lupa2003

[lupa2003]

My friend used to tell me about the story of love. One day all the emotions decide to play a game of hide and seek. Pain is the one who should catch all the hidden emotions which means he is the catcher. Happiness hides behind the door, excitement hides behind the pillars, and so on. Pain founds every emotions except love. So Anger, the dear of pain gave a clue about love who hides behind roses. Thorny roses. With the sense of achievement pain drags love from behind roses. The spikey edge of the thorn graze the eyes of love which leave her blind for the rest of her life. God was mad at pain for his behaviour and declared the he should accompany love for the rest of her life. Till todays its been like that. "Love who is blind is always accompanied by pain"

[lupa2003]

PART 1

HEADLINE: A 23 year old brutally kills his family that includes his grandmother, brother, Girlfriend, uncle, aunt and critically injured his mother within 7 hours and turn himself to police.

Words of dead brother,

Hey brother, hope u r happy after all the thing u have done. Y did u do that bro?just y. You said its because of financial situation was it really the reason? Did mother hurt you anyway? How could u strangle her and see her body writhing into a critical condition. It was our mother bro. OUR MOTHER. In the absence of papa, weren't you the one who raised me? Did u feel that i was a burden? You know it had hurt when you had beaten me with a hammer on the head. The pain in the head was nothing compared to the pain in the heart.The hand that had embraced me to to your chest was the same hands that gave me unforgettable pain until my last breath.The eyes that had always looked at me with love were filled with an unknown emotion i couldn't decipher. Was it hate? Was it anger? Was it pain? Or was that the REAL YOU?

[lupa2003]

Again,again and again i am thinking of you. I told my mind to never look back and it won't listen. They surfs through those sweet yet painful memories. And all i can do is to embrace my throbbing heart. I miss you and i want you to have a good life even without me in ur life.There was never a full stop for us, because our story never got the chance to begin. I removed me from ur life as i knw that we will remain as an incomplete story. I hurt you in a way that no one could and your words still echoes in me "The problem with me is that i dont forget things easily". I miss you. I wants to call you and ask how you're doing...whether you've got a girl who deserves your love but i am scared . I am scared that i will be reminding of things u might wanna forget and i am scared that i will get u into mess again ......i am sorry and i miss you .....i cant say it to you ...i can only write it here to relieve my aching heart.

[lupa2003]

"The fact that u are reading this must be because i have already reached heaven....you must be amazed to see the 'me' in those photos that you have surfed in this phone when u took the gallery...and i am pretty sure that this must be the last photo which i left for you if u ever surf through this phone after my retire from this world...the 'me' you are seeing in this phone ain't fake its the real one.And the one who was before you ...was the one you made me into.Marrying you with great expectations was my fault....thought i could change you if i loved u enough was also my fault...thinking that you would lean on me when u feel tired was also my fault...reaching you out my hands even when i know you won't take it was also my fault....thinking that you would try to love me one day just like i am trying to love you was also my fault. I know u will miss me...cuz u never realised that i have become a salient part of your life..u just think everything is happening like the arrival of day and night.You never stops to think what if one day the sun or moon doesn't come out...by the time u realise it, you will be crying ...just like how you are crying now while reading this....."

[lupa2003]

[lupa2003]

[lupa2003]

Out of the blue, our connection sparked with surprising resonance. Yet, amidst our laughter and shared moments, we found ourselves drifting apart, each becoming unattainable to the other. He, burdened by lost hopes, and she, a custodian of life's fragility, engaged in conversations tinged with realization but barred from fruition. He, resigned to chaos, and she, a maestro of levity, found themselves in an intricate dance of emotions. She, once distant from ambiguity, now teetered on the edge of falling again, while he remained steadfast, ever ready to catch her. The question lingered, elusive: where and when would this journey find its conclusion?

[lupa2003]

"She is very sweet". "She is very cute". "How can she soo energetic?". "Wish i could live a life like her". "She is soo care free". "The world is still a playground for her". "She is naive". "She is someone who hasn't seen the reality of world". "I guess the only emotion she has is being happy. I envy her". "She is like an energy booster".

What they don't see is a girl who is naked in her bathroom, sitting on the floor, eyes over flowed with the silent tears, wanted to scream her heart out but unable to, questioning her own choices of life, questioning her own action, being insecure about her own decisions and emotions.....

