isolemnlyswearimuptonomarauding - Tumblr blog

[isolemnlyswearimuptonomarauding]

Lily: I don't want to talk to you right now!

Snape: Fine!

James: What's happening here? Trouble in paradise?

Lily: ...

James: Oh come on, Lils. Tell me or I'll just die.

Lily: You say it, but you don't mean it.

[isolemnlyswearimuptonomarauding]

James: Question. When they shot Bambi’s mother, did you find that a sad moment… at all?

Barty: I’m sure she’s mounted on a nice wall in a fine home somewhere.

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Snape: Ugh, I just could not get out of bed earlier.

Sirius: [Passing by] Why? Did someone leave a big rock on your coffin again?

[isolemnlyswearimuptonomarauding]

Marlene: So, why does Juliet kill herself?

Remus: Because without Romeo, she has no reason to live.

Lily: Oh, you can tell this play was written by a man.

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Snape: I really feel that i have grown and matured, I've really come to like myself as a person

Mulciber: What’s the problem?

Snape: Everyone else hates me

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Sirius: I have to move out of my apartment to get my floors redone and I cannot find a kennel.

James: Oh, treat yourself to a hotel!

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Sirius: I heard that you’re pretty paranoid

Moody: I’m not paranoid

Sirius: …

Moody: Who said I was?

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Peter: How are you feeling, Remus?

Remus: I'm feeling empty and alone.

Peter: You want a Tic Tac?

Remus: Sure.

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Regulus: Just thought we were hanging out...just as friends.

Sirius: We're not friends. We're brothers, go get your own friends.

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Sirius: I just want you to know I will be mean to Snivellus if you want me to be.

Lily: Oh no, no, it's fine Sirius.

Sirius: It's really no problem. I was already planning on being mean to him.

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Lily: Remus you deserve the best and you found it. Sirius, don't you dare hurt him.

Sirius: Haha, I won't.

Marlene: Don't laugh, she means it.

Sirius: Okay, I–I won't.

James: Seriously mate, don't hurt him.

Sirius: Okay, I'm not planning on hurting him.

Peter: You better not be.

Sirius: I'm not!

Mary: Hey Sirius, you best watch yourself.

Sirius: Why would any of you think I would hurt Remus? You're all my friends too.

Lily: Eh...

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James: So not that it's a competition but... what have you been doing?

Peter: You know, I've been laying down a lot. Yeah...you're the doer I'm the...not doer.

James: In life there's like doers and there's talkers–

Peter: See I don't like to talk either.

James: Right...

Peter: I don't like to do or talk. I just be.

James: Yeah.

Peter: I'm just very existential.

James: You're ambitious but also not actually aspiring–

Peter: No no no.

James: Not even that?

Peter: Not even that. Don't put words in my mouth.

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James: The other day he was here, I'm gonna– here we go.

Remus: No, fuck you! Don't don't don't, don't you dare!

James: The other day he was here and he was reading a catalogue and he was looking for a brick of tea leaves and it was 1500 Galleons FOR TEA LEAVES.

Remus: Yeah James, do you know why? Because it was a fucking aged Pu'er tea from 1927. A 33 year old tea, James!

James: You're just saying words that mean nothing.

Remus: How do they mean nothing?

James: You're tea bougie!

Remus: I'm not tea bougie!

Peter: ...you are tea bougie...

James: YOU WANT A 1500 GALLEON BRICK OF LEAVES!

Remus: Don't you fucking dare! You have a 10,000 Galleon watch, you stupid bitch! And you don't even wear it all the time! You can't even tell time! Fun fact about James, he failed his third grade test at telling time!

Peter: It's true. He never learned.

Remus: That's why he has a fucking clock out there that has no ticks on it.

James: I can tell time!

Remus: No you can't!

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Lily: I think my water just broke.

James: No, no you’re not due for another three weeks!

Lily, sarcastically: Oh, okay never mind.

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Remus: Wait, how did you know Sirius and I were dating?

James: You just seem really happy for the first time in a while.

Remus: Aww.

James: I’m playing mate. I saw you guys making out last week. Congratulations though.

[isolemnlyswearimuptonomarauding]

Sirius: I never thought I'd have to say this but there is only space in this family for one unstable sibling and I have held that title for a very long time. So you are going to have to get it together!

Regulus: ...

[isolemnlyswearimuptonomarauding]

McGonagall: What are you four doing in the forest at night?

James: We're conducting an important experiment-

McGonagall: Okay, you know what? I don't care. In fact, as soon as I started asking the question, I thought to myself, "Why are you asking this? You don't care about the answer."