cheapfakeblood - Tumblr blog

[cheapfakeblood]

love how "neutral" entities take everyone for fools and blatantly lie to all of us about being impartial😍😍😍 do they think we're blind, stupid, or both 🥰🥰🥰

with all due respect, which, at this point in time, is absolutely none—keep all eyes on rafah, and fuck israel

[cheapfakeblood]

(this cake will make you show up

i know you seen this glow up

as bbl drizzy

bbl drizzy)

just woke up, what did i miss?

kendrick lamar's back and drake's getting dissed?

got this fog in my head, this is making it worse

don't have time for a rhyme but i'll still try a verse

didn't listen to them until, like, last night

"i'm not a mess, but i do love a fight"

that's maddy perez, it's a euphoria quote

kendrick already mentioned it, i know

deadbeat father

with a secret daughter

people screaming, "get up!" but you aren't a boxer

k.dot said, "i ain't the one"

even j. cole had to turn 'round and run

called drizzy a p*do, now he's getting mad

by the way, adonis, just thought that i'd ask

what's it like having this OV-hoe for a dad?

(bbl drizzy

ooh bbl drizzy)

[cheapfakeblood]

FACE IN MAKEUP AND CHEAP FAKE BLOOD/WHATCHU THINK ABOUT WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT LOVE

dave bayley wants me dead personally

[cheapfakeblood]

you taste like cigarettes and hurricanes

don't wanna talk baby i just wanna dance

[cheapfakeblood]

i know that there are other ways out than through. but the real things aren't like that, and i'm scared, so i'm suffering for practice.

the only way out is through for nothing but the difficult things. i'm scared. i'm practicing.

[cheapfakeblood]

why do i like them. they have a massive red flag and that is blondness.

[cheapfakeblood]

omg ty for the tag <3 imy

favorite painter? probably vanessa stockard or salvator dalí; stockard for her use of strokes and silly cats, dalí for the surrealist subject matter

favorite poet/writer? oscar wilde. ive unsettled many people with my incessant adoration for oscar wilde. also richard siken to prove i'm with the times and not actually 80 yrs old

favorite singer? hozier; are you kidding me? i'm never going to recover from "it will come back" or "francesca". henry morris is chipping at my hozier devotion tho

favorite band? i love glass animals and arctic monkeys in equal measure. opposite ends of the same spectrum!!

favorite meal and drink? phớ and diet cherry coke w a lil bit of cherry ice cream as a treat

favorite outfit and aesthetic/style? i dress in a cursed mix of styles probably landing somewhere approximate to femme fatale???? i just like what i like lmao

favorite item? i can't pick just one, but to narrow it down it's probably the CD whey burned for me, my gold-tip fountain pen specifically, or the bracelet rose mailed me ages ago. it's faded but i have never been without it either in my pocket or on my wrist since i got it

favorite perfume? jo malone's pomegranate noir, tom ford's lost cherry, and maison margiela's jazz club (my holy trifecta fr🫡)

this was super fun!! passing the torch to @whey-isolate, @placid-paper, and anyone else who wants to join ^^

Thanks for the tag @gwenllian-in-the-abbey! Some of these were so hard, haha.

favourite painter? Can’t say I’m much of an art person but I’d say Artemisia Gentileschi

favourite poet/writer? Kennedy Ryan

favourite singer? Ruelle

favourite band? Hoenix

favourite meal and drink? Cheese omelette and hot chocolate. Bit basic maybe but I gotta keep it simple now with these allergies. Otherwise I would’ve said chicken iskender

favourite outfit aesthetic/style? I wear Normcore for comfort but love the look of Dark Academia

favourite item you own? My iPad; I’m on it more than my phone

favourite perfume? I don’t have one but I love the scent of lemon verbena.

No pressure tags: @pebblume, @emilykaldwen, @aifsaath, @richardsthirdnipple, @bohemian-nights, @snowprincesa1, @mercedesdecorazon

[cheapfakeblood]

i think there's something wrong w me because i feel a type of glowing emotion in my chest akin to religious fervor or intense patriotism when someone mentions how ao3 is the pinnacle of literature (no seriously bc so many not-for-profit works??? for FREE? updated over the course of years????? ao3 authors i salute you)

[cheapfakeblood]

smth smth the ties between love and violence

walks out of a bar covered in kisses and I say "you should see the other guy" and you look in the bar and he's dead in a pool of blood

[cheapfakeblood]

solid 8.5

You suddenly switch bodies with your icon. On a scale of 1 to 10, (10 being the highest value) how well are you coping with that change?

