#source: superstore
angelofthenight · 2 days
Tommy: God, (y/n) is so attached to Alfie.
Polly: Well… they’re married…
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filmyocean · 1 day
Inej: Isn't that embezzlement?
Nina: No, embezzlement is when you put jewels on your jacket.
Wylan: I think you mean bedazzling.
Jesper: Which is also a crime.
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Stiles: You know, don't take this the wrong way, but I feel like you've become a lot more fun since I've known you.
Derek: Thanks. And to return the compliment, I think you've become marginally less irritating. That's why I married you.
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little-miss-mei · 2 months
Yuu: Did you guys pick up on any weird tension between me and Malleus at that meeting?
Yuu: Because I think he might be into me.
Ace: Hahahahahahahahaha!!!
Ace: Oh, I thought you were joking.
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Obi-Wan, in Kenobi: People call anything ‘mental illness’ these days.
Obi-Wan: Like, sometimes, I’ll lie in bed all weekend, because I no longer take pleasure in things I used to enjoy.
Obi-Wan: Does that make me *uses air-quotes* ‘depressed’?
Bail Organa: Yes..
Leia: It does..
Second sister: Yeah, dude..
Obi-Wan, in disbelief: ...What?
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lesbian-deadpool · 1 month
(Natasha walks in on Clint and Y/N arguing)
Clint: That is insane you would get sick!
Y/N: I’m not saying you wouldn’t get sick, I’m just saying every arrangement is technically an edible arrangement!!
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0dde11eth · 24 days
Geralt: I can bench 160
Geralt: *gazing at jaskier* 165 in the right situation
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arrenemris · 10 months
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Incorrect buddie quotes: 28/?
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oceanview15 · 16 days
Katara: You really think you can just walk on in here and be part of the team all because you apologized and you’re cute, but I’m not buying-
Zuko: Wait. You think I’m cute?
Katara: No! I do not think you’re cute! I think you just look like a person who’s cute!
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incorrectquotesmcu · 8 months
Steve: Wait, how did you know Bucky and I were dating?
Sam: You just seem really happy for the first time in a while.
Steve: Aww.
Sam: I’m playing dude. I saw you guys making out last week. Congratulations though.
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angelofthenight · 2 months
Tommy: Your husband Alfie’s a lunatic, Arthur and I both agree.
You: You do?
Arthur: No, uh-uh, I did never call him a lunatic!
Tommy: Sorry, I think I’m the one who called him a lunatic.
Tommy: Arthur called him a clown.
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paperclipbracelet · 5 days
John: Abigail can be so unreasonable! She keeps expecting me to babysit Jack for free!
Arthur: For the last time; it's not babysitting IF IT'S YOUR OWN GOD DAMN KID!
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Peter: So Derek, how are things with you and Eli?
Derek: Great, you know, same old Eli. Little dangerous, little mysterious…little dyslexic. He recently lost his flip-flops so ups and downs.
(Peter being the supportive uncle to single dad Derek.)
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incorrectgreekmyths · 6 months
Zeus: You know im getting tired of you of asking me to babysit Hebr for free
Hera: once again, its not babysitting IF THEY ARE YOUR OWN KID!
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