fujoreads

[fujoreads]

April came and went fast

Hi hi, everyone! Guess I'm late with the reading updates :')

April was a slow month for me. I guess I just had a fun reading journey last month + a lot of shit happening to me that I didn't feel like reading much. But hey, I think I'm recovering!

I read some books!

But I also read enjoyed some other media, so I'll also talk a bit about that I guess :) It's what also stole my reading time, after all.

House of Hunger by Alexis Henderson

WANTED: A bloodmaid of exceptional taste. Must have a keen proclivity for life's finer pleasures. Girls of weak will need not apply.

This is one I had started last year but ended up DNFing it because I just wasn't feeling it. The writing felt somewhat YA (because it is YA) in its edginess but when I gave it this second chance, it flowed quite well :) I guess I was just not in the mood for it then.

Writing aside, it's a very tense story! While it features only sapphic romance and some sexual content here and there, I wouldn't say it's a good fit if you're looking for a romance book or even just a story with a healthy couple. There's only doomed lesbians (TM) here!

This is a full-on dark romance with lots of blood and needles, so watch out for the trigger warnings (mostly needles, age gap romance 16 yo w/ 26 yo I think? It was whack). The good thing this story does is that at least it's not too romanticized. The book makes a point in telling you this is not an equal relationship or dynamic, that besides the age gap, there's also the master-servant aspect of this, that she has nowhere to go if she quits.

Overall, this was an enjoyable and thrilling read. If you aren't too bothered by those trigger warnings, then I'd recommend this one. It's not a 5-star read by any means, but it's fun enough to be a 4-star one, especially by the last third.

The God of the Woods by Liz Moore

When Barbara Van Laar is discovered missing from her summer camp bunk one morning in August 1975, it triggers a panicked, terrified search. Losing a camper is a horrific tragedy under any circumstances, but Barbara isn’t just any camper; she’s the daughter of the wealthy family that owns the camp. And this isn’t the first time a Van Laar child has disappeared in this region: Barbara’s older brother also went missing fourteen years ago, never to be found. How could this have happened yet again?

I remember adding this one to my TBR after listening to one episode of Books Unbound recommending it. I am usually not super into crime-related thrillers with all the investigation and questioning witnesses, but I tried this one anyway.

I will say: it is a page-turner. I spent at least one to two hours every day reading this until I finished it. Almost every chapter ends in a way that leaves you wanting more. But that's the most this book has to offer. Years ago, this may have sufficed but now I want to read something entertaining and thought-provoking, something that leaves me thinking about the book afterwards.

This was enjoyable enough to deserve 3 stars, but nothing more.

The Gender Accelerationist Manifesto by Vikky Storm

The modern gender system is weak. It has spelled its own doom by how it has formed itself.

Poor quality cover aside, this was such a good read!! I'm in love.

While I was already aware of many issues this book expands on, it taught me so many new things about identity and identitary politcs and how to fight against gender as a patriarchal system.

But liberation cannot be found within the context of existing systems of power. If we simply turn to the state, to capitalist businesses, to patriarchal marriage, and call for us to be included, we will never be free.

This is such an important read, for both socialists and queer people alike, because we are all in this together.

And now, the rest of my month

The Great Ace Attorney: Adventures

I've been slowly playing through this AA game and it's been super fun! Just finished Chapter 2 and it's sad :((

I like listening to Visual Novel Book Club after I finish each episode. It's a cool podcast, a shame they stopped...

Steven Universe

Oh, here's the main culprit for my reading slowness and lowkey slump! I ended up binging the entire series + movie twice because I ended up in a reaction rabbit hole and man, it was bad. I mean it was wonderful and reignited the love I have for this universe but it's so emotionally draining that I felt really empty afterwards, feeling just... I don't know, heavy and sad-ish? Especially towards the end of Future. That just destroyed me but ironically helped me processing some feelings I had post-breakup and overall about my future as an adult. I'm in a better place now, though.

Severance

I was so happy watching the weekly episodes until I got distracted and bam, the series ended and I was still on episode 8. Finally finished the series and man, what a finale! I'm glad it wasn't as cliffhangery as the last one and that, this time, we don't have to wait as long as season 3 has been confirmed already!

Someone give Tramell Tillman as oscar for his performance!! Such a good actor.

This may be one of my favorite TV (live-action) series of all time and I'm glad season 2 lived up to its hype. Sure, it was definitely slower than the first one, but that's because we are now building up the lore around the Lumon world and its mysteries. Just like every series, it needs development for the climax to shine, so I have high hopes for its season 3. I don't know how long this series will last, but I hope they don't end up milking it too much. If it ends on season 3, so be it.

And that's all, folks! This was not a perfect month but it is what it is :) I can't be productive all the time and that's okay~

[fujoreads]

March reads!

Hey, hey, guess who's back for the 1000th time! I'm glad I did not delete this blog, though I did struggle with a 9-month reading slump and it was pure hell.

I'm back now, finally checking some books off my list and getting new ones for my TBR <3

I'm aware my reviews aren't the greatest so I'll just do a quick monthly review of everything I read :) no promises it'll last, my ADHD mind is wiiiild

What Is to Be Done? by Nikolai Chernyshevsky (7/10 ⭐)

“Anxiety in love isn’t real love; if there’s any anxiety, then something isn’t as it should be, for love itself is happy and carefree.”

This right here is the damn reason I fell into a slump. It could have been any other book, as I was feeling burned out, but the slow pacing and lack of editing (which, to be fair, is understandable considering the times this was written) made it unbearable to get through, and I couldn't read more than 3 pages a day.

I ended up not reading until now, but I've forced my way through the last third and boy oh boy, am I glad I gave this another chance! It's an absolute case of a "slow middle" but once you push through, it presents you a wonderful chapter that could have been written by a different author–it's straight to the point, beautifully so, and it's hopeful and bright, a sight for times to come.

For those who have not heard of this book, it follows mainly three characters: Viéra Pavlovna, Dmitri Sergéitch, and Alexander Kirsanov. I don't want to say much, afraid I'll reveal too much, but it's a story that follows Viéra and her views on life as a woman and relationship norms and expectations. The way this book explores monogamous heteronormative values in society (especially in Tzarist Russia) is fabulous and there are some good plot twists that kept me intrigued.

The Power of When by Michael Breus (5/10 ⭐)

I don't even know if I can count this as reading since I've read some parts of it only. It's one of those non-continuous non-fiction reads where you can pick and choose the topics that interest you. In this case, as it's a book on sleep and our chronotypes, I only read about mine—the Lion.

There's an initial segment where you can take a couple of questionnaires to find out what your chronotype is, and I did find that very interesting and fun, but as the book progressed, it began to feel repetitive and even boring. After exploring the general ideas behind every chronotype—the Dolphin, Lion, Bear and Wolf—the book goes on to explaining the best times to do an extensive number of things. As the subtitle suggests, Discover Your Chronotype—And the Best Time to Eat Lunch, Ask for a Raise, Have Sex, Write a Novel, Take Your Meds, and More.

This can be fun for some, but it tired me out, so I ended up only checking the things I was curious about and then I closed it for good.

As 220 Mortes de Laura Lins by Rafael Weschenfelder (9/10 ⭐)

Well, here's a book I sadly can only recommend if you know Portuguese. It's a shame, since it's so good. So good, in fact, that I may try to translate it to English as a personal exercise and act of love to the author.

This is a short tale of Daniel, trying to save his best friend, Laura, from impending doom in a deathly time loop that goes back to that day every time Laura dies.

It's such a short book that I don't want to speak much about it, but it's an intense adventure that made me feel an array of emotions. I'm still amazed how this story made me tense up, make me sad while tearing up, and even make me laugh.

If I had to talk about downsides, is that due to the short nature of this tale, I noticed some plot holes or unrealistic conveniences. (Ah, talking about unrealistic in a time loop setting!)

I definitely want to read more from this author, and I'm happy I found another lusophone (aka, written in Portuguese) book and that it's not just another Portuguese author but a Brazilian one. Fun!

Identity by Milan Kundera (9/10 ⭐)

“How could she feel nostalgia when he was right in front of her? How can you suffer from the absence of a person who is present? You can suffer nostalgia in the presence of the beloved if you glimpse a future where the beloved is no more.”

Oh my god, what a ride. This was an absolute descent into chaos due to a simple miscommunication—that was what I thought at first, but the ending threw me for a loop, and you can only know why after you read the whole thing!

