interstellarflowers

[interstellarflowers]

FREE PALESTINE from a small fanfic writer and uni. activist returning to tumblr.

i just wanted to hop on to say that as someone who writes for things such as stranger things (or rather has written) that i encourage you to consume other peoples work ethically and to boycott the show or at least do what you can to not allow profit, block accounts, do not stream it via netflix or otherwise. i call out specifically stranger things just because i have written for it in the past, and some of their cast members have displayed some of the most heinous acts of racism, colorism, and colonialist support that i have seen. i will never accept this as something i can look past, and neither should you. genocide is never excusable, and apathy and support of it should never be tolerated. i am strongly anti-zionist, and if you're someone who believes in humanitarianism, or someone who identifies as a leftist, or someone who is also BIPOC or LGBTQ*, then i implore you to educate yourself further on the liberation and history of Palestine, and to get involved in whatever way you can whether this be through donating, supporting Palestinian creators, sharing content and information, protesting, or otherwise. also before someone even TRIES it with me, my family is jewish, i went to hebrew school growing up, i was adopted from the system into a judaism practicing household, and what israel is doing right now, is not jewish, even insinuating that this killing spree, hatred, genocide, and racism is jewish absolutely twists my stomach into knots. genocide is not a jewish value, the israeli government is incredibly incorrect, they have no right to do what they're doing now, they had no right to displace people, they are not indigenous to Palestine. despite common american and eurocentric historical events, no, you can't just show up somewhere decide its yours, give it a new name, and get offended when people say that its colonization and stealing. it is. you have colonized, you have stolen land, you have become the oppressor, you are the oppressor, and now youre committing a mass genocide. never again means never again. they must be held accountable, this is evil. i consistently come back and leave writing fanfic i battle a number of health issues which end up impacting my mental state and i was working on graduating university (graduated this semester btw, heading to johns hopkins now for grad school) but another reason why ive found myself less active is because of the ignorance i see on this platform sometimes. its extra difficult to want to return to a platform and community when i come back from witnessing and experiencing police brutality and force on my campus in response to our encampment, witnessing my friends, peers, and professors be arrested and physically harmed, be verbally assaulted, assaulted, abused by admin, etc. and then come on here and see people refusing to partake in even the bare minimum. its is crucial to the survival of the remaining Palestinian people that we give this cause our all, and fight for their lives, they have been failed and abandoned time and time again, do not turn your backs to them, do not ignore this.

the Palestinian struggle intersects with issues of race, colonialism, state violence, and human rights, in supporting Palestine it means that we are advocating for human rights overall and challenging the overarching system of oppression. recognizing the ongoing systemic oppression, genocide, and attack on Palestinian people and working towards resolution means working towards a movement of ending colonialism and other systems of oppression. as someone who is in both communities, BIPOC and Queer people are familiar with systemic racism and colonialism, the fight for Palestinian liberation against the Israeli government is also a fight against settler colonialism and racialized violence. by supporting Palestine, Queer and BIPOC individuals affirm their opposition to all forms of systemic racism and colonialism.

justice is not a zero-sum game. justice is a shared goal where freedom for one group contributes to freedom for all. in supporting Palestine we foster global solidarity, demonstrating that collective liberation is intertwined and it has been proven to be in multiple BIPOC and Queer liberation movements throughout history. find resources below, and if youre in the nyc area, feel free to reach out to me if you want to coordinate or need someone to attend protests with:

https://linktr.ee/columbiasjp

[interstellarflowers]

Hi do you write for male readers?

hey! yeah i do! :)

[interstellarflowers]

Professor Parker Ch. 1| Professor, Peter Parker x Student, Reader

a/n this fic doesn’t follow the marvel cinematic universe but assume that peter has been what he’s been through with the exception that tony lived, and bruce is still bruce, sorry but i just can't deal with endgame hulk/bruce rn emotionally or mentally. im sorry nat is still dead but dw i'll actually treat it with respect unlike endgame like goddamn where was her funeral, am i right? the stages of grief thing they did was interesting though. im sorry i digress, this is set in nyc (because heyo im a new yorka) and the avengers/stark tower is still a thing, peter is fucking traumatized and has turned kind of cold as a result. this fic may contain a smut chapter in the future? not sure yet, where this fic goes depends on the feedback, thanks for reading also sorry im not the proudest of this first chapter so ill probably edit it but promise itll only improve from here just not in the best mental state rn

University life wasn’t exactly everything that you imagined it to be. There was hardly time to do anything that people claimed was good about coming to university. The parties, the epic heartbreaks, and romances, they were just nowhere to be seen. In fact, there was nothing particularly extravagant about your experience thus far. You went to class, studied, and went to your internship. Your internship was probably the most exciting thing about your life at the moment, you were lucky to be accepted into the Stark Industries student internship, the company paid college tuition and only required around twenty hours of lab work a week, you couldn’t complain. Of course, the exciting part of the whole ordeal was the name attached to it, “Stark,” not that you had ever met him, but it was nice to have a unique feature like that in such an impressive student body.

So here you were on the first day of your third year of university. You lived off-campus, about a five-minute walk from the Stark Tower, but a twenty-minute subway ride to your campus. However, having an 882 square foot space to yourself was really nothing you could truly complain about despite the distance. The studio apartment being yet another benefit reaped from Stark Industries. Thank you Tony Stark, the unseen benevolent God in your life.

Typically you would start your mornings off quietly and in no rush, a shower, a cup of coffee, maybe some studying before heading off to your campus, but your phone had other plans for you today. Instead of your alarm going off like it was supposed to, you were woken up by the sound of a particularly loud car horn, and oh how grateful you were for that. As soon as you were jolted awake you shifted to grab your phone and turned it over to see an alarming 8:40am glaring back at you.

Holy shit. You were late.

You scrambled out of bed nearly face planting several times in your hurry to get dressed and only barely ran out the door with everything you needed at 8:47am.

By the time you managed to get to the subway and clamor onto the right train it was already 8:55am. Out of breath and panicking, you considered your options. You could explain after class, you could shoot an email, there were a plethora of things you could do but none of them seemed to justify being late as a third-year to a level 500 class. You had googled all of your professors while registering for classes as was common practice. You couldn’t find a RateMyProfessor on Professor...Parker? You were pretty sure it was Professor Parker, but you do remember seeing on the STEM department page that he was currently a Ph.D. student, so you could only hope that as a fellow student he would be at least a little understanding towards your lateness.

You stood outside of the lecture hall huffing and trying to catch your breath at 9:32am, psyching yourself up, you pushed open the door to the class and attempted to go unnoticed. The class was in a lecture hall despite being only composed of around thirty students, so if you were lucky maybe nobody would even see-

“Ms.(y/l/n), I presume?.” Shit.

“Professor Parker?” Shit.

“You are aware that class starts at 9am, and not 9:30am, would this be correct Ms.(y/l/n)?”

“Yes, Professor, it’s just that I had an emergency.” The lying route. Not exactly the highlight of your academic career.

“I regret to inform you that I only take valid excuses Ms.(y/l/n), please take a seat, and next time, don’t bother disrupting class halfway through the lesson.” Fuck. You mustered a quiet “ok,” and a small nod before escorting yourself to the back of the room, thirty-something eyes following you until you sat down.

You couldn’t focus for the rest of the class, it was just too embarrassing, time moved forward but you couldn’t help but be stuck on what had just happened. For the first ten minutes after sitting down you felt like dropping out of the whole class out of sheer fucking humiliation. This was of course before you reminded yourself that this class was a requirement to graduate in your field of study. You quietly bargained with yourself before sighing quietly and settling on the conclusion that Professor Parker was just a dick. A dick who certainly didn’t deserve the satisfaction of you switching out of his class. If he wanted to be like that, you decided, you would simply return the favor.

“I know, Ms.(y/ln), why don’t you tell us DeBroglie’s equation?”

“With pleasure, Professor Parker.” Yeah, you’d return the favor alright.

“Ms.(y/l/n), you stay.” Fuck that. You looked the other way and feigned ignorance as you kept making your way towards the door. About to leave, the door shut on your face.

“What the fuck!” You jumped before turning around and you felt your face heat up.

“Ms.(y/l/n), please refrain from using profanities in my classroom.”

“I’m sorry Professor Parker. I was just startled.”

“Mhm,” he took his glasses off and laid them on his desk, “Just don’t do it in the future Ms.(y/l/n).”

“Of course. My name is (y/n), by the way, Professor Parker, you can just call me that, actually, I prefer that people refer to me by (y/n).”

