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Draco: I just saw Hermione crying in the library for five or six minutes and then her alarm went off and she just?? Stopped crying?? And then she went back on to work??

Hermione: It’s called time management.

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Thank you so much for 1 THOUSAND followers! I’m so grateful for your support!

Heiress 💚🖤

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Slytherin Bingo by Pottermore for your quarantine needs.

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*dinner at the Granger’s”

Mr.Granger: Draco, tell us about your family.

Draco: I have one.

Mr.Granger:

Hermione:

Ms.Granger:

Lucius:

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*discussing how to deal with a villain on the loose*

McGonagall: Do you have a plan?

Dumbledore: I don’t even have a “pla.”

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Imagine the days spent at the Hogwart’s library...

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Draco in the middle of night: Can centaurs slap their own ass to go faster?

Hermione: *getting out of bed* Alright. That’s it. I’m leaving you.

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Gryffindor: All I’m saying is Raven works really hard and nothing here is cheap.

Slytherin: Except you.

Gryffindor: Believe me. I’m not cheap.

Slytherin: Fine. Free. Whatever.

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Draco: Honey, you have never been neutral on anything in your life.

Draco: You have an opinion on pockets.

Hermione: Yes. I think they should all be bigger.

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Lucius: I don’t want my only son dating a mudblood!

Hermione: Oh yeah? Well I don’t want my only boyfriend son-ing a jerk dad!

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Tom: My wand is 8 inches long and made of steel.

Hermione: I think that wand is a knife.

Tom: What are you talking about? It’s my wand.

Hermione: What spells can you cast with it?

Tom:...stab

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Ron: *Coughs*

Hermione: Ooh, that sounds nasty.

Ron: Yeah, I feel like I’m dying.

Draco, muttering: About bloody time.

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Ravenclaw: Are you going to class today?

Slytherin: I don’t know if I’m emotionally ready.

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Slytherin Dark Academia Aesthetic.

Images do not belong to me.

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*Lucius dies and Draco inherits the Malfoy fortune*

Hermione: I bet it would make your father so happy to know that you are running the manor. I bet he is looking up and smiling.

Draco: Looking up?

Hermione: Oh yeah, he’s in hell for sure.

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I need a dark academia boyfriend...

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Slytherin: Do you want to know how I actually broke my wrist?

Gryffindor: Yes.

Slytherin: I was hula hooping. Huff and I attend a class for fitness and for fun.

Gryffindor: Oh, my god.

Slytherin: I've mastered all the moves. *Shows photos on phone* The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie-doodle.

Gryffindor: Why are you telling me this?

Slytherin: Because no one will ever believe you. *Deletes photos from phone.*

Gryffindor: You sick son of a bitch.