diced-sugar

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Weekly update: Crash out!

I’m gonna be real I was fighting myself last week and this week. I’ve finally calmed down a lot but I really was struggling earlier in the week. I was diagnosed with bpd and I spiraled and kept doubting myself. I’ve already been diagnosed with bipolar since 2022 but I didn’t really expect to have bpd as well. I feel a lot better now what I’ve processed these feelings and thanks to the help of my lovely gf so let’s just get into the fun stuff of the week…

I did a lot of cleaning this week, I cleaned three rooms! The kitchen, my bathroom, and the front room! To celebrate my kitchen being all nice and clean again, I baked a chocolate chip banana bread loaf! It was so tasty and honestly it was super nice to bake something from scratch again. I really and truly love baking so I hope I can bake more sweet treats and bread in the future! I’ve also done an excellent job of keeping the kitchen clean all week instead of letting it get dirty again! So hurray!

I got back into journaling this week and this was my spread! It’s honestly such a struggle to do my journaling even though I love it, idk it’s so personal yet I don’t feel like pouring out my emotions onto paper. I’m trying to do better though as I really love journaling and my lovely hobonichi in general!

You need to indulge in the little things in life. For me, that really just means enjoying sweets every now and then, especially with a rich black tea. Growing up, my family would always drink black tea or coffee and pair it with a sweet treat. It’s just how Armenians have their treats I suppose. While I still dislike black coffee, I do often indulge in a sweet treat with black tea. I really enjoy moments like this where I can just be reminded of the past in a positive light.

I don’t have much to say here other than showing off my 90’s glass cutting board. It belonged to the previous owners of this house but they left it for us! It has permanent staining but I really and truly love it. It was never used for its intended purpose but I’m really glad about that. It’s so cute and really reminds me of like 2000’s Olive Garden or Panera bread. It’s awesome.

As usual, my cats were a big source of joy for me this week! Willow in particular has been really clingy and friendly this week! She’s also very silly! I don’t think I ever shared how I got Willow! She was a stray cat that I legit just took off the street one day. She was laying in front of my car and she was super friendly, honestly I thought she was a pet that got out at first! So I put up found cat posters and posted on Facebook and the Nextdoor app in hopes of finding her family, an old lady reached out and said she was a cat that a family dumped when they moved away. I was so devastated that someone would throw out such a sweet and sleepy cat that I decided I had to keep her. She’s been with me since 2021 and she’s turning 5 later this year!

AND SPEAKING OF CATS!!! On August 7th, my darling cat Sasha turned five years old!!! Sasha was my best and only friend for a long time, she is still someone I hold dear to my heart. She is the cutest sweetest friendliest and more curious kitty to ever exist! She is my shadow and my darling sweet kitten! Say happy late birthday Sasha!

My gf and I always stop by the poke and boba shop every Saturday morning. It’s our lunch for the day and such a sweet treat. We go so much that the shop owners and workers at the poke shop have noticed when we skip a weekend! This time, our lovely lady at the poke shop wrote a thank you message on our bowls!!! I nearly sobbed when I saw that!!! It was so cute! It really warmed my heart and I plan to write her a thank you note in return for the next time we see her!!!

And as always since my gf buys us lunch I cook us dinner!!! I was super excited with how the roast beef turned out, I seared it before I put it in the slow cooker and it turned out wonderful. Like wow! The potatoes were bowled then sautéed and they were good but I usually like my potatoes super seasoned, mainly because my mom makes super seasoned breakfast potatoes often and that’s how I’m used to eating them. But I’m trying to get used to flavors that aren’t super strong! And the ceaser salad as usual was great! We listened to CDs while I cooked and it was a lot of fun :3

AND LATER ON THIS FINE SUNDAY MY GF AND I ARE GONNA CALL OUR TUMBLR MOOT AND PLAY TWST WITH THEM!!! I’m so excited to just talk with them but I’m also hyped for another soul to be exposed to TWST! It’s such a silly game but it can genuinely be super emotional at times! I may not talk TWST spoilers for a bit they aren’t exposed to something important! But I just hope they enjoy it what they see of the prologue! Now onto music!

Been listening to this song on REPEAT!!! It’s so fucking good and the little animation that accompanies it is also awesome. I wanna get all of kikuo’s cds one day I love their stuff sooooo much! <3

Been going insane with this song…I think anyone that listens to this song and truly thinks it’s about hating religion did not grow up queer and religious. No matter how much you tried to love god, there was always some distance. The leaders of all the churches I went to told me being gay was the worst sin, even when I was told it wasn’t evil it was still told to me as like “well god will still love you but will you be honoring god by doing that stuff?” I’m glad to be free and I’m glad I found this song it truly brings me a lot of comfort.

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Okay I’m sorry this is so random but, it’s on my mind and it’s my blog so 😭

If I was any Pokémon, I think I’d be a Meganium. Now of course, Meganium is my favorite Pokémon ever, but it’s a bit more than that.

Chikorita was my first starter Pokémon when I first played SoulSilver as a kid, making it also the first Pokémon I ever got. It’s a particularly special starter because it’s a feminine Pokémon specifically for girls to identify with—a feminine partner that bears no human aspects, but is instead cute and appealing to young girls as a familiar choice. Myself, I felt a bit ostracized getting into Pokémon as a child because my older sister was six years older than me, and was into the games beyond what I could comprehend at the time. So, cute and simple Pokémon like Chikorita were what drew me the most, and I think this is true for a lot of other young girls too.

But over the years, it was more than that. Of course, I loved Chikorita and then Bayleef, and then Meganium, as any child would have for their first virtual little guy because I saw her as my partner. I had plenty of friends growing up, but I always felt emotionally isolated from them. This little creature that loved me unconditionally me felt like it was one of the only things that I could truly rely on.

But a big draw to me for Meganium especially is that it’s a big, fat Pokémon. Me, I had always been bigger than my peers, too. And it can be rather sensitive and weak as grass types are usually because of type effectiveness weighed heavily against them and because of Meganium’s sensitive nature in the lore, but it’s also capable of incredible feats of strength. I am not a fast runner, and I have found other ways to exercise (like my infamous trampoline jumping), but my Meganium in the game could always endure. She wasn’t fast, but she could hold out.

Idk maybe this is cringe but 😭 thinking about my beloved Meganium has made me very emotional. I see myself a lot in her even after all these years. If you guys have any Pokémon that are special to you/think reflect you I would love to see it in the replies! :D

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Hey it’s diced-sugar’s gf on her account rn wishing you a spectacular Saturday!

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A little bit of an art dump! Fen, my love... god she is so cute... I loved drawing her in the little sweater 😭 I really craved drawing her again she is just so perfect and sweet. I go crazy over her

Then we have a chibi Hain! I have never really liked my chibi artstyle and always found them hard to draw, but I always get ideas for chibi art. Today I tried something new, and I think it came out very well! Of course, Hain was my test subject because I love tormenting her.

And lastly, we have Cater Diamond. I originally didn't really like how it came out, but I still want to post because there are quite a few things I like about the drawing. I guess it looks too rough to me or something? But I wasn't satisfied just drawing regular Cater and leaving it at that, so I wanted to give him a bit of a rougher look. I guess when it comes to drawing non-OC characters, I can get very particular about drawing their exact details. But, I mean, you can still clearly tell that it's Cater, so yay me!

[diced-sugar]

Dimitri is in love, and Byleth is oblivious🥹

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Me with Rei Izumi part 2

Me with Rei Izumi

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im supposed to be relaxing but i have something evil to say

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Oh man I would absolutely devour the Ikuina fragrance. That would be heavenly. In my perfect imagination, Towa does inexplicably smell like smoky but fresh linens all the time, but alas, it is only my imagination. Ikuina and Rei definitely smell good though.

In terms of the best smelling protagonist… maybe he’s not the best, but I’ll be controversial and say Konoe. Sure, he’s a catboy out in the wild, but he’s also a CATboy. There are countless posts that people make about how their cats smell delicious like cinnamon or vanilla or something. Could be the case for Konoe.

I saw online that this was a thing from the Space a la Mode Nitro Chiral merch line and my instant reaction was "I WANT TO SMELL LIKE TOWA" before realising that he might be the worst protag to actually smell like given he probably smells of alcohol, cigarettes, and (if not for Taku) unwashed clothing.

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Craziest things that happened in the TWST rp that me and my gf did in 2022

Please don't take this stuff seriously at all! It was just a lot of crack stuff and I just thought it would be funny to post. Our twst rp was absolutely off the walls insane and I wanted to share some of the stuff from it. Please enjoy hehe :)

Jamil revealing his signature spell to Cater 3-4 times and Cater acting like it was shocking and new information each time

Sebek getting plowed over by a Bugatti, which belonged to Leona and had gone out of control. It was being driven by Ruggie with Silver and Malleus riding in the back. It drove off a cliff and everyone prepared to die, but Malleus used his magic at the last second to save everyone from plunging to their doom on sharp rocks.

