mindfulnessann

[mindfulnessann]

What's your healing progress?

The following comments/reviews are my anxiety healing progress from the month of March to June 2025.

The link provided redirects you to my Life Coach's website. I often do a monthly one-on-one life coaching session to help with my anxiety. However, for the month of July, I took a leap of faith and traveled to the other side of the world instead, for me to find myself on my own and to heal the parts of me that needed healing.

Soon enough, I will be posting the details of my transformative journey that lead me to the present - a better state, mentally and emotionally. I'm also currently on a journey to find the right pace and routines that'll work for me after a month of just being free.

Not the easiest journey but we'll definitely get there. *wink wink*

[mindfulnessann]

CAUTION: Sensitive Topic

Read to continue. *Originally posted on 19 June 2023

One thing that I learned in my 20s is that, our body is ever changing. It will never be the same as the body you once had as a teenager nor as age progresses.

Be it gaining muscles or some healthy "fats" - embrace the change. After all..

Your body is art.

[mindfulnessann]

Remember, it is not impossible. Art by @enii_draws

[mindfulnessann]

And so does healing.

themindofmary

[mindfulnessann]

What is your Anxiety Story?

Here's mine..

Earlier this year, I had my very first accident, which shook the entirety of the safe world that was created with my upbringing. Never did I think that traumas long kept and forgotten would resurface again along with my anxiety. I previously had a panic attack when I moved to Tagaytay, but that one-time experience is incomparable to what I had gone through in the past 5 months.

I was a mess, and sometimes still am. I felt that I was going crazy countless times. I was scared of almost everything, especially regarding my safety and the unknown. My body shakes randomly throughout the day. I cried daily. I can no longer focus even on the most mundane task. I was not my usual self - unhappy and no longer enjoyed the present moment.

First, I tried to keep things to myself. Deal with my anxiety on my own and not be labelled and defined as someone I am not. But it made things harder. Then, I started speaking up about it, though still ashamed of what I was going through. *I am no longer ashamed of what I went through. I am determined to share my story, hoping that it can inspire and reach the right people.

My journey was made easier by my patient and very understanding support system. Without my partner and his family's understanding, I would not have made any progress. I was also blessed enough to have known people who went through the same things I did, and they had helped me be more open about my anxiety.

Intentional Self-Healing does not mean you have to do it on your own; you can also seek support when needed.

There were moments where I wanted to perish, and that scared me. I never had those kinds of thoughts previously, but during that time, it seemed like it was the quickest way to stop things. To stop my crying. To stop being a bother to others whenever I had my attacks.

I wanted to heal badly and quickly. I honestly thought I would in a snap. However, in reality, it does not happen that way.

I was impatient at first, but eventually I found my own pace. It took me two months to tone things down and having that will and drive to heal is something that will keep you going.

It took me a lot of tries to find what worked for me. I spontaneously traveled across the world to reconnect with myself. To heal what needed to be healed.

Of course, I had my ups and downs throughout - but those bumps in the road? Lead me to the now.

Today, I can say that I am better. I feel better. But I also chose to feel this way. Finally, I am now able to find joy in the everyday.

[mindfulnessann]

#InMy20s

One thing that I learned in my 20s is that our body is ever changing.

It will never be the same as the body you once had as an adolescent. You change as age progresses. Be it gaining muscles or having healthy "fats", embrace the change. After all, your body is art. 😌

[mindfulnessann]

Indeed, mental illness can look different every day of the week.

I for one had gone through this kind of highs and lows. It may seem hopeless, messy, and confusing most times, but there will also be moments that you can actually breathe and have the power to climb out of the deep end.

To those that feel alone in this journey, know that YOU ARE NOT.

It is my greatest wish that somehow, in some way, this blog may reach the right people who need this most.

Credits: CrazyHeadComics

[mindfulnessann]

KORONA [noun] crown; wreath; corona A crown tattoo to commemorate an unexpected win.

To this date, out of all the pageants I've competed in and titles I've accumulated throughout the years, Miss Sta. Babe moved me most.

Being the first candidate to make it into the Top 3 was my most vulnerable moment, captured on film and witnessed by everyone that night. During the first segment, I was neither the Darling of the Crowd nor everyone's bet to win. I did what I usually do, but during the first Q&A (not given), I truly believed I did well, but not well enough to get me through the next round, only bagging the Miss Congeniality award.

Fast forward to the Final Q&A, which was a Back-to-Zero basis and still not given, I did my best, made up what I had lost and bounced back up again. Gladly, this time, I made a good and on-point answer. I was able to best two very strong contenders with little to no preparation through calmness within, clarity to think things through, burning hope and trust in myself.

Since then, in whatever I do, I no longer have any expectations and instead focus on enjoying every moment to make the most of it. Top 3 Final Question: What difference have you made with your platform? Here's my winning answer: I believe I am the epitome of change and growth. Back in high school, I was bullied because of my body size leading me to lose my self-confidence. It made me decide to change myself and improve myself for the better. With that being said, I've proven, you can be who you want to be as long you truly believe yourself and you put your heart to it. Thank you.

Miss Sta Babe Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxRrIwF1XuU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4o3fjbXpLI --

Miss Sta. Babe Handler: Kristala Davis

Tattoo Artist: Keo Labe of Lakra Tinta Tattoo

[mindfulnessann]

In case someone needs this today. <3

[mindfulnessann]

During my shoot, I was asked if I'd like to remove my tattoos on the final output. I outright said NO.

