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Having aesthetic attraction to a character without a trace of any romantic or sexual feelings attached is so strange

It's like there's a guy (gn) on my screen. I like how he looks and the way he moves. I don't want to have sex with him, I don't imagine myself dating him or something of that sort. There's no physical reaction at all.

But there's this ephemeral urge to, I don't know, simultaneously gnaw on him like a bone, study him under a microscope, encase him in chrome and put in my living room, and watch him do the same gesture that ticked me on a loop for approximately three million times?

Does that make sense??

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Rather frequently I find myself asking "Will I maybe ever have kids?" And the vast majority of the time the answer is, "No, it's just not suited to me." But every so often I'll get the vague image of an idyllic family picnic in my head and be like "I guess possibly maybe."

Except whenever I ponder this I just completely overlook the Aromantic part of everything I have going on. Like Mr. Husband Guy is just a concept who will surely pop into existence like an unlockable NPC once I accept the "I guess have kids?" quest. He has the same level of detail as Sam Supernatural's blurry out-of-focus epilogue wife and is a tulpa of sorts who will materialize in order to smile in a polo shirt and perhaps say "atta boy champ!" to a son at a baseball game. As husbands are wont to do.

And then I go "well I'm 28 and tbh it's not even that weird to have kids in your mid-30s. I've got time." and then peacefully shut the book on the thought because 7 years is plenty enough time to learn husband homunculus magic.

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The funniest thing about being aroace is growing up in middle school and thinking to yourself “…you guys are too young to be dating. We’re kids right now.” And then as you get older and reach college you’re still like “…you guys are too young to get married, how do you even know you like them like that?”

Like no that’s just how allo people are.

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It's so fun how often I see people being agender, asexual/ace-spec AND aromantic/aro-spec. Like y'all simply said "fuck it. I ain't dealing with this" and became an AAA battery

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I see a lot of ‘cis’ women say they wish they were androgynous in the way men were or they wish they were pretty in the way men were. This is your sign to go try to do that. You may find you enjoy being an androgynous woman. You may find you no longer identify as a woman. You may find you don’t like androgyny. You will not know until you try. Cut your hair if you’ve always wanted to but have been afraid to. Shop in the men’s section if you’ve been too nervous to. Wear clothing with an androgynous  silhouette. Experiment with binding, take baby steps with compression bras if you want. Wear unisex scents. Live life. Try things you want to try. A lot of cis women do not understand the joys of mens pants and mens deodorant. I think everyone should try both of those things.

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i was explaining my sexuality to my coworkers abt how im both asexual and into kink culture, and after a minute my coworker said "Oh! It's like, you don't play the FNaF games, but you like the lore!" and i haven't recovered

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Aspec (Aromantic, Asexual, Agender, ETC) and Nonbinary people

(agendered aliens, asexual robots)

Reblogs appreciated for this one.

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i can get to my desk IF someone moves a chair out of the way is not accessibility

i can get in the building IF i’m having a really good day and can open the door myself is not accessibility

i can get in the building IF i go through loopholes to be allowed to use the accessible entrance is not accessibility

i can get to one desk BUT i don’t have a choice in where i sit and everyone else does is not accessibility

there is an accessible entrance BUT it is farther away and more inconveniently placed than any inaccessible entrance is not accessibility

accessibility should not have conditions. all of these are still good, compared to absolutely no access. but disabled people should not have to settle for “just barely good enough”

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youve heard of aros misreading aromatic as aromantic now get ready for aspecs vs aspects

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This is a great question, and one that I have asked on an agender subreddit. Which is not at all indicative of the entire community, of course, but it was interesting to see anyway.

For reference, I am aroace and agender, and anattractional-spec for most other types of attraction, too (I am demi almost entirely across the board except for romantic attraction that is 0 romantic attraction for me, and my asexuality is more complicated and rare but demi is one of the many labels that applies to my sexual attraction, and lack thereof). I also identified as a demigirl for a while (agender-spec demigirl) but have settled more on agender in general lately.

