mellamasopa

[mellamasopa]

EXCITING NEWS!:

I just wrote the first chapter of the novel I’m working on!

She’s still very much a work in progress and I have lots of plot work left and editing to do and many many more pages to write.

But I am so excited and I can’t wait to have a finished project one day!

[mellamasopa]

Dreamcatcher:

Intertwined with sparkling beads, fragile as spiders silk

High above my head like a halo

A beacon of light, a protector, a silent watcher

Pluck the rainbow whispers from my mind,

Swirling magic visions of other worlds, other timelines, other lives

Sifting through the pretty pictures for spots of grey

Trapped to your twine like the nasty speck of a despairing fly.

While I stir, ever the restless sleeper, wishing for sweet things and forgotten dreams that run like rabbits from my grasp in the day time

I only ask one thing

Take with you, won’t you,

The softer memories that visit me in the nighttime?

The visions of hazel eyes and gentle touches

The sound of the lightest laughter and guitar strings in a green field

Of clasped hands and beating hearts

Of tender kisses and whispered secrets

Could you?

Take them up into your trap quickly, carefully, gently

Before those lovely visions of mine turn cold and dark and grey

Save me from the dreams that couldn’t come true

[mellamasopa]

There’s a reason why mold is sweet

Sweetness is more jarring than the bite of something unpleasant

It fills the senses

It stains the teeth

It plagues the mind

Leaving behind a sickly echo that clings to your clothes after it’s gone

Mold doesn’t let you forget

Doesn’t let you drink from the same cup again

Even if it’s clean

[mellamasopa]

A rabbits heart

A wolf’s mouth

An open wound

Spilling from my ribs

Dripping onto the cool moss floor

A silent wood

No birds

No hidden spectators

No one waiting to feast on the loser’s flesh

Like hungry carrion

Only the quick silent claws

Tearing into my skin and then retreating before I can feel their sting

The Hunter is masterful

The Hunter is afraid

Afraid that if his teeth do not fall fast enough—

He will starve

He will ache

He will long.

Long for the prey that ran far and swift the moment his jaws back out of reach

This prey is different

This prey is wrong

The rabbit stands there waiting

She looks ahead with tired eyes

She wonders

Maybe I have been doing things all wrong

Maybe if I wait, until the wolf grows tired

Maybe he will lie with me

Rest here in the moss

Tending to our battered bodies

Maybe we could sleep

And dream of a life where we can never go hungry

But wolves do not dream

And rabbits do not wait forever.

[mellamasopa]

I saw two yellow monarchs today

Nestled into the grass

Bodies dry and fragile from the almost-summer heat

The first was laying by the roadside, in the overgrown grass with the discarded beer cans

I picked her up

As gently as I could

And placed her next to a pair of bright yellow buttercups

Laid to sleep next to her sisters

I was happy today

Happier than I’ve been in a long time

I feel at peace

At rest

Content

I think I’m headed down the right path

The butterflies told me so

[mellamasopa]

I just really love my boyfriend

His eyes are the loveliest things I have ever gazed into. A soft hazel, with bits of green and brown intermingled like moss clinging to the trunk of a tall oak. Rich and raw and beautiful. When he looks at me the world fades away into nothing. We are no longer sitting in a room together. We are lost in the unwritten language the two of us have created. As if my soul is being poured out of my body and emptied into his open hands. Understanding sinks into my chest and I smile. A conversation without words. 

[mellamasopa]

Her smile is made of wildflowers. Of daisy chains and baby’s breath. Her hair is braided River reeds, long and golden in the fading daylight. Her bones are built of twig and twine, fragile on their own but strong when tied in bundles. Her eyes shimmer. Rays of light reflect off of smooth white chunks of quartz. Lying in her earthen chest is a makeshift heart of moss. The earth becomes her. She is a lovely scarecrow standing still and alone in a quiet forest. But instead of scaring visitors away, she lies in wait. Arms up to the sky inviting the company of crows to pluck the shiny stones from her eyes and her wooden bones to carry home for their nests. For she is lonely in these trees, but at least she can give all she is back to the forest from whence she was born.

[mellamasopa]

God I miss the Sun

Summer air dancing on sunkissed skin.

It’s almost that time again, do you feel it?

Standing here, remembering what it’s like to breathe.

The future’s right in front of me, do you see it?

[mellamasopa]

Curse the mean little bugs that live in my brain!

Eating all of my short term memories and telling me all of my loved ones hate me past 9pm—

So rude! 🐛🪳😤

[mellamasopa]

Cricket:

I have never known how to sit still

Constantly jumping from

place to place

person to person

concept to dream

Each moment fleeting

blurring behind me as time eats away at the edges of my memory

“Where are you running to?”

They whisper

Where am I running from?

