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the batism creature-

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limp bizkit // chocolate starfish and the hot dog flavored water (2000)

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valentines day profile pics for you gay maggots <3

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Kerrang article: Random Q Genrator Name: Jim Root, Bands: Stone Sour/Slipknot AT school, were you a jock or a nerd? "I was a 'jerd', a 'nock'. If I had to choose between those two I would say nerd. & I still am. I wasn't a computer guy because I'm so ancient when I was in school computers weren't that big. but there were jocks, nerds & stoners. I was a stoner because I smoked a lot of pot, but I maninly hung out with the nerds. I didn't hang out at all with the jocks, I fucking hated jocks. A cool nerd I suppose." :

MOUSTACHES: Burt Reynolds or thin Musketeer 'stache? "More of a Reynolds, but it curls up at the ends. I can twist it while I'm contemplating the worst thing I've ever found in my shower.

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Slipknot: A Review

Part 2

(See Slipknot Vs. Batman For Iowa Era)

Conrad's Ratings On How Well He Thinks The Knot Members can Cook (+ What their favorite Poptart Flavor is)

#0 Sid Wilson

8/10

I actually REALLY fuck with Subliminal Versus hhh

No hair in the food. He's got a Tie on so he MUST know what he's doing. -1 for refuses to use the right noodles for the Dish. -1 Stares at you the Entire time you eat.

Poptart: Blueberry. He peels the Crust off.

#1 JOEY JORDISON

3/10

CANNOT COOK! -2 for does he LOOK like he owns a fucking pot OR a Pan. -1 Only has Ketchup and Half a Coke in the fridge. -1 he "Customizes" his Fast Food Orders. (BK BBQ Sauce on a Crunch Wrap Supreme ETC.) -2.5 for Asks you what you want then says no to every Option until you say what he wants. -.5 put salt in your Drink.

Poptart: Cherry or S'Mores.

#2 Paul Gray

10/10

Classic "Spaghetti Date" kinda Guy.

Homemade Sauce. Garlic Bread and Salad as Sides. No Complaints, he just knows what he's doing.

In a Not Spaghetti Setting, he will Cut your food up for you.

Poptart: Cherry. Toasted with Butter.

#3 Chris Fehn

6/10

Look at him Crackin MAD jokes in this Picture, love it.

-2 for "I love Cast Iron Pans Because you don't have to clean them". YES YOU DO. -1 Too much Salt. -1 can't make Eggs. Look at that picture, man looks like he FUCKS UP some Boiled eggs. But look again and Tell me He knows how to Fry one. Exactly.

Poptart: Berry Blast. Don't even know if that's a Real Flavor but it's his favorite FOR SURE.

#4 Jim Root

5/10

This is a Situation where I think that James, THE MAN, is actually a fuckin Superb Chef. This picture however, not Gonna Cut it.

-1 everything is Spicy as FUCK. Like Run To the fuckin Faucet For water, Damn Near Inedible For some Dishes. -1 for ONCE AGAIN I REALLY don't think this man Washes his Hands. It keeps me up at Night. -1 you made a Comment on a piece of his House Decorations and He Spit in your Sauce. -2 doesn't own Actual Plates or Silverware. Styrofoam Babyyy.

Poptart: Banana. Again, don't know if it's Really, but he looks like he likes That Fake Banana Flavor.

#5 Craig Jones

7/10

I think he'd be REALLY good at Grillin.

-1 for seasons Steak with Salt. Not exclusively but it's part of his Steak seasoning blend, it's just wrong. -1 Grill Brush Bristle in your Burger. -1 wears an Apron that has a print of some guys hairy Chest on it, that man is Wearing Speedos...

Poptart: None. Prefers Apple Toaster Strudels.

#6 Clown

5/10

It's Not that he CAN'T cook, he just doesn't.

-1 for Dirty Dishes. -1 for inappropriate Dinner Conversation. He is telling you about the Process of which This Specific kind of meat is Harvested.

(Personally I'd be Mad interested but Some people can't handle all that YK).

-2 for didn't shower before you came over. Nothing and Everything to do with Cooking. -1 His edibles are Kinda Weak.

Poptart: Cookies N Creme. Cream or Creme?

