#source: superstore

[angelofthenight]

Tommy: God, (y/n) is so attached to Alfie.

Polly: Well… they’re married…

[filmyocean]

Inej: Isn't that embezzlement?

Nina: No, embezzlement is when you put jewels on your jacket.

Wylan: I think you mean bedazzling.

Jesper: Which is also a crime.

[teenwolfpackincorrectcaptions]

Stiles: You know, don't take this the wrong way, but I feel like you've become a lot more fun since I've known you.

Derek: Thanks. And to return the compliment, I think you've become marginally less irritating. That's why I married you.

[little-miss-mei]

Yuu: Did you guys pick up on any weird tension between me and Malleus at that meeting?

Yuu: Because I think he might be into me.

Ace: Hahahahahahahahaha!!!

Yuu:

Grim:

Deuce:

Ace: Oh, I thought you were joking.

[incorrectbuckandeddie]

[incorrectstarwarsquotess]

Obi-Wan, in Kenobi: People call anything ‘mental illness’ these days.

Obi-Wan: Like, sometimes, I’ll lie in bed all weekend, because I no longer take pleasure in things I used to enjoy.

Obi-Wan: Does that make me *uses air-quotes* ‘depressed’?

Bail Organa: Yes..

Leia: It does..

Second sister: Yeah, dude..

Obi-Wan:

Obi-Wan, in disbelief: ...What?

[lesbian-deadpool]

(Natasha walks in on Clint and Y/N arguing)

Clint: That is insane you would get sick!

Y/N: I’m not saying you wouldn’t get sick, I’m just saying every arrangement is technically an edible arrangement!!

[0dde11eth]

Geralt: I can bench 160

Geralt: *gazing at jaskier* 165 in the right situation

[arrenemris]

Incorrect buddie quotes: 28/?

[oceanview15]

Katara: You really think you can just walk on in here and be part of the team all because you apologized and you’re cute, but I’m not buying-

Zuko: Wait. You think I’m cute?

Katara:

Katara: No! I do not think you’re cute! I think you just look like a person who’s cute!

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Steve: Wait, how did you know Bucky and I were dating?

Sam: You just seem really happy for the first time in a while.

Steve: Aww.

Sam: I’m playing dude. I saw you guys making out last week. Congratulations though.

[angelofthenight]

Tommy: Your husband Alfie’s a lunatic, Arthur and I both agree.

You: You do?

Arthur: No, uh-uh, I did never call him a lunatic!

Tommy: Sorry, I think I’m the one who called him a lunatic.

Tommy: Arthur called him a clown.

[paperclipbracelet]

John: Abigail can be so unreasonable! She keeps expecting me to babysit Jack for free!

Arthur: For the last time; it's not babysitting IF IT'S YOUR OWN GOD DAMN KID!

[teenwolfpackincorrectcaptions]

Peter: So Derek, how are things with you and Eli?

Derek: Great, you know, same old Eli. Little dangerous, little mysterious…little dyslexic. He recently lost his flip-flops so ups and downs.

(Peter being the supportive uncle to single dad Derek.)

[incorrectgreekmyths]

Zeus: You know im getting tired of you of asking me to babysit Hebr for free

Hera: once again, its not babysitting IF THEY ARE YOUR OWN KID!

[incorrectbuckandeddie]