So I have some hilarious news… 🏳️⚧️
Getting older I think I’m just realising that everything I take for granted about myself is just… incorrect.
Past Me: “I have so many crushes. On everyone. I’m like super pansexual” (is asexual)
Past Me: “I have no energy, I can’t have adhd.” (Literally has adhd. Not even the inattentive strain, the hyperactive strain.)
Past Me: “I haven’t cried in years, which means I have complete control over my emotions.” (Is depressed. Has severe anxiety. Constantly dissociating because of extreme emotions.)
Past Me: “I have high-functioning Autism. Most of my symptoms barely exist. Honestly, it’s probably just disappeared over time.” (Has a breakdown every 4 months.)
At this point the only thing I’m certain about is… suspiciously side eyes my gender identity.
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Will really spun all that bullshit about killing with his hands being preferable because it’s more “intimate” just cause he can’t shoot for shit
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Was just told I focused too much on minor obscure aspects of a text to properly analyse it. If that’s not an Autism diagnosis I don’t know what is.
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This is exactly what I was talking about!! I have no idea how common it is, only some of the Autistic people I know have said they experience this, but that’s the case with a lot of Autism lol, nothing’s really consistent.
Also, when I was younger I was told mine was anger issues! But this sat wrong with me because anger issues usually stem from a sense of entitlement (ie. I deserve better than this, how could this person do this to me) which was not my experience of it. I conceive of mine as a more frustration kind of anger. There are things people are doing that are hurting me sensory wise and I can’t change it, so I feel trapped and highly frustrated.
But your experience of it may be different, and Autistic people often do deserve better treatment, so the entitlement kind of anger is usually justified in the first place. It’s just directed at the wrong thing.
An unfortunate repercussion of the infantilisation of Autistic people in media is that we rarely see the autism anger. Not like meltdowns (because that’s not anger y’all that’s overload) like legitimate just anger at people. For existing.
You talk to a person and it overwhelms you purely because it’s socialisation and you want them dead. Just so you don’t have to talk to them again. You fantasise different ways they could die. Could you get away with their murder?
Brownie points if this is shown with coworkers or customers.
… Spock is excluded from this critique. You can tell he’s planning his coworkers deaths (affectionate). And Will Graham; he’s definitely planning his coworkers deaths (derogatory)
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Emotionally Regulating be like:
Good news! You completed step 1 and recognised you were emotionally unregulated.
Bad news! Yo Narrator what was step 2 again? Narrator??
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Clearly it’s establishing clinician-client boundaries, so there is no emotional transference and a healthy relationship between the two. Which worked so well.
(Technically that is supposed to be established by the therapist, not the client, but Hannibal was too busy simping hey, collaborative practice.)
Listen I am studying Will and Hannibal's therapy sessions cause it helps with what I need to recap for my exams but i can't identify which type of therapy consists of "reassure your therapist that he is indeed your therapist and you are not just having conversations"
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I'm begging you to take this quiz oh my god
i thought it would be easy but only my 2 and a bit years of absorbing dialogue from gifs and rewatches got me through
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Toxic family member: I feel like I’m walking on eggshells around you!
Me: Whatever eggshells you’re walking on are the wrong goddamn eggshells
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Day 1 of writing a better Harry Potter tv show than JK Rowling (not a hard task tbh)
Starting our protagonist Ashvryn and antagonist Tom Riddle (they did not, in fact, get off on the wrong foot).
Set in the 1940s, it will hopefully explain why Voldemort is being such a dumbass in the books. Has a bit of expansion on Neville’s grandmother, Augusta, too. Minerva moonlights in it. As canon compliant as I feel emotionally.
Introduction [here]. Page 1.
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Went on Ritalin for the first time today and had the very intriguing realisation that if I was just Autistic I would rarely speak. I speak to seek dopamine. My dopamine needs were met and so I just, didn’t want to talk. Literally had to force myself to. Found it very overwhelming with no upsides. Wow
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