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[aroacestuff]

[aroacestuff]

New to the aro community?

Here are some terms that you may come across and what they mean. Please reblog, like, and feel free to add onto the list via notes.

Aromantic: (or Aro) A term to describe someone who experiences little to no romantic attraction.

Aromantic Spectrum: (or aro-spec) A group of romantic orientations that all fall under the umbrella term of aromantic. This includes but is not limited to greyromantics, demiromantics, nebularomantics, etc!

A-spec: (or A-spectrum) An umbrella term for all identities on the asexual spectrum and aromantic spectrum. It can be used for anyone on the asexual spectrum, aromantic spectrum, or both. It is also sometimes used more broadly to include other identities that use the "a-" prefix, such as agender and aplatonic.

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Romance Repulsed: A term that is used most commonly by aromantic and other aro-spec individuals to indicate that they find romance or romantic activities to be disgusting, revolting, or otherwise uncomfortable.

It is sometimes also referred to as romance-negative or romance-averse, however these terms don't always work since they have their own definitions.

Romance Averse: A term that is used most commonly by aromantic and other aro-spec individuals to indicate that they find personally engaging in romance or romantic activities to be disgusting, revolting, or otherwise uncomfortable.

Romance Indifferent: A term used by aromantic and other aro-spec individuals to indicate that they have no strong feelings about romance.

Romance Favorable: A term used by aromantic and other aro-spec individuals to indicate that they enjoy romance, romantic activities, or the concept of romance.

It is sometimes also referred to as romance-positive, however this this term isn't always accurate as it has it's own definition.

Romance Ambivalent: A term used by aromantic and other aro-spec individuals to indicate they have mixed feelings towards romance.

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Queerplatonic Relationship: (or QPR) A term for a relationship that bends the rules for telling apart romantic relationships from non-romantic relationships. It typically goes beyond what is considered normal or socially acceptable for a platonic relationship but is not romantic in nature or does not fully fit the traditional idea of a romantic relationship. (also called a quasiplatonic relationship, quirkyplatonic relationship, or qplatonic relationship)

Queerplatonic Attraction: A form of attraction experienced mainly, but not exclusively, by a-spec people. It is characterized by a desire to have a queerplatonic relationship with someone in particular. (also known as Quasiplatonic Attraction, Quirkyplatonic Attraction, or Qplatonic Attraction)

Plush: A queerplatonic crush, where one strongly desires to be in a qpr with a particular person.

Squish: A platonic crush, where one strongly desires to be close to a particular person, but not in a romantic way.

It is commonly used interchangeably or more commonly than plush.

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There's definitely more that I haven't listed here, but these are the main ones that you'd probably hear most often. Hope I was able to help. ₍ᐢ. ̫ .ᐢ₎

[aroacestuff]

as an aromantic person in this very amatonormative society, I tend to get very weird comments when I mention my aromanticism to someone who isn't, especially to those who had no knowledge of the existence of this orientation.

"saves you from the heartbreak"

"you're so lucky"

"that's so sad"

"I wish I were aro"

and so on and so forth, but the worst one I had ever received was a couple of days ago, from my closest friend to whom I came out to first when I had discovered I was aro...he said "you just use people, you treat them like accessories".

I had never felt more hurt and offended than I did in that moment. I don't use people. I don't treat them like accessories.

amatonormativity is so installed in people's minds that they cannot possibly imagine a healthy relationship where there isn't romantic love. just because I can't give that, I am seen as a heartless, cold monster. it hurts, and you know why? because my heart is the size of a mountain, I can love so, so much. it just isn't romantic and society needs to start accepting that romantic love/attraction isn't the superior one out of all of them.

[aroacestuff]

why is it that when allo people find out that you're aro, their first thought is "that's terrible" and proceed to tell you about everything you're "missing out on" and how "sad" it is to not feel romantic love (or any at all in case of loveless aros).

just...why? why is amatonormativity real? I hate it with such a passion, that if it were a car, I'd light it on fire before pushing it off a cliff, to make sure it gets destroyed and doesn't come back all "fixed", just how they're trying to "fix" us.

[aroacestuff]

"amatonormativity isn't a thing lol"

yes. it is. here's some examples even you are familiar with.

when your parents or other older relatives ask you why you don't have a significant other or are married yet.

when you're holding hands with another person and everyone suddenly assumes that you are a couple.

when people don't respect your decision to stay single because "everyone needs a romantic partner or they'll die alone."

when people assume you're flirting when you're just being kind.

when your friends greatly reduce their time spent with you just because they have a partner now.

when people tell you they doubt you're "just friends" with another person just because you display what they think are signs of romance (that may be more of an aro experience but i'm sure it can happen with anyone).

i know these scenarios are more complex and nuanced than what this post is mentioning but that doesn't mean amatonormativity doesn't contribute to them.