Also, I loved the way the objectification of women bodies and fears women have because of this plays such a role into the plot. 

The Laurels are Cut by Édouard Dujardin (5/10 ⭐)

While the writing wasn't my favorite and it took a while to get used to, the dynamic between the two main characters is interesting enough.

It's a quick read, though the stream-of-consciousness way of writing slows it down.

Several People Are Typing by Calvin Kasulke

WOAH. What a crazy experience!!! The concept was curious enough already but the execution?? So good.

It was fun, creepy and queer—what else could I ask for?

This was such a fun month, and one I didn't fully enjoy. I wonder what gems I will read this April! <3

[fujoreads]

Weekly Update (30 Nov. 2024)

Maaan, it feels good to be back! I've read and watched a lot, so I'll try to summarize this and then talk about this week :)

I don't really remember what I was doing last time I wrote these posts, but I started House of Hunger (Alexis Henderson), though it's currently come to a halt. Outside of that, I've been interested in mostly non-fiction about plain living and such. Among those reads, I finished Better Off: Flipping the Switch on Technology (Eric Brende). It was really heart-warming and insightful. While the writing paints a prettier, almost fairy-tale-esque picture of the community, I am sure there are many things that were true, such as the reliance on community, which is something rare these days.

Other than books, I watched some movies.

First came Anna, just because I wanted a more casual watch, so nothing better than an action-packed session. It was okay, just what I'd expect from an action movie, but I was somewhat disappointed.

The next day, I watched Capitão Falcão (or The Portuguese Falcon) and what a fun movie! I knew of it from some references around the internet, but I was surprised to find it among my favorites of this year. It's definitely up there, and it has its own guaranteed charm.

Finally, I tried watching Moscow Does Not Believe in Tears and while old movies do have their charm, I really—and I mean really—can't stand Russian acting. I am sure there are good ones, but it all feels so stiff and the voices feel like they were added in later, weirdly enough. I had to drop it at some point. And I was looking forward to it, haah...

Oh, and games! Right, right, I've played some of those. Well, not really, but I did read some VNs!

I can't remember if I finished more, but Siren's Call lived rent-free in my head after I finished it. It was much better than anything I expected and it caught me off guard. Please read my full review if you'd like to be convinced! I would love for more people to read it. It's still in Early Access, but if I'm not mistaken, it's supposed to release its full, complete version this year yet!

Other than that, I am almost finished with Umineko (finally!) and I will probably be celebrating its finale by Sunday. Next in line is The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles! I am so hyped to finish these and start other reads. Don't get me wrong, Umineko is one hell of a masterpiece, but it's also DAMN LONG!!!! Took me almost two years but after 120 hours of reading, I am so glad I kept at it. What a beautiful piece of fiction, and I haven't finished it yet.

And that's all from me, see you next week!

[fujoreads]

Serial Experiments Lain // review

After weeks of stalling and busy days, I am finally here to say I have finished watching Serial Experiments Lain! This was an experience I hope to never forget: it was unsettling, revealing, and definitely prophetic. I am going to share my journey with this anime, and that includes rambling a bit about my personal life. I hope you understand.

This anime followed me through many different points of my mind, in a way. When I first started watching it, I was the same Fujo that would spend days on end in front of a screen. However, due to burnout and overstimulation, I decided to gradually quit the internet. I know, I know… it sounds a bit much, doesn't it? Well, I am still using it to this day and I may never fully quit, but I don't want it to be my first go-to anymore. I don't know about the future of this blog, but I hope to continue writing here, even if I can't promise consistency.

Anyway, as I watched Lain get more into the Wired and its wonders and mysteries, I started seeing myself in her. I may be a noob when it comes to actual programming and tech itself, but I spent most of my late childhood and teenagehood in front of my computer, shutting myself from the outside world. I was socially awkward and didn't like the night life, so I just embraced the artificial warmth the internet provided me.

The anime really explores the way the digital world and the internet "connect" people, leaving them lonelier in the process. It's kinda sad how Lain, in the first episode, made me realize that a world before the internet did exist—one where you didn't have to jump to the computer as soon as you got back home, hoping to talk to people you've never met in real life (and probably never will.)

As she ventures into the Wired, you see her behavior slowly morph. From her usually shy and reserved composure comes out a more agressive and playful persona, almost like an avatar. Remember when the digital world was bound to your computer—and thus, to your home? Back then, we were still exploring the internet as a new, developing area and because of that, a lot of people still had their little veil of secrecy. I feel like with the creation of smartphones capable of handling social media, we've distorted the invisible wall between the digital realm and reality—and Lain portrays that perfectly.

I'm all over the place with this review, but Serial Experiments Lain really was made with love and care. I was meant to play (or at least watch a gameplay of) the PS1 game as well but I'm going to be honest: I wasn't too interested. Look, I am sure the game provides new lore that adds to everything, but the full gameplay video I found was 11 HOURS TOTAL. No way in hell I'm watching all that without my own personal hype. So sorry, @diowatcher, hope you forgive me, tee-hee!

Overall, I gave this an 8/10 for the surreal and existencial journey. Go watch it, but set your expectations accordingly. It is a slow-paced show but it's totally worth it 💜

[fujoreads]

Weekly Update (16/9/2024)

Hey hey! Man, I'll never make any promises about anything I say, ever. As always, I couldn't finish Lain nor write a review on it. I'm almost done with it, but life gets busy...

Anyways, I did finish something!

I finally finished the book, and I think I'll watch the movie adaptation with my best friend this week! I cried during the last chapters,,, such a beautiful book.

Other than that, I barely watched or read anything, as far as I remember.

I started helping out with a new PT-BR translation project and I got so hyperfocused on that that I haven't done anything else lol

[fujoreads]

Weekly Update (8/9/2024)

Hello, everybody! How are you doing? (´ ∀ ` *) I might as well do these on Mondays, since I keep forgetting...

My weeks have been more peaceful since I've returned to my early schedule and downsized my workload! I haven't made any progress with Lain, but I'll try to finish it this week for sure!! Expect a review next week!!

Been slowy reading through these two. Totto-chan is my light read that I read during meals, and What Is to Be Done? occupies my evenings! It's finally getting more interesting too, though the author just keeps explaining everything and infodumping me with all the little details.

I've been playing a lot in preparation for October! I'm writing some recommendation lists for the spooky month (as well as reviews) and so I'm playing them now. There will be more to come and I'll talk about them in more detail in October, so please wait until then!

I finally watched In This Corner of This World—the 2016 release, to be specific. I intend on watching the 2019 one soon, but I want to do so with my best friend. It's a beautiful movie... one that changed my view on life, literally. I'm glad I'm not exaggerating as this work saved me from a cycle of depressive thoughts towards my situation in life. Overall, a pure 9/10. Do be warned for WW2-related content though, as this is set before and during (all the way to the end) the war, all from a non-fighting civilian's—a woman and wife—perspective.

Personal Projects

Other than that, I'm finally (almooooost) finished with some fan projects of mine!

Finished the graphics editing work for euphoria (PT-BR project)

99% done with the QA of Nekopara Vol. 3 and soon we'll enter in beta test phase! (PT-BR project)

Helped translating the graphics from the opening in Tenshi no Oshigoto for eien's port.

Phew! That's all for this week <(￣︶￣)> hehe~ I'll bring you more next time!

[fujoreads]

Weekly Update (1/9/2024)

Hello hello! I'm late to this update yet again, but it is what it is. I had a nice week, though :)

I started reading again! I read 30% of How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy... and then just skimmed through it—it wasn't what I was looking for. Same thing happened with Digital Minimalism in Everyday Life, a book more about the practical side of digital minimalism. However, I was expecting an approach other than "you don't need to ditch modern tech, just use it in moderation!! productivity!!1!!11!", especially after reading How to Do Nothing. I am tired of looking at screens and doing so much every single day, and would love to find a read on people like me, who are embracing older tech (or just ditching modern alternatives altogether); I'm aware it's not practical, but for folks who don't work with tech for a living, you don't really need to be online 24/7, be it in your digital life or in real life.

It's kinda baffling my family (and even past friends) saw me not wanting to be on whatsapp or social media, or even going as far as ditching my smartphone, and thought "he doesn't want to talk to us". It's not like I'm the most sociable person to begin with, but if you want to talk to me, you can talk, call, or even message me directly through the phone, instead of relying on an app.

Anyway, I'm also reading Totto-chan: The Little Girl at the Window and it's sooo lovely! I miss being a kid and being in the countryside. I never visited Japan, but I only want to visit its countryside, if I'm being honest. There's something about the calm of it all—not exclusive to Japan, fortunately.

Unfortunately I have no VN readings to comment on since my job has been so tiring that I can't look at screens for very long. My sleep schedule is a mess and I can't wait to get back to my early schedule.

I'm still playing Needy Streamer Overload—only 2 endings left!—and I'm enjoying it a lot :) I can't wait for Yunyun Syndrome!? Rhythm Psychosis uuuugh

Still watching Serial Experiments Lain and really enjoying it!! I didn't make much progress this week due to work, but I am determined to finish it this week, and today is my final day of work :)

I finally started the famous Avatar: The Last Airbender and I'm enjoying it a lot!! I'm on episode 3 (Part 1) and I had forgotten how fun these types of series are. Last time I remember being this invested and entertained with a cartoon is with 2016's Voltron: Legendary Defender. In a way, Sokka reminds me of Lance and the internet tells me I wasn't the only one thinking that.

So, I watched Carol! I'm noticing I'm going through a lot of queer movies these past days, and they are all so depressing and bittersweet. It's like a guilty pleasure: it upsets me and I love it at the same time. That is to say, I'll give this a 3/5—it wasn't a bad movie by any means, but it didn't stand out to me.

On that note, I also watched Ammonite! This was a more interesting movie to me, although I wish they could have maybe developed it more. It felt to me like their relationship was somewhat rushed, although the ending was pretty good food for thought: 3.5/5 stars.

And that is it for the week! Tell me what you've been doing these days in the comments~

[fujoreads]

Weekly Update (18/8/2024)

Hello hello, everyone! I was supposed to have published this a few hours ago as it's Monday here already, but alas! This will be a shorter post, just updating what I've been up to this past week :)

Surprisingly, I haven't touched a book besides finishing The Unwomanly Face of War. It was such an impactful book, and I think it mentally prepared me to finally watch Come and See which has been on my movie bucket list for years now. The things told there are brutal and will make you cry for these women who gave so much for their motherland only to be ignored after the war is over. Definitely a new favorite, 4 stars.

Speaking of reading! I finished 2 more Visual Novels, and dropped another. The DNF goes to The Fruit of Grisaia—it had everything to be good and keep me hooked, but the reliance in anime archetypes had me bored out of my mind. So sorry to all the Grisaia fans! Anyway, during the first days I also finished Sexcalibur: Knights of the Pound Table, which was another dumb smut, and one I deeply hated having to read. It was so lazy and in my humble opinion, not sexy at all. Would have DNFed it but I did end up skipping a lot of H-Scenes by the end of the game. 2 stars.

The other 2 VNs were Queen of Moths and un/FRAGMENT. Two very short reads, perfect for a weekend session! Queen of Moths is more of a Pixel Art Horror game. It plays a lot like those older point and click games but, as short as it was, it still makes you tense and ready for a scare. I enjoyed it! 3 stars. un/FRAGMENT. is another short game, more of a linear story this time. It was made for Nanoreno, so the dev only had 5 days to make everything. It was only 10-minute long and had the dev more time to develop the story more, I think it would have been a pretty decent work. The art is pretty nice, and the reveal was not all that bad, although my emotional connection to the character's feelings suffered from my short exposure to the story.

I also started Needy Streamer Overload and it's been so fun! It's definitely keeping me past my screen time limit but it's been a while since I've been this addicted to a game. It's somewhat dark and if you're not in a good space mentally, I wouldn't recommend it. I'm almost done with all the 22 endings! I can't wait for another game from the same devs called Yunyun Syndrome!? Rhythm Psychosis to release. I'm SO excited for that one specifically, since I can properly relate to the protagonist's struggles more (though that's not a good thing, necessarily LOL)

As commissioned by @diowatcher, I've been watching Serial Experiments Lain and I'm currently on episode 6. It's getting extra trippy right now, and I'm enjoying it a lot! The opening is so gooooood, I can't believe I had never heard it before. I've also been listening to the opening to Revolutionary Girl Utena and aagh it's so good! I'm adding it to my anime list.

And finally, I watched the 2020's The Boys in the Band yesterday. It was SO GOOD!! I had no idea this was a cinema adaptation of the Broadway revival, but it makes so much sense; it reminds me of the Falsettos stage revival, though that one doesn't have a movie adaptation, as far as I'm aware.

Anyway, it was truly a queer movie—as depressing as ever. It was an open ending too, ugh! I have a love/hate with queer works, as they have only started to become a bit more lighthearted these past years. I love these darker stories, but they also leave me bleeding (figuratively.) This is going to my favorites!

And that is all for last week! Let's see what this one brings us~

[fujoreads]

Going through changes

Hello everybody, welcome back! I haven't been active these past few weeks and I apologize. When I started this blog, I wanted to be super productive and do a full review for each single book, but I'm slowly starting to realize that maybe that isn't working.

While the ones I did write were good and I enjoyed writing them, I'm thinking of trying something simpler and more practical for me. Instead of big tasks like full reviews, I will merely have a "reads of the week/month" and a shorter commentary on each title.

I am not sure how to do this yet: on one hand, I would love to do a weekly post updating my readings; on the other hand, I don't want to pressure myself again like I'm used to do. I want reading to flow naturally, and right now, that is working, even if I'm not making an over-the-top progress.

I will try to update the blog every week, but if I can't, I can't. Instead, I will only promise to write the monthly post, so you can see the weekly updates as "bonus content" :p

So, since today is Sunday, let's have a Weekly Update!

I was meaning to review some past reads but at this point, I don't think my memory will make them justice, so I'll include them here.

Past Reads

✦ . 　⁺ 　✦ FICTION ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

She's Too Pretty to Burn by Wendy Heard ⇢ 3.75⭐

Waiting for Ted by Marieke Bigg ⇢ 4⭐

Before the Coffee Gets Cold: Tales from the Café by Toshikazu Kawaguchi ⇢ 3.50⭐

I took a job as a Fire lookout in the middle of the woods, I found a strange set of rules to follow ⇢ 3.50⭐

O Vício dos Livros by Afonso Cruz ⇢ 3.50⭐ // pretty sure this one doesn't have an English translation! He's my favorite Portuguese author :)

A Contradição Humana by Afonso Cruz ⇢ 3.25⭐// another PT read, this one is more of a children's book

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── NON-FICTION ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Não É Só Sangue by Patrícia Lemos ⇢ 3⭐ // another PT read, but this was kinda boring. Maybe I just wasn't too into it?

How to Reduce Your Carbon Footprint by Ellen Tout ⇢ 3.75⭐// It was good, though I will only check on this when I have my own house.

₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ VISUAL NOVELS ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊

Blood Domination ⇢ 4.25⭐

I Wanna Fuck my Mom's Best Friend ⇢ 3.25⭐// review

Bunny Girl Cumming for my Carrot ⇢ 3.25⭐

Hentai Homewrecker ⇢ 2.75⭐

Cosplay Cumdump: Doing it Doujin Style ⇢ 3.25⭐

Ara Ara Auntie Incest ⇢ 2.50⭐

In a way, some of these titles (the really porny-sounding ones, usually) are for my 'work', but I still want to count them here because they do take time to get through.

Currently Reading

The Unwomanly Face of War by Svetlana Alexiévich {non-fiction, female and soviet POV of the WW2} ⇢ 75% // So far, loving it! It's soul-crushing, though...

What Is to Be Done? by Nikolai Chernyshevsky {fiction, Tsarist Russia; aka the book that inspired Lenin and the Soviet Revolution} ⇢ 33% // I DNF-ed this at some point, but I'm trying to finish it now. It's aight, my hype was waaaaay up there when I bought it.

Sexcalibur: Knights of the Pound Table {VN, smut} // I'm starting this today!

The Fruit of Grisaia {VN} ⇢ 15% // Common route finished, time to go to Michiru's!!

Umineko: When They Cry {VN, big chonker} ⇢ Chapter 6 (75%) // Ugh I stalled this way too much... and it's not even boring!! What am I doing... time to finish this once and for all! At least this sixth chapter, that is.

And that is it! Hopefully you haven't given up on me,,, orz

[fujoreads]

Hey there! Since you wanted to watch the anime serial experimental lain, there´s actually a visual novel for the PS1 available online. I want you to review it but i don´t know how to tip you (silly me) so i´m just leaving the name of the website here for you to check it out (and then tell me how to send the money if you want to review it.) -laingame- Hope you like it!

