horneeforfics - Tumblr blog

[horneeforfics]

So we all know that Tumblr is US-centric. But to what degree? (and can we skew the results of this poll by posting it at a time where they should be asleep?)

Reblog to increase sample size!

[horneeforfics]

HELLO YES KEEP COOKING OVIPOS NEUVILLETTE IS SUCH AN UNTAPPED POTENTIAL!!!!

- Neuvillette in heat, his draconian side finally re-emerging after thousands of years and thus starting the long month of heavy downpour in Fontaine

- Dutiful, faithful, and ever observant AFAB!reader stumbling upon him in agony and offering to help him alleviate the pain.

- Neuvillette, delirious from his heat, took it jm a literal sense of reader offering to be his mate and carry his brood. Uh oh.

- Cue the eggening and reader being bred over and over hhhhh

- The good news is, the long month of downpour had finally ended. And that the Chief Justice had announced his sudden marriage.

That's it that's my offering good bye

Absolutely this is everything I could ever need in life ty anon

[horneeforfics]

Do I want kids? No. Would I have Simon's kids? Yes <3

(slowly sets random sting ray plushie I got for my birthday down) Brain-rot. so I present Dad!Simon and Ollie at the aquarium

Simon! Who was currently two weeks deep into babysitting oliver and it being the middle of summer almost everywhere and everything had been exhausted

"Library time with Miss Rue?"

Ollie frowns from his ice cream,- which you would murder simon for if you found out which is why they were both sworn to secrecy, "MIss Rue is jus reeed-ing Peter Bunny again. No want."

"No want." Simon echoed slowly, leaning against the kitchen counter as he tried to think.

"Big mall?" "No..."

"The zipline park?" (A normal park with a little kid zipline)

"No."

"The animals?"

"Nope. Momma said we stinky after animal."

Simon nods again, the local farmer's markets would normally have a little petting zoo- so that had also become a staple. "She did- rightoo laddie. Okay...okay, let Mister Riley think for a minute."

Ollie nods to his babysitters words and takes another hefty bite of the ice cream, "We could....we could see fish? We see fish."

"Fish?"

"We go fish, in-in big pool."

Simon who spent ten finding which aquarium within a fifty mile radius had the best reviews because if he is...might as well make it memorable

Simon who made sure Ollie wore is water proof shoes because...well he just knew the kid was going to jump into the little kiddie water pad the aquarium had

Simon who packed a towel and change of clothes for that exact reason too

Simon who so has baby shark stuck in his head

Simon who once the tickets are purchased is already trying to trick the tyke down, basically playing marco polo

Simon who held up Ollie without a second thought to see the Jelly fish, telling him how he was once stung while he was down in Japan, smiling to the childs laughter

Simon who spends the extra fifteen dollars so Ollie could feed the stingrays, keeping an arm looped around him to keep him stable

Simon who of course notices the looks he's getting from the group of moms, he ignores them though

Simon who tried to politely turn down the one who came up to him, nice woman, seemed kind- yet...she wasn't...you

Simon who had to get more firm and did lie when she wouldn't get the message-

"Listen lady- I could kill ya without even blinking 'n you are really testin my patience so ho' bout you leave me 'n my son alone before i get annoyed?" Just how he assumed it would've gone down the woman became flustered and excused herself, meanwhile, Ollie was still being held in the air to look at the catfish.

Ollie looks to Simon as he then lets out a sigh and adjusts his grip on the boy, "Ister Riley?"

"Yeah, lad?"

"Mommy said killing people isn't nice."

Simon clears this throat, "Mum is real smart like that."

Simon who gets Ollie a plushie and teehsirt

Simon who feels really proud of himself when Ollie is fast asleep for the entire car ride home

(annnnyway thats it<333 any feedback and all that jazz means the world to me!!)

[horneeforfics]

Ghost who you met at a club. Maybe it's Johnny's bachelor party or something.

