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[fanficmcgee]

Headcanon

Bakugo is extremely protective of his lady friends even tho he knows there more than capable of taking care of themselves.

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Me: I'm not beautiful

Mom: yes you are.

Me: no I'm no-

Mom: girl I'm bout to beat the beautiful in your ass if you don't stop saying that shit booi-

Me:

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"What? C'mon! Where I come from, saying she has nice tits is a compliment!"

The Queen's personal guard glared at me with all the heat of Hell itself, while her majesty, in all her large chested glory, looked on unimpressed. Atleast she didn't seem interested in killing me.

"Tell me, Traveler, where are you from, exactly? And anwser truthfully, or I will take my sheild up on his threat, wether I'm present or not."

I sighed and shuffled in my spot, tugging on the chains binding my wrists together behind my back. I had a feeling they wouldn't exactly believe me, and grumpy pants with the too-big weapon was gonna lop my head off no matter what I say.

"Well... I, uh... I'm from California? Well, technically, the future but a future California, I unno what the hell is considered California now but. Well. Yeah."

“If Her Holiness were not sitting in the room I would have cleaved your head from your shoulders.”

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Peter: Hey, Mr. Stark.

Tony: mm?

Peter: Mistew Stawk

Tony: huh?

Peter: Boss Man Stark

Tony: Yes?

Peter: Tooooony-

Tony: What

Peter: ...

Tony: ...

Peter: and I bugging you?

Tony: aaaand that's the reason you're adopted

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Richie: *goes to poke eddie's neck*

Eddie: *without even looking* I have a spoon and I will stab you

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Peter: Mr. Stark? I don't feel so good...

Tony: I told you running on two hours of sleep and ten cups of coffee would do that to you.

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Loki: uh... mother?

Frigga: *smiles* yes my child, come in.

Loki: I... I uhm, made this for you... * hands her a messy doodle of him her and thor *

Frigga: *holds it as if it is the most precious treasure* you, my dear son, are an artist in the making.

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Peter: Dammit Gamora, I said go right!

Gamora: and I went left.

Peter: But I specifically said 'go right.'

Gamora: ... but left.

Groot: I am Groot

Rocket: no, Groot, unless you have some McDonalds money, we ain't goin to McDonalds.

Groot: I am Groot.

Rocket: Yeah yeah, I hate the family too.

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When you're reading smut at 3 am and you're supposed to be asleep, but then you hear your parent walk past your bedroom

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Mary Jane: peter, who are you talking to?

 Peter: oh, MJ, uh- yeah- dad said hi

 Mary Jane: aw. tell Mr. Stark I said hi, too-

 Wade: *busts in from the bathroom in a towel*  Heeeeey petey pete pat- GINGER CHILD! what's up home gurl-

 Peter: Wade, what the hell-

 *screeching from the phone* THAT BASTARD IS BACK? CODE DEAD RED AVENGERS, CODE DEAD RED

 Peter: *goes red: DAD(Tony)

 *portal opens and out comes Strange, Stark, and Steve. Sam, Clint, Romanoff and Bucky climbs in from the window while Thor (carrying Banner) crashes in from the ceiling and Loki poofs in behind peter Vision and Wanda come in through the wall*

 Wade: *hides behind MJ and Peter* uh... avengers assembly already? Didn't we have a group powow not too long ago..?

 Stephen: yes, all too recent.

 Tony: Are you tryna make a move on our son?

 Wade: uh... well, like, yeah but like, he's hot. And he's my babe. And he's hot * leans over to peter* you're hot babe.

 Peter: you're not helping your case, Wade.

 Wade: what are they gonna do, kill me? *starts laughi-*

 A portal sucks Wade into some distant country.

 Peter: what the hell Dad(stephen)?

 Loki: it's for the best.

 --- in wakanda----

 T'challa: ...

 Wade: ...

 Shuri: ... why are you naked?

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Loki: *sits by himself, staring at a stary sky*

Gamora: *suddenly is sitting beside loki* what - ... who are you?

Loki: *looks at her* I'm of no importance... And you?

Gamora: ... *looks away. She pauses* i guess I'm nothing aswell...

Loki: ah... well, let us be nothings together.

The two children sit quietly and patiently, finding solace in each other's company.

And they wait.

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Peter: I might be the smallest of the Avengers, but there's no need to doubt that I'm strong.

Tony: He says while making the super soldier carry his ten ton of junk.

Peter: well, *shrugs* it was heavy.

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Stan: *comes home and sees Eddie on the porch* how long have you been out here?

Eddie: a while

Stan: why?

Eddie: there is a bug in my room. Richie wouldn't get it for me. I offered him a dollar, Stan. A dollar. The asshole still refused.

Stan: ...

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Characters as Convos I've heard #2

Stan: Dick

Richie: I prefer Richard, thanks

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Characters as Convos I've heard #1

Richie: Rip my clothes off of my body

Eddie: But why

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He said

Richie: Do u love me?

I tell him

Eddie: only partly, I only love my mom and my bed I'm sorry

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Ben: so uh... what are you guys doing again?

Bev: *looks to her left while adjusting her tinfoil hat* shall we tell him captain?

Georgie: aye... *turns seriously to Benjie and moves paper hat out of his face* we're doing a "teenage rebelling." Richie said I was old enough.

Ben: *stares at Bev, Richard, Edwardo, and Georgie* ...

Stan: *walks in* ... it's ten o'clock and you all class in the morning.

Ben: teenage rebellion. *takes a hat and sits*

Stan: jfc, none of you are even teenagers-

Bill: OOh- hey you guys started without me?

Mike: *walks in and sits in the circle* you coming Stan?

Stan: ... I live with literal children.

Georgie: nay, you live with sailors. Will ye join the crew?

Stan: ...

Stan: ...

Stan: fine.