ozma914

[ozma914]

Don't Sweat Air Conditioner Problems

We had an unusually cool spring, but we noticed a problem during the first heat wave of the year: Our big window air conditioner blew air just fine, but that air wasn't conditioned.

I don't know when the problem actually begun. These things are always found at the worst possible time, like when your furnace breaks down during a blizzard, or your sewer backs up during colonoscopy prep.

And I can't complain, because the air conditioner came with the house--which I bought 35 years ago. In fact, we did an internet search for the model, Sears Coldspot, and learned they stopped making it in the 70s. Our air conditioner survived over forty Indiana summers, and that's remarkable. I was still in my teens when that thing was made! I wish I'd held up nearly as well.

 One final indignity: The box for the new air conditioner ended up on the old air conditioner.

My house doesn't have central air, or central anything. I suppose we could pump cold water through the hot water radiators and cool the house that way, but ... say, maybe that's something to try. Although the furnace is also over forty years old, so best leave well enough alone.

The air conditioner was set into a window, at one corner of the house, but the thing was huge. It was powerful enough to cool the entire downstairs, as long as you set up three fans to blow the air from room to room, in a windy circle that ended with the kitchen air being pumped right back to the conditioner. If you set it up just right, walking through a room can feel like being Jim Cantore reporting for The Weather Channel.

The upstairs is on its own. We bought a small unit for the bedroom, and left the smaller room upstairs to swelter in the summer. In the winter, the smaller room is used as a backup fridge. Old house problems.

When the downstairs air conditioner, which had its own electrical shutoff and a special plug, stopped cooling the house, Emily went outside and laid her hand against the side of it. Then she came back inside and placed her hand in a stream of cold water until the burning stopped.

At least a fire would have taken care of that ugly wallpaper.

Yes, there was definitely something wrong, of the "play Taps at its grave" variety.

Anyone who knows my history will not be surprised to learn I saved up for the next big home repair job. After that, it was a simple process of taking the old air conditioner out and replacing it.

It's usually when the word "simple" appears that we run into trouble.

The old unit had been permanently installed in that #@%& window. It had been screwed, hammered, molded, glued, foam-sprayed, and caulked into place. It was as if in addition to stopping air leaks, they wanted to stop burglaries, alien invasions, and Godzilla.

Eventually we freed it, using two screwdrivers, a hammer, chisel, crowbar, power saw, and two sticks of dynamite. (Luckily it was close enough to Independence Day that nobody noticed the noise.) Preparing to install the new air conditioner, I tried to raise the window further.

The window wouldn't raise. It wouldn't raise because it had been installed at the same time as the air conditioner, and was fitted to its exact specifications.

The new unit did not, of course, meet those specifications. But you knew that.

That wrapping on top of the new air conditioner contains ... a remote control. Unless both my legs are broken, I have no idea when I'd use it.

Keep in mind that Emily and I were doing this work on a day when the temperature was 88 degrees (at 6 p.m.) and the humidity was 107%. How this is possible I don't know, but after an hour we looked like we'd stepped into a shower fully clothed. Oddly enough, the dog didn't seem at all bothered by this--if anything, he seemed happy to have a new window to look out of.

When we finished, I left the pried out metal, the hunks of insulation and piles of screws, the broken drill bits, right where they fell, and simply taped over the areas the new unit didn't cover. Then I tried to plug it in.

Which wouldn't work. The new unit didn't have a special plug.

Some things you should check first. Luckily, there was a more normal plug a few feet on the other side; we turned the new unit on and went out to get a pizza while it was working.

No way were we cooking inside that house. I mean, any more than we already had.

·        Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

·        Barnes & Noble:  https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

·        Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

·        Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

·        Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

·        Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

·        Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

·        Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

·        Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

·        Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

·        Substack:  https://substack.com/@markrhunter

·        Tumblr:  https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

·        Smashwords:  https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

·        Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember, read with the fan in front of you, so the pages don't blow away.

[ozma914]

Old Grocery Store, New Secrets

A small town needs certain things to stay alive. A post office; a gas station; apparently a dollar store, considering they're springing up like Marvel movies. The one strange guy who walks around at night talking/singing to himself. One or two people who loudly complain about everything.

