chelseawords

[chelseawords]

Endless Summer pt.1

word count: no idea, i wrote this feverishly on my phone at 2am pls

♡ : a little Caleb write so i can fulfill my own lil fantasies

setting: summer vacation + grandma isnt home + caleb realizes youve grown up

perspective: caleb x afab reader

enjoy :)

edit: this was meant to be just a quick write of inspiration from the newest Caleb trailer but I will be now adding a part 2 which will be basically smut :}

Part 2 (m)

gif credit: kiiseru 

The night Summer breeze whistles through the trees outside the window, there’s a dim white light shinning from inside the kitchen where Caleb was grabbing a popsicle from the freezer. He hums a tune as he rips the wrapper open and puts it in his mouth.

“Caleb! Did you use up my facewash again?!” You yelled from the upstairs bathroom when you realize your facewash was nearing the bottom; again. This was your first week back for Summer vacation and you’re already regretting not bringing skincare back from the dorm. Gentle footsteps clicked down the halls and you see Caleb leaning against the bathroom door flashing a sly grin at you before taking his popsicle out his mouth. “So what if I did? You always have the best stuff anyway.” He laughs heartily when you groan and try to pinch his face but he’s able to duck from every launched attack.

This guy!!, you thought to yourself. You let out an annoying sigh before wrapping your freshly washed hair in a towel and closing the bathroom lights. The bathrobe clung onto your wet body uncomfortably as you walk back into your room to dry up and get dressed. Caleb lets out a laugh at your annoyed expression and taps the top of your head, “How about I make you a sundae and we can watch that drama you’ve been wanting to finish? Hmm?” He tilts his head and flashes a gentle smile, hoping to make it up to you. You pout and look away, not wanting to fall for his tricks everytime he does something annoying but those shiny lavender eyes were impossible to deny.

“Fine.” You mumbled under your breath before slapping his hand away, “I want strawberry flavor and a looooot of whipped cream!” Caleb raises a brow and laughs at your request, “Anything you want, princess.” He turns around ready to go downstairs, “I’ll wait for you in the living room.”

You watch as his shadow slowly disappear into the darkness, you can hear him taking things out from the fridge and preparing to make the sundae. “I’m making him buy me a new facewash tomorrow..” You mutter to yourself before changing out of the bathrobe.

Caleb tops the sundae off with a bunch of whipped cream and strawberry slices as a finishing before smiling to himself proudly. She’ll love this, he thought. “She must hate the food over at the university.” Caleb chuckles while thinking about it.

He hears footsteps coming down the stairs and he turns around with a smile, eyes widening when he sees what you’re wearing.

The air is penetrated by the smell of your soft peach lotion and you were wearing one of his old oversized tshirts that he couldn’t fit in anymore. Caleb’s ears flushed hotly when he realizes you weren’t wearing anything underneath. The ends of the white tshirt flapped slightly with the wind as you walked and he gulps at the way it grazed against your thighs. He looks away with a blush as you walked down the stairs, careful to not catch a glimpse of what’s underneath that loose shirt. You fanned yourself as you strolled into the kitchen, regretting not turning the A.C on. “Is my sundae ready?” You taunt him teasingly, “Y-yeah, here.” Caleb picks up and shoves the bowl into your hands before coughing and walking away to the living room.

What’s with him?, You raised your brows before grabbing a spoon, walking to the living room as well to get ready for your show. You plop down on the couch and cross your legs, watching as Caleb frantically navigate the TV. You laughed at the sight and leaned in close to him, your voice laced with tease, “What? Our big pilot doesn’t know how to use a remote anymore?” Caleb turns and glares at you playfully, his skin turning hot. “S-shut up. Eat your ice cream.” You hummed and leaned in closer to him, resting your back against his bare arms and trying to get more comfortable in your position. Caleb freezes and tries to not look at your way, knowing he won’t be able to control himself if he sees your naked thighs.

“I wonder if the male and female lead kissed yet, all they do is fight Wanderers together.” You complained about the show, looking up at Caleb trying to see what his response is. “What do you think?” You scooped up some ice cream and put it in your mouth, the sweet strawberry taste melts inside and shakes a cold feeling down your throat. “Hmmm, that’s so good..” You let out a satisfying sigh and scoops up a bite for Caleb, sitting yourself up before trying to feed it to him. “Wanna have some too?”

Caleb turns and stares at you and the melting ice cream, the TV was the only thing keeping the living room lit up and he can smell the strawberry flavor on your breath. He clears his throat and leans in to take the bite you were offering, face close to yours and staring into your eyes, you gulp a little bit.

“W-what?”

Before you can say anything else, Caleb drops the remote and you feel the cold ice cream bowl float away from your grasp and land on the glass coffee table. You let out a gasp when you’re suddenly pushed back onto the couch without warning, Caleb’s hot breath coming down onto your ears as he traps you down. You can feel his beating heart through his tank top and the touch of his searing skin. The room was completely silent, with just the cicadas chirping outside the patio.

“It’s not fair.” He whispered.

