs of the corridors. He can't imagine how cold the air above the pitch is going to be on Sunday when Hufflepuff faces off Slytherin for a spot in the finals.
It's all Hooch has been going on about for the last two weeks.
Oliver's had to shift around at least four practices - Roger almost twice as much, he's a pushover - to allow for you and Marcus to have more time on the pitch. His complaints fell on deaf ears, Hooch dismissed him with a wave of her bony hand and a "your time is coming, Wood."
You prance into dinner late most evenings, hair in every direction and face flush with sweat: sticking it out like a bumblebee in those awful yellow quidditch robes.
Oliver only notices because, annoyingly, he's found that he is frequenting the bench at the Gryffindor table that faces over to the Hufflepuff's. His eyes drift over the yellow-tied heads to where you clump up with Enzo and Cherry, watches you talk around mouthfuls of toast lazily, giggle behind your napkin: head rolling back to showcase that smooth neck, how it runs down to the soft slopes of your shoulders: disappearing down into your button-up.
Archie has noticed, he's sure, but hasn't done more but allude to it with teasing glances or suggestive comments.
"The Hufflepuffs up to something particularly interesting over there, Ollie?"
The speed with which Oliver's eyes snap to his peas is almost comical. He shrugs and mumbles like a child. "Don't know."
-
On Sunday morning, you don't go to breakfast.
There's an uncomfortable gurgling in your midriff, like a snake is slithering between your organs and you're sure even just the smell of eggs on toast would bring up your dinner.
Instead you find yourself at the pitch a whole hour before the game is set to start. Marcus is running laps around the grass, something he's done since you've known him.
He offers a curt wave, face set like cold stone.
It reminds you of Oliver a little bit, the distraction in his eyes.
Oliver is never all the way there, wherever he is, you think. His eyes mist over like he's halfway between this world and another. You know it's Quidditch: he dreams it, eats it, sleeps it.
But lately he's foggier than usual.
You think it's your imagination, brush off the idea as you have all the millions of others you'd had in the preceding weeks about the surly brute that was Oliver Wood. He plagues you.
Just the vibrato of his unimpressed huff when you get your way, when you quip something purposely annoying at him. It's addictive, the feel of his sugar-brown eyes glaring a hole through you.
Lately, his reactions have been closer to underwhelming. Allowing for only a moment of eye contact: gone are the quick-witted retorts, the Scottish-laced "princess" usually attached. The thought makes you wince in embarrassment, knowing that you've been pressing him harder lately: like a seven-year old jabbing at a claw machine, outwardly desperate for that brown plushy on the top of the pile.
Maybe he's over it. So deathly mortified of your shared kiss that he doesn't want to know you anymore, much less take the effort to hate you. Your chest pinches tightly.
You dress into your match robes slowly, taking your time with the loops of your shoelaces and the buttons down the sweater you're wearing underneath everything. Oliver Wood should be at the bottom of your list of priorities, normally, but now more than ever.
The team filters into the change-room, exhibiting varying degrees of nervousness. Cedric is practically green, but Herbert looks like he's about to go down a water-slide he's waited over an hour in line for. Beyond the swinging doors, you can hear the crowd shuffling loudly into their seats.
Before your wits are completely about you, Hooch is rapping on those same doors. "Onto the pitch, Hufflepuffs!"
You muster up your best excuse for a captain's speech for what might be the last match you ever play as one. The team seem satisfied, you figure it's easy to find solace before a game when you know it's not your last. As the only seventh year, comfort doesn't come so easily to you.
The crowd is deafening when yellow robes take to the sky: Marcus looks over, offering another nod, not unlike the one he'd given you earlier. You can tell he's feeling the dread of finality too.
There's a whistle blow and the quaffle flies past your face with a speed that nearly evacuates your nose from your face. Lee is announcing in the distance and the rumble of adrenaline forces your fingers over the handle. It tilts and you dip, disappearing into the sky of players.
-
The winter air at Hogwarts was biting enough roaming the corridors, but thirty metres off the ground is something wholly unnatural. Your face was burning crisp from the icy wind, the feeling in your cheeks and nose lost to the Scottish cold.
Foggy white clouds puff out with each heavy breath. Cedric zooms past and Jane loops around his moving figure to knock a stray bludger in the opposite direction.
Your eyes flash between them and the fast approaching Malcolm, he tosses the quaffle at you with a grunt and you catch it at the tips of slippery, ice-frozen fingertips.
Shooting forward again, you duck under Marcus who is hurtling through the sky at you: gone is the look of friendly fondness from his eyes, replaced with a hunger for the leather-bound ball in your grasp.
Just missing the grasp of his meaty hand, the ball passes onto Heidi.
"Another ten points to Hufflepuff," Lee's voice echoes as if from heaven. "That brings the score to ninety for Hufflepuff and eighty for Slytherin!"
It's been nearly ninety-five minutes of sitting on your broom growing colder, and you're not alone.
Around you, the team is descending into frost-induced exhaustion: Jane's nose is as bright red as a Christmas ornament and Cedric has been peeping over the top of his thick woollen-scarf for at least the last half - barely enough to catch a glance of the whizzing canary and emerald robes, much less of a tiny golden snitch.
You sigh out another white breath, letting your eyes drift over the stands. It's saturated with moving heads of faces you can't make out and yellow and green swaying banners. Your gaze lingers on the top left, in the corner facing the castle. It's where Cherry and Enzo park themselves during every match, where you know they're screaming in support, clenching their teeth at every quaffle handover. You can feel them, even when their faces blur into the crowd.
Unintentionally, you think about how Oliver's mixed in there too. Somewhere between your peers. If you had been granted another moment, if the quaffle wasn't mid-air between two Slytherins just under your nose and you'd not taken the opportunity to snatch it from them, you would have meandered into the trap of hoping that deep down in his chest - even if it was core of the earth deep - he was rooting for you, too. That he seethed at a missed goal or clenched a tight fist at his side in celebration when a Hufflepuff makes a beautiful play.
Meanwhile in the stands, Oliver has decided that the desire to play his allegiances in secret has since disappeared from his heart.
He'd played it light in the first few minutes. Mumbling under his breath at a fumbled pass or a slimy move from the Slytherins, but by the forty-fifth minute he'd found himself on his feet.
"Diggory!" His hands waved in front of him, "it was right there you fucking git--"
A Hufflepuff third year a row ahead looked at him askew, but he paid her no mind.
Archie had taken the hint early. As soon as Oliver was out of his seat, so was he. Despite being Oliver Wood's best friend, Archie had somewhat limited knowledge of the game himself and eyed Oliver's reactions to find the appropriate moments to whoop and cheer. Oliver didn't say anything, but he appreciated it more than he could verbalise.
His eyes tracked you more than anything, when you were flying between players or just floating in place: eyes like a hawk, watching over the game. His heart swelled and his pride fell to the wayside.
Just short of the two hour mark, there was a rise in the crowd.
"The seekers have caught sight of the snitch!"
Oliver's stomach rose into his throat.
"They're diving for it, Malfoy and Diggory head to head-- and Slytherin grabs the snitch, winning by 140 points!"
It sank back into place, like a stone to the bottom of the river. He watched how you froze, how you twisted over your shoulder to find Diggory's figure lingering at the bottom of the field. You shoulders sagged, hanging in the air as the others dropped to the ground.
"Slytherin have made it into the finals against Gryffindor for the quidditch cup, back here at the pitch next month!"
After a long moment, the last in the sky, you followed them down.
The raucous cheers from the Slytherins were hard to drown out, he wasn't even sure Archie heard him toss a "i'll find you at the castle" before he found himself pushing through the masses of people.
