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Casual Affections

Showing that they care.

smiling at each other from across the room

randomly texting a gif or emoji

laying their hand on the other’s leg

kiss to the side of the head

squeezing the other’s shoulder

fixing the other’s clothes

guiding them with a hand on the small of their back

embracing them from behind

ruffling their hair

placing their chin on the other’s shoulder

calling them nicknames

winking at them

teasing each other good-naturedly

putting an arm around the other’s shoulder

washing the other's hair

taking a photo of them smiling or in their element

looking in each other's eyes

putting a blanket on them

tugging at the other's clothes to keep them close

making them food they like

laughing at their jokes

placing a hand on the back of the other’s neck

brushing strands of hair away

patting their head

sharing an umbrella

bumping shoulders into each other

randomly face-timing just to hear their voice/see their face

pressing their foreheads together

nudging them to show they are right beside them

laying their head on the other’s shoulder

Love Language Part I | Part II

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Writing a novel when you imagine all you stories in film format is hard because there’s really no written equivalent of “lens flare” or “slow motion montage backed by Gregorian choir”

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falling in love prompts +

feel free to use :)

“i genuinely don’t know why my brain just goes blank when i look at you. i think i’m going a little crazy.”

the little laugh or smile a character a does in utter disbelief because character b is just so endearing and sigh

one character going “so this is really awkward cause i know i told you i wasn’t looking for love but then i kinda fell in love and i would love it if you’d take me”

“can i love you?”

“i just… adore you.”

character a noticing character b is sleepy while driving and being like “hey i can take over for you”

the classic “no i’m not in love with character a, yes thinking about hurting them makes me want to throw myself into ongoing traffic, no it doesn’t make sense to me either”

their love interest fell asleep and your main character has a blanket so they give it to them

confessions when one character thinks the other is sleeping

they kiss for the first time and one character just steps back and is like “um ok. yeah that’s not a normal kiss i def love u”

character not being able to even fathom or come close to understanding how someone can dislike such a beautiful ray of sunshine and oh yeah ok…. they’re def in love

characters who’ve been married for years falling in love all over again

exes to lovers

“i think i love you…?” “….. think?” “let’s just say a ninety-nine percent chance.” “i’ll take it.”

that moment where your character just… looks. just looks at their love interest for more than five seconds and doesn’t understand why or how this earth can exist and the sun and moon exist and the sky can be an eternal source of happiness and yet this person right here can bring so much more warmth and comfort to them with just a single glance

note confessions because yes written confessions in letters are superior

“i got you a gift. i hope you like it.” and character who receives the gift tries not to mention that any gift would mean more than the stars in the sky as long as it was from them

“do you… love me, by any chance?” “yeah, why?” “well, i’m sorry, i was just— WAIT WHAT—”

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messy chaotic ‘we’re terrible for each other but can’t keep our hands off each other’ prompts

oh hello i am in fact alive

“do you ever actually think before speaking? like is your brain capable of processing a thought??” “yeah, it’s just immune to idiotic ones”

“take that back” “prove me wrong” (or; a cliché ‘make me’)

being in some sort of intense slightly pointless staring match (after an argument, preferably) and just saying “oh fuck it who cares” and pulling their neck down to kiss them

“do you the sex would be boring if we didn’t argue before it every time?” “i mean, we could always argue during”

^or, alt: doing it once when you’re not arguing instead kinda tipsy but not drunk, and it’s all giggles and laughter and sweet nothings and the next morning being like “oh fuck i actually like them”

“why does everything with you have to be so difficult!?” “it’s fun getting you all riled up”

“oh, if i had known that’s all it would take for you to shut up i would’ve done this ages ag-“ “only finish that sentence if you have a death wish”

“you’re doing it wrong” “jesus, would you just relax” “no because i’m wasting my tim- oh, oh my god-” the other character smirking, “don’t look so smug” “i think i’ve earned the right, now just trust me, okay? believe it or not, i want to make you feel good”

“so you’ll finally stop being an asshole and just sign the document?” “keep doing this and i’ll sell you my house”

getting jealous and the other character pretending that it’s unreasonable, but secretly character A is the only one they feel a spark with. the only one they feel excited to be around

“we should probably stop this” “yeah” … “we’re not going to though, right?” “oh absolutely not”

