#swiss angst

[ghostedghouls]

make it hurt

✢ in an attempt to save himself from more hurt, dew decides to hurt swiss the only way he knows he can.

✢ pairing: Swiss x gn!reader / Dew x Swiss (not romantically)

✢ genre: angst

✢ warnings: manipulation, dew is an asshole, trauma, swiss has a dark past, mentioned murder, hurt/no comfort, dew has issues i dont blame him

✢ a/n: the romantic pairing is reader x swiss, but the story focuses more on dewdrop/ dewdrop x swiss because I wanted to explore this dynamic (and also hurt swiss whoops). Also this got way longer than i wanted it to be so maybe i’ll have to do a part 2 bc i cant stand bad endings :( | not beta read sorry

Dew was known for being the most difficult of the ghouls. He was known for his temper and anger, the heated arguments and the venom in his words.

Dew was known for his low blows.

The other ghouls knew that Dew hardly meant the things he said in a fit of anger and rage. At first the words had stung. The fire ghoul had a talent for finding the most hurtful words and digging deep, reaching for things he knew would provoke a reaction from the others; preferably anger or hurt. And oh boy, was it hurtful at times.

But the better the ghouls got to know him, the more they learned not to take the words to heart, no matter how hard it was at times. They knew it was his way of protecting himself, his way of making sure the other person stopped digging into him, stopped prying open old wounds. It was his way of making sure nobody would ever break down the walls that he so carefully had built around himself.

But even though the ghouls tried to not let the words get to them, they always eventually did. Dew knew how to get under their skin, tear open their wounds so his own could stay closed. A low blow from Dew would usually end the argument, the other ghoul too angry, shocked or hurt to continue the conversation.

But not with Swiss. Not today.

Swiss stood his ground as the fire ghoul spat insult after insult at him. His arms were crossed in front of his broad chest as he listened to the never-ending stream of words, carefully picked out by the smaller ghoul to dig into Swiss’ insecurities and worries. But Swiss saw through Dew easily. He knew that he was trying to deflect from his own worries and traumas. So he stood there and took the verbal abuse because he knew Dew didn’t mean it. Never did.

Swiss was by far one of the hardest ghouls to truly anger. He was very forgiving, especially with the smallest ghoul. He tended to laugh things off or talk things out right away as to not leave an argument unresolved. If the other ghoul thought about it, he had never seen Swiss even remotely angry. There were times where he seemed pissed off but never really angry.

“Are you done yet, firefly?” The nickname sounded sour on Swiss’s tongue and Dew almost visibly recoiled. But he knew better than to show a reaction. He had to be indifferent, hide that he was vunerable. But the comment had thrown him off and his brain short-circuited long enough for Swiss to finally get a word in.

“You stand here and go about your little spiel like you always do, Dew. But we both know you don’t mean it. You can curse and scream at me all you want; it won’t change a thing. There wasn’t even a real argument to begin with. You got your fragile ego hurt and now you’re foaming at the mouth like a rabid animal.”

Dewdrop growled at that. Low in his throat as his tail swished angrily behind himself. It was true, and that was what angered the fire ghoul the most. Satanas, Dew had already forgotten what the whole argument was even about. He was only arguing for the sake of getting Swiss off his tail. To hurt the multi ghoul so that he wouldn’t end up being hurt himself. The other ghoul was entirely too calm for his liking and it scared Dewdrop. It scared him that he didn’t have control of the conversation. It scared him that Swiss knew exactly what he was trying to archive. Scared him that he was so fucking vunerable in front of someone after he had sworn himself to never be open like that again. He opened his mouth to say something he knew would hurt Swiss, but the other ghoul was faster to speak.

“Do you know what I think? I think you’re getting so defensive because you know I am right. You know you don’t even mean a single thing you say to us all the time. Because you’re scared to let someone - for once in your goddamn life - into that head of yours. Because you’re so fucking scared that if you let someone in, they will tear you down from the inside. Because you know you couldn’t take that again.” Swiss’s words seemed harsh but he was calm, somewhat encouraging even.

But Dewdrop was seething where he was standing. He felt like he was vibrating with anger. His fists were balled up so tightly, he could feel the sharp claws dig into his own flesh. His fangs were clenched so tightly, he was afraid they would break off under the pressure. If he’d had just a little less self control, he would have launched himself at the multi ghoul and ripped into him with claws and teeth. Copia and the clergy be damned. They would send him back to the pit for killing another ghoul, but he couldn’t care less in that moment.

Where did the multi ghoul get the audacity to dig into Dew’s head like that? Rip him open piece be piece and present him with his own thoughts. It sent him into a frenzy.

In that moment Dewdrop felt truly lost. There was no thing he could say to Swiss to make him stop, to make him leave. Dew nearly choked on his own spit. His throat felt tight as he tried to swallow. It became apparent that the fire ghoul wasn’t the only one who knew how to hurt others deeply.

Dew bared his fangs at Swiss and hissed. It wasn’t intentional, a leftover instinct from the pit that was generally considered bad manners by the higher clergy members. Swiss stood calmly but his tail jerked once, showing that he wasn’t immune to the feral display of agression from his bandmate.

And with a last growl, Dewdrop turned on his heel and left Swiss standing in the hallway. He felt humiliated and hurt. He was never the one to leave an argument, had never lost to the others. In his mind he was thinking of a thousand things he could do to hurt Swiss. The argument might have been over, but he wouldn’t - no, couldn’t - let the multi ghoul get away with this. He had to do something that would truly and utterly destroy the taller ghoul.

-

He was still seething as he stumbled through the clergy hallways. A few siblings he came across had fled once they saw him. Good, he thought, at least he was still respected by the siblings. They would never dare to talk to him the way Swiss did. Would never dare to pry into his head like that. They knew they couldn’t because he would rip them to shreds if they tried. Just like how he should have done with dear Swiss, he thought angrily, his fists clenched again.

He marched through the hallways for a little longer before something caught his eyes. And suddenly it felt like he was presented with a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity sent by the hellish father lucifer himself.

You.

How had Dewdrop not thought of that before? Swiss’s little romance he had going on with you. It was still fresh, long months of ‘will-they-won’t-they’ finally turned into little kisses and shared nights. And that turned into actual feelings. Swiss had never officially told you how he felt, Dew knew that, but he could smell it on the multi ghoul. And he could smell it on you too. With renewed vigor (and anger) he walked up to you. 

Should he grab you and hurt you? Should he leave your body bloodied with bitemarks and drag you back into the ghoul den? The smell of your blood would be so overwhelming it would surely sent the multi ghoul into overdrive. A perverted satisfaction spread through Dew’s body at the thought. The satisfaction of truly hurting Swiss in the most horrible way he could. To finally make the multi ghoul snap. Because with anger Dew could work. Anger he knew how to handle. But no, he thought. That was too risky. It would get him a ticket straight back to hell from the clergy. And it wouldn’t hurt enough. Wouldn’t dig deeply enough into Swiss’ heart.

It was like a light went off above the fire ghoul’s head as you turned around, smiling at him as he approaced you. He tried to keep his face stoic, to not let a toothy smile shine through as he finally decided how to wreck Swiss.

“Dewdrop.”, you said warmly, “Is there something I can do for you?”

“No. I just wanted to check in how you were.”, he said, feigning worry.

“Oh um.. thank you, I am fine- why? Is there something I should be worried about?”, you asked confused.

“I just thought after the whole thing with Swiss... y’know. That you might be hurt...” Oh satanas, it felt so incredibly good. Dewdrops eyes nearly rolled back into his skull as you very clearly took the bait.

“What thing with Swiss? Did something happen?” you were starting to grow worried and Dewdrop nearly laughed at how pathetic it was.

“Oh no... he didn’t tell you yet, then. I’m sorry, I just thought he would have told you by now. Seeing how you two are pretty serious now I assumed he did tell you.” He let out a dramatic sigh. “But I guess he will tell you when he’s ready.... I just hope that’s soon - wouldn’t want you to get into a relationship with him under false pretences, right?”

You eyes grew wide with confusion and worry and as Dewdrop decided to slowly turn around and act as if he was going to leave, you quickly grabbed his arm to make him stay.

“Please.” you breathed out “What is going on? What do you mean with ‘false pretences’?”

“It’s not my place to tell you. He should tell you himself. It is a pretty big thing after all.” Dewdrop knew he already had you. He was only trying to make this even worse once shit hit the fan. He had to make sure you would talk to Swiss about it, maybe even end things with him. Oh satanas, how priceless the look on his face would be. He’d deserve it.

“I’m begging you to please tell me what you mean.”, you anxiously begged the fire ghoul who sighed in return as if he was doing this against his will.

“I thought he trusted you enough to tell you himself but maybe he doesn’t quite yet. It’s only understandable given his past, of course.” You were eating everything up Dewdrop was saying. And the best thing was, he didn’t even need to lie. Didn’t need to make things up about the multi ghoul because it was all true. Dewdrop leaned against the wall next to him before starting;

“Swiss wasn’t actually summoned with the rest of the ghouls. Not many people know this because he worked in the shadows most of the time. I just saw him occasionally while I was still working with Terzo.” The words tasted bitter in his mouth. The hurt still there, still fresh. “He didn’t eat with the other ghouls, didn’t spend time with the other ghouls. It was like he was kept away from the rest of the clergy at all times. I always wondered what his job was. There are no ghouls in the clergy that serve no purpose, so I was curious. I, myself, only got to know the truth recently.”

It was true. Dew thought back to the evening that Swiss had confessed. He had never seen him cry like that before. Had always assumed Swiss had no baggage, no hurt inside of him. But that evening, Swiss had sobbed as he told his mates about his jobs before the band. Explained how he had done the dirty work, had killed siblings and ghouls alike. Without ever questioning anything. How he had been the perfect killer all along. The other ghouls had been taken aback and the following days - even if they didn’t mean to - they had avoided Swiss. Those days had wrecked the multi ghoul horribly, to the point where he didn’t leave his room, not even to eat.

In the end they managed to talk things out. Nobody was truly mad at Swiss or scared of him. For fucks sake, they all were ghouls. They had all killed before. They just hadn’t expected something like this from chill, laidback Swiss. Swiss hadn’t asked them to keep it a secret but given his reaction the first time he confessed, it was pretty clear he didn’t want anyone else to know. This is why Dew knew his plan would work. He knew it would absolutely obliterate Swiss to be confronted with this part of his past again, especially if it came from you.

“Well it seems-... oh, I really don’t know if I should tell you this. You’re gonna be hurt.”, Dew tried to sow worries and it worked. “I need to know.”, came from you in almost a whisper.

“Well, there were certain ghouls that... did the clergy’s dirty work. I mean, it only makes sense to summon ghouls to do it, don’t get me wrong. And it just so happened to be our dear Swiss.”

“Dirty work?”, you asked, more in disbelieve than in not-understanding.