Before I can stop and ask myself the question my legs are already taught, already poised to jump

Like muscle memory my body leans into the feeling, the desperate need to run

To carry myself farther and faster than my thoughts

To leap away from the imaginary predators that haunt me, stalk me

I have never known how to sit still

The grass is always greener on the other side

Until I get there and the lawn is unsaturated and the flowers are wilting and the soil is dry and aching

I could not begin to know how to tend my own garden and yet every new patch of grass I find is

Wrong

Uncomfortable

Unworthy

I am hungry for a sense of calm I have never known

Searching for a perfect escape that simply does not exist

How many times will I flee before I finally allow myself to rest?

[mellamasopa]

"Do You Feel Better Now?"

I don't usually make political posts but in honor of my Arts & Social Change class, I have some thoughts:

A month into Trump’s America, and already, so much has changed. In less than 100 days, he has signed over 70 executive orders—breaking a 40-year record. He entered office on a high note, "saving TikTok" from its ban, painting himself as a hero while protecting the very platform he once sought to eliminate.

Throughout his candidacy, Trump expanded his fan base beyond the usual coalition of blue-collar Gen X workers and wealthy billionaires, drawing in younger, more diverse supporters—including figures like transgender YouTuber and political commentator Blaire White. But to the women, POC, and LGBTQ+ individuals who supported his presidency—how do you feel about his actions since taking office?

On January 20th, he declared that U.S. policy would only recognize two sexes, mandating that government-issued documents must "accurately reflect the holder's sex." This effectively strips millions of passport holders of the right to change their recorded gender to match their identity, dragging the country backward in acceptance, freedom, and personal choice. Trump calls this “Restoring Biological Truth.”

His administration’s attack on inclusion doesn’t stop there. That same day, he signed an order to eliminate all diversity, equity, inclusion, and accessibility programs across the federal government, revising union contracts and employment policies to ensure their removal. It terminates all government positions related to DEI. If you have a disability, protections ensuring accessibility—such as policies requiring wheelchair-friendly government buildings—are no longer guaranteed.

And if you think none of this affects you, think again.

Trump has withdrawn the U.S. from the Paris Agreement, abandoning climate goals aimed at reducing greenhouse gas emissions. He has also announced plans to pull the country from the World Health Organization. On January 23rd, he instructed officials to remove regulatory barriers on Artificial Intelligence, effectively revoking previous safeguards designed to keep AI development “safe, secure, and trustworthy.”

Then, on January 24th, he signed an order revoking two of Biden’s executive actions on abortion access. These orders had aimed to protect clinic and pharmacy safety, expand access through Medicaid, and improve research on reproductive health. With a stroke of a pen, those protections are gone.

I highlight these actions not to claim that every order he has signed is inherently harmful, but to underscore the reality: many of his decisions directly impede the well-being, access to resources, and inclusion of millions of Americans.

To those who voted for Trump, drawn in by the illusion of progress—convinced he would solve all of our problems—do you feel better now?

[mellamasopa]

I don’t think I have a single Chalant bone in my body…

[mellamasopa]

Writer realization:

I don’t think I like my main character very much.

If I don’t like my main character…how can I expect the readers to like my main character?…

Anyways, time to maybe deconstruct and re-write my entire story?

[mellamasopa]

Shaking, grasping at your shadow as it slips beneath the door

Heart thudding loud and fast against my chest echoing in time with your departing footsteps

You’re coming back

You only left the room to get a glass of water

But a screaming battered voice in the back of my mind is waiting for the day someone will actually hear her

they will tell her that she was right, that nothing good lasts longer than a moment

That no one ever really stays, not like how you found them

I watch from my bed, pleading with her to silence her fearful cries as the kitchen light turns on

Casting a soft glow through the cracks in the doorway

And for a moment I wonder if every moment we share is a pretty daydream

The light goes dark again

Ice cubes click merrily against a moving glass

You’re coming back

This time is different

It has to be

[mellamasopa]

When I am alone I am gentle

I am the softest of souls

When it is just me and the ground beneath my feet and the sweet summer air that I breathe, I am a tamed beast

When I am alone there is peace and my chest does not feel heavy

A beaten dog does not bare their teeth without reason

[mellamasopa]

Remember when you were more than a body? Before someone taught you to feel valued only when you’re close were piled on the floor..

[mellamasopa]

It’s kinda funny

When we used to share a pillow at night

After tossing and turning

And finally falling to rest under the tv light

I used to dream about being anywhere else

Being someone that you’ve never known

Seeing places that we’d never go

But I dreamt of you last night

The first time in a very long while

And I woke up almost thinking I’d turn over and see you

I still remember the way you smiled at me in that dream

Almost but not quite as sweetly as you did when we were real