Agh, such a late reply!! So sorry orz

Thank you so much, though! I had heard of it, though I have yet to watch the anime :) It's still on my plan-to-watch but your words have motivated me, so I think I'll try to watch it soon~

If you wanna tip, you can just go here (https://ko-fi.com/fuyoreads) and donate! Maybe it wasn't as intuitive on the posts, but I hope this helps <3

I'm super happy I actually got someone interested enough to actually tip me!! ＼(≧▽≦)／

[fujoreads]

Bloodchild by Octavia E. Butler // Review

CW: gore, insects/bugs, birth, animal death, pregnancy & mpreg

I’m slowly writing reviews for my past reads, but it’s difficult to find time and energy when you’re so busy… ah well, I did find it now.

This time, I’m writing about Bloodchild. This is an old short story from the 80s, if I’m not mistaken. It’s really short, and I read it in one day—two sittings, to be exact. Took me about an hour to finish.

Bloodchild is a sci-fi alien story about codependent relationships, I would dare say. It does have a fair amount of gorey descriptions, which also involve maggot-esque beings. So if you are grossed out by gore or insects, do stay away.

I remember finding this one through a podcast. I think it was either Reading Glasses or Currently Reading, but I’m not quite certain. I was sold and since it was pretty short, I gave it a shot last month.

This book left me thinking more than some longer books I’ve read so far—with only 30 pages! It’s something that occupies my mind, the dynamic amongst people and how codependent relationships can form.

It also works amazingly as a sci-fi, and I’m saying this as someone who almost never reads sci-fi. It’s not that I dislike it or anything, but the tech or alien aspect of it never drew me in. However, this approach less tech-heavy and more pure survival and suspense. This with the gore scenes worked wonderfully.

There’s one visual novel I’ve been meaning to read that is also sci-fi and very gorey… I might give that one a shot soon! It’s called DeadΩAegis, in case we have interested folks reading this.

Plot

Years ago, a group known as the Terrans left Earth in search of a life free of persecution. Now they live alongside the Tlic, an alien race who faces extinction; their only chance of survival is to plant their larvae inside the bodies of the humans. When Gan, a young, boy, is chosen as a carrier of Tlic eggs, he faces an impossible dilemma: can he really help the species he has grown up with, even if it means sacrificing his own life?

This story surpassed all my expectations and it’s one of the phew books with gorey scenes in it that I found intriguing. I usually love gore in Visual Novels but other than that, I absolutely hate it.

The way the horrific scenes played out almost lovingly made it seem… poetic. The way the human part was used to being put into these positions made it seem more normal and more scarring all the same.

With every story, there’s always the risks of dragging through the middle part—more so with short ones, which are usually more compact. However, this one got me hooked and interested from beginning to end! It was definitely more character-driven, but we also learn a lot about the world where our MC lives in and the alien species with him.

Characters

I wouldn’t say Gan is the most important character here. He is the protagonist, but for this type of story, every character plays their role. It’s Gan who leads the narrative, but it’s only thanks to his mother, his siblings, and even his alien partner and guardian that he behaves the way he does.

I love the way his character is built throughout the book. He is clearly codependent on the Tlic and doesn’t understand his mother’s behavior… until he does. The way his perspective changes but remains consistent with his worldview is what sold me on this book in the end.

Writing

The writing was pretty good and easy to understand! I am sometimes intimidated by older books as I start to think it’s going to be either boring or complicated (or both), but this one read like a modern release! In fact, I didn’t know this was from the 80s until I started writing this review. It really surprised me!

Worldbuilding

This world is set in a distand planet, although I wouldn’t guess it in the book. Maybe it just has been long since I’ve read it, but it just seemed like some desert-esque environment, not a literal different planet.

The world itself was fine, but I was more interested in the lore and how the alien species came to interact with the humans and now coexist—though I wouldn’t say in harmony.

Themes

This is a story full of themes—even the author says so.

For starters, the most obvious one is the codependent relationships between Gan (and the human species) and the Tlic. I like how the author mentions their inspiration from real life parasites. I don’t remember their species name, but they are larvae who hatch from open wounds and you have no option but to wait they hatch and fly away; if you remove them yourself, that part of you will rotten away.

There’s another somewhat funny subject in this storyline: male pregnancy. I never expect mpreg to be an important plot point, especially coming from a book published in the 80s. It’s interesting to explore it from a gender perspective: it’s not like the gender roles are reversed, as the female humans are expected to give birth to humans (so the cycle continues), but now males are expected to carry an alien child. To be more accurate: maggots. This is where the gore comes in, as “giving birth” for this species is a very gruesome event.

Finally, it’s curious how the author starts her commentary at the end by stating this is not a story on slavery. I never thought about that subject. If anything, it felt more like an abusive family dynamic than slavery—maybe that just reflects personal experience, as well as me being white.

Final Thoughts

This was a good ride. It’s short and suspenseful, but also introspective and character-driven. If you want something bizarre and creepy to read in the evening, I would recommend this one!

I may not read more from Butler’s works, but I seriously enjoyed this. It’s a fantastic book for someone who isn’t so sure about science fiction.

Overall, I will give it a a 8/10 or 4 stars!

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Thank you for reading it all to the end! Hey, kind stranger! Would you be so kind and consider giving me a little tip? It can be as low as 3 bucks and it’d make a huuuuuge difference!! If you tip 10€ (or higher), you can dictate my next read and be credited (if you’d like) on that review! Have a nice day!!

[fujoreads]

The Echo Wife by Sarah Gailey // Review

CW: abortion, femicide

I haven't read much this year due to a reading slump, but I think I'm finally over it! With that being said, I finished The Echo Wife in three days (as an audiobook).

This was an enjoyable one and although I expected a much more different tone to the story, it still managed to keep me interested!

I can't really remember how I even know about this book, but it was either through a podcast or reddit. Either way, I'm glad I kept it on my TBR.

I wouldn't say it left me shocked, sad or even confused. It was an average ending, but this book is more about the journey than the destination.

When I read the synopsis and the “thriller” tag on Storygraph, I expected a domestic thriller. However, I don't even know how to categorize this… I wouldn't say “domestic thriller” is accurate at all, maybe not even “thriller” at all. It can be suspenseful at times, but it didn't make me super nervous or anything. I don't often read thrillers so who knows, maybe I'm just not used to the genre.

Plot

For a quick synopsis, imagine your husband cheats on you… with yourself. Confusing, right? Well, that's because it's your clone, who also got pregnant. So yeah, things get pretty messy.

It's funny that I expected this to be way more thrilling and intense but instead, we get a stressful character-driven story. Sure, we get introduced to the world of cloning, but that only serves as a tool to characterize our main characters (our protagonist especially).

I enjoyed this story as an audiobook at 2x speed, just for reference. It was only at 20% of the story that I felt the thrill coming to aid the pacing. Yes, it was a bit slow at the beginning to the point that I thought it was a different book altogether since I had no idea what the context for the first chapters were. I was pretty much lost. To be fair, I tend to read the books on my TBR long after I forget all about them and then I don't read the synopsis first, going in as blindly as possible.

Although you get the story going at 20%, it feels like the climax chapters were rather rushed, only happening at around 80% in. Maybe it's just me, but THAT is super stressful to me LOL

Overall, I enjoyed the way they approached patriarchal views on women and how that was implemented into the main story.

Characters

As a character-driven story, the characters themselves were definitely the focal point! At first, the protagonist seemed like a lot to handle, and I could see her flaws as clear as day. And, although we begin see everything from her point of view, it's easy to see how the development of her relationship to her ex-husband was not just his fault but instead a lack of communication and a lack of attention to each party. I usually loathe the miscommunication trope but this one was good enough that it added to their characters.

We not only get development for Evelyn, we also get one for Martine and a quick semi-development for Nathan, the ex-husband.

Writing, Worldbuilding & Themes

The writing was adequate for the type of story, and it did well in expressing the type of person the protagonist was: pragmatic, career-first and quite cold when needed.

I mentioned this before, but I enjoyed the way cloning was introduced and the ethics of human will. I found the whole procedure behind the creation of a clone super interesting!

The general theme for this would be predestination vs free will, or nature vs nurture. Are we bound by our genetics or can we break free to be our own person, even when we are a literal clone?

Final Thoughts

Overall, this was a very enjoyable read after a reading slump. The audiobook was especially nice to listen to, with the whole pacing and personality to the narrator’s voice.

