joeythebanana

[joeythebanana]

don’t know how i got here (but i’m all alone)

summary: was it too much to ask not to be around a man who used to eye fuck your sister while professing his feelings for you?

fics that inspired this one

title: just a waste by pinkpantheress

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truthfully, edwina doesn't know when her feelings toward her... prior engagement turned into a wave of scalding hot anger. it felt like one day she was fine; she could laugh and smile easily.

even if no one noticed how her eyes lacked their usual shine.

she was accepting invitations to the brigerton house.

even if it makes her skin crawl to be near anthony once more.

she was attending balls and dancing with potential suitors once more.

even if she knew those same men whispered behind her back.

edwina brushed off the first embers of resentment that began to form in her. she was a rational thinker who had read extensively on the mind and man. unsurprisingly, her situation with lord bridgerton is causing her current negative feelings.

knowing it was kate that held his affection did not make the situation better.

however, as the new season progressed, edwina became less inclined to accept her sister's request for a visit. she felt more obligated to burn the parchment with each invitation. why must kate insist on forcing this blending of families? was it not kate who let the farce between anthony and edwina go on? was it not anthony who purposely pursued her, knowing he wanted her fucking sister?

(once, after everything was...better, kate admitted to sleeping with him before edwina's wedding ceremony. edwina didn't know whether to strangle her, laugh, or cry. god, what a fucking idiot she was.)

after a few narrow yet successful attempts at avoiding the bridgerton house, amma finally talks with her.

('ed, would you care to tell me what is wrong, my love?' 'nothing, amma. i am fine.' cue a fake smile. her mother does not falter.

'why have you not been visiting your sister as of late? she thinks you are terribly upset with her.' fake smile falters.

'i have been busy, amma, with suitors.' they both stare at each other.

they both know that edwina is a ruined girl.)

amma does not bring up the topic again and must have told kate as the contents of her invitations include discussing future prospects. edwina scoffs. as if kate's antics last season did not ruin her so-called prospects. no man wants a woman with a bloodhound for a sister, and no man especially wants a woman who runs from the altar.

god, she was truly fucked, wasn't she?

as the days continued and her discontent grew, edwina could finally root out the cause of her horrible disposition.

betrayal.

every single goddamn person around her betrayed her. everyone around her knew about kate and anthony's affection for one another. they saw her play the love-blind fool and said nothing.

not her mother.

not lady danbury.

not even her fucking sister.

hell, none of the bridgerton siblings could muster up the courage to tell what she was too dumb to see. with how rambunctious they are, she's surprised none of them blurted it out during that blasted game of pallmall.

she sees it later, however.

how everyone subtly looks at her when anthony shares a kiss with kate.

how eloise tries to engage in discussion with her about their latest reads.

how daphne always has a sad smile for edwina every time they see each other.

how anthony doesn't even look at her when making the announcement about kate's pregnancy.

how her mother gives her a look of pity at each rejected invitation to the bridgerton house.

it's such a shame that edwina did not know whether to scream, cry, or break something once her emotions hit her at total capacity. she is lucky for the presence of the moon, as she can scream into her pillow all night.

i'm just a shame

i'm just a waste

it's the way it is

'cause my mama said

[joeythebanana]

I painted Okoye and Attuma in my Indigenous art style. I have a solo exhibition, Katyiluka, in February and they’re going in it!

[joeythebanana]

ALICENT HIGHTOWER became the second wife to the king. she was the mother of king AEGON II, queen HELAENA, prince AEMOND and prince DAERON.

“Foolish men have tried but only you have shown me how to love being alive” — Darling, Halsey.

RHAENYRA TARGARYEN was the mother of two kings, AEGON III and VISERYS II, and the stillborn VISENYA, all born from her marriage to daemon. but first, she had birthed prince JACAERYS, prince LUCERYS and prince JOFFREY, her strong boys.

“I won't die for love but ever since I met you you could have my heart and I would break it for you” — 1121, Halsey.

LAENA VELARYON became the second wife of daemon targaryen and finally gave birth to his twin daughters, RHAENA and BAELA. she died on childbirth.

“And nothing could stop me from giving a try I've loved you for all of my life” — More, Halsey.

[joeythebanana]

Everybody defending Aemond about claiming Vhagar. If I found out that my cousin (?) claimed my mothers dragon at the funeral and then proceeded to be a dick about it? I too, would have thrown hands.

I will defend them with my life.

[joeythebanana]

why is hotd completely uninterested in Rhaena and Baela? Their mother died (horrifically), their father is neglectful, Baela was a ward of Rhaenys!!! Rhaena grew up on dragonstone with her cousins and Rhaenyra as a stepmother??

There are rumours that Daemon and Rhaenyra killed Laenor, what do they think about that, have they been trusted with the truth? How does that effect their relationship with their cousins? Do they think it's cool that Lucerys took out Aemond's eye? Do they grieve their uncle? What is going on with them?!

The first few episodes gave me so much hope that this show would be interested in women and concerned with how actions, social position and mores, and the lack of political power impact women's choices and motivations. Yet here are two girls with no interiority.

Alicent and Rhaenyra's relationships with their fathers were set up and the rest is implied, Rhaena and Baela don't even get that much. It is all background, utterly neglected, when it should be a source of tension and drama. Here are two women, whose mother died in the childbed (does Rhaenyra bond with them over this? Does she say sorry, do they share in that grief at least?) and their father shamed Laena by wedding his niece on the back of not only her death but also the "death" of their uncle.

Shared grief seems to be enough for Daemon's daughters and Rhaenyra's sons to have a good relationship, it is the foundation (since their first meeting was seemingly at their mother's funeral?) where each had lost a parent—but the girls are trueborn, are they dismissive of the rumour, disinterested? Do they have some radical politics, like Daemon, and simply think it shouldn't matter, or do they have a streak of Targaryen exceptionalism, like Daemon, and think that the rules should not confine them and theirs? Is it out of loyalty or circumstance, is it out of personal connection and feeling, or did it only start out that way and now the heightened emotions have cooled and they know that they are restrained by their parents and their position? Or does love of their cousins overrule it all?

They were younger than Rhaenyra when this all happened, and what they endured was worse than Aemma's death and her best friend marrying her father, but it is still a mirror to those events. And yet, nothing. It is given nothing.

[joeythebanana]

Rhaena and Baela probably when the green children decided to be little psychopaths and ruin the dinner party

[joeythebanana]

Yes.

[joeythebanana]

okay hear me out!!

WOMEN IN TARGARYEN- VELARYON BLOODLINE ARE THE TOP-TIER, THE BADDEST BITCHES IN THIS SHOW!! RHAENYS, LAENA, BAELA AND RHAENA! THEY’RE PERFECT

[joeythebanana]

NEW ACCOUNT ALERT!!!

it’s called dojaxcow

i write nsfw stuff or what not over there

[joeythebanana]

i wanted to be cute and edgy

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[joeythebanana]

fear street really said ACAB, always believe female survivors, gay rights, sisterhood, white men are more evil than satan, straight people are a plague on society, bisexual lighting, and black lives matter. we STAN.

[joeythebanana]

couldn’t find a honey themed lock screen so i made one

if you use it plz give me some credit ❤️

[joeythebanana]

'cause the girls in the hood are always hard

girls in the hood by megan thee stallion

ʟɪᴋᴇ-ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇɴᴛ-sʜᴀʀᴇ

[joeythebanana]

freak nasty by megan thee stallion

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[joeythebanana]

all black lives matter

all black lives matter

all black lives matter

all black lives matter

[joeythebanana]

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[joeythebanana]

had to exit cheesy ****** out my circle like a pizza

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