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fionn-n-harry · 4 years ago

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One Night- Part 3 (Fionn Whitehead)

GUYSS thank you for being so patient for me and waiting so long, I loved writing this and I hope you guys are satisfied with the conclusion. This is a long one, and it most definitely has some mistakes which y’all can totally correct me on. hope y’all enjoy. Also tumblr removed my italics :((((

In which Y/N and Fionn explore their new relationship....

Warnings: Vomiting, oral sex, mentions of abuse, alcohol

Word Count: 17k

It's so easy for her to do it, Fionn thinks to himself. And it makes him scoff a little, a little too loud that he's afraid someone might have heard him. He clears his throat and takes a sip of his drink.

Y/N ends her conversation with the young man and they hug, the young man lifting Y/N to her tiptoes and rocking her side to side making her laugh. Fionn watches the scene unfold and his knuckles turn white from gripping his glass too hard.

He's never thought of himself as the jealous type but the alcohol in his system makes him hazier than usual. He hasn't seen her in person since they last kissed for the first time and Fionn has yet to properly address her tonight. As Y/N pulls away, her eyes suddenly lock with Fionn's and she tries to hold his intense gaze before she nervously finds herself turning away into the crowd again. Fionn looks down at his drink and watches it twirl in his glass, downing the last bit and setting his glass down on the counter shaking his head, mostly at himself, to set himself straight for making Y/N feel nervous under his eyes.

He would go apologize but he feels too nervous to do any of it now or look at her, and the liquid courage that once flooded his body was now absent.

Y/N watches Fionn make himself another drink, staring, aweingly (though she would make sure no one else would look at her stare awingly) and she finds herself in a conversation between a group of people that she is bored of.

Fionn, in a tipsy state, feels a pair of eyes on him as he mixes. He feels like he is making it all up until he looks up and see's Y/N staring at him, her eyes softer than usual, curious and shy, Fionn picks up on it all. Fionn lifts his hand and gives her the smallest stagnant wave and then tilts his head, motioning for her to come over without much thought, too into his mixing. Y/N's heart skips a beat and she looks around to make sure Fionn had been addressing her. She slowly pulls herself away from the group and finally finds herself approaching Fionn.

"Hi." Y/N says lowly as she slides up next to Fionn catching his attention.

Fionn looks over at Y/N and suddenly a huge smile appears on his face and an arm loops around her waist bringing her close into a hug while his other hand holds his drink against the counter.

"I missed you," Fionn utters as she brings her hands to rest against his chest as he pulls her in.

Her breath fans over his lips and he finds his eyes lingering from her eyes down to her lips and up again. Y/N nervously reaches for the collar of his shirt and smiles, watching her hands fiddle with the fabric and finally training her eyes to his once again.

“I missed you too.”

First real date sorta second date. Nothing to worry about. Just the two of them casually hanging out at Fionn's flat, Y/N thinks to herself.

The meet up was last minute, everything they do seems to be last minute. While Y/N and Fionn had been texting much more frequently and regularly, doing a few FaceTime calls to laugh about something together, Y/N, nor Fionn, could really tell what they were doing, if this was just extremely friendly, extremely flirtatious, or teetering the line of unspoken sexual tension from their attraction to each other.

Nonetheless, Fionn finds himself experimenting with the idea of getting closer to Y/N and when he’s back in the city he texts Y/N and jokingly asks her to come over... and then more casually suggesting she’s always welcome to come over... and then Fionn telling her he enjoys her company similar to their first “date,” and suddenly Y/N was checking her makeup in her phone camera.

She tried to liven up her appearance yet keep it as casual as possible yet Y/N begins to question whether her black halter top showed too much skin or her jeans were too casual for the occasion.

She texts Fionn that she’s outside and tugs at the fabric under her arm to provide relief to the feeling of being exposed.

Fionn is tired, he’s excited to see Y/N and quite frankly is glad he invited her because texting her and Face Timing her had him itching to have her close like the one night they had together, but he’s also really really tired.

Fionn didn’t really try much with his appearance. He tried to look presentable, and that he did well with, but he finds himself snuggling into a hoodie and taking a nap, completely frizzing up his hair into a mess. He comforts himself by looking in the mirror and telling his reflection his jeans make the look casual and presentable, but he knows he’s lying to himself and the bags under his eyes when he’s making coffee right when Y/N texts him that she’s outside.

“Y/Nnnnnnn,” Fionn slurs out her name as he swings the door open and juts his head out to smile at her.

“Fionnnnnnnn.” She drags out back.

Both unsure whether they should greet each other with a hug or just go inside, Fionn takes a moment to look at her outfit. Fionn can’t help but feel underdressed and look way too comfortable to be meeting a pretty friend.

“You were already out?” Fionn asks hanging his weight on the doorknob, yet to step aside to let Y/N in.

“Oh... yeah, was hanging out when you texted.” She’s lying because she can’t help but feel overdressed for a casual hangout with a friend when Fionn looks like he just woke up and she kinda wishes they would have FaceTimed instead so she wouldn’t have had to explain herself.

“Oh,” Fionn says, stepping aside to give her access into his home, “You look pretty.”

Y/N smiles shortly at his compliment and walks in before he can notice her blushing or her grin

become too wide.

“You want coffee?” Fionn asks, shutting the door behind her, “I didn’t realize how tired I’d be after that flight.”

Y/N shakes her head, “I’m okay, I think I’m a little too awake.” She admits, hoping through her honesty to make conversation, he won’t catch on to what she really means.

“Did you drink? You know I didn’t take you for the party type after you took care of me that one night.” Fionn says walking to the kitchen and flicking his head in that direction to motion for Y/N to follow.

Y/N chuckles as she situates herself into a high chair by his cozy little kitchen island and he goes to pour his coffee.

“Not today, ever since you picked me up, I’ve been hoping not to embarrass myself like that again. I usually never drink like that.”

Fionn takes a sip of his black coffee and slides it next to Y/N, taking a seat adjacent to her.

“You were embarrassed? Don't I enjoy helping those in need.” He says and Y/N scoffs, “Besides you said a lot of nice things anyway.”

It’s silent for a couple of seconds as Fionn watches his coffee shake in his mug as he thinks back to the night where he had picked Y/N up after a sudden phone call in the middle of the night, where she’d said nice things to him, and thanked him for helping her out. It reminds him of the first night they met and how she helped him out, preventing him from completely vomiting on everyone and calming him down and it just makes him think about Y/N and everything he knows about her , though limited, up to this point.

“Are you always that nice?” Fionn asks.

Y/N raises an eyebrow and has the slightest smile on her face, “What do you mean?”

Fionn goes in for another sip, “I mean I think, well I guess, from all the times I’ve spoken to you that you like to help others out and you make sure they don’t feel weird or crazy but you kinda just make everyone comfortable, but I don’t know you too too well when I think about it.”

He shuts himself up by taking another sip and looking around the room avoiding her gaze.

Y/N rests her elbow on the island and rests her head in her hand, “That’s like the coolest thing anyone has ever said to me.” She shyly smiles and stares at the nails on her other hand, “Don’t like making people feel like they did something wrong for something so normal.”

“Why not? I’m sure some things are meant for people to take accountability for.” Fionn questions, digging into the girl in front of him a little more.

Y/N ponders answering, her eyes flirting up to his and becoming nervous under his gaze and going back down to her nails.

“Because someone used to do it to me.” She confesses, and for a second Fionn sees her float off somewhere else before she is straightening herself out with a smile and turning her body towards him, “You are also very nice Fionn.”

He turns his body towards Y/N grazing her knees as he faces her, “Thanks but I think you win.”

And then Y/N’s shoes are discarded near the front door, and she’s sitting next to Fionn on his couch listening to him talk about when he first met Gaby because he was close friends with her brother and she was doing an immense amount of shots and beating his entire friend group in a drinking game.

Y/N laughs at his story and brings her knees toward her chest as she rests her head against the couch cushion to listen to Fionn talk. She realizes she could listen to him talk for ages and ages and the way his hair bounces ever so slightly when he adjusts himself and the way his neck is so empty and inviting-

Y/N and Fionn had drunk. Alcohol always finds its way into their setting, and they talked about it as Fionn pulled out some wine, but Y/N hadn’t expected herself to get a little tipsy and find herself fueled by confidence.

Fionn finishes his story and suddenly feels hot and restricted by his sweater, telling himself and Y/N out loud, and lifting it off his head in one swift motion, Y/N catching a glimpse of his V-line and smiling to herself in her tipsy state.

Once he discards his sweater on his lap, with hazy eyes in a similar tipsy state and flushing cheeks, he looks over at Y/N who is leaning into the couch with her eyes trained on Fionn, a smile on her face.

“Why are you looking at me like that huh?” He questions playfully reaching out to tug at her sock.

Y/N finds herself laughing in an outbreak and covering her face with her hands. Fionn laughs with her, why he doesn’t know.

“What? Tell me.” He laughs along, reaching for her forearms to separate her hands from her face. She leans forward and falls into the crook of his neck with her arms pressed between their bodies, catching Fionn off guard as she continues to chuckle lightly.

Fionn's hands hover over her body, closer to himself than to her, unsure of what to do but still playing along and nudging her head that’s tucked in his neck.

“What? Is it something I said? Tell me, tell me.” He smiles.

Y/N, in her confident state between thinking straight and starting not to think at all, pulls back to free her arms and one of her arms slides from her side up to his neck, her thumb grazing his cheek, while her other hand finds itself between his waist and under his arm. The position is much more sensual and is a leap from the atmosphere earlier, where everything was so shy.

Her actions catch him off guard and his laugh softens as he realizes just how close they actually are.