“Rest assured, I’m aware of your name, Ms.(y/l/n). My name is Peter, but you can continue to call me Professor Parker.” You could have sworn that you saw a ghost of a smirk on his lips. He knew what he was fucking doing, asshole. You held back from rolling your eyes into the back of your head.

“Of course, Professor Parker.”

“As you know, Ms.(y/l/n), I did request that you stay after class.”

“Oh? I sincerely apologize Professor Parker, I really didn’t hear you.”

“I’m sure, Ms.(y/l/n).” Fucking. Dick.

“Well, what exactly did you want Professor Parker? I do have another class soon.” Professor Parker narrowed his eyes at you in obvious distaste before reaching behind himself into a bin underneath his desk and pulling out a stack of papers,

“These are the handouts you missed from the beginning of the class. Textbook requirements, syllabus...Crucial information to have if you care to succeed in my class Ms.(y/l/n).” So coldly, so maliciously, Professor Parker placed the stack into your arms.

“I take my work very seriously, Ms.(y/l/n), I do my part as your professor so I only have the simple request that my students do the same.” You nodded feeling your face heat up again.

“Of course, Professor Parker, it won’t happen again,” you said with a tightlipped smile.

“Mhm,” Professor Parker turned around and began shuffling around some paper and without giving you a second glance said, “You are dismissed.” You nodded and hurriedly made your way out of his classroom. Of course, you had lied. You didn’t have another class until late in the afternoon. So you called your coworker instead,

“Hey, Harvey.”

“(y/n).”

“Wow, okay, don’t get too excited.”

“Sorry, just woke up.”

“Tsk, the early bird gets the worm, Harvey.”

“I don’t want a worm.”

“Fuck you. I’m headed to the lab, can I expect you?”

“Yeah, yeah.” You had been working with Harvey for around four years now, he was quite the impressive specimen, having attended MIT and graduating Summa Cum Laude at age 20 was no easy feat, he was closer to Tony Stark than you would ever get, he was quite personable, and you couldn’t deny that he was quite good looking. You’d never tell him that though, he didn’t need another ego boost. Besides, you had some connections of your own.

“Hey, (y/n).”

“Banner!”

“Can we expect Harvey today?”

“Honestly, not sure.” You both knowingly smiled at each other before you made your way over to what he was working on,

“Do you ever get bored here?”

“With you and the other idiot always running around? How could I?” You laughed,

“No, seriously, like wouldn’t you rather be doing nerd shit with Tony or something? Isn’t it a little tiresome babysitting us?”

“Tiring? Maybe sometimes, but not nearly as tiring as doing ‘nerd shit’ with Tony. He’s exhausting,” Bruce smiled at his own joke, “I don’t mind playing babysitter at all kid.” He fiddled with the handle of a mug that read, “Don’t be so Na Cl,” which you had gotten him a year back as a joke, but he still used it.

You really loved Bruce for all he was. Since losing your family back in 2012 during the battle in NYC, you didn’t really have any familial figures. But since landing this internship you found yourself with a parental figure again, and you would never be able to put into words how much it meant to you, so you didn’t. Besides, you didn’t want him to feel pressured about it, especially after everything he had been through himself. Frying half your body and losing the love of your life in such a short span of time was really nothing less than horrifying. Yet, here he was, smiling, laughing...You loved him for it.

“First day of junior year? How was that?”

“Shit.”

“Huh?” Bruce stopped tinkering with the device in his hands and looked over at you, “I’ve never heard of a course being too hard for (y/n) (y/l/n), what is it? Aerospace? Quantum?”

“No, just one giant dick.”

“Pardon-”

“My professor, he’s a fucking asshole.”

“Ah, I see. If he’s really harassing you (y/n), I don’t mean to overstep, I really think we should alert administration, what’s his name?” Bruce took a sip of his coffee.

“Professor Parker,” Bruce choked on his coffee, “Oh my God, Bruce, are you okay?”

“Yeah-” he said, still coughing, “Just a little too strong.”

“Okay, are you sure?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Bruce caught his breath, “What did he do kid?”

“He’s just a dick that’s all.”

“You sure you don’t want me to do something about it?”

“Yeah, it’s fine, I don’t know what you could do anyways. Thank you though.”

“Actually, you’d be surprised.”

Sitting at your desk stressing over school work at 3am, it was nothing out of the ordinary for you. Everything appeared ordinary. The ordinary cup of tea, the familiar glow of your computer, and a morning chill creeping through your window. It was all so breathtakingly normal until there was a rap on your window. You took an earbud out of your ear, certain you were just hearing things, you looked to your window. Holy shit.

You opened your window wide so that he could crawl in.

“(y/n)?”

“Mr.Spiderman.” Still too in shock to fully process the situation you started to take in the scene in front of you,

“Please, it’s just Spiderman.”

“Oh-Oh my God, what happened?” Head to toe the suit seemed to have blood seeping through, tears in the body of the suit revealed gashes and a bullet wound.

“Bad guys. I know this guy-said he knew a medical student close by, you are (y/n)? Right?”

“Y-Yeah, but I’m really just a student, I’m not really a prof-”

“This guy, he said you might as well be.”

“I don’t know Mr.Spiderman, really, maybe I could take you to the hospital though.”

“-Spiderman, it’s just Spiderman, listen, (y/n), you know I can’t go to a hospital, it would ruin this whole secret identity thing I got going on here, and this guy, he’s probably the smartest guy I know, so if he says you can handle it, you can.” You swallowed and nodded,

“Yeah-” you wring your hands together, “Yeah-Sorry, let me go get my first aid kit.”

[interstellarflowers]

Somewhere in 1949 || Steve Rogers x Reader

Requests are open again. Thanks for reading.

tw: sad, depression, grief, allusion to PTSD

“Hey.” 

“Hey.”

It was all so strange really, this whole scene. Steve Rogers, America’s Hero, appearing in your doorframe at ungodly hours of the night. It was utterly bizarre. 

“What’s up Cap?” 

You were met with silence, but it was the sort of silence that was mutually understood, the sort of “I don’t really want to talk about it,” or “I don’t know how to talk about it,” sort of silence; Comforting and alarming. 

This wasn’t the first time, and probably wouldn’t be the last. Steve Rogers sat at the end of your bed, respectfully, quietly, the type of courtesy that would be expected of the Captain. There were times before where you thought of inviting him to turn the other way, to lay next to you, to have a mutual sort of comfort in closer proximity, but you decided to hold your tongue for a few reasons. 

You were glad that you were able to give him a place to not be alone. You had seen a number of terrors throughout your time as a “hero”, but admittedly, not nearly as much as he had. You would steal glances every now and again at him throughout his nightly visits, afraid to make him uncomfortable if you stared too long, afraid to make him feel alone if you did nothing at all, and when you did you were only met with the type of grim look that someone who has seen the face of death can have. Someone who had seen the face of death and told them to turn away multiple times, stuck in a sort of limbo of wondering if your request would be denied the next time or the time after that. 

Steve didn’t tell you much about the war. Just the details that S.H.I.E.L.D’s records could’ve told you with the exception that he had a date. 

You understood this, to an extent, but you would never tell him. That, you too, had lost a “date.” That they were gone and you felt as if you were partially to blame, that you couldn’t get to the crumbling building in time during the battle to reobtain the tesseract from Loki’s grips. This would go unsaid. 

You knew the grief stricken look on Steve’s face because you had seen it in yourself, or at least used to, before you took down all your mirrors. You couldn’t bear to see that look anymore, but for Steve, you’d endure it. You knew his look because it was a sort of look that knew that it would be better if death kept turning away, but still couldn’t help but wish that your request would be denied the next time. 

There was one or two times he had fallen asleep at the end of your bed, his legs tangled in your sheets close to your head, his head at the end of your bed. He would breathe heavy, he would cry, sometimes he would call out. You didn’t tell him about what you heard, you were just there for him. 

Above all, you were there for him because you loved him. 

One night you were sitting awake with Steve, in that quiet at the break of dawn, and Steve broke the silence, 

“(Y/n)?”

“Mhm?”

“Do you think that everything is meant to be as it is?”

“What do you mean?”

“...Do you think that everything happens for a reason?”

You’ll regret your answer for the rest of your life. A perpetual cruel and malicious cycle of blame, because you didn’t answer. You didn’t have a response. You just looked at him with that same grief stricken facial expression, and carried on in stillness. 

If you had answered differently, would he have stayed?

You knew that there was nothing particularly official about the way that the two of you loved each other, but you could’ve sworn that something was there. He protected you on missions, he held your hand on the bad days, and sat with you in these private and intimate moments. Surely, there must have been something, or maybe it was just you. 

