omg i’m so fat i’m so fat i’m so fat i’m so fat
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when i put the work in, studying and reading is so much more fulfilling than any food, i could have been SKINNY and SUCCESFUL all this time??!
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I want people to look at me and know I have a problem.
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the only thing more frustrating than people telling me what to eat is people telling me when to eat, and the only thing more frustrating than people telling me when to eat is people telling me to eat.
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when you tell your friend (who is incidentally a 17 year old boy) that you have been going the whole day on a muesli bar and two biscuits and he asks what is wrong with your metabolism and you just don't have the heart to tell him that you function like this almost all the time
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so, guess whose body went and started bleeding literal five hours after they posted this after pretending that their period doesn't exist for multiple months? (my body, for some reason)
i am very pleased but at the same time very upset about the fact that my period didn't stop in the times when i was fasting for days without end and stopped only this winter, when i was back to eating like a pig and almost went back to my hw. i hope it won't come back so much, and also that i will hit my lw again and maybe even hit my sibling's weight.
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when you know that your comfort food is not worth the calories:
(yes i ate almost a whole durum last night and yes i am so ashamed of it [also my tummy hurts because of my period :'c])
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to be honest, i get scared when i suspect ed in my friends not because i know the dangers of it and shit, but because i am scared that they will be better than me even in mental ilness and i couldn't possibly bear that.
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i am very pleased but at the same time very upset about the fact that my period didn't stop in the times when i was fasting for days without end and stopped only this winter, when i was back to eating like a pig and almost went back to my hw. i hope it won't come back so much, and also that i will hit my lw again and maybe even hit my sibling's weight.
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bad grades? could be solved by being skinny.
bad love life? they would like you back if you were skinny.
bad relationships in general? they wouldn't mind you as much if you were skinny.
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"you have to eat, it's what keeps you alive!" uhm no, actually, what keeps me alive is just literature and pure spite.
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growing up as the "food-loving", though "regular-sized", kid with an XS underweight sibling and an almond mom << anything else from my past
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