“You gonna tell me Y/N?” He whispers into her ear.

She breathes out and her breath fans his neck, making Fionn shudder.

“You gonna touch me Fionn?” She whispers back, the hand on his torso comfortingly rubbing up and down.

Fionn realizes his hands have been by his side this whole time and he brings them up to touch her back and graze a hand down her spine that hadn’t been covered by the fabric from her shirt. He feels her body squirm under his touch.

“Like that?”

Fionn's own tipsy state had made him confident enough to even touch her.

And then there’s a kiss on his neck and Fionn's grasp on her waist tightens ever so slightly to ensure he doesn’t hurt her and his eyes flutter closed. Another kiss, and another kiss and the hand on his cheek finds its way to his hair and tugs his head back gently giving Y/N access to the underside of his jaw.

Y/N hears the slightest groan that excites her and she moves from his jaw, to his cheek, to the corner of his mouth, stopping before reaching his lips and pulling back slightly, eyes gazing at his expression and tilting his head toward her face with the hand placed in his hair until their foreheads are barely touching.

Feeling her close, Fionn opens his eyes to her curious and soft ones as she smiles patiently. Fionn uses one hand to trace her spine while the other pushes hair behind her ear and cups her cheek.

“You’re so pretty.” He whispers, somewhat disconnected to realize what he’s actually saying, “Someone should tell you nice things too.” His eyes flicker between her eyes and her lips as he speaks.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, yeah?”

Y/N’s hand behind his head falls to his chest as Y/N looks away from his gaze and down at the hand between them.

“Why’d you pick me up when I asked you?”

The question catches him off guard because it’s so odd in the moment but he answers.

“Because I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

“Were you doing it because I helped you first?”

“Somewhat yeah.” He answers, swiping his thumb back and forth along her cheek.

“What if I hadn’t helped you?”

Fionn wants to raise an eyebrow at her question as he only finds one real answer, “Then I wouldn’t have known you.”

She nods out an “mmm” against his hand.

“I like the way you sound when you’re not in my phone.” She smiles.

“Me too.”

The hand that rests on Fionn's waist comes up to his shoulder. “Am I too close?” She asks him timidly looking at his lips then shyly back at his eyes

“No you’re okay,” He confirms, “We don’t have to do anything, we can just be close.”

Y/N scrunches up her nose, “And do what?”

“We just shouldn’t drink anymore, don’t want any of us to regret anything.” Fionn tells her moving the hand on her spine to the other side of her cheek that is not occupied by his hand. Able to position her head, he gently brings her forehead to his lips causing her to giggle as he begins to repeat her previous actions.

Kissing her forehead, then her temple, down to her cheek and to her jaw, he nudges her jawline for permission and she raises her head, giving Fionn sight of her neck where he kisses her. Fionn’s kisses on her neck are slow and circle around and near her ear. He presses another kiss below her ear and sucks on the skin and Y/N squeezes his shoulder enjoying the sensation, Fionn making note to himself. Closer to Y/N’s jaw, he continues kissing and then sucking skin, this time jutting his tongue out to stimulate the area and he feels Y/N’s hold on the collar of his shirt tightens.

“Leave a mark.” Y/N whispers to him, eyes closed and a smile playing on her lips.

Fionn pulls back, coming back to a space closer to soberness than tipsiness, “Are- Are you sure?”

“Yeah. If you want to.” She says circling her arms around his neck.

Fionn feels himself become hard and thanks god that she didn’t decide to straddle him even though she practically sits halfway in his lap.

Fionn tilts her head to the side and her neck, a blank and inviting canvas, strips Fionn of his reasoning to pull away and stop and he peppers a light kisses where he can before sucking on an area in the middle of her neck, tongue wavering back and forth on her skin until Y/N pants quietly. He moves his hands back to her waist, gripping her sides securely yet softly, still connected to her neck and leans her back into the couch until he is hovering over her, Y/N between his hips as she keeps him in place with his arms. He pulls his lips back engendering a small smack from his lips and looks at a dazed Y/N, moving hair out of her face as she smiles and becomes giggly when she opens her eyes to see him smiling back at her.

“How is it?” She asks him.

Fionn looks at the purple bruise he has just left on her neck using one hand to trace it, “It’s there.”

She nods as he strokes her neck a little more, “Cool.”

Fionn shakes his head and chuckles leaning down towards her face and pressing a kiss on the corner of her mouth before pulling away from her hold completely, standing up and leaving her on the couch with arms on her stomach.

She starts to laugh again like earlier and Fionn smiles at her suspiciously again.

“Oh my god, what now?” He laughs with her because of her own laughs.

“You’re a little hard.”

Fionn notices her eyes at his crotch and he immediately reaches for a pillow from the couch and throws it at her making her squeal.

“Okay maybe you’re not that nice.” He says grinning and turning away to the kitchen a little embarrassed.

Y/N sits up and calms her laughter, “Hey it’s okay, I’m just playing around.”

He shoots her a look from the kitchen as he grabs himself and Y/N a bottle of water, “Yeah you should be when you were kissing up all over my neck.”

Her cheeks turn pink and she covers her cheeks with her hands falling back into the couch embarrassed herself, “We’re even.”

Fionn comes back to her with a bottle of water for himself and lays one on Y/N’s stomach.

“Drink it.”

She looks down at her stomach and sits up once again to crack it open, “Yes sir.”

Fionn raises an eyebrow at her glaring as he finds himself still getting a tad bit aroused. Y/N closes her bottle and seeing Fionn’s fidgeting movements, she places her hand to Fionn's stomach and drags it down to the belt of his jeans.

“Do I?” She says quietly and shyly and the same girl Fionn saw a minute ago was no longer the playful Y/N from before. She was quiet and too rigid to move.

“What?”

Do I?

“Do I need to fix it?” She reiterates her fingers shaking as they clutch his waistband, her eyes staring at the button of his jeans, anything but lustfully.

Fionn takes his hand in her own, pulling it away from his body, “You- you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, you know that right?”

Y/N pulls her hand out of his own and sets her feet back on his wood floor, as she shifts on the couch again and takes another sip, ignoring his words and holding herself.

“I’m cold.” Y/N mutters and she rubs her exposed arms up and down.

Fionn is confused by her change in demeanor, her want to be close, her questions, the look of obligation she felt to pleasure him, then the sudden withdrawal from him entirely. He’s not mad, anything but, he’s just unsure of how he’s supposed to feel. Maybe it’s the alcohol he tells himself.

Fionn reaches for his hoodie on the couch and hands it to Y/N who puts it on quickly.

Y/N’s unsure of what caused her to feel exposed and vulnerable suddenly. She’s embarrassed now when she starts to think about how she asked Fionn to leave a hickey on her neck in the heat of a moment when they hadn’t even kissed yet, and she’s embarrassed by the rush she feels to please him so he doesn’t get bored and so that he stays engaged with her.

Y/N credits her last relationship, her crummy and terrible ex, to needing to feel validated through Fionn validating her actions. But she’s coming to realize that Fionn is a completely different person, and she doesn’t have to dwell on past fears with him. He’s an entirely different experience.

“You okay?” Fionn asks taking a seat next to her again.

Y/N nods and pulls away from her thoughts. What once felt like a juvenile crush between two school kids scared to talk to their crush now felt like a real dynamic between two adults who could do whatever they want and say whatever they want. Y/N see’s that she’s in her home, wearing his sweater, hickey of his doing on her neck, no need to define what is going on between them, and it draws her to look at Fionn.

“I’m good. You okay?”

Fionn nods and smiles at her, “All good. You want to watch a movie?”

Y/N leaves Fionn that night with a big hug and his sweater on her body.

Fionn takes another trip and Y/N doesn’t get to see him for a little while but they occasionally text each other and Y/N musters up the courage to ask him to video call her when she’s alone and he’s laying in his hotel room.

“I didn’t think I’d be so badly jet lagged.”

“That’s what happens when you’re famous.”

Fionn rolls his eyes, “Don’t say that.”

Y/N laughs, “Well it’s a little true isn’t it? Not everyone gets to be in movie with-”

Fionn shushes her before she can continue, “I’m just a regular person, don’t see me any other way.” He tells Y/N over the phone as he grabs a pillow and positions it under his head, “Want to feel normal to you.”

Y/N gets butterflies in her stomach and rests her head on a pillow and moves her laptop to the side to look seemingly unaffected by his words.

Her hair is sprawled out on her pillows and Fionn catches sight of the faintest dusty purple and rose bruise on her neck from the glow of her laptop screen as he struggles to keep his eyes open.

“Mmm hickeys’ pretty much gone.” Fionn notes out loud.

Y/N touches her neck and blushes, “Oh. Yeah.”

Fionn smiles at the thought of that day.

“Maybe when I come back I can give you another one.” He mutters into his pillow, slightly embarrassed, slightly confident, and extremely tired.

Y/N chuckles, “Yeah maybe I’ll let you give me another one. When do you come back?”

Fionn is half asleep on the other end of the line and it takes him a second to answer, “Maybe, in a week or two, you’ll be the first to know.”

“Mmm okay, so in a week or two.”

Fionn shakes his head against his pillow at her playful response and finds himself falling asleep again, but he knows how to ignore it by focusing on Y/N’s voice.

“So, how was your day Y/N?”

Y/N is at another house party two weeks later after her phone call with Fionn, a party that Gaby found through her brother. And while Y/N wasn’t exactly in the party mood, Gaby had insisted she tag along to visit some old friends who told her they’d be attending.

