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ghostedghouls · 2 years ago

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Until then..

✢ Plot: Everyone has noticed how Swiss is going absolutely crazy on stage this tour. And I am going to ruin it for everyone and write angst about it because I'm an asshole like that.

or; how swiss handles his fear of abandonment after aether got sent back to the pit.

✢ genre: angst

✢ warnings: panic attack (sort of?)

✢ a/n: this doesn't follow my actual headcanons, i just wanted to explore this idea a bit. Also please don't apply this to the irl situation. This is pure fiction and is not meant to be taken any other way! I write about the fictional characters, not the real life people behind them.

Mountain eyed the multi ghoul carefully from where he was sitting in the dressing room. The other ghoul was heaving and sweaty, his shoulders raising and falling dramatically with each breath.

Mountain waited for the other ghouls to leave before he cornered Swiss.

"What's up with you.", he asked in a serious voice, the multi ghoul jumping slightly. He had clearly been in his thoughts.

"What do you mean?", Swiss asked, pulling a clean shirt over his head, carefully manuvering his horns through the collar.

"On stage.", Mountain said, crossing his arms, "You're... different."

Swiss turned to the earth ghoul fully, cracking his signature smile but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Enjoying the show, big guy?", he tried to joke but Mountain knew something was off. The way Swiss moved, how he held his guitar, how he threw himself to the floor, it all felt... strange. Admittedly, Swiss was known for his weird dances, shimmies and the overall feral-ness when he performed. The fans loved it, too. But something had changed and Mountain couldn't quite put his finger on it, he just knew that it did.

Mountain could see the smile on Swiss' lips waver for a second. It was unlike Swiss to not tell the others if something bothered him. He was tired? He would complain about it. He was mad about something another ghoul did? He would talk it out with the other ghoul to clear the air. He was sad? He would ask for a hug or go to another ghoul's room to cuddle.

Swiss had always been open about how he felt. He knew that communication was key and he was good at it.

"I see you out of the corner of my eyes the whole show. There's just something different about the way you present yourself. Satanas, you literally fell full body into the floor. I have never seen you do that before."

Swiss' smile dropped while Mountain was talking, his eyes distant and lost in thought but he quickly composed himself, scoffing jokingly. "Where have you been for the last years, mounty? I always mess around on stage. It's what the people like about me. I just stepped up my game this tour. People grow tired of the same old shit, they want to see something new and I delivered.", he explained but the earth ghoul didn't buy it. He didn't know whether he should push the multi ghoul, though. If Swiss was not telling him the truth, maybe it was direspectful to pry? Or maybe he was reading too much into it.

"You know you can talk to us if something is upsetting you, right?", the tall ghoul asked and Swiss rolled his eyes with a smile. "Of course. And you know I would if there was actually something wrong. Now go to the others, I'm gonna need a little longer."

Mountain had not pried after that. He just watched Swiss as the shows went on, watched how he moved, how he acted.

And it still didn't sit right with him.

Each ritual, Swiss got worse. He would throw himself to the floor, would drop to his knees like he was in pain, holding his head. The fans loved every second of it, liking the act of the feral ghoul he was portraying. But after each show, Swiss would stumble to the dressing rooms, clearly exhausted. He was very obviously unwell.

The rest of the ghouls had noticed the change in his performance as well, had asked Swiss why he was trying to be an overachiever recently. Swiss had grown visibly irritated by their teasing and had left to his bunk early. The other ghouls had exchanged confused looks but they just figured that they had hurt his ego.

"What was up with that?", Dewdrop had asked, kicking his feet up on the table, the joint he had been sharing with Swiss between his fingers.

"Maybe he's actually hurt.", Rain tried, "He's really been giving his all on stage lately."

"Yeah," Cumulus agreed, "He's soaked when he leaves the stage. I've never seen him so worn out after a show until this tour."

The others had responded with hums of agreement, wondering what had changed.

"Maybe he is trying to distract himself.", Mountain said, all eyes trained on him as he spoke. "From.. you know.. what happened with Aether.". The silence that followed was filled with sadness and grief.

"Maybe.", Rain whispered, his eyes staring into nothingness as his heart felt heavy in his chest.

That night Swiss laid awake in his bed, staring at the ceiling with tired eyes, but sleep eluded him.

He felt shaky even as he laid completely still. Maybe it was the last bit of weed flowing through his body, or maybe his body was just really exhausted from today's ritual.

He had heard the others talk about Aether after he had left and an uncomfortable feeling had spread through his chest. His heart had started hammering like he was being chased, his body suddenly so sweaty he had to remove the blanket. Fear. True and utter fear crashed through the multi ghoul as he laid in his bed, thinking about Aether. Swiss felt wetness prickle in his eyes but he blinked it away quickly.

Aether had always given his all, had played the guitar skillfully and had entertained the crowd. But still it wasn't enough. Still, he got sent back to the pit.

Maybe...- Maybe if Swiss tried harder, gave everything he's got, he would be safe. Safe from being sent back to the pit. Safe from being abandoned.

He started shaking harder, his heart pounding painfully in his ribcage. Fuck, he had to be better. He had to perform better than before, had to charm the crowd, had to show Papa that he was good at what he was doing.

Had to prove that he was worthy of being there.

He quickly turned to his side, hoping that the change in position would stop the shaking at least, but it didn't.

Maybe he could try to make the fans love him as much as possible. He could be lewd, could be a flirt, so that they cheered the loudest for him. Maybe then the clergy would know that he was devoted enough. That he was the right ghoul for this!