[aroacestuff]

Being aro/aegosexual and intensely into shipping fictional characters feels so strange. I know what I do and don't feel. And I don't feel any attraction to real people, to the point even live action fictional characters do nothing for me, and I do feel repulsed towards irl dating/sex. But I'm constantly afraid I'll be accused of lying, BECAUSE I'm so enthusiastic about and invested in my shipping, especially around other aspec people that are very iffy on shipping...

[aroacestuff]

it’s so hilarious to me that straight women think they are so irresistible to us gay women that we are just waiting to pounce on them as soon as we’re in the same space like nah we can smell your homophobia from miles away you fucking gremlins

[aroacestuff]

there’s a strange sentiment in the queer community that you have to get it right the first time, that you can’t constantly change your labels or otherwise you’re confusing people

and to the people who say that, i want to ask: has *any* queer person ever gotten it right on the first try?

can you point to me a reasonable amount of queer people who have never once labeled themselves straight, cisgender, allo, etc. even when they weren’t?

can you name enough queer people who have never not known that there was a word for their identity or experiences, or that said word even suited them, or that it was valid?

can you show me a time that gender and sexuality have never been nuanced or fluid for anybody?

can you prove to me that it’s a crime to change labels or to get it wrong on the first try or to have your identity change?

i’m gonna jump the gun and say, i don’t think you can.

[aroacestuff]

THIS

'Love is love.'

Yeah, that's true.

But that's all.

Love is nothing more.

Love is not what 'makes us human'.

Love is not 'essential'.

Love is just a thing that exists.

Nothing more.

It is not a universal experience.

It just is for some.

But not for all.

[aroacestuff]

I made an aroace bingo!!!

blank:

(the "valid" box is already marked BECAUSE U ARE)

Feel free to show how y'all filled it! I hope you like it!

Yes, you can post it on reddit, instagram etc, but if you do, please credit me, if that's not a problem :D

Edit: I just noticed I accidentally wrote "invalidate" instead of "invade" in the Denmark square. Oops 😬

[aroacestuff]

I met nicest old lady in my entire life

So basically she was really nice and stuff, super sweet person, I'm not gonna get into details, but the thing is she was telling me some funny stories and one of them was that once she had a homophobic dude in her house, and she invited a gay couple (she told them he was homophobic and made plan with them), and the guys were having fun and bonding and stuff and when they left she was like, "Oh btw they're married to eachother" and that dude was like WHAAAT? and like the point is I've never ever met an actual old person who wasn't homophobic and I was so happy to know that, this is HUGE for me. This literally means SO MUCH, I've never felt so good talking to an adult...

SHE'S A GIRLBOSS AND AN ALLY, I LOVE HER!!!

[aroacestuff]

Simple term that makes me happy :)

I usually find myself get overwhelmed by all those labels I could be, and as much as I love hoarding all those microlabels to describe and understand myself better, sometimes I get so tired of everything related to that. But there it is - aroace - so simple, yet so powerful. I always find comfort in this term. "Being both ace or ace-spec and aro or aro-spec"

Aroace: not only strictly aro and ace, but also any other kind of ARO-SPEC and ACE-SPEC.

Both. Combined. Together. Simple. Comforting.

[aroacestuff]

Growing up aromantic.

[aroacestuff]

Ok so I think I might be demiromantic of some sort but like, I don't really know anymore???

I went from allo to gray to fray to aro and now, because of that stupidly cute gal who happened to be my current best friend who I knew for like, five years but became friends with just like a year ago and I really like her and I want to hold her hand sometimes and idk I just kinda want to be with her in some way but I also don't? I don't really like "relationships", y'know? Like ugh idk how to properly explain it, I kinda HATE commitment cause while "dating" someone I feel trapped and tied to them like I can't really be fully myself around them and I feel obligated to do anything to please them... Does that make sense? I just want to be freely touchy and stuff in slightly romantic way but not in a relationship way or QPR way, just friends who are occasionally kissing, cuddling, go on cute dates, hold hands and call each others pet names, while not being committed in any way at all so like, if you eventually want to "quit" it's not even a big deal or anything, you just stop doing these things as if nothing changed and it's fine? Is that a thing? I kinda know some QPRs can be like this but being in one is still too much commitment to me, even if it's platonic not romantic. I'm confused. Is that a thing?

[aroacestuff]

My favorite thing about the asexual community is the shared experience we all seem to have where we all just thought sexual attraction was fake or exaggerated. We all went years thinking that the rest of the world was just joking, and then we’re all shocked when we find out that they’re actually serious. Love that for us.

[aroacestuff]

...questioning my whole identity all over again, day 540625363474478746099641

[aroacestuff]

THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL-

I- I'm not crying you are 😭

Trying 🍃 (This isn't me, just a story I thought of!! My parent isnt supportive LOL)

Earlier...

Extra 1— food

Extra 2— Handsome

Final extra and happy pride 🏳️‍⚧️

His parents outdid him...