Gaby pours herself a drink before tugging Y/N through the party. Y/N swears she sees a face that makes her sick to her stomach dancing next to a group of girls. Y/N shakes the idea, looking back and seeing nothing as Gabby brings her to a patio with a group of familiar faces. Y/N drowns herself out of what she thought she just saw and enjoys her conversation with her old friends. She drinks a little bit out of Gaby’s cup to calm herself down but doesn’t allow herself to drink anymore or grab a cup for herself.

She feels like she should stay alert tonight, a feeling in her gut tells her to stay sober, to stay present. Especially when Y/N notices Gaby’s laugh begins to drag and Y/N rubs her back, adding sensation to her friend's drunkenness and also to ease her own worry. Y/N feels her blood rushing and is thankful to see Gaby’s brother make his way into the group and take a seat next to Gaby after he greets everyone ensuring that he would take care of her if she went haywire, to which Gaby elbows his rib.

“Jesus Christ Gaby.” Her brother says, shaking his head and looking at Y/N , “Can you grab her some water?”

Y/N nods, heading inside when her phone begins to ring.

“Fionnnnn.” Y/N smiles to herself at the surprise call.

“Y/Nnnnn.” He answers back, “Guess who’s back?”

Y/N’s smile turns into a toothy grin, “Oh really? When you’d get back?”

“Couple hours ago, would’ve told you then but I needed to settle in.” Fionn hears a couple of people on the other line and feels like he may have interrupted Y/N, yelling at himself internally for calling randomly instead of texting. In his defense, he hadn’t spoken to her in a while, and missed hearing her. But now he feels selfish for expecting her to be available when he craves to have a piece of her, “Sorry, I should have texted, is this a bad time?”

Y/N walks into the kitchen where the noise dies down and pulls a bottle of water out of the fridge, “Not really, at a house party Gaby brought me too.” She says, “You can come if you want, think I saw Tom earlier in the yard.”

Fionn's lips press into a thin line, “You sure?”

Y/N leans against the counter to continue her conversation before making her way back, “I mean if you want to come feel free, unless you’re too tired.” Fionn is silent on his end and Y/N thinks she’s lost him, “Hello?”

“Do you want me to come?” He asks her.

Fionn knows realistically that he’d stick by her side most of the night, wanting to be near her again, rather than two people who know each other and go have fun on their own. He wants her to feel comfortable with him being around her world of fun.

“Well yeah, haven’t seen you in a while.... it’s nice when you’re around.” Y/N blushes at her confession and holds the cold bottle to her neck to cool down the heat that rushes to her ears.

Fionn swears he almost chokes as he comes to terms with the fact that he really really really likes Y/N and when she’s honest about the way she feels.

“Send me the address.”

Y/N waits for Fionn as Gaby’s brother holds water to Gaby’s mouth and Gaby protest’s, pushing over her plate of food in the process. Inside there’s a loud collective of laughter as the host begins to say a couple of things they get people riled up and the group looks inside and between the mess on the patio.

“Go inside guys.” Y/N says, “I’ll clean it up really fast, have fun.”

The group thanks Y/N and heads inside, as Gaby tells her how much she loves her and Y/N rolls her eyes playfully, reaching for a lone plastic bag and using a paper plate to scoop the food into a pile as she crouches down and her friends disappear.

“I knew I saw you.”

Y/N freezes, the voice too incredibly familiar and distasteful. Y/N raises her head to find a hand outstretched to her, and she lowers her head again and continues to sweep the food into the bag.

“I thought we were on good terms?”

Y/N scoffs as she scrapes the remaining specs into the bag, “Who told you that?”

She rises and avoids his gaze as she throws the plate into the bag and ties it into a knot.

“You literally danced with me at the club...?” He sounds confused and Y/N feels her anger settle in her arms as she has the urge to smack him.

“You mean when you forced me to dance with you? When I was drunk and you forced me to grab onto you and you just kissed me?” Y/N walks past him to a small waste bin and tosses the bag in the garbage.

Y/N remembers the night she called Fionn, the night where she was an absolute mess and had ran out of the club because her ex-boyfriend had forced her to stay close and touched her like everything was normal, controlling her to feel like she needed to be complacent with him. The night had brought a wave of old resentment she had for him and the way he treated her and she remembers how she had ran out when he looked the other way and called the first number in her head when Fionn’s face flashed in her mind in her drunken state.

“I was just taking care of you.” He says convincingly, and Y/N might have believed it if they were together but she knew better.

He comes close and she can feel him against her back and she shakes her head and pushes him away with her shoulder, “That’s what it always is right? You’re always taking care of me, you always know where I am, you always know when to make me feel silly when I need you, you always know when I’m supposed to get down on my knees. That’s what it is isn’t it? It’s always for my good, right?” Y/N turns around and looks straight into his tense expression, “It’s always, you know what I need so I should just do what you say. And you’re doing it again right now because I’m not running back to you... You know exactly what you’re doing.”

Y/N waits for him to say something and he bites his cheek looking away from her. “Why are you fucking quiet when I stand up to you? Had so much to say before...”

“Who gave you that?” He says, eyeing her neck and brushing the hair away, the last remnants of her hickey barely visible, “Is it the guy who picked you up that night?”

Y/N feels disgusted knowing he watched them together, that Fionn has been exposed to him. She pushes him away with her hand and dismisses him walking back into the house finally realizing how shaky her arms and legs are as she pushes past a sea of people, moving through the house, and out the front door.

“When you’re ready to get it together and come back again, know my bed is ready for you.” He jokes as his hand grips the back of her neck and turns her around to pull him into her. His touch is so aggressive compared to Fionn’s and she wants to throw up all over this joke of a man. Y/N finds a knot forming in her throat because he’s so convinced she’d crawl back to his cold bed and superficial love like a child.

“I’m not coming back,” she says weakly, twisting her face away from him, “I don’t ever want to see you again, I’m so much happier when you’re not around.”

And his face drops as he realizes Y/N isn’t as easy to control as she was a year ago. Y/N breaks free shaking him away and she feels her phone ring in her pocket and she quickly answers.

“Yeah?”

“Hey what’s the house number again- oh I see you.” Fionn says and Y/N looks up the street to see his car approaching the house.

Y/N feels her ex standing in the lawn behind her burning holes into her back, but as Fionn’s car nears, she finds it easier to ignore. She pulls at the car door, silently asking him to unlock it, and when he does, she hops into the passenger seat.

“Can we go somewhere else? I don’t wanna be here anymore.” She tells him buckling on her seat belt.

Fionn watches someone stare at them before they turn and head back inside and Fionn nods at her request.

“Oh yeah of course. Everything okay?” Fionn says, swinging his eyes back to Y/N.

She’s quiet and clasps her hands together between her knees, biting the skin near her lips. And when she looks at him, it’s a silent plea for him not to ask, not to stress her out, and to just drive.

Fionn reaches for her clasped hands and slips his hand between the two. Y/N welcomes his hand and intertwines their fingers with one hand bringing it toward the center console of the car to make it easier for him. Her other hand grabs onto his wrist.

Fionn smiles at her sadly and begins to drive off.

The ride is silent and Y/N is grateful because she isn’t ready to open up and yet she can also find comfort in his touch.

Fionn takes her to his place and when they get out of the car to walk inside, his hand finds hers again, tugging her against his side as he opens the door.

“Sorry for the mess I didn’t clean much before I left.” Fionn tells her turning his body into hers.

“It’s okay.” She whispers as he kicks the door back with his heel, “Just glad to be here.”

Fionn smiles and pokes her cheek, “Stop that.”

“Stop what?”

“Stop buttering me up.” He says pulling her toward the couch and sitting her down.

“I’m not buttering you up, I'm being honest.” She smiles back tugging on his wrist to tumble him into her body to fall on her.

He laughs and moves his body off to the side as Y/N let’s go of his hand and tackles his body into the couch.

“You’re back.” She tells herself out loud as she nestles into his chest.

She knows she’s being a little clingy but she’s happy to see him and just wants to be present with Fionn and forget everything from before.

“I remember we were so shy to touch each other.” He says brushing the falling hair out of her face.

“Well I’m a lot more comfortable with you now.” She mumbles into his shirt, shutting her eyes and dozing off ever so slightly as Fionn watches.

“You wanna sleep over?”

Y/N raises her head to look at him properly, “I- I don’t want to over step.” She carefully pulls her weight back and sits on the couch properly as Fionn swings his legs over the edge of the couch to straighten himself up.

“Well, you can if you want to. Don’t expect you to sleep in the same bed as me or to do anything but just know you’re welcome to tonight.” Fionn states before heading to the kitchen and making himself coffee.

Y/N has to remind herself that this is Fionn and not her ex and while she should always be cautious, Fionn isn’t going to force her to do anything or purposely make her uncomfortable to test the waters. For crying out loud it’s the drunk, doesn’t dance Fionn who she met the first night. Y/N could cry out from relief to know that maybe she actually met someone who cares about her feelings and what she wants and how slow she wants to go or how fast she wants to go and that it isn’t just about him but it’s about them.

Y/N doesn’t realize that her positive thoughts are intertwined with her negative ones that bring up countless bad experiences that make her sick to her stomach and have her standing up and running to his bathroom and belching into the toilet. Her body physically rejects every idea of her past relationship and wants to rid herself of every part of it, but she can’t scratch it off or vomit her insides out; rather she just has to accept it, maybe even as he once always said, “get over it.”

And as she flushes the toilet and pulls herself against the wall, her spiraling thoughts and the flashes of her late night calls with Fionn and all the times they’ve been together has her wondering if she is even completely and truly ready to be in a relationship with him if she has to constantly reevaluate every instance.

Y/N is angry that she has to even think like that. That someone perfect is right in front of her and that she has doubts and might even have to wait to tell him all that’s she's feeling because someone decided to play with her for years and has resurrected all her hidden worries because she saw them tonight.