And a grocery store. My home town of Albion lost its grocery store, which isn't a huge deal compared to bigger problems, like the constant threat of the reality TV. Still, ghost towns across the country attest to what happens when a community's base disappears.

Most of us didn't know until after the store closed that the family that ran it for forty-some years were not the same people who owned the building. I didn't, even though I worked there when they took over from the former business owner.I'm the cute one.

Okay--I'm the one in the center.

Rumors ran rampant about what would happen to the former grocery store building. It was originally built by Vikings who wandered into the area around 1021 AD, so many thought the owners might tear it down, replacing it with, say, an airport. The site's right next to the railroad tracks, so no one would even notice the extra noise.

One rumor was that it would become one of those Dollar General Markets, a mini-grocery store where you could also buy everything from clothes to dolls to doll clothes. But there are already two dollar stores in town, built directly beside each other because that makes sense. Granted, they're on the other side of town from the old grocery store, but there's not that much town.

And then: Construction crews moved in and started overhauling the old building, top to bottom.

It's being done by Amish workers, the best builders in this part of the galactic arm. If you gave them a blueprint they could build a starship, even if their faith prevented them from piloting it.

So what will the new building be?

Nobody knows.

Oh, there are rumors, but for some reason no one involved is willing to tell. It's their choice, of course: It's private property. Still, it's quite the mystery: If you were going to open a business, wouldn't you want people to know what it will be? It's just ... strange.

So I declared on social media that it was going to be a Galactic Empire shooting range. Those storm troopers, they really need the practice. 

Maybe if they tried to, I don't know, aim.

 

I quickly realized this is exactly why the new occupancy is so secret: Because it's secret. So I came up with some possibilities. If you know but can't say, blink your left eye three times.

* Nuclear waste transfer depot. This is where the waste is transferred from truck to train. I mean, the tracks are right there. We might not like the idea now, but I'm sure in no time we'll all be just glowing.

* Vice-Presidential Museum. Indiana has produced the second largest number of  U.S. Vice Presidents. Only New York has more, and they've been around for three decades longer. Part of S.R. 9, which runs through Albion, is officially The Highway of the Vice Presidents, as it connects some of their former homes. We're Number Two! 

* Big box store in a little box. Groceries upstairs, clothes in the basement, everything else on the roof. If you catch someone trying to shoplift a power tool, just shove them over the side. This one needs thought: I'll workshop it. 

* Experimental indoor farm.  Many towns don't allow farm animals because of the noise, and the smell. If the workers install soundproofing and a filtering system, we may be looking at the future of agriculture. Worried about cows contributing to climate change? No problem: Now all the animal farts are captured, and used to power the indoor field sunlamps.

You know, that started as a joke, but I think I might be on to something.

* CIA regional office. That explains everything. I mean, everything except why it would be in Albion. All I know is, ever since I started writing this there's been a black SUV with tinted windows parked across the street.

* Secret archeology site. Who knows what's under the ground there? A mastodon? Prehistoric giant skeletons? Godzilla's smaller cousin, Joezilla? There's a reason why Dr. Jones goes by "Indiana".

And finally:

*  Nuclear missile silo. Look on the bright side: If WWIII breaks out, we'll be the first to know.

I still like our little town.

Our books, many of them about small town life, area here: 

·        Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

·        Barnes & Noble:  https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

·        Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

·        Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

·        Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

·        Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

·        Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

·        Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

·        Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

·        Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

·        Substack:  https://substack.com/@markrhunter

·        Tumblr:  https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

·        Smashwords:  https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

·        Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Even small town book writers need big city support.

[ozma914]

Give Me Donuts, Or Give Me Death!

I don’t talk much about politics, but just to show I’ve always paid attention, I uncovered this piece from way back in 2012. I think you’ll find me on the cutting edge of activism:

News has come that New York City Mayor Bloomberg wants to ban supersized sugary drinks, as a way to combat malnutrition.

He also signed a proclamation for NYC Donut Day.

Sometimes it just writes itself.

