dontwannaliv

[dontwannaliv]

This is something I've been thinking about a lot recently.

So, social media is horrible, I'm sure we can all agree with this. But, I think it was and is something necessary for society. I may be compltely wrong, but as we have evovled over these millions of years our way of life has changed drastically with that. The population grew and people started inventing new things. Which is what humans do, we are naturally creative.

That's what I find at least, it's why we learn, It's why evolution happens because we can't stay the same forever or that would defeat the person of ever living or existing. I think we exist to create something out of life, whether that be good or bad is all relative. And because of this natural incessant need to learn and grow a lot of people channel that into creating. That's what it all comes down to. Take away the money and fame, people would still create at the end of the world. We create just by existing in moments of time if you really think about it.

Because of these ideas turned reality we get the world we live in today. It's filled to the bursting with peoples ideas and developments, and social media is one of them. That's why I think it is necessary for society. Do you think the first plane ever invented was a total success? No, it wasn't. There were issues and problems that needed to be developed, like with any new invention. But unlike social media, the planes problems were very visable and so small scale that they could be fixed relatively quickly.

as we have evovled and become more complex, our problems have gotten more complex. And complex problems take a longer time to fix and trial and error needs to happen before you find the right solution. That's what it's going to take with social media, trial and error. It's not going to be easy but it's a complex and destructive issue we've thrown ourselves into.

It's hard to explain.

I just think that social media is truly apart of our development as a society, it's not inherantly good but it's development nonetheless. And I think if it wasn't social media it'd be something else. It'd be some other invention that would confound us and cause problems. It's just the human condition, we won't really know what were capable of until we've compltely destroyed ourselves and come out the other side. It's a destructive process but one unique to humans. That same self destructiveness can be found in all of us. I don't know.

I just don't think that social media and the internet isnt something compltely evil, I think it's an invention that was given to the public too early before all the issues could be fine-tuned. I'm not saying that I dont absolutely despise the affects social media is having on people, but I just don't think it's an unsolvable issue and I think everyone is still learning.

I hope that to be okay with the state of the world we won't have to completely destroy it, because history and present day shows that this is the direction it's headed. I hope that we don't ever find out all that were capable of as a society, what depths are we able to reach, I think somethings are better left alone.

I don't know if that makes any sense at all, and if it doesn't. Oh well. It's jsut something that has really been on my mind. Thanks for listening to my non-sensical rambling:)

[dontwannaliv]

The walking dead and Metallica, the perfect combo in my opinion ❤️

[dontwannaliv]

Ugh, he's so fine

By likeafunerall on twt/ig

[dontwannaliv]

Regulus fussing and Jegulus being cute.

Regulus is pissed.

When he started dating James Potter, he was well aware of what he was getting into. James is popular, most of the student body likes or admires him, and a lot of people feel they know James. Feel they have a right to him just because he's kind. People have crushes on him, smiling a little too brightly as he passes, and James being James mistakes this enthusiasm for friendiness. Regulus knows better.

That's why when a hufflepuff girl and her group of friends walk down the hall, smiling, waving and twirling their hair at James, Regulus glares daggers at them. Telling them with just one look to back the fuck off. James is his.

They don't know him at all. Those girls don't see how nervous James is before a match, or how he over analyzes ever single thing he did after one. They don't talk with James about his darkest fears and deepest insecurities. They'd probably scoff at the idea of James Potter being insecure. Regulus doesn't scoff.

He holds James while he cries and calms him while he panics. He cradles him when they sleep and tells him he loves him when they wake. Regulus knows James in a way no one else does, in a way no one else will.

But, as possessive as Regulus is, he also pities them.

No one will ever be able to admire James the way he does. When it's summer and they're lying on the grass, hands intertwined, James talking endlessly about anything while Regulus admires the way the sun creates small shadows across his face.

When James tackles him from behind and presses soft kisses along his neck, wrapping his arms around his waist. Regulus can only laugh breathlessly and smile before he spins around plants his own kisses on James' cheeks. Or when they're lying in bed together and Regulus glides the tip of his finger along James' face, reveling in the fact only he gets to do this. That only he get's to touch the sun without getting burned.

Maybe he isn't so pissed afterall.

Regulus finally looks over at James, after having pratically ignored him after those hufflepuff girls passed, and is met with a soft smile. James watches Regulus like he's something worth looking at, like he wants to study and memorize every single feature on his face. Regulus' heart gives a small flutter.