#7 Mick Thomson

8/10

Nah man, look at this fuckin, LOOK. Got me Gay As Hell.

-1 for the Opposite Cast Iron thing. He soaks it. Unforgivable Really. Now you have to season it EVERY TIME. -1 for He gave you a Mickey Mouse Spoon. -1 for he uses the Microwave A LOT. -1 butter butter butter, beer, butter butter. (This is how he keeps the Meat Moist.)

+2 for Dinner was Served on a Zoopals plate of your choosing.

Poptart: Cinnamon. The Superior Flavor.

#8 Corey Taylor

2/10

This is coming Out of pure Hatred for A post someone made. It Inspired me to make this Whole review. In this post, it was a Picture of the most UNDERCOOKED, UNDER SEASONED, WHITE PEOPLE LOOKIN CHICKEN THAT EVER EXISTED. And it was Some like, thing Where Corey was like, 'Made Dinner'. It was BEYOND foul. I know these Ratings are Based on the picture Provided but fucking -3 for That Post.

There is a Method Of Jacking off Wear you put soup in a Ziploc bag, then put it in a sock to make a Fleshlight. -2 for he served you the Sock Soup.

(I have never Tried this, spare me Please.)

-1 for look how dirty his hands are. Motherfucker doesn't even OWN a Sink. -1 for he Keeps sticking his fingers in the food to Taste it.

Poptart: Fudge. Toasted.

The End.

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Slipknot Unmasked: Facepaint Edition

Part 5

As a Fellow French Bulldog Owner, V-Man and I are working the same Wavelength here.

But I have a genuine Question.

So I have a Bunch Pictures of Craig Unmasked, are we interested in a Craig Post, or do we find it Too much? They're Not like Paparazzi Shots Or anything, Just, Pictures that have been Acquired.

Either way

Sorry for the Lack of Variety

Bonus Picture:

Mick. Also Cool Ranch is the Superior Flavor.

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Slipknot vs. Batman

This is clearly the natural progression from my last Knot review.

So how this is gonna go is, Slipknot are Touring during the Iowa Cycle. Tonight's show is in Gotham City. On the way to the venue, Several things go Awry.

Enter Batman.

Shout out to this Dome shot.

It's Robert Pattinson's Batman Because Slipknot could ONLY exist in The ReevesVerse.

0. Sid Wilson

Shriek

(I'm also gonna give them Villain Names)

Is Shriek the name of the chick from Venom? Guess we'll never know.

Stepping off the buss, Sid is immediately reeking of weed. Batman Took a D.A.R.E. course in grade school and knows that saying 'no to drugs' is Cool. Sid is Taken down With a Swift kick to the back of the Legs. He does not put up a fight.

1. Joey Jordison

Porcelain Prince

You know you like the name. Let's get this going.

Scavenging for some food Around the city, Batman sees Joey playfully punch Corey on the arm. "Violence is Wrong," The Dark Knight Whispers. Stalking his way towards the pair, He swoops in and Punches Joey in the Face. Dazed, Joey Let's out a "What the fuck, Are you Batman ??"

Another punch.

"Why the fuck are you on me?" The Smaller man Asks, Fear in his voice.

"Justice." A third punch is administered and Joey is down.

Corey is stunned as Fuck.

2. Paul Gray

The Filth

There's Already The Pyg.

Paul was Actually Caught up in a Case of Right place, Wrong time. Deciding to Tour the historic City, the Band Was Booked to Visit the Famed Wayne Manor. A few of the Men showed up Early to get a closer look without all the supervision. While the others were busy looking around, Paul was digging inside a Silver closet.

In that moment, the back wall shifted.

Batman emerged from the Shadows.

He'd heard of this new guy from the locals but didn't Quite believe the legends.

He introduced himself.

Batman Swiftly Tased him.

3. Chris Fehn

The Liar

Original, I know.

Stuck in Gotham due to harsh weather conditions, Chris found himself Playing Golf with The Social Elites. Alfred was in attendance that day, a rare day off from watching his Man Child Subordinate.

On a particular stressful hole, Alfred found himself glancing around, quickly spotting the long-nosed mask.

Chris was Jerking his nose nervously.