He fought against the wave moving to find the stairs, eager to return to the warmth of their dormitories, but Oliver was markedly more motivated than the majority. He stomped on some toes and nearly tossed a first year off the stands to race down the stairs.
Only once his feet had found the mushy grass of the pitch, did he pause to consider that he wasn't entirely sure what he was going to say. What was the rush for? To comfort you, tease you for your loss?
The latter option was definitely what he could do, what he could say. What was expected of him, if he was being honest. Recently, however, he's found it harder and harder to come up with remarks to hurt your feelings. Found that he quite prefers that little smile that tucks into the corner of your mouth when he says something unexpectedly fond. How your eyes practically gleam.
There's shoving from all sides of him -- get out the way, bloody hell -- and the teams pass ahead of him. Leading the march, despite it being nothing more than a slow trudge, is your figure: squashed between those of who he recognises to be Cherry Stretton and Enzo Musa's.
Their arms wrapped over your shoulders, talking animatedly into your ear on each side. Enzo tips his head to meet yours, a small touch of comfort.
Oliver sighs. He has nothing to say and no comfort to offer, wondering for a moment what he could possibly bare to hear in his own final moments as captain. He thinks that anything from your mouth would work.
So he waits, parks himself beside the stairs and waits for Archie: watching the six-legged figure disappear up over the hill.
-
You're not at dinner.
He knows because he's been watching the door for the better half of an hour. Archie pushes his plate at him, "Eat something there, Ollie."
Begrudgingly, Oliver brings his drumstick up to his mouth. "She's not eaten a thing since breakfast, it's almost eight."
Archie passes a sympathetic look over him. "Her friends are here, I'm sure she'll be by soon. There's no use you joining her on a hunger-strike."
He's right. Cherry and Enzo and some others that frequent your circle are talking around the table, around the spot that you usually fill. But dinner goes on and students leak steadily out towards bed without your return.
Eventually Oliver huffs, like an irritated bulldog, and grabs for the nearest napkin: unfolding it out in front of him.
"What are you doing?" Archie asks thickly, spitting bits of rice at him.
Oliver reaches for two chicken skewers, placing them neatly on the white square: alongside a dinner roll and a pumpkin pasty.
He wraps them over, double wraps it with another napkin too.
"What does it look like, Arch."
Placing it carefully into the deep pocket of his robe, Oliver goes to stand - lacking the patience it takes for Archie to answer, or for his inevitable teasing. "I'll find you back in our room."
He's halfway out the hall when Archie's voice calls out to him, "You don't even know where she is!"
Oliver shakes his head, brandishing a dismissive hand over his shoulder. "I know where she is." He mumbles for only himself to hear.
-
You’d watched close to twenty-one quidditch matches from the stands at the pitch on Hogwarts grounds: played in almost half of them. 
The seat is still slightly too small, just uncomfortable enough to make a person shuffle. Beyond the rim over the other end of the pitch you can see the orange sun dipping behind the horizon, drawing to darkness over your moment alone.
By now you're sure the party in the common room has long since found momentum. The one you'd been promised by the team, "it's your last game, cap, we need to celebrate!". You're sure someone somewhere is looking for you, bracing a plastic cup of Firewhisky with your name on it, but you can't find it within yourself to face it all just yet.
The silence of the evening is enough, you only wish you'd been fast enough to retrieve your broomstick that's somewhere off with Enzo. Just for one last lap.
The serenity of your loneliness doesn't persevere, however. You can hear shuffling up the steps, you're tempted to look but the sunset is slipping so quickly out of your hands that it's not worth the time wasted.
It's only when the footfalls draw closer, stopping when a body slumps into the seat beside you. The seats are so cramped that his knee brushes yours, the figure long since identified from the corner of your eye.
"Come to gloat?" You ask, eyes never leaving the sky.
He shrugs. "Not today."
You nod. His smell drifts on the breeze under your nose, like peppermint and soap and Oliver.
There's a long silence. Your robes crease against the fist sitting in your lap, you've yet to change out of your quidditch uniform, you know it will be the last time.
"You missed dinner."
"Does it matter?"
Despite your avoidant gaze, Oliver's is warming the side of your face. The evening air cools the same spot.
There's a shuffling that finally draws your eyes. Oliver is still in his robes too, and his hand emerges from a deep pocket with a folded napkin square. "Figured you'd be hungry."
He places it onto your lap with a gentleness you're coming to find more of in him. Something frighteningly warm erupts in your chest and your hands come up to it, pulling apart the napkin to find picky bits inside.
You're fighting between smiling and starting to cry. You do neither.
"You carried this in your pocket the whole way from the hall?"
His eyes flicker between the food and your face before he shrugs. "Yeah."
By now, you were fighting a losing battle and the smile pulled up at the ends of your mouth so tightly that your cheeks started to hurt. "Gross."
You pick up a chicken skewer regardless, biting into it and facing the sky again. You offer him the other one and he looks for a moment like he's going to argue but takes it quietly in the end.
The chicken is tender and only after you'd swallowed the first bit did you realise how hungry you'd actually been. You finish it without a word, going to tear the pasty in half and offering a piece to your companion.
You're picking at the roll now, tearing tiny bits off and feeding it piece by piece to yourself like a bird. "Last game."
He nods. "I know."
"What could someone say to you after your last game, Wood?" You pick at him, eyes flittering between him and the now nearly black sky. "You know, to make you feel better?"
Oliver shakes his head, leaning back and rolling his shoulders: as if the thought itself unsettled him.
"Nothing, probably. I'd probably just walk into the Black Lake and drown myself."
You think he's joking, but with Oliver Wood that was hardly a sure thing.
"You wouldn't."
"What's there left to live for?" He says it with an airy chuckle.
Shrugging, your head falls against your shoulder. "You'd have to figure it out, because I'd go marching in right after you. Carry you out if I had to."
Oliver stills, eyes wide and blinking at you. Your chest goes tight, the ghost of a smile pressing at your face.
"Bridal style and everything ..." You add quietly, stifling your chuckle.
He seems to come back to himself, nodding. "We should get back. Been a long day."
The napkin crumples in your hand, shoved down into the depths of your own pocket. You walk ahead, the pathway to the steps is only narrow enough for one person at a time, and he trails behind.
By the time you've hit the steps, Oliver moving down beside you, you're brewing around an apology. A way to thin the air, to ease where your chest is tight: swirling around well done, now you've made things awkward you git. It's halfway up to your tongue when skin brushes against the back of your hand.
Warm fingers explore your knuckles to find your cool ones, slipping to knot between them.
You work not to look down, because Oliver's skittish like that. From the corner of your eye, you can see he's concentrating his gaze ahead.
His hand tightens against yours, palm callous from years wrapped around the wooden handle of his broomstick. It's a little sweaty and sticky but you're smiling so hard you're about to be sick.
You dare to look at him, Oliver's smiling too.
-
Oliver hasn't been sleeping.
His last few days of seventh year are slipping like water through his calloused hands and he can feel it. Every hour that passes, shadowy and fleeting.
Classes feel shorter than before, the terrible jokes Archie bombards him with over dinner sound funnier than he ever remembers them being and the glimpses he catches of you in the corridor never feel long enough. The ceiling of his poster bed flashes with moments of the day that's passed, feeling like a dream you'll be jolted out of as soon as it gets good.
Even over all his hours of broody contemplation, none of it makes the final whistle any easier to swallow. It hits him like he's been smacked with a bludger in the chest.
"Gryffindor has won the quidditch cup, two-hundred and thirty points to twenty!"
He can hear the crowd's roar, the whoops of the twins floating somewhere below him. Harry's standing on the grass of the pitch holding up his tiny golden trophy. The pitch is red all over: Oliver won.