Now you sit alone and glance out the window at the boundless skyline of the city, unable to look at the end of your bed where you’ve allowed the dent of his body to stay. You could only hope that somewhere in 1949, Steve was finally having that date. 

Maybe it was always just you.

[interstellarflowers]

Tianna Arata is a black woman who is about to face 15 years. She currently has eight charged against her including multiple felonies, all because she organized a peaceful protest. A FUCKING PROTEST. She’s an active activist using her 1st amendment to speak on systematic racism and other important issues. Please reblog and check out the linktree below with links for the petition, go fund me for legal matters, etc https://linktr.ee/freetiana

[interstellarflowers]

Hi, sorry, I’ve been off of Tumblr, but here’s my statement

Hello! I’ve been focusing a lot on being vocal on my other platforms but realized I neglected Tumblr. I know my platform on here isn’t as big, but I’d still like to say something.  

If your neighbor's house was on fire and the firefighters were working to put out the fire you would not turn to them and say, "What about my house?" As your house is not on fire. Our nation has been on fire since its creation. Instead of serving justice, our system has been serving injustice to the black community. It's time to put out the fire of injustice.

I AM PRIVILEGED. (Don't get me wrong, xenophobia is definitely an issue), however, I am still privileged. I live in the suburbs, I live a comfortable life, I am not exposed to suffering, it is rare that the justice system would serve injustice to someone like me. One of the by standing police officers during the murder of George Floyd was an Asian american. I will not allow this. I will not stand for this. I stand with the black community, anything else is unacceptable. There is racist sentiment in the Eastern Asian community that is rarely addressed, but I want to be loud and clear that I am here for you. I will stand up for you, and I will do all that I can to help in protecting anyone else from getting hurt. This Korean stands with you!

People are dying at the hands of people who are supposed to protect them, and this is truly heartbreaking and unacceptable.

So to everyone I urge you to be loud.

I urge you to educate yourselves and others.

I urge you to be an ally.

Do what you can.

You do not have to be on the streets to make a difference at a time in which we have all of this technology.

There is no excuse for silence right now.

To the black community, I may not understand what you have been going through, but I hear you, I see you, and I stand with you.  If you can’t protest, that’s okay! There are other ways to contribute too! This is my personal linktree and in it you will find a bunch of resources on how you can help, educate, donate, etc. 

https://linktr.ee/hanaglavs

[interstellarflowers]

hey everyone, or you, maybe there’s just one of you. maybe there’s nobody listening. it’s been getting harder and harder to write. i want to write but i don’t even know what people would want. i don’t know how to continue my fanfic and i don’t know how to continue writing i want you to know because i don’t think anybodies reading it anymore. i feel stupid and petty for that but i just cant bring myself to do it. i cant bring myself to do much. im sorry. 

[interstellarflowers]

affection | billy hargrove x reader x steve harrington

                    AFFECTION | Billy x Reader x Steve

summary: High school sweethearts are only so sweet, maybe an old friend is more to your taste.

t/w abusive relationship, language

gif isn’t mine

How did you end up here? In this situation? You supposed that to figure that out you would have to go all the way back…

He was a player, known for it. When you heard the name “Billy Hargrove,” you knew it meant trouble, you knew it meant heartbreak. Every cell in your body told you to leave it alone, that if you got too close to the flame you were sure to get burnt, but you stepped right into that fire. Why? You wished that you could say that you didn’t know, that you were just completely blinded by your emotions, that you didn’t know why you couldn’t leave, that you just couldn’t, and maybe that was partially the truth, but it wasn’t the whole truth. You loved him and you knew why. Billy was harsh but Billy was honest, he was rough and he was raw, you loved that about him. Billy cared, enough, Billy could be good, when he wanted to. You loved him for his very best moments, letting them blind you from his worst. A fire is a fire. It’s painful to the touch and leaves a scar, but Billy Hargrove, Billy Hargrove was a different breed. Billy Hargrove was hot concrete. You step on it barefoot, it’s hot to the touch but if you stand there long enough you learn to ignore it, you learn to like it, it can even feel good.

You knew you were fucked the second he approached you in the school parking lot. The hair, the car, everything screamed burn. You didn’t listen, you were too blinded by the good things, by the light, to realize that it was slowly killing you. 

When it was bright, it was bright. 

“Hey baby,”

“Billy,” you giggled as he pulled out a bouquet of flowers from behind his back. Everyone told you he was dangerous, but how could this boy standing before you with flowers be dangerous? 

      Cold. Back pressed against the refrigerator, the handles jabbing into your shoulder blades, you grit your teeth and forced your gaze upwards at Billy’s words,

“Look at me.” You forced yourself to look into his eyes. 

Writers and film will tell you that when people do things like this that they’re barely recognizable, that their eyes are different, that whoever they were hurting would look at them and say something like, “This isn’t you,” or think to themselves how the person they love is bigger than this, that this just isn’t them. It wasn’t like that at all. As you stared into Billy’s eyes all you could do was think about how they weren’t different, Billy wasn’t some sort of Jekyll and Hyde, it was still Billy. They were his eyes, it was his gaze, and it was his hand around your throat. You felt tears prick your eyes, not because of the pain, not because of the way Billy was looking at you, it was because you knew that no matter how many times he pulled shit like this that you knew that you would still love him. 

              “Billy where are we going?” 

“Patience is a virtue (y/n).” You laughed, a genuine laugh, as Billy brought you up a hill. 

The walk uphill was tiring and tedious, but it was worth the journey. The top was beautiful. That was how you used to look at Billy.

It was dusk and the sky was a watercolor painting, bursting into pastels and dark blues, light and dark. There was a warm breeze that blew through your hair and messed up Billy’s mullet. He looked golden, you were golden. Everything felt perfect when Billy took your cheeks into his hands and he kissed you, he kissed you like you could trust him. You felt like you would never need anyone else ever again. 

        His palm banged into the fridge, right next to your head, his other hand still having a grasp on your throat. You couldn’t even remember what you guys were fighting about, you weren’t even sure if he remembered, yet ever upwards it continued to escalate. 

“You belong to me.” Billy looked at you with such venom and his grasp only tightened, “Understand?”

       “(y/n),” you shook your head as you shut your locker and started to walk away, “Please, just listen to me!” 

You turned around annoyed, “What Steve?” 

“Listen,” he ran his hands through his hair, a nervous tick you had come to be very familiar with through the years, “I care about you. A lot, I just, I want you to be careful please. I’m not trying to tell you what to do, I would never try to control you, but please. We know what he’s capable of. That’s all.”

You nodded slowly at him and turned on your heel walking to class. That was the start of you growing apart from Steve. Of course you two still stayed in touch every now and then, but ever since Billy, your relationship with Steve had just never been the same. You supposed that Billy could be partially to blame for that. 

          “Stay away Harrington,” Billy spat on Steve and you flinched as you forced your tears to hold their place. 

In that very moment you knew it would haunt you forever. Steve, bloodied up and bruising, Billy screaming at him, unhinged, scary. But most of all you, just standing there. A bystander to the attack on your friend. On your best friend. All because you had decided to hang out with him, and all you could do was just freeze. 

Billy had many faces, but it always came back to this. 

        You always felt horrible for him. His situation, his past, and deep down you knew that you couldn’t excuse him, his actions, because of it, but you couldn’t stop. Always justifying it for one reason or another. Six years of your life spent making excuses for him. As you looked into his eyes as he raised his hand to you you realized that this was not a person who loved you. You weren’t sure what it was but now you were certain, this was not love. 

“No.” It came down hard on your cheek, you were sure it was going to leave a bad mark, but you stood your ground. 

“Excuse me?”

“I do not belong to you Billy.” He chuckled, the same maniacal laugh that was all too familiar to you.

“Baby, don’t kid yourself, you always have.”

 You knew you had to move fast, so you kneed him. Right in his groin. Billy quickly released his grip on you and you ran. You grabbed your keys and your wallet off the table in the apartment’s entryway and you ran. 

Starting up the car, you looked back up at where your apartment was, and you realized that you weren’t leaving much behind. You weren’t leaving anything behind. That was never a home. Pulling over into a gas station you made your way to the payphone, you knew exactly who to call. 

You knocked on door 37 in the Hawkins apartment complex, it was strange to be back. You hadn’t revisited Hawkins since Billy insisted that you and him fled what he liked to call the “shit box.” 

“Steve.” 

He started to ask you what happened but you cut him off and threw yourself against his chest, embracing him,

“I missed you so much Steve.” 

