mazelicious - Tumblr blog

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BIRTHDAY!!!

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Hotch: You know those things will kill you, right?

Emily, pouring another glass of tequila: That’s the point.

Tara, smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process.

Penelope: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*

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Reid: Isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other people?

Penelope: Plane tickets?

JJ: Concert tickets?

Emily: Stippers?

Reid holding his broken frames: Glasses.

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Emily: *Screams*

Derek: *Screams louder to assert dominance*

JJ: Should we do something?!

Hotch, observing: No, I want to see who wins this.

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Rossi: Why are your tongues purple?

JJ: We had slushies. I had a blue one.

Emily: I had a red one.

Rossi: oh

Rossi:

Rossi: OH

Reid:

Reid: You drank each other's slushies?

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*emily is cooking*

JJ: Any chance that’s for me?

Emily: It’s for hotch. I’m planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need him on my side.

Derek: I never realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment.

Hotch: Emily you can't cook.

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Emily: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!

Derek: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

Emily: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING JJ WITH ME

Hotch, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

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Barbie movie did in fact make me cry

WHAT ABOUT IT?!

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Most unfortunate moment I ever had was when I heard Emily explain Lauren Reynolds to Reid in a panic.

GIRLFRIEND EMILY HAS A GIRLFRIEND OMG CANON LESPRENTITS

Yeah Lauren Reynolds was certainly not Em's girlfriend.

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Tutorial:

So first you're going to make sure only your mom is home, because you're still terrified of telling your father.

Next make sure she's a few glasses of wine into the experience.

Then you're gonna watch a very queer movie with her and carefully watch her reaction.

Tell her.

If all goes according to plan she won't remember in the morning or just never bring it up again and still ask you about your boyfriends.

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Please Reblog is Your Blog is Safe for Non-Binary People.

If my mutuals can’t rb this then we can’t be mutuals

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What movies will the BAU be seeing?

Hotch: Oppenheimer but he's seeing Barbie against his will.

Rossi: Oppenheimer but he secretly wants to see both.

Penelope: Barbie

Luke: Barbie

Derek: Barbie

Tara: Oppenheimer then Barbie

Reid: Is only reading the movie scripts

Alex: Barbie then Oppenheimer

Emily: Oppenheimer then Barbie

JJ: She is going to watch Barbie but she will be sneaking into Oppenheimer for the Florence Pugh scene. Elle is in on it.

Elle: Barbie

Gideon: Does not believe in movies.

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Reid episodes are so funny cause I know these writers are the most sadistic of sadists like let my boy catch a break

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Elle Greenaway JJ and Spencer Reid is the throuple love triangle we needed but weren't ready for 🫡

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Criminal Minds finally had a four women to three men ratio so they just added another guy like seriously is this a joke

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Where is the Lesbian tag?

WHERE IS IT TUMBLR?!

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Criminal seriously trying to convince me Emily is straight mhm we're talking about

Emily Pretiss? Em I Love Yourtits?! yeah I didn't think so