"What?" he asks.

"You look nice," James says as he continues to stare.

"I look the same as I do everyday, James."

"Yeah, and you look nice everyday," James frowns slightly, as if Regulus has said something weird.

"Alright, whatever you say," Regulus sighs.

Abruptly, Regulus is yanked to the left and down a seperate hall. Before he has any time to react, James is in front of him, holding his face in his hands and kissing him softly. Regulus reacts almost immediately, grabbing onto James' shirt and dropping his school bag.

After a few minutes they reluctantly break apart, only enough to look at eachother, breathless and warm.

"What was that for?" Regulus whispers into the few inches between their faces.

"You were just too lovely not to kiss," James whispers back.

Yeah, Regulus is definitely not pisssed anymore.

[dontwannaliv]

this is the most beautiful piece of art i've seen in a long time oh my god

ac: likeafunerall

[dontwannaliv]

I hate studying. I hate it I hate it I hate it.

The only reason I study is because Remus Lupin studies and I can't have him dissapointed in me.

This man is single handedly responsible for my motivation in literally anything to do with school.

[dontwannaliv]

Midnight rant.

We live in a dystopia. The Hunger Games was hurling that brick at our fucking faces.

The hunger games is a brilliant social commentary on power and the human condition. Katniss lives in a world where a certain group of people get to live comfortable lives while the rest don't, an understatement. Majority of population is fucking starving and scared. Now, this isn't extremely far off from our world, but what really seperates the hunger games and reality is the actual games and districts. The fact that KIDS AND TEENS are forced to fight to the death in an arena while being filmed live for the entertainment of the people in the capital (absolutely insane and horrible). The fact that the population is divided into districts where they are literally used and abused because snow knows that they are not strong enough when vulnerable like that.

This is the distinct difference in Katniss's world and ours. I'm sure lots of people were thinking while reading or watching it that this horrific world could never EVER come to be, we wouldn't let that happen. And that's the brilliance of it all. Just because that particular senario wouldn't happen, doesn't mean that there are not a million other ones that are just as horrifying happening right now. We are so decensitized to the world around us that we don't see the literal "hunger games" people are living through right now. Poverty, starvation, homelessness, war, human trafficking, sexual assault, mental health crisis, climate change, etc. It's a fucking shit show. Some people may say that this is just the way the world is, that it's the human condition, just like how living through and surviving pain was the human condition for Katniss.

But that's exactly what I'm saying. We are completely decensitized. A lot of us recognize that horrible things happen to many people but we are forced to co-exist with that knowledge. Especially as young adults, because if we think about, really think about the world we live in, it would destroy any sense of hope.

I just think it's eerie that the hunger games isn't completely outlandish anymore. That it can even be considered and discussed as something more than a dystopian novel with a message. It's become a distorted mirror, a twisted reflection of our reality.

The millionares, celebrities and rich (white) upperclass get to sit pretty, untouched at the top. It's not as extreme as the people in the capital, but there is that distinct line of wealthy and non-wealthy. However, it's not as black and white as the hunger games, a lot of celebrities are good people and I'm not insulting them, I'm insulting the industry as a whole. The Met Gala is the closest we get to the capital. Crazy outfits and utter oblivion to the outside world.

The Marauders fucks with this idea too. Crimson Rivers? Absolutely genius. bizarrestars literally took all the best parts of hunger games and made it better. I owe them/him/her life.

Also, canonically there is a lot of themes extremely relevant today. When I say canonically I mean ATYD, leave me alone. There's jsut so much to unpack and I can't do it right now. This'll be 20 more fucking paragraphs.

Anyways, I love hunger games and the marauders, and we live in a complete and utter dystopia. Minus the romanticization of it all.

[dontwannaliv]

Crimson rivers quotes actually destroy me, it’s not okay. (Spoiler) Like in the second arena when Regulus and Sirius are fighting in the maze and after they agree to live for each other instead of die. 😖😖😖😖😖 I cried. AND your hesitating love, when I say I have a physical reaction. My poor fucking heart.

I know I mixed canon Regulus’ story with Crimson Rivers quotes but it’s just so sad and I don’t care if it makes no sense, deal with it.

