arcanes-things

[arcanes-things]

THINGS i LEFT UNSAID- VII

30.10.2024,

Walking alone in the dark...

Broken into million pieces threatening to fall apart...

I found someone who loved me and my broken ruins,

I clutched to him closer, not knowing I am turning him into ruins...

Now, I see him covered in blood, with pieces of me stuck in him like broken glass, him in tears, endless series of pain and despair...

Hopes buried 6ft under, Is it too far to continue? The more I move, the deeper it digs...

Or is this love not worthy of bliss...?

[arcanes-things]

Things I Left Unsaid - VI

11. 10. 2024

Yes, i do have feelings for you. But I know my boundaries. So please... Just let me admire you from afar, hug you through my words, flirt with you just so that you wouldn't think that I am avoiding you, or eyeing you wierdly. Just reigniting a part of me that I never thought is capable enough to exist.

So please, let shower you with love, from afar... Till these feelings go away.

Those eyes, that light reflecting through it, so raw when you are listening, your voice that holds patience, your shifty behavior, sincerity to your academics, how your name sounds... Everything, indeed a butterfly... Butterfly never really held that much meaning for me. Until I used it one day to describe you...

I wish I wasn't much of a coward to own up to you... But then again... How much do I even know about love?

[arcanes-things]

THINGS I LEFT UNSAID- V

09-10-2024

"I hate you!!!" "I hate you, I hate your very existence. I hate the way you snicker after making fun of me. I hate how you envy me. I hate how you belittle me, I hate how you said 'Be careful, the way you break your watches and your phone, your husband will break your marriage.' It wasn't funny, no one laughed. I hate how you thought it was ok for you to say that. I hate you. I hate the very air you breathe."

These were the words that I wanted to say to you. But I held my peace. I watched you suffer, I watched as you suffered your very own personal hell, that was custom-made for you, by you. But even till then, I was too blind to call you a friend. The betrayal hit and everything made sense once we broke apart. That is when we drifted apart because you got upset over a matter that was child's play. But now you suffer your own demise. I won't call myself a saint, for I have equally sinned. But in the days when I look back at every action you took and every word you said, it makes my blood boil making me wish that, time had turned back and I had said these words out loud…

" That we are nothing close to friends. We came together because of convenience. Where I took it as a genuine bond, you looked at it for your own gain. How could you be so cheap? How could you be so unhappy? You wronged me in every step of life, you became the core reason why I hate the way I smile, and I hate the way I act, I am afraid to be me. The reason that I lost my spark. Never have I ever, wished for anyone's demise, but for you, if I have to be banished to the depth of hell for asking it, I would willingly burn in hell. But as long as you are burning deeper than I am. I am happy with it. "

Evil much? I don't know. Because there hasn't been a person who has damaged me as you have done to me before. So, now that you are still suffering, I have matured enough to let it go. Thanks to you, I am now flourishing and becoming a better person. I still hate you though, I have cut you off from my life, but still, there is another one, the 3rd member of the trio that I have kept in contact with, just so I know you would see it, and be jealous again. And I will laugh at you again. When I am happy with my life, that's where you belong, behind my back. You are a coward to never come in front…

[arcanes-things]

THING I LEFT UNSAID-IV

21.09.2024

The day spent busy, but when the night rolls around, when I am alone with my lone company. I often wonder about him. The possibilities just a "Yes" could unlock...

Against my very intention, I end up dreaming. What I could do for him, and everything, I would overcome just because he said so... but I lay on my bed lonely in my dorms with nothing but my imagination. Keeping me company.

Snuggling into my fluffy blanket, as I feel guilty, it would be rather unfair to him than it is to me. Because I fell for him alone. And that I am too cowardly to reach out.

but one day, I would reach out. I would confess everything I have felt for him. Then brace myself to be left lonesome again. Because I find ways to forget it than to face it. It's peaceful enough to enjoy but lonely enough to regret my past decisions.

[arcanes-things]

THINGS I LEFT UNSAID-III

21.09.2024

During Microeconomics class, Mam said something along the lines, "Specializing in everything is impossible."

Everything is possible, as long as you have the wish, resources, and willpower to do so.

And 'everything' in my terms is also a hypothetical term in my head and views, everything means the things that I put importance in.

It is very true when people say time is money. In my view, 'everything' is hypothetical. This world is the basis of a big assumption. With assumption things come into existence, with assumption things seize from existence.