Steve went to speak again but closed his mouth and wrapped his arms around you.

       Six months. It had been six months since you fled from Billy. Steve took you back about a week after fleeing to get your things while Billy was at work. The apartment was a wreck, beer bottles everywhere, dirty laundry, dishes, it would’ve broken your heart if Billy hadn’t broken it long ago. 

You were certain that you would never love again, that you could never heal, that you had become broken beyond repair, but everyday Steve proved otherwise. 

He was patient with you. He was soft and gentle with you, and he really truly cared about you.

The first time he went to hold your hand you flinched away from him. He didn’t blow up, he didn’t move to do anything, Steve just told you to-

“Take your time (y/n).” he looked at you with such patience, “I’ll be here when you’re ready.”  You placed your hand over his and your fingers laced together like puzzle pieces.

 He had been there this whole time, you couldn’t help but mentally beat yourself up about it. Of course, Steve Harrington. 

Years went by and he never asked you to move out, never asked you to leave. So you didn’t and eventually you moved from the pullout to Steve’s bed, and found that your hands weren’t the only things that fit together perfectly. 

Steve wanted to take you somewhere special, “Somewhere scenic,” he had said making you smile, “Somewhere almost as pretty as you.” 

The drive was like the one all those years ago. Except now the car was moving the speed limit and the music was turned down low so that Steve could hear every word of your conversation clearly. 

The hill was still tough to climb, but the top made everything worth it all over again. It was early, really early, the dawn of a new day, the sky was coming alive with pastels and a pale blue. A summer breeze moved through your hair and the trees and as you turned around you saw Steve on one knee.

“Yes.” 

You were home.

[interstellarflowers]

wish you were sober | billy hargrove x reader x steve harringon |

wish you were sober

billy hargrove x reader x steve harrington

summary: parties weren’t your thing, and maybe billy wasn’t either

a/n: hey everyone this is my first shot at writing a stranger things fic, and obviously my first time writing billy so i hope it’s okay! just a disclaimer, i dont condone billy’s behavior in stranger things and if you find yourself in an abusive relationship romantic or otherwise, please seek help! that being said this is inspired by conan gray’s wish you were sober i suggest listening to it while reading, also! the gif isn’t mine! im honestly not sure who made it but credit to them! 

song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHyE_erqAe0

tw: angst, language 

This party's shit, wish we could dip

Go anywhere but here

Parties were so not your scene. Alcohol wasn’t your thing, dancing anywhere outside of your room was out of the question and the music was deafeningly loud. So why were you here? Oh right, Billy fucking Hargrove. How could you even begin to describe your relationship with Billy Hargrove? The only way that you could think to describe it was the same way that you would describe Billy himself, soft in the middle, rough around the edges and full of fluctuations. One second you would feel like you were on top of the world, and the next you would feel as if you’d hit rock bottom. If you got to close you were sure to get cut but the closer you got the better it felt, the more it opened up. Sometimes you weren’t sure if you were talking about Billy or your relationship, sometimes you weren’t sure of anything. 

Tonight, everything was on a downswing. 

The day had started out fine, Billy drove you home from school and had managed to talk you into accompanying him to the party. 

“It’ll be fine (y/n)!”

“What if it’s not?”

“It will be. Now go put on something nice so we can get going.” You sighed but complied, you knew that you’d do anything for him because you had just always assumed that he’d do the same. Assumed.

Not even ten minutes were you at the party and he was already at the keg stand doing exactly what Billy does best, being a reckless little shit. Having left you for alcohol so early on you found yourself frozen, so here you were. 

“(y/n)!” Steve made a beeline for you through the crowd.

“Hey Steve.” you responded meekly,

“What’s up?”

“Oh you know, Billy.” you responded dryly, Steve’s face fell in disappointment.

Steve knew all about your dynamic relationship with Billy, the ups, the downs, but mostly the downs. Steve had been a good friend of yours since diapers so it was only natural that he would know everything about you and Billy,

“What now?” You nodded over in Billy’s direction as you and Steve watched him stumble towards you,

“Harrington.” Billy slurred shooting Steve a look that could kill.

Don't take a hit, don't kiss my lips

And please don't drink more beer

“And that’s when Steve makes an exit,” Steve says patting your back and disappearing back into the crowd,

“What did he want?”

“Nothing Billy, he’s my friend, you know that.”

“I don’t like him.”

“I know you don’t like him Billy.” 

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing Billy,” you shifted your gaze to the floor, refusing to look Billy in the eye, you didn’t feel like expressing your disappointment in him, you just wanted to make it through the night so that you could just go home,

“I know,” Billy gave you one of his classic smirks failing to notice how you looked down, “You need a drink.”

“Billy, I don’t really drink-”

“Oh? So you don’t want to drink it?” Billy moved his face closer to yours, lifting your chin up, his breath smelt of beer and something else that you were pretty sure you could place as weed.

“Billy please don’t-”

He did anyways, he tasted how he smelt, and you didn’t like it. You waited for him to pull away and watched as he turned to get more beer,

“Billy.” you said over the crowd with a soft tone,

“(y/n).” he turned around, sending shivers down your spine, and not in the way you liked,

“Please don’t drink more beer.” He only laughed and continued walking away. 

I'ma crawl outta the window now

'Cause I don't like anyone around

Kinda hope you're following me out

But this is definitely not my crowd

As the night went on it only got worse, Billy seemed to have an inhuman tolerance for alcohol as he downed one after the other. Ignoring you, leaving you to sit alone. 

You sat at the edge of the pool, your shoes off with just up to your ankles submerged in the chlorinated water. You were taken out of your thoughts when someone over by the porch screamed,

“COPS! EVERYBODY RUN!” 

You quickly stood up stumbling to put your shoes on as you rapidly searched the crowd for Billy, failing to be able to see him through the masses. You finally got your shoes back on and pushed your way through everyone still searching for Billy, you kept searching until you found yourself face to face with a certain someone everyone had been running from-

“(y/l/n)?” Hopper stared at you astonished to see Jane’s on and off babysitter at a party like this,

“Hopper?”

“What are you doing here?” Tears started to well up in your eyes as you struggled to create sentences,

“I want to go home…” you managed to squeak out. Hopper nodded silently before briefly leaving to scan the grounds, having found that everyone else had managed to escape, you followed Hopper to his car.

“Thank you.” you said quietly as you strapped yourself in,

“It’s no problem,” Hopper paused for a second testing the waters, “But I really have to ask (y/n), what in the world were you doing there?”

You shook your head at him and Hopper respected that whatever your reasons were that you didn’t want to talk about it. He decided not to press further, he knew that you were a good kid, so whatever you were doing there, he trusted you.

On the drive home the car was silent but your mind was buzzing with thoughts of Billy. You swore that you could still taste the alcohol from his lips. Every minute or so you couldn’t help but look out the rear view window, wishing that Billy was following you home to say that he was sorry or to at least say goodnight.

“Here we are,” Hopper pulled over in front of you house,

“Thank you.” you said as you got out of his car,

“(y/n)?” you turned to look at him, “Don’t let anybody make you do anything you don’t want to do, okay?” You nodded firmly and thanked him again before shutting the passenger seat of the car door and quietly letting yourself into your house. 

It was dark, good. The last thing you needed was to deal with your dad tonight, his bedroom door was shut and the lights were off in there too, which meant that you were safe. You took note that your parent’s car wasn’t in the driveway which meant that your Mom was out with one of her men on the side...again. 

You lightly padded down the hallway and let out a sigh of relief as you finally shut your bedroom door. 

“(y/n).” It was him, you turned your head to the right taking notice that your window had been left open.

“Billy.” You couldn’t lie, you were relieved to see him, but you couldn’t hide the hurt in your tone. 

Nineteen but you act twenty-five now

Knees weak, but you talk pretty proud, wow

Ripped jeans and a cup that you just downed

Take me where the music ain't too loud

Trade drinks, but you don't even know her

Save me 'till the party is over

Kiss me in the seat of your Rover

Real sweet, but I wish you were sober

“(y/n),” Billy was hammered, “I didn’t realize that you didn’t escape too, I would have driven you home. So I came here and I’ve been waiting for you.”

“Billy, did you drive here?”

“Yeah, parked down the street.”

“Billy, you’re drunk.”

“(y/n), you’re pretty.” He gave you another classic smirk that only Billy Hargrove could do and placed a kiss to your lips. Alcohol still on his breath. You frowned,

“What’s wrong (y/n)?” you sighed and started to change into your pajamas,

“It’s nothing Billy.” you saw Billy watching you take your clothes off out of the corner of your eye but you didn’t really care in this moment all you could think about was how little Billy seemed to care about you.

