ezramatis

[ezramatis]

i was going through my books and i found the first volume of killing stalking that i bought years ago in secondary and it’s crazy that i couldn’t buy a lighter at the local corner store without an id that proved i was over 16 but the lady at the japanese café judged appropriate to sell this thing to a 13 year old who still slept with a plushie

(this last one is hypocritical i still sleep with a plushie)

but still

[ezramatis]

im currently reading she who became the sun and as a transmasc i relate to zhu so much. not wanting to be seen as a woman but still relating to female issues, and yet you can’t say that you do without putting yourself at risk. i love this book so much

[ezramatis]

i think part of the aromantic experience is not knowing if what you feel towards your friend is a crush or just that you’ve never been truly cared about before

[ezramatis]

i had a discussion with my friends the other day where one of them concluded that if i was a figure from the bible i would be the lamb because i am inoffensive. i do not know why you would think that. i bark. i bite. i am noting like the way you think i am. but then again, i do not know what i am when i am allowed to feel things and disagree with people without being put down so maybe i you know me better than i do.

[ezramatis]

once i stop doing everything to spite or please my parents and actually start living for myself and stop being scared of looking in the mirror and seeing my father or worse the remnants of someone who could’ve become my mother it’s over for you bitches

[ezramatis]

francesca by hozier is cardan after he rescued jude from the undersea, unknown/nth is him after he sent her in exile and i, carrion is him during the snake era argue with the wall

edit: talk is cardan throughout tcp and work song is him in tqon

[ezramatis]

what do you call a gifted kid burnout but it’s not actually a burnout. im still good. im just not the best anymore. no awards. no certificate. no honors. im not a model student anymore. im just a student.

[ezramatis]

i got a friend to read hell followed with us and got this in return <3

[ezramatis]

im reading aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe and this book is slowly breaking me into pieces with a hammer and a nail and im only halfway through

[ezramatis]

i realized i never shared these to tumblr

[ezramatis]

the trans realization that benji and silas are right, there’s nothing objectively wrong with my chest, it’s just that people automatically associate chest with girl. my body is perfect as it is, it’s how people see it that’s the problem

[ezramatis]

since im apparently known for associating fictional characters with crane wives songs at this point, let me just say:

yadriel is curses and teo is icarus

(it’s crazy how many fictional characters relate to curses)

edit: julian is the hand that feeds and aurelio is never love an anchor/allies or enemies

[ezramatis]

my friend asked how do you spell cemetery for an assignment and I’m reading cemetery boys so i just showed her the book. she read the title and went:

“cemetery boys- oh it’s gay.”

it’s a hard cover, i had left the dust jacket at home and she doesn’t know jack shit about this book. she only read the name.

[ezramatis]

being an artist and a writer is taking time off my day to draw two figures who are incredibly important to my fictional world’s history knowing they lived 700 years before my characters, that they’re mentioned twice and literally nobody alive knows even remotely what they looked like

[ezramatis]

Artists don’t forget to turn this on!!!

AI is shit!!!

[ezramatis]

is that a cosmo sheldrake reference??

[ezramatis]

it’s hard to prove stereotypes wrong when:

you’re ace and like garlic bread and cake

you’re autistic and you like pokemon

you’re aromantic and you feel like everything you planned for your future is crumbling under the fact that you’ll never find love and you’ll never get married and everyone around you will eventually find partners and you’ll be left alone with what? a cat? your books? and you’re just craving affection and love, even if it’s just platonic but it will always feel weird to others and eventually you’ll be an adult and everyone will be too busy to hang out with you and when you’ll die there will be no one to remember how you were in the comfort of your home when you thought no one was looking, only the vague and distant memory of the mask you put up when you met up with them once every 5 years and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it

you watch the life series and you listen to the crane wives