He won.
Every moment building up over the last seven years culminated into the final blow of the whistle. The wind is whipping at the hair over his forehead: Oliver thinks this might be the happiest moment of his life, but he's not entirely sure.
He never realised that it would all be so fucking soaked in sadness.
It's over. He's leaving the castle empty handed. His engraving will live on the Quidditch Cup in a dusty cupboard for years to come, yes, and he might have a frame up in his future apartment somewhere, reminiscing on the old days. That's all.
He's struck with the devastating fear that in a few short years, nobody will remember him. More than anything, he can't believe he hadn't come to this overwhelming conclusion before right now. Before Angelina is yelling to him, waving a frantic hand and sporting the biggest grin in all of Scotland, before he was seconds from taking the prize he's held in his mind for so many years into his very hands.
Will you forget him?
It nearly knocks him off his broom. He finds that it scares him the most, more than the thought of the dust-caked trophy or the lonely corner at the back of his cupboard where his Hogwarts robes will no doubt live until eternity.
He won't forget you, he thinks. He knows.
You're just so damn annoying. And beautiful, fucking whip-clever and hilarious sometimes--
The handle of his broom is tilting down to the earth now, the crowd zooming into a blur on either side of him. He hits a shaky landing, broomstick abandoned on the grass behind him as he's pulled into the arms of his team and well-wishers.
A golden trophy passes over the heads of the twins and it's shoved into his sweating hands. It's cool to the touch and so much heavier than he thought it ever could be, but he can't seem to keep his mind on the situation long enough to realise any of that. His mind is racing around the castle wondering where you might be and what's the fastest way to get there.
His eyes are racing over the heads of the roving crowd. "Wood, Wood! Speech!"
Shadowing over everyone is Archie's tall figure standing at the back, grinning down at him. The team watches expectantly.
This is it. The moment for the speech he's been practicing in his bathroom mirror since he was seven.
"I--" he looks down at the cup for the first time, his face reflecting up at him in glimmering gold. He finds he can't remember any of the words. "I need to go find someone."
There's a buzz of confusion, but Oliver doesn't linger: shoving the Quidditch Cup into Harry's arms.
"That's the shortest speech Wood has ever given." He hears Angelina quip, but he can't be arsed to turn. He's already flying, moving through the crowd at such a pace he might just have been on his broom.
The sea of students had long since started moving up to the castle, particularly the non-gryffindors: trying to beat the stampede of scarlet that is no doubt to come. Oliver's legs carry him over the smooth green hill up towards Hogwarts, head craning over students to find your side profile somewhere in the mass.
He catches few oy, watch it!'s and congrats, Wood!'s but he doesn't turn, doesn't stop running. Students bespeckle the grass like ants lining up for crumbs, and he's all the way up into the stone corridor leading to the Great Hall when he spots Cherry's velvet red curls over the crowd, and sure enough, he finds you're knocking her shoulder with your own.
It only takes one shout of your name and you turn to peek curiously back, by which time he's taken both your shoulders into his hands and steered you to the wall of the corridor.
"Wood! What are you do--"
His hands squeeze around the plush at your upper arms. "Oliver. My name is Oliver."
Your eyes are wide in surprise, the window behind you showcases the gardens and the pitch in the distance. Sunlight forms a halo over the crown of your head.
With a head tilted in confusion, you nod slowly. "Alright ... what are you doing, Oliver?"
He can feel the eyes of Cherry and Enzo burning a hole through the side of his head, but doesn't bother with it. You're blinking up at him, gentle and benign in your features. He wonders when it became like this, when you'd lost the tight brow and the frown every time you looked at him.
"I won the Quidditch Cup." He says blankly.
You nod, a small smile tucked into the corner of your lip. "I saw. Congratulations."
Oliver only nods back at you. "I wanted to tell you. I wanted to come shove it in your face."
He's shuffling closer to your figure, and he's more than pleased to discover that you aren't cowering from it.
"Of course you did, because you're a prat." But you're smiling so hard now that it's impossible to take your jab to heart. "Is that all, Oliver?"
A warm sensation is spilling into his rib cavity and his fingertips are buzzing with electricity when they come to find either side of your face.
"No." His forehead is nearly touching yours and your hands have wrapped around his wrists. "I came to ask you out on a date. A sappy, disgustingly romantic date where I bring you flowers and pay for your hot chocolate. You'd hate it."
"That truly sounds horrible." Your smile is so wide he can barely see the whites of your eyes and it pumps more adrenaline through Oliver than any argument you'd ever shared over the last seven years.
"So, is that a yes?"
You're bouncing on your toes a little bit, bumping your nose against Oliver's clumsily. The babble of passing students and gawking onlookers has practically fallen mute to him.
"Depends, are you going to kiss me goodnight after?" You whisper it, like it's a secret between just you and him.
He nods slowly, "pretty desperate to kiss you right now, if I'm being honest princess--"
You don't wait for him to finish, thank Merlin you don't wait for him to finish, and push up onto your toes: crashing against his mouth. You're kiss is as dizzying as he remembers, but softer this time. You kiss like you know he's not running away, hands pressing softly over his neck.
It's nothing like your kiss outside the Ravenclaw common room: where that one was desperate and hot and angry, this time it's born from longing and tenderness and acceptance.
It leaves him just as fucking breathless as the first time.
Somewhere behind him, he hears wolf-whistling (he's sure it's Cherry) and when you pull your lips off his, your face is flush with embarrassment.
"I will go on a date with you, Oliver."
He takes your hand into his, curling his fingers between your own. You lean up to peck him softly and bat your eyelashes at him, grinning innocuously when you whisper: "If you treat me like you did with Delilah, I'm throwing your broomstick into the fireplace."
-
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aprilthearcher · 8 months ago
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Best Friend's Little Sister
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Remus Lupin x Muggle! Evans! Reader
Summary: Lily Evans takes the Marauders to her muggle sister's football game where she is captain of the cheerleading squad.
Warning: The Marauders and Lily not understanding football. Sirius and James want lockers in Hogwarts. SFW, drinking, smoking, OC
A/N: I know nothing of sports or cheering so please be warn if there's a mistake. In HS, I was the one smoking pot under the bleachers lol. please like or comment below. Enjoy - L || Border Credit: @cafekitsune
Word Count: 7.4K
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Unlike Petunia, you were proud of Lily. Never making her feel bad for being different. Lily had lost count on how many times you have told her that she is special to be a witch and she should be proud of it. Hundreds, perhaps thousands of letters have been exchanged between Lily and you when she started Hogwarts. You would ask her about her time in Hogwarts, asking her about how her classes were and her friends. Lily did the same, asking you how life is back home and about your wellbeing. Today Lily received a letter and she was so excited to read it since you told her last week about trying out for a new position in the cheer team at your school. Quickly, opening it she had drawn the attention of the boys around her who were talking and laughing about a prank they recently did. James looks over at Lily when she lets out a gasp and covers her mouth. Lily felt James’ place a hand on her back. He asked her if she's alright.
The boys stopped talking and looked at Lily who gave James a bright smile and nodded. “Yes, it’s my sister. She told me she was made captain and is so excited. She wanted me to go to the last game of the term. She wrote here that I can invite you guys. If you are up for it.”
Lily gave James a picture you had sent along with the letter. Sirius and Peter quickly went over to James and looked over his shoulders. Sirius let out a whistle while Peter's eyes grew wide. The photo was a regular muggle photo of you.
“Evans, where have you been hiding this lovely girl!?” Lily rolled her eyes at Sirius then took the photo from James.
“Don't even think about it!” Lily said before handling it to Remus who remained in his seat in front of Lily.