“It’s not nothin’, you’re pissed.” Billy put his hands on his hips and faced you as you sighed and sat down on the edge of your bed, 

“What is it (y/n)?” Billy moved in closer to you and kissed your forehead, “You’re so pretty, you know that?” He was too close right now. It was too much. You could feel the aftermath of the sound system in your eardrums and it still felt like a train was running through your body, the closer he got the stronger the stench of alcohol was, it was seriously too much, you forced your gaze away from him and your eyes fixated on a crack in your wooden floorboards,

“You’re sweet Billy, but I wish you were sober.” 

I wish you were sober

Wish you were so, wish you were so, wish you were sober

I wish you were sober

“But (y/n), it was a party.”

“I know Bily, I’m sorry, I just, I just wish you were.”

“Sober?” he rolled his eyes at you, “I wish you were drunk.”

“I don’t want to be.” you said quietly as you continued to fixate your gaze on the floorboard.

Tripped down the road, walking home

You kissed me at your door

Pulling me close, begging me to stay over

But I'm over this rollercoaster

Billy’s face faltered and he ran his hands through his hair,

“Look, (y/n), I’m sorry okay? Let’s just go back to my place, and I’ll have you back before your dad even notices you’re gone, okay? Please?” 

“Billy.”

“My dads not home, and Max is at her friend’s, it’ll just be you and me, and we can, we can just...We can just do. You know? Let’s just go (y/n), come on.”

“Billy please.”

“(y/n), let’s go. Love you, you know?.”

Billy never failed to put the “I” in the relationship never failing to completely leave behind his narcissistic ways despite this, Billy Hargrove never failed to leave the “I” out of “I love you.”

“Billy, I love you...I really love you but I’m over this rollercoaster. I’m sorry.”

“(y/n), what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I can’t do this anymore Billy.”

“Do what? (y/n), yes you can, you just said so.”

“Billy I’m sorry, but you have to leave.” 

“(y/n), you love me, you can’t-”

“Yes Billy, I love you.”

“See? So why-”

“I love you but you’re killing me.”

Billy opened his mouth to respond, but quickly closed it again, he looked at the ground, at you, and then at the ground again before making his way out of your window, leaving you to sit on the edge of your bed tears falling onto your floor. 

I'ma crawl outta the window now

Getting good at saying, "gotta bounce"

Honestly you always let me down

And I know we're not just hanging out

Billy had taught you how to do a few things without even meaning to. He taught you how to get good at hiding disappointment. He taught you to get really good at responding to “gotta bounce.” He taught you how to hold on tight on a rollercoaster. But most importantly he taught you what it was like to die without taking your final breath. 

Nineteen but you act twenty-five now

Knees weak, but you talk pretty proud, wow

Ripped jeans and a cup that you just downed

Steve Harrington. You swore he was a different breed. He was eighteen but he acted like he was twenty-five, yeah, it was obnoxious sometimes, but just by looking at him you could tell that it was warranted. He never did tell you about what had happened in the past two years, all you knew was that there were just some things that were better left unsaid, and you were okay with that, you could understand that. 

Steve Harrington was something that you could understand. 

It started slowly, Monday morning after the incident Billy pulled up to your house in the morning only to see you getting into Steve’s car, smiling lightly as Dustin pouted in the backseat.  Billy felt a pang in his chest but ignored it, figuring that all of this would blow over in a week, you loved him after all, and he did love you.

Steve Harrington drove you to school for the rest of that week, and the weeks following, weeks turned into months, and it was March. Three months since the incident and Billy never failed to loop around your block, just in case. Still in denial. 

On the other hand, you had never felt better in your entire life. Steve was a breath of fresh air after breathing in smoke for so long. He had a special mixtape to sing along to on your morning commutes together, he would bring you coffee some mornings, and every day he would greet you with a bright smile and a, 

“Good morning love.” There it was. You smiled at Steve, getting into his passenger seat. Billy had seen you smile before, but never like this, you smiled with your eyes.

“Gross” whined Dustin, “Get a room, and drive me to school already.” Steve chuckled and rolled his eyes,

“Aye aye captain.”

“Another party?”

“Yeah, I know you don’t like them,” you sat on Steve’s bed staring at the ceiling, “But I promised that I’d go and I don’t want to leave my best girl alone on a Friday night.”

“Not your girl Steve,” you giggle and Steve smiles and rolls his eyes making his way over to look you in the eyes,

“And I promise that I will not leave your side.” 

Take me where the music ain't too loud

Trade drinks, but you don't even know her

Save me 'till the party is over

Kiss me in the seat of your Rover

Real sweet, but I wish you were sober

He didn’t. Steve Harrington didn’t leave your side the whole night. Regardless, you let him do his thing, zoning out and following him around like a lost puppy dog. Billy watched from a corner of the party, you and Steve seemed to be getting on nicely. Billy wished that he could say that he was happy that you were happy, he had always wished he could be someone like that, but he couldn’t. He downed his eighth drink of the night as he followed you with his eyes and all he could feel was hurt. 

“(y/n)?” Steve had pulled you into a quieter part of the house,

“Steve.” you smiled up at him, wondering why the sudden shift in attitude,

“(y/n),” Steve took a deep breath looking you in the eye, “I need to tell you something. It’s really important and I’ve been meaning to say it for a while so, here it goes...I love you.” 

Your chest squeezed before you masked your feelings, giggling and rolling your eyes at him,

“You’re drunk Steve.”

“Completely sober actually.” You met Steve’s eyes again,

“Are you for real?”

“Completely and one hundred percent real.”

“Well Steve, I love you too.” Steve smiled at you before leaning down to kiss you. His lips were soft and they tasted like cherry chapstick and rain. 

Sober.

a/n i hope you liked it! thank you for reading! please reblog and like if you enjoyed! should i make a part two?

[interstellarflowers]

Just wanted to thank everyone for their constant support, y’all are seriously the best. 

Statement

Hello everyone. Thank you for supporting me and my fics even while I was gone. I’m going to share something personal. I’ve been partially hospitalized for eating disorders and Tumblr was one of my biggest problem areas. I’ve officially been discharged and I’m not in out-patient but it was a tough thing. I had to leave Tumblr honestly because of how large the pro eating disorder community is. It was a trap that I constantly fell into. I think I’m ready to come back though. I just wanted to apologize and thank you for waiting for me. Now I ask, what series should I continue and what type of fics would you guys want? I am officially open for requests!

[interstellarflowers]

thor x reader | chocolate hearts | series

chapter one: friends

a/n hey! gif isn’t mine, although im not sure who made it so all credit to them! this series is loosely based off of CVS by Winnetka Bowling League so go ahead and listen to that while reading if you like, also would you guys like a full playlist for this series? let me know! 

t/w contains smut, angst, and probably more cant lie to you i hate that i wrote this because im really bad with this stuff and aaaahhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHH im sorry gina i felt like i had to add the sexual theme to convey the story

18+ !

   Your bodies moved against one another, mouths moving in harmony and legs meshing together. A symphony of noises released from both of your opened mouths as you intertwined, bodies colliding. 

   “Yeah,” he grunted against your neck

   You gasped as you let go with him and he bit down on your shoulder, you raked your nails down Thor’s back and he let out a low moan in response.

   You both laid next to each other on the bed, sprawled out, exhausted, but untouching. This was always how it went. Thor chuckled deep and smooth,

   “Well, this has been nice.” Thor got up from the bed and started to put his pants on.

   Yup, this was always how it went.

   “Off to somewhere?”

   “Well we don’t want the others to be suspicious, do we?”

   “I guess not.” 

   They knew. Maybe it was the screaming of each other’s names, or the sound of the bed rocking at unholy hours of the morning, it’s really a mystery how anybody was able to figure it out. You and Thor were however completely oblivious to this. 

   So Thor finished getting dressed and left your room. You clicked the power button on your phone to be met with a glaring 3:54am. You closed your eyes and tried to drift off but you were only met with lingering thoughts racing through your head. The absence of any real conversation was killing you, it had been for months. There was never even pillow talk. You and Thor just did what you did and that was that, but sometimes you longed for more. Not even an “I love you,” or a relationship, you couldn’t expect that from him, you wouldn’t allow yourself to, no, you just wanted the friend in the friends with benefits. The benefits were certainly benefits but what were they without the friend?

   It was a restless night. 