I wasn't expecting to become friendly with who I thought at first to be one of the main antagonists, and I certainly wasn't expecting such character development from our MC. All done and said, this was a great read!

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Thank you for reading it all to the end! Hey, kind stranger! Would you be so kind and consider giving me a little tip? It can be as low as 3 bucks and it’d make a huuuuuge difference!! If you tip 10€ (or higher), you can dictate my next read and be credited (if you’d like) on that review! Have a nice day!!

[fujoreads]

Advika and the Hollywood Wives by Eliza Clark // Review

To realize one dream is to have lost another, perhaps forever.

CW: Age Gap; Sexism; Christianity bigotry; Grief; Death of sibling (not a spoiler)

It's 1AM and I am writing the draft for this book’s review. Don't worry, this is not the day I finished the book—I let it sit for a few days instead.

I remember first listening about this book from a podcast whose name I don't recall. The host sold it to me right away, and before I knew it, I added it to my TBR. Welp!

I haven't heard much from this one, so I don't think there's a huge following for Ramisetti’s works? It was completely by chance, so I thank yet again for this mystery podcast who recommended me this.

The ending was quite anticlimatic, but the climax scene was what hyped me up to finish it (as it should) so fast.

I don't usually read domestic mysteries, and it was particularly shocking that as I kept reading and expected the thriller genre for the story, it instead takes a more mystery facet midway through.

Plot

At age 26, Advika Srinivasan considers herself a failed screenwriter. To pay the bills and keep her mind off of the recent death of her twin sister, she’s taken to bartending A-list events, including the 2015 Governors Ball, the official afterparty of the Oscars. There, she meets the legendary Julian Zelding—a film producer as handsome as Paul Newman and ten times as powerful—fresh off his fifth best picture win. Despite their 41-year age difference, Advika falls helplessly under his spell. Advika is enthralled by Julian’s charm and luxurious lifestyle, but while Julian loves to talk about his famous friends and achievements, he smoothly changes the subject whenever his previous relationships come up. Then, a month into their marriage, Julian’s first wife dies, and a tabloid reports a shocking stipulation in her will. A single film reel and $1,000,000 will be bequeathed to “Julian’s latest child bride” on one condition: Advika must divorce him first.

This plot is full of mixed feelings for me. On one hand, I enjoyed the overall execution and would say it’s a good mystery story. On the other hand, I think the cast could have been better explored, especially when it comes to Julian and the other ex-wives. There is a specific one that was completely forgotten, only being mentioned… thrice? I don’t even remember her name, so that says something about her importance.

The pacing for this was a bit all over the place. It was fast paced, but its mystery wasn’t. Although I felt some tension and suspicion from Julian during the first 30% of the book, it was only midway through that we get the mystery trigger: the shocking will from Julian’s first wife, now dead.

I was enjoying the story so far, but the fact that we were only getting started on the mystery 50% in bothered me. How would the other 50% be spent? Well, I got my answer and I think there could have been some improvements.

For starters, I think the initial honeymoon phase could have been cut short, so it wouldn’t take half the book. I wanted this book to be focused on not just Advika but also the other ex-wives. Instead, we get pages and pages of Julian and Advika’s sexy times: while this builds their relationship and dynamic and it is needed, I found it a bit much at times.

His life story flooded onto the screen, but it was soon interrupted by a phone call from an unknown number. Advika declined it, only for another one to follow, and another after that. Then came a text from Julian: Don’t pick up the phone, don’t talk to anyone. Stay there, I’m coming to you.

From the book description on the podcast, I was also expecting a sort of domestic thriller, so I was very much disappointed when I only got a mystery and a weak one at that. I think part of this is how Julian’s character is built, but we also notice the plot rushes through the plot, and it feels like there were no challenges—whenever there were, it never felt stressful or catastrophic.

Criticisms aside, I enjoyed how this time, the other women aren’t our enemies. It’s female solidarity and I’m all here for it! I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen this type of trope being used, but I never get tired of it. However, as I mentioned before, I WISH the other women could have appeared more often and played a more active role in the story.

Writing

I really liked the writing! Both the narration and the dialogue are easy to follow and full of emotion. I particularly enjoyed how Advika’s observations are expressed through the narration.

The writing is full of personality and commentary on Advika’s part, and because of that, you fly through the chapters!

The way Ramisetti describes the senses is fantastic, to the point that it feels like you are invading her privacy. You can feel the pressure of Julian’s grip, the expensive perfume Advika wears, the description of Julian’s nude body. I even felt anxious, while “watching” them in their intimate scenes. Don’t worry though, the writing isn’t explicit.

Worldbuilding

It’s funny how Julian is always travelling around the world and wants to take Advika with him, and yet most of the book is set inside his house. We get to explore the entire house, and this only serves to further intensify Advika’s alienation in her own life, both as a person and a wife.

Advika’s escapades are probably the most fun and thrilling scenes to follow, but they don’t last long and don’t have any damning consequences.

Characters

Advika, being our protagonist, is a very relatable person. Not necessarily in all aspects, as I myself am very much white (well, not by US standards). However, she is lost in life and grief, both for her dreams and for her twin sister, Anu. I don’t have the best relationship with my family and sister, but I can understand the pain of losing an important part of you, being twins and all.

I’ve been trying to outrun my emotions, stuff them away in a box, or turn my life upside down just to escape them. And I’m exhausted. I can’t do it anymore. But at the same time, I don’t know what to do with myself either.

I enjoy her overall characters and development over the book, but I do wish she played a more active role in the story. It feels like she’s only active around 70% in, and that may be the reason it felt so rushed towards the end. I like how she is confronted by reality as she relies on others who, unlike her, have bills to pay and other worries. This is the same thing that bothers me, though. The way she was written, it feels like she did a 180 and started acting like a rich lady when that’s not who she really is. Sure, this is talked about in the book and I appreciate that, but it still felt uncanny.

Julian is a weird character to unpack. Let me just get this out of the way first: the way I first pictured him, I thought he was latino from his name alone, for some reason. That stayed with me until their make-out session in the car, and it embarasses me still. Julian is a lost opportunity, in my humble opinion. There were some very well-written aspects to him, like how he manipulates Advika’s action and thoughts, but his main motivations for the whole mystery fall flat, like the writer got lazy. While there are a lot of men like Julian, I was expecting a greater villain out of him. The way he explains his reason to marry Advika and have a family with her is very superficial and… normal? Don’t get me wrong, he’s still a shitty character for what he did, but it sure was anticlimatic.

Olive certainly grew on me, pretty much reflecting Advika’s opinon on her. I like how she’s Advika’s voice of reason and at the same time the person who indirectly puts her in this whole mess. This idea that OIive is somehow responsible for Advika’s situation is also explored through their relationship and dialogue, and I enjoyed it a lot.

The other cast (even Anu) was overshadowed by Advika’s worries. The Oaks were only there as a way to represent Advika’s safety net and only served their purpose to help her. I enjoyed Vik’s presence in the final chapters, even if he didn’t appear much.

I mentioned this a bunch of times already, but it bugs me the “Hollywood Wives”, being in the title and all, play a very passive role in this mystery. They mostly serve as leads to Advika and nothing more, although I will admit: the way Advika finds more about them enables them to have their own story, which I enjoy. Well, except that one forgotten “abomination” (Julian’s words, not mine) which I wanted to find out more about but never did. I was even expecting it to be a shocking plot twist, but nope! Such a wasted element.

Themes

The whole book feels like a social commentary in story format, but I don’t think it’s a bad thing. It doesn’t feel preachy and the themes are well integrated in the plot, although some plot aspect are a bit shoehorned. The theme of Christianity and religious opression is one I would have loved to see more of, instead of being used as a quick explanation to some questions.

These women were a constellation in her sky, and even if some of the stars had burned out long ago, their light still traveled through the darkness to reach her.

However, I loved how this book touches on the way white men can control women both through their power, influence, gender, and race. It’s a colonial dynamic which still persists to this day: the fetishism and need of control.

Final Thoughts

Overall, this was a nice read and felt satisfying enough, albeit cut short.

If you enjoy domestic mysteries and Hollywood settings, you’ll probably enjoy this. Expect a light mystery with heavy themes.

If you are looking for a non-white author or non-white cast/protagonist, this is also a very good choice!

In a general sense, I’d say this deserves 3.5/5 stars.

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Thank you for reading it all to the end! Hey, kind stranger! Would you be so kind and consider giving me a little tip? It can be as low as 3 bucks and it’d make a huuuuuge difference!! If you tip 10€ (or higher), you can dictate my next read and be credited (if you’d like) on that review! Have a nice day!!