She feels two arms circling around the front of her waist and kissing her cheek as they pick her up off the ground and to the kitchen, into a stool. She barely pays attention to what he says but he puts a cup of tea in front of her, hand on her back, telling her to drink it to feel better before deserting her side again.

Y/N isn’t sure how her phone has ended up on the counter but as she takes a sip of her tea she’s debating ordering an uber to take her home, because she can’t really think straight.

Fionn comes back to her with a sweater, slotting her arms through before standing by her side.

“You’re shaking.” Fionn tells her before looking down at the phone in her hand hovering over the confirm uber button, “You want to leave?”

Y/N shrugs, unable to really answer.

“I can take you home if you want. If not then at least let me pay for your cab.” Fionn tells her quietly worried about her changed manner.

She doesn’t answer yet, instead drops her phone on the counter and takes another sip, letting Fionn watch her before she sets her tea down and reaches for the belt loop of his pants to bring him closer to her.

“Why do you treat me so well?” She whispers, the top of her head grazing beneath his chin, “If you want me to do something tell me.”

A frown begins to grow on Fionn's face and he brings a hand to thread through the roots of Y/N’s hair, “I don’t want anything.”

He uses both his hands to hold Y/N’s face and lifts it up to look at him, her eyes following.

“Just want to be around you is all.” Fionn says nervously, “I really like you, you know.”

Y/N carefully grips the front of his shirt, pulls Fionn even closer and Fionn leans down tilting her head towards his lips.

Fionn looks into her eyes then down at her lips,“Can I kiss you?”

And Y/N tugs him towards her lips to crash into his. Their lips follow each other in a slow rhythm as Y/N fists the front of his shirt desperately to bring him closer, kiss him deeper as she transfers her warm lips to his cold ones. Fionn’s tongue escapes his mouth to swipe her bottom lip and Y/N opens her mouth to let his tongue meet her own. Sloppily Fionn begins to pull away for air, but Y/N brings him in for one last long and slow kiss that has Fionn run on hand into her hair to lock her in place.

Y/N pulls back and looks at the smile toying on Fionn’s face that soon finds a home on her own.

Fionn is breathless, more than he likes to admit, figuratively, that he has just kissed the girl that has been on his mind almost everyday and that he hopes he can find an excuse to text or call. Having her close, feeling her as a part of himself, has Fionn dropping his head into her neck and circling his arms around his waist making Y/N chuckle.

“Your lips taste sweet.” He tells her in her neck as Y/N rests her arms over his shoulders to play with her fingers.

“It’s your tea.”

Fionn and Y/N stay in that position for a while, relishing in the comfort of each other’s touch free from any awkwardness.

“I really like you too.” Y/N says tiredly, eyes half shut on Fionn’s shoulder.

“Best news I’ve heard all week.”

Y/N chuckles as she gently pushes Fionn back and away from her, for her to meet his own tired expression, eyes fluttering open.

“Were you falling asleep?”

Fionn nods his head and reaches to take a sip of her tea, downing the rest of it before looking back at her.

“You can sleep here in my room if you decide to stay, or I can take you home.” Fionn tells her leaning forward with a surprise kiss for her, “What do you wanna do?”

Y/N decides whether or not she should have this conversation with him now, whether she should tell him her doubts about giving herself to him in intimate ways like she wants to without feeling like she has to, but they’re both tired so she settles for Fionn’s room and being under his sheets as she convinces him to stay and hold her hand and keep her close.

And when she wakes up in the morning she’s kissing Fionn’s temple and listening to his babbling and groggy protests, too tired to realize what is going on when she takes a cab home.

Y/N would like to think that her and Fionn are just fine a week later, even though she purposefully has been letting his texts sit longer than usual and doesn’t answer his texts right away. She wants to want to be ready to be with him without having any doubts, without confusing him, and without comparing him to the past.

Fionn asks her to hang out, swing by his place, grab dinner, do anything, and Y/N is always busy, to his knowledge, and she isn’t lying, but she purposefully makes plans last minute to avoid having to meet Fionn.

It’s another late night and Y/N is about to head to bed after she gets in her sweats but Fionn texts her asking if she was up for him to give her a call and Y/N agrees because she thinks the least she could do would be to answer his call.

“Fionnnnn.”

“Hey Y/N,” He sounds groggy and worse for wear from her side and he lacks his usual enthusiasm.

“Everything okay? You sound weird.” She notes as she peels back her sheets.

“I’m so jetlagged, I’m in another country right now. I can’t even sleep.”

Y/N raises her eyebrows, “You’re in another country? Wait since when?”

“Since three days ago.” He answers bluntly.

Y/N shuffles into her blankets, “Oh really? I don’t even remember you telling me, my bad.”

The line is silent and she thinks maybe he’s fallen asleep but he finally shuffles on his end, “I didn’t tell you.”

And Y/N is caught off guard by the revelation when Fionn has usually told her excitedly about the places he was headed “Oh... why... not?”

Fionn fishes for melatonin in his bag, kicking it away frustratedly when he can’t find any.

“You’ve been busy, didn’t want to distract you.” He says, his tone filled with irritation as he unzips his suitcase.

“Oh... are you mad?”

Fionn hears her question, but he doesn’t really hear her question.

“What would I be mad about?” He says dropping to the ground to pull out his clothes messily to scan the bottom.

“Are you mad at ...me?” Y/N asks nervously, thinking he’s caught on to her avoiding him,

Fionn quirks an eyebrow at her question and sits back on the floor pressing his phone to his ear, “No? Why would I be mad at you?”

Honestly, Fionn isn’t certain why he called Y/N, he’s been on edge, stressed and restless all day and all he wants to do is calm down, and Y/N usually helps him to, but today is different and today it’s different and he can’t help but feel irritated with every way his day has been going. And truthfully he notices Y/N isn’t around as much, and briefly imagined that she may have been ignoring him, but he’s been so swamped in work and stress that he doesn’t give himself the time to entertain the idea.

“I don’t know,” She lies when she could give a few reasons, “You just sound a little mad.”

Fionn chuckles catching on to what she’s getting at, “No I’m not mad at you. Even if you had been ignoring me I want you to know that I’m always going to give you space if you need it,” he admits, beginning to slouch forward to search his bag again.

Y/N hums contently at his words, wondering how he can read through her so clearly and rolls over in bed, “Oh... thank you Fionn.”

And then it’s silent again as Fionn checks his luggage pockets and finds his melatonin, shaking the bottle into his hand and holding the gummy that comes out between his index finger.

“Everything okay with you then Y/N?”

He moves the gummy into his palm and holds it close to his abdomen waiting for Y/N to respond.

“I’m okay... I wanted to talk to you about something actually if you don’t mind.” She sighs as she presses his phone closer to her ear.

Fionn quickly and dryly chews his melatonin to answer, “‘Course, what is it?”

Y/N props her pillow behind her head contemplating to start her sentence. She wants to be honest with Fionn, and about her worries, and while she slightly worries that Fionn may not even be thinking of the idea of their relationship, she rather get it out the way now than feel like she needs to completely disconnect herself from him because she can only compare him to her experiences at the hand of another person.

"Um, well, I like you-"

"I'm glad-"

"And I’m pretty sure that you like me too-"

"I do-"

Y/N blushes and shakes her head, "so I just wanted you to know that, if I ever, well, seem weird or question you, that it's nothing personal I just, uh..." Y/N tries to think of the right words to complete her sentence, "I just have a hard time believing people's intentions."

“Okay, yeah...thanks for letting me know.” Fionn rises to plop himself back on the hotel bed and cradles the melatonin bottle on his stomach, eyes fluttering, “Is this about the guy on the lawn?"

Y/N's eyes widen, not ready to tell the story, not expecting for Fionn to put pieces she thought were obscure together so quickly, "What?"

Fionn begins to feel fatigued, rolling to his side, "Yeah, he looked familiar. I think I remember him from the night I picked you up from the club, when I drove away he was looking into the car... and then I saw him when I picked you up recently and he looked the same. I think. Are we talking about the same thing?" His eyes begin to shut, "Sorry are we thinking of the same thing?"

Y/N's lips press into a thin line. To keep them separate was all she wanted, that she could exist with Fionn without Fionn knowing the outside influence that bothers her when she is with him. Now she feels like their relationship would have an imaginary ex of her's seated between them, one that Fionn would have to make space for between himself and her. Y/N's stomach bubbles with anxiety, "I think Gaby is calling me, I have to let you go." She blurts out.

Fionn digs her head into his pillow, "Mhmm. I don't think I can stay awake if you're not talking. Talk to you tomorrow then yeah?"

"Okay, bye."

"Sleep well-"

Y/N has hung up, thrown her phone to the side, and rolls in her bed, head stuffed in pillows, lulling herself to sleep and free of worry because of the lack of oxygen.

And when Fionn texts her the next day asking if she wants to finish their conversation, she doesn't answer. Fionn follows up with his lone text, telling her when he's headed back when he finds out, but she doesn't answer that either. In fact, she never answers, and two weeks go by, and she hasn't made any sort of communication with Fionn. Fionn is terribly confused, and it preoccupies his thoughts his entire trip, but he doesn't want to overstep her boundaries (that he realizes are also his but more fear and nerve based) so he lets it be until he's back home. And when he tells her he's back, a week later, he finds his texts are still abandoned. As the month mark of his unanswered texts approaches, Fionn finds himself missing her presence, virtually and actually. He convinces himself he may have been becoming clingy and that the three weeks that had passed were perfectly reasonable. Yet, he starts to worry, just wanting to make sure Y/N is okay, and he messages Gaby... who tells him that Y/N had been alive and well, and oddly around.

