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[athousandlittlew0rds]

I just felt this weird sense of encouragement. I thought I’d share it with you all.

My best friend of multiple years and I had a falling out over the summer. We’re not friends anymore.

It hurts me because even though I’ve moved on with life and made wonderful new friends, I miss what we once were. I miss riding roller coasters with her. I miss going out on the beach, and getting Starbucks, and laughing until we couldn’t breathe. I miss making fun of movies and eating sandwiches together. I miss sitting on the back porch talking about how no one would get us the way we got each other.

After all this time, I’ve accepted that we’re not going to be friends again. It’s just not going to happen here on earth -- which is the exact thing that gave me hope.

I don’t know if I’ll be friends with her again in 10, or 20, or 50, or 100 years. But I WILL be friends with her again -- in heaven, someday. I’m a Christian, and I full heartedly believe that she was too and that someday in perfection we’ll be friends again.

100 years may seem like a long time, but that’s ridiculously short in light of eternity. Someday we’ll get to smile at each other, and walk out on a beach, and laugh until we can’t breathe again. It’s not just some wild fantasy, it will actually happen. That kills me a little inside... it makes me so happy, I can’t explain it.

Because even if I don’t understand all these awful things happening to me now, there is a reason for them, and someday everything will fall into place. Even if I don’t know why she treated me so poorly toward the end of our friendship on earth, I know none of what we did to each other will matter at the end of it all. ,<3

[athousandlittlew0rds]

*rant*

Being angry and being hurt are two very different things. 1) it's okay to be angry sometimes. There's a place for that. 2) being hurt is a natural thing. It happens, it's supposed to happen, and you didn't do something wrong if it does happen. 3) She said I was "angry" at her because she didn't care enough to be there for me. No, I was hurt. I didn't understand, and you offered no explanation. It's not my fault that I didn't know your mental health was the reason you couldn't be there for me. I can't read your mind, you should have told me. 4) mental health IS NOT an excuse for being a poor friend. Before you all freak out, hear me out -- I suffer from a lot of junk. I HAVE mental health issues. I cannot blame my depression and anxiety for me not being there for a friend who needs it. Sure, it makes it harder to be there for a friend when I'm depressed. But IT IS NOT AN EXCUSE. DEPRESSION IS NOT AN INSTANT LIFE COP OUT. I know it sounds harsh, but I'm tired of hearing her accredit her every action to her mental health. I can't talk to you about how that boy broke your heart because I'm anxious. Your parents are separating? I'm too depressed, I can't deal with that. You're struggling with classes and want to relax for a little while? I don't want to because I'm not feeling myself today. YOU NEED TO MAKE TIME FOR YOU AND YOUR MENTAL HEALTH, IT IS IMPORTANT. BUT LOVING OTHER PEOPLE IS ALSO IMPORTANT. BEING THERE FOR OTHER PEOPLE IS IMPORTANT. WHAT IS EVERYONE WAS TOO DEPRESSED TO BE THERE FOR YOU? 5) I don't know how else to explain it. I'm sorry, I don't want this to come across wrong. Do what's best for you, but 1) don't blame everything on your mental health 2) remember you're not the only one struggling with things 3) don't cut off your lifelong friends just because you randomly feel you're too anxious to try to work things out with them. That's an excuse. If you have bad friends, get rid of them. But if you have kind, loving, always-there-for-you type of friends, you should not be shoving them out because your mental health is more important. If they're good friends, THEY WILL HELP YOU THROUGH YOUR MENTAL HEALTH STRUGGLES. Stop feelings like you need to pick one or another. Isolating yourself from people ain't gonna help. I'm sorry that it's life. *end of rant*

[athousandlittlew0rds]

*Don't tell me what to do Don't tell me what to say When I go out with you Don't put me on display* It's scary how close those lyrics describe the unhealthy friendship I was in.

[athousandlittlew0rds]

“I swear your pride will be the death of us all”

I wish you could stop trying to prove to yourself that you’re doing what’s right. It’s slowly killing you, and I don’t want to see you die.

[athousandlittlew0rds]

Your depression didn’t tell me you no longer wanted me in your life, you did.

