caesarandthecity

[caesarandthecity]

Adrift in You

I drown in the depth of your emerald eyes, Your pale skin, where my longing lies. A heart like ice, cold and cruel, Yet I return, a desperate fool.

You come and go, a passing tide, A love that runs, a love that hides. I beg the wind to carry you near, Yet silence answers, sharp and clear.

We build our love on words untrue, A fragile bridge we both walk through. Truth and lies, fire and rain, Love and hate, pleasure and pain.

If you love me, why not stay? Why turn your back, then look my way? I dream of you and no one more, Yet wake alone on empty shores.

Madly searching, lost at sea, Chasing ghosts that run from me. Maybe one day, paths will collide, Or you'll return, but not as mine.

[caesarandthecity]

Fierce Executioners

Fierce executioners, never on time, Lost in the stars, too high to climb. I crave myself yet envy you, For holding me close, then letting me through.

A life I've lived in vain pursuit, A heart once bold, now cold and mute. Danger whispered, pulled me near, But left me drowning in my fear.

Gratitude a ghost, never to stay, Chased by regret that won’t fade away. Fate held the dice, yet played no game, Leaving me trapped in endless blame.

[caesarandthecity]

The Uselessness of Decoration

I dislike decoration. I find it useless and without purpose.

Decoration exists solely to decorate.

I prefer the beauty of the raw, The naked, the unfiltered, the pure.

Simple. Direct.

[caesarandthecity]

Life as a Journey to God

Life is a journey back to God— A path of endless rediscovery, A return to the divine.

[caesarandthecity]

The Art of Acting

To act is to express the inexpressible.

[caesarandthecity]

The Limits of Our Existence

We reduce our existence So that we may understand it As mere human beings.

[caesarandthecity]

The Drug is the Answer

The drug is the answer— But what is the question that consumes us so deeply That we need it at all?

[caesarandthecity]

The Death of Dreams

They give up on their dreams, Becoming servants to the egos of others Only to feed their own.

[caesarandthecity]

Follow Your Own Advice

Follow your own advice.

Stop looking for validation.

Study. Read. Listen. Observe. Act.

Your reality is the consequence of your own actions.

And if the results don’t match your expectations? If things don’t turn out the way you wanted?

At least you were true to yourself.

At least you lived by your own choices, not someone else’s.

And sometimes—many times—what we want is not what we need.

We must learn to understand that.

[caesarandthecity]

Who Told You?

Who told you that you have to be part of this Matrix?

Who told you that you have to go to school for five hours a day?

Who told you that you need to go to college, find your soulmate, get married, and have kids?

Who told you that you need to work 50, 60, 70 hours a week?

Who told you?

Who told you that you have to pretend to be happy?

When did social media start dictating what you should wear? What you should be?

When did society become so oppressive?

Leaving the Matrix is a gift.

A blessing.

A new way of seeing an infinite universe.

It is also the act of becoming selfless.

[caesarandthecity]

The Fear of Healing

The fear that the healing process will never end, that I’ll be stuck in the same place forever.

But healing isn’t linear.

And I can choose to make this process something beautiful.

[caesarandthecity]

The Root of My Anxiety

My anxiety stems from trauma.

A fear so deep that I try to control the future, just so I won’t relive the past

[caesarandthecity]

Why Do I Care So Much About What Others Think?

What bothers me in others is often what I secretly despise about myself.

[caesarandthecity]

The Poverty of the Soul

True poverty has nothing to do with money.

A person is truly poor when their spirit is empty.

A poor person is someone who needs to constantly prove their worth through material possessions rather than simply existing in their own truth.

In their minds, being rich is about having, not being.

It’s about buying, collecting, showing off.

To them, wealth is measured in price tags, not in experiences, wisdom, or freedom.

They would rather pretend to be than truly become.

[caesarandthecity]

Enough

This morning, I woke up reflecting. It wasn’t a choice—it was something my subconscious pulled me into.

I kept asking myself: ‘Why am I always searching for someone?’ ‘Why do I get so attached to people?’

And then, I found my answer.

I was looking for someone because, deep down, I believed I wasn’t enough. That something was always missing. That I wasn’t even enough for myself.

Then, suddenly, I saw it—I am enough.

I don’t need anyone else to make me happy.

I’m already happy with myself. I am enough.

It’s like I finally accepted that. Searching for someone else would only bring frustration.

Yes, I’ve experienced rejection before, and that’s okay. But now, I’m so focused on myself—inside and out—that I no longer feel like I need someone to complete me.

I don’t need someone to fall in love with—I am already in love with myself.

I don’t need someone to admire me—I admire myself.

I don’t need someone to validate me—I validate myself.

Yes, I want passion. I want desire. I want connection.

But beyond that, I am learning to be enough for myself. And that is the most freeing feeling in the world.

[caesarandthecity]

A Shift in Perspective

It’s fascinating how self-awareness changes everything.

The more conscious you become, the more you start seeing your life—and the world around you—through an entirely new lens. Suddenly, patterns emerge where before there was only chaos.

What once seemed normal now feels unbearable. What once felt overwhelming now feels like a puzzle you can solve.

Self-awareness is both a gift and a burden. But I’d rather carry this weight than live blind.

[caesarandthecity]

Learning to Let Go

I keep asking myself—why do these things get to me?

Sometimes, life outside feels just as chaotic as the world I left behind. But when I was in jail, none of this happened. There, I learned to embrace the journey because, strangely enough, I felt safe. There was structure. I knew what each day would bring.

Now, out here, I feel overwhelmed again. Some choices didn’t go as expected, but they went exactly as they needed to.

I’m frustrated because I spent money on things I shouldn’t have. I’m broke. I’m not making money right now. But you know what? I spent some money on myself. And I deserved it.

César, everything will be okay. Take a deep breath. Let it go.

Trust the process. That’s it.