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Okay genuine question, why do people take it as some kind of personal affront when other people do not speak their language? Like does it complicate communication? Sure. But where is your admiration for the marvel and diversity of human language, where is your spark of curiosity for learning new words or means of sharing information, where is your delight in problem solving, where is your earnest desire to connect with another human being, where is your joy in bridging a divide? It is such a special moment when you overcome the obstacle of a language barrier and you both smile when you realize you've understood one another. I can't imagine what a small, dull, ugly way to live it must be hear another language and feel nothing but acrimony. Do better, you lame assholes.

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Summoning magic: if I shout the incantation, "time to go to jail, fucker," this foul beast instantly materializes in the bathroom (where he gets locked up at feeding time because he's a brawler).

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Me sitting down to write: "Ah, this original character is one of my favorites (and he should interpret that as a threat)."

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I genuinely do not understand these motherfuckers in the USA who foam at the mouth with rage when immigrants show pride in their heritage with flags/apparel/festivities/etc. Shut all the way up you insufferable pissbabies, cultural diversity is beautiful, your neighbors are not your enemies, immigrants are not the reason your life sucks, and a flag from another country is not an attack on America. Grow up and go get outraged about shit that actually matters, there's plenty.

Like some local folks got mad about this mural in my city that went up last year, are you really out here being pissed at BEAUTIFUL ARTWORK by a talented young artist in our community? Embarrassing. Joyless knuckle-dragger behavior, you deserve your misery.

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Okay but imagine if lightning wasn't a natural phenomenon and was presented to you in a SciFi novel? "So basically sometimes massive arcs of electricity go fucking apeshit in the sky and there are just these brilliant flashes of blinding light that briefly illuminate everything. Also sometimes it touches down and splits a tree in half or fries an entire herd of animals." You'd be like "damn that's some cool world building," and you'd be right, because the world is amazing and you should constantly marvel at the splendor of what we accept as mundane.

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I love their cover of that song, it's on my "mood boost" playlist.

Sprawled out on the couch in a state of utter exhaustion after a long day of manual labor, I turn to my spouse and say, "I don't think I'm ever going to get back up again." Despairingly, I ask, "Do you think Chumbawamba would be disappointed in me?" He answers, "Yeah, but only because you worked that hard for a corporation." He's right, god damn it, he's right.

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Sprawled out on the couch in a state of utter exhaustion after a long day of manual labor, I turn to my spouse and say, "I don't think I'm ever going to get back up again." Despairingly, I ask, "Do you think Chumbawamba would be disappointed in me?" He answers, "Yeah, but only because you worked that hard for a corporation." He's right, god damn it, he's right.

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luv how male animals gotta fucking dance around and cry and shit for female attention and sex. and then men irl complain about fat women and body hair like get on ur fucking knees and beg me actually

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Doing a Demon Slayer rewatch and I just want to know where this fellow was keeping his pocket watch, he has not a single pocket. I do appreciate his commitment to dramatic effect, though, I get the vibe that he just LOVES every opportunity to show that thing off.

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Buspirone, disrespectfully, why the fuck are you a rectangle? Hostile-ass shape for pill, do better.

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This tree went "fuck it, I'm an H" and I respect that. Very lovely.

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Going back to my goofy account to add the this thought: butterflies will also sometimes drink sweat (as well as tears and blood) from humans and other animals for the same reason. So alas, if a butterfly lands on your arm, it probably doesn't think you're a flower - more of a salt lick or mineral block. But hey, that is still very flattering! Salt in particular is a precious commodity in nature, you did that butterfly a solid by being sweaty.

I went to swat what I thought was a mosquito on my leg, but discovered it was actually a tiny bee, and was just like "oh, okay, carry on then." Apparently I'm fine with bugs drinking my sweat, just not my blood. IDK that's probably a reasonable boundary.

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I went to swat what I thought was a mosquito on my leg, but discovered it was actually a tiny bee, and was just like "oh, okay, carry on then." Apparently I'm fine with bugs drinking my sweat, just not my blood. IDK that's probably a reasonable boundary.

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Oh, yes, marvellous, little friend. You are in the exact right place to be that color. Well done.

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Posted this to my other, non-silly account, but may I humbly suggest that you put me in charge of the US economy?

I mastered an important trade negotiation today (convinced our resident danger dog, Badger, to stop her pursuit of this toad in exchange for a chicken head so I could relocate it safely out of the dog yard).

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Me posting part of my yard on FB:

The ticks rushing to my post to heart react it: