its-getting-bad-again04

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I think I need to be hospitalized I am a danger to myself I keep trying to overdose and die. I am terrified and stuck and I am going to tell no one

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anyone else feeling like a pathetic dog

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I don’t think I’m crazy at all actually

I think it is totally within my abilities to see the face of god

And I think how scared I am is a totally normal response

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theres an 80% chance I wont be here by the end of next week. I just have to get some stuff done first

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i quit therapy

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ive lowkey given up on life lolz

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I start T tomorrow lets fucking go!!

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told my parents Im going to start hrt.

my appointment is on thursday

its happening

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Witch’s of tumblr I need some help.

I have psychosis, but my therapist says I can use magic if it helps me feel calm and safe.

I have been under attack by magical creatures: faries, demons, malevolent/trickster spirits and I need help keeping myself safe.

I’ve been taking salt water bathes and carrying iron on me as well as salt. However I was hoping for some easy protection spells I could do, rituals or protection ruins, if any essential oils can help me or herbs. Please let me know

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[its-getting-bad-again04]

i got a therapist and psychiatrist last week.

Im on antipsychotics

I am diagnosed with P-NOS (psychosis not otherwise specified/not due to drugs or preexisting condition, which basically means I need more tests and an MRI before they can diagnose me further), Major depression, and Generalized anxiety.

so go me

In worse news, I have fairies in my blood :/ they wont leave me alone

In better news

I start T this month! Meeting with a gender specialist on the 11th.

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shit.

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i don't know what this feeling is

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The hallucinations and paranoia came back yesterday. Maybe it was just a blip. Trying not to think about it. Also officially 2 weeks medicated 🤪

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The meds Lowkey make me feel heartless. Like what do you mean my emotions aren’t supposed to cause me constant physical pain???

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Guys, I just saw I missed a class where we picked partners for our next assignment, and I just went oh, thats okay Im sure I can still find a partner ????? instead of having a panic attack and spiraling??????? I just started emailing my classmates???????????

Then, the other day, I was worried I missed too many classes and I was going to fail (i don't know for sure because Im have a lot of memory issues from the weed and bad mental health), and I could feel the panic rising in me and I took a deep breathe and it just ?????????? poof gone ?????????

Not to mention I haven't hallucinated at all in a WEEK, not even like objects moving, no voices, nothing ????????????????????????

it makes sense tho bc I usually hallucinate when Im panicky/incredibly nervous/paranoid BUT it is w i l d to just be fine.

I really really don't want to jinx it but I think the meds might be working :D*

Fingers crossed.

[its-getting-bad-again04]

FUCK ING STUPID FUCK FUCK FUCK FUXK FUCK

FUCKKKKK FUCK FUCK