(Oh, another note of irony: I brought up several internet articles to familiarize myself with the Bloomberg Big Belly Ban, and the very first one was preceded by one of those annoying internet ads – for Ben and Jerry’s ice cream.)

The BBBB would apply to any bottled soda or fountain drink over 16 ounces that contains more than 25 calories per eight ounces, which is pretty much all of them. They’d be outlawed at restaurants, sports venues, street vendors, and – brace yourselves – movie theaters. Gasp! Next they’ll be taking my large buttered popcorn.

But those goobers won’t get it without a fight.

No word on whether the 17 ounce Big Gulp will be available in government offices, but grocery stores and convenience stores would be exempt. Apparently large soft drinks sold there are not dangerous.

The good news is, banning things that are bad for us is always effective, and always, always works. Just ask the people who pushed Prohibition.

Well, they can have my Slurpee when they pry it from my cold, sticky hands.

When Bloomberg came for cigarettes, nobody spoke (because they were busy coughing). When he came for trans fats, nobody stood up (because they were too heavy to get to their feet). Now they come for sugary drinks, and who will stand up for Mr. Pibbs? Has the medical field even debated this? Did anyone ask Dr. Pepper?

Give me Mountain Dew, or give me death! And not Diet Mountain Dew, either. It tastes like artificially sweetened sheep dip.

The Founding Fathers would be horrified. The whole reason they settled in the New World is because the British wouldn’t let us sweeten our tea.

“One lump or two?”

“How dare they alter our national beverage? Off with their heads!”

Then we formed an independent country, so we could have southern style sweet tea. Thomas Jefferson wrote that right into the Declaration of Independence, along with a clause about fried chicken and gravy. Both were removed by a rather grumpy New York delegate named Samuel Chase, whose wife had just put him on a diet.

Say, do you suppose that’s it? Maybe Bloomberg’s just steamed because his wife has him eating fish and asparagus.

Benjamin Franklin would be especially upset, as he’s been known to upturn an extra-large mug of mead himself, from time to time. Franklin, who famously said wine is proof that God loves us, and wants to see us happy, would have loved one of those fountain drinks that you need to haul around in a cart. Ben Franklin would have punched Bloomberg right in the nose. Well, maybe not … Ben would probably have slept with Bloomberg’s wife. He was into all sorts of excesses.

I’m not so sure about Thomas Jefferson’s reaction. He believed in personal freedoms (unless you were one of his slaves), but also had a huge vegetable garden that he took great pride in. He grew over 250 varieties of more than 70 different vegetable species, in a garden 1,000 feet long. His children hated him.

Once, Jefferson sent John Adams a sampling of twenty different types of lettuce. Adams wrote back: “Tom, would you relax and have a friggin’ donut? I’ll bet you can’t find twenty different varieties of donuts.” (This was before Krispy Kreme.)

Still, they would have agreed that no mayor of York, old or new, had the right to come over and tell them how many lumps they could put in their tea. Should you stop drinking huge sugary drinks? Of course. Should we bow to a government telling us we have to? Hell, no.

We can’t have true freedom without independence. A nanny state, by definition, is a lack of independence. I may disapprove of what you eat, but I will defend to the early death your right to pork rinds.

Yes, there have to be some limits in an orderly society, but we must draw a jittery line in the sand, with one of those big soda straws. Our voices, strengthened by a sugar rush, should shout out that we can be convinced to be healthier, but not be force fed. And, to paraphrase Franklin Delano Roosevelt, we would rather die on our Frostie than live on our salads.

[ozma914]

Battlestar Galactica Theme | VioDance Violin Cover

[ozma914]

When a Character Is Grieving Someone They Never Got to Say Goodbye To

✧ They talk about the person in past tense… then correct themselves. Then stop talking entirely.

✧ They touch things that belonged to the person like they’re fragile, sacred, about to disappear.

✧ They hoard the last voicemail, last message, last anything. Play it. Don’t play it. Just knowing it exists hurts enough.

✧ They leave something untouched, an empty seat, a half-packed bag, a coffee order that isn’t theirs.

✧ They get irrationally angry when someone else seems to be “moving on.” As if forgetting is betrayal.