“nope no nada, no using sex to get me to do things you want, it’s not going to work anymore”

“you really are a fucking asshole aren’t you?” “yes, i believe that’s what’s on my resume”

“i hate you” “i know” “and that won’t change” “i know” “and you’re still okay with this?” no “yes”

“imagine a universe where we didn’t hate each other, that would be so-“ “boring?” “yeah! like imagine not bickering over tiny things, that’s no fun”

“she says we bicker like an old married couple”

talking with a friend; “you shouldn’t go there” “i know” “and you shouldn’t sleep with them” “i know” “it’s a bad idea” “i know” “well. will you?” “..yeah”

“i know we’re terrible for each other but every time i look at them it’s just like my brain flies out the window and my hormones take over”

“we’re broken up, it’s just two friends going out for drinks, okay?” ending up in one’s bed, but alright

“did you sleep together?” “noooo, i just-“ “tripped on a stone and accidentally dailed his number which magically led to you two meeting at a pub and you just magically teleported to your bedroom without your clothes on? yeah, thought so”

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Did I daydream this, or was there a website for writers with like. A ridiculous quantity of descriptive aid. Like I remember clicking on " inside a cinema " or something like that. Then, BAM. Here's a list of smell and sounds. I can't remember it for the life of me, but if someone else can, help a bitch out <3

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Short stories that live in my head rent free and make me go a little crazy:

The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman (horror)

Lamb to The Slaughter by Roald Dahl (horror)

We Ate The Children Last by Yann Martel (satire/horror)

The Empty Prison by Matt Dymerski (horror)

The October Game by Ray Bradbury (horror)

I Have No Mouth, And I Must Scream by Harlan Ellison (horror/sci-fi)

A Good Man Is Hard To Find by Flannery O'Connor (horror)

The Last Question by Isaac Asimov (sci-fi)

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begging to know you, begging to know what makes you tick, what makes you smile

begging to know about every mile you've walked, everything you've talked about, everything you haven't

begging to be intertwined, lost in time, begging to be your favorite memory

begging to be a thought that crosses your mind, begging you to think of me

[croctears]

writers' resources

sick of using "very _____" ? : https://www.losethevery.com/

want to simplify your writing ? : https://hemingwayapp.com/

writing buddies / motivation ? : https://nanowrimo.org

word you're looking for but don't know ? : https://www.onelook.com/thesaurus/

need a fantasy name ? : https://www.fantasynamegenerators.com/

need a fantasy name ? : https://nameberry.com/

want a name with meaning ? : https://www.behindthename.com/

who wants a map maker! : https://inkarnate.com/

story building / dnd ? : https://www.worldanvil.com/

need some minimalistic writing time ? : https://zenpen.io/

running out of ideas ? : https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/

setting a goal ? how about 3 pages / day ? : https://new.750words.com/

what food did they eat ? : https://www.foodtimeline.org/

questions on diversity within writing ? : https://writingwithcolor.tumblr.com/

now what was that colour called ? : https://ingridsundberg.com/2014/02/04/the-color-thesaurus/

want more? : https://www.tumblr.com/blog/lyralit :]

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it is all chaos and entropy. the thing is that the chaos and entropy make it beautiful and lovely.

yes, it's true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is terrifying. i have lived through some of the unfairness - i got born like this, with my body caving into itself, with this ironic love of dance when i sometimes can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes. i am a poet with hands that are slowly shutting down - i can't hold a pen some days. recently i found a dead bird on our front porch. she had no visible injuries. she had just died, the way things die sometimes.

it is also true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is wonderful. the sheer happenstance that makes rain turn into a rainbow. the impossible coincidence of finding your best friend. i have made so many mistakes and i have let myself down and i have harmed other people by accident. nature moves anyway. on the worst day of my life she delivers me an orange juice sunset, as if she is saying try again tomorrow.

how vast and unknowing the universe! how small we are! isn't that lovely. the universe has given us flowers and harp strings and the shape of clouds. how massive our lives are in comparison to a grasshopper. the world so bright, still undiscovered. even after 30 years of being on this earth, i learned about a new type of animal today: the dhole.

chance echoing in my life like a harmony between two people talking. do you think you and i, living in different worlds but connected through the internet - do you think we've ever seen the same butterfly? they migrate thousands of miles. it's possible, right?

how beautiful the ways we fill the vastness of space. i love that when large amounts of people are applauding in a room, they all start clapping at the same time. i love that the ocean reminds us of our mother's heartbeat. i love that out of all the colors, chlorophyll chose green. i love the coincidences. i love the places where science says i don't know, but it just happens.