He grabbed the photo and noticed why Sirius whistled. Remus had met you before, Lily had introduced you to him. He always visited Lily whenever they were on break. Remus knew you were very different from Lily’s older sister. Petunia always gave him a harsh look and would shut the door on his face whenever he came over.
“Don’t be a daft cow.” He hears you behind the door before opening it.
“Rem Rem.” You shouted as you hugged him. Remus always smiles at the nickname and hugs you back.
“She’s captain of what?” Peter asked walking back to his seat to continue on with his breakfast.
“She’s captain of the cheerleading team at her school. She has been wanting that spot for so long.” Lily said with a proud smile.
Remus continued to stare at the photo. His eyes looking at every detail, oh how he wished the photo could move. You had a red and gold uniform with black lining on the hem. Your hair was in a ponytail and he saw the glitter around your eyes, making them pop out even more. You looked beautiful, he says to himself. You had two big red pom-poms in each hand. The smile on your face was big and it reminded him of the smiles you always gave him.
“That’s exciting.” James commented as Lily took out the tickets from the envelope.
“If you guys are up for it.” Lily said, waving the tickets in her hands. Sirius and James looked at each other with a grin, any chance they got to see the muggle world, they took it. Peter nodded before letting them know he would have to ask his parents first.
“Moony?” Sirius said, placing an arm over his friend’s shoulder. Remus looks away from the picture and nods at Lily.
The Marauders stood in front of the school as Lily thanked her dad for giving them a ride.
“It’s a bit small.” Peter commented. “Well, it’s not a castle.” Sirius said, looking at the school. They jumped when a group of guys came walking beside them. James’ eyes widened when he saw they were shirtless with red and gold paint over their chest including their faces.
“Are we safe here?” Peter asked them and Lily came behind them. “Of course, it’s a high school football game.”
“Think of how fans are for quidditch. They are the same for football.” Remus told Peter and gave him a pat on his shoulder.
“What’s football?” Sirius asked, putting his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. Lily glanced over at Remus who shrugged his shoulders.
“Like quidditch but running.” Lily said not really knowing how to explain it better. Walking up to the front of the school Lily soon realized she didn't know where she was going. She hasn't been to a public school in years.
“Are you Lily?” The Marauders looked over at a tall boy with blonde hair and he wore a red and gold cheer uniform just like the one you wore in the picture.
“Who’s asking?” James said, stepping in front of Lily. James puffed his chest out trying to intimidate the boy who was taller than him. Lily rolled her eyes at James and pushed him behind her before greeting the boy. The boy gave them a smile and shook her hand, ignoring the small dramatic gasp from James and Sirius.
“I’m Chris, I'm in the squad. Your sister wanted to make sure you guys won’t get lost. Follow me.” Chris told them as he opened the front door of the school for them. He explained to them, it's easier to go this way so they wouldn't have to wait in line. Remus thanked him as Peter and Sirius looked at Chris with a shady look but soon it went away when they noticed the inside of the school. As they walked they looked inside the classrooms and looked at the papers stapled in the bulletin board.
“Wow.” Sirius said as they walked down the hallway.
“James! Sirius!” Lily called out when she noticed they were not following her. Remus looked over his shoulder and frowned when he saw James and Sirius in front of a wall of lockers.
“What's this contraception?” Sirius said, knocking on the red locker. James twisted the lock and pointed at the numbers.
“It’s a locker.” Remus told them and Peter walked over to look at it. James and Sirius look over at Remus with a curious look. “What is it for?”
Remus fought the urge to laugh. James, Sirius and Peter were pureblood, they had no idea what this was. Pushing James and Sirius back to follow Lily, he answered them. “It’s where students put their coats, books and bags while they attend classes. They use the lock to put their code to open it and lock it so nobody steals their belongings.”
“We should ask Dumbledore for lockers!” Sirius said with a nod thinking how cool it will be to have one. He always forgets his books in his room.
“Where do you guys go to school, again?” They froze when Chris asked them. Lily looks over at them with a stern face before dropping it to answer Chris.
“I’m sure, my sister told you. We go to a boarding school.” Lily said. Remus nods at the tall boy.
“We have dorms so we don't use lockers.” He added convincing Chris who looked over at Peter who was twisting the lock of a nearby locker.
“She probably did.” Chris said, shaking his head. “You guys want to see mine?” Chris asked, pointing over his shoulder at the lockers.
“Yes!” James and Sirius shouted and quickly followed Chris with Peter behind them. After 10 minutes of Chris showing them how to open a locker, they finally made it to the football field after providing the tickets to Chris. Remus stayed in the back making sure all the guys were following Lily. The stands were filled with people and students already. Chris waved bye at them and told them he’ll let you know they are here.
“It’s like a quidditch field.” James said as he looked around excited. Remus sat next to Lily as James sat on the other side with Peter. Sirius sat next to Remus in the middle of the stand getting a good view at the field.
“I haven't seen her in so long.” Lily said as she got comfortable on the metal bleachers. “Has your older sister seen her cheer before?” James asked and Lily shook her. “Petunia says cheering is for sluts.”
“I swear, Evans, your older sister hates everything.” Peter said, making her nod.
“She does but at least Y/n doesn't hate me.” Lily said with a soft tone as she stared at the field. Remus hooks Lily’s arm around with his and James snuggles close to her grabbing a hold of her hand. They knew about Lily's family and how her oldest sister always made her out to be a freak. The Marauders were happy she had you for a sister.
The game started and The Marauders jumped at the sound of the horn playing through the intercom. The people around them stood up and shouted, waving and pumping their arms in the air.
“They look so huge.” Peter shouted as the football team came running out of the field pumping their arms in the air, exciting the crowd even more.
“Oh my! She’s there.” Lily shouted standing up as the crowd hollered at the sight of cheerleaders running out. Remus stood up as well and watched a few girls do a flip as they ran in front of the bleachers.
Sirius smirks to see his tall lanky friend staring at the cheerleaders knowing who he was trying to find. Remus told Sirius on their way to Lily’s town after they left Hogwarts for break. Sirius found Remus shaving his face in the bathroom of the train.
“Oi! Who are you trying to impress, mate?” Sirius asked as he went inside the bathroom and shut the door. Sirius couldn't help but laugh at Remus who was trying to come up with a lie. Remus couldn't lie to Sirius for shit. That’s when Remus told Sirius he had a crush on you and wanted to look good for you.
“Is this why you never go out with the girls at school? And is this why, every time Lily gets a letter you get so happy when you find out it’s from her? Have you tried anything with her yet?” Remus turns red in the face and looks away from his friend. He gets nervous and Sirius can see his hand holding the razor shakes.
Sirius lets out a sigh when Remus didn’t say anything. He tells Remus to sit his ass down on the toilet seat so he can help him shave. Pushing his legs apart, Sirius gets to work and shaves the other side of Remus’ face.
“I’m just gonna say this once mate because you’re my best friend and I love you so much but you can be thick sometimes.” Remus tenses up as Sirius wipes the excess shaving cream off his cheekbone with a paper towel.
Sirius continues, “You should tell her how you feel. I’m hoping you’re not letting Moony get in between her and you because I’m pretty sure she will understand just like Lily did and if her sister is anything like her, she would love you and Moony just like we do."
“She is like Lily. Kind and smart. Dare I say more beautiful than her.” Remus said without a second thought to Sirius.
“Don’t say that in front of James.” Sirius warned jokily before heading back to his seat.
