elegantthingqueen

[elegantthingqueen]

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

[elegantthingqueen]

A very very dumb Apothecary diaries AU where Lakan checks in on Fengxian before he leaves finds out she's pregnant. She can't go with him or marry him yet but instead while he goes abroad to study she stays with Luomen helping him set up pharmacy after he's cast out from his family.

She and Lakan stay in regular contact through letters, both of them gushing over letters only for someone top look over their shoulders and see letter is only a move in go They're playing long distance each letter is just the next move. At least until Maomao is born the Fengxian includes scribble drawings Maomao does or hand prints...Lakan office and room are full all walls covered in them.

The two reunite and although they live with La clan and Lakan gets headship but they still visit Luoman and the visit Verdigris house (Madame still hastes Lakan but they send good business recommending them to high ranking officials). So Maomao still has her big sisters and still learns about medicine and poison from Luomen.

She still tests on herself , Lakan freaks out but Fengxian trusts her daughter just makes sure they have plenty of antivenom and antidotes ( Basically every room in the LA family state has an emergency draw for if Maomao has had poison again)

Maomao doesn't get kidnapped, she ends up in rear palace because consort Ah-Dou she can see that Lishu is struggling she can't intervene or protect her within her own court so she contacts Fenxian who she's met at functions other the years.

Ah-Dou- Fengxian you have a daughter correct. Is she as terrifying as you?

Fenxian: Of course

Ah-Dou: May I please request a favor?

Maomao enters Lishu's court not as a noble but as a lady in waiting (and the food tester, it's how she agreed to it)

Maomao: Do I really need to go into court I want to make medicine

Fengxian: You will be testing food for poison

Maomao:....deal

She of course see's the bullying in the court and instantly Nopes, she does totally overhaul terrifying Lishu's ladies in waiting and getting rid of them, she spends time around other servants and ends up recruiting other servants as new ladies in waiting ones who will actually care for and protect Lishu. Full big sister Maomao mode with Lishu.

She keeps an eye on other departments dressing as a maid while moving around to avoid suspicion and still see's the confrontation between Gyokuyo and Lishu and sends the messages with torn dress (She didn't get chance to change and couldn't go into their pavilions in her lady in waiting clothes)

She gets dragged in the room with other maids also, she kinda gets stuck and pulled in and meets Gyokuyo having to admit so sorry can't be your lady in waiting already Lishu's. Jinshi suddenly puts together about the totally change in ladies in waiting and promotion of other servants. Jinshi is very curious but Maomao is able to divert attention.

Gyokuyo still wants to see Maomao and so she moves between both her and Lishu and gets Lishu to spend more time with Gyokuyo the two getting along well.

She also helps Lihua as before and then she is basically going between 3 of them and the 3 consorts spend time together... Lihua and Gyokuyo figure out who Moamao is but they're not saying they want to keep Maomao around and also they are all shipping Jinmao and enjoying watching this soap opera.

The banquet happens but Maomao is of course Lishu's food tester not Gyokuyo's but none of the old ladies in waiting are there to bully Lishu and swap bowls so Moamao still gets poison. (She 100% tried to get to test food for all 3 consorts ... they didn't let her)

Lakan still trolls Jinshi because he's seen letters Ah-Dou and others sent Fengxian keeping her updated and is suspicious about Jinshi and his precious daughter. (Fengxian and Jinshi are planning the wedding already)

When Maomao is still dismissed after the poisoning is revealed and Jinshi is super upset and sulky until fancy banquet and high ranking personnel and then sees Maomao again as daughter of head of La clan...

Maomao: I suppose you are upset than I hide my identity

Jinshi:...

Jinshi:Yes very upset (he says hypothetically ignoring looks he is getting form the emperor and Gaoshun)

She still comes back to rear place (The consorts missed her so much... plus they have a betting pool... a lot of people are in it Fengxian has a board plotting moves so the 2 get together when she's bet...while Lakan is pouting in corner that no one deserves their baby girl)

(Light Novel spoilers

Lahan is raised as Maomao's brother and adores his sister, the two are chaos gremlins her making medicines and him plotting how to self and market them

He is also adored by Verdegris house the beloved little brother... also everyone is pretty sure he and Maomao are twins they know there was only 1 baby but... they're sure the 2 are siblings.