He hates crowded spaces and loud environments. As soon as he entered through the doors he had to fight the urge to turn back around and walk out. Already itching for a cigarette, Soap led the pack straight to the bar. Ordering a round of shots for the 4 men, John whispering in Ghosts ear about "let him have his fun" and Ghosts hissing back "i ain't baby sittin' his ass". He guesses this is better than the strip club he wanted them to go to first, thankfully Kyle said let's pre-game a little. Ghost hopes that means Johnny'll get to drunk to remember.

Not even an hour in and Soaps already crying about his bride. Ghost pats John on the back and motions for a ciggy. Leaving the two men to calm down Soap. The air in the club was stuffy, but Ghosts nose has been broken too many times to count and doesn't work properly anyways.

"shit" Ghost snaps his head in the direction of you, fumbling with your half broken cigarette, trying to get the damned lighter to work. Sighing loudly he walks over and hands you his already lit cigarette right from his mouth. You hesitantly take it, letting out a quick "thanks". Ghost already had a new one lit for himself before walking back over to his spot.

Crushing the butt under his boots before walking back inside. He finds the table empty but the glasses and jackets still there. Kyle seeks him out, say something about Johnny wanting to dance. So Ghost sits back in the chair, looking at his watch around his thick wrist. Someone plops a tall beer in front of him, looking up to catch the worker about to walk away. He calls out "didnt' order this" the worker shrugs and walks off. He eyes it suspiciously before taking a drink. "sorry, i didn't know what you liked. you seem like a beer guy." it was you again.

Standing next to him awkwardly, shifting from leg to leg. He finally gets a good look at you. Dress to short, nearly riding up your ass, thick thighs on display. Cute little heels, red toe nails. He smirks to himself, gesturing for you to take a seat. "its' all good sweetheart." you blush and tell him your name, "what's yours?" you ask back, "my what?" he teases and you laugh, the noise sending shock waves right to his cock. "your name, what's your name?" he thinks about it a little "Ghost" you raise an eyebrow at him. "Ghost? What kind of name is that?" you laugh again. "what, you don't like it" he pouts. "no, i didn't say that. it's just.... odd". Ghost barks out a laugh, he likes you.. a lot.

"what's got you out here dressed like that." he motions to your too short of dress. You blush again and fidget with the hem of your dress. "friends, girls night i guess." Ghost thinks quick. "well how bout you ditch those friends and come back to mine?" it takes you a second to think about it, slowly nodding you head. "ok". Ghost rising from his seat, pulling you with him. He tucks a hundred into John's coat pocket, not bothering to say goodbye as he drags you out of the club. Lucky for you he drove himself.

[horneeforfics]

Djfjfbgkrekekdkffkdkdnw

viking!soap claiming his pretty little bride on the feasting table at your wedding ceremony in front of the whole clan after having you sat on his lap for hours during the feast, plying you with wine and letting you feed him meat with your fingers :)

swipes everything off of the huge table and hoists you up onto the surface, hiking your skirt up around your hips and fishing his cock out from his kilt, rutting inside you as the clan cheers on their leader, the utter humiliation of being taken in front of everyone making you drop around his thick cock

grunts out about filling you up with his seed, staking his claim on your womb in that heavy brogue of his. makes sure that his new bride cums before him :) milking his cock dry as he finishes inside you with a loud roar

[horneeforfics]

It's gonna be such a funny mess when Donald Trump dies of a stroke on April 1st, 2024.

Naturally everybody will think it's fake because of the date only to lose their minds (both positively and negatively based on their opinion of trump) when realizing it's real

There will be massive celebrations in the streets and on social media and lots of predictable "don't speak ill of the dead" discourse about those celebrations

Weird evangelicals will pull some weird number trick talking about how Jesus was conceived on April 1st and that makes Trump a sort of messiah and people will make fun of that

The Republicans (after they're done with the faux-sadness and faux-outrage) will stomp over each other to be his successor but none of them will succeed. They'll tear each other apart and have no single nominee for the November elections.

There will be discourse about if Biden and the living former presidents should go to his funeral (they won't, he was a traitor insurrectionist)

The Ukraine-Russia War immediately goes in favor of Ukraine as morale in the Kremlin is reduced. China similarly backs off from its threats on Taiwan.

Ten thousand new memes are made, some sticking around for years to come.

Not a month later a bunch of unofficial biographies of Trump hit the bookshelves, many with new details about just how awful he was.

