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Bard: i think i’m going to become an unreliable narrator. if you see me obscuring the full truth or saying things that directly contradict each other, don’t worry about it.

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Warlock: whatever souls are made of, yours and mine are the same (insult)

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Monk: Have either of you heard of the trolley problem? Rogue: No. Monk: So you're driving a runaway trolley. Fighter: Why am I driving a trolley? Rogue: The better question is, how much am I getting paid for it? Monk: That doesn’t matter. Let’s move on. There are two tracks you can go on. One has one worker on it and the other has four workers on it. The trolley will run over and kill whoever is on the track it's running on. Which track do you go on? Rogue: Who has the better lawyers? Fighter: The better question is, how good are our lawyers? Rogue: Can we even pay for lawyers? We still don’t know how much we’re getting paid! Monk: You know what, forget it.

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Warlock: my vibes arent off i am cursed theres a difference

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Druid: funny they call it the early bird special. when all birds are special even if they are late

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Warlock: I'm going to Badwill. The evil thrift store.

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Wizard: No one wants to hear my opinion. Which is why I am not EXPRESSING AN OPINION, I am STATING A FACT.

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Ranger: So my partner- Bard: You have a partner? Ranger: I do, the whole time you’ve known me. Bard: Oh. I always thought you were feral. Ranger: Er, do you mean ‘single’? Bard: Whatever the word is that you use for stray cats.

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Fighter: Why do wizards and mages and shit always have to use a fucking stick or staff to do magic. what's so special about a gotdamn tree bone Wizard: There's a huge occult explanation for that but long story short: if you miscast do you want a stick to explode or your hand? Warlock: Also good for hitting people Bard: Twirly. Dramatic flair Druid: Tastes good

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Rogue, to Bard: evil beach boys wouldn’t it be knife

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Another set of dnd doodles, once again brought to you by our friends at @incorrect-dnd-classes !

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Gunslinger: I'm going to give my inner child a gun

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Rogue: I wouldn’t trust them with my life. Fighter: You wouldn’t trust anyone with your life. Rogue: For good reason! My life is actually quite valuable I’ll have you know!

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Ranger: I like butterflies.

Rogue: They aren’t like, badass though

Ranger: Butterflies scavenge corpses. Which is what they will be able to do once I am through with you.

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Bard: I hope you get your character development arc soon

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Monk, to Warlock: Healing comes in many forms. Monk: But whatever the weird shit you’re doing is, it's not one of them.

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Bard: "oh no we’re all doomed by the narrative"

Bard: Maybe you are. I’m the narrative’s favorite.

Bard: Update: Turns out this is not a good thing for me.