[lupa2003]

He was beautiful. The kind of cute beauty. His smile was so simple but that strech of lips makes my heart race. I dont know when did my heart starts to beat in an unrythmic way when i see that face. May be when i beat him on shoulder just because i felt to do it. To be honest, when i saw him for the first time i didn't feel this inexplicable emotion even when others said he was crush of lots of girls. It all starts when i began to talk to him. ...When his presence draws my full attention....But when he and i started to communicate we are out there to each others neck. Whenever i see him i will tease him as much as he want to hide. His shy expression make my heart beat even faster than an express. His expressions was never enough for me. Whenever he comes to me we hold hands and squeeze until one of them feel the pain and submit. But after that we just hold hands. I perfectly knows that he see me as a friend but i can't help but feel the butterflies. I know he has a girlfriend and i couldn't be with him. But when he doesn't give me the attention i want my heart depletes like a balloon. Whenever my emotions gets out of control because of him i will shut him out of my heart. But my eyes search ,what my heart yearns.....its just a one sided-crush right?🙂

[lupa2003]

"Will u pick me up? i am here" with an attached photo i sent it to him. Its been almost an year since he came to canada. Its been more than 3 years since we break up. Even though it was me who asked for a break up...its still me who's not over him yet. And he knows it. Don't know if he still love me like i still love him. One thing is sure that i felt like seeing him and here i am. Excitement churns inside me. It took almost 1 hour for him to reach. He called "where are you?" He was panting. I led him to me. To my arms. To my heart. Our eyes met, his feet led him in right direction...heaven or hell? Would he question?..steps advanced,our hands linked, our forehead connects, our heart intertwined. I leave the past, uncare the future and will live in the present. For once i decided to do it. He asked "why the sudden visit?" With a grin i whispered "secret" . One week with him was heaven. Even though we only gets little time because of his schedules....we laughed, we teased, we flirted, we kissed, we hugged ,we cuddled. His hand on my waist and chin on my shoulder, deliberate teasing of his breath, his mischievous tongue everything was delightful but everything has an end. There come my last day. He took a day off from his part time job and we decides to spend the evening in beach. I know i have to tell him otherwise, i dare not to think about it. He knows i want to tell something but he didn't rush. "I don't know what's with this sudden visit but u know... i kinda enjoyed" like a moon his eyes shines with the reflection of sunlight. It sparkles , the sparkle i wish would remain there forever and ever. I looked at the sea and envied the endless waves "Why do u think i suddenly visits you? Why do you think my parents allowed it? Why do you think they allowed me to travel alone to this place of all other places? Why do you think i came here out of all places i can go? " I hugged him and whispered Because...babe i am dying , and to see you was my last wish"

[lupa2003]

Its been a while since we travelled like this. Our 2 bundles of joy and us. Yeah, after a long time we decided to take a day break from our hectic life for a small trip. Its December even though there is no snow fall in our area its still freakingly cold. My Apple and Poppy are soo exited. Yes, its their pet name exclusively for us. Its been amost 8 years with them. Apple is 6 and Poppy is 4. They made a big fuss about their pet name when they started to go to kindergarten but we promised them to keep it as a secret and will only call when no one is around. Our destination was a park since Apple and Poppy can play ....so me and my hubby can spent a little time together. Once we reached ,Apple and Poppy dashed off. Since it was soo cold the park was not crowded. They were with in our eyesight so we let them be. We sat on a bench and began to speak about our golden times. Time to time i would look around to meet the sight of my bundles. But one time i didn't spot them which make my panic mode on. Hubby whispered "hey there sweetheart, they'll be fine okey" as he pats my back. His reassuring was my strength. We began to search them since the park was small. We move towards the thick flow of trees behind the park. We shouted "Apple... Poppy " after 5 min of continuous shouting which felt like an eternity i heard the voice "Mama.. Dada...we're here" we rushed towards the sound and the sight caught my eyes will not be forgetten for the rest of the life time....

[lupa2003]

He studied with her till high-school. Untill then, what pervade between them was just friendship. She doesn't know when did it started ,but when he suggest to start a relationship she agreed afterva month. Was it because that she gets the attention she want from him? Was it because of his care, love, warmth, lust and everything she hope for in a guy?Everything was perfect at first. There has been a lot of things that she got to experience. He showed her a realm that she was not even aware of. Whilst things began to change even without her knowledge, eventually everything becomes numb. What didn't change was his love and care. But she felt suffocated, his care doesn't cure while it weight tons in her heart. Why am i changing? Whats happening?No, i shouldn't hurt him. I cant hurt him. I have to hold on. Yes i can hold on. Just let him in like i used to. Why is it difficult? How can i leave him when there is nothing wrong with him? Is something wrong with me? I have to endure....these thoughts pervades her like a plague. She endured it at her maximum. She smile at him even when she doesn't want to. Because she didn't want to hurt him. But dont forget ,she is also a human. At last she had to shut her heart in front of his face. But why do you think she suddenly lost feelings for a person that she hope to spend a lifetime? Is feeling something u can control? Why do u think feelings changes in a person? Is it her fault that she felt numb? I think she tried her best to hold on.. but she is also a human. Feelings will change at a point of time. But if u can hold on and go on...then its good. But if can't hold on and give up ...its not bad either.