She hasn't texted you? Ugh she's such a bitch sorry

Fionn blicks at Gaby's message unsure of her tone and tells her that he just wanted to check up, and to leave it at that. He tells himself he doesn't need or deserve an explanation and if Y/N didn't want to speak to him, he wouldn't force her to want him back. But when he's showering, the warm water reminds him of the sudden heat rush he felt that night on the sofa with Y/N, when they were talking, when he kissed her neck, their calls, and Y/N telling him that she likes him back.

So where did he go wrong? The question kills Fionn and makes him question if he was good enough for her to begin with. He could imagine a future with Y/N, whether they took their relationship to an intimate level or stayed friends. He appreciated her for who she was and how warm she could be. Fionn shudders, the bed colder than he expects after his shower. While they hadn't known each other for the longest time, nor explored their identities with each other or their pasts, he absolutely misses their emotional connection, and he feels like a kid yearning to be wanted again. He starts thinking too much again. Fionn hates when his thoughts race faster than his heartbeat and he can't catch a break, and his hand gravitates towards his melatonin, ready to push him to sleep.

Placed next to his melatonin is his ringing cell, a call from Tom makes Fionn shift the place of his hand.

"COME TO BARRY'S YOU FUCKER."

Fionn's friends progressively begin to annoy him more than he wants, and he's already in a shitty mood, feeling terribly insecure in his clothing, in his presence, and he wishes he stayed home rather than wrongfully believing this would prove any type of distraction. He heads to the kitchen where he is met with a plethora of liquor that he can't decide from. He recklessly mixes some of them together in one cup, having the sudden urge to drink more than he knows he can handle. It doesn't taste very good, but Fionn knows it will get him tipsy (or drunk) faster so that he can move on and begin to enjoy himself. He stands against the wall as his friends harass the DJ to play a dumb song, yet he isn't as irritated anymore, feeling the drink seep into his system.

"Y/N, I fucking hate you," Gaby tells Y/N, punching her arm much harder than Y/N expected as she gets into Gaby's car.

"Shit Gaby, what was that about?" Y/N rubs her arm weirded out by Gaby's flared nostrils and raised eyebrows.

"What was that about," Gaby mocks, "You ghosted Fionn you bitch... put your seatbelt on."

Y/N stays silent, prepared for Gaby to lecture her, and Y/N might even cry because she already feels like a shitty person for what she is doing. And she knows she is, but she would rather tell herself than have someone else tell her. Y/N was going through a lot of emotions, to be honest, Fionn as a romantic partner reminded her of what they could be, happy, healthy, and with good and solid boundaries. But she also has this looming idea that hasn't left her for a year, that in her next relationship, she could be used, disrespected, and hurt. It's not that she didn't want to talk to Fionn, she just didn't want to think anymore, and she ran away from her problems, telling herself she'll text him when she's calmed down. Yet she never texted him, nor explained anything to him, and now she's scared to text him, knowing she's waited too long, thinking he may have already dismissed her and let her be. In reality, she knows Fionn is patient and may have been waiting for her, giving her the space he told her he would give her. But the time where she grabbed her phone and told him how much she missed him hadn't come, and now that she feels it has, she’s a couple weeks too late.

"I'm not going to attack you for it. I know how things like this scare you because of him. But could you just shoot him a text or something?" Gaby grips the steering wheel as she begins to drive, "Fionn texted me, wanting to make sure you were okay."

Y/N tears up, throwing her head back into the seat, as she feels an overwhelming sense of guilt, finally truly realizing how he must feel.

"I'll text him soon, I promise." Y/N whispers.

Gaby smiles softly, "Good, no rush, just do it soon so he knows yeah? You can have fun tonight and figure it out tomorrow."

Y/N is separated from Gaby at an overcrowded gathering that Gaby dragged her to claiming, “Yeah I know this girl, I met her at another party” before Y/N runs into an old friend of hers. And that's when Fionn realizes she's there. He thinks his drink is too strong and is playing tricks on him, but after intensely staring at her features, and the black halter top he remembers running his hands over on his sofa, he's stuck in place. Watching her lips move, remembering when they touched his, remembering they were dragged across his jaw- he stops himself from thinking any further in fear that he might give himself a boner. His eye's dart from her face to the person that wraps an arm around her neck as she laughs into her hands. The guy watches her closely, wanting to amuse her, and Fionn scoffs, a little too loud that he looks around to make sure no one heard him, but it's lost beneath the music.

Y/N wraps up the conversation and the man steps forward, pulling her closer, to adjust his arms under her shoulders to hug her, lifting Y/N to her tiptoes, making her laugh. Fionn watches the scene unfold and his knuckles turn white from gripping his glass too hard. He's never thought of himself as the jealous type but the alcohol in his system makes him much more envious than he ever thought he could be. He hasn't seen her in person since they last kissed for the first time and Fionn has yet to properly address her tonight other than watch her from afar.

When Y/N pulls away, she starts to walk in Fionn's direction and immediately locks eyes with him, trying to hold his intense gaze (which is really just Fionn unsure of what to do) before she finds herself turning away and rushing into the crowd again. Fionn looks down at his drink and watches it twirl in his glass, downing the last bit and shaking his head, mostly at himself, to set himself straight for making Y/N feel nervous under his eyes. Yet also at the thought that she had just run away from him, and it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.

He would go talk to her but he feels too nervous to do any of it now or look at her. Fionn wonder's if she's moved on, met someone new, or had feelings for someone else to begin with that made her leave and run from him here and he feels insecure in his presence again. He wouldn't be too mad if that were necessarily true, he's an adult and it happens, but it would sure break him a little. He sighs harshly, and marches back into the kitchen, prepared to fill his cup.

Y/N runs to Gaby and Y/N explains the situation, hands moving too fast as she talks, and Gaby trying to keep up with Y/N's pace.

"What do I do? I must look like a bitch-"

"You definitely do-"

"Okay Gaby, I know! I can't believe I just left."

Gaby, obviously annoyed, glares at Y/N, as she takes a sip of her drink. Y/N cowers under her gaze, "What..."

"I swear Y/N, go tell him that you're sorry and kiss him or something. You always do this. Don’t screw this up, you like him don’t you?” Gaby watches Y/N quietly nod her head embarrassed at her lecture, “So then act like it yeah? And calm down, do you want some of my drink?' Gaby holds out her drink and Y/N chugs it in its entirety.

The rest of the night is tamer than that moment as Y/N learns to calm herself down, get her fucking act together, and be an adult. But when she does, she can't find Fionn as the night becomes busier.

She’s relieved when she spots Fionn. Y/N watches Fionn make himself another drink, staring aweingly (though she would make sure no one else would look at her stare awingly) and she finds herself in a conversation between a group of people that she is bored of.

Fionn, in a tipsy state, feels a pair of eyes on him as he mixes. He feels like he is making it all up until he looks up and see's Y/N staring at him, her eyes softer than usual, curious and shy, Fionn picks up on it all. Fionn lifts his hand and gives her the smallest wave and then tilts his head, motioning for her to come over without much thought, too into his mixing. Y/N's heart skips a beat and she looks around to make sure Fionn had been addressing her. She slowly pulls herself away from the group and finally finds herself approaching Fionn.

"Hi." Y/N says lowly as she slides up next to Fionn catching his attention.

Fionn looks over at Y/N and suddenly a huge smile appears on his face and an arm loops around her waist bringing her close into a hug while the other holds his drink against the counter.

"I missed you." Fionn utters as she brings her hands to rest against his chest as he pulls her in.

“I missed you too.”

The moment is cut short when a handful of people begin to shout excitedly as a line of shots begin to be poured. It’s at this time Y/N notices that Fionn begins to push into her, tipping her over and making her support his weight as she makes an effort to not tumble under his weight.

“How much have you had to drink?” Y/N furrows her brows when she sees him pick up his cup to bring to his lips again. Fionn shrugs as he pulls the rim away from his lips now slick from the liquid.

“D’know.” He tells her slurring the end of his sentence and his head droops over Y/N’s, his hand now digging into the skin on her hip as she is forced to absorb the heat of his body from their proximity, “I’m just so glad you’re here,” he confesses, lips moving in her hair, “I thought I wasn’t good enough for you, and I thought you proved me right.” He mutters, obviously still embarrassed though his state of mind.

Y/N shakes her head against his and the hand near his neck falls to his waist to push him away and support some of his weight on the counter, “Not at all. You are more than enough.” She tells him, a reassuring smile toying on her lips.

Fionn cocks his head up at her and tilts it to the side, “What’d you say?”

Y/N notices the volume of the room and Fionn who suddenly starts rubbing at his temple, bothered by the noise. Y/N takes note that Fionn is the type of man who, when he has had one too many drinks, likes a quiet atmosphere rather than one surrounded by people as time with him has taught her. She soon is dragging him through the apartment and into a cozy bathroom, with a light dimmer she is grateful for when Fionn complains that it is a little too bright. Fionn is drunk, but he can handle his own in the current state he is in, it isn’t like the first party where he might choke on his own sweat. It’s quiet and calm in the bathroom and he isn’t overheating on the couch of a house party. Instead he’s cool, dipping one hand under cold water as he watches Y/N shut the door behind them, and turn her back to it.

Fionn settles for sitting on the toilet seat close to the sink as he continues to allow his hand to lay under the pressure of gushing water.

“What’d you say before?”

“Huh?”

“What’d you say before, I couldn’t hear you.” Fionn repeats as he nods for her to come over and sit on the space between his feet in the tile. Y/N trods over and sits on the ground facing him, in between his spread legs.