The madame also adores him both coming up with schemes for money and he happily does the accounting when they visit (they're sure he's her favorite)

When Jinshi sees them together before knowing they're related he thinks the 2 might be a couple, Gaoshun is face palming and despairing while the courtesans are losing it laughing)

[elegantthingqueen]

I also just started watching and can confirm all true

Watching Apothecary Diaries

I started watching this show about two days ago, and I have come to several conclusions.

Maomao is surprisingly well connected. If someone at court bothers her, there is a high chance someone Very Important will instantly spawn nearby to correct them, be that Lakan, Jinshi, Lady Gyokuyo, Lady Lihua or someone else. Heck, even the Emperor knows of her. Messing with Maomao is a surefire way to get sniped by someone with way more authority than you.

Jinshi is the most jealous jellybean around. He's so silly, and it's hilarious watching him freak out every time Maomao interacts with someone else. Watching him sulk is even funnier. He just folds up like a soggy little pancake.

Gaoshun is the only sane one here, and he deserves a raise.

[elegantthingqueen]

Ok so I just had a thought and bare with me cause it's like past 2 am and this could be the dumbest shit out there but like isn't the MCU basically just untagged fanfiction of the marvel comics, with a huge budget, where the author only takes a vague sense of inspiration from canon just think about it like the MCU is based off of the marvel comics but that only it we can guess some things based on the comics but it can only ever be an educated guess cause the MCU doesn't actually follow the comics storylines only some of the characters and the setting is mostly the same

[elegantthingqueen]

Omg this looks so amazing I love how they are drawn and Bob's outfit is just the best thing I've ever laid eyes on

Some fanart of cafae latte also this is how I presive them to look like so not accurate to what their creator C.M Alongi describes though I tried. Also the characters belong to C.M Alongi on tiktok

[elegantthingqueen]

My favourite Cafae late quotes, in no particular order:

1.

Bob: [...] are you a virgin?

Nicole: No

JC: Yeah, can confirm

2.

[Drek asking what an enforcer is]

JC: It's a name for a lot of under the table jobs-

Amyth: We beat people up, dear

3.

Bob: What threw both of us of is that you brought your actual child in

Husnia: Why wouldn't I, you're no threat.

4.

Yarn Granny: What's it called again? SMUT!

5.

JC: Here's my two weeks notice

Bob: I don't accept this

6.

Cyrus: I know it's not a particularly high bar, but thanks for not selling me to a cannibal goat man

Bob: You're welcome

7.

[after talking about the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus being real]

Drek: I guess we better make coffee and pastries for bigfoot

Cyrus: Dont be silly, he's just an urban legend

8.

Drek: Im gay

Rethu: FUCK!

9.

JC: Can I go back to being a miserable drug addict who doesn't care about people or feelings?

Cyrus: You can. But we'd all be very disappointed in you

10.

Bob: Welcome to CaFae Latte, where the new motto is 'come for the coffee, stay for the tea. On another note, im no longer letting my ward choose what to put on our merch.

[elegantthingqueen]

i need the most gut-wrenching description of how lyall went from being the most down to earth, patient, kind father to distant and guilt-ridden to the point where he couldnt meet remus' eyes

[elegantthingqueen]

sirius and regulus graves are both empty. thought i would share that information

[elegantthingqueen]

Sirius found the letter buried in a drawer beneath old birth certificates and pure blood family trees. It was crinkled and yellowed, not meant to be read. Not by him.

"Male, by parental choice," it said. Words clinical. Detached.

He read it three times before the words lost shape, swimming behind the sting in his eyes. His hands trembled, the paper fluttering like wings caught in a storm.

He had always known something didn’t fit quite right. The mirror never felt like a truth teller. His body, his voice, his bones, none of it quite belonged the way it seemed to for James, or Remus, or even Regulus.

But this? This was a decision. A fork in the road taken without him.

“They chose for me,” he whispered into the silence of the room. “They looked at me and decided what I’d be.”

Anger bloomed like fire in his chest. How could they? How could they hold that power and never think to let him hold it too?