✧ They don’t let themselves cry all at once. It comes in pieces. Like they’re afraid too much grief will drown them.

✧ They over-apologize. For being quiet. For being distant. For not being okay.

✧ They become hyper-aware of time, dates, anniversaries, time zones, the exact moment everything ended.

✧ They get superstitious. Ritualistic. As if doing things "right" might reverse something.

✧ They smile when they talk about the person. But it’s brittle. And it never quite touches their eyes.

[ozma914]

Not an every day thing for a town the size of Albion.

[ozma914]

When Is Writing Filler Not Writing Filler?

Note: If you like happy endings ... you might not want to read to the end of this post.

In a previous blog I detailed my failed attempt to sell a novel to the romance industry's biggest book publisher. The synopsis: They liked my query, asked for the entire manuscript, then disappeared into a publishing black hole from which even emails couldn't escape.

I wish all my snynopsis were that easy. Snynopsis's? Synopsi?

I submitted to a specific line of books within the publisher, but that line's requirements have changed so much my story would no longer be a fit for them, anyway. So, I was free to submit Fire On Mist Creek to a different publisher.

Or to a different line within the same publisher.

No, I'm not insane, hear me out. First, here's the blurb I wrote for the story:

Thanks to insomnia, volunteer firefighter Alice Delaney is Night Watch for the little town of Mist Creek, Kentucky—the entire Night Watch, unless you count the firehouse dog. That’s a break for former Chicago firefighter Reed Carter, who she finds in a broken-down pickup truck near town. Soon after that he returns the favor, by helping her rescue the occupant of a burning house.

Both are on the run from their respective demons, but Reed may have found his salvation in the form of a little town in crisis, and a woman dealing with loss. Alice isn’t so sure: Newly promoted to Mist Creek Fire Captain, she’s dealing with a financial crunch and an arsonist. She’s not ready for a relationship with an action junkie who could be taken away from her. Not again.

I had to research firefighting, of course.  

It's a work of staggering genius. Not the book, the blurb: I boiled that down from 60,000 words! Blurbs and synopsi ... sss, are the bane of book writers.

On a related note, the novel was 60,000 words. The Big Publisher had another line that would be absolutely perfect for this book, assuming they didn't change the line's requirements before I got it to them. There was only one small glitch: That line wants stories in the 70,000 word range. Maybe not exactly, but a 10,000 word difference is a deal killer.

Now, there are other publishers I could submit Fire On Mist Creek to. Still, I wanted to work with this publisher, I said stubbornly, in a rather whiny voice. But add 10,000 words to a story I thought was finished?

I found my answer in another dumb thing I did, which is where I find many of my answers. During the almost five years waiting to hear back after they requested my manuscript, I wrote other books. I wasn't just pacing in the back yard. Imagine all the dead grass.

Hundreds of books! Thousands of books! Okay, eleven.

Two of those books are set in that same small town, Mist Creek. Okay, one starts out elsewhere and ends up in Mist Creek. The point is, if I couldn't find a publisher that's interested in all the books, I may have wasted a lot of writing time.

But in my haste, I found the answer to my length problem. Many characters from Fire on Mist Creek show up in the other two novels, but a lot of characters from those two books didn't even exist when I wrote the first one.

And that's when I felt a great swell of inspiration, or maybe more stupidity.

If it's going to be a series, more of the people from the other books should be introduced in the first. In fact, it would be easy, because some of those later people are involved Mist Creek's emergency services. They'd naturally be around each other, anyway. In the other two books there's only one other new arrival; the other characters are already town residents.

Since the story is set before the others, I could put them in without having to refer to the other two books and confuse everyone. Sure, I'm confused, but if I could straighten myself out everyone else will be fine. Even as I mused over the idea, new scenes came to me that would enrich the story and also play into the main plot.

(Update, because I didn't post this right away: So that's what I did. The rewrite is finished, and the new story sent!)*

I have an office, and I'm ready to write! Once I find my laptop.