“H-huh? What’d you say?” You try to wiggle out of his grasp but he just leans down on you heavier, he inhales in your scent and lets out a long sigh. His deep voice trembled through your body as he breathed right next to your ear, that musky scent drifting into your nose and captivating you. You feel one of his hand snake around your waist and lifting your body up into his, while his other hand cups the nape of your sweaty neck. “Caleb, what’s wrong?” You whispered, trying to rub his back in comfort. “Did something happen in Skyhaven?” you asked him with concern.

She smells so good..why does she smell so good? Caleb was lost in his own thoughts and lets out a low growl before lifting his face and looks down at you. He can’t help but realize how much you’ve grown ever since you left for college. The way your wet hair clung onto your neck and how his tshirt was slowly drooping down your bare shoulder.

“Nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to do this.”

He leans down and gently plants a hot kiss on your neck. The sudden impact sends a jolt down your spine and you let out a low whimper.

“C-Caleb, what are you-“

He holds your nape and suddenly pulls you in for a deep kiss. Your eyes widen as your lips touched his, you can feel his hot skin steaming against your own as his hair sweeps over his hooded needy eyes. He pulls back for a split second, “Don’t say anything.” he breathes out before pulling you in for another kiss.

You let out a quiet moan as he kissed you deeply, pulling you in so close that it doesn’t give you a chance to protest. It’s as if he was in a desert without water and you were the only bottle left. You hear Caleb whimper into your mouth as you shift your legs up underneath him, which makes his body flinch a little. He pulls back and a wet trail entangles between both of your mouths. "When did you suddenly grow up? Hmm?" He whispers softly, your mind was going blank from his touch. Unable to answer coherently, you let out another pleasured gasp when he growls in the depths of your neck. You feel his hand slowly move from your waist and down the sides of your hip.

"Caleb, w-wait..Grandma is-"

"She's not home." Caleb inhales deeply before moving his attention back to your lips, hungrily nipping at your soft skin and letting his hand move down further.

-♡-

To Be Continued in Part 2...

disclaimer: Part 2 is definitely rated m HEAVY so please do not read if you're a minor!!! ;u; thank you!

-♡-

[chelseawords]

In Defense of Being Too Young For You

In Defense of Being Too Young For You

 Yes, there is something we need to talk about. There is something we have been blissfully ignoring as we fell into this exciting stage of getting to know each other. Something that you mentioned in the early stage of our meeting. Is it safe to assume you care about that thing a lot? Yes, it is our reality: I am too young for you. I am 7 years younger than you. You are 7 years older than me.

I have this energy and enthusiasm. I have ambition, I have this ability to turn myself into a fascinating little creature when I’m motivated. I have so much future ahead of me. I mean, I am only 20 years old. I can really accomplish all the things I want to do. I’ll change so much in the next 5 years. I’ll believe it may be physically, mentally and emotionally. I’ll grow into a person God has designed me to be. I have no doubt I’ll get to do all the wonderful things I want and don’t want to do. Period.

But you are settled. You know what you are going to do and where you will be. You may hate to pull a “When I was your age” because it either reminds you of your age which seemed like decades ago or the fact that our age difference is so big. Time doesn’t necessarily means change for you anymore – and for me, well you have seen mere days influence my entire world.

I know it’s nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, it is amazing. As you said, It’s beautiful. I am in the middle of an incredible time of my life.

You said I don’t have to act like I am above all that for you and that I don’t certainly need you.

You said. Not that I am not mature. I am. You have almost got convinced this could work out. You want to believe it could. I believe it could. But how can this work out if you have no faith in me because I’m too young for you?

You want to throw around excuses and say I am different. You want to say the chaotic forces of my life had made me older – wise beyond my years and ahead of my peers in terms of mental. And they have in many ways.

But emotionally? In reality? You said I am still my age. I can’t change that. I shouldn’t want to. I shouldn’t be trying to grow up so fast.

And I agree to you until that point. What you said next I need to argue. Because I genuinely want you to know I am not like any other normal young adult. Can you please hear me out before you decide to end whatever is this?

 Growing up, I receive a lot of loves from my family. They gave me everything I could ever need or want. However, growing up I also witnessed a lot of heartbreaks, arguments and betrayals that traumatized me in a way I cannot describe. Yes, I trust people easily, I bear no hatred in my heart, I always see the good in people even as I am being trampled on by them. One thing though. I am not as open to love as you thought I was. I used to have crushes here and there during school years. Just like you do when you were still young. But that’s it. I didn’t act on my feelings. Why? Because I very much know it was just a harmless crush that won’t lead to nowhere. I don’t race toward love and nicknames and commitments, because I know better than that. Those things rarely work out for young people and believe me I wasn’t interested in being in a relationship back then. I was so busy studying, getting flying color results and making my parents proud.

I know sometimes it scares you – the way my face is so expressive, it shows you everything I feel. You said I look at you like you are special or lovely or magic. And you know something I don’t maybe. Truth is: You don’t know anything.