It wasn’t that he didn’t love being Sirius. It was that Sirius should have had the choice to become himself. Not be sculpted by parents who only saw heirs and legacies.

He stood at the mirror now, shirt lifted, fingers tracing the lines of his body, not hating it, but questioning for the first time what it could have been. What it might still be.

Later, when he told Remus, voice cracking around the edges, he braced for confusion. Or worse, pity.

But Remus just listened. Quiet, steady.

“That was never their choice to make,” he said, voice like a grounding spell. “But it’s yours now. Whatever you want. However you feel. You’re still Sirius. And I love all the versions you’ve ever been or will ever be.”

Sirius breathed out. Shaky. Relieved.

James found Sirius on the Astronomy Tower. Legs pulled up, arms wrapped around his knees, hair tangled from the wind. It was too late for him to be up there alone, too cold not to have cast a warming charm. But Sirius hadn’t. He just sat there, eyes locked on the stars like they owed him answers.

James didn’t speak right away. Just sat beside him, shoulder to shoulder.

Sirius didn’t look at him. “You ever feel like your body isn’t really yours?” he asked softly.

James blinked, thrown by the quiet vulnerability. “Not… not really. Why?”

Sirius pulled a folded parchment from his coat pocket, crumpled from being read too many times. He handed it to James without a word.

James read it once. Twice. And slowly, his throat tightened. “Sirius—”

“I didn’t know,” Sirius interrupted, voice shaking. “They made the decision before I could even speak. Before I could be anything.”

He laughed, bitter and wet. “I always thought there was something wrong with me. That I wasn’t man enough. That maybe I was just broken.”

James looked at him, really looked. Sirius’ face was red, jaw clenched like he was holding back a scream. But the tears still slipped free, traitorous, and aching. He wiped at them harshly.

James put the paper down and wrapped an arm around him.

“You’re not broken,” he said. “You’re Sirius. You’re my brother. You’re the best person I know.”

Sirius choked on a sob and leaned into him, burying his face in James’ shoulder.

“I didn’t get to choose who I was supposed to be,” he whispered.

“But you do now,” James murmured. “And no matter what you choose, I’m not going anywhere. Alright?”

Sirius nodded, clinging a little tighter, as if he’d finally allowed himself to be held. The stars above kept shining, but for once, Sirius didn’t need them to light his way. He had James.

The next few weeks passed in subtle shifts. Nothing dramatic. Sirius didn’t burst out in the common room with a declaration or change his name overnight. But something in him loosened, like a thread finally freed from a too tight knot.

He started experimenting. Borrowed eyeliner from Marlene. Let Lily charm his hair into waves. Wore his shirts a little more open. Painted his nails black one day and didn’t say a word when someone asked. When Remus told him he looked cool, Sirius smiled like it actually reached somewhere deep.

The Marauders noticed, of course. James was the first to start referring to Sirius as “our hot mess of chaos and beauty.” Remus started calling him “love” instead of “mate” without missing a beat. Peter was awkward for about a week, then shyly asked if he could learn to braid Sirius’ hair for him.

Sirius didn’t always know what he wanted to be called. Some days, he was fine with “he.” Some days, “they” fit better. Once, when Remus called him “gorgeous girl” as a joke, Sirius surprised himself by not flinching.

But the important thing was that no one made him pick. Not right away. Not at all.

One evening, when they were sprawled out in the Gryffindor common room like always, Remus reading, James practicing wand twirls, Peter sketching something chaotic, Sirius spoke without warning.

“I think I might be both,” he said. “A boy and a girl. Or neither. Or something… in between.”

Remus looked up. “Okay,” he said, like it was the simplest thing in the world.

James grinned. “Mate, you could tell me you were a sentient cloud and I’d still throw hands for you.”

Peter blinked. “Do we still call you Sirius?”

“For now,” they said. Then smirked. “Unless you want to call me Empress Black.”

James clutched his heart. “I kneel, my liege.”

Remus rolled his eyes but leaned over to kiss Sirius’ temple. “Whoever you are,” he said quietly, “you’re ours.”

Sirius, for the first time in a long time, felt like maybe that body, however complicated it was, was finally starting to feel like theirs.