I told you it's genius. It's such a great idea, I'm pretty sure aliens showed up one night and inserted it into my, um, body. That would explain the tiny piece of metal in my chest. Even if I end up with another publisher, the book will be better. Hold my beer, I'm writing!

(Okay, I don't drink beer, but leave my tea alone--it's still hot, just like my typing fingers.)

*Okay, here's the bad news. All this was in the past: I submitted the book to Harlequin Heartwarming on April 6. The Publisher Who I Just Named, aware of how long they strung me along last time, sent me on a response on May 16, a blistering speed for a traditional publisher.

It was a form rejection. So, we move on.

You can find the books that did somehow make it to publication here:

·        Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

·        Barnes & Noble:  https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

·        Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

·        Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

·        Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

·        Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

·        Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

·        Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

·        Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

·        Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

·        Substack:  https://substack.com/@markrhunter

·        Tumblr:  https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

·        Smashwords:  https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

·        Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember, writers need all the support they can get.

[ozma914]

My next book of science cartoons Physics for Cats is available to preorder now! Links here: www.tomgauld.com

[ozma914]

Mother Nature Has Been Grumpy

 Is it just me, or has Mother Nature been, this year ... grouchy?

Surly? Cross? Cantankerous?

Yeah, I thought so, too. Maybe we brought it on ourselves, the way everyone has been storming at each other. That makes this a perfect time for a ... song.

Hey, we all need a peaceful moment. It's been a particularly awful weather year; for some more than others, but mostly for everyone. The other day I had to stop picking up wind-blown branches because of frostbite. (I shut off our furnace exactly two days before the--wait for it--polar vortex reached us.)

It's not a great song, but I'm not a great song writer. I heard the music in my head while writing the words (It has a country vibe). But I can't play it for you because I can't write music, and it probably won't work as well as a poem. Maybe it's for the best, though, because I'm also not a great music writer. Or ... any music writer. What the heck, I'll throw in a few photos from the storm outbreak, too. Once it got cold, my hands wouldn't stop shaking enough to get a good picture.

See those little black spots in the sky? Birds. Really dumb vultures, I think, battling a headwind.

I should hold a contest: If I sell fifty books by the end of June, I'll post a video of me singing this. But that might lead to negative sales. "For Heaven's sake, don't sing! I'm sending your books back to you." I call it: Springing Out of Springdom. (I'm not a great title writer, either.)

I like to ride in the countryside just to take in spring. The flower blossoms, birds at play and all the greening things. But this year I've come to realize something that's made me sad. We won't get a spring this year 'cause we've all been too bad. Yeah, we've all been too bad this year, we just can't get along. We fight and fuss and disagree Even as the days get long. Mother Nature said "Screw you!" "I'll just evaporate." So winter just won't end this year; she left us to our fate. So now the temp's below average just like all our moods. Plants are brown and grass is dead, let's face it--we're all screwed. Our tulips won't come up this year, They're underneath a drift. The robins are hitchhiking south, their frozen wings won't lift.

Yes, we've all been too bad this year, we don't deserve the spring. Mosquitoes can't come out in this, it's frostbite that'll sting. Mother Nature said "Stuff it!" and left us all to freeze. so winter just won't end this year, no flowers, birds, or bees. So let's all try to get along, we just don't have to fight. At this rate our nice summer will become a year long night. It's not that we all must be friends, but hatred hurts our souls. If we don't make up by Christmas At least we can heat with coals. True, we've all been too bad this year, and spring will never come if we don't get our butts in gear and stop being so dumb. Mother nature said "I'm done!" and winter's staying strong. So dig back out your salt and plows ... or try to get along.

As long as the internet hasn't blown away, we can be found all over:

·        Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

·        Barnes & Noble:  https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

·        Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

·        Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

·        Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

·        Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

·        Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

·        Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

·        Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

·        Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

·        Substack:  https://substack.com/@markrhunter

·        Tumblr:  https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

·        Smashwords:  https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

·        Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Books can be taken with you into a storm shelter.

[ozma914]

The Notorious Ian Grant is officially here; to my surprise, Haunted Noble County is unofficially here

(Note: This is the OFFICIAL announcement. You can tell by the officious way I typed it. Ignore the previous mentions.)

 As you've almost certainly already heard, we have a "new" book out, plus a really new book up for preorder. Considering what a crappy year it's been so far, I'd say that's reason to celebrate.

At least a little "yahoo!" and a chocolate cake.

After getting the rights back from the original publisher, we've been trying to independently publish The Notorious Ian Grant for ... well, the first thing that stopped it was COVID. No, that was late 2023 for Emily and me, wasn't it? I don't remember what the first thing was, but the theme continued: illness, injury, death--generally, the 2020s.

So when I got this preview copy in the mail, it felt like reaching the peak of Mount Everest:

Your thumb may vary.

Not quite the summit, because Emily had to make some corrections, then get it up and running as an e-book. It'll be on Kindle Direct Publishing for 90 days, then go into wider distribution for those of you who would like to get it elsewhere. The print version went up just a few days ago. But the old version is also still listed, so for our improved edition, go here:

https://www.amazon.com/Notorious-Grant-Storm-Chaser-Book-ebook/dp/B0F3KWHWK8

Meanwhile its "parent" book, Storm Chaser, is getting a price reduction in both ebook and print, as part of my cunning plan to get people hooked on the first book so they have to get the rest. You can find Storm Chaser here:

https://www.amazon.com/Storm-Chaser-Mark-R-Hunter-ebook/dp/B0C7MB95NH

And from there you can click on the author's name (me, I'm the author) for the related books in the Storm Chaser series, Storm Squalls and The No-Campfire Girls, and our other books.

Another meanwhile, a few weeks ago I was surfing the internet and stumbled across ...

Okay, fine, I was Googling myself. And no, I don't have a Wikipedia page. Anyway, I discovered Haunted Noble County, Indiana, which I talked about a lot last year, is up for preorder on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. Other places, too. This being traditional publishing, the official cover isn't up yet, although last week I finally got a look at it.

A week after that I got an email from my publisher, letting us know Haunted Noble County, Indiana, would be officially published on August 12th of this year. They still haven't told us it's up for preorder. I mentioned it's traditionally published, right?

You can preorder it on our Amazon page, or here:

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/haunted-noble-county-indiana-mark-r-hunter/1146986091

Haunted Noble County, Indiana - (Haunted America) by Mark R Hunter & Emily Jane Hunter (Paperback) : Target

Haunted Noble County, Indiana by Mark R. Hunter; Emily Jane Hunter (Where the heck is Books a Million?)

https://bookshop.org/p/books/haunted-noble-county-indiana/cd5ef7fd35523035

I think it all boils down to Arcadia Publishing, which History Press is part of, having a very good distribution system.

More information--naturally--as the year goes on, assuming there are no illnesses, injuries, or accidents.

 You can track down us or, more importantly, our books, here:

·        Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

·        Barnes & Noble:  https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

·        Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

·        Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

·        Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

·        Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

·        Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

·        Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

·        Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

·        Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

·        Substack:  https://substack.com/@markrhunter

·        Tumblr:  https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

·        Smashwords:  https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

·        Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

 

Remember: You can't judge a book by its cover until it gets a cover.

[ozma914]

Tongue Tied By a Shoe Tale

I wrote this several years ago, so no, don't go looking for Fred.

  Some of you may have seen a shoe perched majestically at the top of the hill in my front yard. If not, I’m enclosing a picture as an introduction. We named it Fred. Say hello to the people, Fred.

(He can't speak, even though he has a tongue.) Yes, I know what you’re thinking. “You named a shoe?” Well, why not? We always name the strays that end up hanging around our house. Last fall we named the mice that set up housekeeping there, even as I tracked them down and did a Dirty Harry on their rodent rears. One day I got home and Fred was simply – there. I live on a main street, and lots of young people (read: litterers) go by, so a certain amount of trash is expected. My neighbors have been doing renovations, and whenever a stiff wind pops up some of their waiting to be disposed of debris will take up shop around my house. Just a few days ago I found the remains of a light bulb scattered across my porch. Who knows about that? Maybe somebody had an earth-shattering idea. But a shoe?

I have a theory about how that shoe could have gotten blown into my yard.