[arcanes-things]

THINGS I LEFT UNSAID-II

16.05.2024

"Sis? What is love?" My little sister sat smug as the question lingered and the void filled the atmosphere of my room with an air of gloominess.

That day I sat beneath the moonlight thinking about what love is... Since it is way out of my bounds to describe what love could be. Some described it as the secret of their success, of how beautiful it could be, and how it makes a person become the best version of themselves, and how it breaks a person into something unsaid.

Be it staring at the guy on the first bench, or staring at him when our friend group bustles with excitement, admiring how much he makes me feel at ease and yet so nervous... Or just giving my mom a big hug, appreciating what she has been through for me... Or just sitting and admiring the moon...

Even though love has brought us so many tales to tell... Still, Love can be scary... Scary enough to cause chaos.

So, do I have an answer to that lingering question? No... Since I lack the experience of love so true that even the moon is the witness to... Rest are the things I can't yet comprehend...

[arcanes-things]

THINGS I LEFT UNSAID-I

16.05.2024,

"What is your deepest darkest fear?" He asked as he sunk back into the mattress with sleep taking over him, as the question lay unanswered as he drifted into a deep slumber...

Leaving me wondering what could be the possible answer to this crucial question,

'what am I afraid of?' Fear of heights? Fear of losing a loved one? or could it lie in the deepest corner of my heart? I wanted to get noticed by my own parents growing up, Oldest kid in the family, so everyone raised me except my own parents did? Somehow I could grab everyone's attention, but why were they both unfazed?

So from then till now, all I have ever sought for is attention... Scared to disappoint them, I guess? Scared of being considered a nuisance and a waste of space. All those exterior fears don't matter in front of what actually lies deep down what makes me, me... But would I share this with him?

Only Time will tell... Time doesn't heal, it helps us learn how to live with it...

[arcanes-things]

when the 1975 said "you do make me hard, but she makes me weak", when taylor swift said "my love should be celebrated, but you tolerate it" when harry style said "even my phone misses your call, by the way" when olivia rodrigo said "well, I hope, I was your favourite crime" when frank ocean said "i will always love you until the time we die" and when taylor swift said "I never thought we'd have a last kiss."

[arcanes-things]

"No grave can hold my body down. I'll crawl home to her."

– Hozier, "Work Song"

[arcanes-things]

"Night air, good conversations, and a sky full of stars can heal almost any wound".

- Beau Taplin

🎼 Itaewon class-sweet night🎼

[arcanes-things]

a bouquet of love

summary- yeonjun always keep one flower to himself from your bouquet and you can't figure out why.

one flower.

you for the life of you couldn't wrap your head around it. whenever yeonjun gave you a bouquet, you noticed how there was one singular flower of the same kind sitting promptly on yeonjun’s countertop. first gone unnoticed until around the third or fourth set of flowers.

yeonjun always did little things that left you perplexed. always taking the long way home, watching movies on live television when he already owned them. he was a puzzle you were dying to solve.

you sat there, propped up on your elbows, staring at the singular rose that faced you.

“baby?" yeonjun calls.

"yeah?" immediately refocusing your stares onto him in front of you.

"can you pass the salt?" he asks with a small smile.

you do nothing but smile in return as you push the salt yeonjun’s way.

"now, I know your rule, but just for once let the cook clean up." yeonjun speaks, breaking the small silence.

"but-"

"i know today wasn't the easiest so let me, please." he pleads.

"i never said today was hard." you replied, not necessarily denying it.

"you said your friend called out, I know things tend to be rough without her on saturdays." yeonjun retorts.

"i don't deserve you, yeonjun." reaching over the counter to lightly press a small kiss to yeonjun’s lips.

yeonjun kept his promise, cleaning up while telling you about the next song he was working on.

your arms find their way wrapped around yeonjun’s waist as he hums in response.

your eyes meet the rose once again.

"why do you always keep one?" you blurt out.

yeonjun wipes his hands on the wash cloth, turning around. he blinks for a moment before tilting his head, "what?"

"the flowers. whenever you get me flowers you keep one. not that I mind I mean obviously keep one if you like the flowers, but-"

"oh! I keep one to see when it dies." yeonjun interrupts.

"you what..?" you said being even more lost than before.

"you know, so I know when to get you more." he states as if this was common knowledge.

all of your thoughts are consumed by yeonjun. like a wave swallowing you whole and you wanted to be pulled under.

everything yeonjun did made your heart pound. the way yeonjun leaves little notes around the house for you. the way yeonjun's smile leaves you breathless. the way yeonjun scrunches his face when you tell a terrible joke. the way yeonjun didn't understand how absolutely perfect he was.