[horneeforfics]

When I was little my mom’s meatloaf was my favorite food. But ONLY her meatloaf. I didn’t like anyone else’s, and she told me that she would teach me how to make it when I was older. And when I was like 19? She finally taught me, but she told me never to tell anyone else and I was like weird but okay

Anyway, she was super fucking homophobic and abusive to me when I told her I was gay, so here’s the recipe

4-6 lbs of Hamburger/turkey burger

1 pk onion soup mix OR ranch mix

1 TBs ketchup

1 Tbs spicy brown mustard,

1 Tbs bbq sauce

1 Tbs steak sauce

1 egg

mix, shape into a loaf in a big pan, and bake at 350 for 2 hrs (maybe 2 and a half if you’re feeling dangerous)

You can get almost all of these ingredients at the dollar store, and have leftovers if it’s just you. The leftovers make great tacos if (taco seasoning is also like a dollar). Enjoy your revenge loaf

[horneeforfics]

like to charge reblog to cast

[horneeforfics]

want to cry from having good dick inside me

buy crying because of stress

[horneeforfics]

This is how I see bees

(I'm afraid of them)

[horneeforfics]

I am having a first ever dirty talk convo and my heart is beating and my pussy is throbbing oh boy someone save me

[horneeforfics]

Goddamn 👀🤌😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 I love this and need MORE

Bear!hybrid Price x reader drabble

Warnings: afab!reader, sex, mating press, kind of breeding kink? little bit of lactation kink?

Inclusivity note: Referring to reader’s pussy as “pink” meaning the inside of it, not the labia; Price is huge since he’s part bear, so anyone would look tiny next to him.

Bear!hybrid Price who fucks you good and hard in a mating press, making sure you stay in place while he pounds your tight little cunt, tears spilling out of your eyes from how good he’s filling you. His fangs bared against your neck as he growls saying how well he’s gonna fuck you, how much he loves how you take his massive thick cock in such a tiny, cute little pussy all swollen and pink for him.

His bear DNA making him so much bigger than an average human male and loves how he can so easily toss you around.

And when you finally give him some chunky little cubs, you breast feed them, their little fangs scratching you on accident making you yelp a bit. And when you finish feeding them and they go off to play Price says:

“Aww one of the little ones nicked ya? Here lemme kiss it and make it better.” He says before he licks and sucks at your nipple, secretly wanting a taste of his own.

[horneeforfics]

Moon Carver and Mountain Shaper gijinka

[horneeforfics]

G.I Incorrect Quotes#79...Tasked failed successfully

Y/n:... When I said 'Bring me back something from the beach', I was thinking more of like a seashell...

Neuvillete standing in front of them, He is currently holding a sleeping Leisurely Otter in his arms...suddenly the sunny sky becomes dark

Neuvi*Holding the otter, blank face but... internally thinking he messed up* It might have been helpful if you said that beforehand...

Y/n:..This is better then a seashell tbh-

[horneeforfics]

Simon Riley versus the teddy you sleep with

It's an old, ratty thing, something you've had for years and has always found its way into the crook of your elbow as you slept

when you first started dating Simon, you hid it away from him on the nights he stayed at yours until one day he walked into your room and saw it on the pillows

"what the fuck is that?"

"not what, who" you glared at him and he raised an eyebrow back

after then, this teddy became his enemy. sometimes he places it high up on your wardrobe when he made the bed, other times he flung it from the bed while you slept only for you to wake up like the soft thud was a blaring alarm as you half crawled from bed to find it

and when he wakes up and finds you not curled against him, his eyes opening and he turns in search of you only to find you on the other side of the bed and holding your teddy against your chest... he glares at the teddy like it's smiling back at him

[horneeforfics]

part 4. of toxic simon

a/n: got a few ideas from my requests on what to add for this part so thank you very much, ash loves you <3

cw: kidnapping, weapons, murder, angst, comfort, themes of smut

It had been a few weeks since simon had walked in on you and alex. since that night, there had been a dramatic shift in the price home. the once broody lieutenant was now just the pure embodiment of rage and misery.