That’s not an object easily blown around, especially to land at the top of an embankment. No, it had to have been thrown there. If so, it was an exceptionally artistic throw, as the shoe landed upright, proudly showing to passers-by that it was high-strung. I’m generally annoyed at litter, but in this case I confess to being rather bemused. So bemused, in fact, that I left the footwear there, wondering if the owner might show up to claim it. Maybe it was tossed there by some clownish “friend” who thought it would be funny to see his buddy stumping around in one shoe. What a heel. But no one claimed the poor little orphan, so I felt I had to name him, and picked Fred out of thin air. How do I know it’s a male shoe? How many girls do you know who would throw away a perfectly good shoe? I rest my case.

Some girls even pick shoes right off of dead people.

Later I told my daughter that Fred could stay until lawn mowing time, and she informed me in turn that I could simply mow around it. How, she asked, could I just boot Fred? I thought she was going to sock me. (Get it?) Her passion left me tongue-tied. (Get that one?) I appreciated her sole-searching, but couldn’t build Fred his own closet -- not on my shoestring budget. (Okay, that’s enough.) For now, Fred stays. Maybe his other half will show up, and they’ll get off on the right foot with some other owner. Hm. Come to think of it, I wonder if they’re elevens?

Oh! I just made this connection: "Brought to you by:"  Fred Toenges Footwear.*

Pay for my future footwear here:

·        Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

·        Barnes & Noble:  https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

·        Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

·        Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

·        Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

·        Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

·        Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

·        Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

·        Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

·        Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

·        Substack:  https://substack.com/@markrhunter

·        Tumblr:  https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

·        Smashwords:  https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

·        Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

*Not really, but if they want to talk about a sponsorship ....

Oh, did you make it to the bottom? Then you get first look:

[ozma914]

Twitter thread by Melissa Caruso about a labyrinthine magical bookstore in Syracuse, NY. Link to the first tweet in the thread; most pictures have image descriptions! Now here are the screenshots of that thread:

And then a hero of the labyrinthine magical bookstores of the world put all the bookstores that people listed in the replies on a map! (Google Maps link)

[ozma914]

Writing Star of Stage, Screen, and … Well, Mostly Screen

 I got an email the other day about a new book that's out:

Thanks for letting me know! I do know the author, but I didn't know I followed me.

Other than covering it in the newsletter, I haven't even made a public announcement that the newly rereleased The Notorious Ian Grant is out, yet. Maybe next week, if the print version is ready.

Then, the other other day, I was perusing the internet when I stumbled across this:

If you look closely you'll see Hoosier Hysterical is for sale used, on eBay. The print edition goes for ten bucks new; I went over to eBay and some of the used copies were priced at almost twice what they are new. I saw a "new" copy available--from Germany--for $24.88 ... PLUS shipping.

It just goes to show, you gotta shop around.

Or you could just follow our buy links:

·        Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

·        Barnes & Noble:  https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

·        Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

·        Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

·        Smashwords:  https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

·        Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

I'm okay with our already-sold books being passed around--it's nice to gain readers. On the other hand, if you go to our links and buy new, we get a little of the money. I'm okay with that, too. (And no, I had nothing to do with any of these ads ... I mean, as far as I know.)

[ozma914]

I like to have fun with my self-insert characters: They're usually the opposite of perfect.

I am actually so serious I think it really messes with a childs creativity and joy to tell them to never make a mary sue OC. Like that unbridaled form of joy where you make a self insert OC who super cool and everyone loves them and they have every superpower in the world SHOULD be something a kid makes, it nourishes their ability to create things for fun and not be stifled by "oh but what if my character is too overpowered and cringey...". whatever

[ozma914]

Edits, and Price Cuts, and New Books … oh, my.

 Our editor just sent the edits back for Haunted Noble County, Indiana, along with a VERY tight deadline for getting them done. So you won't be hearing much from us for a week or so.

That being the case, I'm interrupting your regular blog so you can check out the news over on our newsletter, which you'll find here:

The Notorious Ian Grant released, Haunted Noble County on preorder, Storm Chaser price cut!  Long story short: Haunted Noble County, Indiana is up for preorder now with an August 12 release date; we cut the ebook price for Storm Chaser from $1.50 to 99 cents; and we're rolling out the rerelease of Storm Chaser's sequel, The Notorious Ian Grant. It's out as an ebook, and will hopefully be available on print and audio soon.