Sirius grabbed Remus by the hand when he noticed everyone sat down when the cheerleaders started to get in their position in front of the bleachers. Remus was pulled down forcibly and was about to snap at Sirius when he leaned against him and pointed ahead. Remus followed his hand and saw you walking in the front of the group. Remus hears Lily squeal beside him at the sight of you. His cheeks grew pink at the sight of you. You had a red skirt showing your legs off, Remus felt his mouth go dry at the sight of your bare thighs and legs. The sleeveless top you had on had the school logo printed on it and you wore a red long sleeve shirt it. It was tight and short showing just a bit of the skin of your stomach. Your hair is in a ponytail tied in a red scrunchie.
“I think I'm in love.” Peter said as the cheerleaders started to dance, his eyes stared at a blonde who stood next to you. James laughed, bumping his shoulder at his friend as they watched the show.
Remus saw you raising your hands in the air above your head and shouting the school name before clapping three times. It wasn't the sound of the music playing or the people around him cheering that had him mesmerized but it was the way you move your hips along with the rest of the girls to the beat of the song.
“LETS GO BABY!!” Remus hears a guy scream from the top of the bleacher as they continue to cheer.
Remus watched as Chris came behind you as the girls walked towards the rest of the guys. You came in front of Chris and he turned you around and lifted you in the air. The crowd went wild as the rest of the girls did the same. They began to clap when you turned to the side and grab your leg with both hands pulling the foot behind your head holding the position all while Chris held you up in the air. Remus grew worry when he saw you were going to come down but Chris caught you with ease, it was part of the show.
“How did they do that without magic?” Sirius asked, looking at Lily when the game began to start. Remus was too busy looking at you to listen to Lily's answer. He noticed you were talking and laughing with the team as the players started the game. Peter and James were watching in awe as the players tackled the other team pushing them to the ground with a harsh force. Lily and Remus were looking at the players running back and forth not understanding anything, they wince when one of the players tackled one while holding the ball. Half way through the game Sirius had his head against Remus’ shoulder as he took a nap with a half empty bucket of popcorn on his lap, he begged Lily to buy it for him since they don’t accept galleons.
The horn rang out loud again making Sirius yelp as he woke up spilling his popcorn on the floor.
“Did she win?” He asked in a sleepy tone to Remus, making him chuckle. “She is not the one playing, Padfoot.” James answered as the game went into halftime.
“Who’s winning?” Lily looked at the giant screen showing the count. “This school is.”
“Yay! It means she is winning.” Sirius said, picking up the bucket from the ground with Remus’ help. James and Peter were dancing around when a catchy song started to play through the intercom. Remus watched ahead at you as the girls started to shout out phrases making the crowd cheer.
“LET’S GO! LET’S GO! WE ARE THE BEST! WE CAN'T BE BEAT!”
Remus saw your eyes widen when you saw Lily. You waved at her as you continued to shout. Lily let out a squeal as she waved back at you. You were doing the usual routine, clapping your hands and turning around to shake your hips when you saw your sister. Your heart grew at the sight of your sister, she came to see you. You missed her so much. Looking to her left, your mouth dropped when you saw him. It was Remus Lupin, your sister’s best friend who you had a crush on since you were little. Quickly closing your mouth you continued with the routine but didn’t look away from him. Remus gave you a smile and you gave him one as well. You met Remus when Lily got back home after her first year in Hogwarts. He was tall for his age and nervous. He had scars on his face and you noticed he had it on his arms as well. You didn't ask him about it, you just told him if he wanted to play in the backyard. As the years passed the three of you would play around and walk around town. He always came to visit every year. Remus has always been kind and treated you respectfully. Giving you his cozy sweater or cardigan whenever you were cold or he would grab something from the top shelf for you when you couldn’t. He would let you grab a hold of his arm when walking around town knowing he walked faster since he had long legs.
You didn't know when the feelings for Remus began. You think you always liked him and the moment you realize when you really did was when Remus noticed one of your shoes had become untied while taking him to the bookstore as Lily stayed home with her parents helping them get started with dinner. He told you to lean against the nearest building and you obey. He knelt down in front of you on one leg and helped you place your foot on his knee. You couldn't help but tense up when you felt his hand on your leg. His long fingers work on your shoe laces; he looks up at you when he's done. He gives you a smile making your cheeks flare up.
“Thanks Rem Rem.” You said removing your foot from his knee. Remus doesn't move from his spot when you get closer to him. He’s too busy looking at you to notice your hand coming up to his face. He feels your fingers run through his sandy curls, something you were dying to do when he began to grow his hair out.
Before both of you could say anything, someone had cleared their throat and stood in front of them. “Excuse me.”
The older woman with a cart passed by , walking down the side walk ignoring Remus and your apologies.
That was two summers ago. You couldn't see Remus' last break since you went to cheer camp. You had written to Lily asking about him and how he was doing. You wanted to write to him. You really did but you were nervous he wouldn’t reply back. You wonder if he had a girlfriend. You didn't ask Lily about it, you were far too embarrassed. You didn't think he would ever want to be with a “Muggle.” Lily told you the term when she told you about Hogwarts and her magic. You continued to hold your stare at Remus. You couldn't look away, he looked so handsome. Lily notices your smile and your blushing face, she looks over at Remus who had a smile on his face.
“You were so eye fucking him.” One of your friends said after the routine was done and the football players started to head back to the field.
“No, I wasn’t.” You said turning around looking seriously at the field. The rest of the girls giggled before one spoke. “He got a lot of scars on his face.”
“He was in an accident.” You lied to them before looking over at your shoulder at your sister and her friends. You have only met Remus but you've heard of the rest and known their names. Your sister had told you about Remus and his wolf problem. You didn't believe it at first but you knew Lily wasn’t the type to make shit up. You were okay with it, Remus never changed, he was still the nice guy you knew and you came to term that the guy you liked became a werewolf once in a full moon. You were glad, Remus had his friends helping him during those times. You never told Remus you knew, not even that day when he so kindly knelt down to tie your shoe or when he gifted you a book.
“The guy next to him with long dark hair is pretty cute.” You just smiled at the girls gushed at your sister's friend. Lily and the Marauders stood by the parking lot of the school waiting for you to come out. James noticed how nervous Lily was as she kept looking for you over the mass of people.
“She’ll be here, dear.” James said, rubbing Lily’s back as they waited for you.
“Yeah, Lils.” Sirius said getting near her. He looks over at Remus who was looking for you as well.
“Oi! There she is.” Peter shouted out and pointed at the exit of the school. Remus watched as you walked out with a duffel bag, hanging on your shoulder as you spoke with someone. Remus smile dropped when he saw it was one of the football players. He wore a jersey with the number 6 and had his own bag over his broad shoulder. Remus can't help but notice how the player looked. The guy was taller then him, had muscles and another thing that made Remus' heart sink was the guy had no scars on his face.
He wouldn't be surprised to find out that he was your boyfriend. Cheerleaders go out with football players, that's the normal thing, Remus thought.
Lily yells your name as she waved her hands in the air. Remus saw you quickly look at them and placed a hand on the guy’s arm before running towards Lily. Remus couldn't help but smile as you threw your bag at the ground and hugged Lily. Shoving his hands in the pocket of his cardigan, he looks over at the sisters embracing each other.
“I missed you so much.” You cried in Lily’s neck. “Me too.” Lily said, pulling away to kiss your cheek.
“I brought the boys.” Lily said, looking over at her shoulder. Remus saw you smile bright at the sight of him.
“REM REM.” You called out, speed walking to Remus. Sirius and James shared a look when you wrapped your arms around Remus’ body. Remus did the same hugging you by the shoulders with both arms. Remus couldn't help but run his fingers through your hair as you looked up at him. You had taken the scrunchie out, he noticed you wore it on your wrist.
You gave Sirius and Peter a hug, greeting them. Lily introduced you to James and you immediately frowned.
“Should I kick your ass now or later?” James' mouth dropped out and was about to say something when Lily and you started to burst out in laughter.