Yes, you don’t. You don’t know I only shows my vulnerable side to people I can trust. I have no problem with women but with guys I hold in as a potential romantic partner, I don’t show them my expressive side. I’ll become as cold and ignorant as I always were. Ask my family. They know everything. They know I don’t easily open up to anyone especially guys because of my anxiety. But with you, I did. Voluntarily. I feel like it’s one of biggest sacrifice. Never in my 20 years of living I voluntarily open up to the opposite gender.

Why do I want you? I should’ve want someone who I can grow with, someone to share experiences, someone who is changing just as much as I am, someone exciting.

But I am not. I don’t want that.

I want you. I want nights in. I want you to share your adult responsibilities with me. I want to be there for you when your job took so much from you. I want to listen to your stories about what you did today. Why you are sad, why you are happy. I want to meet your friends, family and be introduced as your significant other despite you being lowkey ashamed of our age difference. I want to be engaged to you. I want us to be the ultimate fairy tale love story ever. And I want to not be a burden to you, if one day, God decides for us to separate, I want to let go of you as smoothly as I can. And I know I can. You can too. We are both adult, aren’t we?

You have fallen in love before and you have had your heart trampled on. This hasn’t happened to me yet and you don’t want to be the one to do it.

You know I am going to be an amazing person just like you are. You are sorry you can’t be there while it happens.

And despite all of this, I know I can’t keep you from making your decision. I know it is your final decision.

You are a nice guy.

Saying this, it reminds me of our beginning, one of the first thing you said to me is I am a nice girl.

Haha. At least I can say the same to you now :)

All in all, whatever happens after this. After all this lockdown thing. When you are exhausted, when you are bored, when you are in dilemma. You can come to me. I’ll be there for you. I’ll be your listening ear.

Even if we cannot be any more than friends, I am happy. I am happy to be a part of your life.

Sincerely,

Serena.

[chelseawords]

I'm seriously thinking of building a personal brand, you know

[chelseawords]

Passed

Jesus, thank you very much for giving me chance.

Chance that I did not get for the Secretary interview back in April, when I was still a trainee under JPSM and Sutera Harbour.

Now, looking back, I understand why you did that. You were telling me to focus only on one thing at a time. I, myself realized that I always do so many things at the same time. I know you were telling me to slow down and prioritize.

This time, I passed this test. When I have nothing to do, you let me pass this test to qualify for the interview. I would not have made it if it weren't for you. If I had not stumbled upon that one 'help' hours before the closing time of registration.

Thank you so much God. I am here because of you. I understand the lessons you were trying to teach me when I failed before. Thank you so much.

I'm not gonna say I'm gonna repay you because I know it quite well that your love is unconditional.

And for that, I will love myself profusely, this body, this mind and soul you gave me, I will love it unconditionally. I will not beat myself anymore for every single mistake I made. I know it made you sad, right?

To watch people being saddened for having this body and this very pure soul you die for being hated.

I am far from perfect. I can still feel the anxiety and depression swirling inside.

I will forever need your strengths and love throughout my life.

And in this upcoming interview you granted me access for..I need your greatest love and support, Jesus.

For I believe,

Everything that is done in love, is well done.

[chelseawords]

19 years old and not doing much. Society will say,

"you still have a long journey to go so don't lose hope"

But when you are actually living in said person's shoe then you will understand the depths of their feelings

[chelseawords]

Nah. It's more like 1 hour emotional BTS piano collection for exam because I'm sitting for an online examination right now ㅠㅠ

[chelseawords]

When I suddenly walk away

Please don't be offended. It is just that I can't bear being in the same place as the person whom have hurt me :)

[chelseawords]

I guess I'm not used to it yet. Despite having this feeling for years

[chelseawords]

“When you start to know someone, all their physical characteristics start to disappear. You begin to dwell in their energy, recognize the scent of their skin. You see only the essence of the person, not the shell. That’s why you can’t fall in love with beauty. You can lust after it, be infatuated by it, want to own it. You can love it with your eyes and your body but not your heart. And that’s why, when you really connect with a person’s inner self, any physical imperfections disappear, become irrelevant.”

— Lisa Unger, Beautiful Lies

[chelseawords]

I've been living with this fate for 11 years already, so do not try to tell me otherwise :)

[chelseawords]

source

[chelseawords]

Honestly? I don't even know anymore. I mean, I have no job and I'm torn between searching for job that doesn't seem to come or continue my formal education. Study or work? Well, it's not like I'm working right now. That's why I'm in dilemma in the first place. I just...I don't know. Can somebody just make the decision for me? There is that fear of being a loner if I continue studying again and then there is also that feeling of worthlessness if I stay like this and continue job-hunting.

[chelseawords]

“There was nothing to talk about anymore. The only thing to do was go.”

— Jack Kerouac // On The Road

[chelseawords]

Oh my god xD

Kakashi’s parental advice 

[chelseawords]

I think I pretty much can past as a mute person since I don't talk much or rarely at all. My usual response was always so short like "oh", "k", "wow", "hmm" .. it got me thinking that I won't have a problem living as a mute person.

[chelseawords]

Lol. I spent 110 on this and I'm not regretting it every single bit.

[chelseawords]

이노래 갑자기 좋아해요 ♥️