"i love you." you confess, barely above a whisper. quite obviously terrified to say it out loud.

"that's good because i love you too." yeonjun says, calming you down instantly, not that your heart wasn't still racing.

"i'm gonna kiss you now." is all you say before cupping yeonjun's cheek and smashing your lips together.

[arcanes-things]

You, me and Paint

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Part-1

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Pairing: Jungkook x Fem! Reader

Genre: soft smut, can be angsty

Synopsis: make up smut, paint, Anger, misunderstandings, established relationships, love.

Warning: 18+

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Summary: Being mad at a conversation jungkook, ran off to his office, he had a bad day as he scolds everyone he sees in his office...

He stood infront of his house, whether to knock or not, as he knows for sure that you are annoyed and upset at the way he spoke, he didnt feel remorse cause he wasnt wrong, and you shouldn't have pointed his working principles so it makes you both at fault. But both of you being stubborn no one apologised, pushing things even more at edge...

Peeking around the house he found the window facing the kitchen open, as he climbed in with shoes in his hands making sure to knock make his house dirty, as he turns around to see you with annoyed expression plastered over your face asking him,

"What are you doing?"

Ignoring you, he makes his way to the shoe rack as he walks away ignoring you completely to the shared bedroom, as he moves in to take a shower, the bathroom door opens, he walks out with a white towel wrapped around his tiny waist. Water dripping down his well defined abs, as he ruffles his hair in attempts to dry it, steam radiating of his body signalling that he took a very hot shower.

He walks into his office as he sees you working in the kitchen back facing him, spotting a canvas in he rubbernecks it to the preferred height as the idea of painting his feelings down hit him.

Squeezing red and black laquers, with a thick ended brush he lets his feelings flow from his heart to his painting, The shades of red with a little black and bluish golden strokes outlining showing the resplendence of the anger he had inside his hands moving like they had a mind of their own, as he mixed a green and yellow making a new tint, adding it to the spirit if art,

The whole colourless canvas now covered with shades of red and black with a pinch of bluish golden lines in between making it look baffling. He was lost in his painting, his now completed painting. His anger was infront of him in the form of beautiful shades of different hues. The atmosphere of red with a man of golden hugging a girl of greenish-yellow, with their life out burning up in flames as they hug eachother as the fire burns them together...

He was deep in staring at the piece he just made when he hears something fall. It was you, scanning his painting and staring at him with your eyes filled with words and emotions which were left unsaid, he had colours all over him, on his face, near his lips, his left eyebrow. And somewhere near his towel, on his collarbone he then realised he must have wiped it there by accident.

Not letting you see further he covers the painting as as he asks,

"From when?"

"The making of a man"

You answered looking right back into his eyes, he smiled internally realising that a few things that you both could understand without words being spoken.

An eye-contact was maintained, until it was broken by him as he pins you down on the wall nearby kissing you, he couldnt control himself, he couldn't control being pulled by you, his legs leads themselves towards you.

He wanted to stop... He wanted you to push him for all the anger outbursts, he wanted you go push him away... He couldn't stop, not when you are kissing him back with so much passion...

He couldn't help but biting your lips out of frustration, he can't push you away,

After years of spending together and going through every heartbreaking problems together, and multiple heartbreaks as well, you both still stood there together, kissing eachother passionately.

Yet he still had the audacity to think that your love for him is just obsession, when you didnt leave his side, not even once, the moments he pushed you away, you were still there for him, the moments he went back to his ex... You were still standing there your heart broken in 2 pieces, still smiling and saying that you're fine even with tears threatening to fall. You never gave up on him, nor were you planning to, yet he says that your love isnt true...

Or is he too afraid to love you? Or to commit to your love which is too too overwhelming for him? Or your just hard to love and to understand?

Everything running in his mind as he kisses you back, sucking on your lower lip as you submit to him fully...

Should he continue? Should he stop before he ends up taking steps before it ends up somewhere new?

Part 2?

[arcanes-things]

✨Poetic✨

MIRRORS

I wish I had a mirror to my soul Yet I know the blackness in it that I forever fought. I wish I knew if you saw me as whole Or just the beautiful things  your eyes sought Maybe I'd see this beauty everyone believed Caress the illusion in my reflection But I rather not, or I will be deceived I stupidly hope to  see perfection. What if one eye is blind to the noir? And the other can only see the white? I can only let my soul sing its repertoire And  sincerely pray you see it's light.

•°.`•°.`

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