[fujoreads]

Boy Parts by Eliza Clark // Review

I wonder what I have to do for people to recognise me as a threat. Do I have to smash a glass over the head of every single man I come into contact with, just so I leave a mark?

CW: Rape & SA; Grooming

Boy Parts was one book I was quite hyped to read. I remember first listening about it in a podcast (no idea which) and I just had to read it.

This book is more of a deep dive into Irina’s (our protagonist) psyche and past, and how trauma shapes who we are—especially when we don’t have an emotional support system in our life.

I was fearing this to be another Perfume, where I’d think the big final twist was the main concept. However, the way this is written, you understand the more shocking things are out of focus for most of the book.

I remember finishing the book and just taking it all in. It was weirdly calming, even after the mix of chaos that was Irina’s daily life and the big revelations during the final part of the book. This is one of those books in which you don’t know how to feel. I personally enjoyed it, but I wouldn’t know how to recommend this, just like My Year of Rest and Relaxation—another book I enjoyed, though not as much.

Compared to others of the same subgenre, I don’t see a lot of talk about this title. Granted, I don’t surf booktube or booktok, but I did find it weird to have only heard of it once in a podcast. I hope more people talk about it, because I sure love weird books.

Plot

This is a book I find hard to recommend. A lot of people enjoy likable or more neutral protagonists, and Irina is NOT one of them. She is nasty, hard to like, and her inner commentary is even worse.

You’ll be thrown into her world, which revolves around going out at night, drugs and random SA, followed by a hangover and barely eating anything nutritious to begin with. It’s been a while since I’ve read this, but I’m pretty sure Irina doesn’t mention having an eating disorder—as obvious as it is. I had a hard time getting through the introduction and setup, as it was just all so vile and I felt sad for the entire cast. Maybe I’m just not a night person, but the idea of filling your nights out of your mind and waking up with the worst headache in ages doesn’t sound like “fun” to me.

For the rest of the story, though, we follow a bunch of flashbacks as Irina recalls a lot of older photography projects for a client. We also follow her in the present, but it’s mostly as a way to dive even deeper into her character, and not as a way to advance the plot itself (we have parallel stories being told, one from within Irina, the other in the present.)

The climax, I would say, occupies the entire last third of the book. The final chapters are all full of adrenaline and things happening all at once, but because the story is so focused on Irina as a character, you don’t even care too much for what is happening. Hell, it doesn’t even feel like the book is ending when it does.

Characters

As I mentioned before, this is a very character-driven story and it shows.

We follow Irina and her life, both her past and present: in a way, it makes us also consider her future. I’ve met some Irinas in my life, in one way or another. Of course, I’ve never befriended one—we wouldn’t last either way.

Many criticisms I see for this book is that it’s too white, since this is from the POV of a white woman and her personal struggles. I think this is a valid criticism and why someone could dislike the book, but I also think it’s intentional. For starters, I’m pretty sure the author is white and maybe she didn’t feel comfortable enough to go so deep into the psyche of a non-white woman and possibly messing up. In a way, too, I see Irina’s character as a satire of the typical white woman, just as much as I see an alienated and traumatized woman. She deals with feeling “old” (even just being in her thirties, which never fails to sadden me) and sexualized at the same time, since she is very conventionally attractive. Her sexualization is an interesting aspect of her, since they seem part of just who she is at first, and then you learn how early trauma and grooming has affected her mentality on sex(uality), people, and art.

I especially enjoyed her best friend Flo and Eddie. Flo reminds me of so many people on Twitter and Tumblr, only virtue signaling and not realizing their own faults—even if their intentions are good.

Since I mentioned virtue signaling, I must say I find quite interesting how Irina’s jaded and apparently cynical mind comments on “woke topics”. She reminds me a lot of people online, not caring who they offend—I don’t mean this as a good thing. She’s depressing to follow, but that’s the point. The way she casually talks about her grooming experience without acknowledging how traumatizing it was and even joking about it is a huge sign of how emotionally stunted she is.

But it must be if I’ve said it, because I’m the worst mother in the whole world, aren’t I? Just the horrible bitch who nursed you, and bathed you, and who pays your rent.

Irina’s mother doesn’t appear often, but when she does, I sure remember her. She’s just like a amplified version of my own mother I do not enjoy experiencing more than I need to, so she felt particularly stressful to handle.

Writing

I feel like there’s something sharp, and crunchy, in my mouth. Something sharp; I spit it into my palm, but all I get is a chewed lump of white bacon fat. The waiter asks me if I’m alright.

If there’s something that sticks with me, is the writing of a fiction book. Usually, discussing the writing is my achilles' heel, since I don’t have much to talk about. However! As the quote shows, Eliza Clark has a very sensorial type of writing, which I love. One of the reasons I felt so disturbed and sad during the introductory chapters of the book was the way sensations were described: the throbbing DJ music; the smells of beer and alcohol; the sticky walls and wet toilets. The way visual scenes are written are my favorite of all.

Sometimes it would be Will in the doorway, sometimes a red cat with the fucking bell. Sometimes, a different boy, younger, with dark hair and scars, choking. I knew him. (...) He dissolved around the corner of the small doorway. I couldn’t follow him. I went back into the toilet, where I saw his face in the water, swirling away with the flush.

Another thing I enjoyed is how sensual—sexual, even—her gaze is. Yes, the gaze. A lot of discussion on art is how the male gaze affects the characterization of both male and female characters, and Irina is the perfect example of an unabashedly sexual female gaze, eye-fucking her victims even before anything happens. It’s uncomfortable and feels borderline violating, and it’s all intentional.

Worldbuilding

The story is set in both Newcastle and London, and I feel like some things were lost on me, not being from the UK at all.

However, I did enjoy how the social and economic dynamics were incorporated into the settings, due to Irina’s Northern origins. It’s an interesting take that a lot of people don’t take into account: how even amongst white people, there is geographical discrimination, which usually goes hand in hand with classicism (the North is seen as the poorer part of the UK).

Themes

This book tackled a lot of issues, from the way women are not taken seriously or even seen as a danger by men—no matter how crazy things get. There were scenes, especially towards the end, where I was getting just as exasperated and confused as Irina, when even after physically endangering someone, the other party not taking it seriously and playing it off like it was nothing.

This also plays into her obsession with keeping her body sensual and desirable to men, as a way to still feel worthy and seen. It’s ironic, since her appearances are exactly what makes it so hard for men to see her as a danger.

Eddie is an interesting way to show this. She feels attracted to him for his defenseless and shy behavior, and this is exactly what makes everything fall apart so fast. He gets entranced by her and their dynamic almost feels like Irina is grooming Eddie into becoming her plaything. Which works, to a degree. Eddie is the perfect example of how sexual and physical assault can be normalized by both society and the victim when it’s done by a conventionally attractive woman. Irina being so sexual is very important to her character and it’s fascinating to observe how it manifests during the entire book, from her teen years (and how the grooming started) to her adult life.

A lot of things made me very uncomfortable, but they weren’t just shock value. For every little thing that happened, we learned more about Irina and that was the point—how your internalize trauma and how that can leave you jaded and shape the way you see your worth, your body, and how you even see love (the romantic kind).

Final Thoughts

This read gave me a lot to talk about, but if I had to summarise: this is a deep dive into an exasperated woman’s mind and how trauma can shape your whole thinking. The writing is crude and realistic but jaded and there’s a lot of themes to make us reflect on various issues.

Personally, I love flawed protagonists and cast, so this was a great read for me, even if heavy at times. It’s one of those reads that made me stay a bit too late reading, so definitely a page-turner!

If you don’t enjoy unlikeable characters or crude ways of showing heavy issues, I wouldn’t recommend this. You’ll just have a bad time.

While I’m not too into crime as a subgenre, I enjoyed Eliza Clark’s writing and tone so much I may give her Penance a try! She’s Always Hungry sounds fairly interesting, although I’m not too keen on short stories.

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Thank you for reading it all to the end! Hey, kind stranger! Would you be so kind and consider giving me a little tip? It can be as low as 3 bucks and it’d make a huuuuuge difference!! If you tip 10€ (or higher), you can dictate my next read and be credited (if you’d like) on that review! Have a nice day!!

[fujoreads]

If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio // Review

Heey it’s been a while!!!

I have been busy writing for Fuwanovel (you can check my VN reviews there!) and because of that, both my reading and reviewing got delayed :( But I'm finally writing this one.