Your anxiety didn’t ignore me when I needed you the most, you did.

Your OCD didn’t end your friendship, you did.

You are not your mental illness. Your mental illness may be in you, but it doesn’t have to be a part of you. You CAN overcome it. Overcoming it isn’t something you can just choose to complete one day, it’s a process. I’m not entirely sure it’s even possible to overcome mental illness in a definitive sort of way, because even though it gets better, there are times it gets worse.

I think what’s important about getting through it is realizing you might always have it, but it doesn’t have to be you. You are not defined by your anxiety, your OCD, your depression, your ADHD, your panic attacks. You might have anxiety, but IT IS NOT YOU. I can’t emphasize that enough.

So when you said you no longer needed me in your life because of your OCD? That was you. It wasn’t your OCD. Your OCD may have influenced your decisions, but you didn’t have to give into. The truth is, we’re not always going to win, but that’s okay. Just because you made one mistake doesn’t mean the next thing you do won’t be part of overcoming it. The past is the past. Learn to accept what is and work towards a brighter future.

[athousandlittlew0rds]

Here I am, ready to be super unpopular *bring on the haters* But in all seriousness... I don't like twenty one pilots cover of Cancer *gasp*! I love Josh and Tyler a whole bunch, I love their music, I've been to their concerts. I think they're really cool! But regarding their cover, I felt like it cheapened the raw emotional depth Gerard had originally brought to the song. It's not that their cover isn't good, it's very them and I like them. If I had never heard the original I'd probably like Josh and Tyler's version a whole lot more. But since I know the original song to be one of regret, desperation, and pain that I connected with so long ago, I just don't feel like twenty one pilots version does it for me. Maybe it's since I have such an emotional connection to the original version, really, I don't know. I'm just not super into the twenty one pilots version.

[athousandlittlew0rds]

*THIS IS NOT MEANT TO BE OFFENSIVE IN ANY WAY, I THINK YOU’RE AN AWESOME PERSON NO MATTER WHAT*

I’m tired of all the fan theories about book/movie/tv show characters being gay and in love with each other. It’s not that there aren’t some great gay characters out there, it’s just that I wish girls could be friends with girls, boys could be friends with boys, and boys could be friends with girls without some romance between them. It doesn’t matter what sexual orientation our favorite characters are. I just wish that friends could be friends. I like the idea that you can love someone without being in love with them.

[athousandlittlew0rds]

Dude, Hamilton is life. ���� I love everyone in it, really, and it's super deep. When poor little Hammy dies, I just sit there on the verge of tears and feel like the world ends, the way his voice cracks over "Eliza." I'm also an Angelica nut, she's so complex but real and loving of Eliza, their relationship is so great. Her whole fling with Hamilton is also written so well, I relate to her an incredible amount. But Hercules Mulligan, he's such as badass, King George is a total riot, and Lafayette ❤️ EVERYONE, REALLY, I LOVE THEM.

Someone talk to me about lams and jeffmads and mullette and Hamilton in general

[athousandlittlew0rds]

Here’s the truth: My life freaking sucks.

Every day I spend just wishing it to be the next. I’m hated more than loved. I work hard and receive little. I hate almost everything about myself.

But here’s also the truth: It will get better.

There’s a rainbow behind every cloud. There’s a butterfly in every garden of thorns. Just because it’s awful now doesn’t mean I won’t be thankful for it later. Someday I’ll be able to look back on this and realize that my crappy circumstances changed me for the better. Someday I’ll realize that God never left me.

[athousandlittlew0rds]

Whoever made this is the best human ever.

[athousandlittlew0rds]

Do you ever think about all the little memories people have of you that you never know about?

[athousandlittlew0rds]

when your professor gives you homework on the first day of class

[athousandlittlew0rds]

Congratulations for making it to 2016 even if sometimes you didn't think you could

[athousandlittlew0rds]

Group hug for everyone working in retail/customer service during the next 2/3 days. Here’s hoping your shifts are quick and as drama-free as possible.

[athousandlittlew0rds]

[athousandlittlew0rds]

The people I love will never know.

[athousandlittlew0rds]

i think it’s important to realize you can miss something,  but not want it back.

(via 13nas)