“Getting rid of unwanted people. Outside and inside the clergy. The perfect killer. Ghouls leave no traces behind as you know. Swiss does have some chompers on him, I will not lie...”

You gasped and Dew watched carefully as you stared in disbelieve. “But don’t worry. He would never hurt you!” Dew hesitated for a bit. “Probably, anyways. What do they say again; you can take the ghoul out of hell but you can’t take hell out of the ghoul?” He faked a laugh at the lame joke. A real smile crept on his lips as he watched you stare into space with furrowed brows, clearly worried about what you had just learned about your lover.

Dew knew he had to make the finale count, so he faked a worried face as he gently grabbed your shoulder. “I do need you to be careful though. Swiss was dangerous in the past, following orders blindly just because he was told to. He killed ghouls and siblings, some of which he worked with. He had no morales. I’m just confused that he hasn’t told you about this yet... I’m worried about what that means. He is a ghoul. You can’t forget that. A demon from the pit, summoned to fulfill a task.” Dewdrop stood taller as his hand fell off your shoulder. “He’s in the band now but we can’t be sure he isn’t still following some of his former orders.” That was the only lie. Swiss had promised that he had been released from that position ages ago, had sworn to his mates that he was telling the truth. And Dew knew it had been the truth... but you didn’t need to know that.

The guitarist left you standing in the hallways, your eyes shimmering with unshed tears of disbelief and sadness.

-

That evening Dewdrop sat in the common room. He listened to the muffled voices behind Swiss’ bedroom door. You two had been talking - arguing - for close to two hours. Dew was the only one left sitting there, all the other ghouls had left at one point, the atmosphere in the den too suffocating to bear.

When you had stumbled into their den a few hours ago, your energy had immidiately alerted all the ghouls. They had raised their heads as they watched you walk into the common area. Swiss was the first to approach you - of course he was. The energy you gave off must’ve been excruciating for the multi ghoul. The fire ghoul still felt the anger deep in his chest, barely any less than before. He wasn’t like Swiss, he didn’t forgive that easily. And Swiss deserved this. Deserved to be hurt just how Dewdrop had been hurt.

The multi ghoul knew something was off, so he lead you into his room without a word. You hesitated for a bit, worried. And Dew almost smirked as he watched you stand in the doorway of Swiss’ room. You looked back over your shoulder to the small ghoul.

-

You entered your lover’s room, closing the door behind yourself gently. The multi ghoul approached you slowly, gently reaching for your hands, encouraging you to tell him what was wrong. But as his hands brushed yours, a jolt rushed through you. Not a jolt of excitement, lust or happiness. No, this felt different. This was fear.

Hurt flashed across Swiss’s face as you moved your hands away from his reaching ones. And as you took a step back to increase the distance between your bodies, he felt like he would die right then and there.

“What’s going on, sweet cheeks?”, the taller ghoul asked, concern lacing his soft voice.

You didn’t speak for a second. Your head hung low, facing the floor, but Swiss could see the lines between your brows nontheless. His stomach twisted itself in knots as he just observed you for a second. Your hands were fidgeting with the hem of your shirt and your posture was defensive, closed-off. And the way you smelled - it felt like a punch to the gut to Swiss. Fear, concern, worry, hurt.

“You don’t have to tell me what’s wrong right now, but is there anything I can do to help y-” - “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Swiss was the one to take a step back this time. “What do you mean?”

“I deserved to know!” You raised your head and there were tears in your eyes. Not yet spilled but they were there and Swiss felt helpless.

“What are you talking about? Did I do something? Did you change your mind about... us?”

“No! I mean yes- no... I just-”, you stumbled through the words clumsily, not even knowing what exactly you were trying to say.

“When were you going to tell me you killed for the clergy?”

Swiss felt the breath being knocked out of him, his heart stopped for a second, a searing pain rushing through his chest before the organ stumbled into a rushed rhythm. His mouth hung open, his ears ringing. It was like his worst nightmare came true, and it was happening right now in front of him. He watched as the first tears fell and you whispered “So it’s true.”. The multi ghoul felt like he needed to throw up, his chest heaving and his tail erratic behind him.

Your eyes truly took him in then; The claws at his sides, the tail behind him, the grey skin, the tiniest peek of his fangs, the sharp ears and the golden eyes that shone through the slits of the silver mask. Those hands - those claws - that had caressed you many nights, had softly ran through your hair or across your skin, were the same ones that had the blood of so many people on them. His teeth, usually nipping you gently, had ripped out throats and limbs before. Had hurt and killed. murdered.

You swallowed thickly as a new wave of fear rushed through you. What were you doing? In the room alone with a killer and confronting him about it? If the things Dewdrop had said were true, then there was no way of knowing that he wouldn’t do it again. Your investigation in the library about those ‘special ghouls’ just before you got here, didn’t help either.

Swiss felt the instant shift from hurt to fear in you. He felt it deeply in his body and it itched at his insides. Satanas, he wanted to claw at himself, get rid of that feeling, rip it out from his insides.

He only recently had told the other ghouls about his past and the days following had been excruciating for him. It had created a rift in their relationship for a while. And even though everything seemed alright now, he knew they still thought about it from time to time. But they had been understanding, because they were also ghouls, because they had done similar things. He couldn’t expect the same understanding from you. A human.

Swiss watched your form shake as you cried silently and in that moment he wanted to die. He wanted to rush to Copias office and have himself be sent back to hell. Either by ritual or by a dagger to the heart.

As he started speaking, his own tears fell, his body rocking with sobs as he watched his relationship crumble in front of him.

-

Dew had felt a sick satisfaction as he listened carefully to what was being said. The two of you weren’t screaming at each other but the door did little to stop the fire ghoul from listening in on the conversation. The other ghouls sat strewn around the common room. Their own conversations had died down shortly after the smell of fear, hurt and sadness had crept through the cracks of the door.

The longer the argument went on the more suffocating the energy in the ghoul den got. Mountain had been the first to leave, excusing himself to his greenhouse to escape the all-consuming smell of a multi ghoul in distress. The girls had left together without a word. They didn’t need to say anything. Everyone knew.

One after another the rest of the ghouls left the den as the sounds of sobs grew louder from the bedroom. Phantom had scurried after the girls. Being a quintessence ghoul meant he felt everything even harsher than the other ghouls. And he couldn’t take it. Rain took his leave a little later after he couldn’t bear hearing Swiss cry anymore. It hurt too badly to stay.

The anger Dew had felt until just minutes ago was almost non-existent now. Instead, the ugly grasps of guilt had a tright grip on him, threatening to pull him under and drown him in it. He tried to tell himself that Swiss deserved it. That he didn’t do anything wrong. You did deserve to know what Swiss was, after all. But Dew knew it had not been his place to tell you. And not in the way he did. Using you to get a reaction out of Swiss. To manipulate you into thinking a certain way about the multi ghoul. His chest felt heavy with guilt, suffocating him from the inside.

He didn’t blame the other ghouls for leaving the den. The atmosphere was devastating. The smell of distress thick in the air. This was even worse than when Swiss had come clean with them a few weeks prior. And suddenly Dew wasn’t so sure what this would do to Swiss. He had been a wreck last time, there was no way of knowing what would happen this time.

Aether was the last to leave. He sighed as he got up from the sofa, turning to leave the den like the others had before turning back to Dewdrop with a snarl. It was so entirely unlike Aether, that Dew felt himself recoil at the gesture.

“You told them, didn’t you?”, he asked, disappointment in his eyes. Dew didn’t say anything but that was answer enough for the quintessence ghoul.

“You’ve said fucked up things before, Dewdrop. But this was a real low blow, even for you.”

And with that, Aether left the den without looking back at the fire ghoul still sitting on the couch. Dew’s own eyes stung with tears as he felt everything he had done crashing down on him. The tears didn’t fall though, because before they could, the door to Swiss’s room opened.

Your still crying form walked through the door and into the direction of the den’s exit. Swiss followed slowly, not daring to be too close to you. He stopped in the middle of the common room and watched with heavy sobs as you closed the door behind yourself. His eyes were transfixed on the door as if he was waiting for you to open it again. Open it and run back to him, leap into his arms and hug him, kiss him. Telling him everything was going to be alright.

But the door never opened.

Swiss turned to Dewdrop and when their eyes met, the fire ghoul felt like he was being pulled down into the pit. He had never, not even then, seen Swiss like this. Completely and utterly gone. Dew waited for Swiss to snap at him. To launch himself at the smaller ghoul and rip him to pieces. He wouldn’t have fighted back, he would’ve let it happen. He knew what he did was not excusable.

But the attack never came. Instead there was a shaky breath from the multi ghoul as he mustered up a bitter smile. “I hope you got what you wanted, firefly.”

He left the den as well. Where to, Dew didn’t know.

But the feeling in his stomach was so incredibly painful, he didn’t dare to move off the couch. And Dew had never hated himself more than in that moment.

[sodoshame]

Superglue.

Pairing: Mostly Swiss x Fem!Reader but it’s a poly!ghoul situation lol

Warnings: Angst, comfort, touch-starved reader

A/N: This is incredibly self-indulgent because I’m ridiculously touch-starved lmao.

Swiss had only recently noticed the way Y/N seemed to react to touch. Even little touches here and there- at first, she would flinch; then eventually leaned into the touch. She looked on with a look of what appeared to be envy and sadness when she saw the affection the others gave and received.

The ghouls very rarely touched her; her initial flinch response had made them wary; they didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. It hit Swiss the other day when he watched Mountain cleaning up a cut that Y/N had. Mountain touched her with such gentleness and sincerity; she leaned into it, her eyes glossy and almost desperate. That hit Swiss like a ton of bricks.

Y/N never really got upset to the point of tears in front of the ghouls, she seemed to just display anger. Despite that, Swiss could detect a hint of fear, sadness and longing whenever she would lash out at anyone; she’d storm off after, tears in her eyes. If anyone tried to follow her, they’d get immediately shut down and shut out.

-

Swiss watched intently from the table as Y/N washed up from dinner. The others had gone back to the den, but he had decided to stay and keep her company. She had seemed slightly snappy at dinner tonight, her responses to everyone were short and sharp. Despite this, Swiss had noticed that her hands were shaking anytime she picked anything up, her legs anxiously bouncing under the table.

“Fuck! Ow, shit.”

Swiss was bought out of his thoughts by Y/N’s string of curse words. He stood up, walking over to her as he noticed her wrapping a hand towel around her now bleeding finger.

“You okay? Let me see-”

“It’s fine. I’m fine.” She snapped, not even looking at him.

“Y/N-” He started as he put his hand up to her back.

She quickly flinched, moving away as she practically glared at him.

Swiss frowned, looking down at her as he stepped back a little; his features laced with concern.

“I’m just trying to help.” He said, studying her face. He watched as her expression changed from irritated to a strange mixture of regret and sadness. He gently reached out, resting his hand on her shoulder. Y/N flinched, but didn’t move away from him.

