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Paul Brown shares his perspective on bullying. Check him out on Facebook.

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This comparison is important. The difference in these two birthdays is important. These photos are taken exactly a year apart: the left is my 18th birthday and the right is my 19th birthday. Here’s how these nights went:

18: I went out to a sushi restaurant with close friends and family. I refused to drink my first legal drink. I was wearing 2 pairs of pants and 3 sweaters. I had one bite of sashimi, ran to the bathroom, locked myself in the stall and purged. I refused to come out and my mom had to get the manager to unlock the door. I cried my eyes out and I had to convince the manager to let me sneak out the back because I was too embarrassed to go back to my own birthday party.

19: I met up with the same (with a few additions) group of friends at a pizza and wine bar. I had half a pizza, 3 glasses of wine and a slice of birthday cake. Scratch that, I had my face pushed into a piece of cake. In this picture I am over 30lbs heavier than one year ago today. I am wearing a thin tank top. I am warm, I am fulfilled and I love myself. (I am also pretty drunk).

I want you to know that recovery is 100% possible. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Some days, it took literally all my strength to push through meals. But I did it, and others can too. Eating disorders are not a “for life” sentence, although they feel like it. With hard work, adventure and patience, you can learn to love yourself again. You can learn to hold yourself together again.

Choosing to let Anorexia consume me would have been one of the last decisions I would have ever made. Choosing recovery was the single greatest decision I’ve ever made. 

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Shaun & Vicki from Be The Change share their heart for stopping bullying. Take a watch

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"At the age of about 12 I was a victim of bullying"

It started with just 1 guy who would physically abuse me daily by pushing, punching me etc...   He would also mentally abuse me with name calling constantly. This 1 particular guy was actually in our group of friends.

When at a friend’s sleepover party one night I brought my airbed to sleep on and the bully was made to sleep on it with me. He constantly prodded and poked at me all night, when I tried to ignore him he just wouldn’t stop!! I got to the point where I got so annoyed I said to him I would let my airbed down and go home. He didn’t care and he continued.  So I did as I said and at 2am I took my bed and walked home.  My “so called friends” never supported or defended me in any of this. I was actually a laughing joke and made fun of at what I had done by walking home and I was then left out of future sleep overs etc…

This was 1 of many incidents that year.

As I made my decision to choose a high school to go to for the following year, I never followed my friends because I wanted to go somewhere fresh, new and away from all of the bullying and start over again where no one knew me.

High school started out well for me until I hit 4th form, when a new student started and joined my small group of friends.  He started picking on me as a joke and it progressed to becoming more serious. It led to physical abuse, I became his punching bag.  My arms were so deeply bruised they were yellow! My mum noticed one day and confronted me with it, so I proceeded to tell her what was going on. She was so furious she went straight to the school and told them. The bully was punished and later that year he left.  Unfortunately it didn’t stop there.

1 year later I was again bullied by 2 guys who extorted my lunch money from me daily, mentally abused me, and they even keyed and kicked in my car causing me to park it a block away from the school to protect it.

This had such an impact on my home life and school life! I hated school so much I never wanted to go and would get out of it anyway I could. I would always be angry and take this out physically on my sister.  My parents would try and do anything they could to help but it always seemed to make it worse if we confronted the situation. It was hard for them to watch as I started off high school as a bright student with good grades and ended school by wanting to leave as soon as I could. I never sat school certificate as result of my bullying.

I did tell my parents everything that was going on like I said, and they would talk constantly to the school. The school made me tell them the bully’s names and when the school confronted them it made the bullying worse! I was now known as a NARK! And everything still continued.  I can honestly say I felt it was the worst thing I could have done.  Looking back I wish I had of confronted them a lot more and stood up for myself before I let the school know.

My experience at high school was TERRIBLE!

Going into my adulthood this experience affected me deeply.  I faced situations where I would react out of anger, take things a lot more to heart, take things the wrong way and I would become a real pushover in my work places never standing up to anyone. I went into a bad relationship that drained and controlled me emotionally and physically and I never knew how to get out. My self-esteem and confidence was knocked completely.

