chaotic-crisis

[chaotic-crisis]

How have you struggled with an ed half your life if you’ve only ever lost and gained the same 15 pounds according to your stats.. talking about how nobody sees the signs because you’re fat like what signs are you talking about

Tired of fatties infiltrating ed spaces when what they really have on their record is unsuccessful diets

I dunno if this is some fucked up, unrequested m3ansp0 or if this is unprompted hatred for f4t people, but either way it's not welcome here.

I'm gonna treat you the way I treat the kids at my job

Let's stay quiet yeah? No one asked for your thoughts, friend. I know it's frustrating seeing other people have what you have, or want what you want, yeah I know it's hard. But let's stay quiet, okay? It's not our job to talk down to other people or tell them what to do. Maybe next time let's say "I need space" or "I don't like them" and hit the block button, okay? No, everybody's body is different, friend, just because something worked good for you doesn't mean it will work for them. Remember how there are multiple symptoms for ED's? Remember how there are multiple types of these disorders? Remember how I'm disabled and cannot exercise much due to that, which is probably causing my w3ight to stay the same? Mhm, that's right, sometimes someone else might have different symptoms than you, or might start higher, or might have a harder time, but that's okay. No, friend, calling strangers f4tties on the internet will not make you feel better about yourself, no it just makes them feel bad. I know sometimes that's okay on this side of Tumblr, but this wasn't asked for. Thata right, friend. Next time let's just block someone we don't like or want to see on our page.

Anyways, just cause my sw and cw are similar or the same, doesn't mean I'm infiltrating the space. I'm still disordered and struggling. I just have different manifestations of my symptoms. I'm physically disabled and struggle heavily with b1ng1ng due to stress and autism sensory seeking.

[chaotic-crisis]

I'm probably going to be a bit inactive on here for a while. My 3d is still strong but I finally got a job and want to focus more on that for now. If anyone has tips for dealing with a high energy job and ⭐️ving let me know please <3

[chaotic-crisis]

Omg this is so silly, okay okay uhm

C - Confessions of a Rotten Girl - SAWTOWNE

H - Hatchet Town - Starkid NPMD

A - Are you Listening? - Lydia The Bard

O - Oh Ana - Mother Mother

S - Shit - Bo Burnham

Join in! @pretty-r0t @sea-foam-boy @tinks-tower @fuzzywerewolfhideout @bulibets + anyone else who wants to

MOOT / TAG GAME !

mission— spell your real name / name you use on tumblr with songs you like >< ready, set, go !

m — my love, mine all mine (mitski)

i — i love you, i’m sorry (gracie abrams)

c — coraline (lyn lapid)

k — killshot (magdalena bay)

i — i know you (faye webster)

e — either way (ive)

tagging— @puma-riki @flwrstqr @liwinly @woniefication @lilificationn @stvrriki @okwonyo + anyone else who wants to join !

[chaotic-crisis]

I made some memes

I think I'm really funny idk

[chaotic-crisis]

Because I'm sick and extremely out of it I've just been mindlessly 3ating and I feel so disgusting cause of it. Like, I don't even think, my body just moves and my feverish mind doesn't recognize what I've done until I'm doing it. I hate being sick

[chaotic-crisis]

I'm like, 75% sure I'm sick. Which sucks cause I hate being sick. But if I am maybe it'll dampen my 4ppetite and that would be cool

[chaotic-crisis]

Yup just fluctuations now I'm up to 233 again. We'll see what it's at when I wake up

I hit 229lbs again! Idk if it was just a fluctuation but if it stays I'm gonna be so fucking happy

[chaotic-crisis]

I hit 229lbs again! Idk if it was just a fluctuation but if it stays I'm gonna be so fucking happy

[chaotic-crisis]

I 4te and my st0mach still hurts a bit, fuck me ig

I'm almost 32 hours into my 48 hour f4st but I'm having really bad st0mach/abdomen pains. My situationship said it might be because I'm hungry and I said if I kept feeling bad after I dr4nk some broth then I would 3at... and of course the pain didn't go away. So now I have to either lie and say I feel better or I have to 3at -_-

[chaotic-crisis]

I'm almost 32 hours into my 48 hour f4st but I'm having really bad st0mach/abdomen pains. My situationship said it might be because I'm hungry and I said if I kept feeling bad after I dr4nk some broth then I would 3at... and of course the pain didn't go away. So now I have to either lie and say I feel better or I have to 3at -_-

[chaotic-crisis]

Save me broth, save me soup, save me warm, save me-

(Sometimes when you f4st you just need to drink 7million gallons of broth, trust me)

[chaotic-crisis]

Got 41 hours into my f4st and then my BFF took me to a buff3t and I 4te waaaaaayyyy too much, so I'm doing another 42 hour f4st

(Worth it, we had so much fun)

[chaotic-crisis]

you're not quite an emergency, is the thing. you're just having a bad spell. so what if you can't ever really catch your breath. can't ever really feel at ease. a buzzing, terrible feeling.

but emergencies are loud, and passionate, and hit the floor. you are not a lion or a hurricane, you just live in a pretty okay apartment and your back hurts. you wake up and drag yourself out of bed and banish what if i was dead thoughts like cobwebs. you pick out your clothes and try to stay active. you apply for jobs on the internet.

the anxiety is a wave, and the depression is a spiral. the other stuff keeps things "colorful." you mitigate your symptoms and take your meds when you have them and you try to hang out with friends. you go home and your head is full of riverwater. no matter how much you sleep, you still stay tired. you journal and practice gratitude and build from the bottom upwards. and still, the haunting.

you're not a 911 call or a shriek. you're just staring up at the ceiling and feeling the house settle into your bones. you feel you are playacting as a wolf when you're only a sheep. not quite dry and not quite drowning.

over and over, you slog through the creek.

[chaotic-crisis]

I'm on hour 37 and I honestly don't feel that bad!

Starting a 42ish hour f4st wish me luck, I'm gonna try to sleep through most of it if I can

[chaotic-crisis]

Completely unrelated to my normal posts but I'm so frustrated that the job that fired me because they hired too many people and I was easily expendable is now desperately hiring again because people realized how shitty they treated their workers. I'm so pissed off, they ruined my life by firing me I hope no one applies.

[chaotic-crisis]

Starting a 42ish hour f4st wish me luck, I'm gonna try to sleep through most of it if I can

[chaotic-crisis]

I was doing so fucking well, why did I throw it all away? What good did that do me? All that did was make me feel awful and sick, why did I do that?

I'm not gonna 3at at all today and I won't 3at tomorrow until 10pm for my standard 2 hours. I need to ⭐️ve

Be as mean as you can in the comments, I need to hurt for the bullshit I pulled