“I’m sorry, I- I didn’t mean to-” She started, her voice no longer snappy, instead it seemed… fearful? Swiss took a step closer, his hand still gently on her shoulder as he studied her face.

“You’re okay, Y/N. Don’t apologise.” He said, his tone was sincere and caring. Taking another step closer, he looked down at her as he felt her starting to lean into him; she had tears in her eyes.

Slowly, Swiss gently wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a comfortable, but not suffocating embrace. He felt Y/N relax into him slightly, her breathing ragged and shaky. The ghoul brought his hand up to her head, securing her in the hug.

“You’re okay, sweetheart.” He mumbled as he heard a raspy sob come from her as she started shaking. Y/N pressed her face into Swiss’ neck, her hands clinging to his shirt for dear life. He stroked her hair softly, holding her close to him, he felt his heart break as she sobbed into his chest.

“Y/N, honey, listen to me. Breathe in… And out… In… and out.” His voice was almost pleading with her, but it didn’t work. She clung so tightly to him, almost like she was afraid that he would disappear. He kept stroking her hair and holding her, just letting her get it out of her system. After a little while, she began to calm down; she still had tears running down her face but she was breathing more evenly.

“Good job, sweetheart. I’ve got you, okay? You’re alright.” Swiss soothed, rubbing gentle circles on her back. Y/N finally pulled her face away from his neck, looking up at him with watery eyes and tear stained cheeks. She didn’t let go of his shirt, the fabric was still balled up in her fists. Swiss moved his hands to gently rest on her waist as he studied her; he brought one hand up to gently wipe away her tears with his sleeve.

“What happened, love?” He asked, his voice gentle and soft.

“I- I don’t really know.” She mumbled, looking up at him with a desperate, sad look in her eyes.

Swiss nodded in response as he stroked a stray hair behind her ear.

“Y/N… Whatever happened to you before, it will never ever happen here, okay? We will take care of you. All I want is for you to trust us enough to be honest when you’re struggling, okay sweetheart?” He said, his eyes sincere. She nodded as tears started to well up in her eyes again. Swiss pulled her back into a tight hug, quietly shushing her as he rubbed her back whilst she cried.

In one swift motion, he pick Y/N up- her arms wrapped around his neck. The ghoul had one arm under her thighs, supporting her as her legs wrapped around his waist. His other hand was soothingly rubbing her back in small, comforting circles.

“I’m gonna take you to the den, okay? You’re going to be okay.” Swiss said as he started walking, carrying her. She didn’t say anything, just letting out a quiet sob into his shoulder, gripping him ever so slightly tighter.

Once at the ghoul’s den, Y/N was practically swarmed by them.

“Hey! Give her some space, would you?” Swiss said, a slight edge to his voice. She nuzzled her face into his neck, almost embarrassed for the others to see her like this. He slowly let her down, her feet now back on the ground; she was hesitant to let go at first, but she felt a large hand resting on her back, and she slowly unwrapped herself from Swiss, turning around to see Mountain offering a small smile.

“We’ve got just the thing that will help, buttercup.” Mountain said, his voice soft and warm. The tall ghoul led Y/N to the couch; he sat down and patted the space next to him. Once she sat down, they were quickly joined by the others; Swiss sat the other side of her, wrapping an arm around her, Sodo just sat himself right on top of her, snuggling in closely as he started softly purring; Rain sat on the floor below, using Swiss’ legs as a pillow, whilst he wrapped himself around her legs, gently rubbing her knee with his thumb, and Phantom sat down on Mountain’s lap, squishing close to both him and Y/N.

She was surrounded by the comfort of her ghouls, all of them touching her in some shape or form; all of them showing her sweet affection and nothing else. She breathed out a sigh, glancing around before letting her eyes flutter shut.

[jackmeowison]

Don’t say fuck on overwatch, you will get permabanned 🫡

Old angst because I love putting r76 through the meat grinder (honey if you see this, I’m so sorry I do this to our boys, please don’t make me sleep on the couch,)

[iamthecomet]

What the FUCK do you mean by those angst tags, explain yourself IMMEDIATELY - -

In reference to this

I just mean....and let's just think about it in I don't know...Rulti terms...there's a connection they can't explain. It's like when Swiss was summoned something in Rain's chest constricted. Something in the back of his mind said home.

They can't explain this familiarity. Not in words. But they know what it feels like. It feels like they've spent a thousand years together, and another thousand searching for each other again. It feels like they've done this before. There's an ache they can't explain. A desperation. The way Rain holds onto Swiss when they sleep says it all. Fingers dimpling into his forearm, his stomach. Face pressed tight between his shoulderblades. That voice in the back of his head whispering fiercly mine.

And maybe they figure it out. Maybe they remember. Maybe Aether uses a little quintessence to drag the truth out of them because why are these two ghouls who don't know each other so co-dependent? Why does Swiss' heart rate spike when he can't locate Rain in a crowded room. But they do know each other don't they? From places in the pit. Past lives. Past selves. Other summonings. From their short stints of humanity. Their history is woven together, splitting off but always finding it's way back to the other. And maybe they don't remember--but their bodies do. They remember the good times. But even more they remember the bad. The tearing away from each other. The universe cleaving them from each other over and over again. And they know, of course they know, that it will end the same this time too. It always does. Their time topside is borrowed--that's part of the deal. They will sink back into the pit. Fire will burn clean through their bond. They'll forget all over again, no matter how many times they promise each other that this time is different. This time they'll remember. Swiss whispers it into Rain's curls. Swears he won't forget the sea-salt smell of him. Swears he will know the taste of him across infinity. He doesn't mean for it to be a lie.

[pro-memoriia]

Phantom angst thoughts </3

But also with pack comfort because I didn't know how else to end it.

TW: Anxiety attack (?), self esteem issues, over thinking, hyperventilating, non-purposeful SH (scratching, throat grabbing, hitting, and hair pulling), one tiny mention of bleeding, crying

Phantom's self esteem reaches lower than the Pacific.

He's sensitive. He hates it, he does, but he is. And it's his weakness. He gets anxious about what other people think when he makes any small mistake. He feels such an overwhelming amount of shame for any small thing someone gets onto him for.

He brushes it off like he's fine, but he's different after it. His smile is forced, his tail goes still, his ears flick back, and his beautiful obsidian purple eyes get all dull.

He isolates himself in his bedroom, pretending to practice his powers or take naps. Sometimes Swiss or Mountain or the others will offer to come cuddle. But he says no, too embarrassed to even be comfortable with someone he loves so much even looking at him.

He curls up in bed and starts thinking. He thinks and thinks until his mind starts spiraling. He doesn't know what's going on anymore. All he can focus on is how stupid he is and how much everybody hates him.

His throat tightens, his expressions keep shifting. His eyes start to burn with tears. He tries his best to take deep breaths, but he can never seem to get enough air into his lungs. He panics and struggles to breathe. And soon he feels the warm, salty droplets start to flood down his face. There's no easing into it. There aren't a few small tears first. No, they come down like a waterfall, making his face red and wet. His body wracks with sobs and he starts grabbing his throat, thinking it might help him breathe. His eyes are wide and stinging. He starts to feel trapped. He cries out, but it's weak and strangled. His hands move and he squeezes himself. His nails rake down his arms hard enough to draw blood. His body curls up as much as possible, not even aware or careful of the way it could hurt his back. His fists clench and he wails into his pillow. His eyes burn so much and he hates it. He moves his hands again and pulls his nails down his face over his eyes. He frantically rubs them and just keeps sobbing. His knees are at his chest and his tail goes between them and wraps around one of his calves. He pulls his forearms over his head. He hits himself and pulls his hair in hopes to make the overwhelming sensations stop. He tries to scream, but all that comes out is a sad, broken squawk. He needs help, but he can't reach it. He's too deep now.

His hands cover his ears and he rocks back and forth. He tries to focus on the voices in his head, the ones of Swiss and Rain comforting him, helping him through his anxieties. The one of Mountain reassuring him that everything will be alright. The voice of Dew telling him to calm down because there's nobody out to get him or anything. The ones of the ghoulettes pampering him and telling him how loved he is.

He tries to focus on all the sweet things they always said, but all he could hear were the bad ones. He heard Swiss' slightly annoyed tone, Dew's yelling, the ghoulette's scolding, even Copia's disappointed voice. He hears the voices of every "fan" or Clergy member or ghoul who told him he wasn't good enough. He was a mistake, a replacement, an accident, an incompetent dog who should've been sent right back to The Pits.

He bawls his eyes out all night until things go black.

And when he wakes up, he expects to feel alone and isolated. Stupid and unworthy.

But instead he wakes up to warmth. He opens his eyes and sees Swiss laying in front him, snoring away. He has an arm draped over Phantom's torso and another cradling his face.

Phantom feels tears brimming in his eyes again. He feels like this isn't real. He whimpers and is immediately shushed by two voices. Mountain is behind him and pulls him close to press a kiss on his head. Rain is on the other side of Mountain to softly reassure the quint that everything is okay.

Phantom looks around and sees everyone from his pack all cuddled around him. Some of the ghoulettes are stacked and Dew is sleeping on Rain's legs.

And he realizes that they're all there for him. They're all there because they love and care about him.

He's not a screw up. He's not a mistake or an accident. And he's not an incompetent dog.

He's a ghoul, and he's part of a pack who treasures him.

Swiss is half asleep and moves his other hand to hold Phantom's face.

"Cheer up, love bug," Swiss tells him. "You're alright."

Phantom sobs softly as Swiss wipes his tears.

And after some coaxing and sweet words, he's falls back into sleep, now rid of his nightmares and thoughts of self hatred.

He is loved.

[kelthebarb]

dew likes to watch the rain.

he sits by the big window in the ghoul common room, hands in his lap, eyes wandering over the courtyard outside.

everyone else knows not to bother him during this time. whenever they hear the pitter patter of the rain on the windows, they know not to go looking for Dew. it’s his time.

why does he do this?

it reminds him of who he used to be. before the Clergy took his element away. he doesn’t feel right in his own skin anymore. he’s too warm for his own liking. he changed, and he doesn’t like it.

everyone else tries to help him. they feel terrible, almost guilty for letting the Clergy take him away from them — take their dewdrop away. it wasn’t a matter of his element, it was a matter of his happiness. dew hates what he became.

everyone else tries to help him. mountain, the most. he hates seeing his mate like this, practically a shell. he’s not like he was, he’s distant. it’s almost like he’s a memory for mountain. he tries to break the walls that the transformation put around his beloved, but nothing he tries ever works.

mountain tries everything. taking him swimming in the lake — ending up with dew sitting on the dock and mountain trying to gently coax him into the lake.

he wants his dew back.

dew hates the emotional turmoil he’s putting on his packmates. his brain calls him a burden. he tries to fake being how he was, but it hurts him to keep it up. nobody ever believes him, anyway. they can see right through him, and it almost hurts him to see how easily they know their dewdrop.

dew feels wrong every time mountain calls him ‘honeybee.’ it was all because of his purring. his gills made it sound like the buzz of a honeybee. it was the most adorable nickname, and he was mountain’s honeybee.

his purring is more like growling now. gravelly and scratchy. he wants to be mountain’s honeybee again, even if mountain never stopped calling him that.

he looks in the mirror and sees how he changed. he hates it.

the way his hair went from a silvery blonde to an orangey blonde. the way his eyes went from a beautiful dark blue to dark grey. his scarred gills.

mountain would admit it a thousand times; he was still beautiful as ever, but it didn’t feel right. because dew didn’t feel right in his own body.

the thing about dew’s transformation that messed mountain up the most was his scent. fresh rain, the morning dew, dry sand on the beach.

it was a scent that mountain looked forward to when he entered dew’s vicinity. it still lingered on some of dew’s things, on the bedsheets in mountain’s room, on mountain himself.

after that day, the scent was gone. replaced by the scent of a blown out candle.

one that lost its flame.

he wants his dew back.

[ravenssilver]

I would adore if you could make an Aeon angst where he feels abandoned or like he’s not worth being in the ministry, and one of the ghouls (any of your choice) finds him and comforts him? You don’t have to if you don’t want too I’m just in love with your writing!!

ahh anon !! i will happily throw out some aeon/swiss hurt/comfort. you feed into my muse🫶🫶

here is me indulging in my favorite thing—aka 2.2k words of aeon feeling abandoned and swiss loving on him anyway🤍

cw: aeon being anxious, aeon has minor abandonment issues, minor panic attack

under the cut, if you please<3

Aeon was giddy after a particularly good ritual. He and Swiss seemed to have developed a pre-show ritual of practically being attached to each other’s hips and walking on stage together. He had hit every note perfectly and gotten to every cue, bouncing happily to the beat of the songs all the while. The audience had been fantastic and he had gotten at least five bat plushes thrown at him before bows, and he was sure some of the crew had picked up the rest.

Though, as Aeon took a quick shower to get all his sweat off, he thought about the other ghouls during the ritual.

Cirrus and Cumulus didn’t pay him any mind whenever he went over to them, Dewdrop seemed annoyed when Aeon was all over him during Absolution, Rain didn’t seem all that amused by the slides in Watcher, and Papa seemed actually upset when he had cut in front of him for his part in Year Zero.

Aeon frowned when he remembered how he had subconsciously given up on interacting with the band after Mary On a Cross when Papa didn’t even look at him when the song quieted down for a few measures.

And during Square Hammer, his final chance to maybe get an interaction, Aurora was play flirting with Swiss from across the stage when Aeon was meant to be on her platform.

Aeon hissed when he accidentally got soap in his eye, a frown etched on his face as he felt his heart aching with doubt in himself.

Did his packmates think he was annoying? Did Papa think he was annoying?

Maybe they’re just tired… Yeah, that had to be it. He didn’t remember doing anything wrong, much less annoying.

Aeon quickly finished up with his shower and changed into some clothes he had stolen from Swiss, grinning when he saw the slight bagginess of his pack mate’s clothes on him.

With a pep in his step due to his shower and how he now felt clean, Aeon happily left the dressing room and went to the parking lot where the buses were.

Though, as soon as he got outside he froze in his tracks.

The buses were gone.

A distressed sound left Aeon and be spun around in a circle as if the building behind him would’ve somehow turned into the tour buses. Aeon chuffed worriedly when he just saw the door he had come out of and went back inside, some of his glamor starting to slip as his thoughts spiraled.

They left him. They got on the busses and left him alone. He was stuck—trapped.

Abandoned.

A distressed whine left Aeon and he picked up the pace of his footsteps, desperate to find his pack or his Papa. Aeon felt like his throat was closing up, his ears pinned and twitching at every single noise he heard as his hands started to shake.

Much to his dismay, instead of someone he knew, Aeon ran into a member of the venue staff and he had hurt himself by quickly throwing up his glamor.

Aeon’s head pulsed with an intense ache as his eyes darted around, his glamoured nails clicking as he picked at them.

“Hey, are you alright?” The woman asked, her eyebrows furrowed as she placed her hand on Aeon’s shoulder. Aeon wanted to say yes, try to reassure her that he was fine when he so clearly wasn’t. But when his throat closed up even tighter, tears welled in his eyes and his shaking became a lot more obvious.

“Woah, it’s okay, breathe. Why aren’t you with everyone else out back? They’re leaving for the hotel in about five minutes,” The woman said, her eyebrows furrowed as she tried to get Aeon to calm down.

A tear fell from Aeon’s lash line when she told him that. He nodded and turned on his heel, rushing away from her as he went to the back of the venue.

Nobody had told him that there was a rest day after that nights ritual. Nobody had told him that they would be going to a hotel that night instead of getting back on the buses.

Aeon rushed outside, signing in relief when he saw Papa and the rest of his pack standing outside of a van. He wiped his eyes and face of tears, trying to cover up the panic in his scent that he knew was there.

“Ah, there you are,” Copia sighed when Aeon silently walked up next to Rain, huddled in on himself. “We’ve been waiting for you. Where have you been?” Copia asked, his eyes narrowed.

“I didn’t-“ Aeon went to respond, only for Copia to throw his hands up in the air and mumble annoyed Italian to himself as he went to make sure all their bags were ready to go to the hotel.

Another distressed sound left Aeon as he felt a pit form in his stomach. He looked down and pulled the hood of Swiss’ hoodie up over his head, hiding his face from his pack who weren’t paying attention anyway.

Aeon’s shoulders shook as he messed with the end of his sleeves, his body trembling with anxiety as his thoughts continued to spiral.

Look what you did, you made Papa mad. You held everyone up and now they’re all mad at you. You’re cutting off their resting time like a total idiot. How dumb do you have to be to not remember a schedule?

Aeon clambered into the van first as soon as the doors opened, wanting the front row seat closest to the window on the drivers side so nobody would see his tears.

He heard a low growl from Dew, as that was usually the fire ghoul’s spot, the annoyed sound only adding fuel to the dumpster fire that was Aeon’s brain.

He buckled and curled into himself, burying his face in his knees as his thoughts just went further and further down the spiral of self doubt and insecurity.

The next twenty minutes went by in a blur. One moment Aeon was curled up into himself on an uncomfortable seat—the next, Aeon was curled up on an uncomfortable hotel couch as he stared at the wall, tears slowly trailing down his face.

Aeon had fully unglamoured, his tail wrapped tightly around his ankle as his claws dragged along the discolored part of his face around his right eye. Waves and waves of distress rolled off of him as he whimpered every now and then.

They all hate you. You’re just a replacement for someone they all loved. A penny in the crater sized hole in their hearts where the prior quintessence ghoul was.

The better quintessence ghoul.

Aeon sobbed, closing his eyes and burying his face into the hoodie he had stolen from his favorite multi-ghoul.

He wasn’t Swiss’ favorite, though.

Aeon whined and immediately tore off Swiss’ hoodie and sweatpants, chucking the clothes across the hotel room, leaving him in his boxers.

Aeon snuffled and laid back down, curling up into himself even tighter as to fight off the chill of the unreasonably cold hotel room.

He wanted Swiss. Dewdrop, even.

He wanted to be warm. He wanted to be loved. Appreciated by the creatures he had around him everyday. Aeon loved the crowd’s praise, but he wanted his pack now. Even just one of them would suffice.

He wanted to know that they saw how hard he was trying. He wanted to know that they appreciated him for stepping into shoes that were far too big and running the miles anyway.

He just wanted to be seen.

“Stardust..?”

Aeon picked up his head and looked over at the door to his hotel room, his ear twitching as he heard Swiss’ voice.

“Hey… Aeon, you awake? C’mon, your scent changed, I know you hear me..” Swiss said, knocking on the door again.

Aeon looked over at the digital clock that was across the room, taking a moment to remember everything Mountain taught him about reading a clock.

It had been two hours since they got to the hotel.

“Bug? Can you come to the door?” Swiss spoke again, regaining Aeon’s attention.

Aeon scrambled up, not wanting to annoy Swiss even more than he thought he had. Aeon snatched the duvet on his bed and struggled to get it off the mattress due to the unnecessarily tight tucking of the bedding.

As soon as Aeon managed to get the duvet off the bed, he fell to the floor with a yelp due to how suddenly the tension released. The little quint scrambled back up to his feet and wrapped the duvet around his mostly bare body, ignoring the pain in his hip from the fall.

Aeon opened the door and peaked through, his lilac eyes staring up into Swiss’. The multi-ghoul quickly moved closer when he saw Aeon wasn’t glamoured.

And to Aeon’s dismay, that allowed Swiss to see the tear streaks on his face.

“Stardust, what’s wrong?” Swiss frowned, gently cupping Aeon’s cheek with his big hand. Aeon snuffled, choking back a sob as he leaned into Swiss’ hand.

Swiss frowned and crowded Aeon back into his room, closing the hotel door and locking it before he brought Aeon over to his bed and sat him down, pulling the duvet around tighter around the smaller ghoul’s body when he felt how cold it was in the room.

“Talk to me, Tommy, what’s wrong?” Swiss spoke softly, his eyebrows creased with worry as he brushed his thumb over the little quint’s cheekbone. Aeon’s bloodshot eyes hesitantly looked into Swiss’ as he sniffled again, wiping the snot away from his face with his wrist.

It was gross, but Swiss was far too concerned about Aeon’s tears to even notice his actions.

“I… I feel like you don’t like me. Like-“ Aeon sobbed softly and covered his face. “Like you’ve all been lying to me and that you don’t want me here…”

Swiss’ heart shattered.

“Oh, bug…” Swiss whispered as he swept Aeon up into his arms. It was all he could say at the moment, his own devastation rushing through him.

Swiss didn’t know what he or the pack had done to make Aeon feel this way, but he would kick himself for eternity because of it.

“You will always, always be wanted, Stardust. I know that if the others were here, they’d be all over you telling you the exact same thing.” Swiss whispered, holding Aeon close to his chest as the smaller ghoul sobbed out all his sudden and overwhelming emotions.

Swiss let Aeon cry, not once shushing him or trying to get him to stop crying. He didn’t want Aeon to feel like he was being a burden, so Swiss let him cry until he felt better.

“Swiss…?” Aeon whispered after about 10 or so minutes, seemingly shy. Swiss hummed and looked down at Aeon, staring into his lilac eyes with as much love and affection that he could muster. “I… can you get my clothes..? I threw them over there…” Aeon mumbled, pointing across the room.

“Of course, babybat, one second,” Swiss said immediately, gently setting Aeon back on the mattress and pressing a kiss to his forehead before rushing over to where Aeon had pointed.

Swiss picked up the dark gray hoodie and sweatpants, his eyebrows furrowing when he recognized the feel of the fabric.

“Are these mine?” Swiss asked, wondering if they were his favorite set that he had lost. Aeon shrunk into himself and nodded as Swiss walked over. “I took them a few months ago.. I’m sorry..” Aeon apologized, looking sad.

“Don’t be sorry,” Swiss smiled, shaking his head as he gently guided Aeon to unwrap himself of the duvet. Swiss mumbled a quiet: “watch your horns…” as he slipped the hoodie over Aeon’s head, smiling when he saw just how adorable the smaller ghoul looked in his clothes.

“The gray matches your skin better anyway,” Swiss shrugged with a grin, ruffling Aeon’s shaggy black hair and helping him into the sweatpants. Aeon chirruped softly and leaned into Swiss’ touch, a quiet little purr starting up in his chest as Swiss swept him off his feet.

Aeon laughed happily, a grin on his face as Swiss laid him down, his head resting on the pillows. Swiss re-situated the bedding and laid down next to Aeon after flicking off all the lights, nuzzling Aeon’s nose as they settled into the bed together.

“Feeling better…?” Swiss asked softly, brushing his thumb over Aeon’s cheekbone, his eyes taking in Aeon’s appearance in the darkness. Aeon thought for a moment before nodding slightly, only to shake his head.

Swiss frowned, cupping Aeon’s jaw with his big hand.

“Talk to me?”

Aeon sighed a bit before starting to explain.

“You made me feel better than I did.. but I.. I guess I’m still thinking about the others. You can only promise so much, y’know?” Aeon mumbled, sounding sad. Swiss’ frown deepened but Aeon was right.

From the quint’s point of view, Swiss’ words about the others were just as good as the lies his brain was feeding him.

“Do you want me to talk to them? Have them talk to you?” Swiss asked, wanting Aeon to feel at home in the pack. “Can I… um.. can I try to talk to them first?” Aeon asked, sounding nervous.

Swiss’ heart swelled and he nodded immediately.

“Of course you can, Stardust. I’ll let you go about this however you please….” Swiss whispered, kissing Aeon’s forehead between his horns.

Aeon purred and leaned into the kiss, cuddling up closer to Swiss.

“Thank you, Swiss.”

“Anytime, Stardust.”

[ghostedghouls]

Until then..

✢ Plot: Everyone has noticed how Swiss is going absolutely crazy on stage this tour. And I am going to ruin it for everyone and write angst about it because I'm an asshole like that.

or; how swiss handles his fear of abandonment after aether got sent back to the pit.

✢ genre: angst

✢ warnings: panic attack (sort of?)

✢ a/n: this doesn't follow my actual headcanons, i just wanted to explore this idea a bit. Also please don't apply this to the irl situation. This is pure fiction and is not meant to be taken any other way! I write about the fictional characters, not the real life people behind them.

Mountain eyed the multi ghoul carefully from where he was sitting in the dressing room. The other ghoul was heaving and sweaty, his shoulders raising and falling dramatically with each breath.

Mountain waited for the other ghouls to leave before he cornered Swiss.

"What's up with you.", he asked in a serious voice, the multi ghoul jumping slightly. He had clearly been in his thoughts.

"What do you mean?", Swiss asked, pulling a clean shirt over his head, carefully manuvering his horns through the collar.

"On stage.", Mountain said, crossing his arms, "You're... different."

Swiss turned to the earth ghoul fully, cracking his signature smile but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Enjoying the show, big guy?", he tried to joke but Mountain knew something was off. The way Swiss moved, how he held his guitar, how he threw himself to the floor, it all felt... strange. Admittedly, Swiss was known for his weird dances, shimmies and the overall feral-ness when he performed. The fans loved it, too. But something had changed and Mountain couldn't quite put his finger on it, he just knew that it did.

Mountain could see the smile on Swiss' lips waver for a second. It was unlike Swiss to not tell the others if something bothered him. He was tired? He would complain about it. He was mad about something another ghoul did? He would talk it out with the other ghoul to clear the air. He was sad? He would ask for a hug or go to another ghoul's room to cuddle.

Swiss had always been open about how he felt. He knew that communication was key and he was good at it.

"I see you out of the corner of my eyes the whole show. There's just something different about the way you present yourself. Satanas, you literally fell full body into the floor. I have never seen you do that before."

Swiss' smile dropped while Mountain was talking, his eyes distant and lost in thought but he quickly composed himself, scoffing jokingly. "Where have you been for the last years, mounty? I always mess around on stage. It's what the people like about me. I just stepped up my game this tour. People grow tired of the same old shit, they want to see something new and I delivered.", he explained but the earth ghoul didn't buy it. He didn't know whether he should push the multi ghoul, though. If Swiss was not telling him the truth, maybe it was direspectful to pry? Or maybe he was reading too much into it.

"You know you can talk to us if something is upsetting you, right?", the tall ghoul asked and Swiss rolled his eyes with a smile. "Of course. And you know I would if there was actually something wrong. Now go to the others, I'm gonna need a little longer."

-

Mountain had not pried after that. He just watched Swiss as the shows went on, watched how he moved, how he acted.

And it still didn't sit right with him.

Each ritual, Swiss got worse. He would throw himself to the floor, would drop to his knees like he was in pain, holding his head. The fans loved every second of it, liking the act of the feral ghoul he was portraying. But after each show, Swiss would stumble to the dressing rooms, clearly exhausted. He was very obviously unwell.

The rest of the ghouls had noticed the change in his performance as well, had asked Swiss why he was trying to be an overachiever recently. Swiss had grown visibly irritated by their teasing and had left to his bunk early. The other ghouls had exchanged confused looks but they just figured that they had hurt his ego.

"What was up with that?", Dewdrop had asked, kicking his feet up on the table, the joint he had been sharing with Swiss between his fingers.

"Maybe he's actually hurt.", Rain tried, "He's really been giving his all on stage lately."

"Yeah," Cumulus agreed, "He's soaked when he leaves the stage. I've never seen him so worn out after a show until this tour."

The others had responded with hums of agreement, wondering what had changed.

"Maybe he is trying to distract himself.", Mountain said, all eyes trained on him as he spoke. "From.. you know.. what happened with Aether.". The silence that followed was filled with sadness and grief.

"Maybe.", Rain whispered, his eyes staring into nothingness as his heart felt heavy in his chest.

-

That night Swiss laid awake in his bed, staring at the ceiling with tired eyes, but sleep eluded him.

He felt shaky even as he laid completely still. Maybe it was the last bit of weed flowing through his body, or maybe his body was just really exhausted from today's ritual.

He had heard the others talk about Aether after he had left and an uncomfortable feeling had spread through his chest. His heart had started hammering like he was being chased, his body suddenly so sweaty he had to remove the blanket. Fear. True and utter fear crashed through the multi ghoul as he laid in his bed, thinking about Aether. Swiss felt wetness prickle in his eyes but he blinked it away quickly.

Aether had always given his all, had played the guitar skillfully and had entertained the crowd. But still it wasn't enough. Still, he got sent back to the pit.

Maybe...- Maybe if Swiss tried harder, gave everything he's got, he would be safe. Safe from being sent back to the pit. Safe from being abandoned.

He started shaking harder, his heart pounding painfully in his ribcage. Fuck, he had to be better. He had to perform better than before, had to charm the crowd, had to show Papa that he was good at what he was doing.

Had to prove that he was worthy of being there.

He quickly turned to his side, hoping that the change in position would stop the shaking at least, but it didn't.

Maybe he could try to make the fans love him as much as possible. He could be lewd, could be a flirt, so that they cheered the loudest for him. Maybe then the clergy would know that he was devoted enough. That he was the right ghoul for this!

His tail curled around his leg for comfort but instead he started to feel claustrophobic. He quickly released it from around himself but it didn't help. He felt like the bunk was closing in on him, like he would get squished if he didn't move, like he would- oh satanas he would- surely not- he would not-

With a gasp Swiss leapt out from his bunk, landing noisily on the floor of the bus, his heart still racing in his chest. Sweat dripped down his neck and he felt the eyes of his mates on him.

His shoulders heaved with each painful breath and he nearly collapsed when he felt a hand on his back. He whirled around in shock instead, looking into the worried eyes of Mountain.

"Swiss.", he started, his voice calm and collected but clearly worried for his packmate. "Come here.", was all he whispered before dragging the multi ghoul into a tight hug. He didn't return it at first, but slowly his hands found the taller ghoul's back. After a minuted Mountain released Swiss from his embrace and watched him with sad eyes.

Mountain didn't speak, he knew the words laid on Swiss' tongue.

"I-..." Swiss looked up at Mountain, his eyes filled with tears. "I am afraid."

Mountain's warm hand returned to Swiss' shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze. "What are you afraid of?", the earth ghoul asked carefully.

"That what happened to Aether could happen to me.", he admitted and his voice broke in the middle.

Mountain swallowed his own emotions as he encouraged Swiss to continue speaking.

"Aether was good. Aether was liked by the crowd. And yet-..." A deep breath. "And yet, he was sent back like he was nothing. Like he was just another ghoul working for the clergy. How do I know it will not happen to me? What if one day Papa wakes up and I am not good enough anymore? What if one day, they find some other multi ghoul because they want something 'fresh', something 'new' and 'exciting'?"

The other ghouls stared in silence. Swiss was right. Each of them could be replaced any day. There was no knowing what Sister Imperator or the higher glercy members had planned. There had been no sign that Aether would have to leave. It had happened out of nowhere. Hell, even their Papa could get retired by the clergy any second. It had happened in the past and it would surely happen again, they knew that. It didn't make it any less daunting.

"Swiss, there is nothing you can do.", Mountain started. "What happened to Aether could happen to all of us. I know it's scary but no matter how you act, how you present yourself, how much you try to be perfect, it wouldn't change a thing for them. Aether didn't get sent back because he wasn't good enough. He got sent back because the clergy follows some weird plan that we have no knowledge of. There is a possibility that we all will get sent back at one point, yes. But don't ever think it is because you aren't enough."

Swiss felt a weird mixture of dread and calmness. Mountain was right, they could be next any second but it wouldn't mean that he had failed, had not lived up to expectations. It was unavoidable and there was something calming about that.

He nodded, wiping a tear from his cheek with a deep inhale.

"Until then, we have each other."

[ghulehbleh]

Dewdrop is a kitty and he clings to Cumulus like the little kitty he is. He kneads her tummy and her thighs and he kneads her breasts too and oh does she love it. She loves her little kitty. Loves when he snuggles up to her at night, when he purrs against her when she scratches his scalp, when he rubs against her cheek in the early morning. Her pretty kitty.

[ghulehthezombiequeen]

stay with me - swiss ghoul x reader

masterlist.

Author’s note: Hey ghesties I was in the mood to write some heart-wrenching angst because I love it sm, also this is my first ghost fic I’ve ever written so yeah hope you like it and requests are always open :) also any ghouls I write for are to be read as the characters, not the people behind the masks. Enjoy!! 

Other things to note: reader’s gender is not mentioned, reader and swiss are in an established relationship, reader’s mental health is not the greatest, reader has a black cat named Jiji, reader is in the 3rd year of college.

Warnings: ANGST ANGST ANGST, slightly suggestive towards the end, hurt/comfort, no pronouns used for reader (swiss calls reader 'baby')

Word count: 1569 words

You had secluded yourself in your room, fuming. You and Swiss had just had a massive argument, the whole time you just felt arguing with him was pointless; but he wouldn’t give up. This time he had really hurt you, saying that if you weren’t going to support him, maybe you two should break up. Jiji, your teeny ball of adorable darkness, trotted over to you and rubbed its head on your leg. You sighed and picked him up, holding him close to your chest. You gave him a few kisses and he mewed as you sat down on your bed. 

“..Jiji.. what am I gonna do.. he won’t listen to me..” You whispered softly as you pet him. He mewed again in response, softly purring on your arms. You chuckled lightly, then felt a few tears welling in your eyes. 

“This whole thing just feels like…” you trailed off, mostly talking to yourself. You sniffed as tears started to fall. “..Maybe he’s right.. y’know?.. Maybe I am destined to be alone forever…” You held Jiji a bit tighter, trying not to cry.

Suddenly, as if he had a sixth sense, Swiss barged into your room. “Baby.. baby, I’m so sorry.. please don’t cry.. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it..” He said quickly, rushing over to hug you. Jiji leapt from your arms and laid on the bed, right on your pillow. 

You stood up as he wrapped his arms around you, hugging you tightly. You sobbed into his chest, your hands holding onto his shirt tightly. 

“Shh.. I’m sorry baby, I’m so sorry.. I didn’t mean to say what I said, I’m so sorry..” Swiss whispered, rubbing your back soothingly as you continued to cry. After a few minutes of crying, you had calmed down a bit and started to speak. “..S-Swiss, I-“ 

He cut you off by placing a soft kiss to your lips. You stood in shock for a few seconds, another tear falling down your cheek. You kissed him back gently. “Shh.. ‘m so sorry, baby.. I never meant to make you feel alone..” He apologized over and over as he pulled away briefly to look into your eyes. 

“…if I’m being honest.. maybe you’re right..” You started, looking down. “..you know I don’t have enough money to follow you everywhere for your tours.. and then there’s my schooling..” Your voice catches in your throat as it hurt to say those words aloud. 

“…Wait.. What? What- what are you saying, love?” Swiss stared at you in shock and confusion. He had never thought that you would’ve actually thought of ending your relationship with him. 

“…y’know.. maybe we should take a break.. you’re always gone and.. and I need someone to be here for me, physically, for when I need hugs.. you know what I mean..?” You whispered, still looking down. It broke your heart to say those words, but maybe it really was for the best. 

He froze, his heart shattering inside his chest. His eyes got wide as he just looked at you.

“A.. A break…?” He stuttered, as if not believing what you said. “What do you mean? You want to... You want to... Be... Be away from me.. When I’m here..?” He asked, his voice sounding scared and he felt his eyes welling up. 

It broke your heart to see how badly your words had hurt him. 

“Take a break…” he repeated to himself, as if the words had just registered into his brain.

“But that means... That means... No more... No more... Kisses? No more... hugs... No more... Cuddling...? No more Jiji..?” His voice cracks towards the end of the sentence, now starting to cry. “Why…?” He asked, trying to stop you.

“Please... Please don’t do this..“He looked at you as if he was begging and his eyes were filled with desperate tears... He didn't want to do this, he didn't want to let you go. 

You looked back up at him as you heard him start to cry. 

“..I- I’m sorry, Swiss… b-but if you think that might be best-“

“No! No, I don’t think that’s the best!” Swiss exclaimed immediately. “Look, I- I let my temper get to the best of me, okay? I’m sorry I said that.. I didn’t mean it. Please, baby, don’t go.. I need you..“  He pleaded desperately, now starting to sob as well. 

You just stared at him longingly, feeling very guilty as you watched him cry. You started to cry as well, bringing a hand to your moth to try and stifle your sobs. “Please... I'm sorry... I'll do... I'll do anything... Please…” He begged again, holding you tighter. You sniffed. “..’m sorry, Swiss.. I’m so sorry..” You pulled away, wiping your tears. He stared at you in shock, deeply hurt. “..W-What do you mean..? You’re not… you’re not breaking up with me.. are you..?” He whispered. 

“I…” You were at a loss for words. You couldn’t bring yourself to actually break up with him. He was too perfect. You felt so terrible for doing this. “..Please.. don’t look at me like that..” You silently begged. He smiled sadly, caressing your cheeks with both his hands. He looked at you for a moment, then he leaned closer and he started kissing you tenderly, his lips meeting yours passionately and softly. He wasn't trying to be too quick, he just wanted to feel your body against him. He wanted to feel safe and loved by you again. 

You let out a soft whimper as you felt him kiss you. You stepped back a bit, but kissed him back softly. You pulled away briefly. “…Swiss.. I…” 

He stayed quiet for a few moments, but he kept kissing you. He was slowly picking up the pace, feeling you against him as his lips went down to your neck. “You're so beautiful... I missed your skin... I missed everything about you…” He whispered. He put his arm around your waist and he smiled, his eyes closed. For a few moments he felt safe and he felt free, he felt like nothing bad could happen now that he was with you again.

“Mm… S-Swiss.. please..” You put your hand on top of one of his to pull his arm off your waist, but instead it lingers. He looked at you, not believing you were still trying to end it. He was hurt so much that he didn't know how to answer you for a moment, he stayed silent. He started to open his mouth to say something, but then he closed it. He couldn't say anything... He felt like his words were trapped inside his throat. 

“Why…?” He asked softly. “Why do you want to... Break... U-us…?” He paused and his voice started to break now. He was about to cry again.

“Please, baby... Please... I love... I love you, I…”

He choked on his words and he covered his face to muffle his cry. “I can't... I can't do this... I can’t… I need you, baby..”

In that moment you regretted everything. You hated hurting him, and it just broke your heart to pieces to see him like this. 

“I’m so sorry, Swiss.. I’m so sorry.. I didn’t mean to hurt you..” You said in a quiet voice, hugging him tightly as you sobbed. He was held you as tight as he could without hurting you, his voice sounding broken and almost whispering.

“I love you…”

He kept looking at your face as he kissed you and he tried to make you happy, to make you stay.

“I.. I need you... Please, don't... Don't leave me...

He was caressed your face, and he kissed you again, a little more passionately than before.

“Please... Please... Baby…” He mumbled between kisses, and you felt his tears fall as well as yours. He was desperate and he didn't want you to go. 

You kissed him back with the same passion, feeling terrible. Your arms wrapped themselves around his neck, pulling him in closer as you two continued to kiss each other, both still crying. “I love you.. I’m so sorry, Swiss.. I’m so sorry..” You repeated every time in between kisses. 

“I love you... I love you…” He repeated his words, his voice breaking again as he continued to kiss you.

Eventually he backed you up to the bed and you both sat down, still giving each other short but passionate kisses. You pulled away, sobbing. “..I’m sorry.. I didn’t mean to hurt you… I feel terrible..” Your voice cracks, and he wipes your tears, disregarding his own. He smiled sadly. 

“..No, no… Don’t be sorry.. I’m the one that should be sorry.. I made you feel like I didn’t want you anymore.. I should’ve controlled my temper.. I’m so sorry.. Will you ever forgive me..?” He pulled you into his arms again, having you sit on his lap. You buried your face into his neck, holding onto his shirt tightly, letting a few last quiet sobs out. He rubbed your back soothingly, not caring that you got his shirt wet. “Shh… it’ll be okay..” He whispered. “..Will you ever forgive me…?” 

You nodded. “Yes.. yes, of course.. of course I forgive you. I love you.” You whispered with a smile. 

He smiled contently, resting his head on yours gently. “Thank you…” he whispered, continuing to rub your back and humming softly soon after, lulling you to sleep. 

[lonely-starlequin]

pssst saw your post about wanting to write hurt/comfort swiss and phantom and i think you should write it and post it I know everyone would eat it upppp 😌

I did it! I hope you all enjoy! Thank you for indulging me

Burden to you

word count:1615

Type:hurt/comfort

Paring:Swiss/phantom

Summary: phantom is craving attention from the others ghouls but is too scared to ask and he lets his mind spiral out of control.

Or

Phantom finally breaks and Swiss is there to catch him when he falls.

Cw: negative thoughts, breaking down.

Phantom liked attention; there was no doubt about that. But he wasn’t an attention seeker; he wouldn’t go out of his way to ask for attention or affection from others. He didn’t ever want to feel like he was bothering anyone, so he found a way around it. On stage, he could do whatever he wanted; he could touch the others, hug them, hold their hands, and be as clingy as he wanted, and it all was written off as acting and doing it to please the crowd.

On the bus, when the pack was all curled up somewhere, limbs entangled and purring like a den of lions, Phantom was curled up in his cramped little bunk. It’s not that the others didn’t invite him to join their cuddle piles; they always did. They asked every single time, and each time phantom said no. Yes, he wanted to, and he wanted to so badly, but he felt like a bother, like they were only asking out of pity. He longed to join a cuddle pile to be cradled in someone’s arms to be comfortable for someone to push all his dark thoughts from his mind.

 

Phantom struggled to stay afloat, only being touched on stage when he craved so much more. He lays in his cramped bunk, forcefully holding a pillow over his ears to filter out the thrum of purrs coming from the back. Tears prickled in the corners of his eyes as his mind started to spiral and get out of hand.

 

They don’t need you.

You’re such an attention-whore.

Crybaby

Even if you did join them, nothing would change; you’re still just a pathetic waste of a ghoul.

They hate you.

They hate you.

 

Phantom let out a choked whimper as he tried to stifle his sobs with his hand. He curled up further into himself, pulling the all-too-scratchy blanket over his head to help muddle his cries.

 

The next show was rough for the young ghoul. He stumbled around lifelessly. He felt so drained from the previous night that his eyes felt scratchy, and his bulky limbs were weighed down by the sands of exhaustion. He stumbled up to Rain and Dew, who were leaning up to each other on stage. He came up behind Rain, attempting to join them. Rain was usually very affectionate on stage and let him be more ‘clingy’ but tonight it was as if Rain hadn’t seen him at all. As they both moved away, he let out a choked whimper and shook his head, trying to shake the thoughts away.

 

Swiss watched from his platform as the younger group desperately grasped for any attention he could get. He watched him stumble through the set, even going as far as to bother Copia just to be shooed away. He watched as the phantom drifted towards his platform, stumbling backwards. As phantoms knocked against the edge of his platform, Swiss could smell the distress washing over the younger ghoul in waves; it was almost suffocating.

 

Phantom's back hit the back of Swiss’s stage, and he whimpered softly, turning his head up and looking up at the smiling ghoul above him. He felt Swiss’s hand reach over and pet his helmet as if it were his own head. It felt nice that he got that tiny sliver of comfort. He knew he couldn’t stand there for long, so he stumbled away. He messed up here and there, now trying his best to stay focused, but his thoughts started to spiral again.

He’s just pitying you.

He doesn’t care about you.

None of these fans like you.

You’re so annoying, everyone hates you.

They are all sick of you clogging up their space.

 

Phantom felt tears start to bubble up in his eyes and start to soak the balaclava. By the end of the show, Phantom was barely holding on anymore. When bows rolled around, even the pressure of hands on his couldn’t bring him back to reality and couldn’t ground his spiraling mind. Beside him were Swiss and Rain, who both gripped his hand lightly in a way that was supposed to be comforting. But phantom only felt the harsh grabs, as if they were upset with him for messing up so much. When Bows finished, he rushed off to his dressing room. He strips off his clothes, hurriedly changing into comfortable clothes. He hangs up his uniform and puts his helmet away. He was finished by the time the others started to filter into the dressing room. He was leaving his accidentally shouldered dew as he walked by.

 

The fire ghoul let out a growl, grabbing the younger boy's shirt before he could get away. “What the fuck is your problem tonight?" He snarled, causing the rest of the room of ghouls to look over in surprise. “You were fucking up notes left and right! You were sloppy, you barely interacted with anyone, and you were stumbling all over the stage like a drunker!” Dew fisted the other shirt, getting in his face. The fire ghoul was always quick to anger, but with phantoms, it was like a light fuse waiting to explode at one wrong move.

 

Tears began pooling in his eyes. "I don't... I don’t know,” he hiccuped, whimpering, tears starting to just pour from his eyes. The others got up quick to try and diffuse the situation as fast as they could, seeing that the younger had started sobbing. ”I’m sorry. I didn't. I didn’t mean to disappoint you all so much tonight,” he hiccups, and as soon as Dews hands released his shirt, he went running. He ran as fast as he could to the bus, getting on and going to his bunk.

 

Phantom slid his curtain closed, grabbed his pillow, pushing it against his face, and covered himself fully with his blanket. He tried to use the pillow to muffle the sound of his cries. But his sobs ripped through him, letting out choked gasps and wails. The pillow could only do so much. He didn’t hear the sound of his curtain opening or the feeling of someone gently touching his thigh.

 

Swiss softly began rubbing patterns along phantoms thigh, soothingly “bud? What’s going on tonight? What’s got you so worked up?” He spoke lightly, moving his hand up to his back and rubbing softly.

 

Phantom slowly turned around to face him, whimpering and looking up at him with his big purple eyes, his face puffing from his tears.

 

“Oh bug..” Swiss cooed softly and, without another thought, pulled him into his grasp, holding phantom to his chest tightly. “Talk to me, Ant. What’s going on in that head of yours?” He rocked him softly, rubbing his back as he held him.

 

“I’m just a burden! No one wants him around! All I do is bother you guys! I should just be sent back to the pit! You all hate him!" Phantom spilled his thoughts, choking in uneven sobs, into Swiss’s chest. He shook hard, feeling like everything was collapsing down on him.

 

 

Swiss’s heart shattered hearing phantom speak all these horrible thoughts he had about his place in the pack. "Buddy, no one thinks that of you. I promise, you’re a great kid. We all adore you, and we love having you around. We all love you, Phantom. I promise you have never and will never be a burden to us,” he kissed his head, holding him close, trying to not let his own tears fall, feeling horrible for how the younger was feeling. He knew it was partly their fault. “You aren’t a burden; we love you." Swiss whisperer close to his ears over and over,”Say it back to me, and I want to hear you." Swiss gently encouraged

 

"I'm not a burden, and you all love me." Phantom mumbled, sniffling, “I don't have a bug; I think you can be louder than that.” Swiss smiled softly, “I’m not a burden, and you all love me!” He repeated it with more ease. Swiss kept having him repeat that phrase, wanting to make sure it set in.

Swiss gently brushed the tears away from Phantom's face, kissing him on his cheeks and smiling lightly. “Good job, buddy. From now on, you can come to me for anything you need, okay? You can always come to me,” he said, moving out of the bunk, still holding onto the quintessential ghoul.

 

Phantom yelped, not expecting to be picked up suddenly with such ease. “What are you doing?” He whimpered, holding onto him tighter.

 

“You’re joining the pile tonight, whether you like it or not,” he smiled, ruffling his hair gently. Swiss walked to the back, where the others haphazardly pushed beds together and laid many blankets.

 

The others were already there, waiting for the Swiss to join them. Seeing phantom, their parents were excited for him to finally be joining them. Phantom was played down in the middle of the pile and instantly was surrounded by love and warmth from others. He let out tiny, tiny purrs of his own as Cumulus ran her long nails through his hair, scratching at his scalp with ease.

 

Dew looked over a bit embarrassed.I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier, Phantom; that wasn’t cool of me,” he mumbled softly, looking away.

 

Phantom looks at him, sniffling still.It's okay, I know you didn’t mean it,” he smiled softly, a smile that few returned.

 

And for now, the dark thoughts that usually spiraled in phantoms brains were all chased away. And he basked in the warmth of his pack, joining the loud rhythm of purrs that echoed in his ears.

Phantom could definitely get used to this.

[puppsworld]

Ifrit's surprised to find Alpha coming to settle beside him - though that doesn't stop him from huddling up under the bigger ghoul's shawl when he opens it in offer. They share warmth and comfort each other in peaceful silence, neither pushing for any awkward conversation. 'All will be well.'

A somber moment between packmates.

This is at the funeral for Alpha's kits that I mentioned in this post.

[sodoshame]

Doubt.

Warnings: Feelings of not being good enough, hurt/comfort.

Pairing: Phantom/Dewdrop.

Summary: Phantom keeps messing up his parts on stage. He’s afraid he’ll never be able to fill the huge shoes he’s been put in.

A/N: Apparently all I ever write is hurt/comfort fics lmao.

Feeling tears well up in his eyes, Phantom avoids Dew’s angry gaze. He messed up again, clumsy fingers fumbling over the strings, hitting the wrong notes. He was breathing shakily under his mask, staring out at the crowd. Phantom felt it as hot tears made their way down his cheeks; in that moment, he was thankful for the mask.

After the show, the ghouls all exited the stage, excitedly talking amongst themselves. Phantom was dragging his feet behind them, his cheeks felt wet from the tears. He could feel Dew’s gaze on him from across the hallway, but then he felt an arm being slung around his shoulder, and he looked up to see Swiss grinning through his mask.

“Great job, Phantom! You did so good!” Swiss smiled, looking down at the younger ghoul. Phantom mumbles a ‘Thanks, Swiss’, trying to make his voice sound even.

The others all headed to the dressing room, but Phantom just headed straight for the bus, going to his bunk. He sunk into it, pulling his mask off as he let his tears fall. Knowing that he had at least 20 minutes before the others came back, he just let it all out.

He felt awful; he was not doing Aether any justice- he was messing up every show so far. Phantom’s breathing was uneven and shaky as he cried, he was trembling, letting out little whimpers.

Upon hearing the door of the bus open, he pushed his face into his pillow, attempting to stifle his sobs. It wasn’t much use, he couldn’t stop himself. Phantom heard footsteps making their way to the bunk area and he held his breath, but accidentally lets out a small whimper.

“…Phantom? Is that you?”

It was Dew. His voice much softer than Phantom could have ever imagined; he breathed a shaky breath as a sob made it’s way out of his throat. Hearing the curtain being drawn, he didn’t move, keeping his face pressed tightly into the pillow as he tried to catch his breath.”

“Oh shit… Phantom, bug…” Dew sighed, seeing his new packmate cry made him feel a slight amount of guilt.

Phantom whimpered at the nickname as he slowly bought his head up, looking at Dew. Sighing, Dew crawled up into Phantom’s bunk, leaving a decent amount of space between them, shutting the curtain behind himself. The younger ghoul’s breathing was rapid and uneven as tears streamed down his cheeks.

“Okay, bug. I need you take a deep breath, alright? You’re freaking yourself out.” Dew said, his voice soft.

Phantom tried, but his breathing just got worse as he sobbed. Dew sighed again, gently reaching a hand out to touch his shoulder.

“Can I hug you, bug? Is that okay?” Dew asked, trying to calm him down. Once Phantom nodded, Dew pulled him closer and wrapped his arms around him. The younger ghoul pressed his face into Dew’s chest as he kept sobbing, his entire body trembling.

“Come on, Phantom. Breathe with me, okay?”

He kicked up a purr, making it so that Phantom could feel and hear his breathing rhythm. Eventually, Phantom’s breathing became more even and his crying slowed.”

“D-Dew, I’m sorry- s-sorry I’m not Aether.” He mumbled into Dew’s chest. The older ghoul tensed up at hearing Aether’s name, but then he sighed and brought his hand up to Phantom’s head as he gently ran his fingers through his hair.

“You’re your own person, bug. Stop trying to be someone else.” Dew muttered. He had said those words before, but this was the softest he had ever said it.

“I- I can’t do-” Phantom started, but Dew interrupted him as he kept stroking his hair.

“Yes, you can. I’m sorry I’ve been a dick to you, bug. That probably hasn’t helped, huh?”

The younger ghoul didn’t respond, just nuzzled further into him. Dew sighed, holding him closer as he continued to stroke his hair soothingly. He heard the bus door open as the other ghouls piled in, chatting loud amongst themselves. He heard Phantom whimper at the sound and tightened his grip on him, rubbing his back to soothe him.

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s just the other guys, alright? Keep taking deep breaths for me.” He reassured.

Phantom takes a few deep, shaky breaths as he clung onto Dew.

The curtain suddenly opened, and Swiss was standing there, a mix between a grin and a smirk on his face, just as he opened his mouth to speak, Dew glared at him, putting his finger to his lips.

“Swiss, don’t say a word.” He muttered. Swiss put his hands up in mock defence, closing the curtain again as he walked away. Dew felt it as Phantom pressed his face into his collarbone. Bringing his hand back up to his head to stoke his hair, Dew mumbled.

“It’s okay. I’ve got you, bug.”

[pandasleepy07]

ComfortSwiss!Reader

Inspired by @skele-bunny

Nightmares of your days in the pit had become regular, espically when the moon was full, and glaring down at you from your window. A multi-ghoul wasn't natural. You're not natural. Words of the pit followed you topside. Nothing, no one could shake them.

Tonight was no different. You had taken to walking in the halls at night. No destination in mind. Just walking. Restlessness followed the darkness of the night. It was too similar to the darkness of the pit. You silently cursed not having the element of fire. That could at least keep some of the darkness at bay. This time you had wandered down a different hall, not paying enough attention to your surroundings, but the scent that lingered in the hall, was strangely familiar, a mix of varying scents. The ghouls den.

You blinked at the realization and then turned to head back, before realizing you didn't know how to get back to the ghoulettes gen. The Abbey had been built like a maze. "Fucks sake," you whisper, rubbing your face. Instinct told you to go to Mountain's room, knock, and ask for help. He wouldn't mind. But you didn't want to wake him up. So instead you looked around. A warm flicker of light came out from under a door, you stepped closer, and the familiar smell of cedar embers, and leather. A scent that's so distinctly Swiss.

You don't think about it, but in the blink of an eye, you're standing in front of his door, your hand raised to knock. But what if I'm bothering him? What if he doesn't want to help? What if-

Your thoughts are interrupted by the door opening, and Swiss' cocky smirk appearing in front of you. "Well, well, well... Look who's caving into the lift of the 3-week intimate ban."

Your brow wrinkles in confusion. "Huh? No... that's- that's not it," you whisper, your voice shaky.

Confusion flashes across his face for a moment. It's rare to catch the multi ghoul off guard. He takes a moment to study you, like really study you, and notices the bags under your eyes, the way you're slumped slightly, the tired skittishness about your appearance.

"Can't sleep?" he guesses quietly, his demeanor softening.

You nod slightly, but avoid the reason why. "I just need help getting back to the ghoulette den. I- I can't sleep at night, so I walk, and I just got lost this time. I don't know how I ended up here, or how to get back. And the dark feels constricting."

"Too much like the pit."

Swiss' words are quiet, a silent understanding flickering in his eyes.

"Yeah..." you mumble, your arms coming around you as if to protect yourself in a bear hug.

"Why can't you sleep?" he asks softly.

"Memories of the pit keep coming back."

"Ah, I see... Anything specific? Or just the pit in general?"

"The pit, and the disgusted looks, the whispered words, the shunning just because I was a multi," you whisper. "A disgrace."

His eyes soften and he pulls you into a gentle hug. "I know. Some people can't handle the idea of multis. They think we're freaks. They think that we're just abominations in the flesh. I've received the looks too."

"How did you get through it?"

He sighed. "You don't want to know."

"I wouldn't be asking if I didn't want to know."

A pause, before a quiet, ashamed mumble. "Sex. S'was the only way anyone showed affection."

"Oh." What else could you say to that?

"But you didn't, did you?" he murmured. "You didn't sell your body to feel that."

"No," you breathe. "I didn't."

"Good."

"I still hate it. I hate that every time I close my eyes, all I see are the looks. That all I hear are the whispers. Even if I know I'm not alone. I hate that you went through it too."

He tightens his grip around you ever so slightly as he holds you close, his voice soft and comforting in your ear. "I know. But listen to me. It's over now, okay? You're with us now. You're with me. And I swear to you that nobody is going to hurt you or call you names. You're safe. You aren't a disgrace. You aren't a mistake. You're as beautiful as the stars, darling. They can't see that you're worth more than they are combined." He whispers the words he wishes someone had told him years ago. The words he needed to hear. Even now. "You don't deserve this. You don't deserve to be haunted by the past. Okay?"

"If I'm safe, why can't I sleep?" You whisper into his chest, as his arms tighten around you.

He lets out a soft sigh and begins gently rubbing your back with a hand, the other still holding you close to him, trying to comfort and soothe you. "Memories can haunt you. I know that all too well. But you're not going to let them win, okay? You're stronger than they are. Do you want to sleep here tonight?" His voice is soft as he gently kicks his door open a little wide, letting the light from his fireplace and the candles lit across the room, seep out into the hallway.

"I don't want to intrude," you murmur, looking down.

He tilts your head up to look at him, his eyes meeting yours. "Hey, you wouldn't be intruding, okay? I'm offering. Come on, you need to get some sleep. And I know a way I can get you to sleep if you trust me."

"How-"

He chuckled softly, a cheeky grin on his face. "Come on. You'll see. But first, you gotta trust me. I promise no funny business. I just want to help you get some sleep. Just let me change the sheets."

A small laugh falls from your lips. That's a promise you never thought you'd hear Swiss make. Espically considering all the times you've seen him bite the other ghouls, playfully of course.

"Okay," you whisper.

He smiles a soft and genuine one. One you've only seen him give Aurora when she brings him his favorite pastries. You walk in hestaintly as he moves to the bed, and strips it before quickly changing the sheets. When you offer to help, he tutts, and waves you to go and sit on one of the couches, telling you that it's not your mess. It's everyone's mess but yours. You can only sigh and comply, moving to sit on the couch. Not that the couch would be any cleaner.

He changes the sheets quickly, tossing the soiled ones down the laundry chute and putting clean ones down on the bed. He grabs fresh comforters from the closet and a few fuzzy blankets, arranging them carefully before fluffing his pillows.

"Come on. Lay down and close your eyes. I got this okay?"

You get up and carefully climb onto the bed, settling near the edge, nervously.

He chuckled a little bit and shook his head at your position, his hand going to grab your waist as he carefully pulled you closer to the middle of the bed. "You seriously want to try and fall off? Scoot closer, idiot."

You huff out a breath but allow him to move you, relaxing as his normal lighthearted demanor comes out again.

He smiles, a satisfied sigh falling from his lips as he wraps an arm around you, pulling you against his chest. This other hand went to gently brush through your hair, his voice soft and gentle. "There we go. That's better, right? Just relax and close your eyes a bit for me."

He watches as your eyes slowly flutter shut, his hand still gently brushing through your hair. Then he shifts slightly, adjusting so that he's on his back, and your head is on his chest, his heartbeat thrumming against your ear. "Good. Just like that. Now just listen. Try and match my breathing, yeah? In and out. In... out. Just focus on it."

You do, and the combination of his soft voice, his hand in your hair, andhis heartbeat in your ear, lulls you off to a peaceful slumber for the first time in weeks.

It doesn't take long for this to become a daily tradition. Swiss clears his nights for you, aranging for his fun to happen well in advance so he can change the sheets. The rest of the pack notice, but no one comments on it. Not when Swiss seems to have found a piece of himself again. No one dares to break it.

[kelthebarb]

dewdrop crying in his (and aether’s) bed after aether got sent back to the pit while listening to Francis Forever by Mitski send tweet

[rayd3nnn]

Hello! (If your ok and comfortable with this)

Could you write something angsty with like phantom and one of the ghouls of your choice doing the deed and like they are degrading him and he gets in his head and thinks it's real and is no longer enjoying himself but doesn't want to Safeword because he's scared of angering/disappointing the other? But they eventually find out? Maybe some comfort at the end? It can be any ghoul, but I would probably recommend either dew or Swiss. :)

Abso-fucking-lutely. Thank you so, so, so, so much for your ask! @madilizon

Trigger warnings: smut (not the entire fic.), angst, usage of safeword (later on), comfort, degradation, slight choking, please let me know if I missed any!

Characters: Dewdrop, Phantom, mentions of Swiss (one or two)

Pairing: Dewdrop/Phantom.

Below the cut if you will <3

Purple.

Loud moans and grunts could be heard from within Dewdrop’s bedroom. Phantom lying on his stomach, doggy style with his face shoved into the pillows as Dewdrop rails into his ass mercilessly. Tears of pleasure streamed down Phantom’s beautiful face as he gripped onto the sheets and his claws dug holes into them accidentally. “Fuck!” Phantom yelped as Dewdrop’s hand made harsh impact on his ass. “You like that? Hm?” Dewdrop asked, in a teasing voice as his hand wrapped around Phantoms neck, pulling his head upwards so his moans and cries could be heard louder.

“Yea that’s it, let them hear you. Let them hear you moan for me like the whore you are.” Dewdrop grunted as his thrusts grew more intense, his hand going to grip onto Phantom’s hair and tug on it, lifting his head even further up as he applies slight pressure to his neck, not enough to hurt him. But just enough to cause slight pressure to his throat. “Yea, take it, take it like the slut you are. Swiss was right about you and your pretty little hole.” Dew said as he landed yet another harsh slap to Phantoms ass, Phantom yelped in pleasure, he loved being degraded during intercourse. Except his loud moans and cries suddenly turned into silent grunts and small breathy moans as thoughts had started to swirl around in his mind.

“Did you hear him? They all talk about how much of a whore you are.”

“Disgusting. Letting anyone rail you like that?”

“Not even Swiss is that bad…yikes.”

“Your just a sex toy for them. A whore, slut.”

Phantoms thoughts got to him as his tears were no longer tears of pleasure, but tears of sadness and overwhelmed emotions. He wasn’t enjoying himself anymore like he was merely moments ago. His hard dick turned soft, rubbing against the mattress. He wanted to call the safeword, stop the scene and just take a breath, calm himself down and talk to Dew about toning down the degradation just a little bit. But he didn’t wanna upset Dew, didn’t wanna mess up what they had and make him hate him again. So he stayed silent, letting Dew enjoy himself. He laid there as his thoughts swirled, tears still streaming down his face before he felt Dewdrops thrusts slow down and come to a sudden and abrupt stop. He felt a rough hand softly caress the arch in his back, and a tap to his cheek. “Hey, hey bat. Are you okay?” He heard Dew ask, his ears flicking as he looked up. Phantom looked at Dew and noticed the genuine concern in his usually mad face.

“Phantom, do you need to stop? Did you forget the safeword?” Dewdrop asked, softly caressing the Quintessence Ghoul’s back.

“…purple” Phantom said softly, sniffling. Dew heard clearly and immediately pulled out of Phantom. “Bug, what happened did I hurt you?” He asked as he put his pants and boxers back on, his tail wrapping around his leg as he sat on the bed. Phantom shook his head. “N-no I just…my thoughts got to me when you were- degrading me and I just…I don’t know.” Phantom tried to explain, Dewdrop understanding. There were times even Dew felt the degradation was too much for him during sex. “Hey, no no it’s okay bug, I understand. There are times when Swiss degrades me and it gets too much.” He starts, before asking. “Do you want help putting your clothes back on bat?”. Phantom nodded his head softly before muttering a small “..please?” Dew nodded and grabbed Phantoms pants and boxers, softly putting them on him and sitting back down.

“Do you want cuddles?” He asked, looking down at the Quintessence Ghoul. Phantom could only muster up a quick nod, Dew immediately laid down and wrapped the slightly taller ghoul into his arms, radiating small heat waves as a comforting touch. “Can you promise me something bug?” He asked. Phantom let out a chirp in response. “I need you to call the safeword if anyone makes you uncomfortable or if anything gets too much during sex. No matter who it is okay?” Dew said as he played with Phantoms hair, phantoms tail wrapping around Dew’s thigh and tail. He nodded. “Okay…” he said sleepily.

“Tired Quint?” He asked. Phantom nodded in response. “It’s alright, go to sleep. We can talk about this more tomorrow, alright?” Dew said, Phantom once more, slightly nodding in response before his breathing relaxed. Indicating he’d fallen asleep. “Goodnight Bug..” Dew whispered, kissing his forehead before falling asleep himself.