Becoming a Christian 10 years ago I was set free from the chains bullying had over me! Jesus has been my healer from all those deep hurts and pains caused by people’s words and actions. I now have a beautiful wife and family of 4 children. I am totally aware of bullying not only at school but also in work places. As part of my experience I now home school my 2 eldest children and love it.

My advice to anybody going through this would be to always have a huge support of friends! Always talk and tell your parents EVERYTHING and don’t let the bully’s push you about, stand up to them and make sure the school knows regardless of how hard it is to tell them.

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"We all have heart, we all have emotion, but above all, we all have the ability to be awesome." - Cam Calkoen

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Watch Massad & Eve from the 4:30 show share a message around bullying.

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Spread the word

I’ve been bullied before, I know what it feels like. I didn’t get bullied that hard which could’ve caused me to commit suicide. When I first heard this song I thought, “Wow. This song has a really good message” it’s true. Spreading the message of this song could end the world of bullying, who knows?

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YOU be the one to tell them<3

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Check out this encouraging message from "One Voice" rapper Josh!

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"Share the love"

This is fantastic…to get the word out. Let’s treat others the way we would like to be treated. Share the love , and not judge. Let’s step out in faith and lead the way. Coming from someone who has experienced this too much, forgiveness always helps.

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"Announce to the world it is happening"

Sticks and stone my brake my bones but name can kill me! that is how the saying should go, Just because there is no physical injury doesn’t mean there is no damage. Don’t take it, announce to the world it is happening, stand up to the bully by sharing what is happening.

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"Become who they CAN be, not be who they are…"

Bullies bully to disassociate themselves from their own ‘imperfections’ or ‘differences’. They choose not to acknowledge what they could be changing within, acting out towards others of who they would self consciously want to be more like…scared to admit they dislike parts of themselves their inability to recognise their own need to ‘heal’ and become who they CAN be, not be who they are…

Bullies are cowardly with little inner strength….

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"Words hurt"

People need to realise that words can hurt more or just as much as physical pain, often making the scars that the words leave behind cut deeper and take longer to heal… We have one life let's all try and get along by treating one another with love and respect.

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"Let’s stop bullying"

Let’s stop bullying and segregating each other because of color, sex, religious beliefs, and family status. Bullying will resulted into negative impacts in the community and the people living in. Let’s all raised voice together to stop bullying each other.

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My Bullying Experience

When I first started high school I had this friend let's say her name is ‘Susy’ me and Susy were best friends since year 7 in primary school and the start of high school. At first it was alright just a few snarly comments but then she fully turned against me. Now I don’t know about you guys but I was never the ‘popular one’ in school so she was basically the only friend I had she started telling me these ‘jokes’. "you look pregnant today… ahahaha joking" "do you know who’s a waste of space?" "who?" "you! hahahahahah joking" "do you know how worthless you are? hahahahah joking" like I said she was my only friend so when she said these I just had to suck it up and laugh along with other wise she would go “OMG! why do you take jokes so seriously” I’m now in year 11 in high school she still does the same shit but it's gotten more physical she’s started punching me then saying “oh its just a friendly puch, ya know” In year 10 I tried to say I didn’t want to be friends with her anymore but everyone in school turned against me because she started crying and everyone was like “omg whats wrong?” and she would say it in front of everyone. I am now diagnosed with a eating disorder, depression and social anxiety. I didn’t get all the mental health problems from Susy but it didn’t help that she did and still does this everyday. I used to be addicted to self harm and would try to kill myself but when ever I tried I would wake up the next day alive. I think it was just God's way of giving me a second chance in life and I’m now on the road of recovery, thinking positive and ignoring the bad people in life and not letting them get inside your head.

that’s my story

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The collective

So inspired by such a young person with such wisdom and a vision to change the world for schools and, who refused to be knocked down by other people’s negative actions. We are so for this, “bullying sucks”. It would be so nice if school could be a place of encouragement and respect for each other’s differences. We are all valuable and deserve to feel safe and happy. Jess and Donna