I finished If We Were Villains on January 18th and I chose its audiobook version. Even with a personal pet peeve I discovered listening to this, it was a good experience.

CW: murder, toxic relationships, violence, body horror & drug (ab)use

I love me some dramatic tragedy and tragic queer stories, but for some reason every time I tried to read a story around literal theater, it never worked out. Maybe it’s because I’m not a theater kid.

If We Were Villains is all about theater and how a group of friends is shaped by the roles they play on stage and out of it. If you are a theater kid, you’re probably going to enjoy this, but if you’re like me, you can still enjoy it! It definitely grew on me.

I don’t remember where I found this, but I think it was recommended to me somewhere a long time ago. I have this tag called “be gay do crimes” to which I add the most horrible, tragic queer books or book with that vibe, queer or not. The way the book was described, it fit the bill, so I added it there—it was mostly thanks to that that I read it before the others. And yes, I’d say it fits.

It’s been weeks since I’ve finished it but I can still remember how empty and reflective it made me feel. I just love the main relationship dynamic (that will become more and more central to the plot as the book progresses) and how it makes me think of one certain relationship in my own life. For the sake of not spoiling the book, I won’t mention anything else.

I haven’t seen any reviews or comments about this book, but I just bet they are mostly super positive. I mean, this is just perfect for the booklr and booktube community. I think that if I had read this years before, I would have loved it so much more.

I definitely didn’t expect this to be so character-driven. I thought there would be more action, but nope! It’s mostly “slice of life” in a more tense way—but it takes a while to begin.

Plot

Oliver Marks has just served ten years in jail – for a murder he may or may not have committed. On the day he's released, he's greeted by the man who put him in prison. Detective Colborne is retiring, but before he does, he wants to know what really happened a decade ago. As one of seven young actors studying Shakespeare at an elite arts college, Oliver and his friends play the same roles onstage and off: hero, villain, tyrant, temptress. But when the casting changes, and the secondary characters usurp the stars, the plays spill dangerously over into life, and one of them is found dead. The rest face their greatest acting challenge yet: convincing the police, and themselves, that they are blameless.

The beginning and setup was a bit confusing, I must admit. I was still struggling to understand who was who and how everything fit into place, especially since we change time and places all the time (from present to the past.) The audiobook was not helpful either, since everytime a character changed, the narrator would say their name, like in a play. Was it intentional? Witty, but still annoying.

The book had a bit of slow start, but once it got the tension going, it went places. I do have to admit that the drama was a bit much for some of the scenes. I don’t mind dramatic scenarios but there’s only so much I can take before it starts being a bit silly. There were parts were that line was somewhat crossed, but I was too invested at that point.

The final arc was the best when it comes to character development, but the story did get a bit stalled at some points, since it’s such a character-driven book. It was a lot of Oliver thinking to himself, and not a lot really happening…? Let me correct myself: there were things happening, but nothing that screamed for my attention.

While the story certainly escalated during the middle part (and conflict arc), it didn’t feel like a climax or peak of action during most of it. There were some high-anxiety scenes but other than that, it’s like it returned to the beginning of the book, except it’s now a bit tense.

Characters

Oliver is a bit of an odd one. On one hand, I am used to YA protagonists who are all feelings and no thoughts. On the other hand, I appreciate his character and mentality. It feels more real, even if the scenes of him and Meredith were awkward for me to listen to. It felt… forced.

One of the things I was looking forward to was the queer relationships and dynamics (remember the tag?) and while the final arc did deliver on what I was looking for in way I didn’t expect, the rest of the book was very… well, very straight. Look, I’m not saying it can’t have straight romance in it, but I did have certain expectations and the fact that two of the male characters had so much tension at a certain point and that was very poorly explored until last minute was unfortunate. It felt like the dynamic between Meredith and Oliver was forced, kind of like the Pair the Spares trope.

Other than Oliver and Meredith, it felt like the other friends were more in the background. James and Alex were barely there; Richard was important throughout the whole story but it didn’t feel like it; I loved Pip’s character but she felt like wasted potential. I wish there was more work done, since this was like focusing on the plot in a character-driven story.

Themes

A lot of concepts and themes were very explicit from the beginning: the masks we wear, and how they can be hard to take out once you get used to the shape.

I enjoyed the way this was portrayed, even if they felt one-dimensional at times as a result. Some masks were more developed than others, and the ones lacking development could be seen from miles. I am aware that unless the book was longer, there would be some sacrifices to be made (and making the book longer could have made it drag too), but it’s still a pity to see such interesting characters remain very one-dimensional, with a sprinkle of more at best.

I do think the way the ending was left open-ended and how it connects to the final arc’s dynamics and relationships was a good move. I personally don’t hate open-ended endings, even if they can sometimes leave me in anguish. I was tearing up by the end of the final chapter.

Final Words

I think this is an average book. It’s entertaining, sometimes poetic, and it may make you emotional at times. Not all books have to be absolute masterpieces.

However, I think this can be much better enjoyed if you read this in your teens instead of how I did it, at 23. I’m just over university and YA-type of drama frustrates me more than it should. Besides, I was way more impressionable back then.

If you’re looking for a TL;DR: entertaining and somewhat poetic at times, can be very thrilling; however, it’s also a bit slow and doesn’t have much action, so if character-driven stories aren’t your thing, you might become bored midway through.

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Thank you for reading it all to the end! Hey, kind stranger! Would you be so kind and consider giving me a little tip? It can be as low as 3 bucks and it’d make a huuuuuge difference!! If you tip 10€ (or higher), you can dictate my next read and be credited (if you’d like) on that review! Have a nice day!!

[fujoreads]

The Summer Hikaru Died Vol. 1 + 2 // Review & Thoughts

I just finished reading volume 2 and realized I did not talk about vol. 1 at all, so let's talk!

The Summer Hikaru Died (story & art by mokomokuren) is a cosmic horror story with a queer-coded complicated relationship, set in rural Japan. Got your interest? Well, you’re in for a ride!

CW: Death; Body & Cosmic Horror; Gay Panic & Homophobia

I honestly don’t remember how I got to know about this… I think someone talked about it in a podcast episode? I remember the concept being very interesting: your friend is gone for a week and when he comes back, it turns out he’s some sort of creature that only our protagonist is aware of.

I read both volumes with a huge time gap—almost an entire year, I think?—and every time I finished one, I was just too stunned to read much of any other thing that day. It’s immersive, it’s creepy, and it has that gay panic vibe only these types of works can give. I love me some fluffy and dramatic romance, but the angsty, scary and out there stuff is what conquers me.

I’ll admit: I thought this was going to be just another BL I’d forget soon enough, so the horror aspect caught me off guard… and I absolutely loved it! It’s intense without being always present. I wouldn’t say it’s psychological horror as the horror is present, but it does not rely on cheap jumpscares. Instead, it builds its tense atmosphere, and the use of cicadas for that is amazing. I remember getting the same anxiety-inducing feeling when reading Higurashi: When They Cry (the visual novel), like the heat is getting to you.

I’m not a huge horror fan. Not that I don’t like it—I love it—but I just can’t find stuff that suits my specific tastes. This one does, and I can’t get enough of it. I love mystery and horror but I hate the kind of horror that relies on visuals to scare the reader. This one managed to have a healthy balance and it serves as the exception.

It has Hikaru’s face. It has Hikaru’s voice. It even has Hikaru’s memories. But whatever came down from the mountains six months ago isn’t Yoshiki’s best friend. Whatever it is, it’s dangerous. Carrying on at school and hanging out as if nothing has changed—as if Hikaru isn’t gone—would be crazy...but when it looks so very like Hikaru...and acts so very like Hikaru…

This story is fantastic. It’s fast-paced, and yet you feel stuck in time, glued to your seat. I sometimes even forgot the background cicada noises I’d play while reading.

This is mysterious, but don’t expect your typical mystery read. This is a slice of life existencial thriller, dealing with bizarre creatures and worst of all—your own feelings.

Mokumokuren’s art is just superb. It’s so unique that if I wasn’t already drawn by the synopsis, I would have read it for the art alone. Not only is the artstyle pleasing to look at, but the way they draw perspectives and play with the shading does wonders to the horror elements.

Also, I have to shoutout to Abigail Blackman (the letterer) and Yen Press! The way the sound effects were inserts in the panels made a world of difference, especially when it comes to the cicada sounds.