   You wished that you could say that the next morning was a little less uneasy but it wasn’t. The kitchen was tense. Wandering eyes reminded you of wandering hands, and prolonged looks reminded you of how he stared so intently into your eyes the night before. 

   How could the connection dissipate so quickly?

   The relationship had started off a lot more innocently, light flirting, stolen glances, teasing, you constantly asked yourself what happened?

   Your feelings for Thor had never been too obvious, or at least you liked to tell yourself that, and you honestly never thought anything would ever come from it, but there you were one night at one of Tony’s parties, the night where everything changed. You had had more than few drinks disregarding the fact that you were a lightweight, you absent-mindedly fiddled with the strap of your dress oblivious to Thor’s wandering eyes when the strap slipped down your shoulder. There was vodka on his breath and wine on yours, and that was when this whole mess began. You recalled how rough he had been with you, yet how gentle he had spoken and how he made you call out his name when he thrust into all the right places, but most of all you remembered how you woke up to an empty bed the next morning. The conversation the next morning is all blurry to you now as it was a little over half a year ago and you were extremely hungover but you could remember one sentence clear as day,

   “People like us just aren’t meant for things like that, we’re still friends (y/n), you feel the same, right?” 

   You didn’t exactly agree with it but you did go along with it because you decided that you would take what you could get but you didn’t think it would go on for this long. Sometimes you would fantasize that this charade would finally end, that Thor would stay the night, that he would tell you that he loved you and that every time he touched you, every time he took a piece of you, it was because he loved you. Other times you fantasized about punching him, but you knew you couldn’t. It wasn’t really his fault. You could leave this if you wanted to, but that’s part of why you were always so frustrated because you knew that no matter what Thor did, or rather didn’t do, you would stay no matter what, and that terrified you.

   “(y/n),” Thor nodded towards you, “Good morning, how’d you sleep?”

   “Yeah, (y/n), how did you sleep?” Tony raised his mug towards you with a sly smirk, you shot him a look of confusion to which he shrugged and went back to his phone,

   “Fine,” you responded refusing to make eye contact, “How did you sleep?”

   “Like a midgardian baby.” he chuckled that same chuckle he gave you last night and went back to pouring his coffee. 

   You felt naked. Exposed, even more exposed than you were when you were fucking Thor. No, this was a thousand times more exposing, you were naked, peeled, your heart was bared to Thor, it was helpless, you had fallen and Thor refused to catch you so instead you fell. You plummeted about a thousand stories to the ground below. 

   Thor’s eyes grazed your body and you were getting stripped and pushed all over again. 

   “(y/n), you okay?” you forced your gaze up to meet Steve’s eyes,

   “So chivalrous,” you forced a laugh, “I’m fine Steve.”

   Steve’s face flushed at the comment and he looked to the ground, sure, he was a big hero now, but deep down he would always be the same sweet, caring and considerate Steve Rogers. Steve looked back up and you glanced over at him again, you could tell that he didn’t believe you, but you knew he would never press further if you didn’t want to talk about it, and you didn’t.

   “(y/n)?” Thor broke you out of your trance and nudged towards the coffee pot that he had just finished with,

   “No, I’m good.” 

   “Are you sure (y/n)? You may want it especially after last night.” 

   You sighed and walked away and you couldn’t help but ask yourself: “What the fuck.”

a/n i hope you liked this! it’s only chapter one, so let me know if i should continue or if you want to be added to the tag list! thank you so much again also this is my first time trying my hand at anything smut-esque so i hope i did okay

[interstellarflowers]

Hey! Would it be possible to do a Peter Parker x plus size reader?? If so could it really fluffy. Maybe Peter sees reader around reading a book so to impress her he reads the same book. And he plucks up the courage to talk to the reader about the book. Just what ever comes up in your mind! If you're not comfortable writing a plus size reader that's totally fine!

hey! sorry i hope that this is okay! thank you so much for requesting! :)))

https://interstellarflowers.tumblr.com/post/614980975908290560/book-girl-peter-parker-x-reader

[interstellarflowers]

book girl | peter parker x reader

a/n hey everyone this was a request from @morganofthecoves1​ , feel free to request too! i hope that i did a good job with this! also i live in new york and the cafe that i named in it is a real place so if you’re ever in new york try to make a stop there i promise that you won’t regret it!! gif is not mine, so credit to the creator (and obviously i don’t have ownership of the film or the character etc.)

     Peter Parker had faced many trials and tribulations throughout his life. Faced things that other teenagers couldn’t even imagine facing, yes, having the fate of the entire world in your hands was a daunting task, but this, this was just plain terrifying. 

   Her.

   Everyday she sat on the same bench in the courtyard. Sometimes she sat there with a friend, other times she just sat there reading. Peter was quite smitten with her. 

   Peter had only spoken to her on three occasions. One of these occasions happened to be yesterday, he had picked up her book when it fell off her lap. Ideally this would’ve been the perfect moment to start a conversation but Peter couldn’t just do that it just seemed like...too much. 

  Indeed, Peter had saved the world on several occasions but this was his most difficult mission yet...Operation: Girl. 

   “Why don’t you just talk to her?” 

   “It’s not that easy Ned!” 

   “Sure it is, just go up to her and talk.”

   “Talk about what?”

   “School? Her day? It’s really not that hard Peter, this is a pretty textbook situ-”

   “Ned! You genius, that’s it!” 

    “What’s it?”

   “The book. She’s always reading a book! I’ll just read whatever she’s reading and then, I’ll talk to her about it-Ned, it’ll be perfect.”

   “Peter it’s really not that deep-”

   “I’ll be back Ned, I’m heading to the library.” 

   Later that night Peter sat down at his desk and opened the book to the first page, then went on to the second, and the next thing he knew it was time to go to school and he had finished the book. 

   “Peter? Were you up all night?” Aunt May shook her head as Peter was making his way out the door,

   “Yes, but trust me, it was for a good cause.”

   “Peter, what reason did you have to pull an all nighter.”

   “Uh, you know, school work, Avengers stuff-”

   “Peter it was a Friday.”

   “Yeah I know-wait what?”

   “Yes, last night was a Friday Peter.”

   “So, today is…”

   “Saturday Peter.”

   Needless to say it was a long weekend for Peter. All he could do was think about her. Bench girl...No, that didn’t sound right...Book girl. That was better. All he could do was think about book girl. 

   Monday morning finally came, the day he’d been waiting for, he was finally going to talk to book girl. He figured that if any day was good to get her attention it would be today, he’d imagined how he would do it all weekend. Everyone would be wandering around in their own little groups at the MoMA, he’d find her and say something clever about the art and then delve into talking about the book, It was the perfect opportunity...If only that had been how the day actually went. 

   This was not how today was supposed to go at all.

   “I don’t want to go Mr.Stark, please…” 

   And then everything went dark. 

   Five years, a whole five years had passed.

   When Peter came back he honestly didn’t think it had been that long. However, after he was caught up on everything his heart sank. 

   Peter had missed five years. 

   He wished that things had been different. This haunted Peter everyday for the next seven years of his life. He was in college now but he wished that Mr.Stark would’ve been there to see it. He wished that he was there to be proud of him, he wished that he was still there to mentor him. He knew that it couldn’t have gone any other way, Dr.Strange made that clear, but he couldn’t help but long for things to be different. On top of all of this, and admittedly he felt a little stupid about it sometimes, he wished that he would’ve just talked to book girl. 

   It’s funny how life works out sometimes.

   Everything about the city always made Peter feel so small. The buildings, the people, the world was billions and Peter was one and it made him hyper aware of this. So how lucky for him that although he was just one of billions that one particular girl would also be walking down the same street as him that day. 

   Out of billions in the world, Peter was reunited with his one and only at last.

   They bumped into each other in the village, (y/n) was headed to the Bluestone Cafe, and Peter to his study group, needless to say neither of them ended up going where they initially planned to go that day. 

   From that point on (y/n) and Peter were inseparable. When not in class Peter would be with (y/n), and vice versa. They spent cold nights together wrapped up in a blanket with steaming mugs of hot chocolate, and sunny afternoons in bookshops (y/n) always pointing out the best books to Peter, and the worst. 

   “You see Peter,” she motioned to a book on the top of the shelf, “That one sucks-Are you even listening” She giggled and pushed his arm,

   “Sorry, I am, I’m just...You’re so beautiful.”

   They had the type of relationship that others envied and the type of love that would last for forever and it did.

   (y/n) Parker and Peter Parker sat on the front porch of their home watching their children play. The sun was setting and everything was beautiful. Peter turned to his wife,

   “Did I ever tell you about how I pulled an all nighter in an attempt to get your attention?”