Seeing an older, clearly more experienced man struggle with the course was not a good sign of things to come. Had his mask been unzipped, he'd be biting his fingernails in anticipation.

Alfred doesn't like the way this guy is looking at him and making obscene Gestures.

After the game is over, he informs Bruce.

Chris is taken out from behind.

He lands one punch Batman's collar bone before he gets absolutely Folded.

4. James Root

The Collector/ Puppet Master

At this point I don't even Care if they're Iowa Era Pictures, you get the idea.

On the night of the show, Jim went into Gotham town Square To get a few Supplies (Tape and Beer).

Walking through the dim Streets, He happened upon a Robbery in progress.

Being a man of Substantial build, He Stepped in.

Taking the Purse from the Would-be Robber just as Batman pulled up.

Using his expert Detective skills, Jim was Obviously the robber and it definitely was NOT the guy running down the alley.

Batman begins his Assault.

Jim put up a good fight, his Ultimate Downfall being a nightstick to the Neck.

5. 133

Iron Spike

Sorry about the filter, I love this picture.

Walking through a crowded area, Craig was Shoved into a few people behind him.

Like a hungry shark, Batman smelled the blood.

Craig Stood no chance, Not that he even wanted to Try.

6. Clown

Reminds me of Chop Top With that hanger, scratchin his head.

Shawn was walking through the city talking at his Normal Loud Volume.

Some guys told him to Shut up.

This was met by audible winces from the accompanying Band Mates as The Clown made his way across the street To Fuck these guys up.

It took almost every tool on Batman's belt to get the man down.

Eventually he was thwarted by the Shark Repellant. It has some sort of chloroform like Agent in it.

7. Mick Thomson

Leather Devil

Once again just going with the mask name because it fits.

Trying to avoid the general public, Mick Found himself in a Quaint bar in the Narrows.

Unbeknownst to him, famed Kingpin Penguin had been tracking the band since they arrived in the city and was Currently approaching the Man.

"Long Night?" A hefty man sat on the stool Beside him. Mick grunted in agreement.

"Do you have a pen?"

Mick was getting Aggravated, he wanted to be left alone, Not sign autographs. Does it look like he has a fucking pen.

A disheveled looking Batman stubbles out of the bathroom at the same moment Mick stands up from the bar.

Penguin claps him on the back. "Maybe next time Micky."

Cobblepot in Cahoots with Slipknot? Time to step in and save the Day.

Mick Simply walks out of the bar before Batman can even think about an approach tactic.

8. Corey Taylor

The Creature

The famed creepypasta "Creature".

Back to Joey's entry.

Corey put up a fight to keep his friend from being beaten up. He jumped on The Bat's Back and tried to draw as much attention as possible to the scene.

He escaped this encounter relatively unharmed.

Taking note of Where his bandages had last been seen, he made it his Duty to get revenge on The Batman.

To be Continued...

Love Bad Fanfic. This didn't go nearly the way I thought it would but that's okay because It's still Exactly what it needs to be.

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Slipknot Unmasked: Facepaint Edition

Part 4

I swear it's the Same Jim Pic in every one of these posts.

New Members. Rare Mick. The Lovely Miss Stacy. Joey and Korn. Possible Fred Durst?? We've got it all This time.

OOBER sorry for the ugly ass filter on the second picture y'all.

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I found them all

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Jonathan Davis: FTL Goggles

I'm willing to embarrass myself.

This right here is PEAK Jon Form. Just look how Pretty.

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Dick “it’s not broken if I can still move it” Grayson and his brother Jason “what bullet wound, I don’t see a bullet wound” Todd are proof that dumbassery can be inherited even through adoption (from one Bruce “I’ve never been injured in my life” Wayne)

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Slipknot: A Review

This is a JOKE. That being Said.....

Conrad's Ratings On How much "Pull Game" The Knot Members Had. (And if they use Spray or Stick Deodorant)

This is 100 Percent Biased. This isn't a News source, welcome to My Hyperfixation.

Pull Game: We're gonna Loosely Define this as, If they could Hypothetically get bitches.

0. Sid Wilson

9/10

Starting Strong, Sid's got it on Lock. Docking One Point Because The Hyperfixations can Be DETRIMENTAL to getting bitches and Some people might not think Transformers are Cool.

Spray: Old Spice

1. Joey Jordison

8/10

Joey was For SURE getting Hoes in the Book. No questions. But this Specific picture (because I chose it), What in the 'Just Crawled out from under the Sink' is he doing.

-1 For Posture, tighten up man. Your neck is about to be at a Permanent Right angle. -1 for, idk I feel like he'd Say some strange shit.

Stick: He puts it on by going through the bottom of his shirt.

2. Paul Gray

7/10

Personally, LARGE fan of Paul. But we gotta think about this Logically alright. It's 2000, you're approached by this Man, he offers you a Cigarette. You take it OBVIOUSLY, he's just a being Nice.

-1 for possible Off puttingness. -1 Approachability (??). -1 When he lets you hit the bong he tells you it's not that bad and you end up coughing your eye out.

Stick: He looks like he has a Cool Sock Collection.

3. Chris Fehn

9/10

In our Hearts we all Know this man was a Ten. The eyebrows on His Mask Here are Very Good, which May Cancel out this lost Point.

-1 For Public Masturbation.

Stick: There's a Bite Missing

4. James Root

7/10

Now, if this was Blonde Jim, 10. I'd Find no reason to criticize, but it's not and this One picture will dictate his Entire Rating.

-1 Gay. Self Explanatory. -1 touched his balls and Wiped his hand on your neck. -1 pissed and didn't wash hands.

Does NOT wear deodorant and if he does it's that Paste organic kind.

5. 133

6/10

Once Again We All know he's Ten. Love a Strong Silent Guy. You know how this goes though, the picture selected Has Sealed his Fate.

-1 for, is this a school photo??. Update your portfolio. -1 I don't have my shots and those definitely have something. -1 he looks like a Train Guy. -1 beer cooler says 'for the boys'.

Stick. Looks like he tried to finger it.

6. Clown

5/10

Yo look how Whimsical he is. We got Elderman Shawn here. Physically, jumping this man's bones. Personality wise, he makes me MAD AS FUCK.

-1 if you pulled his hair it would come out in CLUMPS. -1 smells like fish. -1 definitely has a Foot Fetish. But I'm not talking NORMAL foot fetish I mean this man wants to put HIS feet on YOU. -1 says 'Honk Honk' when he grabs your Tits. Fucking YIKES. -1 keeps Muttering to Himself about The Circus, You should probably go...

Stick? It's Somewhere amongst his Things.

7. Mick Thomson

10/10

Any Day of the Week. He's just Got everything Going Right. Possible only downfall would be How strange his Wrist is Bent up in this pic but I will not Dock him for that.

Stick. He gets the Twin Packs to Share With Crew.

8. Corey Taylor

4/10.

Before you Say it, Yes, I would. But this isn't about That. This is about the fact that He gets NO BITCHES. And I'm not Talking about the Occasional, I mean this guy has never doesn't even know what Sex IS.

-2 he's COMING UP THE STAIRS FROM HIS DWELLING. -1 eats His own Ear wax. -1 how do you have lice and you only have Maybe 13 Pieces of Hair. -1 there Are Juice Stains around his mouth. -1 ate a mouse.

Spray. He likes to Stab The Cans So they Explode.

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In conclusion, I started Writing this at 4 am. It is now almost Seven. Have a Wonderful rest of your day.

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Mick Thomson

Fuck I'm so Gay. He's So hot. My brain is Fried.

I've Been Kind of on a Thing for Mick Lately. Look at him, he's so pretty.

Like I went through Miss Stacy's Instagram and it really puts into perspective Just how big he is.

Idk Just, Big Men. hhh. But He's just So Pretty, Look at his Stomach, I can't get enough of that shit. Any time I see a Man Bear-Built Man My brain just Reboots.

Don't even know what to Say I just Felt the need to Make this Post. Admire Him With me.

That's all for now.

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Why do pictures of Joey crossing his legs make me lose it

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Slipknot Unmasked: Facepaint Edition

Part 3

Found Some Good ones of Mick, Super happy with the last one (Corey and Shawn).

The Paul pics are hitting extra hard today.

You're welcome to reblog with your own additions.

Bonus:

Sid, Corey, Clown.