[dontwannaliv]

I don't know if anyone will agree with me, but hear me out. Not all of the Marauders characters are stunning. HEAR ME OUT. I'm not talking about the common headcanon of Peter being the least attractive of the group, I'm talking about skinny, lanky Remus with an awkward build and awkward face. The tall nerd with scruffy hair and tattered sweaters. I know that people like casanova Remus and hot sexy attractive Remus that smokes and is mysterious, I do too, to an extent. I think that because we are talking about a group of teenage boys, they're not all gonna be hot models. It makes them less relatable and more like objects, which really pisses me off. Remus isn't toned muscles and abs, he's skinny if not scrawny. He has the typical build of someone who doesn't play sports and spends all of their time studying, reading, playing guitar, writing, whatever you prefer. That's ok, better even. I love awkward Remus who's a smart, witty when he wants, kind of clumsy, agressive when nescessary, deeply insecure guy.

It's not just Remus. James is also not flawless. He is, afterall, a wild-haired boy that wears glasses. He's going to be imperfect. However, he will always be charming, kind, funny, caring etc. I mean he's James, it's the same way that Remus is more resposible or mature, it's just the foundation of their characters. Even so, don't think that James can't have deep internal flaws and mental health issues, those things can co-exist with all of his wonderful personality traits. But the level of attractiveness each one of them is held to is maddening. I really miss and would love to see more of awkward, lanky Remus and messy, flawed James. Peter, generally, is not part of this standard, with often being the "least attractive" in the group (he's not).

Sirius is another conversation. Because I truly believe he is a very attractive guy, but, he does have flaws. Like maybe he wouldn't look so good without his hair (that's genuinely the only one I can think of, referencing atyd). It's just the fact that Sirius is so attractive and knows this that is a big, huge, part of his character and without that he wouldn't have a lot of his distinct personality traits. His attractiveness though, and often headcanoned confidence, is usually a facade to hide his true feelings; which are anything but pretty. He's a messy, unhappy, confused person, AND THAT'S OK. That doesn't make him any less charming or handsome, that just makes him human.

Okay, I'm getting off track.

Regulus is also a victim of this. I read a fic recently where he was described as this gorgeous boy, not only by James but by other people as well. And good for him, but really? Come on. It's become such an important, prominent and common theme in a lot of the fics where they are all gorgeous. Like Regulus, in my mind, is skinny, has a severe face with sharp features and is gaunt and haunted by his internalized fear and grief. He's not a happy person and I think his looks reflect that. And I do recognize that a lot of these stories are told in the POVs of James, Regulus, Sirius and Remus where they are going to call the person they are in love with (wolfstar and jegulus) beautiful. I'm all for that, it's the kind of fluff I live for, but maybe instead of admiring their conventially attractive muscles or jawlines, they could admire their quirks and flaws?

It all comes down to humanizing them, because when I see all of these gorgeous celebrities and influencers showing me what "beauty" is, I don't also want to be fed that when I'm reading about my favourite gay wizards. I just want to feel like being mediocre is okay, I think a lot of people do, and that starts with things like this.

The girls are a COMPLTELY DIFERENT CONVERSATION. But while were here...

The girls are all beautiful. Yes, they have flaws but its a little different for them. Beauty standards for women are ridiculous and disgusting. So, when we desribe just how beautiful Mary, Marlene, Dorcas, Lily and Pandora are it needs to be not in a completely conventional way. It needs to be on the basis of personality and looks that are otherwise considered as mediocre. Like, maybe Lily is plus sized or Pandora has frizzy curls. Things like that, things that contradict disgusting standards.

However, I'm not saying that they can't be conventionally attractive either. It's for sure allowed because that still is beauty. Like Mary in atyd is very conventionaly beautiful with nice boobs and a nice body. BUT, this type of beauty needs to be paired with other humanizing features. It can't be her whole personality, whoever you're writing about. She needs to have flaws as well as beauty or what society views as "flaws" described as beauty.

Girls need that type of reprisentation of no matter how you look or are, you are beautiful.

So, that is my four a.m, rant about beauty and the marauders. For the boys it's all about humanizing them and showing that not only typically attractive people find love. And for the girls it's all about describing their beauty in a way that allows the girl reading it to feel reprisented and beautiful because of that.

So, yeah. Thanks for listening<3

Oh, and notice how I never called any of them "ugly" or "unattractive". That's because they are all beautiful to me.