"the universe doesn't care about you!" oh, i know. that's okay. i care about the universe. i will put my big stupid heart out into it and watch the universe feast on it. it is not painful. it is strange - the more love you pour into the unfeeling world, the more it feels the world loves you in return. i know it's confirmation bias. i think i'm okay if my proof of kindness is just my own body and my own spirit.

i buried the bird from our porch deep in the woods. that same day, an old friend reaches out to me and says i miss you. wherever you go, no matter how bad it gets - you try to do good.

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I want to quit my job.

I want to get a new job.

I want to live in the city next to a cafe where they know my name and start making my coffee before I've finished walking through the door.

I want to live in a house in the middle of nowhere where I make my coffee with a Moka pot, swaying to the sound of a Billie Holiday record. My house will have a garden full of vegetables and bees, and in the middle of that garden, there will be a lemon tree just like my best friend's nonno used to have.

I want to go to cooking school.

I want to learn how to brew beer.

I want to go back to university and study literature so I can spend my nights immersed in Marlowe and Shelley and the Brontës and Alasdair Grey.

I never want to school again. Instead, I'll study the law and psychology and design from the storyteller armchair in the corner of my living room.

I want to travel, I want to run, to pick up a few outfits and fuck off and call myself by a new name and cut my hair and wear clothes I'd never believe I could wear.

I want a home in the place I was born and a cat and a husband who will happily talk with me about Star Trek for three hours.

I want move to Italy.

I want to make love to a woman again.

I want to live a thousand lives. Sometimes the impossibility of that makes me so angry I get breathless. And when I dig beneath the anger, I realise it's not anger at all. it's fear. Fear that I am not living any kind of life while I lie in my bed half the day dreaming about all of this with fog in my brain and muscles that don't remember how to give someone a hug.

[croctears]

How I Modify My Google Doc for Outlining and Drafting

I previously talked about setting up my document to look like a formatted paperback book to help writing not feel so daunting.

Today, I bring you a different way I change my document that is more appealing to me than the standard Doc.

For Drafts

first, go to Page Set Up

this is what the default is

For my setup: Margins will change to .5" for top, bottom, left, and right.

this is the page color I chose but it's totally optional.

Then, I change my default font. Here is how to find the ones I like. Go to the font option, then click More fonts.

These are the fonts I love. You can search them or browse for ones you like.

next, i change my first-line paragraph indent to .25"

For Outlining

(and also character profiles, world-building, etc.)

You are going to follow the same steps as above first. The only difference is you don't need to mess with any of the indent settings.

I use boxes as dividers and organizers. To do this, go to Insert > Table > 1x1.

Then, change the border thickness to 2.25pt. I usually have a color palette for these, so I'm choosing a darker brown than the background for the borders. But white paper and black table lines work just as well and are more print-friendly ;)

Next, I change the Headings, Subheadings, and Subtitles. To begin, I am changing my Title heading. I choose my font, how big I want it to be, and then I like using a highlight color as well. Here, I'm using a standard light/pastel color and 18pt font.

Highlight to select this new title. Go to the dropdown menu that says "normal text", hover over "Title", then choose "Update 'Title' to Match". Now you can click that every time with no hassle. And it will begin an outline for you to the left.

Let's make that box within a box! Make sure you are typing inside the first box. Then insert another table. I am going to use a 2x3.

Because this table is more than one cell, you can go to the three dots up top and click "Table Options" to change every table border selected at once. Again, 2.25pt with the same color as before. The cell background color says white but you don't have to change it to match the page color.

You can save both your Heading preferences and page setup as your default style. Every new document you make will use these settings automatically.

I really hope this was helpful and/or interesting!

As always, take what you want and leave the rest. Happy writing!

[call it good] writing

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I miss having the energy to be super deep into writerblr, making character aesthetic boards and intros and having a lil banner on top of the post to indicate what wip I was talking about 😭

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— Philip Schultz, from “The God of Loneliness.”