His tail curled around his leg for comfort but instead he started to feel claustrophobic. He quickly released it from around himself but it didn't help. He felt like the bunk was closing in on him, like he would get squished if he didn't move, like he would- oh satanas he would- surely not- he would not-

With a gasp Swiss leapt out from his bunk, landing noisily on the floor of the bus, his heart still racing in his chest. Sweat dripped down his neck and he felt the eyes of his mates on him.

His shoulders heaved with each painful breath and he nearly collapsed when he felt a hand on his back. He whirled around in shock instead, looking into the worried eyes of Mountain.

"Swiss.", he started, his voice calm and collected but clearly worried for his packmate. "Come here.", was all he whispered before dragging the multi ghoul into a tight hug. He didn't return it at first, but slowly his hands found the taller ghoul's back. After a minuted Mountain released Swiss from his embrace and watched him with sad eyes.

Mountain didn't speak, he knew the words laid on Swiss' tongue.

"I-..." Swiss looked up at Mountain, his eyes filled with tears. "I am afraid."

Mountain's warm hand returned to Swiss' shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze. "What are you afraid of?", the earth ghoul asked carefully.

"That what happened to Aether could happen to me.", he admitted and his voice broke in the middle.

Mountain swallowed his own emotions as he encouraged Swiss to continue speaking.

"Aether was good. Aether was liked by the crowd. And yet-..." A deep breath. "And yet, he was sent back like he was nothing. Like he was just another ghoul working for the clergy. How do I know it will not happen to me? What if one day Papa wakes up and I am not good enough anymore? What if one day, they find some other multi ghoul because they want something 'fresh', something 'new' and 'exciting'?"

The other ghouls stared in silence. Swiss was right. Each of them could be replaced any day. There was no knowing what Sister Imperator or the higher glercy members had planned. There had been no sign that Aether would have to leave. It had happened out of nowhere. Hell, even their Papa could get retired by the clergy any second. It had happened in the past and it would surely happen again, they knew that. It didn't make it any less daunting.

"Swiss, there is nothing you can do.", Mountain started. "What happened to Aether could happen to all of us. I know it's scary but no matter how you act, how you present yourself, how much you try to be perfect, it wouldn't change a thing for them. Aether didn't get sent back because he wasn't good enough. He got sent back because the clergy follows some weird plan that we have no knowledge of. There is a possibility that we all will get sent back at one point, yes. But don't ever think it is because you aren't enough."

Swiss felt a weird mixture of dread and calmness. Mountain was right, they could be next any second but it wouldn't mean that he had failed, had not lived up to expectations. It was unavoidable and there was something calming about that.

He nodded, wiping a tear from his cheek with a deep inhale.

"Until then, we have each other."

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ghostedghouls · 2 years ago

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Regarding ao3: thats so weird, im sorry you have had such troubles signing up :/ i personally prefer reading on ao3 over tumblr as it allows me to better keep track of what i read. I dont feel comfortable reblogging fic on my main so they get burried in my likes :( also leaving comments is always nice, which i dont do on tumblr either. But no worries, if tumblr is comfortable for you and works well thats great, ill still be reading your fics :D

Oh, I totally get what you mean! With the reblogs and comments. I guess I'm like that as well hehe. Especially since we can't comment/like separately with our side blogs. Annoys me all the time.

Anyways, I'll definitely try signing up again soon. That has been long overdue with how many years I've been reading on that site haha

Also, thank you very much for reading my stuff, I really appreciate it! :)

#Lets not forget the superior tagging-system either #ask

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ghostedghouls · 2 years ago

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Hello! do you have an ao3/considered posting there?

Hey :D I've actually thought about posting on ao3 before! I have been reading on ao3 since I was very young but for some reason I didn't try to sign up until last year. Only problem; whenever I get the email link that's supposed to take me to the site where you create the acc the link simply doesn't work. Tried again recently; Same thing happened. Idk what the issue is and I always got sidetracked so I didn't investigate any further, though I'm sure it's an easy fix. I might try again soon, though I'm not sure if I'll post there frequently, if at all.

Do you prefer ao3 over tumblr? Just curious! :)

I hope you have a nice day!

#maybe I'm just incompetent haha #ask

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ghostedghouls · 2 years ago

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caught

✢ you get lost in the woods. A certain ghoul finds you and takes what he craves.

✢ pairing: Swiss x reader (f)

✢ genre: smut

✢ warnings: CNC, breeding kink, primal play, creampie, knotting, rough, biting, blood, hunting, dirty talk, dry humping, almost no foreplay, 1 spank, aftercare

✢ a/n: cnc is consensual non-con. A roleplay. Both Swiss and reader have given consent beforehand in this, even though I’m not going to write it out. Read this at your own risk, know your limits! <3

You could hear your heartbeat in your ears as you rushed through the overgrown forest. Thorns and leaves whipping your legs until they were scratched up and bloody. Your clothes had been torn at the back from the first time the ghoul had almost caught you.

It all had started this morning when you were tasked by Copia to forage for some herbs Mountain had requested. He wanted to go collect them himself, like he normally would, but the ghouls’ heats were approaching and Copia didn’t want to risk the possiblity of it hitting right as Mountain was away from the abbey. For the sake of their safety (and the safety of the siblings) the ghouls were normally locked into their den for the duration of their heats. It worked best for everyone involved and the ghouls didn’t mind, as long as they got to work everything out of their system. It also helped calm them, knowing that noone would enter their territory and destroy their nests.