Leona and Ruggie kidnapping Epel and tying him to a chair as they forced him to watch the two of them blow up his Minecraft base in the schoolwide Minecraft server (Idia permabanned them afterward because he was the mod of the server)

Azul going crazy and trying to shoot himself with a real gun kept in his desk, only to discover that it had been replaced by one of the bean guns from Beanfest by Jade and Floyd. Azul then shot Floyd with it in his anger who caught the beans in his mouth and ate them

The Bachelor with Floyd to prevent him from getting with Riddle, put on by Ace

Neige going to federal prison

Neige breaking into Pomefiore and ‘killing’ Ortho (Crowley revived him)

Rollo kidnapping Yuu and keeping them in the Noble Bell College dungeon

Cater overblot and him walking into the sea to try and kill himself

After overblotting Cater’s family disowned him and Cater went to live with Trey’s family instead

Trey and Cater being kidnapped and held in the forest

Vargas Camp but with a real monster and Ortho fell off a waterfall and almost died

The overblotters being kidnapped by STYX, but everyone (excluding Ruggie who took over as housewarden) went to try and save them. Also Neige was there

Najma x Sebek

Ambrose the 63rd dying and his successor, his son, Ambrose the 64th, taking over

Ghost Bride but Eliza came back and tried to court Ace instead

“Study me. Buddy me. Run up beside me. Join the track and field team” —rap song composed by Jack and Deuce for the school club song competition

“This place… it’s horrible. Just like Vegas” —Jack to Deuce

The Crowley Coins scam

Ace going off on Riddle’s mom with a theatrical speech performance

Rook being possessed by Neige

The Changeling

Malleus overblot because he was freaking out over Lilia ‘dying’ but he was really just worried about his bats being sick

Azul’s crazy brother and his goons trying to eat the Octotrio

Ace getting kidnapped and presumed dead. The gang found a dead body in a river nearby wearing the same shoes as Ace, causing Deuce to spiral into grief. It was later discovered that Ace was alive and the person was someone who Crowley had killed like 40 years ago and refused to discuss further

Crowley and Trein divorced husbands

Crowley getting a female cat for Lucius to try and convince Trein that they should get back together

Octavinelle having only four students (there used to be five but they transferred to another dorm and were presumed dead by the remaining NPC member after the Octotrio threatened them)

Neige stealing Cater’s identity and flirting with Vil using his account causing Rook to become incredibly mad and try to kill him)

The Octotrio spread a rumor about Vil which prompted Rook to harass them for weeks on end by pretending to be the lamp in the room

The STYX facility’s ‘jungle mode’ which unleashed a prowl of jaguars on everyone and Leona had to fight them with hand-to-hand combat

Ortho’s parents hating him because he wasn’t the real Ortho (this was long before they revealed how they actually felt about him)

Leona killing RSA students by turning them to sand

Timeskip where Kalim was in an arranged marriage and Jamil came back from traveling just in time to confess his love

Ace saying “This is for you, babe” and then missing the shot for Yuu

Aceyuu and Malleyuu relationship drama (she chose Ace in the end)

Malleus having a fiancé that we dropped after mentioning him twice

Yuu getting kidnapped by the dwarves and being held at Neige’s cottage

Exchange student day with NBC and RSA students

Elliot Dinkleheim

Vil possessed by a demon

Kalim near-overblot

[diced-sugar]

I’M FROTHING AT THE MOUTH JUNKO I LOVE YOU JUNKO I NEED YOU GRRRRRRRRR

Junko Sprites pt 1: 3/4th body pt 1

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Maybe my type is just like, peppy and cute characters with a secret darker side or something, but every time I remember Trick King Cater it makes me insane to be honest. There is a technomancer twink/character that I have featuring in the next arc whose design is still pending, and now I’m really wondering…

Without those cornrows of course… 😭 GO STRAIGHT TO YOUR ROOM FOR THAT YOUNG MAN!!

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if you ever find yourself thinking “wow I scraped the bottom of the barrel with my energy with that and came out okay!” that’s the devil talking. you did not come out okay. you borrowed energy from the future. you will repay it if you don’t rest and replenish the borrowed energy first.

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Draw or write for the remainder of today… not sure. Feels like I have equal motivation for both. If I draw I’ll draw another freak girl, and if I write I’ll write about a freak girl (Luna). Thoughts… opinions…

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Lil sketch for the day… In the first post that I made of her, I said that PM would go to a bar probably. But I had another idea shortly after where she would actually just go to the bar and order only glasses of water and just chill out there. Maybe there’s someone there she wants to talk to or something idk. Either way yay more PM content :D

Also thinking that maybe that will just be her name. The lore can be that P.M. were her initials, and for some reason or another, that’s all she can remember, so she just goes by that name :D

Pose also inspired by me usually sitting with my arm under my boobs… anyone else who has big boobs can maybe relate

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RARE CHERCHE ART??? GOING CRAZY SHE IS SO SO SO CUTE!!! YOU DREW HER PERFECTLY I ADORE YOUR STYLE SO MUCH!!! HER FACE IS SO ADORABLE I LOVE THE EYES

cherche commission for a friend on twt :3

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Weekly update: Ouch!