[elegantthingqueen]

modern au regulus listening to family line wondering if sirius was listening to it at the same time (he was)

[elegantthingqueen]

This might be my favourite animagus Reg hedcanon

James Potter walking around Hogwarts encounters a black kitty. Calls him handsome, pets him, and takes many pictures, baby-talking to him like normal people do when they see a cat.

Regulus Black afterwards, gay panicking in his dorm. Because someone called him handsome. James Potter called him handsome.

James in his room just talking about a cute kitty he found on the grounds, completely oblivious.

<3

[elegantthingqueen]

the secret diary of laura palmer, jennifer lynch

[elegantthingqueen]

Evan: This is the year we start oppressing people who like their hot chocolate with water.

Regulus: If you're lactose intolerant you can stay but you're on fucking thin ice.

Barty: I eat the powder straight from the pack.

Regulus:

Evan: Hey do you know how horrible what you just said was?

[elegantthingqueen]

Trivia Night

Wade: this is an easy one, name a bear

Aaron: Papa?

Celina: you would say papa bear before mama bear

Aaron: hey now *begins arguing*

Angela: I was gonna say bear claws

Tim: are you talking about the pastry?

Angela: i don’t like how judgemental you sound *starts arguing too*

John: Koala!

Nyla: koalas are marsupials.

John: wait they aren’t bears? *begins debating*

Lucy quietly: I was gonna say grizzly bears *smiles*

Wade: this is why you’re my favorite

[elegantthingqueen]

Regulus: I want all of you to die.

James, spraying Regulus with water: Bad Reggie. Bad.

[elegantthingqueen]

Unhinged Reyna Hcs

Enough of the organised and put together reyna propaganda! She was a praetor by her early teens?? If Will is insane, goddamnit so is she!

• She functions on caffeine. Literally hates any coffee that isn't sweet enough to knock out a horse but will drink it anyway. If it's coffee, she'll have it, even if she's actively grimacing the whole time.

• Excellent poker face but cannot actually win at cards so she cheats. She learnt this from the pirates and only Jason and Gwen have ever caught her doing it.

• Plays the perfect roman leader but at least 50% of the time, her battle strategy is just "wing it with confidence". Somehow, it works.

• MANIC without sufficient sleep. She is visibly buzzing and her accent is getting more pronounced by the second. All the paperwork for the next month is done and several centurions are hovering nearby because when she crashes, it's gonna be lights out in a matter of seconds, no time to even lie down. Yes, she has hit her head before because of this.

• Her ADHD and autistic ass CANNOT handle an overwhelming workload. Manages it with careful balancing and lots of to do lists, but occasionally Thalia will find her sobbing angrily on the kitchen floor at midnight, covered in post its.

• No one knows where she went for like a month when she was fourteen?? No one. She just randomly disappeared and then basically gaslighted everyone by completely ignoring it when she got back. There are conspiracy theories in New Rome about it.

• Do NOT put her and Leo in a room alone for any length of time. Not even bc they would fight, once Reyna eventually gets to trusting Leo, their combined insane genius is a force to be reckoned with. They are making blueprints for a never-before-seen war machine and no one can even stop them bc it's all in Spanish.

• Hates Latin. Actually hates it. It's too similar to Spanish but with enough differences that she accidentally switches to spanish sometimes and it pisses her off.

I have more but this post is already too long lmao so im gonna stop there. Anyway, make Reyna more insane you cowards.

[elegantthingqueen]

Spoiler for 13x7 of The Rookie

So during the pool fight scene did anyone else just have a flash back to season one, when Captain Andersen also had a pool fight and it ended in her death. I was terrified the entire time waiting for Miles to get shot or hurt some other way. Problem is I have now grown to like Penn so if something happens to him before he can graduate the FTO program I'm gonna be so sad. Like poor baby already had his future career ruined once by an injury, I wouldn't be able to handle it if it happens again.

So in conclusion Miles Penn needs to be protected at all costs and must have a happy ending where he doesn't leave the show.

Also the kinda unrelated but I was overly happy when Nyla mentioned Aaron and the fact that this means that canonically the group has at least some level of contact with him so now I can just pretend that on weekends Aaron goes to spend time with them all and they are all a big happy family.