he barely left the guest room for the whole of his leave. and when he did, he was causing problems. never in front of your father, however. he's not stupid. but he constantly felt the need to size up alex in front of you. looming over him with that fucking mask on, flexing his muscles.

alex never indulges in simon's desperate attempts to pull a viscous reaction from him. to make you see that your new man isn't that much nicer than him, darl'. so you might as well come back to what you know.

no, instead alex leads you out of the room. not without a soft mumble of 'let's go sugar. you don't need to be hearing this.' simon wonders if you've told alex about him. about how he smashed your heart into a million little pieces.

he's gotten low a couple of nights. resorting to snapping mirror picks in his tight black briefs after his shower. you there were no identifiers that it was ghost. no, only you knew it was simon.

he's a bastard. he knows he wont get a response from you. he will, however, get to listen to the hushed bickering coming from you and alex that night when he sees the photo.

alex got called away on duty after a big fight between the two of you. It was clear that you hadn't made up by the time he left, either. simon can tell by the way you moped around. barely speaking to anyone in the home. simon tried to speak to you, hoping to score back some points whilst things were rocky between you and your man. you just brushed him off, sulking back off to your room.

later that night when simon was laying in bed, his phone buzzed with a text from you.

'simon' was all it read

simon rolled his eyes, feeling like a kicked puppy after you ignored him, he decided to ignore your message. puts his phone down and rolls over to go to sleep, ignoring the constant buzzing of his phone from behind him.

simon was sure he got a few good hours of sleep before being violently woken up to a strong hand shaking his shoulder.

"simon. simon, get up." he recognises your father's panicked voice calling out to him. he's groggy for a few moments before your father says two words that hit him like a bucket of ice water,

"she's gone."

simon feels and ice cold chill run down his spine at your father's words.

"my daughter she's fucking gone. someone took my fucking daughter."

simon had to stop price from tearing the whole house up, grabbing his shoulders and promising him that they will find you.

simon and price are on base the very next morning. along with alex, gaz, and soap. everyone is deadly silent, standing tall and ready as their captain briefs them on how they're going to get you back. Alex has a tick in his jaw and simon is sure he's going to snap if anything goes wrong

10 minutes before they ship out and simon is having a cigarette, trying to ease his nerves. he hadn't even checked his phone yet and it only just clicked in his brain that you text him last night. those messages were still unopened on his phone. with a weight on his chest, simon unlocks his phone and feels his heart sink when he sees those texts,

'simon? is that you?'

'simon seriously I can hear noises downstairs'

'are you outside my door?'

'simon, please. i'm scared.'

you were calling him for help.

simon has been fighting down bile for the past 45 minutes. the helicopter ride certainly not helping ease the horrendous amount amount of guilt he's feeling. neither is watching alex bounce his leg nervously, or price chain smoke cigar after cigar.

it's a long trek from the drop-point to the abandoned warehouse where they suspect you're being kept. simon trudging through the mud behind everyone else, praying that no one says a word to him.

"if my intel is good, she's in that building there." alex says, pointing down to the building.

"this is a weapons free op, boys. shoot to kill. do what you need to do to get my girl back home safe." price commands out in his gruff voice, but you can hear a slight edge to his tone. a streak of nervousness that simon has never seen in his captain.

It's a clean sweep once they breach the entrance, bodies dropping in quick succession. room after room being swept and an anxious feeling hanging on everyone's shoulders each time they don't find you.

simon makes his way to the basement floor, taking out the hitmen guarding the heavy metal doors at the end of the dark hallway. he pushes the door open slowly, gun raised and ready to take out an immediate threats.

there were no threats in the room, simon quickly realised, just you. poor, terrified you huddled up in the corner with chains attached to your wrists and ankles. shaking violently like a feral cat. the fear in your eyes causes simon to immediately lower his gun and raise his hands in a 'I-mean-no-harm' way.

he takes a couple hesitant steps towards you, careful not to frighten you even more.

"hey..." he whispers, "it's just-"

"she's here!"

simon was cut off by the sound of alex alerting everyone to your safety. he immediately rushes past simon, knealing in front of you. the second you recognise him, you're reaching for him as sobs start to make their way from your throat.