   “No, I don’t believe you have.” She smiled at him, and he smiled back and in that moment he realized that there was no one else in the entire world who could make him smile like that. He had loved her since the bench in the courtyard.

              a/n thank you so much for reading, again request stuff if you want! thank you!!

[interstellarflowers]

peter parker x reader | i want you to know | chapter four

i want you to know | chapter four: three hundred thirty three

chapter one | chapter two | chapter three | masterlist

a/n this ones a doozy

major t/w suicidal thoughts, anxiety attack, cursing

word count: 1903

unedited

     It had been a long fucking day. Possibly the longest day of your life, it was lively in all of the worst ways possible. Despite all of these differences, here you were again, on the edge of the roof, at the edge of your world. 

    You stared down and was met with an inky abyss, but you know that all the way down there was a sidewalk. A hard sidewalk. Roughly ninety-three stories in above ground, it was enough...You shook it off and dismissed the idea from your head, it would make all of your work worthless, it would make the betrayal of Uncle Bruce’s one request for naught, and most importantly, it wouldn’t bring your dad back.

   Your father was a man of science, your mother was too, which made you a woman of science as well. You had been aware of death for as long as you could remember, nothing was ever sugar coated, you never had the luxury of that, so you never stopped to ponder what exactly death meant either. Where was he now? 

    “(y/n)” you were snapped out of your thoughts by a certain web-slinger who you specifically asked to not come tonight, but there he was...Peter was truly relentless. 

   You didn’t respond, why would you? After what happened today, you didn’t know if you could ever look him in the eye again.

            “Peter what the fuck.”

   “(y/n), he was fucking with you! He was saying shit he shouldn’t have, and he knew it! Even Mr.Morita agrees, Flash was extremely out of place.”

   “Peter, I don’t give a fuck what Mr.Morita had to say, he doesn’t know what I know.”

  “(y/n),” the harsh lines in Peter’s face softened and he looked sorry, but you didn’t care it was too late, “I was just defending my friend.”

  “Peter, I’m not your friend.”

  You felt a pang in your chest as you felt remorse and regret over what you had just said to him. Of course he was your friend, he was your best friend. But on the other hand, you were certain that best friends should be able to look each other in the eye.

             You knew that Peter wasn’t a mind reader, but you did know that Peter knew that you wanted him to back down, and he didn’t. You also knew Peter’s power, Flash did not. You knew your Peter, that was not him. 

  You had only seen him like that once before and it was the most horrifying scene you had ever witnessed in your entire life. Given, it was on a battlefield, but nevertheless still horrifying. It was the day your dad died. The day was a blur, details are lost in tragedy, but you could recall one thing clear as day, and it was this look on Peter’s face that you had never seen before. 

             The best thing about Peter had always been that he had this way about him. You would refer to it as the ‘Parker way,’ only in your head though, of course, he had this glimmer in his eye and this sparkle in his smile and it made everything feel like it was going to be okay. It was hope, but on that day you saw the light drain from his eyes and you saw the sparkle turn off like a light bulb. It was terrifying because that was the moment that you knew that everything was not going to be okay, because hope was gone. 

  You were sobbing over your father's body, pleading with nothing, talking to a shell, but it didn’t stop you from looking up at Peter from time to time. You saw him watching you, but he watched you with that same drained look, you saw him fist clench so hard you were sure he would break it, and you realized that this was the look of a man who was about to snap. 

     And he did…

               “(y/n), you don’t mean that.”

   You didn’t respond, you just walked to chemistry.

   “You promised.”

   “...I know I did, but (y/n)-”

   “Peter you promised! You scare me! You-you need to leave!” You could feel tears threatening to start pouring out of your eyes, and you did what you thought you would never do again, you looked into Peter’s eyes.

   They were the same. They were the same puppy dog eyes that you had always looked into, but they were glistening, they were glistening with tears. You knew Peter like the back of your hand, you could read him like a book. His face spoke to you it said, “I’m sorry,” it said regret, it said sadness, it said that it was tired, it said that it needed a break, and it...it said something else too, it had always been there for as long as you could remember but you never really knew what it was trying to tell you. It was screaming at you but you could never hear it.

   “(y/n), listen.” You opened your mouth to retaliate but Peter cut you off, “(y/n), I always listen to you, but this time I really need you to listen to me. I’ve been coming here for nearly eleven months, okay? That’s nearly three-hundred and thirty days, and maybe that’s not a lot in the big picture, but (y/n), you have to understand that’s eleven months of no sleep, that’s eleven months of always worrying about you, fearing for your well-being, fearing for your life-”

   “Then stop-”

   “I’m not finished yet.” he said it with such softness yet such firmness, it made the tears start to fall, 

   “Look, I’m sorry. What I did today, it wasn’t my place, I know that, and I promise it won’t happen again. But you have to understand, you were always mine to protect. On every battlefield we ever stepped foot on, we had a mission, but you were always my main mission, to get you out safe. Ever since...Ever since Mr.Stark, the world has felt like a battlefield. I know that Thanos is gone but, people remain, people like Flash. They lurk around corners, they scheme in the dark corners of the internet, they make life a fight, and just like the wars we’ve fought together, you are still my number one mission, and I’m sorry. I know you hate me now, or something, but I don’t think that will ever change. I’ll be in college and everything will still be (y/n) Stark, I’ll be married and it’ll still be (y/n) Stark, fuck, (y/n), I’ll be dead and everything will still be (y/n) Stark! I thought my world was gone without Mr.Stark, but God, my world without (y/n) Stark is nothing. That’s why I never stop, that’s why I’m always here, maybe it’s selfish, maybe it’s not, maybe I’ll never know...But (y/n), I want you-no I need you to know that I know I’ll never feel the pain that you’re feeling right now. I lost my parents but it didn’t have the same publicity, trust me, what people say...It’s vile, but I’m hurting too. Mr.Stark’s death hurt me, you know it did, and it still does, but what’s really hurting me now...It’s you. So, feel however you want about me, I don’t care (y/n) Stark, do your worst, but fuck, just let me sit here, God knows I’ll be here for as long as you are for another three-hundred and thirty days if need be. Let’s just...sit.” 

   So you did. 

                           “Peter.” you called out to him but he couldn’t hear you,

   “Peter.” Steve called out to him next, but he was gone,

   “Pete.” Uncle Bruce pleaded with him.

   Peter was gone, someone else was in his place. Whoever this was looked exactly like him, but he didn’t have his eyes. These were the eyes of a dead man, Peter was gone, a ghost in his place. You couldn’t hear it, it was like the world had been muted, but you knew everyone else did, you could see the looks on their faces, you could see the scene in front of you. 

   This person screamed at the sky, he cursed the universe and everyone in it, he punched and thrashed at the air until he collapsed into a shaky pile on the ground. 

   This scared you, but what really scared you was when it was time to board the ship and go. You watched as Thor started to lug him up, and it all happened so fast yet so slow, it was like the world was in slow motion and fast forward all at once, but the next thing you knew Peter was on the ground again on his knees, silently sobbing and uttering apologies. Thor reassured him over and over, that it was okay, that he understood, but what Peter didn’t know was about the stitches that you watched Thor get later that night. 

   Nobody knew that you were still awake, they all assumed you were knocked out from everything, but you were wide awake. You softly walked down the hallway and slipped around corners until you were where you needed to be. The room didn’t have an official name, but it was a place where the medical supplies were kept, it was where people went when they were hurt. 

   “(y/n)?”

   “How’d you know I was here.”

   “Stealth was never your strong suit.” You both cracked a weak smile at one another as you moved to sit next to him, all you could do was stare at the stitches,

   “Is that…”

   “Yeah, it is, but I’m alright.”

   “Yeah…” Physically he was fine, he’d been through a lot worse, but emotionally you knew he was hurt. He was aching because of who the wound had come from.

   “(y/n)-”

   “Why did he do that.”

   “Well, it’s been a lot-”

   “He shouldn’t have done that.” You could feel your breathing getting heavier and the room starting spinning,

   “(y/n), it’s okay, breathe, you know Peter doesn’t lash out-”

   Sobs broke free from your throat and you put your head on Thor’s lap,

   “But he did.”

   “He won’t again. You know that. He’s still our Peter.”

   You nodded but the room kept spinning and the air seemed to be getting sucked out of your lungs whenever you tried to breathe in,

   “(y/n)?”

                      “(y/n)?” You shifted your position to turn towards Peter.

   Tired, ragged, burnt out, broken.