Okay, it wasn't that short. But there are more details in the newsletter. I'm off to edit--wish my chronic back pain away, please.

Support your local author! And editor. If you have time. ·        Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO ·        Barnes & Noble:  https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter" ·        Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter ·        Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/ ·        Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/ ·        Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/ ·        Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914 ·        Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/ ·        Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter ·        Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter ·        Substack:  https://substack.com/@markrhunter ·        Tumblr:  https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914 ·        Smashwords:  https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914 ·        Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf Remember, a lot of work goes into making a good book, so keep buying.

[ozma914]

Since it's watermelon season!

My grandfather used to grow watermelons, among other things, and he told me about most of this, especially the orange spot. Those are the absolute best!

[ozma914]

911 Is Still the Number for 911

 We got a new radio system in our dispatch center, and the guy training us on it claimed we could use it at home, on a laptop.

This is a great idea in theory: It would save me gas, and clothes would be cheaper if all I had to buy was pajamas. Of course, video 911 is coming, and callers might not be comfortable with my Star Trek onesie.

Actually, callers might not like seeing me no matter what clothes I'm wearing.

"You got what stuck WHERE?"

This is my thirtieth year celebrating Public Safety Telecommunications Week, which is in April between the snow storms, brush fires, and tornadoes. Since the title's so long, I started calling it PSTW, which is kind of ironic because PSTW sounds a lot like PTSD. Everyone who's dispatched longer than seven years gets to know both. It's science.

Here's the strange thing: I'm burned out on this job. Once too often I've picked up the 911 line only to hear hysterical screaming. Once too often I was the last person someone ever talked to. Once too often the name of a victim or suspect ended up being someone I knew.

Yet it's still the best full time job I ever had.

I actually do wear a cape, but only at home when no one is watching. But yay, cookie! Better keep it away from the dog.

Maybe it's because we're actually doing something important. That's a weird thing to define when it comes to jobs, because the best paying ones often are the least important. When a family member is having a heart attack, you don't call your favorite sportsball player for an ambulance. For that matter, when your water pipe bursts you don't look up the number for Beyonce, or Reba McEntire. (Actually, Reba could probably help.)

But that's the way it goes, and at least I've never been stalked by a 911 groupie.

I know the artist!

If you've considered being a dispatcher, I'd encourage it. It's way more important than being a security guard at the Oscars. Also, you have to be bad at it to lose your job--the demand for dispatchers just continues to go up.

Still, it can be just a bit stressful. When I'm talking to new people, I like to give them a few tips they don't get in formal training:

No matter what the caller says when you pick up the line, never reply with "You gotta be kidding me."

Always know if you have a live mic. Always.

Try to avoid cursing in dispatch--see above about live mics.

Well ... at least try not to curse too much.

If you have to scream in the bathroom, turn the water on first.

Yes, you are a first responder. When 911 rings, you're the first to respond to whatever the problem is. All the others have the advantage of knowing that problem, because you find out.

Hold your temper if your 911 caller starts with, "This isn't actually an emergency ..." Deal with it if the business line rings and it is an emergency. So it goes.

If you have to bang your head against a wall, choose a different place each time, to avoid damage to the concrete.

And finally: If the melatonin gives you nightmares, try sleepytime tea. Sleep is precious.

On a related note, that idea of dispatching on a laptop from home? No. I already have dreams in which I come downstairs and find the dispatch center has been moved to my living room, and I'm the only dispatcher. Besides, I like my Star Trek onesie, and Star Wars pajama bottoms just wouldn't be the same.

Buy some books, just in case of an emergency: ·        Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

·        Barnes & Noble:  https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

·        Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

·        Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

·        Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

·        Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

·        Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

·        Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

·        Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

·        Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

·        Substack:  https://substack.com/@markrhunter

·        Tumblr:  https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

·        Smashwords:  https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

·        Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pfThe odds of having to dial 911 are much lower when you're home reading.