You had collected two baskets full of yarrow by the time the sun had begun to set. Mountain had told you about them being useful against fevers, something that the ghouls sometimes had to deal with during their heats. So you had carefully plucked as many of them as you could, placing them into the woven baskets neatly.

Satisfied with your work you decided that it was time to return to the abbey to deliver the herbs. You knew they needed to be prepared right away or they would spoil, so you tried to be quick. Stumbling through the thick overgrowth, following the slim path you thought you recognized, you realized that you didn’t seem to get any closer to the abbey. You hadn’t walked that far into the forest, had you? You should have been able to see the buildings by now. You stopped walking for a second, turning around to watch where you had come from. Should you turn back? You shook your head as you decided against it. Surely you would reach the edge of the forest soon, you just had to keep walking. So you continued following the tiny path, not noticing how it grew slimmer and slimmer until it wasn’t a path at all; only grass and bushes.

It had gotten significantly darker now, crickets were starting to fill the silence as the last sun rays snuck their way through the trees. You felt yourself slow down, not sure what you were supposed to do now. No matter which way you’d go, you wouldn’t reach the abbey before it was completely dark outside, that was for sure.

You stopped walking again, listening to the birds sing their final songs of the day in the distance. A loud snap made you whirl around quickly, the fragile plants almost falling out of the baskets. But as you tried to see what had caused the sound, your eyes struggled. It was too dark already, not even squinting worked. You held your breath waiting for another sound. Another snap - this time closer - made you back up a little.

“Hello?”, you called out into the night.

Suddenly a silver glimmer caught your eye and you watched as the dark figure of a ghoul stalked towards you. Its eyes were locked on you. Didn’t it see that you had noticed it? You were staring directly at it. With its superior vision, it should have been able to see that. But it kept approaching, slowly and predatory.

You wanted to feel relieved that one of the ghouls had found you, be relieved that it would lead you back to the abbey. But the way the creature was stalking you, like it would stalk its prey, sent shivers down your spine. The ghouls weren’t supposed to be out here anymore. They all were supposed to be at the abbey, preparing for their heats. A ghoul being out here could only mean trouble.

You started backing up slowly, setting one foot behind the other, never removing your gaze from the still approaching creature.

You must have stepped on a twig, because something snapped under your foot and created a loud sound that echoed through the forest. The sudden sound triggered the ghoul to pounce, sprinting towards you. You dropped the baskets immediately, herbs falling to the ground gracelessly.

And then you started running as well.

If this was a ghoul in heat it would mean one thing and one thing only; you had to get away from it at all costs.

You ran as fast as you possibly could, but the footsteps behind you grew closer with each stride. There was no use in trying to out-run a ghoul. They would always catch up to you eventually. This was most likely a game to it, its hunting instinct triggered now that you had started running away from it. It didn’t take long before you could feel claws graze your back with a swift swipe. The sharp claws dug into the fabric of your clothes, ripping the back of them open. You stumbled slightly as you were pulled backwards by the force of it. With all the strength you had, you pushed yourself forwards again, tearing yourself free from the grip the demon had on the fabric. It glowled low in its throat as you managed to free yourself.

Adrenaline rushed through you again, the waves of it hot under your skin. Your legs were screaming at you to stop but you kept on pushing forwards, increasing the distance between you and the demon.

And that’s where you were now; stumbling through the thick vegetation, legs cut open and bleeding.

You didn’t hear the ghoul’s footsteps anymore, and for a moment you felt safe. You slowed down slightly, not quite daring to stop completely, though. Maybe the ghoul had lost your trace? It was unlikely but as you looked behind yourself, there was no sight of it.

Your steps slowed down further until you were walking. Maybe it had given up after chasing you around the woods for so long. Perhaps it deemed you to be too much of a pain in the ass to persue any further, and decided to find an easier target. Or maybe-

A yelp was ripped from your throat as your front hit the mossy ground. You landed softly but the fall still managed to knock the wind out of you, especially because something - or someone - had collapsed on top of you.

You felt yourself being pushed into the ground forcefully and your adrenaline spiked again. But this time you couldn’t run.

You couldn’t see exactly what had knocked you down but you didn’t need to look to know that it was the ghoul. It snarled and panted above you, one clawed hand had grabbed the back of your throat, pushing your face down. You tried to struggle out of its grasp but it was too strong.

“Thought you could get away this easily? Pathetic.”

Swiss.

You froze as you heard his voice, so close to your ear it sent a shiver down your spine. His full weight was on top of you, pinning you down, and as he shifted to get an even better grip, you felt something.

You nearly choked as you felt his erection press against your ass. With renewed vigor you tried to push him off of you, get away from him, but your struggling only seemed to excite him even more. His hips pressed into your behind harder, making you feel the outline of him. With a whimper you collapsed onto the ground again, boneless. The multi ghoul let out a breathy “fuck” as he ground his hips into you.

“I followed you through the entire forest. Fuck-... followed your scent and knew I had to have you. Had to breed that little cunt of yours. And look at you now; all ready for me to have.”, he panted into your ear, his hot breath fanning across the side of your face. You felt your stomach drop at his words, fear replacing the adrenaline in your veins.

“And you’re going to be a good little bitch and take it. Take everything I give you.”

A loud rip echoed through the otherwise quiet forest as one clawed finger tore through the fabric of your clothes. He didn’t take his time, removing the scraps unceremoniously - rushed. The forest air felt cold on your skin and you errupted in goosebumps. The ghoul seemed to like that, a smirk on his lips as he dipped down to lick up your spine from the base to your neck, where he was still holding you down firmly like a misbehaving dog. You took a chance and pushed yourself up again, catching the ghoul off guard. He scrambled after you with a low growl, one of his big hands catching one of your ankles and dragging you backwards towards him. You kicked your other leg in his direction but he easily caught it as well.