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spilled thoughts (?)

it's been a hot minute since i logged on here so (': haven't really committed to writing in about a year so i'm definitely very rusty. here's a little thing i wrote today, out of frustration, out of pure dissatisfaction with my situation right now.

i used to think i was great. that everything i wanted to achieve is in my hand, that i can be anyone i wanted to be.

what happened to that person i was? the one that thought the whole world was spinning in my palm, the one that thought it was all meant for me.

yet here i am, a rotting carcass of dead dreams and wishful thinking; not an ounce of discipline or hope running through my rusty veins. here i am, under scraps of self-pity and despair. here i am, dull irises trained on a small flicker of the flame of wanting something more licking up my corpse.

here i am, waiting for a black cat to jump over my coffin.

waiting for a reason to start again.

if everything was within grasp, then should i even wait for a trigger?

nothing ever really stuck. people, interests, hobbies. movies, shows, books. nothing ever snagged me in the right spot, it all falls into a steady rhythm. it all gets... boring.

yet some days, the heavy throb of my chest would not allow me to sleep. a constant alarm, a reminder of my raison d'être; that i've still got a little bit of fight in me.

a cue, a nudge, a raised eyebrow to the things that once made my corroded arteries burst with vigour.

perhaps electricity will dance once again on my fingertips, and this time, threads of a better future are wreathed along my digits, right where i wanted it to be.

perhaps i'd have another chance at life again.

taglist (dm/drop an ask to be +\-) // @matcha-chai

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sky is blue and i love robins and my emailbox is full and i love making things for my friends and the ground is frozen and it hasn't snowed this winter which means it'll be a drought this summer again. sky is blue and yesterday i saw a proposal happen on top of a mountain while walking my dog and listening to a dnd podcast and i wasn't lonely i was just kind of awkwardly worried i was ruining the moment and later i spent 4 hours on the floor making a stupid little project.

can i be okay for real this time. can it last. can the horror and the anxiety and the great vast numb horizon all silence themselves and stand like statues at the edge of my soul, only a memory of these things that used to be so powerful. i want to spend the rest of my life in a meadow. i want to spend the rest of my life in a tea party. i want the rest of my life to only lapse in quiet waves instead of the slow advance of acid pools.

sky is blue and i've spent the last year in a hole. i completely burned through 2022. sky is blue and i couldn't look at the moon for months before this week, i was too ashamed for her to see. last year around this time i told my therapist i'm lost i'm lost i'm lost i'm drowning and before i stopped and said - sorry for the hysterics like my dissolving was only a performance. sky is blue and i am still afraid of rabbits and i am still living in a hole with broken glass and ants and it is still winter and i am still so tired and yet! and yet!

can i be okay? can i finally make my way out of this. it doesn't have to be perfect, i don't need that, i'm okay if it means a little work, i guess. it would just be nice for it to exist.

sky is blue. i keep waiting to hear the bird in my chest.

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writing prompts! all about the ache edition

it's just such a good word, okay?

how much longer will my bones keep aching?

my fingertips are bruised, my head is aching

you were aching and the agony from dusk until the dawn

and my aching emotions left alone with the memories I shudder to reveal

he was aching for his own but I made him mine

you lie down and wait for the aching to subside

when your head tells you it's aching but the source point is unfound

but there is an aching beauty in the way you paint the paper

depths of a heart, pumping 'til I ache, reaching for what is gone

there's an ache beneath his tongue when he opens up his mouth

skin will ache when it's being made new

I ache when the doors are closed, when the floorboards sit quiet for too long

my feet shift in boots and ache after loving the ground for too long

I spent days layering paint over paint to replicate the ache in my being

there were things I ached to tell you before it all slipped away

can't sleep for hours, now my head aches

the glass that creaks and aches when I peer from inside to outside is not an ambient sound of happenstance

it aches, and almost all the time

even the dead have delights, even the sun aches to rise

it aches, it eats me and I still don't know its name

the blood runs sweet over the ache in my skin

there's a pleasant ache in goodbye, in knowing that I'll see you again

take away the aches and I don't think I could take it

she waits like a dewdrop for the effervescent ache of disappearing

you are the ache, and despise the way I cannot let you go

[croctears]

Summary: A narcissistic man begins losing his teeth and develops a dangerous psychological fixation with other people’s chompers.

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