"It's alright, baby. I'm here, I got you. You're safe now." alex coos to you as he scoops you into his arms, leaving simon to stand behind him like a ghost.

the sight of you reaching for alex instead of him makes simon feel as through someone is prying his rib cage open with a crowbar. he felt truly left in the dust. but he can't blame you, no. this was his fault.

he lost.

[horneeforfics]

choosing between two dragons (zhongli × reader × neuvillette)

warnings: double penetration, possessive zhongli & neuvillette, marking (geo and hydro symbols), biting, fem reader, bickering (i tried my best), pet names (jewel, dearest)

unedited.

you're in fontaine just for a while because of your line of work, fashion, and you went there to check out some fabrics.

you've been hearing about the magician lyney so you decided to check out his show after your work. you weren't expecting to catch the attention of monsieur neuvillette, who has been eyeing you for quite some time.

you became acquainted with him and invited you to his office for some tea and to talk. what you weren't expecting is zhongli bursting through the doors of neuvillette's office, looking feral and his eyes glowing.

"zhongli!" you sat up in surprise. "what are you doing here?"

neuvillette signaled the melusine to leave and closed the doors.

"forgive me, my jewel, but i sensed another dragon on you so i rushed here in fontaine." your lover explains in a haste.

"another…dragon?" you trailed off, glancing towards neuvillette. you are well aware about zhongli's true identity as the geo archon.

"rex lapis," neuvillette stood up and greeted zhongli. "or should i say, zhongli? it's a pleasure to have you here in fontaine. to what do i owe the pleasure?"

you can see that zhongli is a bit uncomfortable and you're in an awkward situation.

"let's leave, jewel." zhongli grabs your hand and begins to drag you away but neuvillette caught your other hand to stop you.

"what's the rush, mr. zhongli? we have all the time in the world."

"i believe we should be leaving."

you glanced at them both and said, "come on guys. let's not fight over me this way. calm yourselves!"

that caught their attention and seemed to think of the same idea. "oh? and what way do you suggest, ms. y/n?" neuvillette asks.

you blushed and became embarrassed.

"shall we give that idea of yours a try?"

——

who would've guessed that you'll end up being sandwiched by two incredibly possessive dragons who are taking turns fucking your drooling cunt and won't stop bickering while at it.

"i can sense your cock softening, neuvillette. is it because you spend too much of your time underwater?" zhongli spat while he was busy thrusting his cock inside you and pinching your nipples.

"maybe it's you who's softening, zhongli. you couldn't even protect the god of dust." neuvillette answered back.

zhongli growled and rammed his cock fast and hard. neuvillette chuckled and maintained his position above you and equaled his speed with zhongli's.

you couldn't even comprehend their bickering while they're fucking you because all you can think of is their thick cocks fucking you full, fast, and hard just to prove a point to you.

"who will you choose, jewel? me or that otter?" zhongli whispered in your ear before proceeding to bite your neck.

"who are you calling otter, zhongli? when you're a lizard yourself." neuvillette pants from above you.

you couldn't even choose. both are fucking you good and you want them both. not just sexual but also in your relationship.

"i…i can't choose," you managed to speak. you couldn't even get some words out of your mouth because your brain is turned into mush and you can only think of their cocks.

"hm? is that so?" neuvillette hummed. "then i won't let you choose, dearest. you'll be ours, for eternity."

there were geo and hydro symbols glowing at your stomach, as the mark of two dragons claiming all of you, every inch of your skin and you as a whole. they're yours and you are theirs and no one else's.

——

you woke up to two people bickering still, arguing about who gets to take care of you after a long and exhausting night.

"oh! you're awake!" neuvillette exclaims and placed a kiss on your forehead. "how are you feeling?"

"tired and sore," you said in a raspy voice because of all the screaming last night.

"i figured. zhongli here doesn't want me to take care of you."

"that's because im not letting a sea otter touch her."

"says the lizard whose feet touched archons know what."

"are we seriously doing this again?" you deadpanned, glaring at the two dragons.

"who do you choose?"

you rolled your eyes. how could you possibly choose between two majestic dragons?

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