With both ankles in his claws, he turned you around forcefully, your front now exposed to his piercing gaze. His eyes seemed crazed as they scanned your face, then your chest, and finally your exposed crotch. You wanted to close your legs, to hide your naked form from him, but he forced your ankles apart further, squeezing his narrow hips between your thighs. His chest was heaving as he panted. You could feel the heat from his body through his clothes.

You had seen the ghouls in heat before, and this was exactly like it. The heightened body temperature, the piercing gaze, the overtaking of instincts. Swiss was not thinking clearly. He was truly and utterly ghoul in this moment.

As if on cue, the multi ghoul ground his hips into your core, making you gasp. You could see his hard cock strain against the front of his pants and you swallowed thickly. He let go of your ankles in favor of one of his hands supporting his weight next to your head while the other hand trailed down your body to your core. You writhed under him, trying to move away from his touch, but there was nowhere for you to go with the ghoul surrounding you completely.

He leaned down further, his fangs ghosting over the skin of your throat. And suddenly he bit down, his thumb finding your clit at the same time. You cried out at the sensation. His bite felt like a shard of ice, the pain gradually dulling down until it was only a light throbbing. He released the tender skin, licking it with a forked tongue. You didn’t know if he had drawn blood or not, but he let out a satisfied grunt as he looked at the bruise.

His thumb was still teasing your clit, pushing down harder before barely making contact. Your hands tried to grab at his arms, push him away but he wouldn’t budge. As he pressed down harder a breath escaped you, your hips bucking upwards slightly. The multi ghoul almost came in his pants right then and there.

“Shit, I’m gonna fuck you so good.”, he very near whined as his hands started working on the front of his pants. His hard cock sprang out immediately as he pushed his pants down just enough for him to be able to grab himself fully. You watched with wide eyes as Swiss fucked into his fist a few times. His head thrown back in pleasure.

After a few more thrusts he grabbed himself tightly, placing the head of his dick against your entrance and pushing in. You yelped as you felt yourself being stretched open by him, but it was slow. Swiss growled with impatience, pulling out roughly before letting a trail of spit fall from his lips onto your core. He spread the wetness with his tip, gliding from your entrance to your clit and back down. He positioned himself again and pushed his hips fowards roughly, earning himself another yelp from you. He started off with an unforgiving pace right away, his hips slamming into yours with such a force it rocked you upwards slightly. Your head was spinning and you couldn’t help yourself as you grabbed Swiss’ back to steady yourself somewhat.

The multi ghoul let out lewd groans and curses as he kept fucking into you as if his life depended on it. His hands grabbed your hips, pulling them towards himself every time his hips pushed forwards.

He began panting again, his eyes sharp as he watched his dick disappear into your body over and over again.

“Knew this pussy would take my cock so well. Mmh fuck-”

He grabbed you harder before shoving you off his dick, turning you around again so that you were on your hands and knees before him. With a strong hand he pushed your head down, your neck straining uncomfortably with the new position. With the new position your ass was exposed to him like you were a bitch in heat and you could feel your face heat up at the thought.

Without a warning his palm came down hard on your ass cheek. Tears stung in your eyes as he entered you again, his claws grabbing your hips with such a force you knew they would leave bruises. He picked up the pace again, his thrusts hard and fast as he used your body for his pleasure. Your face was rocked into the ground with each thrust, the smell of wet moss filling your nose.

“Shit, sweetheart. I’m going to breed you, fill you up with my cum and leave you dripping for days.”

You clenched around him involuntarily, a high pitched whine leaving your lips. “You like that? Hm? Like the idea of me filling you to the brim and then leaving you to drip my good stuff all over the forest as you make your way back to the abbey?”

One of his hands let go of your hip and trailed around to your front to find your clitoris again. As his skilled fingers started stroking the sensetive bundle of nerves, you felt your mind go blank for a second.

Swiss grunted as you clenched down on him again, lost in the pleasure.

“Fuck- but before that, I’m going to stuff you with my knot. Make you come around it.”

Your eyes fluttered shut as you felt the pleasure building in your lower stomach. His fingers were working your clit in fast circles and his thick cock hit all the right places inside of you. You were so fucking close to cumming all over him.

Swiss was close too. You could tell by the way he muttered out dirty words that were too unintelligible for you to understand, his hips snapping wildly into you.

“Cum on my dick. Be a good little breeding bitch and come on my cock.”

You cried out as your orgasm washed over you, your walls clenching down tightly on the multi ghoul’s cock. He groaned and moaned as you shook from the pleasure. And with a few more thrusts he pushed into you fully, his knot stretching you even further until it popped in, securing Swiss to your backside. You could feel his cock twitching inside of you, filling you with his hot cum, spurt after spurt. He shivered as his front collapsed onto your back. His lips pressed tiny kisses between your shoulder blades, his fangs nipping gently along the way.

It took some time for the multi ghoul to catch himself. Once he had given you every last drop of his cum, he slumped back slightly, making you wince as his still swollen knot caught on your entrance. Swiss was quick to correct his posture as not to cause you any more discomfort.

“Are you alright?”, he asked as he moved to lay the two of you down on your sides so you were spooning, careful to not move his hips too much.

“Yeah, just a bit tired from all the running.”

“If it was the running that made you tired, I didn’t do a good enough job just now.”, the tall ghoul joked as he nuzzled his face into your neck, licking the purple bruise there.

