aromarten

[aromarten]

You can’t be an ally to aro people until you decouple love from morality

[aromarten]

Another thing I really like about Koisenu Futari, is how it exemplifies the ways amatonormativity also impacts allo people.

When Sakuko’s sister Minori gets proof that her husband is cheating on her (after actively investigating to make sure).

She’s still hesitant to divorce him.

Not because she still loves him (that doesn’t come up even once).

Not because he is a great husband beyond the cheating (the screaming match about how she was the only one taking care of their daughter shows pretty clearly that he wasn’t pulling his weight).

Not even because it’s a lot harder to raise two kids on her own (tough it is mention in passing - did I mention she’s 9 months pregnant at that point? and then promptly goes into labor?).

Not even really what society is going to say about her (even tough it would be completely justified, especially in Japan).

But because she’s terrified of being alone.

And then again while she's in labor

In that way, she mirrors Sakuko’s own fear of loneliness.

And of course, she associates being single with being lonely. Because amatonormativity.

She verbalizes the relationship elevator: getting married, having a child, buying a house, another child. She calls it "a game of adulthood".

But while she comes to the conclusion that she failed at this "game of adulthood", she doesn't really get to the conclusion that it's bullshit.

Even with her sister's example right in front of her, she has trouble imagining happiness outside of marriage.

Most likely because she still sees Sakuko and Takahashi's relationship as abnormal, and therefore reserved to abnormal people. So she can't apply their example of being happy outside of marriage to herself yet. Not when she's tried to hard to be the perfect normal woman.

But no matter if Minori believes it or not, single doesn't have to mean lonely, which Sakuko proves immediately by promising to always stand by her sister's side.

And then Sakuko meets Takahashi’s ex Haruka, who explains that she moved to the countryside after their break-up, and then started up her (now very successful) farm.

Sakuko’s reaction is to say it was then a blessing in disguise

To which Haruka thanks her, saying that most people are just sad for her because she’s “old” (around 40) and still single, even tough she’s perfectly happy as is.

She’s a really good illustration that:

amatonormativity impacts everyone who strays out of it, it doesn't matter if you're aro or allo

you don’t need to be aro to be happy outside of amatonormativity’s expectation

And in that way, I feel like that makes her an optimistic answer to Minori’s concerns about loneliness.

(And then of course there is Kazu-kun, but there is so much to say about him, he'll get his own post.)

I really liked that the shows takes the time to talk about those experiences, because it makes amatonormativity much more real. It is a systemic issue, so of course it impacts everyone.

And I think we've all had discussions like this, where other people's own internalized amatonormativity also completely invalidated our experiences.

So it was great to see it explored so clearly here.

(also this has nothing and everything to do with it, but the fact that in the credit, Minori is called by her husband's name. I don't think it's used in the show itself but. You know. All of a woman identity depending on her husband. All that.)

[aromarten]

I noticed aroace colors look very... retro...

[aromarten]

I noticed aroace colors look very... retro...

[aromarten]

some people say there’s a red string that connects fated lovers

[aromarten]

look. i'm sorry. really sorry for not just letting this die. but it bugs me. so suffer i guess.

If I saw a canonically trans character and said "well I prefer to write them as cis" people would be pissed at me, for good reason.

If I saw a canonical trans woman/man character and wrote them as a demigirl/boy and said "while the show just says she/he's trans, not that she/he's a trans woman/man" people would be pissed at me, also for good reason.

If a character was directly implied to be trans, and the creator confirmed later that they were meant to be trans, and I went "well it wasn't said explicitly in the show so it's not canon," people would be pissed at me, for good reason.

If the majority of a fandom did those things, we could collectively agree that the fandom is really transphobic.

You can sub this out for any queer identity with mainstream representation, and probably non-queer identities too.

So why is it considered acceptable to do these things to aspec characters?

Why are ships contrary to aspec identities the only ships against a character's canon queer identity that get popular?

Why are aspec people the only ones that get consistent ship discourse over our real identities?