The story follows mainly Yoshiki and Hikaru, two best friends in a rural Japanese village. Yoshiki is more of a gloomy kid, while Hikaru (just like his name, “light”) is the sunny, dumb kind. This all changes after the events the synopsis presents, showing Hikaru as more feeling, and even more childish.

These two are so interesting to follow: a co-dependent pair that doesn’t want to admit it and the way this shows through a literal monster is just delicious.

The way Yoshiki feels repulsed towards his friend and his own feelings, while feeling seduced to accept something that might not be so good to him—and yet, it feels right. He misses his friend and feels conflicting feelings towards this new creature inhabiting Hikaru’s body. Is it alright to accept this as Hikaru, or will it never be the same? Are is feelings true when directed to someone who isn’t there anymore?

The way Hikaru tries to come to terms with the meaning for his feelings and what is “Hikaru” and the being’s own identity. His strong feelings of loneliness and feeling overly attached to Yoshiki is something I could definitely relate to.

While there’s nothing explicitely better about queer media, something I’ve noticed is how more subtle and metaphorical dynamics and relationships can be, either because of direct societal prejudice or because of how queer people grow to hide their feelings, in fear of rejection and humiliation. Of course, the latter can also happen with hetero couples, but the feelings of rejection that can lead to co-dependence and loneliness are just that much stronger within the queer sphere, especially amongst gay men—and it’s visceral, to the point of fitting right into the horror realm.

Dealing with the unknown can be scary, and the way mokumokuren portrays this relationship and mixes it with the cosmic horror elements is masterfully done. It feels gross but erotic—like a guilty pleasure you find as a teenager—without ever being pornographic in nature. Hell, there’s not even a kiss or explicit thoughts, it’s all a play of “will they, won’t they” for the readers to munch over. While this is a fast-paced series, it’s also a slow burn when it comes to their relationship.

The writing iself isn’t anything too grand, due to its format. You can’t expect too much of a focus on writing in a visual medium.

I’ll talk about this into more detail in the following paragraphs, but the way the writing mixes with the environment and horror elements is where it peaks. There’s occasional bolding and a play with the font sizes, making it more tense to follow along.

I’ve always loved stories set in rural Japan, but all I’ve read that checked my boxes were set before the 2000s—before smartphones and other modern technologies.

The Summer Hikaru Died is set in contemporaneity and even then, you sometimes forget it. There are occasional shows of a smartphone, and even a mention of the Nintendo Switch, but the rural setting makes it so that feels useless.

When reading Higurashi (which is set in the 80s), I always thought “man, this wouldn’t have happened if they had smartphones” but reading this now, I realize that was a futile thought. Sure, they could use the GPS tracker in moments of panic, or call a friend, but in the moment of fear and paranoia, that could only aggravate a situation. Mokumokuren takes full advantage of that: someone sneaking a glance at a message notification they weren’t supposed to see; being too scared to grab the phone…

The horror elements here were only intensified by the creative use of the format!

The concept for this story by itself isn’t anything unique: things inhabiting our loved ones’ bodies isn’t a new thing. However, the way this trope is used to explore other fears and themes is where it stands out.

The exploration of sexuality mixed with feelings of guilt for both parties; the “what if” scenarios in Yoshiki’s mind that could have saved Hikaru; and the overall way being queer plays into society, especially one such as the rural community in Japan.

It’s not uncommon for queer people to have lost a friend or two, be it to mental health or an STD, and the way homossexuality is sometimes compared to an “illness” by the townfolk, I can see the being inside Hikaru as a personification of his feelings and desires, and how Yoshiki struggles to accept them and his own love.

The series isn’t over, but I strongly recommend checking it out.

The third (and latest) volume comes out in April 16th, and I’m super excited! From the cover alone, it may focus more on the minor cast, such as the group of school friends.

In summary: this is a fast-paced (but slow burn when it comes to the main relationship) horror story, more within the cosmic horror sub-genre. It has BL elements and I personally find it to be the main topic, even if it’s not explicit. If you enjoy these, go for it!

Even if you’re not a fan of BL, I find it interesting and subtle enough most times so even people who aren’t into BL can enjoy it, as long as you enjoy slow-burn horror.

I’ll give all my starts and love to this one, as it’s one of my personal favorites! I’m looking forward to more from mokumokuren!

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Thank you for reading it all to the end! Hey, kind stranger! Would you be so kind and consider giving me a little tip? It can be as low as 3 bucks and it’d make a huuuuuge difference!! If you tip 10€ (or higher), you can dictate my next read and be credited (if you’d like) on that review! Have a nice day!!

[fujoreads]

To Strip the Flesh // Review

To Strip the Flesh is a short tales collection in manga format, containing 5 stories in total—the main one going by the book’s title.

I remember someone mentioning this in a book-related podcast I listen to, but I don’t remember which one. I found it at a bookshop when I went on a little date last year, and I just had to buy it! It took me a while to finally read it, but I’m glad I did.

CW: Gender Dysphoria, Explicit Nudity; Organs; Hunting; Animal death; Sexism; Transphobia; Body Horror

This manga was something else. I may not have the exact same experience as our protagonist Chiaki, but I related so hard I cried—thrice, in fact. I got such a headache from crying I had to end the day that evening. Powerful stuff.

I knew I would probably enjoy it because of the art and the topic of trans issues. I myself am a transmasc bastard, so it’s always nice to see manga talking about these things.

When I finally finished it, I had to pause for a minute or two. For the first half, I read many scenes where I felt dysphoric together with Chiaki, but the way the story ended made me actually try to be stronger and fight for my right to happiness, even if I have to face transphobic doctors on the way.

Chiaki Ogawa has never doubted that he is a boy, although the rest of the world has not been as kind. Bound by his mother’s dying wish, Chiaki tries to be a good daughter to his ailing father. When the burden becomes too great, Chiaki sets out to remake himself in his own image and discovers more than just personal freedom with his transition—he finds understanding from the people who matter most. (The StoryGraph)

Although the main story is this one about Chiaki, there are many others who are also just as enjoyable, albeit shorter.

This tale is condensed in about 100 pages, but packs an emotional punch enough to leave you in tears. It made me realize that I have my own found family and I don’t need to keep living a lie.

The flow of the story may have been somewhat rushed due to its overall length, but it still felt neatly presented. I do wish I could have seen more of Chiaki and the rest of the cast, especially his late mother.

This manga’s artstyle is interesting. It feels very anime, but it does feel different in some aspects, like how soft the eyes are. I really enjoyed it.

As someone with a big chest, I personally related to Chiaki’s struggles and the way it was visually presented was just wonderful.

Chiaki is the son of a hunter (who also butches his own kills). He lives as a closeted trans man and desires not to betray his parents’ wishes for him—to be a bride—hurt as it may. He struggles with trying to impose his masculinity to his father, who refuses to see him as anything else but his daughter, saying how “women don’t hunt”, and never letting him get hurt, seeing him as a frail girl. However, we also see his weaknesses: how he never lets his father know his true feelings, even when his father clearly shows he cares for what he thinks is best to Chiaki. It’s understandable, but also what strains their relationship at some point, even if from Chiaki’s perspective.

It’s so sweet to see Chiaki’s growth after a big moment where he has to make an important decision, both for him and his father, and how that improved their overall relationship.

His father was an interesting character to follow as well, even if we see less of him, and usually accompanied by Chiaki. I wish we could have had more moments with him.

I enjoyed Takato as a friend of Chiaki’s, but while he is sweet and supportive, he’s also a bit annoying. Maybe having him grow more throughout the story instead of a last-minute development would have made him more justice.

This was a lovely read, and not just for the main story. Personally, the Hot Watermelon short story was my second favorite, followed by David in Love.

I got even more excited seeing how Oto Toda, the author, worked as an assistant for Tatsuki Fujimoto on Fire Punch—one of my favorite works ever, as despair-inducing as it was.

If you care about stories centered around trans issues, you’ll certainly like it. It’s also a tale of father-son love, and how old wounds can be treated, even if it seems all too late.

This is a very short story, followed by other even shorter stories, so if you desire a more detailed and lengthy tale, you might not enjoy this. It’s a powerful narrative, but it’s rushed at times and unless you personally relate to Chiaki’s struggles, you might feel less emotionally affected.

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Thank you for reading it all to the end! Hey, kind stranger! Would you be so kind and consider giving me a little tip? It can be as low as 3 bucks and it’d make a huuuuuge difference!! If you tip 10€ (or higher), you can dictate my next read and be credited (if you’d like) on that review! Have a nice day!!