“Are you sure you’re not hurt? Did you enjoy yourself?”, Swiss asked with a whisper, his hands caressing your side tenderly.

“I’m sure. Don’t worry, love. And yes, of course I enjoyed myself. I always do.”, you answered, your hand grabbing his at your side and moving it to your lips so you could kiss it. Swiss melted behind you, snuggling himself closer to your body.

“But I just have to ask”, you began, playing with his fingers gently, “What were you doing out here? I thought you were going to start your heat?”

Swiss shook his head, giving you a toothy grin, “No, not yet. We were worried about you being gone for so long, so they sent me to find you. I still have a few more days before my heat starts. Mountain is already going through it though, so I guess it was a good idea to send you foraging.” He leaned in closer, kissing your shoulder. “It also gave me the opportunity for our little romp just now.”. You laughed as you hit his leg playfully.

“We should probably get back soon though, before they start sending out other ghouls to look for us.”, he huffed out, moving his hips to pull out of you. His knot still caught at your entrance but with a bit of manuvering he managed to pull out completely without hurting you. His cum immediately started dripping out of you and he watched with half lidded eyes as the sticky white substance trailed down your leg.

“I would love to get you cleaned up, darlin’, but I think I like this sight way too much.”

You huffed out a weak laugh as you got up, searching for your clothes, or what was left of them anyway. You held up your ruined clothes and Swiss ducked away. “Sorry. I might have gotten a bit carried away. But the chase really riled me up, you know?.”, he explained sheepishly and you chuckled. Swiss removed his jacket for you to wear. Thankfully it was quite large on you, so it covered your butt well enough.

He grabbed your waist tenderly, pulling you close to his body so he could place a kiss on your lips. You melted against him as he held you for a moment. After a minute or two you two seperated and a toothy grin spread across Swiss’ masked face.

“I can’t believe you got lost.”, he teased you. Your face felt hot suddenly.

“Well, you try to navigate through the forest with shitty human senses! Also, you made me spill all of the herbs. We will have to go find them now.”

“You didn’t have to drop them you know. Could have put them aside gently.”

“Shut up, Swiss.”

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ghostedghouls · 2 years ago

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make it hurt

✢ in an attempt to save himself from more hurt, dew decides to hurt swiss the only way he knows he can.

✢ pairing: Swiss x gn!reader / Dew x Swiss (not romantically)

✢ genre: angst

✢ warnings: manipulation, dew is an asshole, trauma, swiss has a dark past, mentioned murder, hurt/no comfort, dew has issues i dont blame him

✢ a/n: the romantic pairing is reader x swiss, but the story focuses more on dewdrop/ dewdrop x swiss because I wanted to explore this dynamic (and also hurt swiss whoops). Also this got way longer than i wanted it to be so maybe i’ll have to do a part 2 bc i cant stand bad endings :( | not beta read sorry

Dew was known for being the most difficult of the ghouls. He was known for his temper and anger, the heated arguments and the venom in his words.

Dew was known for his low blows.

The other ghouls knew that Dew hardly meant the things he said in a fit of anger and rage. At first the words had stung. The fire ghoul had a talent for finding the most hurtful words and digging deep, reaching for things he knew would provoke a reaction from the others; preferably anger or hurt. And oh boy, was it hurtful at times.

But the better the ghouls got to know him, the more they learned not to take the words to heart, no matter how hard it was at times. They knew it was his way of protecting himself, his way of making sure the other person stopped digging into him, stopped prying open old wounds. It was his way of making sure nobody would ever break down the walls that he so carefully had built around himself.

But even though the ghouls tried to not let the words get to them, they always eventually did. Dew knew how to get under their skin, tear open their wounds so his own could stay closed. A low blow from Dew would usually end the argument, the other ghoul too angry, shocked or hurt to continue the conversation.

But not with Swiss. Not today.

Swiss stood his ground as the fire ghoul spat insult after insult at him. His arms were crossed in front of his broad chest as he listened to the never-ending stream of words, carefully picked out by the smaller ghoul to dig into Swiss’ insecurities and worries. But Swiss saw through Dew easily. He knew that he was trying to deflect from his own worries and traumas. So he stood there and took the verbal abuse because he knew Dew didn’t mean it. Never did.

Swiss was by far one of the hardest ghouls to truly anger. He was very forgiving, especially with the smallest ghoul. He tended to laugh things off or talk things out right away as to not leave an argument unresolved. If the other ghoul thought about it, he had never seen Swiss even remotely angry. There were times where he seemed pissed off but never really angry.

“Are you done yet, firefly?” The nickname sounded sour on Swiss’s tongue and Dew almost visibly recoiled. But he knew better than to show a reaction. He had to be indifferent, hide that he was vunerable. But the comment had thrown him off and his brain short-circuited long enough for Swiss to finally get a word in.

“You stand here and go about your little spiel like you always do, Dew. But we both know you don’t mean it. You can curse and scream at me all you want; it won’t change a thing. There wasn’t even a real argument to begin with. You got your fragile ego hurt and now you’re foaming at the mouth like a rabid animal.”

Dewdrop growled at that. Low in his throat as his tail swished angrily behind himself. It was true, and that was what angered the fire ghoul the most. Satanas, Dew had already forgotten what the whole argument was even about. He was only arguing for the sake of getting Swiss off his tail. To hurt the multi ghoul so that he wouldn’t end up being hurt himself. The other ghoul was entirely too calm for his liking and it scared Dewdrop. It scared him that he didn’t have control of the conversation. It scared him that Swiss knew exactly what he was trying to archive. Scared him that he was so fucking vunerable in front of someone after he had sworn himself to never be open like that again. He opened his mouth to say something he knew would hurt Swiss, but the other ghoul was faster to speak.