Why are aspec people the only ones asked to sit back and take it?

Why is it on aspec people to not ruin allo people's fun in fandom, but allo people are allowed to ruin ours?

(The answer to all of the above is: aspec identities are viewed by other queer people as functionally straight and are treated as such)

[aromarten]

@degengxrl of course! :]

heres the link to the aspec flag they're talking about

This is a different variation of the aspec flag! It's for anybody under the asexual or aromantic umbrella! I haven't seen this version of the flag before.

Heres the link for the rest of the flags!

[aromarten]

youre aro heart cards are so sweet 💚 would we be able to get some aroallo and non-SAM aro ones too for the homies?? ✨

Of course :]

Here is both aroallo (doesn't experience romantic attraction but does experience sexual attraction) and non-SAM aro (is simply and only aromantic). I actually learned about non-SAM aro from this; I found it very cool

If anybody wants, you can find the other ones here. Happy valentines day :]

[aromarten]

Decided to make more of these for valentines day

I thought it was cool :]

Anybody can use them if you want to. If I missed anything and you want it you can ask

aroallo and non-SAM aro

aspec

aspec pt. 2 +Aplatonic & Asensual

non-SAM ace

[aromarten]

Happy pride!!!

[aromarten]

A lil compilation of ace pride artwork I’ve made over the past year! 💜

[aromarten]

Izutsumi won my heart over with this simple trick: being an aroace icon <3

[aromarten]

i can never write a soulmates au cause i very quickly stop thinking about romance and start thinking about the sociological implications of a world where soulmates are a confirmed verifiable thing

[aromarten]

epic aro sculpture i did for class

the heart is made out of plastic bags wrapped with tape, so it's squishy ^_^ and the knife is qtips hot glued together. the knife is also removable!

[aromarten]

Just got done reporting and blocking a bunch of bots in the asexual tag 👍

If you're still seeing a lot of bots and aren't up for reporting/blocking all of them right now, or are just tired of having to see the images before you block them, try putting some of these terms into your content filters since they're all over the bot posts: aizen, aizen power supplements, supplements, happy smile pro, vigor tonic, glucofreeze Not your filtered tags, put them into the content filter!

As for tags to block, try: healthylifestyle, healthcare, health & fitness, health and wellness, weight loss, pronail complex You don't necessarily have to put in all of them, filtering even a couple should drastically cut down how many bot posts you see. Though unless you're using XKit on desktop with the option to fully hide filtered content turned on you'll unfortunately still have to see a lot of "this post contains filtered tags/content". If anyone knows more words/tags to block, or has more tips for handling these bots, please feel free to add on!

[aromarten]

Happy aplatonic visibility day! Here are some reminders!

Not everyone feels platonic attraction

Not everyone has or wants friends

Aplatonics can still be social (I'm extremely social), but also a lot of us just don't have the same socialization needs as alloplatonics. If your first question for aplatonics is "how do you fulfill the need for socialization without friends?" please consider why you think that's something that everyone needs

Conversations and interactions with strangers and acquaintances can be just as meaningful and fulfilling as those with friends

Friendship, like any relationship, should require explicit consent and a conversation. Don't start referring to people as friends without discussing it first

Friend and bestie are not casual terms to say to anyone; ask for consent before you use them

Platonic does not mean non-romantic. It specifically refers to relationships between friends. If you want to say something without romantic intent, say you mean it non-romantically

Aspec means more than just aro and/or ace. Atertiaries are here too. That doesn't just mean aplatonics, but also afamilials, asensuals, anaesthetics/nonaesthetics, etc

Not all aspecs value friendship above all. Not all aspecs want QPRs

Not all aplatonics are aromantic. Not all aplatonics are loveless. Not all aplatonics are asexual. Not all aplatonics are afamilial

Anyway, have a lovely day my fellow apples! Don't forget that you can't commit crimes today without being caught

[aromarten]

Aroace cat in your honor 🐱🏳️‍🌈