octipuff - Tumblr blog

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Neo-traditional style tattoo design of Gimli’s iconic quote. ♥

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Keep forgetting to post here. Also, haven’t really been posting much art in general anywhere, but here’s a thing I did a  few months back. I dubbed it ‘Inner Monologue’

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I haven't always looked like this. But THIS has always been inside me. For years, I've worked really hard, in my own way, to be.. palatable. To be.. fuckable. To be wanted by dudes. Which was the currency I thought you had to have as a woman to have value. Devoting a large part of my energy to trying to be palatable hid light within me that I didn't know was there until I stopped trying to be digestible for other people. I am deeply insecure, and I have a lot of shit to work through. But I fucking ACCEPT my insecurities. And I fucking ACCEPT my light. The feeling of being held back by invisible rules of how girls should be, that you're never really told but you somehow ingest, there are much worse things in this world.. but that doesn't negate the fact that the feeling of those rules stifled who I am. But I am grateful for it. Because if I have never been stifled I wouldn't be aware.. of how good it feels now to be FREE. Some people don't digest me. But my life and my body and my light aren't here to make those people feel comfortable. It's here for me to SHINE.

Emilia Fart Youtube Video

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Oh shit, Naughty Dog posted my art! 😍😍😍

I did this back in 2014, but just ran across this share page on my mission to uncover more information about the next TLoU game! Wish I had gone back and fixed Ellie’s arm, but I still love how this one turned out. Ellie and Riley were forces to be reckoned with, I was very satisfied with experiencing Riley’s brief character arch. It was nice to kind of goof around at parts, like when they were in the Halloween store. Btw, I’m still waiting on a buyable replica of Skeleseer! ;D 

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SUBTLE ART OF NOT GIVING A F*CK

These two passages are from near the beginning and end of the book. Read together is a beautiful message.

“Everything worthwhile in life is won through surmounting the associated negative experience. Any attempt to escape the negative, to avoid it or quash it or silence it, only backfires. The avoidance of suffering is a form of suffering. The avoidance of struggle is a struggle. The denial of failure is a failure. Hiding what is shameful is itself a form of shame.

Pain is an inextricable thread in the fabric of life, and to tear it out is not only impossible but destructive: attempting to tear it out unravels everything else with it. To try to avoid pain is to give too many fucks about pain. In contrast, if you’re able to not give a fuck about the pain, you become unstoppable."

“Here's something that's weird but true: we don't actually know what a positive or negative experience is. Some of the most difficult and stressful moments of our lives also end being the most formative and motivating. Some of the best and most gratifying experiences of our lives are also the most distracting and demotivating. Don't trust your conception of positive or negative experiences. All that we know for certain is what hurts in the moment and doesn't. That's not worth much.“

There’s so much more. The book goes into examples of how we perceive certain moments as good or bad, and how they can be perceived the opposite depending on slight changes. He really deconstructs what our brains are doing and how they really aren’t consistent at all in what makes us happy and miserable. Knowing is half the battle. (G.I. Jooooee)

It’s a rather short book, give it a go if you have an open moment. I found audiobooks (Audible is best) fit perfectly in car rides and lunch breaks.It’s kind of wonderful how many avid readers come out of the woodwork because they have a format that works better for them, also a recent study proved that our brains don’t interpret spoken word any different than reading it.

So get your read on! 

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#legochallenge?! Hell yes. Maybe one day I'll get my hands on an actual yellow jumpsuit! 🤣

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This picture is now 6 years old! :O I still have the save on my xbox 360, lovingly uploaded to a USB and moved between three consoles and two states. Dren is my first Skyrim character, a Dark Elf with thief-like tendencies and an affinity for whatever current high-defense light armor she could find (you can see little details of her wearing elven armor here). 