“Do you know what I think? I think you’re getting so defensive because you know I am right. You know you don’t even mean a single thing you say to us all the time. Because you’re scared to let someone - for once in your goddamn life - into that head of yours. Because you’re so fucking scared that if you let someone in, they will tear you down from the inside. Because you know you couldn’t take that again.” Swiss’s words seemed harsh but he was calm, somewhat encouraging even.

But Dewdrop was seething where he was standing. He felt like he was vibrating with anger. His fists were balled up so tightly, he could feel the sharp claws dig into his own flesh. His fangs were clenched so tightly, he was afraid they would break off under the pressure. If he’d had just a little less self control, he would have launched himself at the multi ghoul and ripped into him with claws and teeth. Copia and the clergy be damned. They would send him back to the pit for killing another ghoul, but he couldn’t care less in that moment.

Where did the multi ghoul get the audacity to dig into Dew’s head like that? Rip him open piece be piece and present him with his own thoughts. It sent him into a frenzy.

In that moment Dewdrop felt truly lost. There was no thing he could say to Swiss to make him stop, to make him leave. Dew nearly choked on his own spit. His throat felt tight as he tried to swallow. It became apparent that the fire ghoul wasn’t the only one who knew how to hurt others deeply.

Dew bared his fangs at Swiss and hissed. It wasn’t intentional, a leftover instinct from the pit that was generally considered bad manners by the higher clergy members. Swiss stood calmly but his tail jerked once, showing that he wasn’t immune to the feral display of agression from his bandmate.

And with a last growl, Dewdrop turned on his heel and left Swiss standing in the hallway. He felt humiliated and hurt. He was never the one to leave an argument, had never lost to the others. In his mind he was thinking of a thousand things he could do to hurt Swiss. The argument might have been over, but he wouldn’t - no, couldn’t - let the multi ghoul get away with this. He had to do something that would truly and utterly destroy the taller ghoul.

He was still seething as he stumbled through the clergy hallways. A few siblings he came across had fled once they saw him. Good, he thought, at least he was still respected by the siblings. They would never dare to talk to him the way Swiss did. Would never dare to pry into his head like that. They knew they couldn’t because he would rip them to shreds if they tried. Just like how he should have done with dear Swiss, he thought angrily, his fists clenched again.

He marched through the hallways for a little longer before something caught his eyes. And suddenly it felt like he was presented with a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity sent by the hellish father lucifer himself.

You.

How had Dewdrop not thought of that before? Swiss’s little romance he had going on with you. It was still fresh, long months of ‘will-they-won’t-they’ finally turned into little kisses and shared nights. And that turned into actual feelings. Swiss had never officially told you how he felt, Dew knew that, but he could smell it on the multi ghoul. And he could smell it on you too. With renewed vigor (and anger) he walked up to you.

Should he grab you and hurt you? Should he leave your body bloodied with bitemarks and drag you back into the ghoul den? The smell of your blood would be so overwhelming it would surely sent the multi ghoul into overdrive. A perverted satisfaction spread through Dew’s body at the thought. The satisfaction of truly hurting Swiss in the most horrible way he could. To finally make the multi ghoul snap. Because with anger Dew could work. Anger he knew how to handle. But no, he thought. That was too risky. It would get him a ticket straight back to hell from the clergy. And it wouldn’t hurt enough. Wouldn’t dig deeply enough into Swiss’ heart.

It was like a light went off above the fire ghoul’s head as you turned around, smiling at him as he approaced you. He tried to keep his face stoic, to not let a toothy smile shine through as he finally decided how to wreck Swiss.

“Dewdrop.”, you said warmly, “Is there something I can do for you?”

“No. I just wanted to check in how you were.”, he said, feigning worry.

“Oh um.. thank you, I am fine- why? Is there something I should be worried about?”, you asked confused.

“I just thought after the whole thing with Swiss... y’know. That you might be hurt...” Oh satanas, it felt so incredibly good. Dewdrops eyes nearly rolled back into his skull as you very clearly took the bait.

“What thing with Swiss? Did something happen?” you were starting to grow worried and Dewdrop nearly laughed at how pathetic it was.

“Oh no... he didn’t tell you yet, then. I’m sorry, I just thought he would have told you by now. Seeing how you two are pretty serious now I assumed he did tell you.” He let out a dramatic sigh. “But I guess he will tell you when he’s ready.... I just hope that’s soon - wouldn’t want you to get into a relationship with him under false pretences, right?”

You eyes grew wide with confusion and worry and as Dewdrop decided to slowly turn around and act as if he was going to leave, you quickly grabbed his arm to make him stay.

“Please.” you breathed out “What is going on? What do you mean with ‘false pretences’?”

“It’s not my place to tell you. He should tell you himself. It is a pretty big thing after all.” Dewdrop knew he already had you. He was only trying to make this even worse once shit hit the fan. He had to make sure you would talk to Swiss about it, maybe even end things with him. Oh satanas, how priceless the look on his face would be. He’d deserve it.

“I’m begging you to please tell me what you mean.”, you anxiously begged the fire ghoul who sighed in return as if he was doing this against his will.