[cheapfakeblood]

me putting shampoo in my hands and rubbing them together to blow MASSIVE bubbles :D

”why were you in the shower so long?” Sorry I was experiencing childlike wonder and playing with shaving cream

[cheapfakeblood]

ik i said "its gna be alright even if it doesn't go as planned", but my roommate plans fell through (which means i need to repack boxes to account for the lack of space in the campus dorms, which also means i need to leave behind the vast majority of my books in my parent's house) and im losing my mind trying to write monologues for my capstone project, so, no, past me, it doesnt feel alright

[cheapfakeblood]

screaming my head off i wish i was named victoria

Girls named victoria when they see a student abasador job open at UVic

[cheapfakeblood]

poking around in a problematic fandom that kept me alive and kicking a while ago feels like the sort of grief typically seen in apocalypse movies when the mc walks through the ruins of their hometown

[cheapfakeblood]

(i genuinely think fan-writers are some of the best writers in the world, regardless of the conventional quality of what they write. the notion of being so devoted to a fandom, or story or other existing media form that they'd willingly spend hours writing about it, without pay, may i add, is just so wonderful to me. the best writers aren't the wordiest, the highest-paid, or the ones with the purplest prose. the best writers are those who truly love what they do, who write for no other motivation than to express their love for something.)

reblog if you’ve read fanfictions that are more professional, better written than some actual novels. I’m trying to see something

[cheapfakeblood]

Death of the author: Treating the author’s stated interpretation of their own work as merely one opinion among many, rather than the authoritative Word of God.

Disappearance of the author: Treating the context and circumstances of the work’s authorship as entirely irrelevant with respect to its interpretation, as though the work had popped into existence fully formed just moments ago.

Taxidermy of the author: Working backwards from a particular interpretation of the work to draw conclusions about what the context and circumstances of its authorship must have been.

Undeath of the author: Holding the author personally responsible for every possible reading of their work, even ones they could not reasonably have anticipated at the time of its authorship.

Frankenstein’s Monster of the author: Drawing conclusions about authorial intent based on elements that are present only in subsequent adaptations by other authors.

Weekend at Bernie’s of the author: Insisting that the author would personally endorse your interpretation of the work if they happened to be present.

[cheapfakeblood]

i have never been more upset that i don't have blood siblings

So my family has a Gay Pirate Plate.

Stay with me.

We do not know how the hell the Gay Pirate Plate was first acquired. This being a point of contention is actually pretty plot-relevant; the saga of the Gay Pirate Plate began with my grandmother and her sister, who, for some ungodly reason, both BADLY wanted the Gay Pirate Plate and believed it to be rightfully theirs.

I should back up, firstly, to establish: The Gay Pirate Plate is the cheapest, tackiest, ugliest plate in existence.

It is in no way a collector’s item. It is physically impossible for it to complement anyone’s decor, because the colors in it are garish. It’s just a ceramic plate with a gay pirate painted on it, and the painting is, this cannot be emphasized enough, extremely bad.

(How do we know the pirate is gay if he’s just posing on a plate? Listen. Fully 100% to stereotype, but he is. He is gay. There’s an energy. That pirate is a flaming homosexual. That pirate has sex with men and does it frequently. That pirate is fucking gay, all right, he just is.)

Anyway. The point is that this is an extremely cheap and ugly plate with a poorly-executed painting of pirate on it who is like a nine on the Kinsey scale.

My grandmother and her sister fought a blood feud over this plate for their entire lives. It would be on the wall in my grandma’s house, and then her sister would visit, and then it would be gone. She’d visit her sister and the plate would be on the wall and her sister would pretend it had always been there. She would steal it back, hang it up, and, when her sister visited, pretend it had always been there. This continued for DECADES.

When the sister died, the Gay Pirate Plate lived triumphantly in my grandmother’s house. And then my grandmother died. And my aunt, who had lived with her and been her carer throughout her life, rightfully inherited their house.

We visit my aunt after the funeral and stay with her for a week or two.

Me, my sister, and our dad. Her brother.

The three of us look at each other. We don’t say anything. We studiously avoid making eye contact with the Gay Pirate Plate mounted proud and ugly on the wall. We notice one another studiously avoiding looking at it. We notice one another noticing. We say nothing. We come to a silent consensus. We pack up to leave. We get in the van. Our aunt comes out to say goodbye. I loudly announce I need to use the restroom before we leave. She obviously stays outside to continue talking to my dad.

I take down the Gay Pirate Plate, stuff it under my oversized sweatshirt, go outside, and get in the van. She happily waves goodbye as we drive off.

Two days later my dad gets a phone call that opens with hysterical laughter and “You FUCKING ASSHOLE did you seriously STEAL THE PLATE–”

Anyway. The gay pirate plate lives in my dad’s house currently.

But he’s trying to get me and my sister out to visit him. And plate mounts are cheap.