Dren had short red hair, insanely pale skin (”You look rather pale” 24/7), one blood red eye and one white eye, and dark red warpaint down both sides. Never finished that playthrough, but I did recreate her later on in Skyrim:SE on PC. Initially, I made Orchid, who was an Imperial with snow-white skin and a different pattern of warpaint in dark purple, and white hair. But she visited a special someone under Riften and discovered her old identity... ;)

@bethesda Thank you for the literal years of entertainment. I enjoy getting people involved with Skyrim, now with the renewed opportunity thanks to the Special Edition. New fanart coming soon. 💙🐉❄️

OH SHIT, I FORGOT I HAVE A SHITTY PHOTO OF MY CHARACTER! BEHOLD:

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#skyrimspecialedition getting real. Nice little bit of motivation from an Argonian living the rough life on the docks. @bethesda gets it.

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Bioshock; The Jolly Plasmid

I may have entered this too late but I thought it was fun to do so I want to save it here! There was a contest yesterday for coming up with a holiday plasmid for a contest being run on the Bioshock facebook page. Here is what I wrote:

The Southern Mall in Fort Frolic was absolutely buzzing with traffic. All the gents and ladies dressed in their holiday finest, breezing from store to store to find gifts for their children. But I was after the plasmid, oh yes. The latest plasmid. Dubbed aptly “The Holiday Plasmid of your Dreams!” on every sign from here to Olympus Heights. The posters featured a handsome man changing into the big red guy, our good ol' Santa Claus. You could get any gift you want from Fort Frolic, but nothing will compare to bringing home Santa Claus. I walked through thick clouds of tobacco smoke to see the illuminated neon signs I was looking for, FONTAINE PLASMIDS MINI SHOPPE, aglow in a red hue that made the customers shopping beneath it already look like they were transforming into the bearded chap. In the center of the tiny pop up shop was a single round table holding a single plasmid on top of it. The bottle featured a white glowing liquid like a pearl, swirling feverishly inside the metal cage. I put my fingers against the glass, it was warm, and a faint smell of chocolate chip cookies rose around my head. 

I needed it. 

"HO HO HO!" Boomed a voice just behind the curtain of the little shop. A leather gloved hand shot into view and swept the curtain aside. It was the Jolly Man before my very eyes. I let my fingers slide away from the jar, and I could feel my jaw hang. For a moment, I felt like a kid again. He was round, red and white, with rosy cheeks and a button nose and big belly. He was Santa Claus.

"I'll take TWO!" I heard a frantic voice bellow from behind me. Soon more voices joined as if we were back on the surface betting on car races. I squeezed my fingers around the plasmid again and pulled it to my chest.

"I'll take this one," I said to Santa. He nodded and waved me to an woman dressed in green. I paid her and got out of there shortly before the shop got overran. I wiped sweat from my brow, tucking the plasmid beneath my jacket as if it were contraband, and darted back to Olympus Heights.

Later that night, just before the kids were to be put to bed, I faced my bathroom mirror, plasmid in hand. I was wearing an over-sized red suit, black gloves, and red hat. I studied my features, knowing they were about to transform. Opening the bottle I murmured to myself, "Now Dasher, now Dancer..." and chugged the bottle to its last drop.

The change started in the belly, making it warm and bloat. I looked down and saw my stomach swell to the seams, looked at my hands and saw my arms fill the sleeves like air was being pumped through my suit. In the mirror, I saw my clean shaven face sprout tufts of white hair, and eventually a cascading white bear. My nose turned upwards and grew round. And the strangest thing, I felt a little mad.

My wife might be upset I purchased this plasmid. It's a good one, I can win her over quick I think. But she'll tell me what she always does, "Are you mad? Do you remember what happened to our neighbors? I'm sure you remember hearing the sounds. Too many plasmids, you know! They'll drive you mad, I tell ya!"

I shook the voice away. But something bubbled up from deep inside and I felt the overwhelming urge to laugh. A deep-bellied laugh that made my fingers curl. I looked in the mirror to my watering eyes, red with tension and madness. Now Prancer and Vixen...