“I thought he trusted you enough to tell you himself but maybe he doesn’t quite yet. It’s only understandable given his past, of course.” You were eating everything up Dewdrop was saying. And the best thing was, he didn’t even need to lie. Didn’t need to make things up about the multi ghoul because it was all true. Dewdrop leaned against the wall next to him before starting;

“Swiss wasn’t actually summoned with the rest of the ghouls. Not many people know this because he worked in the shadows most of the time. I just saw him occasionally while I was still working with Terzo.” The words tasted bitter in his mouth. The hurt still there, still fresh. “He didn’t eat with the other ghouls, didn’t spend time with the other ghouls. It was like he was kept away from the rest of the clergy at all times. I always wondered what his job was. There are no ghouls in the clergy that serve no purpose, so I was curious. I, myself, only got to know the truth recently.”

It was true. Dew thought back to the evening that Swiss had confessed. He had never seen him cry like that before. Had always assumed Swiss had no baggage, no hurt inside of him. But that evening, Swiss had sobbed as he told his mates about his jobs before the band. Explained how he had done the dirty work, had killed siblings and ghouls alike. Without ever questioning anything. How he had been the perfect killer all along. The other ghouls had been taken aback and the following days - even if they didn’t mean to - they had avoided Swiss. Those days had wrecked the multi ghoul horribly, to the point where he didn’t leave his room, not even to eat.

In the end they managed to talk things out. Nobody was truly mad at Swiss or scared of him. For fucks sake, they all were ghouls. They had all killed before. They just hadn’t expected something like this from chill, laidback Swiss. Swiss hadn’t asked them to keep it a secret but given his reaction the first time he confessed, it was pretty clear he didn’t want anyone else to know. This is why Dew knew his plan would work. He knew it would absolutely obliterate Swiss to be confronted with this part of his past again, especially if it came from you.

“Well it seems-... oh, I really don’t know if I should tell you this. You’re gonna be hurt.”, Dew tried to sow worries and it worked. “I need to know.”, came from you in almost a whisper.

“Well, there were certain ghouls that... did the clergy’s dirty work. I mean, it only makes sense to summon ghouls to do it, don’t get me wrong. And it just so happened to be our dear Swiss.”

“Dirty work?”, you asked, more in disbelieve than in not-understanding.

“Getting rid of unwanted people. Outside and inside the clergy. The perfect killer. Ghouls leave no traces behind as you know. Swiss does have some chompers on him, I will not lie...”

You gasped and Dew watched carefully as you stared in disbelieve. “But don’t worry. He would never hurt you!” Dew hesitated for a bit. “Probably, anyways. What do they say again; you can take the ghoul out of hell but you can’t take hell out of the ghoul?” He faked a laugh at the lame joke. A real smile crept on his lips as he watched you stare into space with furrowed brows, clearly worried about what you had just learned about your lover.

Dew knew he had to make the finale count, so he faked a worried face as he gently grabbed your shoulder. “I do need you to be careful though. Swiss was dangerous in the past, following orders blindly just because he was told to. He killed ghouls and siblings, some of which he worked with. He had no morales. I’m just confused that he hasn’t told you about this yet... I’m worried about what that means. He is a ghoul. You can’t forget that. A demon from the pit, summoned to fulfill a task.” Dewdrop stood taller as his hand fell off your shoulder. “He’s in the band now but we can’t be sure he isn’t still following some of his former orders.” That was the only lie. Swiss had promised that he had been released from that position ages ago, had sworn to his mates that he was telling the truth. And Dew knew it had been the truth... but you didn’t need to know that.

The guitarist left you standing in the hallways, your eyes shimmering with unshed tears of disbelief and sadness.

That evening Dewdrop sat in the common room. He listened to the muffled voices behind Swiss’ bedroom door. You two had been talking - arguing - for close to two hours. Dew was the only one left sitting there, all the other ghouls had left at one point, the atmosphere in the den too suffocating to bear.

When you had stumbled into their den a few hours ago, your energy had immidiately alerted all the ghouls. They had raised their heads as they watched you walk into the common area. Swiss was the first to approach you - of course he was. The energy you gave off must’ve been excruciating for the multi ghoul. The fire ghoul still felt the anger deep in his chest, barely any less than before. He wasn’t like Swiss, he didn’t forgive that easily. And Swiss deserved this. Deserved to be hurt just how Dewdrop had been hurt.

The multi ghoul knew something was off, so he lead you into his room without a word. You hesitated for a bit, worried. And Dew almost smirked as he watched you stand in the doorway of Swiss’ room. You looked back over your shoulder to the small ghoul.

You entered your lover’s room, closing the door behind yourself gently. The multi ghoul approached you slowly, gently reaching for your hands, encouraging you to tell him what was wrong. But as his hands brushed yours, a jolt rushed through you. Not a jolt of excitement, lust or happiness. No, this felt different. This was fear.

Hurt flashed across Swiss’s face as you moved your hands away from his reaching ones. And as you took a step back to increase the distance between your bodies, he felt like he would die right then and there.

“What’s going on, sweet cheeks?”, the taller ghoul asked, concern lacing his soft voice.

You didn’t speak for a second. Your head hung low, facing the floor, but Swiss could see the lines between your brows nontheless. His stomach twisted itself in knots as he just observed you for a second. Your hands were fidgeting with the hem of your shirt and your posture was defensive, closed-off. And the way you smelled - it felt like a punch to the gut to Swiss. Fear, concern, worry, hurt.

“You don’t have to tell me what’s wrong right now, but is there anything I can do to help y-” - “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Swiss was the one to take a step back this time. “What do you mean?”

“I deserved to know!” You raised your head and there were tears in your eyes. Not yet spilled but they were there and Swiss felt helpless.

