nightbusmessages

[nightbusmessages]

3 hours of horrible sleep left me with the divine revelation of a character so in love with the King's interrogator that they keep committing crimes worthy of being tortured just to feel their touch.

Character A (suspended from the ceiling by cuffs, dripping in their own blood)

Character B (pressing the handle of a whip under their chin): will you tell me now why you let yourself get caught

Character A: will you torture me more if I don't?

Character B (whispering in their ear): is this what gets you going? Being tortured?

Character A (eyes blown wide): will you- what would you do to find out?

Character B (growing aroused at the sight of Character A's arousal): shall I bring someone here to enhance your experience?

Character A (terrified and writhing in their chains): NO! Wait! Don't, please! Don't go, don't.

Character B (dropping the whip in concern, unlocking the cuffs and gently lowering Character A to the floor): stop, you're hurting yourself. I won't go, ok? Calm down.

Character A (reaching out to touch Character B but holding back): Stay?

Character B (feeling his heart drop to his stomach, cupping Character A's face to look at him): You do like the pain, don't you?

Character A (sobs and wraps their arms around themselves): Will you stay if I say yes?

[nightbusmessages]

Delighted by the discovery that Americans are unaware that Ikea furniture names are just words in a foreign language.

[nightbusmessages]

Will you tell me you love me, just once? I need to feel the pain of desire clashing with the desire for lies. Pour your honeyed poison in my ear until it coats my brain with sticky sweetness, hurt me or I'll be forced to hurt myself. Drown me so I do not drown alone, but drown I must.

[nightbusmessages]

" Legend foretells that the sacred child born between the holy princess and the dragon god will defeat the cursed wicked witch."

"The witch was cursed? What was the curse?"

"-"

"It was being turned into a dragon wasn't it?"

[nightbusmessages]

Imagine a world where the wolf study that birthed the alpha omega stereotype was done on kangaroos instead. Did you know female kangaroos have 2 vaginas and 2 different uteruses so they can be pregnant with half twins. That the reason their babies are so small is that the pee hole is in-between the vaginas so they cannot expand much without risking crushing their pee hole and the babies have to be small enough to fit through a basically undilated opening. Did you know? Did you know? The inside of their pouches are fleshy and have mammary glands. Imagine finding out you're an omega and developing a milky flesh pouch. Imagine how it would change the modern kink landscape. "Is it my baby or his? Surprise it's both 😃."

[nightbusmessages]

If crunchyroll is going to show me 20 ads and episode do they have to show me the same ad every time. I've memorized that creepy Nintendo anime horror game ad by now.

[nightbusmessages]

English bluebells look like bento sausage octopi

[nightbusmessages]

If you can't develop anorexia on your own store bought is fine.

[nightbusmessages]

Why have I only just discovered Benedict Cumberbatch was doing an American accent in doctor strange. I thought they just cast him as himself and the weird arrogance was what happened when you looked that weird and were still considered hot.

[nightbusmessages]

Percy Jackson going on all of his quests with a 10 litre backpack full of plastic water bottles and everyone thinks he's insane until he gets stabbed in the heart, empties a bottle on his chest and is right as rain 10 seconds later. Immortality dupe.

[nightbusmessages]

Life is a nightmare and I am but a puppet in the maw of my own bones.

[nightbusmessages]

DnD character idea 1

You are the product of years of selective breeding and planning and sacrifice by the religion worshiping death which has resulted in the birth of the child of the prophesy, conceived in a ritual chamber during an apocalypse, birthed at the moment of eclipse: the avatar of the God Hades.

The only problem is you are absolutely the most disappointing child born to your family in generations. The black sheep of your family. When you first cried all the flowers in the city bloomed to comfort you. You trail glitter and sunshine wherever you walk. Head cheerleader dressed head to toe in barbie pink; all of your points are in charisma.

Your horrible hidden secret is that you are the avatar of Hades. The flowers bloom because you are accelerating their life cycle, the glitter is just how normal people perceived the spirits that stalk you and you glow because you want to and it pisses off your family to have their darkness disrupted so thoroughly.

Now you know that death is your thing and you could tell your community about your deadly powers but at this point your refusing to conform to their expectations out of pure spite.

[nightbusmessages]

A dnd game set in Ireland in the winter so every round you have to take a perception check to see black ice and a dex throw to see if you fall on it. If you nat 1 dex you cannot move at all for that round. Imagine the chaos of a game where you don't have dex on the character sheet so all you're other stats are op but movement is basically impossible.

[nightbusmessages]

A headcanon I have is that doctor who and avengers exist in the same universe so Londoners and new Yorkers are always bonding online about how annoying alien based car insurance is and how frequently they have to work in makeshift offices cause their main office is permanently wrecked by some supernatural bullshit

[nightbusmessages]

You're all secret cardinals now

[nightbusmessages]

"I could fix him" girly I could show him the common tongue and use him as a distraction while I defied the gods

[nightbusmessages]

Slap a bitch eat a KitKat