I grabbed a bottle of Incinerate! I had hidden beneath the sink and chugged it. "ON COMET! ON CUPID" I screamed, bursting through the bathroom door. "ON TOP OF THE PORCH! ON TOP OF THE WALL!" I lit the Christmas tree alight. "NOW DASH AWAY! DASH AWAY!" Screams rose from the bedrooms. "DASH AWAY ALL!"

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Merry Christmas!

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“We have come to define significance as “I'm special and everything else isn't.” Religions thinking they're special, cultures thinking they're special, individuals thinking they're special... The top 4 ingredients in life, in your body, top four atoms, in order: hydrogen, oxygen, carbon, nitrogen. Those four atoms. Do you know what the top ingredients are in the universe? The top four chemically active atoms in the universe? Hydrogen, oxygen, carbon, nitrogen. So upon learning that you're not special because you do not contain special ingredients, is the same fact that includes the idea that while we live in this universe, the universe lives within us. We are special because we're the same.”

Neil deGrasse Tyson, Hot Ones

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Some images from my Pinterest album for a story I want to write. Tried to pick a fair few that would give a decent idea of where I want to go with it. Find more over at Octipuff on Pinterest.

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😂 😂 😂 This kills me. RIP.

I love it more than my other favorite:

But they are both lovely faces of confusion. 😂 💀

there's a hateful quality to how you render things

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Morning routine doodle. Forgot to add the part about my cybernetic eyes engineered to absorb as much internetting as possible.

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Saw this awesome fern tattoo going up someone’s neck into their buzzed hair while I was at work a few days ago. Had to draw something inspired by it. Also wanted an excuse to draw some awesome clothing patterns again - palm leaves and summer. <3

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BZZZZZ!

Drew a cosplayin’ friend! Inks, markers & colored pencils of the Prisma Color variety. I was so nervous to color him in because the linework LOOKED SO GOOD, MAN. But I’m happy with how it turned out. Tried some new things, learned some new things. 

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The final product! Pretty cool to have had friends use the directory to hunt me down for a photo, and to have other unknowing friends be confused at seeing my name in game LOL. All in all, the Prey and Bethesda teams were awesome. Not only did they get my job title in the game (which was the most exciting thing ever, lemme tell you hwat) but they also sent me a little bonus Morgan Yu notebook that they were giving out during conventions because of an early fanart I did for them. I’m happy to see this game do well publically, and I am obsessed with playing it too! It’s tricky, and I love the loosely-linear feel to everything. There’s no one specific way to play and that always makes for a great game.  Also if you’re on the fence about this game it’s worth it. It’s BEAUTIFUL. The monsters are interesting and can be fucking terrifying. I had one try to PHASE THROUGH my turret, which was both confusing and alarming as shit. 

The little sciencey excerpts they sprinkled over the ship’s desks and tables allude to a much more interesting take on the type of alien that is aboard the TALOS I. I was particularly geeked to see a passage on the Fermi Paradox as well as various Inter-(or Multi-)dimensional notes. I live for this kind of scifi. 

I could go on forever, but I’m going to let you all figure it out for yourself and PLAY IT. Explore. Look at everything. <3

April, Emotional Marketing (PREY)

She referred to herself as a ‘Color Psychologist’ to others, 

to put her job simply. She was indeed paid to keep the crew of Talos I in a state of happiness, with out them even sensing the influence.

“Did you know that the color red gives you a sense of urgency? That’s why ‘EXIT’ signs are red, and final sale signs. Orange is for comfort, I use a lot of orange. And yellows. Ochre. Golds. Those help with creativity and confidence. Don’t catch me on a bad day here, or I’ll make your room grey. You don’t want to know what grey will do to you.”

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It has arrived!! My prize from the #iamtranstar contest with the creators of the game. I only wish I was off this weekend so I can dive right in! Keep an eye out for "April" or "Octipuff" - not sure how I'm incorporated, haha. The Prey team has been awesome, especially Jessica the Bethesda Community Manager. Thanks for all the love for my art and the opportunity to be involved. 💙