She smiles to herself as he watches her though influenced eyes, getting worked up when she leans her head into his knee comfortingly, “I said that you are more than enough,” her hand reaches and squeezes his knee, “For me.”

Fionn loves the words that come out of her mouth, but he’s still hurt about what happened earlier and he wants to let it go, but he’s still bothered, “Then why are you running away from me?” He asks sadly.

Y/N feels like an absolute prick, and his words slapped her with a sense of guilt she’d only been allowing to seep out of her in increments, but Fionn’s words, so genuinely wondering where he went wrong, drowns her in guilt, suffocating her.

“I’m so sorry,” She says looking down at the tile, “I’m so lucky to have met you and I shouldn’t push you away like that. I’m sorry.” Her hands rub at his thighs and his knees, like she’s hugging the lower half of his body.

Fionn feels himself choke on his breath and he goes a little too long without blinking. It isn’t until he realizes that Y/N has retreated her hands to herself that he turns off the faucet, wipes his wet hand on the side of his shirt and his hand is reaching for her cheek, securing her in place with his thumb tucked behind her ear.

Y/N shudders against the cold hand that holds her lovingly and she looks back up at Fionn who has a boyish grin.

“I’m just glad you’re here now.” He tells her stroking her cheek, heat rising on his own face.

Y/N is so happy that things aren’t tense because of her temporary ghost, and she thinks he’s almost too forgiving but she won’t complain. She would even dare say she thinks they are closer now. But she realizes the haze in Fionn’s eyes as his head falls back against the wall. He is drunk after all. Y/N feels like she has unintentionally taken the easy way out to avoid proper communication and she sighs again, resting her head on his thigh.

“What are you thinking about?” The wave of his voice rumbling through his body, to his thigh and to her face.

She lets out a light chuckle, “Whether or not I’m gonna have to nurse you back to health.”

Fionn sucks his teeth and the hand on her cheek slides back into her hair and gently pushes her to one side playfully, “I’m fine you. So fine that I want to take you home.”

Y/N rolls her eyes and pulls her head away from his hold, “Not letting you drive me home when you look like that.”

“Good, cause�� it’d put you in danger... but who said it would be your house?”

Y/N feels her ears grow hot and she crawls away toward the door and presses her ear to it without responding, “It’s not that loud anymore, wanna go?”

Fionn moves his head side to side, “No. I like it here, it’s quiet. And you, pretty lady, are here alone either me.”

“Are you always this verbally affectionate when you’ve had too much to drink?”

“I just want to be with you.” He admits casually causing Y/N to blush and turn away from him completely, “If you’re okay with that.”

Y/N is unsure whether he is talking in the moment about their situation or their relationship in general but she is quick to her feet to subdue her worry when Fionn starts to snooze on the toilet seat he had been sitting on and someone knocks on the door whining that they have to take a piss. She tugs at his wrist and she soon gets him to stand up. He walks on his own toward the bathroom door that Y/N holds open for him and instead of leading him back to a calmer section of the party like she planned, Fionn is suddenly guiding himself deeper into the apartment and into a bedroom and Y/N follows suit.

“I’m not trying to seduce you, m’just tired.” He tells her when he see Y/N awkwardly stand in the corner of the room as he flings himself onto the bed, “You don’t have to stay if you’re bored.” He adds as he shuffles his head closer to a pillow and tucks an arm beneath it, “But I like knowing you’re near.”

Y/N is unsure what allows Fionn to be so blunt in the moment, never really taking him for a blunt and or confident drunk but a nervous and anxious one but she realizes the circumstances are different

“How’d you know this room was here?” She asks him and she gradually makes her way over to him.

“I’m good friends with the guy who lives here. We used to be roommates for a couple of months.”

Y/N hums back at his answer as she reaches him, his back turned to her. Unsure of what to do, she settles for having her hand trace over his back for the time being and digs shapes into the skin that she is blocked by because of his shirt.

She wishes she knew how to properly respond, physically, when she hadn’t seen him in so long. It’s not the same anymore, she nor Fionn seem too nervous in each other's presence like they once did, and while that is credited to Fionn drinking, she suddenly feels the urge to throw herself into the comfort of his arms and into his side where she can rub against him. But she doesn’t deserve that right now, after she ran away from him and left him wondering about her. And she hopes she can tell him soon when he’s in the right state of mind so she can kiss all over his neck again if he decides to accept her apology. And she really really hopes he does.

Y/N isn’t paying much attention to what she is doing as she talks to herself in her head until a hand is grabbing her wrist. Fionn has twisted around to his back and his face is pink, his breath slightly quicker than usual and his grasp on her skin hot. And Y/N who tries to look him in the eye, can’t help but notice in her peripheral vision the valley that has appeared in his crotch.

“I was just rubbing your back.” She says sheepishly looking around the room and away from him entirely.

Fionn nods, “I know, I just,” his mind is racing slightly embarrassed, “I’m not thinking properly right now.” He drops her wrist and immediately turns back around face down to the sheets.

Fionn is drunk and Y/N was not about to touch Fionn the way she wished she could, everything right now is wrong, the atmosphere, the situation, the timing, it’s all wrong. There is a time and place for them to address and sort each other out properly and now is not it. She doesn’t even know why she’s still standing in the room with her hands by her side. So when she thinks Fionn is completely asleep, she tiptoes to the door and leaves him again.

Gaby is sober to Y/N’s surprise, something about not wanting to miss Y/N leaving and Gaby being unaware of where she’d gone like the party before that had Gaby crying to her brother thinking Y/N had been kidnapped. Gaby and Y/N are grateful to go home together for once.

“You talked to Fionn?” Gaby asks as she paces herself to reach a stoplight.

“A little, nothing important, he was drunk.” Y/N admits, “I feel like our connection always has to do with alcohol. I barely feel like we can be normal with each other unless we have a drink in our system.”

Gaby shrugs, “Well you both are shy as hell. I talked with Tom, said Fionn isn’t even one to do much as to meet new people unless he really really has to, and you are not exactly the type to tell a guy you miss him—”

“Well I did—”

“—Hush, you get what I mean, you aren’t straightforward when you need to be, or at the best times.” Gaby says, a hand falling to her lap as the other grips on to the steering wheel, “For that reason, I think you should take him out on a date.”

Y/N quirks an eyebrow at her friend and Gaby smiles, “Think about it. You can be straightforward at any time you want as long as you don’t kill the mood with a random downer and I know you’re itching to be lovey dovey and did you kiss him like I told you?”

Y/N swats Gaby’s shoulder in response, “You’re so nosy.”

Y/N takes Gaby’s advice and in the morning asks Fionn when he’s free so that they can talk properly. Without wasting time, Fionn tells her he can speak today or anytime during the week and Y/N chooses to prepare herself and tells him to meet her at her place two days from then. Their texts are kept short as they are yet to cross that line again, but Y/N is grateful to be in touch with him one way or another.

She’s not one to cook, but she tries to experiment for those two days, urging Gaby to come over so she can cook Gaby breakfast and dinner. Gaby is honest and Y/N won’t lie that her feelings are hurt, but Gaby’s honesty about how Y/N is somewhat a terrible cook encourages her to stay in her lane and do what she knows and make Fionn a dish she is comfortable with, which she realizes is nothing... The day of, Y/N pulls on a bodycon that teeters far from the line of formality but can rarely be considered casual and orders takeout a little before she expects him to arrive. An hour before he comes over, she’s fluffing her hair the way she likes, cleaning up the little things as much as she can and doing her best to keep the food warm when it comes in. She pats her lips in the embellished mirror that sits in her living room room when—

Hey I’m downstairs.

Y/N checks her appearance as quickly as possible and grabs her keys and anxiously walks out the door. The elevator cannot come any slower and she feels like she’s tugged on her bodycon a little too much to the point where she’s begun to stretch it and wrinkle it. No matter her nerves, she thinks she’s excited, that they can be alone and talk the way they want knowing that they can be blunt about their feelings toward each other and their affection if Y/N is totally straightforward and she can hash out the real issue that has brought them here quickly and —

Shit.

Y/N can spot Fionn outside her complex through the window pane of the double doors and he is dressed casually and past him she can see his car is double parked and running. She had forgotten to mention this was gonna be a date.

Y/N is sure her body would have let the elevator doors close and take her straight back up to her place to tuck herself under layers of covers and let her food get cold if it had not been for the fact that Fionn and her lock eyes and he awkwardly nods to greet her through the glass.

Y/N forces herself out the elevator and unlocks the front door that leads to her stoop.

“Hey,” Fionn is the first to speak as she walks over to him way too slowly before his eyes trail down her figure all the way to her toes, “Cute sandals.?You look nice too, you headed somewhere?”

Y/N sighs, “Oh, I didn’t even notice.” She looks down at her fuzzy slippers and then to the car that continues to run, “Not headed anywhere... You headed somewhere?”

“Maybe, not sure if I wanna go yet.” Fionn tells her. They are an odd distance away from each other and Fionn waits for Y/N to speak watching her sway side to side and look up and down the street, “So...”

Y/N snaps her head to Fionn, “Right uh...” Y/N’s plan to tell him her concerns have gone out the window, this is not how she wanted to do it, rushed because his car is still running and whatnot, but her stomach bubbles from the thought of telling him what she wants to, “I just wanted to tell you again that I was sorry.”

Fionn's lips purse into an “o” shape and he shakes his head nonchalantly, “You’re good, you can have time to yourself—”

But the whole point of this was for her to tell him what she wants, “But you deserve an explanation, a real one.” She adds, “I actually thought, I don’t know...,” she blushes and Fionn cocks his head to one side feeling a smile form on his cheeks because the situation is amusing, “I thought tonight we could spend some time together if you aren’t doing anything— if not we can rain check, if you want to though! — but if not we can talk and I have some food upstairs...?”

