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Bubbles!

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Absolutely fantastic pixel art.

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The Book of Eibon

(I have already started writing a different version of)

a story in which a man becomes a god, and is silenced by his understanding, who does nothing in his capability, because he already knows what will happen, told through the understanding of a life-time friend.

"I would not grant you my power, because I would not strip life from a dear friend. I am no longer alive, I am everything; though, by my loyalty to you, I shall remain in the image you know me best as, and perish in that image as you should expect."

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Google is sexist.

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That's my rule.

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DelcoTimes - UPPER DARBY — An elderly couple mistakenly received a 5-pound brick of marijuana, with a street value of $10,000, police said.  The residents of the first block of Heather Road received a package delivery from UPS earlier last week and turned it over to police April 21.  “They didn’t know the name on the package and thought it was delivered by mistake,” police Superintendent Michael Chitwood said. “They left it on the porch thinking someone would pick it up. When no one did, they opened it and called police and we retrieved it.”

Wrong answer, elderly couple. The correct answer was “keep it and get high as you want for the rest of your life.” I mean if you were a few decades younger you may want to look into flipping that weight and trying to make a buck or two, but at this point who really cares, right? There’s a reason nobody gives a shit about old people: they don’t buy anything. If the elderly were out spending money buying cars and homes and boats and electronics and new furniture, the media would focus on them more, give them more tv shows, and fill their old raisin brains with advertisements like they do for the rest of us. But since old folks don’t buy shit and just cruise control their way into the grave, there’s no reason for this couple to turn a profit.

Should have just smoked it or baked it into peach cobbler or whatever it is you eat, old folks. Your arthritis, glaucoma, and piercing hatred for your spouse would all dramatically decrease. You’d probably have more fun together than you’ve had in years. But no, you chose to go to the cops like a couple of fucking lames. This story is Exhibit A for why people don’t like the elderly. This article should read “73 year-old woman found topless and high on marijuana in treehouse built by her 78 year-old husband.” You’d be some rad-ass motherfuckers for that. But no. Too much fun I guess. Better to just play it safe and watch CSI marathons until the reaper comes and sentences you to eternal darkness.

PS – This SUCKS for the guy that was supposed to be getting 5 lbs of weed that day. Not exactly like he can complain now.

PPS – Somebody is 100% going to get shot.

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An ode~

I had to write an ode for poetry class. Here it goes:

An Ode to Ivory Thrones

I write this ode on an ivory throne

which one would judge for its quaint appearance

secure to procure business unknown

public but private; free from disturbance

Magic unfolds as I stand in pleasure

to gaze at the gifts I have been bequeathed:

three sultry turds I am too coy to keep.

I wave a white flag in my surrender

spangled with remnants as harvested heath

three fertile lumps I would rather not reap

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"Chodes is a municipality in the province of Zaragoza, Aragon, Spain. As of 2007, Chodes had a population of 152"

-Nice church, chodes.

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Rutgersfest: The Ultimate Shit-Show

Top 10 Rutgersfest moments (from personal experience)

Rutgersfest is special: It is the only Friday when the college slobs of New Brunswick wake up before noon (to drink). Drinking starts around 10 A.M. for the average student, and generally goes on until the second confirmed gunshot. You may or may not agree with this way of life, but here are a list of ten things which I've decided to embrace as my favorite moments of Rutgersfest.

10. The music

      Yes, number 10 on my list is the actual purpose of Rutgersfest: The music. This year we had Yelawolf, featuring such great singles as Pop The Trunk (check out the music video online), 3OH!3, and Pitbull. Oh, we also had this one white guy come out and rap to Miley Cyrus and two other songs, I don't know what he was doing.

9. Kegs . . .

8. and Eggs.

     The second annual Kegs and Eggs was made of win. I got there a little after 11 A.M. and began my day of drinking. You might be thinking eggs and beer are a bad combo, but consider that the eggs are cooked into omelets. Yeah, I got mine with red peppers, diced onions, and cheese. Zing!

      Then there's the activities. My favorite was a game called Dirt Bag. It's a game where two people try to throw a piece of crap into a hole. The catch of this game is, if you are so far off with your throw that the other person has to get off of his or her lazy ass and get the piece of shit, you lose! Duh, #Losing!

7. Random social interactions

     Usually by making fun of other ridiculous people, I found myself bonding with complete strangers. To fully enjoy yourself, sometimes you have to take a step back and spectate the hootenanny. On my first bus trip to Bush, I couldn't help but share laughs with a sober man on the bus. His friend, who was drinking a beer on the bus, had his share of Slutgers with a rather rotund woman grinding on his lap. Not bad, not bad.

6. Lying

     Most people who come to Rutgersfest are either drunk, new to the campus, or both. Chances are you will be asked for directions to The Greece Trucks (YES, it's The Greece Trucks, not Grease Trucks- named after its location in relation to Frat row) or you will be asked for directions to some random street. Now, if you know anything about Rutgers, you know where The Greece Trucks are, but you might not know where Morell street is in your state of mind or inexperience. Just know- You can tell them ANYTHING.

5. Climbing in through the bus window

     It's no different from a zombie apocalypse. Hundreds of brainwashed degenerates foaming at the mouth charge every bus. Only 200 make it on. Some allies on-board open the emergency window to lead their brethren to salvation. An additional 20 hop in through the window. The remaining 3,000 wait to charge the nextbus.

4. Climbing out through the bus window

     Traffic? No problem. Climb out the bus window. There's so much bad s**t happening that the only risk of climbing out of the bus window on rt. 18 is the 8 foot fall or getting clipped by a Mac truck.

3. Drinking

    Rutgersfest is the day to wear your shit face. Get shit faced and flaunt it, you WON'T stick out. Plus, if you vomit on someone, you will feel an overwhelming sense of power. Everyone is looking to pick a fight on Rutgersfest. No one is looking to get puked on. Know your defenses.

2. It is going to be a bad day.

    You may have an awful Rutgersfest, but rest assured, you can live in the comfort of knowing that there are many people around you having a worse day then you. I saw two girls with no shoes walking down Hamilton street, one girl lose her phone, her friends and her dignity, and like 3 doods got shot (totally unrelated shootings). Your day could be worse.

1. The car who rained down money

     These people instilled hope into mankind. At around 2 A.M. I was walking to pick up my girlfriend from work and I hear the sound of giddy men and rap music. Two young American heroes and their female companions spouted money from their 2 door coupe like Old Faithful of Yellowstone Park. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Regardless of the passerby's race or gender, they tossed dollar bills out of their car in voluminous quantity for all to enjoy. Triggered by the chorus of a song, they played for all of us to hear: "Make it, make it, rain!!! Rain! Make it, make it, rain!! Rain!"

     I applaud you fine young gentlemen.

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The most annoying pokemon of Generation IV, now the most obnoxious lip makeup of our generation. <3 Bidoof

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at work until 2 A.M....

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all-things-makeup:

oh yeah, and you’re missing out on my giveaway as well.

http://all-things-makeup.tumblr.com/post/4457016099/150-follower-giveaway-wet-n-wild-color-icon

YOU HAVE A GIVEAWAY?! How could anyone NOT follow you?!

it's ok that you unfollowed me, you're the one who is missing out, i think i've got a pretty good blog going. and i know my loyal followers appreciate my posts. i'm not going to take the time to go through my 300 + followers to find you and unfollow you back. have a nice life <3

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True hero.

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EVERYTHING I WANT IN A TATTOO

He beat me to it!

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Thank you Katy Perry!

FINALLY!

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Why don't all pictures just shake a little to make them more interesting?

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Is this a concert or a douchebag convention?