#incorrecthogwarts

[slyterinthings]

About their friends

Hufflepuff & Griffindor: OMG I love these idiots!

Slytherin & Ravenclaw: Ugh why do I love these idiots.

[l0verscor3]

Saw this on Instagram and it needs to be here too

[eternally-roses]

If all the houses lived in one house...

Hufflepuff: Oh hello! Welcome to our house!

Ravenclaw: I'm just going to say goodbye in advance, you'll be out of the house in five minutes.

------------

Slytherin: I swear if Gryffindor keeps finishing the coffee powder in this house I am going to lose it!!!

Gryffindor: Says the guy who spends three hours in the bathroom crying his eyes out!!!

Slytherin: I have allergies cause someone never flushes the damn toilet!!!!

Gryffindor: Take that back!

Slytherin: Make me-

...

Hufflepuff: And that's why I can never have normal friends.

[sheisaclearmess]

I will still seek for you,

in those sweet nothin’s,

in between the pages of my favourite book,

lyrics and strangers

but chiefly, in my own heart.

- sheisaclearmess

[onetiredyouth]

I'm under pressure, I'm under stress, and the only thing I'm not under is Remus which is a shame.

- Sirius Black, while doing homework

[bloodyhellel]

Slytherin : Don't you think thoses hikers are strange ?

Gryffindor : No, looking like SM addepts they are not hikers.

Slytherin : Have you ever do trekking ?

Gryffindor : Nope.

Slytherin : It consists of walking for miles at minus 15 degrees, in the mud just for the fun of it.

Gryffindor : Ok you're right.

Meanwhile

Ravenclaw : Don't you think thoses hikers are strange ?

Hufflepuff : Hikers ? Looking like circus members ?

Ravenclaw : Well walking for hours for nothing is still a clown sport.

[incorrectomionequotes]

*discussing how to deal with a villain on the loose*

McGonagall: Do you have a plan?

Dumbledore: I don’t even have a “pla.”

[ultrawoodworkingplans]

HOW TO MAKE WOODEN BIRDHOUSE🦜 WITHOUT POWER TOOLS 💪🏻💪🏻

[magical-shitposts]

Voldemort arriving at Godric’s Hollow:

Voldemort: And I brought you myrrh-

James: Thank you!

Voldemort: *unmasks* MYRRH-DER!

James: *gentle, sassy gasp*

Voldemort, NO-

[lordyouko]

Hufflepuff: I’m clean and sober two years, and I’m so grateful because living with dignity and self-respect is all I ever wanted.

Slytherin: I’m sober 26 days, I just came from picking up trash on the side of the highway and as for dignity and self respect, you don’t miss what you never had.

[slyterinthings]

Hufflepuff: * having intrusive thoughts*

Hufflepuff: Will I get to bite you after we get married?

Slytherin:

Hufflepuff: ...like affectionately?

Slytherin: *smirks* You can bite me now hun, but you'll be responsible for whatever happens after that.

Slytherin: *wink*

*Hufflepuff.exp has stopped working*

[skinningacrocodile]

Slytherin: How'd you break your hand? Gryffindor: I was fighting a death eater. Slytherin: *raises eyebrows incredulously* Gryffindor: Okay I punched a vending machine. In my defence it didn't give me my chocolate bar.

[sheisaclearmess]

Problem with him,

I can sit for hours

looking for words

To delineate him

And somehow

Still be left with a blank page.

- sheisaclearmess

[onetiredyouth]

*In the dining hall*

Sirius: *with a hand clutched to his heart* No, wait! Please! I have so much left to live for!

James: *holding a baguette as a sword* Begone, T H O T

Remus: Both of you, please shut the fuck up for once in your goddamn lives

[wynnyfryd]

remus: what?

james, yelling: HE SAID HE’S

STARVING

remus: i have decided that i am, in fact, a snack. people just aren't hungry.

sirius: [under his breath] im starving

[magical-shitposts]

You’ve heard of Drapple. Now get ready for: