isaiditoutloud

[isaiditoutloud]

Twitter is dying, (like you haven't already heard) so maybe we're back here??? I'm scared am I really doing this?????????

[isaiditoutloud]

I’ve been looking out the window for eighteen years. Dreaming about what it would feel like when those lights rise in the sky. What if it’s not everything that I dreamed it would be?

Tangled (2010) dir. Nathan Greno, Byron Howard

[isaiditoutloud]

When You Suddenly Remember A Painful Memory

I can still feel the cold mountain air. That little mountain town...what was the name?

I remember the entire drive up, the tension. It was thick but maluable. Like rubber.

I can still feel the snow. I remember the room.

I remember that stupid little bar. The one that you HAD to stay at. What was the point? To think that anything has gotten better in ten years. My, I try to fool myself into believing it.

Curse the carriage ride. Curse the money you spent that you didn’t have. It’s all cursed in my mind.

My poor babies, who live in the splash zone of your self-made tsunami. Shame on you for your denial and complacency. Shame on you for hurting me so, and you continue to do so for little minds that can’t choose.

I wish that mountain air would stop burning my nose.

[isaiditoutloud]

Come boldly, O Believer, for despite the whisperings of the enemy and the doubtings of thine own heart, thou art greatly beloved.

Charles Spurgeon  (via bibledevotionals)

[isaiditoutloud]

I CANT REMEMBER WHAT OR WHO THIS IS ABOUT AND ITS KILLING ME WOW 18 YR OLD ME DID NOT CARE

I can’t be what you want me to be.

I can’t be anymore than what I am.

A friend forever, that’s all I am to everyone.

Dreams were meant to be lived….not pushed aside for a little house with a picket fence and rose bushes.

I have to go somewhere, be someone, DO something…

I hope you find what you’re looking for.

I’ll wait forever, but you won’t, and you shouldn’t.

Go, live your dream. Find your lover, be happy.

But I hate watching you hurt, when I can’t do anything about it.

I really am sorry.

Don’t let this change us.

[isaiditoutloud]

I don’t know, let’s see what happens.

I finally said it out loud. To him.

I’m not cured, I’m not okay. But a little part of my little girl came out today. Do I get to say that my pain mattered? Do I DESERVE to have my trauma be real? I do not know.

I was alone...back then I was alone. I had people who cared and loved me. I know that. But emotionally, I was alone to fight my battles. Everything happened at once and I didn’t have anyone to protect me or fight for me. I guess that would be normal now, but I was 13. I was 14. I was a child. I was stuck with a person who was also left alone...and she just bled onto me. I bathed in her hurt even though I didn’t know it. I did anything she wanted because I wanted to believe that she really loved me. Maybe she did, maybe she does. But she hurt me...do I get to say that? Do I get to be right? 

Do I get to sob about this? Do I get to be believed? Does my pain matter? Am I allowed to think about the hurt?

He seemed to think so.

[isaiditoutloud]

WHAT DID I JUST MAKE

[isaiditoutloud]

"Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss." F. Scott Fitzgerald

[isaiditoutloud]

[isaiditoutloud]

THE FEELS

[isaiditoutloud]

not every single text post calls for a supernatural gif jfc

[isaiditoutloud]

[isaiditoutloud]

[isaiditoutloud]

[isaiditoutloud]

My cover of Stay Out by Nina Nesbitt...Like, reblog, subscribe stufff like that kidssss?!?!?! <3 <3 <3

[isaiditoutloud]

I’m pretty sure the reason no one has ever tried to sell me drugs is because I already seem like I have drugs

[isaiditoutloud]

If you’re having a hard time because you like something that maybe a lot of other people don’t, know that when you grow up, no one cares. It’s so great. I call it like a fish bowl to an ocean. There are too many people to keep track of for everyone to judge. I feel like it just gets a lot more laid back and no one cares. It’s really nice.