“What are you talking about? Did I do something? Did you change your mind about... us?”

“No! I mean yes- no... I just-”, you stumbled through the words clumsily, not even knowing what exactly you were trying to say.

“When were you going to tell me you killed for the clergy?”

Swiss felt the breath being knocked out of him, his heart stopped for a second, a searing pain rushing through his chest before the organ stumbled into a rushed rhythm. His mouth hung open, his ears ringing. It was like his worst nightmare came true, and it was happening right now in front of him. He watched as the first tears fell and you whispered “So it’s true.”. The multi ghoul felt like he needed to throw up, his chest heaving and his tail erratic behind him.

Your eyes truly took him in then; The claws at his sides, the tail behind him, the grey skin, the tiniest peek of his fangs, the sharp ears and the golden eyes that shone through the slits of the silver mask. Those hands - those claws - that had caressed you many nights, had softly ran through your hair or across your skin, were the same ones that had the blood of so many people on them. His teeth, usually nipping you gently, had ripped out throats and limbs before. Had hurt and killed. murdered.

You swallowed thickly as a new wave of fear rushed through you. What were you doing? In the room alone with a killer and confronting him about it? If the things Dewdrop had said were true, then there was no way of knowing that he wouldn’t do it again. Your investigation in the library about those ‘special ghouls’ just before you got here, didn’t help either.

Swiss felt the instant shift from hurt to fear in you. He felt it deeply in his body and it itched at his insides. Satanas, he wanted to claw at himself, get rid of that feeling, rip it out from his insides.

He only recently had told the other ghouls about his past and the days following had been excruciating for him. It had created a rift in their relationship for a while. And even though everything seemed alright now, he knew they still thought about it from time to time. But they had been understanding, because they were also ghouls, because they had done similar things. He couldn’t expect the same understanding from you. A human.

Swiss watched your form shake as you cried silently and in that moment he wanted to die. He wanted to rush to Copias office and have himself be sent back to hell. Either by ritual or by a dagger to the heart.

As he started speaking, his own tears fell, his body rocking with sobs as he watched his relationship crumble in front of him.

Dew had felt a sick satisfaction as he listened carefully to what was being said. The two of you weren’t screaming at each other but the door did little to stop the fire ghoul from listening in on the conversation. The other ghouls sat strewn around the common room. Their own conversations had died down shortly after the smell of fear, hurt and sadness had crept through the cracks of the door.

The longer the argument went on the more suffocating the energy in the ghoul den got. Mountain had been the first to leave, excusing himself to his greenhouse to escape the all-consuming smell of a multi ghoul in distress. The girls had left together without a word. They didn’t need to say anything. Everyone knew.

One after another the rest of the ghouls left the den as the sounds of sobs grew louder from the bedroom. Phantom had scurried after the girls. Being a quintessence ghoul meant he felt everything even harsher than the other ghouls. And he couldn’t take it. Rain took his leave a little later after he couldn’t bear hearing Swiss cry anymore. It hurt too badly to stay.

The anger Dew had felt until just minutes ago was almost non-existent now. Instead, the ugly grasps of guilt had a tright grip on him, threatening to pull him under and drown him in it. He tried to tell himself that Swiss deserved it. That he didn’t do anything wrong. You did deserve to know what Swiss was, after all. But Dew knew it had not been his place to tell you. And not in the way he did. Using you to get a reaction out of Swiss. To manipulate you into thinking a certain way about the multi ghoul. His chest felt heavy with guilt, suffocating him from the inside.

He didn’t blame the other ghouls for leaving the den. The atmosphere was devastating. The smell of distress thick in the air. This was even worse than when Swiss had come clean with them a few weeks prior. And suddenly Dew wasn’t so sure what this would do to Swiss. He had been a wreck last time, there was no way of knowing what would happen this time.

Aether was the last to leave. He sighed as he got up from the sofa, turning to leave the den like the others had before turning back to Dewdrop with a snarl. It was so entirely unlike Aether, that Dew felt himself recoil at the gesture.

“You told them, didn’t you?”, he asked, disappointment in his eyes. Dew didn’t say anything but that was answer enough for the quintessence ghoul.

“You’ve said fucked up things before, Dewdrop. But this was a real low blow, even for you.”

And with that, Aether left the den without looking back at the fire ghoul still sitting on the couch. Dew’s own eyes stung with tears as he felt everything he had done crashing down on him. The tears didn’t fall though, because before they could, the door to Swiss’s room opened.

Your still crying form walked through the door and into the direction of the den’s exit. Swiss followed slowly, not daring to be too close to you. He stopped in the middle of the common room and watched with heavy sobs as you closed the door behind yourself. His eyes were transfixed on the door as if he was waiting for you to open it again. Open it and run back to him, leap into his arms and hug him, kiss him. Telling him everything was going to be alright.

But the door never opened.

Swiss turned to Dewdrop and when their eyes met, the fire ghoul felt like he was being pulled down into the pit. He had never, not even then, seen Swiss like this. Completely and utterly gone. Dew waited for Swiss to snap at him. To launch himself at the smaller ghoul and rip him to pieces. He wouldn’t have fighted back, he would’ve let it happen. He knew what he did was not excusable.

But the attack never came. Instead there was a shaky breath from the multi ghoul as he mustered up a bitter smile. “I hope you got what you wanted, firefly.”

He left the den as well. Where to, Dew didn’t know.

But the feeling in his stomach was so incredibly painful, he didn’t dare to move off the couch. And Dew had never hated himself more than in that moment.

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