The bashful look on Y/N’s face that she so desperately tries to hide does not go past Fionn and he shifts his weight from one foot to the other biting the inside of his cheek to stop his smile.

“I forgot to tell you that I wanted this to be like a , you know, you and me thing... sorry I forgot to tell you the most important thing...” She scratches the back of her neck and stares at the ground, “Guess I was nervous or something.” She says, throwing her head to laugh shyly.

Fionn’s legs feel like jello, the butterflies in his stomach could fly out of him and there would still be a million more gliding in his veins, especially when he realizes she’s asking him on a date. Fionn suddenly feels self conscious again when his hands rub at his sides and he realizes what he’s wearing.

“I’m not really dressed for the occasion...” Fionn slurs and Y/N nods her head defeated but understanding, “I mean look at you.” He chuckles, cracking his knuckles.

They are both so painfully timid in this moment and they are reminded why their conversations must usually be fueled by alcohol.

“But I’d love to come up.”

And Y/N has the fattest smile on her face, “Okay.”

Fionn looks at his car running in the background, “Give me a minute I’ll just park and come back real quick.”

Y/N nods again worried her words will be too bubbly. She’s pulled out of her world of excitement tangled with a twinge of panic when she unexpectedly feels Fionn’s lips pecking her own quickly and gently pulling back before she even has time to realize. An encounter that has her touching her lips.

They don’t talk much on the ride up or the walk down the hall, but they are so evidently giddy about each other without having to do or say much.

Y/N leads Fionn in and has him take his shoes off at the door. She seats him at her cute little table near her window and heads to her kitchen to put the takeout on her fancy plates she's always so scared to mess up. She can see Fionn through the half wall of her kitchen, taking off his light jacket and hanging it on the back of his chair. He catches Y/N taking a sneaky look at him and he holds her eyes with his until she gets nervous and begins to set the food onto the plates even faster.

"You need help?" He calls out leaning forward on his forearms.

Y/N holds up both plates in response and rushes over to where he is sitting, placing both plates on the table, then running back to the kitchen and back to the table with two water bottles. Once she's seated, she pulls her loose hair back and grabs her fork, waiting for Fionn to take the first bite before she starts to eat.

"I'm happy you're here, I think I owe you an explanation for what I did." And then she stuffs her mouth to wait for his response.

To her surprise, Fionn is shaking his head, "You're okay, as long as I know you're okay--"

"But don't you want to know why?" She pushes.

"Well, it's not like we're together." He says much more nonchalantly and colder than he intended for that to come out. The air around them goes still as Y/N chews her food extra slow. He's right, she thinks, they aren't together, and if she pushes him away and never tells him anything, they will never be together. But they will never be together either if Fionn believes Y/N doesn’t have to share anything with him because they aren't together. Y/N drops her fork confused at his words because while she appreciates Fionn reassuring her about how much space he is willing to give her, that she is not his and he doesn't expect to take anything from her, she wishes he could tell her some things he did want, and while he doesn't want anything from her, does he want her? -- in the way that she's been wanting him?

"Well..." She starts before looking at nothing in the middle of the table in a low voice, "Do you want to be?"

There is so much anxious tension that has made its way into Fionn's bones and down to his fingers and through his throat that it feels like food is lodged in his throat and his fork is unbelievably heavy. He didn't mean for it to come out like that, he wants her to know he has no malicious intentions behind his actions. He knows that she know he likes her, but he's come to realize that isn't enough, that whether he's tried to be open about about his feelings and had the impression that he was succeeding showing such, he forgot to express his desire to be with her, the desire that a relationship would exist just between the two of them. Everything had just been up in the air. Sure they liked each other, but what were they gonna do about it?

Fionn let’s out a laugh. He laughs, and Y/N cocks her head to the side as she watches him lean over the table to put a hand on her head, causing her to blush.

“Do you even have to ask?” He lets his fingers slot through her hair, gently dragging his hand down the side of her face to bring a couple of strands forward and frame her cheeks, “That's all I want.” He sits back in his chair, staring deeply into her eyes from across the table, “Do you?”

She can feel a smile bubbling onto her face until she reminds herself why they are sat here, and the wall that stood between her and committing to Fionn.

“I just want you to know that I’m still trying to trust you and it’s not your fault I just don’t want to compare you to anyone else and their bad actions... I just want to have you.” Her eyes trail from the table up to his eyes and Fionn is reaching for her hands and squeezing her fingers.

“Okay, that’s okay, and I’d like to be here to help you if you need. Okay?”

Y/N let’s her smile finally erupt and she’s leaving her side of the table to hug Fionn, arms around his neck, and his arms swinging up to her waist, pulling her into her lap where she mostly finds herself for most of the evening as they relish in each others touch, and lips.

. .

“Another hickey?” Gaby asks, spotting it as she exits a stall and Y/N fixes her hair in front of a bathroom mirror,“Never took Fionn for the wild type.”

Y/N rolls her eyes at Gaby, though there is a grin sporting its way to her face, “It’s just for fun.”

Y/N and Fionn have a great thing going, and while they aren’t together together they are exclusive. They’re usually together when he’s not away, she’s always the first person he calls or texts at the end of the day, the first person she facetimes when she tries to improve her cooking and he’s the first person she has been with that she truly trusts herself with entirely. They haven’t had sex, and there is no rush to, but they find themselves doing small things to please eachother, not truly ready to cross that line yet.

Gaby runs her newly soaped hands under cold water and watches Y/N adjust her hair to hide her hickey again, “At least I know you’re happy,” Gaby smiles, “and I no longer have to drive you everywhere. You should tell Fionn how much I appreciate him, you know, he does me as much of a service as he does for you.”

Y/N collides her hip with Gaby’s, pushing her away, and in return Gaby flicks her wet hands toward Y/N’s face who guards with her palms.

“Y/N learn how to drive for our sake.” Gaby pouts.

Y/N feels her phone vibrate in her back pocket.

I’m outside :)))

She smiles at his text, “Speaking of Fionn, he’s outside.”

Gaby leans over to engulf Y/N in a bear hug and rocks her, “Tell your boyfriend I said hi and thank you.”

Y/N says goodbye to the rest of her friends at the restaurant before heading out and rushing to Fionn's car running out front. She taps on the glass to catch his attention and he’s unlocking his car door for his lover, immediately reaching for the nape of her neck with one hand to pull her to his lips once she’s inside.

She pulls away, allowing one hand to rub his chest comfortingly before pulling on her seatbelt, “How was your day?”

“Better with you here.”

“My god,” her seatbelt clicks into place and she reaches for his bicep from the arm that still latches onto her neck, “what a sweet talker you are-”

Fionn is pulling her back in for another kiss, this time surprising her with his tongue that invades her mouth and swirls around her own, savoring the drink that still lingers on her tongue. He pulls her in deeper and deeper, and her hand is forced to fist at the material of his shirt near his waist to compose herself from the dizzying feeling that accompanies his lips. He pulls away unexpectedly, watching Y/N wait for more and pecks one more kiss to her flushed lips before removing his hand from her neck to change gears, then to the middle of her thigh.

Y/N watches Fionn quietly begin to drive off and she rests her hand over the one on her lap, encasing his fingers beneath her grasp. She can’t tell what’s got him quiet, or so worked up to kiss her so hungrily, but she doesn’t mind. Nor does she mind him kneading and stroking the inside of her thigh when they reach a red light.

“How was your day Y/N?”

His smile is almost innocent, but she can see his eyes flit to her neck and her hickey and back to her eyes.

“Good, just went to meet some old friends, Gaby says hi.”

He hums in response and his head falls back completely onto the headrest, — tired? — eyes watching her in a way that Y/N can’t put her finger on before he’s back to watching the road, gripping the wheel tightly.

“You okay Fionn?” She asks naively.

Fionn resists the urge to laugh, and the urge to reel her back to his lips and taste her. He’s been on edge all day, frustrated, and he painfully notices what’s been bothering him when an overwhelming heat rushes to his crotch when Y/N, looking lovely as ever, sits herself in his passenger seat with his work so clearly painting her neck when her hair is behind her shoulders. If he had to tell her the truth, he’s extremely sexually frustrated, maybe it’s just all the work stress he’s told her about and the yearning sensation to have relief from it in one way or another, but he knows Y/N and he’s not truly sure how many remnants of the past that she’s still reminded of, and how he doesn’t want her to feel obligated to fix an issue that he can handle now that he realizes it. Kissing her is just enough to satisfy him for now until he gets home and excuses himself, though her kiss always leaves him wanting more.

“I’m okay just - missed you yeah?”

Y/N traces her thumb over the indents on his hand and his rigid fingers, “You’re kinda tense you know. Maybe I can give you a massage when we get to yours.” She suggests happily and his grip on the wheel tightens even more.

He puts on his bravest smile and tries to hold onto it as he feels himself crumbling and his hand gripping her thigh tighter, not enough to hurt her, but enough for her to feel it and quirk an eyebrow. Y/N and Fionn sit in silence, which she finds weird because Fionn usually is telling her something interesting when everything is quiet but this time he’s reserved. She’s learned that he’s usually quiet when he’s tired, but he’s much more calm and relaxed when he’s tired, allowing himself to find comfort in his fatigue. This she can’t put her finger on, because she’s never seen it before, and she settles on making herself learn more about Fionn and this new expression of his that she doesn’t know.