“She told me you were a little shit.” Sirius and Peter laughed.
“How can you say that about me, Lils?” James said with a gasp not understanding it was a joke. You knew about James Potter and knew your sister liked him before she even realized it herself. You have read pages of Lily, telling you about James Potter. She wrote how ridiculous and rude he was but at the end of the letters Lily always wrote that James' hair looked cute.
“She was joking, dear.” You nodded at him as Lily gave him a kiss on his cheek.
“That's right. I'm just joking. She said far worse things.” You said making Lily shout your name. “I’m joking.” You told him before looking over at Sirius, Peter and Remus shaking your head making them laugh.
“My brother in law isn’t a little shit.” You said as you hugged James who grew red like Lily’s hair when you called him brother in law.
“Keep messing with him, Y/n. He’ll turn you into a toad.” Lily said, making you gasp then looked at James.
“Can you really do that?! Can you make me into a tiger instead?” You asked frantically as you looked at James who laughed at your enthusiasm.
“Oh my god, can you turn this guy’s hair red for me?” You asked James. “Remember, we have rules. We can’t use magic outside of the school grounds.” You sighed at her.
“That’s so dumb.” You said as Sirius walked towards you. He placed an arm over your shoulder and agreed with you.
“Wait for next year. We got you. What color tiger do you want to be?” Sirius asked, wiggling his eyebrows at you. Remus watched as you smiled at Sirius before tapping your chin as you thought of an answer. You were about to answer when he heard your name being called out.
Remus watched as the same football player came running towards you. Sirius noticed Remus’ face and tugged you closer to him. He wasn’t going to let some beefy guy with a helmet who runs over people for fun get a hold of his best friend’s girl.
“Lincoln is throwing a house party to celebrate our win. Are you coming?” You looked over at Lily and looked back at him.
“Can my sisters and her friends come too?” He quickly nodded as a green jeep drove up by them.
“Yo! Evans! Are you coming to the party?!” The driver asks you. “Yeah! She is going to bring some people.” The football player told the driver.
“You guys want to come?” You turned to them. James looks over at Lily.
“You haven’t been to a house party before, Lily. This can be a good experience for you.” Peter and Sirius agreed while James waited for Lily to answer.
“Rem Rem?” You asked as you walked towards Remus.
“I guess we can stop by for a few hours.” Remus said as you grabbed a hold of his hand. Remus looks over at Lily and tilts his head at her.
“Let's go.” You let out a squeal and kiss her cheek. “Mike, can we hitch a ride with you?” You asked the driver.
“Sure thing, love. Seb, I’ll follow you.” Mike said, looking out the window at the football player.
“Alright, I’ll be back.” Seb said as Mike parked his car in front of them.
“What about dad?” Lily asked as James and Peter got inside the car. Sirius grabs your bag from the ground, throwing it in the back of the car.
“Don’t worry. I’ll call dad when we are there.” Sirius helped Lily up in the jeep car.
“One of you guys can come in the front.” Mike said as he waiting for them to get in. Sirius looks at Remus and you, both of you are still holding hands.
“Moony! Go to the back with Little Evans.” Sirius said as he walked to the passenger seat. Mike looks at Sirius who sat beside him and shut the door.
“Moony?” Mike asked as he looked over at Sirius who sat down and shut the car door. “It’s just a nickname. Name is Sirius but you can call me, Padfoot.” Sirius said as Lily told him to put on his seatbelt but Sirius was too in enthrall looking at Mike to even listen to her.
“Nice to meet you, Padfoot. I’m Mike.” Sirius leaned back in his seat when Mike got close to him. Sirius blushes when Mike got close to him. Mike had short black hair showing his pierced ears and his eyes were light brown.
“Seat belts are important.” Mike said in a soft tone as he grabbed it for Sirius. Mike gives him a smile when he clicks it, making sure it was correctly in place and leans back in his seat.
“Rem Rem, would you mind if I sit on your lap?” Remus looks over to see Lily sitting on James lap as Peter sat in the middle.
When Remus didn’t answer, you whispered to him. “It’s alright, if you mind. I can catch a ride with someone else.”
Remus still didn’t answer and with a heavy heart you were about to shut the door when he grabbed a hold of your arm.
“Yes, you can sit down. Please do.” James snorts a laugh behind Lily’s hair as Remus practically tugs you inside the car. Remus shuts the door as you settle down in his lab. He spreads his legs to make room for your legs. Remus can smell the light scent of your body spray, he’s so close to you. The car started to move and there was a bump in the road. You were about to fall forward when he wrapped his arms around your stomach, pulling you to his chest.
“You okay?” Remus asked behind you. Your cheeks grew hot when you felt his breath behind your ear.
“Yeah.” You whispered as you grabbed his arm. Your fingers began to play with the fabric of his cardigan. He feels so warm behind you. So comfortable, you feel the roughness of his jeans against your bare legs. You hear Lily and James talking to Mike about their “boarding school.”
Remus was thinking hard as he shut his eyes. He thought of vomit, James vomiting, Peter vomiting, Sirius vomiting on Peter and James. He thought of it as he felt your ass against his crotch.
“Gross thoughts. Gross thoughts.” He tells himself.
He felt you lean back and look at him. “I did miss you, Remus.” You whispered as the window of the car rolled down.
Remus looks at you and holds you close as Mike makes a left.
“I missed you too.” Remus admits. He always waited for Lily to receive your letter so he could find out how you were. He was devastated when Lily told him you were going to cheer camp last summer. He didn’t see you that summer and he felt bad for lying to Lily whenever she asked him why he had a long face.
“You know maybe next time, I can write-.” Peter's wow cuts them off when Mike parked in front of a large house.
Remus stood behind you as everyone made their way into the house. Sirius and Peter stood close as they walked inside looking at the other students on the couch, or dancing in the living room. Some where in the corner smoking while others were in the back yard playing something Remus told them was called Beer Pong.
“Holy shit! If it isn’t the captain in the flesh.” A girl came at you, hugging you. She was a bit taller and wore the same cheerleading uniform as you.
“When Seb told me you were coming. I couldn’t believe it. He went out to get more beer for you.” You tsk at her before shaking her head.
“Christina, he didn’t have too. I’m not planning on drinking. I just wanted to show my sister and her friends who just came to visit me the party.” You said looking over Lily and the guys. Peter's eyes were wide as he saw it was the blonde he was fawning over earlier. Peter thought he was going to have a stroke when the blonde introduced herself to everyone and gave each of them a kiss on the cheek.
“Please tell your sister to relax.” Christina said, looking over at Lily.
“She never comes to our house party. Our captain is a good girl but finally she is at her first party. She needs to have a drink.”
“Peter, why don’t you help her get some drinks for us.” Peter looks over at you with a face. You gave him a wink and signaled your head to Christina. It was painfully obvious that he liked her.
“Oh yes, come with me.” Christina said, holding out her hand for Peter. Everyone smiled as Peter without a single thought, grabbed a hold of her hand and let Christina drag him to the kitchen.
“She’s harmless. I swear.” You said looking over at the kitchen again.
“Is it true then?” Sirius asked with a smirk. “You’re a good girl? You never drink?”
“Of course, she is. She’s just like me.” Lily said, walking over to you making you chuckle.
You tried your best to not look Remus. A bit embarrassed that your friends had outed you and told your sister and her friends that you were a prude and a good girl who doesn’t do anything bad.
“Yo!” Remus watched the same football player you were talking come behind you.
“Christina said you’re drinking.” Lily's eyes widened at the sight of the football player towering over them. He had a case of beer over his shoulder, showing his muscles.
