imheretoreadafic

[imheretoreadafic]

Reminds of a scene in a fic i was writing where Alfred starts using a bunch of fancy medical terms and the homeless kid he's treating just deadpans and says "Dude, I have NO idea what you're talking about." And Alfred pauses before sighing heavily and going "Of course you dont. Apologies, this family has completely ruined my perception of commin knowledge."

Ok ik this probably isn't real but what if Alfred thought it would be fine if he just gave Tim the suit and told him "go, be free, don't die or you're fired" bc he forgot kids don't usually fight martial arts or given Bat Training™ from a young age. Imagine:

Alfred: Go be the light in these dark times, son.

Tim: thank you. I will.

*15 minutes later*

Bruce, kicking down the door, holding Tim by the cape and dangling him like a scuffed cat: ALFRED WHAT THE HELL!

Alfred: Sir! That was mahogan-

Bruce: You can't just let him go out there! He didn't even know how to punch correctly!!!

Alfred: Whatever do you mean, he should have learned that by now.

Bruce:

Alfred:

Bruce: ... W h a t

Alfred: Young Mr. Drake should have learned by now several martial arts. I mean when you were 11, you-

Bruce, absolutely tired: Alfred.

Alfred: -And by 16 he'll be ready for aerial combat. When I enlisted, lying about my age, I took to the planes rather fast-

Bruce: ALFRED.

Alfred: Don't shout at me, Master Bruce, it's unbecoming. What is it?

Bruce, holding up Tim higher to be in Alfred's line of sight and gesturing vaguely at the small child: HE DOESN'T KNOW COMBAT. HE'S NORMAL.

Alfred: Normal? What do yo- oooooohhhhhhhhhhh

Bruce: YEAH. 'OH' IS RIGHT!!!

Alfred: ... What did I just say about shouting? It's unseemly, Master Bruce.

[imheretoreadafic]

Bart: "So, I know we've been calling you my twin brother and stuff because you're made of my DNA but, like, doesn't that actually make you my... son...?"

Thad:

Thad: "I'd like to start with this: If you ever call me your son again I will not hesitate, I will not second guess myself and I certainly will not be swayed - I WILL kill you this time, Bart Allen."

Thad: "But, more importantly, if I was your son, that would make me the product of incest and I refuse that concept with all of my scientifically improbable being."

[imheretoreadafic]

I'm desperately grasping at Thad, Klarion, and J'onn, screaming as they slip through my fingers like sand "JUST HOLD ON A LITTLE LONGER, GUYS, SURELY SOMEONE WILL REMEMBER YOU!!" Then I get hit in the face with a brick. The brick has a note on it that says "They got their own thing but it's mischaracterized"

I promptly burst into uncontrollable sobbing.

Worst part of being a DC fan is when you fixate on some niche ass character that even the writers forgot about

like, Thaddeus Thawne gtfo out of my head istg

[imheretoreadafic]

Sleepy boys

⬆️ Helen came and tucked them in (goodnight kisses included) 🤭

[imheretoreadafic]

I'm assuming they live in an area where starlings are invasive, or they just have particularly dastardly starlings. As much as I love them (and frankly don't think there's much to do about them being in NYS because some freak in the 1800s decided to release a hundred of them in Central Park and they don't seem like they're leaving) starlings can be extremely territorial. They're also cavity nesters and only need a minimum of 1 ½ of an entrance to nest! Which means that pipes, gutters, and any small holes in your house are the perfect spot for them!

why do some birders hate squirrels so much to the point that they actually have beef with these rodents. they are simply creatures also

[imheretoreadafic]

hey sexy. I can tell by the frequency of your blog updates that you are once again avoiding it all

[imheretoreadafic]

Scooping up characters made in labs: "You, and you, and you. Oh! Can't forget this special baby! He was made in a lab AND abused! :D"

[imheretoreadafic]

Give me more dumb superheroes getting by with dumb luck, grit, and bodies that luckily bounce.

Take Bart for example. When he's given two rooms and told one of them contains certain death he picks on at random and hopes it's the right one. If it isnt, he comes back 10 minutes later, hair still on fire and goes through the other door.

No plan. No thoughts. Just pure fucking "eh, I'll figure it out when I'm there" energy. It's perfect.

[imheretoreadafic]

I might be fucking up but my fuck ups are all MINE! Not stolen!!

kill the imposter syndrome in your head because not only is there someone out there doing it worse than you, they’re also using chat gpt to do it

[imheretoreadafic]

Completely forgot about this, lmao

@frogs-like-bread

Thanks for the inspo, I had a lot of fun drawing this. He's as snug as a bean in a burrito!

[imheretoreadafic]

*aggressively squishes him*

Another sketch from @imheretoreadafic 's photodump. Thank you, I loved the goofy goober pictures!

Reference:

[imheretoreadafic]

no, it's not because he's neurodivergent that i can't take him seriously. i'm not infantilizing at all, please don't misunderstand. it's just really hard to take him seriously when his name is bart.

[imheretoreadafic]

In the Impulse 1995 run, Bart (in a special comic) time travels to the wild west with Max.

I just felt like this was important to share

Core four cowboy au!

[imheretoreadafic]

Comic panel(s) of the goofy boy that I like

(Also my pfp)

Also can you send in some comic panels or prompts for Bart? I wrote down my ideas and I still have like 10 days empty. Thank you for your help ✌️

[imheretoreadafic]

Damian: *Walks into the room carrying a collar, pet brush, and raccoon food*

Jason: "..."

Tim: *frantically making a "no" motion*

Damian: "This... is for another raccoon." *leaves*

Jason: Why is there a raccoon in the Batmobile?

Tim: His name is Steven and he's helping me commit tax fraud.

Jason: …I leave you alone for two hours.

Tim: Steven needed a getaway driver.

[imheretoreadafic]

Have a jaybin in honor of my winter break starting today!! :D

I'm very proud of this one :))

[imheretoreadafic]

I spent a solid minute trying to figure out what Tim Drake did to this person

Spite can be a incredible motivator