        “He’s still our Peter.”

            “Peter.” 

   “There’s one more thing that I want you to know.” You were silent but you nodded for him to go on,

   “I want you to know that-”

   There was a gunshot, loud, clear. It broke the warm air and made your ears pop. 

   It came out of nowhere.

   You couldn’t have known.

   It wasn’t your fault. 

   There was no way that you could have known....

a/n chapter five will come soon! let me know if you guys want a playlist for this series, sorry for putting you through that emotional rollercoaster, thank you so much for reading and supporting me! let me know if you want to be added to the tag list, thank you again! also requests are open just hit up my ask box!

tag list @assemblemotherfuckers @heartbeats-wildly@loxbbg@imslightlyconfused@eridanuswave@itsmoony@slythermyg​@dreamerofzaldrizes​

[interstellarflowers]

can you put me in the taglist of "i want you to know" pls? if you're continuing it

Of course! Thank you so much for your support! 

[interstellarflowers]

In Between || Peter Parker x Reader

A/N hey im back, i missed you guys. here's my first fic coming off of hiatus i hope you like it, this is set post infinity war. 

In Between 

Peter Parker x Reader

Now

       Death was always a highly debated topic in your life, which made it highly confusing. Which made everything now even more mind boggling, were you dead? Were you alive? Somewhere in between? You weren’t sure but you felt trapped. Like, the walls were closing in even though there were no walls. You were on a street. You knew you recognized it from somewhere, although you couldn’t quite place it. Everything was so strange, it was like you could remember everything and nothing at all. You were in a city, the sky was painted a faded blue and the clouds didn’t move. It looked like a place that should be lively, but it was desolate. It made you feel empty. 

      Tall. Everything here was tall and endless. It made you feel very finite and extremely small. It made you want to scream, and it made you want to never speak again, it made you want to run, and it made you want to lay down and freeze time, it made you want to cry, but it put you at ease. You didn’t know where you were going, but you had this feeling in your chest, like a flower blooming, like winter turning to spring, so you followed it.

Before

     You looked across the main floor of the tower and you saw him;He was a warm summer rain, he was hot chocolate in the winter and he was the birds singing at sunset. He was Peter Parker, and he was your summer rain, hot chocolate and birds all in one. He eased your mind. 

    He gave you the sort of side smile that the boys in those romcoms do that makes the love interest swoon. You knew it made you swoon. 

     “What will it be today, (y/n)?”

      “I’m not sure yet but hopefully an adventure.” You shot him a side smile back, and you’ll never know, but in that moment he swore that if he was in a romcom then you must be his co-star. 

Now

      You were with someone. You lost them, Where were they? You turned around and it was the same desolate street. You shot your head up to look at the sky, there were just buildings with nobody in them and that boundless sky. So you looked the only way you knew you could, forward. Towards...You weren’t sure where but it felt right, like you had made this walk thousands of times before. 

Before

     He swore to himself before, and he’d keep swearing to himself the same thing. That he would keep you safe no matter the cost. Yet there he was, stuck in space with Mr.Stark, and you were on Earth, millions of miles away. His heart ached and his stomach churned. He felt like something bad was about to happen, he felt it in his bones. More than anything, he wanted to know that whatever it was that you’d be spared. 

   He knew he would give his life for you, but he also knew that he couldn’t do that from space. 

Now

     You didn’t know how long it had been. It could’ve been minutes or hours or years, but you knew you were here. You looked up again, the building stood taller than the others and there was an unrecognizable name of some company or person at the very top. 

   “Stark,” you whispered to yourself. 

    You could’ve sworn you’d heard of it before, you just couldn’t place where. You slipped your fingers around the door handle and it opened with ease, you stepped inside…

Before

     The world was in ruin, it was crumbling before your eyes. War rained down from the very sky. You fought, and fought, and fought. Your limbs felt like they were going to give out, and every muscle in your body ached, but most of all you ached for Peter. You knew that you fought well, but you knew that you could fight so much better if only Peter had been there. 

Now

   You silently groaned as you realized that the elevator was out of order. 

    “What type of building is this?” your words echoed through the empty space, as you opened another door and began to climb step by step to wherever you were going.

Before

     Maybe you could have done something. Maybe you should have fought harder. There were so many maybes and too little time to think about it. 

     “It’s not your fault.” Dr.Banner called out to you as you felt tears pool in your eyes. You nodded because that was all you could do, you watched as everyone you loved began to dissipate. You cried out. You weren’t sure what it was exactly, suddenly you couldn’t hear anything. You looked down only to realize that you were fading away too, like an old photograph, like an old memory, you were disappearing. All you could do was watch helplessly as Dr.Banner and Uncle Steve ran to you. 

    But you were gone. Steve Rogers and Bruce Banner could only grasp at empty air, and look at where you just were, and beat themselves up mentally, only being able to assume the worst. 

After

    “I could’ve done something more,” Steve Rogers says to his group, “It used to keep me up at night. I couldn’t sleep for weeks, all I could see was her face...All I could think of was how I failed her...But we have to remember, it’s not our fault. We couldn’t have done anything no matter how badly we wish that we could’ve. Wherever they are now all we can do is be the person they’d want us to be, to lead the life they’d want for us. That’s all we can do.” 

     Bruce sat next to Steve listening to his words and nodding in agreement. He checked his phone for the eighth time that meeting and was only met with radio silence. He had asked Tony to come, saying it may help, saying he could use the support, but there was nothing. Just like last time.

Before

    Dad always used to say no boys allowed in your room, oh how things change. You trace circles on Peter’s chest as you watch him count the plastic glow in the dark stars on your ceiling. 

   “Hey Peter?”

   “Yeah?”

   “If we don’t make it out-”

   “Please don’t say that.”

   “I’m sorry Peter but I have to, if we don’t...I...I just want you to know that…”

   “I know (y/n), I love you too.”

   “I love you.” you whispered into his chest.

   “I’ll love you forever. Alive, dead, anywhere in between, I’ll always be right here,” he put his hand right over your heart and that’s when the tears starting flowing salty and glistening down both of your cheeks, “And you,” he moved his hand to put it over his heart, “will always be right here.” 

Now

    Now you stare at a door. A door you’re sure you recognize. Your hands start to shake as you begin to open the door…

Before

   “If we make it out I want you to know,” you pulled out a set of rings from the side of your bed, “That I promise to stand by you for the rest of your life...I know we’re teenagers, but Peter, after everything we’ve been through...Peter, we’ve been forced to grow up, and if I die tomorrow, I want to die yours.”

   “(y/n),” he took your hand in his, “Of course.” 

Now

   “(y/n)?”

   It was him. It was summer rain, hot chocolate and birds at sunset. It was your room. It was your home. You were home. 

   “Peter.” you jumped into his arms, “Where is everyone?”

   “It’ll come back to you soon,” 

   “What will?”

   “(y/n),” Peter paused, “Thanos, he won...Or at least for now, (y/n), we disappeared.” 

   “...Is my Dad here?”

   “I haven't seen Mr.Stark anywhere.” 

   “...At least I have you.”

   “You do (y/n), you have me forever,”

   “Do you think we’ll ever see everyone again?”

   “I don’t know (y/n) I wish I did. I’m so sorry.”

   “What for?”

   “I couldn’t keep you safe.”

  “It’s not your fault Peter. I love you.”

   “I love you too.” 

    You opened your eyes, not that there was much of a difference. It was dark outside too. Another day in the abyss, another year, another month? Time seemed to disappear here. You wished he was here. You missed Peter, you missed your dad. You wanted to go home. 

    Peter felt a tear drip down his cheek as he woke up to the same darkness that he’d found himself in after disintegrating in Mr.Stark’s arms. He just wanted to keep (y/n) safe. He just wanted to keep everyone safe. But he couldn’t even save himself. Wherever you were, he hoped you were safe. Wherever you were at least he knew he would always see you when he fell asleep. 

a/n so thats it i hope you liked it, its supposed to be a one shot but if you guys want a part two i can work on it, thank you for reading

[interstellarflowers]

Statement

Hello everyone. Thank you for supporting me and my fics even while I was gone. I’m going to share something personal. I’ve been partially hospitalized for eating disorders and Tumblr was one of my biggest problem areas. I’ve officially been discharged and I’m not in out-patient but it was a tough thing. I had to leave Tumblr honestly because of how large the pro eating disorder community is. It was a trap that I constantly fell into. I think I’m ready to come back though. I just wanted to apologize and thank you for waiting for me. Now I ask, what series should I continue and what type of fics would you guys want? I am officially open for requests!