“Only one, Seb. By the way, this is my sister and these are her friends.” Remus felt like he needed to drink something before lashing out when he saw Seb placing a hand on your shoulder after handing them the cans of beer.
“I want you guys to meet my boyfriend. BABY!” Remus looks up from his beer at the guy. Wait boyfriend, Remus and Sirius glance at each other as Chris from earlier comes towards them with a smile.
James saw Chris come over and give a kiss to Chris before looking over at them. “You met my boyfriend, Seb.”
Remus chuckles to himself. Seb wasn't your boyfriend. Remus liked how you interacted with them. He liked seeing you smiling and talking. He didn’t know you were quite popular. He felt childish whenever he got a little bit jealous when a guy came over to talk to you. He couldn’t help it though you were so beautiful. Of course, guys are going to come up to you. He was glad that you didn’t leave them to talk to someone else. You had introduced them to practically everyone.
Lily and James were dancing while Peter and Christina were in the kitchen, getting their seventh drink of the night. Remus can’t help but smirk when he sees Sirius and Mike leaning close together against the wall. Sirius was showing Mike, his silver rings on his fingers. Remus looks away when he sees you walking back to him with two more beers. He made room for you on the couch and thanked you when you handed him one.
“Are you having a good time?” Remus looks over at you. Your cheeks were a bit flushed and your eyes were glossy, you had more than one beer. You had a smile on your face as you played with the tab of the can. Remus bumps his knee with yours.
“I am. You?” You nod at him as he takes a sip. Remus notices as a couple walking in front of you and sat across from him and you. The girl recognized you as well as the guy she was with. The girl had bright red hair while the guy had his hair neon green. The couple were from your art class, you told him. You were talking with them when you accidently placed your hand on top of his. Remus blushed when you grabbed a hold of his hand as you laughed at them.
"Did you hear them?" Remus smiles and nods at you. He haven't heard a thing, he was freaking out on inside that you were holding his hand. He didn’t let go, he didn’t want you to let go
“To be honest, I’m surprised you’re here. You’re usually reading or in the library. Always reading that weird brown book.” Remus looks up at the girl's words.
“What?” He asked and looked over at you who was blushing really hard.
“She always has this brown book. A fairytale about these four people. They are witches or something.” She said before looking over at her boyfriend.
“Yeah, what is it again? Dude is a lion and one is a snake.” Remus frowns as they continue to speak. “You looked inside of it?” Remus felt you sit up straight.
“Only for a second, we just wanted to know what it was. You're always reading it.”
“Oh shit! I remember! They were wizards and they made this school or something.” Remus' heart dropped when she said that.
You still had the book he gifted you a while back. It was a gift he had given you for your birthday. He remembered he had bought it in Hogsmeade and wrapped it in a paper bag. He remembers the face you make when he sat beside you as you open the book. It was filled with colorful photos and all information about Hogwarts and the four founding members. You had given him a kiss on the cheek when you turned a page and saw the photos were moving.
“They have an orgy at the end?” The guy asks you with a laugh and Remus notices the awkward look on your face.
“They all die.” Remus answered a bit harshly.
“I’m going out for some air.” You said quickly getting up from the couch, letting go of his hand and walking out the back door.
You didn’t realize Remus was following you. He excuses himself to your friends and follows you. He placed his beer on the kitchen counter as he went through the back door where you went. Making your way further to the backyard, you threw your beer on the ground. You sighed to yourself, you felt embarrassed and worry. You were sure that Remus was angry at you for letting someone look in the book that he had gifted you. It would be best if no one got a hold of it, he had told you and made you promise to never show it to anyone. That book was the only thing from Remus and you had carried it everywhere with you. You had read countless times front to back. You read all the stories about the houses and the professors in it. You had daydreamed about going to Hogwarts to see your sister and Remus.
Remus calls your name out when he sees you leaning against a tree. Looking over your shoulder, he saw you were going to cry. He quickly goes to you.
“What’s wrong?” He asked as he wrapped an arm around you.
“I’m sorry. They saw the book. I know I promise you no one would look at it. Please don’t be mad at me.” Remus shakes his head as he drops his arm around you.
“It’s okay. I’m not mad at you.” You look up at a Remus with tears welled up in your eyes. Remus quickly wipe the single tear that managed to escape your eye.
“You kept the book.” Remus said as his hand cupped your cheek then slowly dropped down at your neck. His fingers touched the neckline of your uniform. You lean against him before looking down at the ground all shy.
“Of course, you gave it to me as a gift. I love it.” You didn’t say anything else when Remus brought his hand under your chin.
“It’s been years and you still read it?” You nod at him when he made you look up at him.
“Why?” He asked, looking down at your face.
“It reminds me of Lily.” Remus was going to pull away at your answer. Perhaps he thought wrong, he thinks to himself. Maybe you didn’t feel anything for him.
“I think of you too, Remus.” He comes to a halt. "I imagine what it would be like to go to school with you."
"I imagine that too." Remus admitted. "I would walk you to your classes. I'll take you to the Black Lake and to the Astronomy Tower. Then at the weekends, I'll take you out to Hogsmeade."
"I would have love that." You tell him. "Lily told me that the Astronomy Tower is usually where people go to.." You don't finish your sentence, there was no need because Remus knew. People go up there when feeling frisky.
He chuckles and rub the back of his neck avoid eye contact with you. You knew it was now or never when Remus began to stutter, trying to come up with something.
“I want to tell you something. It might seem dumb to you because I'm your best friend's little sister. I like you and before you say anything. I’m sure there are pretty witches at your school and you might have someone already but I like you, Remus. I like you a lot.” Remus felt you about to back away when he didn’t say anything.
He quickly leans down to kiss your lips, give you a peck. Sirius’ words echoed in his mind about telling you the truth.
“Remus..” You said his name softly.
“I like you too.” Remus shyly said as he pulled you into his chest.
“I like you so much that I don’t even look at the witches in school. I don’t care that you’re a muggle.” Remus said easing your insecurities.
When it was time to leave, Remus didn’t want to go. There was one last week until starting a new school year. He had begged his parents to let him stay for a few more weeks after the house party. Your relationship with him blossomed after that night. When he stayed over at the Evans, he slept on the couch. Every night he stayed, he waited up for you to quietly go down the stairs. He would bite his bottom lip to not make a noise when you straddle him to kiss him. Making out until dawn and talking in hushed whispers about his interests and yours, talking about books and movies.
When it was time to go, Lily’s father was nice enough to take me to the train station. Remus and you were behind the house away from everyone, he towered over you as he kissed you.
“Write to me. Promise me you’ll write to me.” He begs as he nuzzles into your neck.
“I will. I promise it. Once a week.” Remus shakes his head. “Everyday.” You looked at him with wide eyes and repeated it in a shocking tone.
“Your owl will get tired.” Remus shakes his head once more.
“I’ll give him treats and feed him more.” Remus said with a smile before sighing.
“I’m going to miss you.” Remus told you sadly.
“One more year and you’re out.” You whispered to him as you kissed him. You pulled away at the sound of Lily calling for him and you.
Remus wants to tell you about Moony. He really did it every time he was going to bring it out, something or someone will get in the way. He was sure that you were going to break up with him once you found out. It was crazy enough that he was a wizard but he’s a werewolf as well. Remus was deep in thought as he gave Mr. Evans his luggage so he could put it in the trunk of his car.
“Bye, Moony!” Remus' head shot up and saw you waving at him by the front door. Lily comes out behind you and waves bye at Remus.
It was a week back in school and Remus was eating breakfast when the mail started to fly in. One by one owls came flying though and dropped letters and mail to the students. Remus knew you wouldn’t write back. You knew his nickname. Moony, he was pretty sure you were smart enough to figure it out. He didn’t mention it to Lily about it. Afraid to ruin his friendship with her but he told Sirius it.
“Oh! Moony!” Sirius shouted as he watched the white envelope slowly falling down in front of Remus.
Remus looks up from his plate and stands up, reaching to grab the letter. Sirius looks over as Remus quickly opens it. Sirius can’t help but smile at the sight of his best mate looking happy as he read the letter from you.
"She knows." Remus said looking at Sirius. "And?" Sirius asked worry as Remus went back to read the letter.
"If you think being one will make me like you less. You are wrong, Remus Lupin." They shared a smile and Remus pulls out a red scrunchie from inside the envelope. Remus pulls his sleeves up so he can put it around his wrist.
Sirius turns back to his plate and raises a brow when he notices a letter next to him. Opening it up, he can’t fight the urge to smile wide when he sees it was from Mike.
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aprilthearcher · 8 months ago
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#masterlist
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pick a trinket! ordered from oldest to newest acquisitions.
succession
roman roy:
short blurb ― you go back home and roman is waiting for a reunion with the person that knows him best.
burning red ― after coming back, you find out roman is seeing someone, just after you've realised your feelings for him.
pining and anticipation ― roman makes an effort to try to appear more serious in front of you.
no glimpse of relief ― roman only needs you at the moment.
this hope is treacherous ― an interesting conversation takes place during the wedding of roman's mother.
life in plastic ― you invite Roman to watch Barbie with you.
that boyish look ― Roman is bored and wants to go out, but you're studying for one of your exams.
harry potter saga
remus lupin:
me and you... were meant to be (slytherin!reader) ― remus takes you by surprise after saying that things between the two of aren't working anymore. james, who wants nothing but happiness for two of his greatest friends, steps in.
lost the game of chance ― the school is abuzz with the rumours that you and remus have called it all off.
willow (muggle!reader who's a Tarot reader) ― a quiet evening spent in remus' arms after your last client of the day (finally) leaves.
I'll be on my way ― Remus has a hard time accepting the fact that his partner has been captured by Death Eaters.
harry potter:
replaying your laughter (slytherin!fem!reader)― Harry has a crush on a Slytherin, which could collapse the entire school, but he doesn't seem to care much.
more to come!
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aprilthearcher · 8 months ago
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actually proud of this one!
willow
remus lupin x muggle!reader (who's a Tarot reader). wc: 1,2k. semi-modern!au. no voldermort apparently. warnings: some curse words, mentions of a spirit. short but sweet!
When I heard the echo of footsteps in the hallway and a jolly tune whistled softly, I knew the session had to be finished. Usually, by the time Remus would get home, my last session would’ve wrapped up over half an hour ago, giving me time to collect myself and tidy the mess the studio fell inevitably into. Today, though, was different. The last client of the day, Tilly, a twenty-four year old girl who believed her destiny was to spend the rest of her life alone, was more agitated than she normally would be. A shook up Tilly was, by no means, anything new; yet, this altered shift to her already altered personality was brought on, surely, by the upcoming Holidays. This time of the year has, definitely, a way to get into people’s heads. 
I hand Tilly the last tissue of the box at the same time I’m standing up and putting the cards away. Some might call it multitasking, I call it “telling my client they must leave”. She dries her tears and murmurs how sorry she is that this took up so much of my time. ‘Nonsense, don’t worry about it’, I murmur back like the complete loser I am, because no amount of work has ever made me move on from my people-pleaser tendencies. She did, in fact, take up a lot of my time, more than what the usual session costs; I should have been ready to go by now.
I open the door to the studio and cough loudly and a little bit more than necessary, but it is a precaution I take every time I have a client leaving and Remus is around. The last thing I need is for one of them to see him using his wand. They might believe in what my cards can tell them about their love lives or job opportunities and new horizons, but I don’t want to have my clients obliviated. 
Discreetly, I look around the flat only to catch Remus putting away the groceries he must’ve got on his way home using his hands, thank God. He looks up wearing a comfortable smile on his face and waves at us. Before Tilly can even utter a word, I take her arm and lead her to the door, charging her more than what I usually do. Without complaining, she slides the bills on my hand.
“Is that your…?” Tilly starts to ask before I interrupt her by opening the door and smiling a little bit too much to be genuine.
“Goodbye, Tilly. See you next time!” I shut the door before she could even realise she’s out of the flat.
Making my way into the kitchen, I jump onto the counter, swinging my legs while I grab a biscuit from one of the jars. Remus is finishing with the groceries, but he’s now using his wand. I admire the fridge opening at the same time some dairies jump from the brown bag and float around the kitchen until they are neatly stored inside the fridge. Next, the lid of the cookie jar by my side starts hovering over it while more cookies enter and fill it; the crumbling of the paper is heard for a second and then it falls into the bin. I look back towards Remus, but instead there is a bag of the sweetest candy floating in front of my face, which immediately lights up. My hands try to grab it, but I’m a second too late and the bag is already flying away from me.
“You know, that’s not a nice thing to do to your non-magical girlfriend, you bastard.”
“Well, what you did to your client is also not a nice thing to do.” Ugh, the nerve. “Also, you’re not non-magical.”
“Am I not, in your world’s term, a simple muggle?”
“Yeah, well, my world can be magical but not updated on muggles. You’re not, not in the least, simple.” The final groceries are put away as Remus approaches me, settling one of his hands on my thigh, climbing till it finally rests on my waist, and the other on my cheek, tilting my head upwards so he can see my face. “That’s not what I was saying, though. You,” stressing and stretching the last sound, “are going to be clientless one day if you keep slamming the door on their faces.”
There’s an unimpressed look on my face, probably from just trying to let him talk and not attack his lips after not seeing him for the entirety of the afternoon. I like the way his voice sounds. It makes it harder to concentrate.
“That look would get you into Slytherin in a second.”
“Your magical world should upgrade in all senses, then. Cannot believe they sort you into houses and there’s a whole rivalry round that. Fuckin’ cliché.” He laughs. Next thing I know, the sight of him drawing his lower lip between his teeth makes me dizzy. I hook my arms round his neck, playing with a few strands of his hair while I sit straight and get closer to his face.
“Missed you,” I whisper.
Remus furrows his eyebrows, incredulous look on his eyes and a teasing smile appearing on his face. “Since when do you say ‘missed you’?”
“Since I’ve just spent the whole afternoon listening to a girl that reminded me too much of myself in my twenties. I hated seeing everyone from my friend group with a girlfriend or getting married to the boy they’ve been with since high school while I was alone or getting ghosted by asshats.” 
“I wasn’t much of a dating guy during my Hogwarts years either,” Remus shrugs his shoulders.
“Still, you were learning fricking magic, flying round in your brooms, making love potions. That has to count for something!” My hands stop playing with his hair to rest into their designated place, his back. From under his festive red and green sweater, I draw circles with the tips of my fingers. “Meanwhile, I was learning Tarot and had a spirit or- or something knock over my books every night.”
“A spirit?”
“Yeah, did I never tell you? Had to call the Supreme Sorceresses to get rid of it.”
“Let me guess, your mum and your aunt?”
“Who else?” 
He laughs again, and Remus is sure he will not get tired of his own laugh; not that it is related to his ego or something, but he loves knowing his laughs are a result of her presence. What else is he supposed to do around her other than laugh? She’s joyful and full of mirth, moving through life with a wicked pack of cards and no wand, creating and leaving magic everywhere she goes in her own way. He knew he would follow her to whatever her mind or those cards would take her. 
He bumps her nose with hers and when she closes her eyes with a smile lightning up her face in anticipation of their lips brushing against each other, he knows he has her. He will have her for as long as she’ll have him.
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