candidwithcandace

[candidwithcandace]

Today’s flow was so hard. I tried Intermediate 1, Aerobic for 45 mins on Down Dog. I think I’m going to stay here until it becomes natural and confortable for me. It was a challenge and that’s good. I was on Beginner for a while and while that’s fun, it wasn’t helping me grow.

[candidwithcandace]

Today’s flow focusing on flexibility. I am really starting to enjoy yoga and the benefits of it.

[candidwithcandace]

My #yogaflow this morning. I’ll post everyday for you guys. 😊

[candidwithcandace]

My gosh. Facebook is such a shitty, cliche sort of place right now.

Everyone is posting the same damn videos and links and playing all of these stupid games. Im tempted to deactivate until the world starts up again. I’m trying to figure out why I’m so irritated by it all. I just find it to be annoying. I find it to be... sad. We have all this “free time” we’ve never had before and this is what we do?

The same shit? It just feels dead to me. I don’t know...

When I try to engage with people on Facebook I met with passive aggressive responses. I make a status where I’m clearly joking and someone takes it seriously and posts a smart ass response. Annoying.

I’m like, damn. Free time is a dangerous thing. I’m just going to mind my business and stfu.

Honestly, I’ve been feeling sort of down this week. It’s been tough realizing I am truly alone still. Especially while this stay-in-home order is happening. It pains me to really even write about it; being alone. I guess I’m facing the inevitable truth that my life has been pretty unremarkable. Lonely. Unfulfilling. Empty. No deep, satisfying love in my life yet. Yet.

[candidwithcandace]

what in the world am I doing and why am I here?

This was me for the past maybe 3 weeks. I know we all have these intense feelings of worthlessness and anxiety about the future but wow, these past couple of weeks have been rough on me. Rough. 

I have just been a mess. I was in a fog and I’m just now coming out of it. But while I was in it, it was bad. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t really even taste the food I was eating. I’m not stressed. I’m actuallly not doing anything. Besides tripping the fuck out. 

I wanted to ponder something with the 0 people who follow this blog, but more importantly, the people who will most likely skim this. 

Have you ever realized how limited your view is of the world? Other people? Yourself? 

And have you ever been slapped back into reality by someone you always saw as a good person?

Oh, that doesn’t make any sense. What I mean is, I always happen to find myself hurt because I, for some reason, give people the benefit of the doubt. I try to see the good. I want to see the good in people instead of listening to my gut. My gut is wise and sound and I should listen to it.. (her?) more often but I don’t. I choose to keep getting my ass kicked over, and over AND OVER again. 

Perhaps this time, I’ll learn. 

This month is a fresh new month. The depressive, dark fog has lifted and I have new goals. Of course. 

I annoy myself with these new goals but I gotta keep myself going somehow. 

[candidwithcandace]

Leave Black People and Their Hair Alone! -- Candid with Candace - Ep. 7

“How do you wash your hair?” “Is that a weave?” “Why is it just sticking up?” “Can your hair grow?” “How do you get it so curly?” “Can you get your hair wet?” “Is that real??” “Can I touch it??” These are just some of the many questions black people face while minding their business and living their lives. Episode 7 of Candid with Candace tackles this touchy subject of natural hair  and how these “innocent” questions are harmful and honestly, really annoying. In this episode, I get candid about how the curiosity with black hair from non-black people often leads to disrespect and discomfort! 

[candidwithcandace]

I get a lot of comments for having a #bigbutt and I'll tell you guys, after living my entire life hearing mainly negative and/or derogatory about my body, I'm a little more than over it. Episode of 5 of Candid with Candace is all me sharing some PAINFULLY EMBARASSING stories I've lived and survived (all having to do with my "big butt" and am ready to share with you all. #bodyimage and #bodyacceptance is a hot topic nowadays and I think everyone could learn from this episode. Please don't accost, comment on, and pick apart anybody's body.

[candidwithcandace]

great read for understanding the plight of the black woman and her body. 

[candidwithcandace]

Reading up for like-material for Episode 5 of Candid with Candace.

[candidwithcandace]

This is a real life issue for me. Always has been, always will be. I hope by being more vocal about it, people will realize that “bigbutted” people are not objects or a spectacle. Episode 5 coming soon!

[candidwithcandace]

This is relatable! It’s def been a lifelong issue because of the emotional maltreatment and neglect I experienced as a child.

[candidwithcandace]

You’ll always end up hurt if you think people care for you like the way you care for them. Nobody has a heart like you do. The best way to avoid that pain is to not expect anything from anyone. Fall in love with actions, not words. Don’t fall in love with ideas instead of reality, it will be the death of you. Don’t be too nice and apologize when you did nothing wrong, taking the blame will get to you. And most importantly, never make unworthy people a priority in your life. You deserve someone who actually gives a damn about you because you’ve spent your whole life making other people happy when all they did was fucking leave and nothing hurts more than being disappointed by the person you thought would never hurt you. It’s funny how we let one single person disappoint us 1000 times. It’s like we all have this perfect picture in our minds of how things are supposed to be and that’s why we end up being hurt. We fail to be realistic.

I have to stop getting my hopes up for things that will never happen. (via ashleymacleanblog)

[candidwithcandace]

hey all! here’s episode 4 of Candid with Candace. This 4th episode recaps the 3 sessions I had with my (ex) therapist. What a mess! The older I get, the more I start to realize that it is OK to walk away from anything that makes me feel uncomfortable, even people/things that are supposed to “help” us. 

If it’s not helping you, RUN! 

In the meantime, watch this episode. 

[candidwithcandace]

I was literally just saying the same things about guys that approach me... like to date me. Why do you look like you just rolled around in a clothing bin from Goodwill?? ( and no hate to Goodwill, I just wanna know) 

BETWEEN TWO FERNS: THE MOVIE 2019 | dir. Scott Aukerman

[candidwithcandace]

As I edit Episode 4 of Candid with Candace, I’ve been doing research on my childhood. (episode 4 has to do with therapy). I found this article to be very closely aligned with my upbringing. 

Thought I’d share. 

[candidwithcandace]

Half the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. They don't mean to do harm, but the harm (that they cause) does not interest them. Or they do not see it, or they justify it because they are absorbed in the endless struggle to think well of themselves

T.S. Eliot