At the moment, I have 21 pieces and bits of my life inked on me. Each of which speaks volumes of who and what I am as a person.

My tattoos don't only tell my story but they are a part of me. Once a point of my life, a stage of certainty and uncertainty, a reminder, an expression, a tribute. They are reflections of the past, the present and the future me.

I've previously competed 17 times with no single form of body art on me, but not this time. Today, I may no longer conform to the societal norm of what a beauty queen should be, however, my tattoos are my strength, my uniqueness that makes me, ME.

Antonette, 26 Proud Inked Beauty Queen

-- Photo: @bagsikphotography Glam Team: Kristala Davis & Maxell Ablong Gown: Gerry Fernandez Nails: @spicynails.bymia

[mindfulnessann]

How do I cope up with my anxiety? Through books! Here's my Instagram Account, which is mainly dedicated for books but also has bits and pieces of my life.

https://www.instagram.com/amihanbyann/

QOTD: How do you cope with your anxiety? Let me know below.

[mindfulnessann]

themindofmary

[mindfulnessann]

What inspired @mindfulnessann? Here's my background story.

-- "I choose peace over anxiety."

Today, I got into my very first accident in which I contemplated posting about. However, this is me trying to make peace of what happened.

Tonie, the dogs, and I were on the way home from work when a moose ran across the road and hit us. It was the Hönetorp moose, one that has been wandering around our area. We just passed the 90 Speed Sign and was about to turn left in 200 meters, which made the impact strong. Thankfully, today we drove the Chrysler instead of my practice car, Doris, a Citroen C3 which is currently on service in preparation for a trip. (Everything happens for a reason as it seems. The Universe listens!)

I was just sitting quietly, planning the night ahead, and BAM! A moose bounced on the windshield, glass shattered all over and then, stillness. I automatically checked on the dogs, then Tonie who was already trying to get in contact with the authorities and was also talking to the passers-by that were checking on us. (Humanity is still alive, thankfully.)

My very first question out loud was, "Is the moose okay?" There was no body on the ditch nor blood, though I know it was hurt just by looking at the car. My heart got wrenched even more when I learned that the hunters will be tracking the moose and that it was not alone. There were actually two of them roaming around together and were trying to get to the other side of the forest. I have no idea if it was a mother-baby duo or a pair. Either way, my heart breaks for both of them.

I am okay physically except for the tiny wound due to the shattered glass. But mentally and emotionally? I am not. At least not yet. I was shaking at the side of the road, either from the coldness or from the panic I was feeling inside. Perhaps both. My teeth were chattering which I really tried not to do as it was just 5-days post my temporary-crown appointment. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't shed a tear or two. I was probably in shock. Then, all the what ifs came..

After a long, warm shower and 13 minutes of Calming Affirmations, I summed up the following lessons I gathered from this experience:

1. Life is really unpredictable. Enjoy it as much as you can.

2. Make memories everyday even with the tiniest, silliest thing.

3. Never take your loved ones for granted.

4. Always say ¨I love you¨ even if they don't say it back.

5. Have time for yourself as to not have regrets.

6. Practice gratitude and always remember to be grateful.

7. Choose your car wisely. Weigh out your pros and cons properly.

8. Have patience with yourself. 20250607

9. It's okay to be vulnerable. It's okay to be messy. You and your mental health matters. 20250607

10. Living in fear is tiresome. Never let fear control your life. 20250607

11. Be brave. Strive to live fearlessly. 20250607

(I'll probably add more later on.)

At the moment, I am apprehensive about continuing my driving lessons and getting my license, but hopefully in time, I will no longer feel this way.

Things could have turn out worst than it did, which made Tonie and I very grateful that we, including the dogs got out of the accident almost completely unscathed. I'll most likely wear my emotional scars out of my sleeve in the next few days, other than that I am just thankful to be alive.

Please stay safe and don't forget to give yourself and your loved ones a big, tight hug.

- Ann, 20250219

**I have a hard time dealing and processing post-accident emotions and grief ever since losing my grandmother from a vehicular accident.

***I grew up very sheltered and overly protected so the incident really affected me in many ways.

Update: 20250220 It was not an elk but rather a moose about 2 meters high excluding the horns and around 500 kilos in weight.

P.S: After this incident, my anxiety started. My childhood and past traumas resurfaced and up to this date, I'm still healing. I meet up with a life-coach on a monthly basis and does mindfulness practices at home. Three months later, most times I feel great, but there are also times where I'm down. It comes in waves. And honestly, I sometimes forget to do my routines too.

My goal for this month is to be in tune with my routines and to have a more balanced, grounded self once more . Like what my partner said this morning, "Healing is a never-ending process." 20250607

[mindfulnessann]

June is men's mental health awareness month. Check in on your friends and family. You never know what they might be going through.

[mindfulnessann]

Welcome to Mindfulness Ann: A Journey of Healing and Self-Rediscovery

Through this blog, I will share my anxiety story, how I dealt with it, my ongoing healing process and how I re-discovered myself through mindfulness practices. Updates and posting schedule will be on a weekly basis. In this fast-paced, modern world, I truly believe that everyone deserves to have some clarity, peace, and calmness in their lives. Thus, finding time to practice mindfulness through breathwork, arts, dance, lifestyle, and even mundane things in life is very essential for a better overall well-being.

Disclaimer: If you are currently experiencing mental health concerns, please seek professional help from a licensed psychologist or mental health professional.