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Yes, I’d like to make a long distance call. First name Donaar, last name Blit’zen. No this isn’t a prank call!

Donaar Blit’zen

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I’m fine at parties. I just stand in the middle of the room and don’t say anything.

Walnut Dankgrass

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You give me a gift? BAM! Thank you note. You invite me somewhere? POW! RSVP. You do me a favor? WHAM! Favor returned. Do not test my politeness.

Evelyn

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Evelyn: I don’t always make great decisions under pressure.

*flashback to three weeks ago*

Walnut: What the hell is that?

Evelyn: An alpaca! I got the last one!

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Evelyn: See that ball of fire in the sky? That’s the sun. Lathander’s lantern, day moon, old blazy. The important thing is, never to touch it.

K’thriss: I know what the sun is.

Evelyn: Yes, now you do.

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Donaar: Why don't we stop being the C-Team?

Walnut: We are not the C-Team, fool, we are the third A-Team.

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Walnut: Donaar, you think every round fruit is an apple.

Donaar: No, I don’t.

Walnut, holding up cherries: What are these?

Donaar: Tiny apples.

Walnut, pointing to a pumpkin: And what are those?

Donaar: Halloween apples.

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Remember, ladies, before you say or do anything, to ask yourself: ‘Is this the sort of thing that would get me diagnosed with female hysteria and locked in the attic by my relatives in the 19th and early 20th century?’ And if the answer is yes, proceed.

Rosie Beestinger

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Walnut: Woah, Brahma is so pretty.

K’thriss: Don't be jealous, Walnut. You're pretty too.

Walnut: I'm not jealous, K'thriss, I'm gay.

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Donaar: You never read the paper?

Walnut: No.

Donaar: Not even comics? Like Peanuts. You never read Peanuts?

Walnut: Nope.

Donaar: Are you serious? You’ve never read Peanuts?

Walnut: Uh-uh.

[cut to Donaar holding a football]

Donaar: Go ahead. I promise I'll hold it.

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I’m an adult and I can make my own bad decisions!

Donaar Blit’zen

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(in the Underdark)

K’thriss: Ich heisse K’thriss.

Walnut: Is that all you know how to say?

Walnut: 4 years of Undercommon, you can only say “my name is K’thriss”?

Walnut: Can you ask her how long she’s worked here in Undercommon?

K’thriss: Uh… no.

Walnut: Why even bring up you know Undercommon if you don’t know Undercommon?

K’thriss: Oh, here, here. “Senf.”

Walnut: What does that mean??

K’thriss: Mustard.

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Rosie: *Doing a crossword puzzle* I need a four letter word for ‘someone who changed your life positively.’

Cher: How about my name?

Rosie: …it fits!

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Walnut: Can you do me a weird favor without asking any questions?

K’thriss: Isn't that the bedrock upon which our friendship was founded?

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Fill your heart with bees. That way if someone breaks your heart, they have to deal with the bees.

Rosie Beestinger

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Rosie: Donaar’s late.

K’thriss: How did this happen? I had Oak call him at 8 o'clock this morning and pretend it was 11.

Walnut: I wrote up that fake schedule for him saying we were starting at 9 instead of noon.

Propha: I set all his watches and clocks to say PM when it's really AM.

Rosie: Oh, boy. We may have overdone it.

Donaar: WHAT THE HELL TIME IS IT?!