The answer for this for my own opinion is: Although I am aspec in other aspects as well, I do also consider me being agender as another aspec label, but I think that's a personal choice every individual agender person can make for themselves. It's interesting that when I asked this question on the subreddit, I found most people who are aspec in some way and also agender consider their agender-ness to be aspec and most people who are not aspec in any (other) way do not really see themselves as having a lot in common with the anattractional-spectra that is the majority (or entirety depending on view) of the broader aspec community. I also feel like maybe my aroaceness has some connection to my agenderness? Like obviously it's not the reason but idk it feels like it's all interconnected somehow. I saw several other double or triple (or more) As expressing the same thing on that subreddit. Also, a lot of the agender people who were not anattractional said they connect more with the nonbinary and trans community/communities, although not all of them considered themselves nonbinary or trans either.

I have seen an agender person talk about non-agender people as allogender people and comparing it to allosexual/alloromantic/etc. and using similar language as the (other) aspec communities do although it's likely from this that this person was aspec in some other way too, or at least clearly spent some time in aspec communities, and someone else used a "gender-ambivalent to gender-militant" scale on how much an agender person cares about gender (or anyone really) similar to the repulsed to favorable and negative to positive scales used in the other aspec communities.

If you want to read the post, it's here: https://www.reddit.com/r/agender/comments/10o0cqv/are_agender_people_aspec/

There are some people that, whether or not agender is aspec, still feel some level of solidarity in 1. Feeling a little to none of something that society expects people to feel and care about a lot and 2. We all fall under the "A" in the LGBTQIA+ acronym (which most say does not include ally).

ok this is a genuine question but - Agender ppl. Do you include yourself in the aspec community? I'm asking because i realize some ppl add agender under the aspec umbrella but i often don't see agender people tagging posts as aspec - so I'm curious on what y'all actually think :0

for the most part I've usually seen aspec in reference to solely aromantic, asexual, aplatonic, afamilial, and other a-attractions. I don't think I've ever seen it in reference to agender ppl but that doesn't mean agender ppl dont use it.

So....do you guys consider yourselves Aspec? What's your personal definition of aspec? Please only answer if you're agender as i feel like they are the ones who can probably best decide if they are under the term or not.

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Soulmates, but with the British meaning of “mate.” Two homies bound by a platonic string of fate.

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Small little things I would love to see more of in Queer Media (In no specific order)

The Bi to Ace pipeline™

The Pan to Aromantic pipeline™

More characters on the a/romantic spectrum

Characters on the aplatonic spectrum

More alterious attractions

Characters changing their name multiple times (from their dead name) and their group of trusted people keeping up

Alternately the same thing but the character changing and trying out different pronoun

(also alternately) the trusted group of people accidentally using an old name or pronouns but correcting themselves with lighting speed because it happens

Polyamory (need I say more)

Different type of polyamorous couples (hinges, metamours etc)

Also different identities within the polycule (aspec identities, aro-spec identities, qpr's, agender, demi girl/boy, genderqueer etc)

Characters who don't care for terms or tables!

Characters who could care less for what pronouns people use for them

Characters who don't think the concept of "coming out" is for them (they are who they are and people will take it as that)

QUEER PLATONIC RELATIONSHIPS!!

More QPR's and Poly relationships shown raising kids!

More aro/ace/apl characters shown being involved in the kink community

More Sex-positive/indifferent/repulsed and Romantic-positive/indifferent/repulsed characters!

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watching heartstopper s2 and Isaac looking up at all the couples and then just looking back down at his book is SO REAL LMFAOOO

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Isaac bring aromantic but also clearly being shown to be a hopeless romantic by reading all these books about romances and fully supporting his friends in their romantic endeavors really warmed my cold dead fucking heart 🥹

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Canon Aces 244/?: Spencer Lynn Weiss in This Doesn't Mean Anything (2022) by Sarah Whalen 4/ 4