When they reach his house, it takes him a minute to properly get out of the car that Y/N is already out of the car before him. Then he’s rushing to catch up, hand over her shoulder as they reach his doorstep. He’s fumbling with his keys from his rushed manner and Y/N realizes how long it takes him when she hears him huff. She looks over at his flushed face and finds herself pressing her hand to his neck. He relishes in the cool touch of her hand, washing him with relief yet also filling him with guilt that he’s so out of it because of something so silly. She takes his keys out of his large hands and into her nimble fingers as she begins to unlock the door. Watching the lock below her, there is something in her peripheral she’s not exactly sure about but for the most part she can ignore it. She adjusts her grip on his keys with one hand and accidently drops the set.

Cursing out loud she crouches down to pick the keys up, allowing her other hand to trail from his neck, down his chest and to his lower abdomen to steady herself. Fionn rests his head against his front door as her hand stops near his hips and he grabs onto her arm to keep her balanced. He feels like she is going to kill him with her touch alone.

When Y/N grabs his keys from the ground and begins to stand back up, she notices what has been hiding from her in plain sight and is now practically looking her in the eye, Fionn’s hard on.

Fionn notices her eyes, wide as ever trained on his crotch, and he quickly lifts her up to straighten out her legs before hiding his hips into the door and leaning away from her entirely. Y/N could laugh really, in a way it is funny, but she can also tell Fionn is absolutely embarrassed and has been hiding this from her so that she wouldn’t feel that pressure that her responsibility is to satisfy him, a secret wrapped in a web of other thoughts that she only told Fionn.

But she doesn’t feel that anymore, the idea doesn’t scare her anymore, they’ve been together for a while and she’s more than ready to admit she knows how she should be treated and how Fionn will treat her just as she should be. He’s all that’s on her mind anymore, no more past thoughts and actions haunting her mind, just Fionn and his lovely self.

She opens the door and they shuffle inside before she hands him back his keys and he’s closing the door behind them.

“I’m sorry,” He utters on edge, “Just give me a second yeah, I’m gonna take a shower and I’ll be good as new.”

Fionn is absolutely embarrassed and tries to put on his bravest face when he talks to her. Though he wishes he could run upstairs and relieve himself, he doesn’t want it to weird, knowing she’s down here full well aware that he’s upstairs stroking himself wishing it were her, so his best bet is a cold shower and then he can get back to his love and-

Y/N is kissing him before he has a chance to hurry to his bathroom. Her lips capture his and suddenly his rational mind is being overtaken by his dick when she presses into the front of his body and he unintentionally grinds into her, causing him to pull away immediately after dropping his head onto her shoulder, defeated.

“Y/N please, give me just a few minutes to calm down.”

One of her hands flies to his head and kneads through his hair, “You don’t have to,” she says, her other hand finding his belt loop, “Want to help you, only if you want me to though.” She whispers into his ear.

Want to, want to, want to. A part of him feels so incredibly happy that his girl wants to rather than feeling like she needs to like she once believed. On the other hand, Fionn feels all the blood rush to his cock and before he thinks too little, he’s grabbing her waist and pushing her away to look her in her eyes, “You sure?”

She knows that you sure? is aimed at asking her if she's truly ready, and that the past isn’t something that festers in her mind and affects her present, and she smiles, “You’re all I know now...I’m sure Fionn.” And the hand on his hip falls to his belt, “Can I?”

And Fionn is dizzily nodding and leaning down to kiss her again, using his hands to pull her over to the couch and have her fall on top of him, her knee between his legs rubbing against him, causing his head to lean back and for him to whine as Y/N takes the opportunity to drag her lips down his jaw and onto his neck where she sucks on his skin as her hands skillfully undo his belt.

She falls down to the floor, on her knees, one hand high on his thigh and the other tracing the waistband of his boxers, before she peels them back to reveal Fionn’s cock. He’s not huge, but he definitely is not small either and Y/N, prepared to take on the task of making him cum, spits in her hand before taking him in her palm and moving her hand up and down against him.

Fionn is incredibly sensitive to her touch just because he’s dying to release, and when her thumb comes to the head of his cock and circles around the tip, he’s bucking his hips up toward her hand, and gripping the couch cushion beneath him, eyes fluttering as he tries to keep his moans to himself. The precum that oozes from his tip allows Y/N to glide her palm against him, and when her reaction satisfies him, she leans forward and juts her tongue out to lick the underside of his dick where a long vein trails down his length.

Fionn is absolutely breathless and he gently taps Y/N’s forehead with his thumb to push her away and give him a chance to breathe. His hands run along her hairline until they are tangled in her hair, petting her.

“I’m doing okay?”

He’s speechless, she’s doing more than okay and he nods giving her a sweet grin as he continues to rub the back of her head, “Perfect.”

She gives him a couple of seconds, Fionn seeing the stars his own eyes, and the moment she feels he’s recovered she’s leaning forward and taking him into her mouth, the grip he has on her hair tightens and he’s pushing his back against the couch as he tries to keep his hips from thrusting into her mouth. Y/N takes what she can in her mouth, and takes the rest of him in her hands, her eyes watching his reaction as he squirms beneath her and moans and mutters curses under his breath.

“Your mouth,” He says breathlessly, “Doing so well.” He trails looking up to the ceiling silent words coming out of his mouth. He’s so close he can feel it but Y/N pulls away, her lips pretty with Fionn’s premature mess.

“You okay?”

She nods and places her hand over Fionn's hand in her hair, “Help me fit more of you, push me down.”

And Fionn who can barely speak, and feels as if he has tears pricking at his eyes watches her shake his hand out her hair for a moment to pull it back, using the hair tie on her wrist to tie it, “I’m sure,” She pats his knees and gives him a smile, “Wanna make you cum.”

Both his hands are flying to the side of her head gently slotting his finger through her roots, and she turns her head to kiss his wrist before she flits her eyes at him, telling him she’s ready. Her mouth encompasses his cock and her tongue lay flat on the underside of the vein that runs through it. She waits for Fionn to move her, and when he pushes her head down and bucks his hips up hearing a gag and feeling Y/N salivate around him he’s destroyed.

He isn’t too rough, but he isn’t going very slow either, he’s chasing his release with her mouth desperately moaning and whimpering lewdly, “You take me so well, you look so pretty- fuck- so fucking pretty. Fuck, Y/N-” and he fucks his hips faster into her mouth to glide her lips against his dick and provide him relief. He’s more than familiar with the sudden fire that begins in his stomach and his hold on the sides of Y/N’s face begins to loosen as he tries to tilt her head back and away.

“I’m- shit, gonna come” he tells her as she still hungrily sucks on him, “Y/N, please... please, I’m gonna cum, love, please.” He’s hungrily watching her and he closes his eyes everytime she pulls her mouth away from his cock just to bring it back down toward his abdomen.

She pulls back swiftly and looks into his eyes which causes his thumb to gravitate from her hair toward her lips and swipe over them from the pretty little face she is making, “Cum in my mouth then.”

Y/N uses both of her hands to stroke him once more and she wishes she could take a picture of Fionn, and how needy and breathless he is, trying to keep himself at bay. She takes him in her mouth one last time, fitting what she can and stroking the rest as Fionn is too paralyzed with pleasure to push her back down. The overwhelming frustration he once felt is fueled by a fire in his stomach that grows and grows and grows until he’s squirming under her, his eyes red , wanting to cry from how good it feels, and he’s a whimpering, whining and tugging on her hair.

“Please, please...” Fionn says trying his best to pull her away from all his sensitivity as she continues to suck him dry. She allows him to pull her off and feels a good deal of pride seeing him pant and the red flush on his cheek when she finally swallows.

“Feel better?”

He’s completely fucked out, and he tries to give her the best smile he can even though he feels she just sucked all the energy out of his body, “So much better,” he tells fixing her hair lovingly, “Thank you.”

She nods back at him, tucking him back in his boxers, and wiping the corner of her mouth preparing herself to stand with her now aching knees, but Fionn stops her, the hand in her hair keeping her in place as he leans forward. The other hand in her hair moves to her cheek and he leans her in and up to him, pulling her bum off the back of her heels, and bringing her into his lips. He can taste himself on her, salty, but he could care less, she still tasted sweet, and the two flavors melted together making her undesirable. And though he just got a blowie that practically numbed his entire mind, he knew exactly what he wanted, the one active thing he could think about was her.

Y/N pulls away, her eyes and brows scrunching together as she tries to stand up, “My knees fucking hurt, give me a second.”

And he laughs leaning back into the couch, his arms falling behind the couch cushion watching her stand up and shake out her legs. When she’s satisfied, she falls on the couch by his side.

“Where were we?” She asks, placing a hand to his chest.

“I was going to try to romance you but your knees were about to give out.”

“Fucking knees.”

The room is filled with a comfortable silence as Y/N kicks off her shoes and brings them up to her chest, her clothed toes tucked beneath his thigh.

“You know,” she starts, “If you hadn’t nearly vomited on everyone that one night then I probably wouldn’t have been sitting here.”

“If you hadn’t come to my rescue you mean.” Fionn says, fixing his arm to fall on her shoulder.

Y/N drops her head onto his shoulder and closes her eyes, tired from the day, and though she and Fionn wishes they could go a little bit further, having felt and tasted each other more, neither of them have the energy. Fionn brings her closer with one arm and kisses her forehead, “What does my girl want to do tomorrow?”

“Mmmm I’m your girl now?”

“Are you?”

“Am I?”

Y/N opens one eye with a mischievous smile waiting for him to answer, and he shakes his head playfully as he looks down at her in the crook of his neck. Yeah, he thinks to himself, she could be the love of my life.

He drops his head back against the couch chuckling out loud, "Yes.”

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