[lupa2003]

Everything started with 'i am sorry' and ended with 'i am sorry' . Only if i knew..... He was in a hurry and knocked into me. Our eyes met, i said sorry. The indifferent green eyes seem to hold lot of stories. The meeting was subtle but the green eyes vividly imprint on my mind. Next time, i was in a coffee shop and there he was holding his espresso. Again our eyes met but the green eyes doesn't seems to have any change and they just brush past mine. Unlike my blue eyes which couldn't hide the surprise and shock by seeing the green one,his was completely serene. Third time , i saw him in library of my university. As the wheel of fate turn, we were destined to see each other again and again. One day i approach him coz whenever i meet the green eyes it make my heart skip a beat. The approach was successful. I thought it was quite easy and smooth. We began to see, talk, and even eat together. His indifferent green eyes began to reveal its lushness. I kept drowning in that beauty even i know how to swim. One day with the thought of proposing him i called him for a date which he agreed quickly. But what awaits me was ......(Continues)

[lupa2003]

First time our eyes met,a smile which is brighter than any colour, which is beautiful than any view,blossomed. As the spark flew, we get connected through social media. Neither of us rejected each other's approach. But it was him who found me, and the 'hi' from him was the beginning of our journey. From strangers to friends, friends to lover. Don't know if he fell for me first,but i fell harder. His smile,warmth of his callus hands on my waist, our crazy time together and everything become what i liked,loved,treasured. I could feel the changes in myself. Sometimes,his presence become more important than my friends. I knew that i am getting more detached from them(frnds) and i let it happen. But later i was able to get them back due to our long distance relation. But,quarrel between us become inevitable. We began to quarrel for every single thing and he couldn't even spare a 5 min for me. I could feel his lack of interest in the chat. One day with all the mustered up courage i asked him"Is it because u are busy or the lack of interest?". As he reply due to 'lack of interest' ,each word weight tons in my mind. As per his suggestion we decide to meet face to face to discuss our issues and i could feel that he is also trying to hold the end of thread just like me...he just don't want to give up without a try. And there was his second chance. We decide to work on us,we decide to give ourselves a second chance. I don't know if its worth or not but still i would try my best to not regret later........

[lupa2003]

Her post: "WHAT DO YOU REGRET MOST IN LIFE?"

She got lots of comments but that was not she was hoping for ,instantly a dm arrives. Her eyes lit up , the dm was," I REGRETS LOOKING AT YOU, I REGRET SMILING AT YOU, I REGRET COMING CLOSE TO YOU, I REGRET ACCOMPANYING YOU, I REGRET LOVING YOU, I REGRET HOLDINGS YOUR HANDS, I REGRET KISSING YOUR FORHEAD, I REGRET CUDDLING WITH YOU.....

Seeing the forever regrets she knew that she has accomplished what she wants. Accompanied by the beeping sound of machines, supporting her life she knew she doesn't have much time. The tears filled with pain slowly slides down, she knew he hates her as much as she loves him and even if she goes he could move on...thats what she wishes for ......

But she fails to notice the person outside her room,through glasses, looking at her tear filled face, wanting to wipe them but can't .The look he give was nothing like regrets instead it felt like gladness. He was glad that he could meet her ,love her, accompany her. The hatchet of fate was able to bring her down but their love for each other lives with in them. It was eternal...FOREVER AND EVER...

[lupa2003]

[lupa2003]

She was alone. No, she was not. She was accomponied by the wailing of wind. She was depressed but it goes unnoticed. She was wandering. Straight away,she saw him. The previously obscured eyes become incredibly apparent. Its radiance cannot be compared. It reflected hope.....life... Every stride he takes illuminates her countenance further. Previously lifeless hands were regenerated with fervor to embrace his warmth. However, her visage instantaneously froze as he transit through her, accepting the affection of another individual standing behind, leaving her chilled to the core. A heart-wrenching chuckle slipped from her lips, whispering '999th time.' She carried on as a soulless body, devoid of joy. Ironically, she was a bodiless soul, aged over 1000 years........(continues)