I briefly talked about a medical issue that I was dealing with, and honestly it was a lot better than it could have been. But cysts are no joke, I’m just grateful that I was able to get the treatment I needed and fast! Because of the cyst, I was out of commission for the majority of the week but fret not! I am still here to discuss everything that I did!

I decorated some more CDs! I am trying to be less analytical about using my stickers and this is just one way I can use them more! The whatever, dad cd was the first cd I ever burned! My mom had taught me to burn them in elementary school but I never felt the need to burn a cd until I listened to that band. Their stuff still means so much to me and I really am grateful that I still have this cd after all these years. And the Connie converse is my newest burned cd! I’ve gushed about her a bunch but hadn’t gotten her music on a cd till earlier this week! I think both CDs are super cute and I had a lot of fun decorating them!!!

Speaking of CDs…that’s right. I am now the official owner of the one and only black butler Noah’s circus arc ost cd…I SCREAMED WHEN I FOUND IT LISTED FOR ONLY 14 BUCKS! Surely there had to be something wrong with it! But nope! It runs perfectly and it even came unsealed! Like WHAT?! Oh this fills me with so much fucking joy I love book of circus and the soundtrack so so so much!!! It’s my second fav arc and I can’t wait to listen to the cd while I journal or cook!

I tried my best to get some writing done this week and I did! I got two chapters done and started the next one. While I do feel a tad bad for not writing as much Dear Nightingale to the same capacity as I previously have, I’m still very proud that I got something done! Also, due to Google docs training their ai off of your writings, I switched over to ellipsus and it’s so much better! I plan to get the prologue and up to chapter 5 updated for people here to preview!!! And this whole week, my cat Sasha has been dutifully by my side. Here she is while I was writing, so cute!

I didn’t drink as much tea this week as I usually do. I just was too tired to make it and my mom would only make me tea if I was sick. But one of the times I did I had my lps by my side and I took this cute photo. Fun fact, to celebrate our 2 year anniversary, Miranda and I got each other a matching lps! But we decided to be quirky…I took the Persian cat lps which is supposed to be her and she took the Siamese cat lps which is supposed to be me! We figured them out by basing the lps on our birthdays!…this exact one was Mira’s but I got an ugly mouse and it made me really sad but the next date was the Siamese cat lol

I don’t talk about TWST as much as I used to but I still adore it a lot! And I went INSANE over the Vil overblot card!!!! It’s legit one of the most beautiful things I’ve even seen. I still can’t believe this is real. It’s breathtaking. I have also been streaming the fuck out of Vil’s character song!!! Vil is legit my fav from TWST and possibly the only character I would ever yume for. I don’t play TWST anymore cause gacha games and games with daily logins drain me but I am still Vil’s biggest fan for real!!!

As usual I spent Saturday with my darling wife! We started our day with poke as usual. Mine is on the left and hers is on the right. I order more simply than her butttttt I think that’s okie. We tried to watch The Truman Show but Pluto Tv (cause yes that’s the only fucking place it’s available…) just refused to play it…it was so frustrating. But I had the most incredible day with her!!! It was amazing! I miss her so much already!!!

And finally…what we had for dinner! I always make sure to cook us dinner whenever she comes over! This time I made a miso soy honey glazed garlic chicken with rice and a spinach salad! Honestly the salad came out botched and kinda inedible but the chicken and rice? Incredible. I season my rice with a tiny bit of sugar, salt, and rice vinegar. I plan to get mirin soon so I can add a bit of that as well! And the chicken, it was so tender and delicate yet it held so much flavor. I’m genuinely really proud of this…I really love cooking for my wife. It makes me so happy when she enjoys my food! I can’t wait to cook something new for her!!!

Now it’s music time. I mentioned Vil’s character song so it would only be far to link it! I have no words for this song. It’s so elegant and dramatic yet sad! It’s truly perfect for Vil! I think I may also be a bit biased cause it is Vil’s song but I still think it’s awesome!!!

I feel a bit embarrassed to put this next song. Not cause it’s a bad song, not in the slightest. It’s a fantastic song, it’s really great. The whole album is! But the reason I listen to it so much is cause I like to imagine my oc Faraji to it…to lore dump but not give spoilers, Faraji looks identical to his ancestor, Virdal. Because of this, he’s been forced to take on numerous burdens he otherwise wouldn’t have been! He doesn’t allow himself to grow facial hair cause he worries it’ll make him look more like Virdal. Faraji and Virdal are both from my gfs story!!!

Last but not least, I found myself listening to this song on loop while worrying about my cyst. It’s short but really soothing…

[diced-sugar]

Me with Rei Izumi