introspectivelyrical

[introspectivelyrical]

5 foot 2

i’m a small girl some may say diminutive, or cute, or insignificant my height stunted at age 12 and for 15 years my spirit hasn’t followed suit, trying to squeeze itself into 5 foot 2 and once i start oozing from my pores i’ll quickly fill a room no one wants to see the woman i am emerge from the girl i’m supposed to be as i climb out of my own womb and some days their disgusted glares…

[introspectivelyrical]

survivor's guilt

content warning: mention of sexual assault i’m questioning my own reality. like, she was a figment of my imagination. like, she was a hallucination. or a delusion. or like, this entire life is one elaborate illusion. ‘cause how can this be real? it’s like i found myself on the floor. like, i found another girl i couldn’t save. like, my brain was manifesting some sort of simulation for a…

[introspectivelyrical]

this is my life

i’m a girl made of bones and heavy hands i’m a girl who stands still before this life this is my life that repeats in broken- record voices when shame weighs heavy on my chest this is my life a god damn dissociative daydream that i’ve deemed too dull to be reality this is my life that repeats in broken- record voices when shame weighs heavy on my chest this is my life a dissociative…

[introspectivelyrical]

fragmented

i’m bleeding on fragmen ted dreams, ‘cause reality has sliced through these capillaries from a fistful of brok en window tragedies –ah

[introspectivelyrical]

playground

Sensitive Content Warning: Please note that the following poem contains sensitive themes, including descriptions of sexual assault, child abuse, and suicide ideation. Some may find this content disturbing and reader discretion is advised. i remember the length of the grass i wished i could hide in, the length of the bike trail behind the bushes that cyclists would ride along never knowing what…

[introspectivelyrical]

magnifying glass

i’m an hourglass figure who’s easy to break and even when i’m half of myself i still hate what remains of this body, knowing i ate more shame than it ate me and i’m untangling the knots from my curves, but i swear this isn’t a mirror it’s a magnifying glass that’s trying to create a balancing act to tip the scale until it loves me back and i’m hoping i can subtract myself until i’m satisfied…

[introspectivelyrical]

dream catcher

this heart is heavy it rolls off my sleeve each time i stumble it tumbles and bleeds, its beat at a speed i can’t seem to catch up with and i’m fasting to lighten the load, purging what’s become too much to carry, barricading my door with it, making my knife a lifeline as i stab blindly in closets to kill the girl i used to be ‘cause i find the door fucking terrifying i find the unknown…

[introspectivelyrical]

stained glass

you point with broken fingers and fire in your mouths preaching the word with songs of wicked vocalists lawless, disobedient, ungodly you say that god abandoned me the day i knelt at the altar of a girl’s auburn hair that swept her shoulders and swayed with the prayer that danced on her lips the day i told her you are Heaven and she whispered you are Heaven but i’m too afraid to die and…

[introspectivelyrical]

dear future self

–for marissa and whitney dear future self, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? i’m sure you know me well, despite the fact i haven’t met you yet. and i hope you consider me an old friend. ‘cause i swear i have the best intentions, drawing lines in the sand for you to follow to places i’m sure i can’t imagine. i hope those places are safe, and that you’ve learned how to do more than simply tread…

[introspectivelyrical]

excerpt from cold baptisms 💖follow my other socials💖

[introspectivelyrical]

conversion therapy 💖follow my other socials💖

[introspectivelyrical]

no

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[introspectivelyrical]

excerpt from no (wip) 💖follow my other socials💖

[introspectivelyrical]

broken, geneva

time was timeless there no ticking clocks only ticking tongues every time i pissed myself to come clean and i think my teeth are still wedged within those concrete walls i think my cracked voice still reverberates through those stained carpet halls i think i can’t forgive what i can’t forget and how can i forget? when my memories run laps like safety checks that felt more like encroaching…

[introspectivelyrical]

broken, geneva 💖follow my other socials💖

[introspectivelyrical]

excerpt from broken, geneva (a wip)

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[introspectivelyrical]

excerpt from wick in water

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